Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

This really is a full service blog.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

After roe, women are no longer free.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

You can’t love your country only when you win.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Eh, that’s media spin. biden’s health is fine and he’s doing a good job.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

No one could have predicted…

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Prediction: the GOP will rethink its strategy of boycotting future committees.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. let’s win this.

People are complicated. Love is not.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

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Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

You are here: Home / Hand me a 40 of Mad Bitch

Hand me a 40 of Mad Bitch

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This (from the dickwhisperer) makes me want to start drinking:

My policy in each presidential race is to vote for the best candidate who is not on the ballot. I think this is superior to the Len Downie approach of not voting at all; I don’t have to commit to one candidate or the other in the race, but I can still go through the exercise of who would be a good president. So I voted for McCain in 2000, when Bush and Gore were on the ballot. I voted for Chuck Hagel in 2004, when Bush and Kerry were on the ballot. And I voted for Mike Bloomberg in 2008.

Reader Interactions

73Comments

  1. 1.

    Leelee for Obama

    You know, if we could get all the RayGun worshippers to think this way, and get them to vote FOR Reagan, who they profess to love so much-we’d never lose another election!
    Me likey!

    ETA-First! Really?

  2. 2.

    CalD

    If more people who are that fucking stupid similarly opted out of electoral relevance, I’m not at all sure that would be such a bad thing.

  7. 7.

    Kobie

    Has Dana Milbank ever written anything of any significance or value? “I vote for people who aren’t on the ballot.” What kind of dumb shit is that?

  10. 10.

    beltane

    Why did you make me click on that POS. Now we know that Dana Milbank is the same person who voted for Lizard People in the Minnesota Senate race. Why doesn’t he spare himself the anguish and write-in Zombie Reagan on every ballot that has the misfortune to fall into his hands.

  11. 11.

    mr. whipple

    “What kind of dumb shit is that?”

    So dumb you’d have to be a re-, um, very, very stupid to admit it in public.

  14. 14.

    Leelee for Obama

    @CalD: The sunlight, it burns! That fucking wanker; guess he thought no one would let his bullshit be seeing the light of day.

  15. 15.

    gil mann

    So dumb you’d have to be a re-, um, very, very stupid to admit it in public.

    Don’t you dare call Milbank a reporter.

  17. 17.

    Scott H

    @mr. whipple: ‘tard. That’s the word you were looking for. That’s the now acceptable term. Perhaps I shoulda put ‘acceptable’ in ‘quotes’.

  21. 21.

    mr. whipple

    I’m gonna follow the Dick Whisperer’s example, but why limit my choice to only politicians? We know they are all hopelessly compromised.

    So, next time up I’m gonna vote for issues, like energy, tax, lifiting America’s spirit.

    Or maybe one of my cats.

    I’m not sure yet.

  22. 22.

    jrg

    So Dana Milbank did his civic duty by voting for the Taco Bell Chihuahua, then gets paid to write about it. We are a nation of fucking retards.

  25. 25.

    Elisabeth

    @CalD:

    I guess actually, like, talking to the president in order to get his attention wasn’t possible?

    Glad to see that the administration made no promises. So, the whole thing was rather pointless in the end.

  26. 26.

    dmsilev

    Every year, there are a fair number of people who write in Mickey Mouse for President. Dana Milbank is at the same level as these people.

    I am not surprised.

    -dms

  29. 29.

    El Cid

    Why limit ourselves to sentient beings, living, past, or fictional?

    VOTE FREEDOM TAX CUT TORT REFORM DRILL HERE DRILL NOW PONY 2013!

  31. 31.

    JGabriel

    Dick Whisperer:

    I think this is superior to the Len Downie approach of not voting at all; I don’t have to commit to one candidate or the other in the race, but I can still go through the exercise of who would be a good president.

    Marginally Shorter Milbank:

    By voting for someone who’s not running, I reinforce my theme that all politics is theater — just like the Republican I am!

  32. 32.

    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal)

    Reading this shit, I’m coming to the conclusion that the only reason the internet justifies its own existence is cheap free porn.

    Fix’t.

    If it’s cheap then u r doin’ it rong.

  33. 33.

    jcricket

    @Sly: For good or bad, Nelson, Lincoln and Landreiu are toast no matter what they do. Their home states are growing ever more reactionary, and it’s unlikely anything resembling a modern Dem could get elected there.

    I know this will shrink our majority, but ultimately I think it’s healthy. I’m not one for purity tests or demanding liberal fealty. But we could do worse than having a caucus that sees eye-to-eye on the overall Democratic agenda, and moreover, votes together on things like Presidential appointments.

    Given the limitations of our overly-status-quo oriented Congress and ever-more-partisan (and insane) Republicans, we need a caucus that can act/be/speak together when it counts.

