Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Let there be snark.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

The willow is too close to the house.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Sitting here in limbo waiting for the dice to roll

Nothing worth doing is easy.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Not all heroes wear capes.

This blog will pay for itself.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

I really should read my own blog.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

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28Comments

  5. 5.

    DougL

    I can not make it more than one sentence in and I am ready for a drink.

    It is, after all, after noon … somewhere.

  6. 6.

    Mike

    I can not make it more than one sentence in and I am ready for a drink.

    OK, but is it white wine or a beer?

  8. 8.

    Grim

    “I can not make it more than one sentence in and I am ready for a drink.”

    I’d say, ‘To hell with it — let’s just have a beer and forget the whole thing’ — is a very masculine response. Good for you.

  10. 10.

    Jane Finch

    It makes you normal. These people really don’t have anything else to talk about, obviously.

  11. 11.

    timb

    watch it, John, question anyone’s masculinity and Jeff Goldstein will threaten to beat you up (I have the posts where he threatened me).

    As for the whole thing, isn’t arguing who’s more manly pointless? Everyone knows the most manly man is the guy who never stops polishing his Trans Am.

  13. 13.

    Andrew

    watch it, John, question anyone’s masculinity and Jeff Goldstein will threaten to beat you up (I have the posts where he threatened me).

    In fairness to jeff goldstein, if he was talking about cock slapping you or anally fingering your dog he was probably just looking for a date.

  14. 14.

    timb

    Off-topic and readily available for deletion by John or Tim

    But here are the four references (mind you I posted once between numbers one and two asking him if he was really physically threatening me. Three posts w/o a comment by me? At that point I decided to (to quote the paraphrase the great Douglas Adams) that if discretion is better part of valor, then cowardice is the better part of discretion and I would bravely and silently lurk when I visited.

    Timmy is a pussy. He wouldn’t say word one were he forced to actually debate someone in person.

    Don’t post here again, timmy. I’ve asked you now several times.

    Pretty soon you’ll no longer be timmy to me. You’ll be Tim B**** — the Tim B**** who will be sorry he didn’t accept my invitation to go away quietly.

    Oh. And if you don’t think you have a lot to fear, drop me an email and we can get together, for, like, lunch or something.

    If I ever see timmy in person, and I’ve invited him to meet me (don’t know why he’d avoid me: English majors aren’t known for their braun, he reminds us), I will be less than gracious in greeting him.

    So, I guess he was asking me for a date (we’ll start with lunch and move to dinner if we have anything in common?) and I misinterpreted it.

    Entire thread for anyone interested:
    http://proteinwisdom.com/pub/?p=122#comments

    I have, however, refrained from sending the e-mail. Airfare to Denver is just too expensive for one single lunch and good cock slap. Now, perhaps if asked me over for the weekend…

  15. 15.

    grumpy realist

    One sentence in? John, I got half-way through that first “sentence” at Protein Wisdom and gave up.

    (Did like the picture of the Neko-bus over at Firedoglake, though. Tonari no Tottoro wa kakkou ii na….)

  18. 18.

    conumbdrum

    Best wingnut response yet: Jules “I Wanna Wanna Wanna Be a Jarhead” Crittenden, summed up thusly:

    “White blogger! Breed faster! Your wife’s fine child-bearing pelvis is stagnating in the workplace, when it could be pumping out little ones to swell the Anglo ranks in the war against jihad! White blogger! Breed, damn you, breed!”

    Do these jittery, stave-off-the-brown-horde conservatives like Crittenden, John Gibson, Michelle Malkin and Bill O’Reilly just assume that no dark-complected Americans read their vile, racist invective… or do they just not give a shit?

  19. 19.

    Rome Again

    About 30 seconds of that material and I am ready to call up and schedule a lobotomy

    Don’t you dare!

  21. 21.

    Jeff G

    Here’s me threatening to beat timmah up (in response to his having called me a pussy, essentially, for going the law enforcement route with Frisch. Ironic, isn’t it? Because all I can gather from that is that, to Timmy’s way of thinking, a REAL MAN would have…what? Ignored it entirely? Or gone all Death Wish on her?)

