I would like to preface this post by stating I am completely sober, albeit a little smacked up on some delicious Assam CTC BOP from Upton Tea. We’ve had a very serious spring gully washer here, replete with wind, downpours, thunderboomers and beautiful lightning, so I made tea and sat on the porch and watched it.
Having said all that, I’m kind of curious if I am the only one who sings to my pets every chance I get. I ask this, because the girls wanted to go out to potty, but it was raining so hard I had to coax them out, and then when they came back in after doing their business in the rain (and, btw, not shitting on my floor), I gave them treats and caught myself singing “TREATS, THERE THEY IS, TREATS THERE THEY IS” to the tune of WHOOMP THERE IT IS while taunting them for a bit. I may have even danced a bit. And at that point, I remembered why I told people last week why I have duct tape over the camera on my macbook, because who knows what kind of awful shit hackers might see if my mic and camera go live without my knowledge.
Some other greatest hits from the Cole household: “Rosie, Rosie, Rosie, can’t you see, sometimes your barks just hypnotize me.”
“My blood runs cold, my Lily is the centerfold.”
Tragically, I get jiggy with it when I sing to my girls, and it terrifies me that no matter what song is in my head at the time, I can modify it to include the names of the piglets.
Sooooo…. Give me an a song you have adapted to sing to your pets. Because I know you do. Don’t lie.
peej
I don’t sing to my cats…it alarms them when I do.
Johannes
“Ninja Kitteh, little cat/
How I wonder where u at/
do you love me little Ninja cat
or,
Ethan T. Katt,
how about that?
who could not love
the Ethan T. Katt?
Mnemosyne
Only a crazy person sings to their pets. If my cats tell you that I sing “Bedtime for Kitties” to the tune of “Springtime for Hitler,” they’re liars.
ETA: And for some reason Keaton (and previously Boris) is fascinated when I whistle Mozart, and only Mozart. Not sure why.
schrodinger's cat
I sing fat bottomed girls to my kittehInji. Who is big and orange. Right now a little bit sick.
gbear
When I come in the house after work, I’m usually singing “There’s a cat for me, Somewhere, a cat for me…’ the verses get improvised from there.
lojasmo
I don’t do that, but I’m glad you do.
kc
To my 2 badass cats: “Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, Whatcha gonna do when they come for you . . .”
Yep.
Evvy
My favorite is this song for my dachshund, to the tune of Jesus Christ Superstar:
Stephen K. Wiener Dog
One tenth as wide as he is long
Dan
I sing to my dog – Can you sh** already? It’s f****** freezing out!
Well, Maybe not sing. More like yell.
Hungry Joe
I adapted this from the Pretenders’ “Stop Your Sobbing”:
It is time / for you to stop / all of your barking.
schrodinger's cat
When the cats don’t like the music I have on, they get Yoda ears.
lamh35
no pets. sorry.
APNewsBreak: Ex-wife says former SC Gov. Sanford trespassed; hearing set after his election
Wonder was this a particular nasty divorce, or was it amiable. I’d guess we’d have heard before this if there was some sort of “Jack Ryan-esque” revelation in the divorce docs, yes?
so wrong, but so true
gbear
@Mnemosyne: I’ve done that song as ‘Mealtime for kitties’. It’s such a catchy melody, it just bursts forth.
Comrade Mary
I have never sung to your pets, John. Honest.
lamh35
Carnacki
When my first was a newborn, I would sing to the tune of the NFL Films song of “What do you do with a drunken sailor?” these words:
What do you do with a grumpy baby?
What do you do with a grumpy baby?
What do you do with a grumpy baby?