  34. 34.

    petorado

    Why is any surprised a Villager would say such things. We all know how condescending they are toward the practice of actual democracy. The Villagers are, after all, the real kingmakers. No one rules this nation without their say-so.

  36. 36.

    Warren Terra

    When I was (more or less) an adolescent and Milbank was writing for TNR, I found his catty and superficial writings to be just hilarious and brilliant. But that was about fifteen years ago, and I like to think I’ve grown up a bit since then. Clearly, the #dickwhisperer, late of Mouthpiece Theater, can’t say the same.

  38. 38.

    Rojo

    What’s hilarious is that, if one actually believes Milbank, the exercise of choosing the best person not on the ballot led him to the conclusion of McCain, Hagel, and Bloomberg out of all Americans out there.

    I’m sure that any others engaged in that exercise are not likely to come to the same conclusions as I (…errr, let’s say As`ad Abu Khalil, Dennis Perrin, and IOZ), but seriously, McCain, Hagel, and Bloomberg??

  39. 39.

    Rojo

    P.S. Would someone clue me in as to what this “dickwhisperer” is about?

    Is Milbank able to talk to the Cheney, or am I not aware of all Internet traditions?

  40. 40.

    Sly

    @jcricket:

    I wouldn’t count Nelson out just yet. He can certainly get Mutual of Omaha executives to go door to door for his GOTV effort in lieu of union members.

    Having said that, the Senate is broken as an institution unless one party gets 60 members in their caucus. It doesn’t matter what Nelson, Landrieu, or Lincoln (or Lieberman or Bayh) do. Even if the Republicans retake the body in under ten years, which I don’t think is likely, what disincentive do the Democrats have in not being as obstructionist? None. Hell, if the Republicans can get away with what they’re doing now, the Democrats can be worse and the base will simply cheer them on.

    And why shouldn’t we? Bipartisanship isn’t an end, its a means. If the Republican fiscal platform remains “Privatize Social Security and turn Medicare into a voucher system,” then I would hope the Democratic caucus would burn the place to the ground before going along with them.

  41. 41.

    AhabTRuler

    I imagine Mr. Richard Whisperer’s internal monologue must sound something like Andrew Dice Clay, with lots of ‘ohhhhhh’ and ‘I fucked ‘er’.

    Of course, in the Diceman’s defense, for him it was an act.

  42. 42.

    charlied

    I voted for Gus Hall in ’80, but then I lived in Utah and knew the Electoral College votes would go for Reagan anyway. I just wanted them to wonder who were these people who were voting for a Communist.

  43. 43.

    Anne Laurie

    @John Cole:

    You just know he will vote for Thune in 2012.

    Not unless Sen. Brown #2 has somehow gotten his smarmy soulless grin on some ticket. Or if someone even “cuter” than Cosmo Scotty has put his hand on Milbank’s thigh during a state dinner.

  44. 44.

    Zach

    Give him some credit. However little his comment contributes to intelligent discourse or political progress in America, his choices grew progressively more mature with each election.

    On a related note, I cannot remotely fathom how frustrated Mike Bloomberg would be if he needed 60 votes to get anything done in Washington. And he wouldn’t be as capable of taking liberal Democrats along for the ride, so it’d be even worse.

  45. 45.

    RadioOne

    I’m getting tired of this. Dana Milbank has always been an asshole, and that’s been obvious for a long time, given his numerous ridiculous “setting the politics straight” columns he has gotten published in WashPo over the years to the “Mad Bitch” Hillary Clinton sketch he hosted with Chris Cillizza during the aftermath of the primary season that was mocked appropriately.

    Instead, since you’ve already worked over the beltway press as ridiculous many times over, why not spend some time blogging about some reasonable newspeople that actually give a shit about this government and want to improve America?

  46. 46.

    Warren Terra

    @Rojo:

    P.S. Would someone clue me in as to what this “dickwhisperer” is about?

    Sure.

    From the first Google result:

    Twitter, as of yesterday afternoon, has a new a new hashtag: #Dickwhisperer. Nope, not a typo: #Dickwhisperer. This being a reference to the exchange—entertaining, granted, but only by virtue of its supremely cringe-inducing awkwardness—that took place between Huffington Post editor Nico Pitney and Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank on yesterday morning’s Reliable Sources. The exchange that became so heated and, finally, so insult-driven that, during the show’s commercial break, Milbank apparently leaned over to Pitney and whispered, “You’re such a dick.”

  47. 47.

    Warren Terra

    @RadioOne:

    Instead, since you’ve already worked over the beltway press as ridiculous many times over, why not spend some time blogging about some reasonable newspeople that actually give a shit about this government and want to improve America?

    It’s perhaps not as common a theme of this blog (and of course it’s worth reminding you that bloggers tend to blog about what it pleases them to blog about), but you might check out some of the posts tagged as leading to “Excellent links”.

  48. 48.

    Anne Laurie

    @Rojo:

    Would someone clue me in as to what this “dickwhisperer” is about?

