From commentor Anna Maria:
This is Ali. Yes, she’s beautiful and she knows it. She is also completely vicious and antisocial and sometimes I think she’s plotting to kill me as soon as she figures out how to open the cat food cans by herself. When she wants something (mostly food) she will snuggle and purr and rub and just be adorable, then as soon as she’s satisfied she goes back to bitchface and attitude. And yet, I love her so.
__
I am from a family of dog lovers, having been raised to think of the family dog as my little brother. My brother first took pity on little Ali and brought her home when some friends discovered her abandoned as a wee kitty under their porch. My parents, true to their nature as animal lovers, called her their first grandchild. Then my brother had 3 wild children in rapid succession and Ali went from simply looking disgusted when one of those creatures made any kind of noise, to hiding whenever one of them was loose, to hiding full time. My brother and sister-in-law, feeling guilty about Ali’s self-imposed permanent exile to the basement, asked the happily single and childless me to take her in.
__
She’s a big fat kitty with a gorgeous coat and is polydactyl on all 4 paws. She knows damn well she is special and no one is good enough to be in her presence. She barely tolerates me for as long as it takes to bust out the food when she’s hungry. She parks herself on every surface where it’s most inconvenient to have cat hair and sheds like crazy–she especially likes to climb onto my closet shelves where I keep folded shirts and sweaters. She crawls all over my laptop, book, magazine, plate or anything else in front of me that’s taking my attention away from her, but then bats a giant paw and hisses at me if I kiss, pet, scratch or otherwise acknowledge her presence. If I come home too late (which happens often) she’s at the door meowing in this angry little tone (which eerily reminds me of my mother when I was late for curfew in high school). I can’t walk 2 feet in my apartment without her running between my legs and tripping me up. She is a royal pain in the ass. And yet I can’t imagine not having her as my sidekick.
__
Maybe it’s the hardcore feminist in me, but I love her bitchy “worship me” attitude. She’s now 13 and still very frisky and shows no signs of slowing down, which is good because I can’t even think about coming home one day and not seeing her tail whipping back and forth, pissed off that I’m still not yet worthy of her.
Ash Can
This story cracked me up. Ali is quite a character. And it sounds like she has the ideal “support staff,” too.
mai naem
This little bitch reminds me of my sister’s cat. My sister was getting unexplained scratches on her face until she finally figured out it was the cat. KC not only likes certain brands, she only likes certain flavors and don’t even suggest “she
ll eat it if she gets hungry” because she won’t. It will just sit there and have stuff growing on it before she will eat it. Also too, she’ll leave a little present for you. KC’s around eighteen and has lost quite a bit of weight in the last year or so, so we figure she will be moving on to better servants in her next life time.
stuckinred
She “floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee”.
ALI BOM-BA-YE
gene108
Cliff Lee back to Philly!!!!!!
Christmas came early!!!!!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!
jeffreyw
Okay…broke the fuck right down and ordered a Kitchen Aid stand mixer because kneading dough is just so fucking yesterday, man.
WereBear (itouch)
Girl cats seem prone to more ‘tude, while boy cats are more likely to be surfer dudes.
Just a general tendency, not an absolute.
debit
@WereBear (itouch): It’s true. We cat sat for a friend who was studying in Japan for 6 months. For the first 3 months, her female cat wouldn’t have anything to do with us and bullied my boy cats terribly. She was, we discovered, a one person cat. When she finally decided to let me pet her, she’d sit on my lap and close her eyes but growled if I dared speak. I can only imagine it was her way of saying, “Shut up! I’m trying to pretend you’re someone else.”
@ thread: What a beautiful girl. I love cats with attitude. Rock on, Ali.
jeffreyw
LOL! Just now Homer had Bea corered. There was much ado–hissing and spitting and kitty slapping. Mrs J observed: “They are playing! It’s dysfunctional playing but it is playing.”
JPL
she’s beautiful and she knows it. She is also completely vicious and antisocial and sometimes I think she’s plotting to kill me as soon as she figures out how to open the … food cans by herself. When she wants something (mostly food) she will snuggle and purr and rub and just be adorable, then as soon as she’s satisfied she goes back to bitchface and attitude.
Hmm…Does anyone know of a cat that doesn’t act like this?
Maude
Don’t get the cans with the pop tops.
She learns how to open those…
Cat Lady
Finney, my little oddly configured kitteh, almost killed me yesterday. He got under one foot, and then the other. My right knee is banged up and my left ankle got twisted. I think this is how a lot of old people meet their end.
@jeffreyw: What color? I absolutely love mine.
Wil
Is this then the truth about ‘hardcore’ feminism? A bitchy worship me attitude? Or a bitch who demands worship? Or however you want to mix the words up.
As liberal as I’ve always been, nevertheless this reminds me why feminists (ahem…’hardcore’ feminists) have always bugged the crap out of me.
It’s not feminism. It’s assholism.
It’s admiring a jerk for being such a jerk, translated into stupid feminist jargon.
And it’s as weak and empty and hypocritical as all the things ‘feminists’ have railed about for decades.
Kristine
@jeffreyw: The Artisan or the Pro? I got an Artisan last month. One of my holiday experiments will be breadmaking. First time for me.
