Oh hello, brains! Why are you blown all over my wall?
Oh mah gah. These people are in charge of the House of Representatives. May Bieber have mercy on our souls.
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What is it about this guy that makes me want to punch him directly in the face?
Oh yeah, the fact that he’s a total fucking idiot. (And, frankly, he looks like a child molester. He’s got a white van, I bet.) I do love watching LOD reveal this numbnut for the numbnut that he is. And “Goodlatte”? What the hell kind of name is that for a Teabagger? You should be a goddamn liberal democrat from New Haven. Get some book learnin’, name your daughter Arugula, and then you’ll be one of us elitist enlightened ones, with our fancy mustard and penchant for elitist roughage.
Arugula Goodlatte. Now that sounds like the name of the next Ani DiFranco. She’ll be a lesbian and make Daddy Teabucks cry.
Oy vey.
It’s going to be one of those days, folks. I can feel it.
NobodySpecial
It’s been mostly one of those days for 30 years, with specific exceptions.
Morbo
Sounds like a Bond girl. The puns write themselves.
Trentrunner
Speaking of undercards, is E. D. Kain still blogging here? Was there an official announcement I missed?
TR
He looks like that character actor who played the PBS host in Dave Chappelle’s Clayton Bigsby skit.
Angry Black Lady
@TR: YES HE DOES. amazing.
stuckinred
Judging people on the basis of their physical appearance? tsk tsk
Angry Black Lady
@Trentrunner: i’m sure there’s a “sick burn” in here somewhere, but i’m not feeling it. bah.
vtr
Legislators interpreting the Constitution. Or judges and justices legislating from the bench. Or right defensive tackles playing shortstop.
West of the Cascades
ABL – I imagine you’ve got folks there locally in California who can help, but if you need someone to sponsor your admission to SCOTUS, I’d be happy to (I have one of them fancy certificates of admission rolled up in a drawer somewhere up here in Oregon).
Tonal Crow
I hope that this blog entry is snark, because judging people on appearance and/or name is like *this* close to racism. Also it burns with stupid. If I wanted to hear this kind of “analysis”, I could read the commentariat at Yahoo or Human Events.
Senyordave
He looks like that character actor who played the PBS host in Dave Chappelle’s Clayton Bigsby skit.
TR:
You nailed it! Clayton Bigsby would be perfect for the GOP, he’s everything they are looking for, they probably would run him for RNC chair.
BTW, I thought that guy was amazing in the skits he was in, he played it so straight and he was infinitely more professional than most of today’s “in-depth” reporters.
West of the Cascades
A propos of Goodlatte’s argument that we need to have all bills in Congress have a basis in the Constitution, I have long thought that we need more bills based on the power to grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal in Art. I Sec. 8 cl. 11.
Chris
At work, can’t watch video, but now I have to know. What’s he saying?
Jack
@Tonal Crow: John Boehner is orange and looks like a freaking alien to me, while Rush Limbaugh looks like an arrogant fat privileged fuck who has his and to hell with everyone else.
Does that make me a racist?
I’m tired of it being OK if you’re a right-winger to use whatever methods you want, up to and including racist remarks (see Barbour, Hailey, Governor of Mississippi), but if you have the least bit of melanin in your skin and you comment on the appearance of a complete moron then you’re a racist and stupid.
By the way, I’m not gifted with very much melanin (to my regret when I go to the beach), and I’m perfectly OK with what ABL said.
cyntax
Totally made me think of GIR from Invader Zim.
harlana
I am so glad these guys are wasting no time showing themselves out as the ass clowns they are so the dumbass mofos who elected them can see their tax dollars hard at work doing things like this and trying to repeal health insurance reform, which everybody knows is a complete waste of time, as opposed to focusing on job growth.
mds
@Tonal Crow:
I agree, despite the sentiment coming from a possibly-unattractive commenter with a silly nom de plume. Watch your step, Angry Black Lady, because you’re almost over the line into racial insensitivity against that ethnic group that look like child molesters through no fault of their own. Not to mention all those Caffeinated-Americans with names like “Goodlatte,” “Hotjava,” “Cupojoe,” and “Valdez.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return to watching the MSM ooh-and-aah over that orange-colored guy named Boehner.
