Went through all the papers and I have nothing to talk about. Off to the store (out of tuna and wheat bread) and then to do who knows what today.
I hear there is a basketball game tonight.
A commenter on the Catholic Church abuse scandal
Longtime commenter ThymeZone has written here about his own experiences with abuse within the Catholic Church. I am passing it on because it is a courageous and thoughtful comment.
I’ve recently retired from my longtime career-job-occupation, so that gives you and idea of the age group I am in. And in the 50-plus years since the aforementioned mistreatment, I have spoken of those events with maybe half a dozen other people, including two shrinks and a few other people I was close to at one time or another. Let’s just say, I really don’t enjoy talking about much. And from adolescence until about age 40, a period of around 25 years or so, I pretty much blocked out the entire experience and all the events around that time in my life, so that the thing just was a dark blank space in my memory.
So, to the topic at hand, which I address here with some trepidation. Over all those years and some considerable therapy, I have come to only a very few conclusions. One of them is that I long ago forgave the person who mistreated me. I compared my own pain at being a part of his pain, with his, and decided that there was a good chance that he was more tortured by it than I was. Maybe, maybe not. I really have no way of knowing that for sure. But the point is, I don’t know, and I couldn’t see the point of carrying anger and resentment around with me for the rest of my life. Life is hard enough without adding to the inventory of painful things. I just let go of the anger, forgave the poor man, and over a not very long period of time my own shame and fear of the thing faded away too. A fairly effective pill, forgiveness, and for me, without much in the way of side effects.
I have no dog in the fight over what is happening the Catholic Church, but when it comes to the simple matter of how people treat other people, when it comes to the mysteries of sexuality, I refuse to be judgmental and carry grudges. At the risk of seeming odd and being unpopular in an age of triumphant sex police on every corner, I just don’t want to join in the condemnation of other people unless there is some really compelling reason to do so. The Church has its own work to do, and I have no advice for it on how to go about doing that work. I wish it well, I hope it turns out as well as possible for everyone under the circumstances. In my own experience, by far the most painful part of what happened to me was the hysterical reaction of adults around me to the events. If they had been okay with it all, I would have been much better off. A seven year old can’t understand much about sexual behavior, but he can sure understand fear and overreaction on the part of adult figures in his life. Whatever value there is in that message, I hope it helps somebody else. I’d have had no reason to feel horrified and ashamed of what happened to me if the adults around me hadn’t been so sure that horror and shame were what I ought to be feeling.
A commenter on the Catholic Church abuse scandalPost + Comments (72)
Early Morning Open Thread
It’s worth the effort to see How to Train Your Dragon in 3D (or, if you’re lucky like me, IMAX 3D). If you’re any kind of an animation fan, you’ll enjoy it — it’s a step up for directors Dean DeBlois and Chris Sanders (cool interview for the completists among us), whose last picture was Lilo and Stitch (which I adored). I think Dragon has a stronger story line than UP (which was, in my eyes, just okay), and better character development than Avatar (not that difficult, admittedly). The flight scenes are beautiful, the fight scenes are properly hectic, and the hero(es) suffer genuine consequences for the choices they make. (There’s at least one Bambi’s-mom-level cute-character-in-peril scene that might be too scary for really young children, but things work out okay in the end.)
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Who Knew Titty Bars Had Such Strict Dress Codes?
No Armani, no Louboutin, no service? Lindsay Beyerstein, at AlterNet, finds “Trendy Fashion Buys Reimbursed as ‘Office Supplies’ to RNC Finance Officials”:
Listed on the report in the category of “office supplies” are purchases from a New England winery and a Capitol Hill liquor store, as well as more than $3,800 from a Florida clothing store. The category of “meals” also seems to extend to the sartorial, with a $450 purchase from a high-end Manhattan boutique — one that has no restaurant or take-out shop on the premises — falling into that category, as listed on the RNC’s reports to the FEC. That purchase, as well as one for more than $500 from the Florida clothing store, are attributed to RNC Deputy Finance Director Debbie LeHardy, who, according to the report, was reimbursed for them.
[…] n February, as the RNC’s finance chiefs gathered in Boca Grande, Florida, for their Finance Leadership Meeting — the meeting at which the RNC’s “fear” strategy for donors was revealed in a telling PowerPoint presentation — the RNC made purchases totaling $3817 at Fugate’s. On its report, the RNC labels the purchase as “office supplies,” but Fugate’s general manager Nancy Blank says her store doesn’t sell office supplies. Fugate’s sells men’s and women’s clothing and accessories, Blank told AlterNet. “We’re a specialty department store,” she said.
Okay, so I guess the upscale Boca Grande restaurants must be too exclusive to have a spare sports jacket and an couple of ugly ties stashed behind the hostess station for lowly RNC drones who show up in khakis and polo shirts. At least the Fugate’s customers didn’t have to catch their own dinners….
Records also show that LeHardy received reimbursement for $282 spent at Boca Grande Outfitters, which bills itself as “the area’s most complete saltwater fly fishing and light tackle outfitter.” The report designates the reimbursement for “meals.” Aaron Sutcliffe, a clerk at BGO, said the store doesn’t sell food.
Who Knew Titty Bars Had Such Strict Dress Codes?Post + Comments (51)
Mission Accomplished!
I’m going to call this an unqualified success:
I didn’t even have to season the throw with catnip.
Open Thread – Chatroulette
Via JenJen in the comments, Ben Folds playing chatroulette in front of a live audience:
Open Thread
Here is a moment of zen for you on this Friday morning:
It is good to be the king.
Also, new petitions for you to take part in on the right over there.