Early in the morning
Bounce, bounce, bounce
The baby
Bounce, bounce, bounce
The baby
Early in the morning
Nicole
When I was riding horseback regularly I would frequently sing “Winter Wonderland” to the horse while we were out on the trail. No matter what the season. Most were kind enough to tolerate it. Those that didn’t- well, they say riding is the art of keeping the horse between you and the ground. Some days I was a better artist than other days.
geg6
I sing The Kinks “Lola” to Koda, substituting her name for poor Lola. And I’ll show my age by revealing that I sing “Otie, Otie, Otie, do you love me. Otie, Otie, Otie do you care? Otie, Otie are you thinking of me?”. It was a pop song by some tv star back in the early 70s who was always in Tiger Beat, I believe. Bobby Sherman maybe?
Redshift
I don’t think I sing to the bunnies, though I’d have to ask my wife to be sure. I talk to them a lot, and a bit of singsong calling, but not actual songs.
My mom has always sung to the dogs and cats; usually show tunes that included their names or something similar. The dogs seemed to enjoy it, the cats were mostly indifferent.
Beezus
(To the tune of BABY GOT BACK)
“I like cat butts and I cannot lie…”
(With a French accent)
“You’re my little fluffy one… my fluffy fluffy fluffy one!”
“You’re my baby, you’re my pet, fell in love on the night we met…”
(And from School House Rock, I replace ‘adverbs’ with kisses or scritches or belly rubs)
“Lolly, Lolly, Lolly get your kisses here; Lolly Lolly Lolly get your scritches here…”
(To the tune of Cat Stevens “Moonshadow” I sing this to my cat Boo)
“I’m being followed by a Booberry, BOOberry, Booberry…”
Roger Moore
The only thing I ever sing to my cat is “Soft Kitty”. Given the quality of my singing voice, even that is probably a bit much.
jl
@Comrade Mary:
” I have never sung to your pets, John. Honest. ”
I haven’t sung to them either, ever. I do think up devious mischief for Rosie and Tunch to accomplish from time to time. Not sure whether my thought waves travel far enough for it to any
gooddamage.Mr Stagger Lee
So what is the typical BJ SciFy fan’s verdict of the show Defiance?
Amir Khalid
If I sang to Bianca, I’m afraid she might get annoyed and scratch my shins.
Xecky Gilchrist
I sing to my dog all the time. It’s all homegrown tunes, mostly about food and how it’s time to go out and pee or how if he didn’t want to get stepped on he shouldn’t be underfoot.
Just Some Fuckhead
I hum instrumentals to my cat. Alley Cat is a favorite.
The prophet Nostradumbass
@Hungry Joe: that’s actually a Kinks song.
Josie
Duncan the corgi and Mitzi the mongrel are always so excited to wake up and go outside, I feel called upon to sing the Good Morning song:
Good Morning to you,
Good Morning to you,
We’re all in our places
With happy dog (originally sunshiny) faces
And this is the way
To start a new day.
Roger Moore
@Amir Khalid:
A likely excuse. As far as I can tell, there’s nothing that will keep a cat from scratching you if they please.
Highway Rob
The Road Goes Ever On and On from LOTR. And now you know my shame. (Would not share the amended lyrics at gunpoint.)
BruceFromOhio
“Darcy, you stupid defective goldfish,”
sung to the tune of “I Think I Love You” by the Partridge Family.
Darcy approves, especially when there is food involved.
dollared
Turbo the black-nosed weasel,
Had a very shiny nose,
and if you ever saw it,
you would even say it glows,
All of the other weasels used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Turbo play in any weasel games….
(And so forth. He’s a dog, but a weasel too.)
MattR
Whenever Ellie is at the kennel, I realize how much I talk to myself under the guise of talking to her.
Reminds me of this Patton Oswalt bit (though for him it is talking to himself in his car)
Meg
O Holy Night with all words replaced except for “O”.
Pinacacci
Good mornin’, from Singing in the Rain, to my parrots. Modified awfully.
“Good mornin’, good mornin’
How I love my beautiful birds
Good mornin’, good mooOoornin’
The most beautiful birds in the world…”
Then it is hello to each of them and the morning kiss-fest =]
lamh35
ok, the full story at TPM is even sadder for Sanford.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/ex-wife-accuses-ex-gov-sanford-of-trespassing.php
I said in the previous thread, that Sanford had balls when he asked Jenny to run his campaign and I wondered that Jenny didn’t attempt to cut off said balls, itentional or not, looks like Jenny may actually have Sanford balls in a vise if she wanted to do so.
muddy
@Beezus: My version is, I like dog butts and I cannot lie, I spank their butts, and make tails fly.
