Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Republicans: The threats are dire, but my tickets are non-refundable!

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

We still have time to mess this up!

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

Petty moves from a petty man.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

Hell hath no fury like a farmer bankrupted.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

Washington Post Catch and Kill, not noticeably better than the Enquirer’s.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Come on, man.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

People really shouldn’t expect the government to help after they watched the GOP drown it in a bathtub.

You are here: Home / Science & Technology / Energy Policy / Newt Gingrich Secures All Important “Barrens Chat” Vote with Key Chuck Norris Endorsement

Newt Gingrich Secures All Important “Barrens Chat” Vote with Key Chuck Norris Endorsement

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Was he this much of a clown in the 70’s (Chuck, not Newt):

For my wife, Gena, and I, we sincerely believe former Speaker Newt Gingrich is the answer to most of those questions and deserves our endorsement and vote.

We agree with our friend and governor of the great state of Texas, Rick Perry, when he suspended his campaign and endorsed Gingrich, that Newt “has the heart of a conservative reformer.” We believe Newt’s experience, leadership, knowledge, wisdom, faith and even humility to learn from his failures (personal and public) can return America to her glory days. And he is the best man left on the battlefield who is able to outwit, outplay and outlast Obama and his campaign machine.

I may have let my nerd show in the title, so my apologies.

Reader Interactions

51Comments

  2. 2.

    pragmatism

    will the creator of Survivor (TV, not the outstanding 80’s band)go after chuck for appropriating their slogan?

  3. 3.

    guachi

    Best thread title on BJ. You so win…

    Also, hope you are having fun with Star Wars MMO. I just downloaded it last week. Having loads of fun.

  5. 5.

    beltane

    The past few days have been surreal, like we are passing through the event horizon into the wingularity. I’ve never seen anything like this before.

  6. 6.

    Steve

    If anyone has seen the most recent WoW commercial starring Chuck Norris, the takeaway is that Chuck Norris looks incredibly old at this point. He could still beat you up, but I’m just saying, he could be Clint Eastwood’s dad.

  7. 7.

    Hungry Joe

    He was probably every bit as bad a guy in the ’70s, but only over time has he gotten in touch with his Inner Clown.

    I interviewed him and his brother Aaron during the shooting of “Top Dog” (newspaper feature story; I didn’t assign ’em, I just wrote ’em), and Chuck came off as pretty sharp … compared to Aaron.

  9. 9.

    MikeBoyScout

    Chuck Norris says Gnoot can “outlast Obama“.

    What does Chuck Norris know about Gnoot that Jackie Battley, Marianne Ginther Gingrich and Calista Bisek Gingrich don’t know?

    Gnoot, the Gnu Viagra!

  12. 12.

    General Stuck

    WoW, I just finished reading the Norris endorsement of Newt.

    Who’d a thunk it. Thoroughly disgraced, and for good reason, former Speaker of the House Gingrich is being hoisted to presnit hopeful by aging wingnut movie stars, amongst others.

    Newt it The Bottom of the Barrel candidate, and we should all have a moment of silence to mark his return from the assheap of hystery. It’s all win. Running against a three timing man whore with a dog whistle big as Texas. If he pulls it out and wins, we can all stop worrying, bend over and kiss our stupid asses goodbye. I hate complicated scenarios, and Newt brings the clear and present danger to the national screen.

  14. 14.

    Trooptrap Tripetrope

    True story: In the mid-1970s Chuck Norris gave a martial arts presentation at the junior high school I was attending. The only part I recall is that he got one skinny, quiet kid to assist in demonstrating how Chuck could not be physically moved from a certain stance. The kid, with no martial arts experience whatsoever, knocked Chuck off his feet on the first try.

  16. 16.

    Jesse

    Bruce Lee >>>* Chuck Norris.

    (*is incomparably greater than)

    Newt Gingrich is in no way qualified to be president. Of anything, really.

    That is all.

  18. 18.

    pragmatism

    an acquaintance played in a co-ed softball league in northern california that chuck’s wife was in. he said it was hard to hit with chuck sitting in the bleachers. in person, he’s short and leathery.

  19. 19.