Lee
There are a lot of people that have broken snark/sarcasm meters.
Poor Teabagger got hit right in the mouth with reality.
harlana
Nancy up now saying nice things about Boner, he’s crying again!! XD
Wonder how many times he’s gonna break down during this upcoming speech.
Curious, I never saw Nancy shed a single tear during her time as Speaker or at any time in her political career.
agrippa
amazing. Am I supposed to consider them to be responsible adults?
Trentrunner
Nope, no burn. Cole’s the main blogger; all the rest are the undercard, including you. Just describing, not insulting. :)
Now, where’s E. D. Kain?
keestadoll
@Angry Black Lady: The more you post, the more I smile. If having a Republican majority in the house means seeing your posts a lot more, then there is a silver lining. Keep up the good work!
cyntax
@harlana:
I think you’re crediting those mofos with a much better understanding of causality than they deserve, but we’ll see.
Tonal Crow
@Jack: I have no problem with observing that Boehner is “orange”, nor with your observation about Limbaugh, since both are based in fact.
On the other hand, I have a big problem with saying that someone “looks like a child molester”, since (1) It has no basis in fact, and is therefore stupid; (2) It’s basically defamation, not just of the person targetted, but also of people who look like her; (3) It’s directed at the person, not at her ideas; (4) It coarsens the debate for no good reason; and (5) It’s supported by the same sort of “reasoning” that supports racism.
El Cid
When the whole cynical “arugula” freakout was going on, I noted that the arugula-ingesting ‘elites’ included McDonalds in their salads, although you could make an exception that Real Amurkins don’t get salads there and they sell it just to keep the snotty latte-sipping eco-terrorists happy. Also, it’s sold at Wal-Mart.
harlana
Oh, and I can’t WAIT to hear about just exactly what the American people want. I’m all ears.
Um, also waiting to hear about how everybody that wants to repeal HCR is gonna give up their $ociali$tic health insurance n’ stuff.
ruemara
I’ve been watching the span because I want to track the filibuster reform procedure. Sweet merciful goddess, any more teapublican chatter and I will go postal. This is going to be 2 years of the health care battle summer. just fucktarded to the nth degree.
Comrade Kevin
@Jack:
I’ve always thought of him as being more like Baron Harkonnen.
harlana
Looking at Boehner makes me feel like I oughta adjust my teevee hue setting.
4jkb4ia
“We can disagree without being disagreeable.” Oooh! I think Boehner is trying to take this message away from Obama.
Obama is not the only one who is trying to take lessons from Reagan. My mom always used to say about Reagan, “I hated his policies, but I liked him”. She was not alone. Boehner could be going for the same kind of effect.
Tonal Crow
@harlana: Looking at Boehner makes me want to contribute to the ACLU.
4jkb4ia
According to the mighty powers of Google, Goodlatte is a good English surname related to Goodlad. The Hill says that you say his name GOOD-lot. Also, he is a Christian Scientist born in Holyoke, MA and a graduate of Bates College! That is a good liberal elitist place.
mds
@4jkb4ia:
Objection! Presumes facts not in evidence.
merrinc
@ruemara:
And that’s not even the worst of it. Which is why I was relieved when my 7th grader came home from social studies class and asked if we could put The West Wing in our Netflix queue. We’re up to episode 6 of season 1 and I’ve found it’s much better for my blood pressure than anything on MSNBC.
Oh, and I’ve started taking notes while watching House Hunters International. Because this country really is screwed.
freelancer (itouch)
@Tonal Crow:
American Carrot Lookalike Union?
Calouste
@West of the Cascades:
Ron Paul (who else) answers your call.
Suck It Up!
Funniest post this year. oh man.
Chris
@cyntax:
This. Whatever happens, conservatism will still be the perfect ideal, it just got mucked up because of liberals, poor people, minorities, immigrants and Muslims conspiring against them. Either that or another generation of conservatives will do to this one what this one did to Bush and claim that it wasn’t “really conservative” and we need to try harder.