Also there are numerous verses of Rubber Ducky that I used to sing to the kid, there is a lot of dog bathing at this season, and they like that. The song, not the bath.
Amir Khalid
@lamh35:
When she threw him out, did she not change the locks?
TaMara (BHF)
My first cat loved Strauss and whenever I had it on the stereo, she’d roll around against the floor speakers. Purring.
And yes, whatever song is stuck in my head I usually adapted to them.
trollhattan
Kill the dally
Kill the dally
Kill the dally
Sung/yelled to Ride of the Valkyrie [Fudd voce] whenever our Dalmatian escapes and zooms around the neighborhood, doing her best Nelson Muntz “Ha hah!”
Also, too,
I see a little silhouette of a Dal
Gracie pooch
Gracie pooch
Do you eata your dinner?
You get the idea.
gbear
@geg6: It was Bobby Sherman. I hate you now.
kdaug
“Daisy”.
Sung to Athena (Teeny), not Murphy.
Think HAL.
“Tee-nee, tee-nee…”
She runs.
tmf (formerly tesslibrarian)
I sing the Batman theme to my boys, subbing their names for “Batman”. Weird, since I doubt I’ve ever seen an episode, but it’s fun when doing skritches and they’re all wound up.
I made up a song for my late G when she got sick at about a year old. It made her calm so I could administer meds, and then it made her purr for the next 15 years. I was a little concerned my vet would get the wrong idea, the night we set her free from her pain, since the song covered all the ways she was “funny lookin'”. It made her happy; that’s all that ever mattered.
Poopyman
Of course I sing to my cats, of which there are five extant and 4 passed, but I’m not posting the songs here, for they are sacred.
Poopy +2, trying not to apply for jobs while under the influence. Bad idea.
michelle
My ex wrote songs for each of our babies back in the day. He’s a musician working on a website of his music. Perhaps I should suggest he include those little songs.
kc
@lamh35:
Sanford is a creeper!
tmf (formerly tesslibrarian)
@kc: I might steal that one for my current beasties, brothers often up to no good, but, hey, they’re teenagers.
MikeJ
@geg6:
yup
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7PLcHnMNKE
I would ask my cat Schatzi if she’d like eine kleine katzenmusik, but it was just humming after that.
Keith G
I had a cat that I was traveling with by car (moving day). To sooth him on the trip, I sang to him the classic
C. C. Kitty, C. C. Kitty
How are you? How are you?
(Frère Jacques)
It worked, and since I am a constant singer, my new generation of kitties are quite used to my vocal talents. My neighbors…not so much.
OmerosPeanut
Do you realize just how much money you could make off advertising from youtube views of all these videos you’re denying us the pleasure of watching?
koalaholik
@kc: I sing that to my 12 year old boy kittie who still chases his tail and plays like a kitten.
trollhattan
@lamh35:
Still think she should pitch in for the Colbert Busch campaign. Now that’s entertainment.
raven
Raven died six years ago. He had the greatest howl and, when he let it go, Bohdi howled too. He never does it since we lost Raven except when I play a video of Raven howling. Here’s what that song is like.
geg6
@gbear:
Hell, I hate me for that.
28 Percent
Around here it’s “Hello, Holly! Well hello Holly” and then “she’s a Holly girl, in her Holly world.” Minnie the beagle gets Minnie the Poocher and Oh Minnie You’re so Fine!
Treats are always accompanied by a straight up rendition of Cole Porter’s “Love for Sale” because honesty.
mothra1
Get in your crate
Get in your crate
Don’t hestitate
It will be great
Just get in your crate
To the tune of “The Addams Family”
Tons of words to rhyme with crate like “Accept your fate” and “Don’t make me wait” – she runs to her crate like a maniac because she gets a treat when she goes inside.
kdaug
Ref.
