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You are here: Home / Past Elections / Election 2008 / The McCain Plan

The McCain Plan

by John Cole|  April 3, 20088:10 am| 35 Comments

This post is in: Election 2008, Politics, Republican Stupidity, General Stupidity

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McCain’s new ad:

After taking a moment to thank the knuckle-headed, short-sighted, and self-defeating Clinton campaign for setting us up for a season full of 3am ads, take a moment to admire the McCain plan. He is going to grow jobs! He is going to grow our economy! Yes, that sounds simplistic and stupid, but McCain is a Republican and has a secret weapon- PONY DUST!

If you just sprinkle it everywhere, you don’t have to worry about deficits and balanced budgets, you just sit back and watch our jobs grow! And don’t worry, it works in Iraq, too! There wouldn’t be any planning shortcomings once McCain comes to office with his PONY DUST.

Would it be too snide to mention that John McCain can’t even pay for his own campaign, and is on the public dole?

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Reader Interactions

35Comments

  1. 1.

    Attaturk

    April 3, 2008 at 8:14 am

    I thought this was McCain’s new ad?

  2. 2.

    4tehlulz

    April 3, 2008 at 8:16 am

    Would it be too snide to mention that John McCain can’t even pay for his own campaign, and is on the public dole?

    YES BECAUSE HE IS A MAVERICK AND IS NOT UR TYPICAL WASHINGTON POLITICIAN. DID YOU KNOW HE WAS A POW? HOW DARE YOU.

    /media

  3. 3.

    Rarely Posts

    April 3, 2008 at 8:24 am

    Does anyone actually think old John will be awake at 3 am?

  4. 4.

    Jen

    April 3, 2008 at 8:30 am

    There is but One True Pony, and thou shalt not honor any other Ponies before me, for he is the Way, the Truth, and the Light.

    Thought you guys might like the view of the HRC campaign stop from our local commie rag.

  5. 5.

    Soylent Green

    April 3, 2008 at 8:32 am

    He will be up at 1 am, and 3 am, and again at 5 am. Ask any middle-aged or older guy.

  6. 6.

    Conservatively Liberal

    April 3, 2008 at 8:33 am

    JedReport has a new Hillary ‘ad’ up that I found via Kos. Pretty funny shot at her not paying the bills…lol

  7. 7.

    Soylent Green

    April 3, 2008 at 8:35 am

    In a campaign ad, never doubt the effectiveness of transforming “repeal the Bush tax cuts on the rich” into “Clinton and Obama will raise your taxes.”

  8. 8.

    Crusty Dem

    April 3, 2008 at 8:35 am

    You mean McCain’s illegal campaign that no one in the media will talk about? As if it’s ok because one of the laws he’s violating has his name on it? Do you think this would work with anything else? Because if it did, we’d have all sorts of interesting new laws, like the “Craig anti-bathroom solicitation bill” and the “DeLay-Cunningham anti-bribery bill” and the “Kennedy safe driving bill”. I wonder if it would get Cheney to run for congress again, his anti-torture bills would be epic.

  9. 9.

    The Grand Panjandrum

    April 3, 2008 at 8:40 am

    Grow jobs! Grow the economy! Horseshit. Grow some good pot; (after legalization) then tax the hell out of it. Voila! May not balance the budget but it would get the economy off its blocks. (I realize drug law is a tough subject for McCain and the Heiress, but maybe, just for once, he could be a real “straight” talker, as it were.)

    Jesus! Anyone here old enough to remember when being straight meant you weren’t high on drugs?

  10. 10.

    Conservatively Liberal

    April 3, 2008 at 8:44 am

    The PONY DUST is only for use during the campaign. If McCain wins the general, this is what we get.

  11. 11.

    Scott H

    April 3, 2008 at 8:45 am

    Now, now, public campaign financing is not charity – unlike, say, actually electing a politician to office.

    And must we still shout down this relentless propaganda against John McCain? John McCain will be up at every hour of the night. To pee. (For a squarish-jawed realishist like McCain the wee hours is no idle figure of speech!)

  12. 12.

    PK

    April 3, 2008 at 8:47 am

    O.K, I will ask. What does 3am have to do with the economy? National security I get, but the president gets woken up for home foreclosures?

  13. 13.

    bootlegger

    April 3, 2008 at 8:51 am

    I’m confused, when did Blondie and the MUP say they would raise taxes? Ohhhhhh, I get it….

    Always forward, never straight!

  14. 14.

    The Other Steve

    April 3, 2008 at 8:58 am

    Would it be too snide to mention that John McCain can’t even pay for his own campaign, and is on the public dole?

    He was for the public dole before he was against it.

  15. 15.

    Walker

    April 3, 2008 at 8:59 am

    Personally I think this is great. All it is doing is desensitizing the American public to these types of scare tactics. No one is going to pay attention to these.

  16. 16.

    Dennis - SGMM

    April 3, 2008 at 9:00 am

    Jesus! Anyone here old enough to remember when being straight meant you weren’t high on drugs?

    Me. I’m Sixty as of today.