    That’s why we have the Lexicon!

    Dick Whisperer– Derogatory nickname given to consummate Beltway insider and Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank, who after being demolished on a television show by Nico Pitney, leaned over and whispered into Pitney’s ear that he was “such a dick.”

  49. 49.

    asiangrrlMN

    @CalD: I agree with you. If shit-for-brains wants to be all smarmy and vote this way, then I say, good for him. Now, if Palin DOES NOT run in 2012, let’s hope her supporters write her name in the ballot. I would much rather they did that then hold their nose and vote for whomever the GOP props up in the election.

  50. 50.

    jenniebee

    @Sly:

    Having said that, the Senate is broken as an institution unless one party gets 60 members in their caucus and maintains party discipline over all 60 of them

    Fixed.

    Dems could have had a 65-35 majority in the Senate and all it would have done was to push Nelson, Lincoln, Landrieu, Bayh and Lieberman out of the picture and usher a different set of Senators – Warner, Pryor, etc – into a position to demand outrageous concessions to get to 60. As long as Democratic Senators aren’t afraid of repercussions for refusing to support their party platform or their Democratic president’s agenda and Republicans are committed to opposition full stop, the actual numbers are trivia.

  52. 52.

    Rojo

    Thanks to Warren Terra and Anne Laurie for googling and lexiconing for me! My apologies for Internet laziness.

  54. 54.

    Tax Analyst

    Well, sure…and when he goes to a restaurant I’ll bet he orders the best thing that ISN’T on the menu – and probably the best wine that ISN’T on the wine list, and maybe he leaves a tip for the best waiter who doesn’t work at the place.

    What a major dipshit.

  55. 55.

    Tax Analyst

    Vote for Jean-Luc Picard! He strong, but flexible, pragmatic but visionary. Lean but chocked-full of gravitas.

    He’s a true leader among Imaginery Men. Just imagine the fantastic imaginary job he would do as preznit.

    I’m really getting into this. It’s so easy.

  58. 58.

    zzyzx

    I’ll admit to voting for the Ken Griffey Jr/Mariner Moose ticket in 1996. Things are different when you live in a safe state.

  60. 60.

    aimai

    Sly, I’ve got to agree with Jenniebee. If the Dems don’t break the fililbuster rule (somehow) and get the Senate to Majority Rule we are toast. We won’t get to sixty votes in my lifetime and, what’s worse, we won’t learn anything from Republican intransigence. Between the woman who is willing to sacrifice the baby in order to get half, and the real mother who will sacrifice control of the baby in order to save its life, there just isn’t any half way point. The dems will never be as irresponsible to the needs of the country as the republicans. And they will never hold the line against the republican agenda.

    aimai

  62. 62.

    Nick

    @jenniebee: In the past, we’ve been able to reconcile that with getting Republican votes.

    The Democratic caucus, even when it had 70+ members NEVER stayed united, not even when LBJ was majority leader, but Republicans were always willing to work across party lines.

  63. 63.

    El Cid

    @asiangrrlMN: I figured it would be seen as pandering to my thread electoral base [i.e., you] to propose myself as a write-in for 2011 1/2, I went with the more populistisharian solutionizing.

  65. 65.

    liberal

    @jcricket:

    Their home states are growing ever more reactionary…

    Is that really true of NE? (My wife is from the panhandle.) It’s overall pretty right-wing now; not sure what it was like in preceding decades.

    There’s that bit of Obama getting some electoral votes in NE in 2008, though I’m not sure how useful that data is.

  66. 66.

    liberal

    @aimai:

    If the Dems don’t break the fililbuster rule (somehow) and get the Senate to Majority Rule we are toast. We won’t get to sixty votes in my lifetime and, what’s worse, we won’t learn anything from Republican intransigence.

    Another problem with not going by plain old majority rule in the Senate is that it’s already screwed up because small rural states get outsized representation. And that problem cannot even (realistically) be fixed by constitutional amendment; and as the country urbanizes, it’s only going to get worse.

  67. 67.

    LT

    John,

    I’m sure you’ve heard this plenty, but just in case, y’know? Your site hasn’t loaded for me since Sunday. (I often come from the DKos link list, but tried other ways.) Now I hit an Atrios link and get to this post, but when I hit the “Consistently wrong…” link for the home page – nada. Blank screen like before.

  68. 68.

    Warren Terra

    LT, JC posted about that problem last night. I didn’t read the thread; follow the link at the top to the next post (“Pravda”), then the next.
    Also, try appending “/index.html” to “balloon-juice.com”.

  69. 69.

    Political Pragmatist

    No one seems to have read the transcript. Don’t bother, there is nothing in it. Empty. It seems Milbank went to the trouble of trying to find the most snarky, least funny thing he could to answer every question. Like a bad standup on the borscht belt.

    How do these guys get a column and I can’t?

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