God, they remind me so much of Marxists. You know, the whole “okay, so the last eleventy gajillion attempts didn’t work, but that’s because all those attempts weren’t done by real Marxists/conservaties, so give us another chance pretty please with a box of cherries on top because this time we swear it’ll work…”
West of the Cascades
@Calouste: Beyond awesome. Thanks! I guess I was foolish to imagine there was anything archaic enough in the Constitution that some teabagger wouldn’t try to resurrect.
MattF
@Chris
Victor Serge, ex-Leninist, was famous for asking: “Okay, the eggs are broken… so, where’s the omelet?”
Ben
Fun fact: Goodlatte owns a hybrid SUV. Another strike against his Real Americaness…
Tonal Crow
@Chris: “
MarxismConservatism cannot fail, it can only be failed.”licensed to kill time
@harlana:
So when’s Palin going to tell him to man up?
c u n d gulag
He looks like the kind of guy who, when he’s your neighbor, and find out that he got arrested and for what crime, you say to to other people, “Yeah, now that I think about it, he did look like the kind of guy who would keep pickled babies heads in the fridge, and when he would nosh on ladies fingers he might actually use fingers from real ladies, so I probably shouldn’t be surprised…”
It’s nice to see that there were no casualties when the RepubliKlan bozo’s poured out of their clown car and into their new seats in our Congress.
I wouldn’t want casualties. I want actual deaths.
Mumphrey (formerly Renfrew Squeevil (formerly Mumphrey Oddison Yamm (formerly Mumphrey O. Yamm (formerly Mumphrey))))
He’s a Republican. Of course he’s a child molester. They all are, I’m sure of it, at least the ones who aren’t in the closet. I’ve been convinced for a long time that Boehner’s a child molester. There’s something badly wrong with t hat guy; just look at his dead eyes.
rickstersherpa
About a month ago, when have the comments on this blog were either calling the President an arch-traitor for his tax deal with the Republicans or for lambasting our host as an Obamabot, I predicted that the outrages of the Tea party Congress would swiftly drive all of us together in opposition to them and support for the President. It has taken all of about 48 hours.
KG
Hahahahahahaha… other members of the House can help him read the Constitution? Even if you include titles and signatures you’re looking at maybe 8,000 words… if that takes more than 20 minutes, he’s a fucking idiot.
Marmot
ABL is angry.
Tom Levenson
I am soooo naming my next cat Arugula Goodlatte. Rocket for short, of course. ;)
Makewi
Yeah, reading the Constitution in the House of Representatives sure is outrageous. Only child molesters would do something like that.
SLAVERY!
cyntax
@Chris:
Hell, given what the banksters have gotten away with, I’m feeling pretty ready to give the Marxists another shot.
Alwhite
@Mumphrey (formerly Renfrew Squeevil (formerly Mumphrey Oddison Yamm (formerly Mumphrey O. Yamm (formerly Mumphrey)))):
Its not the eyes that are dead, it is what is just behind the eyes that has left the land of the living. Its the one thing that allows the Republicans to be all they can be.
Alwhite
@Alwhite:
Gee, I hope thats not racist nor nothing. Wouldn’t want to be insensitive to the Republican race.
Marmot
ABL, sure this reading of the Constitution is a stunt, and sure, this dude previously authored a bill that the SCOTUS shot down as unconstitutional.
But your post is all ad hominem.
I seem to recall that you’re a lawyer. Next time, it’d be grand if you’d swallow your anger for a minute and excoriate the idiot based on his or her words and argument.
Oh, and if you’d kindly direct us to a particularly fun part of a video — giving us the clock reading — and maybe transcribe a sentence or two, that would greatly enhance the quality of your posts.
Alwhite
@cyntax:
Yes, as we have heard a thousand times, communism is dead forever now. Meanwhile the masters of the universe are busy killing the other great economic theory of the 19th century, capitalism. Looks like we will be returning to the one true economic miracle, feudalism.
I so hope it will be accompanied by another dark ages.
Alwhite
@Marmot:
So, you’re new here then. Part of the joy of a good BJ is pure unadulterated snark. It is liberating. There are plenty of content rich posts here but sometimes you just have to excrete a little bile for health reasons.