    First, here’s timmy’s comment:

    Quick, Jeff, I think D*b Fr***h just thought about you! Call the attorney, a reporter, BRIT HUME!!!!”

    — which was brought to my attention by another commenter.

    My response:

    timmy actually brought up Frisch?

    What a no class little turdlette.

    If I ever meet him in person, we’ll discuss that breach of etiquette.

    Funny, though, how when they get in high dudgeon, what they always say was an objectively horrific experience for my family becomes the first thing they turn to when they need to taunt.

    I didn’t call a lawyer for me, timmy. I called a lawyer because taking the law into your own hands is frowned upon, particularly when you have a family to consider.

    I wouldn’t wish Frisch on my worst enemy. That you would try to use her that way is a testament to the grubbiness in your heart.

    Congrats!

    Now don’t post here again.

    This, after asking him on at least 4 prior occasions not to post again.

    Then there’s this that I wrote:

    Timmy is a pussy. He wouldn’t say word one were he forced to actually debate someone in person.

    The context of that? That Timmy wouldn’t be calling me a racist or a homophobe in person — not because I’d beat his ass for it, but rather because he’d fear that I might. Because he’s a coward.

    Timmy — having been asked now on at least 5 occasions not to post anymore, responds:

    So, your manly taunt is “you wanna take it outside.” Since English professors are roundly noted as being studly fighting men, I’m sure I have a lot to fear.

    Is this all, then?

    This is all you have?

    After the scary prose, the “well-considered” political treatises, the “defensible” partisan political positions, the great Jonathon Winters joke, the “devastating sarcasm”, the personal attacks…

    …at the core of all that is Nelson Muntz-esque bully with an improbable copy of O’Connor’s Wise Blood tucked into the waistband of his jeans?

    In the words of Monty Python: Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

    Now. Did I say “you wanna take it outside?” No. I just noted that timmah would likely not say such things to my face. Because he’s essentially a pussy. Otherwise he would never have brought up the Frisch thing — and again, certainly not in front of me.

    To prove this, I posted an email from him commiserating. Showing that not only was timmy a pussy, but he’s a pussy of the two-faced, phony, ass kissing variety.

    My response:

    Don’t post here again, timmy. I’ve asked you now several times.

    Pretty soon you’ll no longer be timmy to me. You’ll be Tim Burns — the Tim Burns who will be sorry he didn’t accept my invitation to go away quietly.

    Now, given my proclivity for using law enforcement to keep persistent stalkers away — as Timmy himself noted, and mocked — why on earth would he see this as a physical threat?

    Here’s the text of timmy’s email, re: Frisch. Keep in mind that this is one of the many many emails he sent, all of them in the same tenor: that of a world-class kiss up:

    I think you misunderstood that last post. I was expressing my opinion that JD and your readers do not have a legal option. You certainly do and your counsel seems to be doing a fine job. The joke about enemy combatants was just that — a tweak at my fellow readers.

    At any rate, good luck getting back on track and, since I certainly never meant to offend you, I wanted to offer my apology.

    Personally, I have trouble understanding why that warrant can’t be served.

    Whether you welcome me back or not as a result of this e-mail, I just wanted to let you know that piling on to someone’s personal problems is not my modus operandi, especially when one is being tormented. For that reason, I wanted to make sure you did not misunderstand me. You, personally, have allowed me to comment at your site, even though are political opinions are divergent, and that is amazingly commendable.

    [realizing how long he rambled] Anyway, good luck to you, your family, and PW.

    And then my final comment on the matter:

    If people knew how much time I spent saving screenshots and documenting abuses and talking to lawyers, etc., they wouldn’t be so quick to open their ignorant mouths.

    Then, in between, I’m supposed to throw up happy posts about unrelated news items, after having read vile shit about my little boy all morning.

    If I ever see timmy in person, and I’ve invited him to meet me (don’t know why he’d avoid me: English majors aren’t known for their braun, he reminds us), I will be less than gracious in greeting him.

    I will be less than gracious in greeting him.

    Why, it’s practically Clint Eastwood-esque in its hypermasculinist threateningness!

    But as you’ll recall, when I’m really interested in threatening someone, I take to referencing my COCK.