MomSense
Ok I don’t sing to the pets so much but they do star in their own 007 films like From Labrador with love. For your paws only. Kennel Royale.
Hungry Joe
@The prophet Nostradumbass:
I know, but I like singing it a la Ms. Hynde.
BethanyAnne
My kitteh is Cheyenne. “Too Shy” by Kajagoogoo was a moral imperative. Plus, she is shy, and so I call her Shy Chey, anyways.
I still want to find someone who can do a good Kermit impression to sing “Hypnotize” but with “Piggy, Piggy, Piggy” :)
YellowJournalism
I randomly start singing all the time. My kids think I’m nuts. Now I know how my mother felt, since I got this habit from her.
gbear
@The prophet Nostradumbass: The Kinks have a song called Rosie Won’t You Please Come Home, but I don’t think John would want to sing it to his Rosie. Ray Davies wrote it for his sister who had moved to Australia.
maya
Singing to your dogs and getting “jiggy” with them?
Totally expected after allowing gay marriage.
Yutsano
I don’t necessarily sing to my cat. But I sing in the car a lot. In fact I know I get stared at.
Omnes Omnibus
I currently have a plant. I do not sing to it. Its name is Plant.
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus:
TNG?
Omnes Omnibus
@Baud: No, philodendron.
Baud
@Omnes Omnibus:
I thought you quoted Star Trek, Next Generation.
raven
@Omnes Omnibus: Did you see Plant tear up when Heart did Stairway?
StonyPillow
My neighbor’s dog Angel (who I walk, love and spoil):
Teen Angel, can you hear me?
Teen Angel, can you see me?
Are you somewhere up above
and am I still your own true love?
And she’s only eleven. She loves it anyway. And I embarrass myself doing this stone cold sober. Jeez, I’m soooo old.
Omnes Omnibus
@Baud: No, I have a plant named Plant to which I do not sing. I did not watch enough of TNG to get the reference.
seaboogie
When he was wee pup, I used to sing to my Seamus (to the tune of O Tannenbaum):
Oh biscuit-head, oh biscuit-head
You have a head so biscuit-y
It’s very nearly triscuit-y
Oh biscuit-head, oh biscuit-head
You are my little biscuit-head…
I sang it again to him on the day that he passed away, just after Thanksgiving. You can catch him in the BJ Pets 2013 calendar….he is the very beautiful pale golden in August and November pics.
Also an original Irish jig called “Piddling in the Ivy”.
Zoe the cat usually gets “The Name Game”.
Amir Khalid
20th Century Fox will — finally! — be renamed 21st Century Fox. I just hope Uncle Rupert doesn’t change the fanfare.
kdaug
@Carnacki:
This song?
I ain’t got kids, but I’m pretty sure that makes you a horrible parent.
DarcyPennell
“Daisy”:
“Janey, Janey, who is my baby? You!
You’re so lazy, what are we going to do?”
Baud
@Amir Khalid:
I’m going to register 22ndCenturyFox.com. In 87 years, they’ll come groveling and I’ll bleed them dry!
Omnes Omnibus
@raven: I have now.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Our mutt from years ago got this one:
“She’s so excited, she’s so excited,
She’s about to lose control, I think she likes it.”
Can’t remember the exact details, but I think it was watching her spin around in the kitchen while we were getting dinner ready for her.
raven
For some reason I can’t post this album for dogs link. Maybe if I leave the title out.
Laurel Canyon Animal Company put together a CD of the best of the songs created for dogs over the last 12 years plus some new canine inspired material
RoonieRoo
I sing to our dog Gregor to get him to go to bed.
Good night Greggie,
Good night Greggie,
Good night Greggie,
It’s time to go to bed.
I’ve sung that since he was 5 months old. Now that he is 5 years old, it’s like a magic spell. He listens and then crawls under the bed and goes to sleep.
kdaug
@Mr Stagger Lee:
Recorded, on the backlog. Wife liked it enough, though.