Its not like the useless sacks of self-motive fungus have not earned it.
Frank:”I don’t have to take this abuse!”
Hawkeye:”But Frank, you invite the abuse it would be impolite of you not to accept it.”
Xecky Gilchrist
Wow, what a pearl-clutchfest this thread is.
soonergrunt
Either that, or the next Bond Girl.
ABL
@Tonal Crow: it’s not in the slightest way close to racism. it’s assholicism at best. render unto me a break.
some of y’alls’ snarkometers need recalibrating.
ABL
@harlana: she couldn’t have cried. she’s a dame; she would’ve been accused of being on her purriod or some shit. remember how much crap Hillary got when a half-tear plopped onto her cheek?
asiangrrlMN
This guy is an idiot. Larry asked him, “Which justice on the SCOTUS most reflects your version of the Constitution?” I said, “Scalia” immediately without even thinking about it. DUH. And, “Oh, the Constitution is right, but the way it was interpreted when I went before the Court and lost was wrong.” Jackass.
As for arugula–I tried it for the first time and hated it. I do like Frenchy-French sounding mustards, though, so am I in good stead with the liberal elites?
Tonal Crow
@ABL:
Tell me why not, because the reasoning underlying it’s just the same: using someone’s appearance to judge the content of her character. That you’re using a feature of her appearance other than skin color to make the judgement is a distinction without a difference.
Some of the so-called snark here needs improvement.
Marmot
@Alwhite:
Nope.
Nope. Take this idiot Tea Partier’s premise and run crazy with it. Really good snark is more than just ad hominem. That’s just lazy.
Alwhite
@ABL:
EXACTLY! If you are a woman or a Democrat (But, according to Republicans I repeat myself) crying is a sign of weakness that must not be permitted. Boner however is a real man and would only cry when the emotions so overcame him that it would be inhuman not to cry.
Also, both Hillary and Nancy are probably lesbians because they come on so strong. And absolute bitches because they want to be in charge.
Arclite
Classic. Had me in tears.
Yutsano
@ABL:
Yup. Ya done called it.
elf
I suspect part of their grande scheme is all about States Rights. And good luck with that..just how fragmented a country do they intend to propose ?
He mentioned how some states have higher minimum wage laws than currently on the fed books. I just don’t see how they think the population would not respond to each individual state regulating these type of things. Soon you will have “wars” between the states over which one offers the best benefits.
Alwhite
@Tonal Crow:
because child molester is not a race Q.E.D.
@Marmot:
I knew you have been around, that was snark. This is hardly the worst example of ‘lookism’ witnessed on this blog, there was a story attached.
Alwhite
@elf:
We already are having wars over which states can do the worst job & provide for the lowest taxes. And it is working out so well.
Makewi
@elf:
What a horrible thing for employees. Choices are for assholes, or Republicans (BIRM).
Tonal Crow
@elf: I think there are good things about states being able — within limits — to make law different from that in other states. For example, California’s leading the nation on limiting CO2 emissions. I’d hate to see California constrained to do exactly the same thing as Texas in this (or many other) areas. Also, when Congress goes off the rails, states can (to a limited extent) provide refuge by deprioritizing cooperation with the feds, such as in the War on Drugs. This isn’t (of course) to say that states are always right (append examples to slavery, Jim Crow, segregation…), but only that dividing power between the states and the federal government tends to produce better results than giving most (or all) of the power to a single national government.
‘Course, Republicans don’t care about this stuff at all beyond its use as rhetoric.
Tonal Crow
@Alwhite:
Your logic needs work.
Chris
@Alwhite:
Race to the bottom. What the hell’s it gotta take before people start trying to *raise* standards of living rather than lower them…?
maus
@Tonal Crow:
Your name sure sounds a lot like “Tone Troll”. 1) true 2,3,4) also true, but irrelevant seeing as it is not intended to be a constructive argument on its own “merits”. 5) What an incredibly inept analogy.
ed drone
@Tonal Crow:
You keep using that word, racism, and I’m not sure it means what you seem to think it means. It’s almost a kind of Godwin’s Law corollary; the reaction to this dork by folks here, based on his looks, may not be fair, may not be accurate, may not be helpful, but it sure as hell isn’t RACISM. It IS bias, but not all bias is racist bias. It is not racism, it is not sexism, it is not anti-semitism, to name three “isms” endemic to the body politic.