    On another note, McCain’s top two economic advisers are, wait for it, Phil Gramm and Carly Fiorina. You know, Phil Gramm; the guy who engineered the repeal of Glass-Steagal (Signed into law by Bill Clinton) which deregulated the very financial markets that are now imploding, the guy who never met a financial regulation that he wouldn’t repeal. Phil Gramm, current co-chairman of UBS who was recently quoted as saying that he didn’t know how extensive their exposure to the sub-prime mess is but that they’ll be fine. Carly Fiorina was ousted from her position as CEO of HP after ramming through a series of changes there that led to a decline in the company’s value and an exodus of top managers. Fiorina once said, “There is no job that is America’s God-given right anymore. We have to compete for jobs as a nation.”

    McCain’s Dream Team. How could anything go wrong?

  17. 17.

    BH Buck

    April 3, 2008 at 9:13 am

    Happy Birthday, Dennis!

    Hope it’s a good one.

  18. 18.

    Garrigus Carraig

    April 3, 2008 at 9:16 am

    Happy birthday DSGMM.

    Also Apocalypse Pony (from ConsLib) FTW.

  19. 19.

    Dennis - SGMM

    April 3, 2008 at 9:16 am

    BH Buck Says:

    Happy Birthday, Dennis!

    Hope it’s a good one.

    Thanks! Just being above ground makes it a great one.

  20. 20.

    serge

    April 3, 2008 at 9:21 am

    No sir, it would not be too snide.

  21. 21.

    fish

    April 3, 2008 at 9:44 am

    Pony dust, otherwise known as horse shit.

  22. 22.

    qwerty42

    April 3, 2008 at 10:04 am

    John, why do you hate America?

  23. 23.

    gypsy howell

    April 3, 2008 at 10:27 am

    Gotta say, old John looks pretty….OLD in that last shot. Are we sure he’s going to hear the alarm clock at 3 am? And how is he going to grow the economy and create jobs at 3 am? Are we all going to have to work the graveyard shift from now on?

    BTW, is it me, or does his logo on the last frame look suspiciously reminiscent of the Army logo?

  24. 24.

    Tsulagi

    April 3, 2008 at 10:28 am

    Wait, I thought The One had the patent on magical pony dust. You saying McCain muscling in with some cheap, generic knockoff? Or that he’ll use dark-side pony dust if he’s in the Oval Office? There’s a whole lot of pony dust going around.

    Me. I’m Sixty as of today.

    Okay, now that’s old. Poster boy for AARP? Still, you could change your username to myage1/2tz.

    Just kidding. Snark off…Happy Birthday.

  25. 25.

    Dennis - SGMM

    April 3, 2008 at 10:45 am

    Okay, now that’s old. Poster boy for AARP? Still, you could change your username to myage1/2tz.

    Just kidding. Snark off…Happy Birthday.

    Thank you! The problem is, I didn’t wake up one bit smarter!

  26. 26.

    Chris Andersen

    April 3, 2008 at 11:57 am

    The 3am thing is becoming a joke that is quickly wearing out its welcome (if it ever had any to begin with). If McCain thinks riffing off this will help him he is mistaken. It will just make people’s eyes roll.

    So, who’s going to be the first to make a 3PM ad?

  27. 27.

    TenguPhule

    April 3, 2008 at 11:59 am

    Think about it. Only ONE candidate is able to pay his own bills anymore. The other two are deadbeats.

    If you think of their campaigns as reflections of how they’d run the country, you can’t say you weren’t warned ahead of time.

  28. 28.

    ThymeZone

    April 3, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    Poster boy for AARP? Still, you could change your username to myage1/2tz.

    Ahah hahahahaha hahaha hha ha ha
    ha

    ha

    cough

    { thud }

  29. 29.

    w vincentz

    April 3, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Happy B day Dennis.
    On a side note, I think I saw John C state on a different thread that “we’re so fucked”.
    Yessiree! We are. If McSame’s “economic plan” brings back fond memories of Hoover’s, we’ll be ever-so-more FUCKED.
    Afer the chimps “What me worry?, Dead-eye-Dick’s,”So?”, next up is Johnny Mc’s “What middle class?”
    Poof, gone.
    I hope the truckers’ stike brings this whole house of cards down, and soon. Enough is enough!

  30. 30.

    w vincentz

    April 3, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    I have to share this in light of the current economic crisis.
    http://newsforreal.com/
    Worth the time it takes to read.

  31. 31.

    D-Chance.

    April 3, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    Speaking of magical ponies… what exactly is Obama’s plan? Is he just going to “transcend” job growth?

  32. 32.

    Rick Taylor

    April 3, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    This is unusual; the campaign adds actually say something, and give the voters a choice. Clinton actually thinks the government should do something about the crises. McCain thinks we should stay the course, continue the Bush tax cuts, and that’ll take care of it.

  33. 33.

    TenguPhule

    April 4, 2008 at 1:16 am

    Speaking of magical ponies… what exactly is Obama’s plan? Is he just going to “transcend” job growth?

    The Stormtrooper enlistment program will create a federally funded workforce dedicated to the eradication of Republican Traitors and Small Furry Ewoks.

  34. 34.

    Zuzu

    April 4, 2008 at 2:43 am

    God, if there were any way I could start a movement to stamp out this ridiculous newspeak use of the verb “grow.”

    You grow plants. You grow food. You grow up.

    You do not “grow the economy.”

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Blog, Jvstin Style says:
    April 3, 2008 at 9:42 am

    It’s 3 am…

    Via Balloon Juice,it looks like “3 am” is the default meme for political ads this season thus far. Now McCain is doing one…but based on the economy……

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