Your thoughts?
Seems an interesting media experiment (show/MMO), but we’ll see.
B. Lehmann
The old girls got:
“Puppy heads, Puppy heads
Friendly neighborhood puppy heads
Here they are, there they go
LOOKOUT, here come the puppy heads!”
New dogs get:
“Who Wants Dinner? Do you want dinner?”
You’d be surprised at what rhymes with dinner.
Maeve
All my dogz have had a song that I’d sing to them
Leo” This is the story of Leo the moocher – he was a red hot hootchie coocher (he was a moocher but the rest was ironic.)
Maeve = “Her looks are laughable, unphotographable, yet she’s my favorite work of art”
Guinness = “He’s just an excitable boy” – lets not go there
Raven = variations on Raven – bo – baggin – That’s Raven!
raven
@Carnacki:
Variation
What do you do with an airsick ARVN
What do you do with an airsick ARVN
What do you do with an airsick ARVN
Early in the mornin’, early in the mornin’
Throwin’ up his rice’n’water
Early in the mornin’
Way hay and up she rises
Filial’ up his helmet liner
hilzoy
The only songs I have not at some point sung to my pets are the songs I don’t know.
donnah
I don’t know where the tune came from, but I sing to my cat Fiona all of the time.
Fee fee Fiona, fee fee Fiona
Who’s a pretty girl? She’s my pretty girl.
And yes, the dog, the other cat, and Fiona all have about thirty different nicknames apiece.
muddy
@raven: My dogs didn’t like that howling song! They both got really worried and pressed together on the couch with sad faces.
raven
A husky listens to Squeaky Deaky.
gogol's wife
What a Louis boy, what a Pookie girl,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
What a Masha girl, what a Sasha girl,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.
All cats bright and beautiful,
All felines great and small,
All cats wise and wonderful,
The dear Lord made them all.
The Pook-pook-pookie Pookie,
The Louis, Louis-tunes,
The Masha and the Sasha,
He made their tiny paws.
trollhattan
@raven:
Wow, had not seen that before.
If someone had described it to me, I’d have said, “Yeah, right” but that was twenty kinds of awesome.
raven
@muddy: They must know that Raven was such a good boy.
gogol's wife
And for a week after the Oscars I sang, “I saw yer boobs” to them constantly.
raven
@trollhattan: It blew me away when I first saw it, the choir is unreal and Bonham’s son really tops it off.
Mike
I go for cheesy religious songs – and replace ‘Jesus’ with ‘Louis’, the name of my cat
Moe Gamble
To an old folk song I can’t remember the name of:
Mousies and birdies and fishies
They’re a no-good bunch
Mousies and birdies and fishies
They’re just good for lunch
Oh, the fishie’s in the bowl and the birdie’s in the cage and the mousies are under the rug
If I don’t catch a mousie tonight, I’m gonna have to eat a bug
Because I’m fed up to here with cat food
I tell you that food makes me weak
I’d rather dine on rack of rodent
After an appetizer with a beak — eak!
Mousies and birdies and fishies
Their kind are up to no good
Mousies and birdies and fishies
They’re bringin’ down the value of the neighborhood
Anne
I have about 13 different songs I sing to Sam, some with words changed to existing songs (the most obvious being “You are my Samshine, my only Samshine…)” and some “originals” that, if I’m lucky, will never be heard by human ears. Meanwhile, I swear the dog often rolls his eyes, and I can’t blame him!
Quaker in a Basement
Some years ago, I told a neighbor–who was a newspaper features writer–about the songs I would sing to my dog. She had a few more of her own. She wrote a tiny, tiny little item for the Saturday edition asking other readers to contribute the songs they sang to their own animals.
The morning the item ran, I went to my retail job. Just before opening, my manager was looking at the paper. Not knowing that I knew the reporter or that I had been the inspiration for her invitation, the manager pointed out the item and asked, “Can you believe this? What kind of idiot sings to a dog?”
