Michele wants some answers to some basic questions:
1. If you were a tree, what kind of dog would piss on you?
Who cares? I just wish the birds would stop crapping on me.
2. Do these pants make my ass look fat?
Why don’t you take them off so I can compare?
3. What’s your stance on sporks?
I prefer to stir my vodka tonics with a straw, but in a pinch a spork will do.
4. You’re the presidential candidate for a viable third political party. What’s it called and who’s your running mate?
“I’ll be honest- We are going to lie to you” and my veep would be PJ O’Rourke.
5. Why do birds suddenly appear?
To eat the worms that fattened up on Karen Carpenter.