    Danny

    Q: Has the media treated you fairly?
    Romney: “I can’t imagine anyone who ever thinks the stories being written about them are the way that they would write them themselves. I don’t have complaints about the media, the media is doing their job to get their message out. Of course people have different perspectives. You know, if you own a newspaper or a broadcast medium you have the right to put your own feelings and sentiments into what you broadcast, that’s just the way its received.

    Oh, Mitt. Also, Karl Marx was right.

  20. 20.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Please pass on my gratz to Brisketus on that all important elevation to the lofty heights of level 14.

    As for Garrosh, what can you say about a guy who acknowledges your charm bracelet gift with a grunt?

    The vital Barrens Chat endorsement. There is no more important constituency than a bunch of lowbie Hordies who no longer need to find that guy’s wife, because you can’t get to the Southern Barrens on the ground anymore from the Crossroads.

    This of course is no problem for 60+ toons with a flight license, of course.

  21. 21.

    Catsy

    Why does anyone still care what Chuck Norris thinks? He made shitty movies and he’s not a particularly great martial artist. The In-Soviet-Russia-style Chuck Norris inversion jokes got tiresome and played out years ago, and those are really the only reason anyone under the age of 21 even remembers his name–most of whom haven’t even seen one of his movies. And his judgment on political issues is just garden-variety teabagger lunacy.

    Seriously, who gives a shit? The only publicity he even gets anymore is from people who blog the political stupidity he craps out these days. Let him fade away into obscurity like every other washed-up has-been.

  24. 24.

    RalfW

    @Sasha:

    Well, if you’re as self important and stupid as Chuck Norris, Newt may appear to have humility.

    Heck.

    I can’t figure it out. But why even bother. It’s not like what Chuck Norris says should matter one f*king iota.

    Frankly, if Martin Sheen endorsed some Dem (for all I know, he has, not even bothering to google it), I wouldn’t care about that either. I mean, Sheen seems like a good guy, and I enjoyed West Wing immensely. But entertainers endorsing potential Preznits?

    Boring on the left of me, pointless to the right, here I am.

  26. 26.

    Villago Delenda Est

    Let’s be upfront about this: Newt is not Chuck’s first choice.

    That would be Huckabee.

    Newt is sloppy seconds, at best.

  27. 27.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    Noot and humility are like water and oil, they will never combine unless you use an emulsifier like alcohol.

    Drink up Noot, it might help!

  29. 29.

    ruemara

    I can’t tell you how often trade chat has swayed my choice of presnits faction leaders. I think I’ll go level my huntard.

  36. 36.

    Benjamin Franklin

    Chuck Norris is a superb actor, like Tom Selleck. We need more good actors in politics.

  37. 37.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Benjamin Franklin:

    One of the classic Hollywood stars, Errol Flynn, perhaps, was complimented by someone who called him a “great actor”, and he immediately corrected that someone.

    “I am not an actor. I am a movie star.”

  39. 39.

    Ella in New Mexico

    I may have let my nerd show in the title, so my apologies.

    Because I never once used pot, I’ve spent most of my life being clueless about references to the all the associated experiences of being high. For years, time after time in conversation and in written comments, I was on the outside– the clueless dork who didn’t get the joke. It was embarrassing and frustrating, and a whole other language I had to learn to decipher, but, dammit, I finally did.

    Nowadays, it’s frigging World of Warcraft. It’s just too much for this 50 year-old.

  40. 40.

    Svensker

    Well, at least we can assume that Chuck actually wrote the thing. Because if his publicist wrote it, his publicist needs to go to remedial grammar school. That “essay” made my eyeballs bleed.

  41. 41.

    pat

    I’m sure I’m not the first to say this of the newtster, but
    humility….???HAHAHAHAHA.

    That is absolutly the LAST thing I would think about Nasty Newt.

  42. 42.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Ella in New Mexico:

    The fact that you know that “Barrens Chat” is a WoW phenomenon indicates you’re not too far gone.

    You can play for free for the first 20 levels. Go for it!

  46. 46.

    brantl

    From the endless blathering of Chuck:

    Again, as Gov. Perry said during his “strategic retreat” (citing Gen. Sam Houston) from the GOP presidential race, “This mission is greater than any one man.”

    Certainly greater than The HairPerry, at any rate.

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