Ed: The dog’s favorite song was, of course, “It’s Doggy Dinner Time” sung to the tune of the Howdy Doody theme.
muddy
@raven: Perhaps they are concerned they don’t measure up. They really did get quite worried over it.
raven
We could have a pet monument thread. Here’s Raven’s.
gogol's wife
@raven:
Yes, that was great.
raven
@muddy: Aw, they are all kindred spirits. It is funny how they react to other pups. We walk down a pretty wide street in the dark in the morning and Bohdi gets soooooo interested when there is a dog on the other side.
Kitty
To the tune of “Lollipop”
Honeypot, Honeypot
oh honey honey honey
Honeypot, Honeypot
oh honey honey honey
Honeypot, Honeypot
oh honey honey honey
and so on . . .
muddy
I don’t have any monuments, each animal has been cremated and has a nice box. They’re all in my bedroom, with photos. The plan is for them to be co-mingled with me when my time comes and scattered together.
Here’s a story about a couple of mine: https://balloon-juice.com/2012/03/11/early-morning-open-thread-true-companions/
Hillary Rettig
“We will, we will walk you.”
Hillary Rettig
Also (because my precious Orbit was a papillon, aka butterfly dog):
Dolly Parton’s Love is like a butterfly
and
The Non Piu Andrai aria from Marriage of Figaro which includes this line:
non piu andrai farfallone d’amorosa
“Don’t you worry little butterfly of love…”
raven
@muddy: I mixed my dad and his black lab Molly’s ashes when we buried him in the Phoenix National Veterans Cemetery.
Garbo
Bunny bunny, bunny-bunny munchkins
Bu-neh, bunny bunny munchkins
With the second line sung in rock star falsetto.
realbtl
Mine often get a few choruses of She’s just an excitable dog (Warren Z). They seem to approve.
Hillary Rettig
Oops and I forgot another Queen adaptation:
“I want the ball
I want the ball
I want the ball
And I want it now.”
pokeyblow
TV Eye.
Garbo
@muddy: OMG, that is my exact plan too! (I even snuck some of my mom’s ashes for the same purpose.)
Hillary Rettig
omg, and also the Beach Boys (I used to dance around with him in my arms singing this)
“Little snurfer, snurfer boy…”
OK, I think I’m done now.
raven
@muddy: Cool! Here’s mine
https://balloon-juice.com/2011/01/13/early-morning-open-thread-a-life-in-dogs/
Eric U.
I don’t remember singing to my dog, but I do often offer to kick him inna nuts in baby talk. Of course, I usually note that he doesn’t have any as well
Redshift
@Mr Stagger Lee:
I can’t say I loved it, but it was more complex than I expected from seeing the promos. I have a tendency to get into shows in the second season (because a lot of them take that long to hit their stride.) That means I’m mooching off people more devoted than me for them to survive that long, but hey, I only have so many hours to watch TV.
It was better than a lot of SyFy stuff, and I’d say it has potential.
NotMax
Some years ago a friend was curious about the sound, so found for him a free download of a ringtone of the noise made by the actual (not the toon) Tasmanian devil.
To this day, he tells the story of how, when it played, his nine cats freaked out like crazy, more so than in reaction to anything else before or since.
That ringtone became history on his phone very, very fast.
lamh35
Late in the thread, but since BJ always recommending tv programs. Please watch the PBS documentary by Ken Burns: The Central Park Five. It’s on now and will be on soon on West coast.
Central Park Five
gene108
Watching Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmare’s on BBC America, it’s a repeat. He’s trying to save Burger Kitchen in Los Angeles.
The family running it is nuts.
The only advantage of the rerun is I got to look up on line as to the fate of the restaurant and it closed, which isn’t surprising.
Kind of interesting watching a drama unfold and then using some google-fu and seeing how it ultimately ends.
ripstop
I realized this some time ago – we give our pets the affirmations we most want for ourselves. Soak it up!