I got the apple green model because I loves me some Spring! Especially now, with morning temps in single digits.
Kristine
Kitty sounds like a handful, but she is lovely. The expression on her face is like, “Take the damned picture already.”
jeffreyw
@Cat Lady: @Kristine: It’s the Pro 600, color really wasn’t an issue except that as I cycled through the choices I noted that “Meringue ” was the cheapest (and a $50 rebate-yay!). I had no problem with that, assuming it to be an off white of some kind. It’s not going to sit out, I have a nice spot to stash it when it’s not in use.
Annie
It sounds like you work for a wonderful darling. Hope Ali gives you an extra treat for Christmas!
WereBear
Actually, one of our boy cats is a big goofball who is sooooo happy and grateful for whatever he gets. He waits at the foot of the bed for us to settle under the covers so he can cuddle between us.
The “arrogance of the independent hunter” explains a cat’s self confidence. They do have different ways of expressing it.
comrade scott's agenda of rage
Plenty of our cats fall into the goofball category.
Sounds as if Ali’s still got a little bit of that wild, feral, earliness in her. Funny how in some cats, that goes away with time and in others……
daveNYC
Most of the parental unit’s cats aren’t rampaging sociopaths. Were the shelters you guys seem to get these animals from built over Indian burial grounds or something?
ET
I have a polydactyl but he only has extra toes on his front paws. I think of the extra toes as more kitty to luv.
debit
@Wil: But it’s obviously okay for you to be an asshole. Glad we cleared that up.
schrodinger's cat
She is gorgeous! She looks a lot like my boss kitteh, Yogi. He rules over the other kitteh and us with an iron paw! but we love him.
CatHairEverywhere
Great story! It cracked me up.
IrishGirl
Ali Cat sounds EXACTLY like my cat, Dusty. What’s weirder is they look alike too. Thank goodness you love her and accept her in all her glory ;)
BC
@mai naem: My cat Sam was like that. She absolutely refused to eat ground canned cat food. She was also like Ali – purr, purr until she got her food, then she would just swat away any attempt to pet her. I called her the attack cat. Sadly, she died from kidney failure last year – she was 19.
tesslibrarian
What a great story! Ali is Awesome!
@debit(7): Thanks for making me laugh out loud today.
Madam Zorba
That reminds me of my favorite fur covered razor blades, Dante’. Found him wailing at a gas station in the middle of no where Mississippi. He’s only about 3 years old and has lots of, hum, “personality”. I love him to pieces and although I have several other pets, I will whisper in his ear (so the others can’t hear), “I love you best”. He gets called “Asshole” and “Satan” so often by friends and family that he actually answers to those names too.
CynDee
@jeffreyw: What color?
WaterGirl
@WereBear (itouch): My boy Bear is definitely a surfer dude, happy go lucky and very snuggly!
Speaking of Bear, I told you about his UTI problems with crystals and blood in his urine, and that the vet suggested cosequin (glucosomine powder) and prescription food but was willing to give me a month to see if there was a way to avoid the prescription food. I talked to you and read up on the internet.
One month later I took him back in, no crystals, no blood, no infection. Glucosamine powder, check. Three small meals a day instead of two, check. Move from dry Evo to fancy feast gravy lovers + 15 tiny pieces of dry Evo, check. Add 2-3 ounces of water to the food (3x a day) to make kind of a broth, check. Second litter box, check.
And as a bonus, both kitties (siblings) are looking great on the new diet! Bear went from 11 lbs 9 oz to 9 lbs 11 oz, and they are both much more active and affectionate.
WaterGirl
Since this is a pet open thread, I’d like to take a minute to say how thrilled I am with the Pet Plan pet insurance I got last february. My boy kitty ran up 201.18 of vet bills with his UTI problem.
My vet faxed the claim to Pet Plan on 12/3 and my check for 150.18 arrived in the mail on 12/10. ($50 deductible per medical problem per year). The claim consisted of faxing the medical records and copies of invoices and a 2-line spot for the vet to fill in the diagnosis. Very simple.
I spent hours last year researching pet insurance on line and I couldn’t be more pleased. Big thanks to whoever recommended Pet Plan on this blog last year!
AMD
Thanks everyone!
@stuckinred (3), I do sometimes call her Muhammed Ali. Especially when she swats me in the face.
@Wil (12) among other things you don’t seem to know about us hardcore feminists, some of us do have a sense of humor and are perfectly capable of lampooning the various stereotypes about us out there.
catpal
love this cat story. especially this –
koalaholik
My friend Sara has a beautiful long-hair kitty named Chaucer. NO ONE touches Chaucer except Sara. Chaucer has hissed at me from across the living room for simply saying HI to her. (I know it is not me, I have kitties and they love me) I was at Sara’s house last week end and Chaucer hissed at a TABLE LEG as she walked by it. Talk about a Diva!
asiangrrlMN
@AMD: Ali is gorgeous, and of course she should be worshiped like the goddess she is (and ditto on the poking fun at self type, from one hardcore feminist to another). May Ali’s tail twitch angrily for many moons to come.
@debit: Perfect. Better than what I was going to say.
ETA: My boys are pretty much laid-back. However, Raven can be high-strung.
Sister Inspired Revolver of Freedom
@jeffreyw: That’s on my wish list too!