Let’s be accurate in language here. It’s bias, it’s stupid, and not helpful. It’s just not racism.
Ed
maus
@Tonal Crow:
It would be an appropriate comparison with phrenology. “Racism” is too loaded to be accurate. Racism isn’t just “lookism”, which is where it all falls flat and you look ridiculous.
Tonal Crow
@maus:
Racism (pertinent partial definition): using a person’s actual or perceived membership in a racial or ethnic group — usually determined by appearance — to (usually negatively) judge the content of her character. What ABL did: using appearance (unspecified facial features) to negatively judge the content of a person’s character.
It’s not exactly the same thing, but it’s close.
Tonal Crow
@ed drone: Read what I wrote. I did NOT say that ABL’s comment “is racism”. I said that it is close to racism, because it’s based upon similar reasoning (appearance = character).
Tonal Crow
@maus: Certainly racism encompasses a broader range of attitudes and actions than “lookism”, but both are supported by similar reasoning.
Angry Black Lady
@Trentrunner: ah! i see my name associated with the Dread Pirate Kain and I assume the worst. (I’m too new to understand the Kain hate.)
cheers!
asiangrrlMN
@Tonal Crow: Sorry, no. I don’t agree with your comment in general, but throwing the racism tag on it in any way shape or form is just wrong. Prejudice? Maybe. But racism is more about the systemic aspect of undermining whole races, so–no. The thinking is not the same behind saying someone looks like a child molester (and there is a profile as to what a basic child molester looks like) and saying someone is x, y, z based on his race.
maus
@Tonal Crow: “using a person’s actual or perceived membership in a racial or ethnic group—usually determined by appearance”
The “actual or perceived membership in a racial or ethnic group” is not the appearance. Your definition shows your analogy to be inept.
Again, phrenology determining “criminality” is more appropriate.
Angry Black Lady
@Tonal Crow: oh for christ’s sake. go outside or something.
racism isn’t just lookism. it’s about power.
i didn’t say he is a child molester. that would be a statement with no basis in fact. if i find a picture of a child molester that looks similar to goodlatte, would you be happy? no, i think not.
additionally, it sure as hell isn’t defamation. defamation is: goodlatte is a child molester.
if you don’t like my posts, you’re welcome to scroll on by.
@Marmot: the fun thing about being me is that i get to do what i want to do and write how i want and about what i want. the fun thing about being you is that you don’t have to read it.
Frank
Comrade Kevin @27 ~ Yes! I hadn’t thought of it, but I bet Limbaugh moves around via lifters! Long live Paul Atreides!
Tonal Crow, I very much agree with you that our dialogue is needlessly coarsened. It seems that simple disagreement is not good enough; we must obliterate our opponents utterly.
General Stuck
Republicans? They all look alike to me.
MTiffany
There’s a hard-working brain in your head and not in his?
Chuck Butcher
So I suppose that when a Democrat introduces legislation to repeal RICO, Patriot Act, or the humanity of corporations they’ll find an appropriate section to oppose from? Obama Care it their focus???
Chuck Butcher
@General Stuck:
My ears agree with part of that statement.
General Stuck
Very odd thread
AxelFoley
@harlana:
Exactly.
AxelFoley
@Mumphrey (formerly Renfrew Squeevil (formerly Mumphrey Oddison Yamm (formerly Mumphrey O. Yamm (formerly Mumphrey)))):
Dude, I just had to laugh at your user id, LOL.
AxelFoley
@Angry Black Lady:
Oh, snap! Did someone(s) just get told? Why, yes, I do believe so!
Jamie
Unfortunately it’s gonna be one of those years. I just watched Idiocracy and the similarities were chilling.
alwhite
@Tonal Crow:
Really? What are the racial characteristics of the child molester race?
jwalden91lx
Every time I see O’Donnell go in on a guy like that, I always think of this line from Mortal Kombat:
Flawless Victory!