    I’ll say it again. Timmy is a pussy. That he’s now running around from new forum to new forum whining that I threatened to kick his ass, looking for a likeminded crowd to join up with so as to beat on mean old pasty, is a pretty fair indicator of what a cipher this guy really is.

    Call me, timmy! We’ll do lunch!

  22. 22.

    SweepTheLeg

    Timmy is a pussy. He wouldn’t say word one were he forced to actually debate someone in person.

    Timb,

    I see you have decided to pull your head out of Mr. Caric’s rear long enough to come up for air.

    I also know that you have made it your personal goal to discredit Jeff by any means but it would appear to me he was talking about giving you a verbal smackdown in person and nothing else. Now run along timmah, Mr Caric’s bum is cold.

  23. 23.

    timb

    Jeff, you can’t leave anything alone? Mentioning your name makes you appear?

    Let me ask you: getting any traffic from posting this here? Is burnishing that rep as a crazed lunatic getting Malkin or Red State to link to you. Think Pajamas is sending you to Daily Kos next year based upon you chasing former posters halfway around the internet? This entire thing, well it does not make you appear insane…not at all.

    Truly a pathetic display. I’ll tell you what, I’m a poor guy (even more so than you), so flying to Denver is out of the question. But could you give me your number? I’d be glad to call you sometime and explain how your weird self-involvement isn’t helping you attract readers. Or, we could get together the next time you’re in Indy for a conference or a book signing…oops, I guess that won’t be happening.

    Toodles (and leave me alone)

    PS Scan the web, paranoid one, who knows I may have taken the name “Goldstein” in vain elsewhere…or not, who knows. It’s all up to your creepy self to sniff it out.

    PPS The last time I was offended or hurt by being called a pussy, I was twelve. Keep it up, though, it makes you sound mature and well-read.

  24. 24.

    Dave Munger

    Yeah, that’s some crazed, pathetic lunacy Jeff just posted here. It’s like, when people say stuff about him, he responds and clarifies! What an asshole. That’s a totally innapropriate thing for a blogger to do in the comments of another blog.

  25. 25.

    timb

    Makes perfect sense to run halfway across the internet to “defend” his copy and pastes against my copy and pastes.

    When he threatened me to “go away quietly”, was that clarifying? Did he “clarify” that here? When I said he threatened me…all he “clarified” was why (in his opinion) he threatened me.

    He’s a tinpot little bully with a bit a violent streak.

    If I were him, since he continually chases posters away, I’d be sending out resumes and interview nannies, ’cause dude’s gonna need a job.

    Nice site, by the way, Dave.

  26. 26.

    Dave Munger

    Thanks, I’d keep updating it if blogger didn’t have certain attitude problems.

    I think it’s a little absurd to act like blogging and commenting are outrageous responses to someone else blogging and commenting upon one, as if “half way across the internet” is literally a very long distance, or there were some immemorial gentelmanly custom of leaving false aspersions unanswered.

    Maybe I’m missing something, but I think what he’s getting about re: threats, is that he said (perhaps an unfair conjecture) that you wouldn’t have the nerve to say some stuff to his face, not that he would assault you if you did. It’s a pretty well-worn observation that certain people say stuff online about people that they wouldn’t say to their face, not neccessarily for fear of physical harm, perhaps more for fear of embarrasement.

    I’ve never been called shitcock or dirty Jew to my face, and I really doubt that’s because people think I’d kick their ass. One could say I lack a certain Schwartzenegarian quality in person.

  27. 27.

    timb

    Dave, do you know anything about his history? If you did, you might understand how freaked out I was (I had only been posting there for months). If you Mr. Goldstein and discount his history of threatening folks, revealing personal data, allowing his posters to post personal data, etc, you are a little more Schwartzenegarian than you suspect!

    On a different note, we can use Schwartzenegar as a noun or an adjective….can we also work in to a sentence a verb? An expletive? Advanced points for using it as a transition, e.g. “As I Schwartzenegaring,…”

    I am stupid to be that amused by less than witty observation?

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  1. […] In case you missed it, Dr. Helen defends herself from Neiwert’s (willful?) misinterpretation of her post, which started this whole brouhafuffle. EcoPunk reads back a little ways, but not to the radish of the issue. John Cole’s brain hurts. Personally, I don’t think that makes him feminine. […]