Mr Stagger Lee
@raven: Now that is cool.
lojasmo
Wait. I guess if when you say “sing to” you mean “swear at” I do, a little bit.
condorcet runner up
our dogs are named after beatles songs, so they get modified lyrics …
“
AhIlookbark at all thelonelyother people …”Paul@predictablefunk
“Roxy Roxy Roo, who loves you?” To the tune of Scooby Doo, to a beautiful dog named Roxy.
“whoa, ho-ho, the sweetest Bean,” to a cat named Beanie.
“Hey, Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?” To a very confused cat named Joe, who, as far as I know, has never carried a gun.
Mr Stagger Lee
@Redshift: So far I think it is OK, I will hold judgement as the season progresses. I found out that Alphas will not be coming back, kind of bummed about that, true about most fare on SyFy another stupid reality show based in the South. Deep South Paranormal or some BS/. Jesus enough of these reality shows!
? Martin
Neither sing to my pets nor do funny voices. I do insult the dog in a upbeat voice, though. Best I can muster.
vickijean
Someone’s in the kitchen with Macy,
Someone’s in the kitchen, I know oh oh
Someone’s in the kitchen with Macy,
Eating all the good cat food.
El Caganer
Singing to your pets? Mr. Cole needs to read The Sparrow.
mai naem
I sing to the dogs and also too our late kat. It’s kind of embarrassing and I would not be caught dead doing this in public. I’ve sung Hey Mickey, Sugar Sugar, Beatles – Get Back, Simon and Garfunkels Cecilia, ZZ Top Legs(She’s got ticks!!!(when we went up north and my dogs picked up some ticks), and She’s A Beauty and Blondie’s One Way or Another for the late great Kat who was downright anti social and we had to chase her to do something to her. Also too, children’s rhymes. Why am I admitting to all this?
Carnacki
@kdaug: Oh so many other things make me that … :)
imonlylurking
Well, let’s see:
I sing the chorus to ‘Godzilla’ to Kamiko. My roommate puts ‘Kamiko’ into the Name Song and sings that to her.
Shadowcat gets the old Spiderman theme song.
Brownie doesn’t really have a song and Bob doesn’t really rhyme with anything.
They all get: I say, what about, breakfast for kitty-kats: in the morning, and as random songs occur to me the closest cat gets sung to.
Comrade Scrutinizer
@raven: Speaking of memorials, I noticed that, tucked away in the basement floor of the science building at Smith, there’s an exhibit case with a great picture of Joe, and a few posters of his last work. A nice remembrance.
SiubhanDuinne
I like your face and I like your nose.
I like your feet and I like your toes.
I like your neck and I like your purr.
I like your back and I like your fur.
I like your tummy and I like your tail
And I like the place where you used to be a male.
beltane
My dog likes when I sing “All You Need Is Love” to her. She is vaguely aware that “love” is something good, though not nearly as good as “treat” or “walk”.
I never sing to the cats. It embarrasses them.
imonlylurking
Oh, I forgot one. (Actually I’m forgetting more than 1-I’m always singing to animals.)
Sawyer didn’t learn his name for a really long time, and I got into the habit of singing the Dreidl song to him, only I would sing Sawyer instead of dreidl. At one point he thought his name was SawyerSawyerSawyer.
geg6
@lamh35:
I’m recording that. That’s one I’ve been waiting breathlessly for that one. Supposed to be excellent and really quite a study of racial panic.
I’ve been crazy busy (we’re up 18% in acceptances over last year). But I had my evaluation with my director today. Probably the best one I’ve ever gotten. I’m pretty proud of myself. The past year and a half have been very difficult professionally, what with all the controversy around the University as a whole and with having a highly publicized threat situation with a former student (with mental health issues) at my campus in particular. That we are pulling out of that is great and a huge relief. I have also seen convincing evidence that the University seems to actually understand how they need to change how they operate. And now my whole department’s hard work is paying off. Almost makes me feel like I might one day start to feel as good about the work we do as I did before the shit hit the fan and the rot at the top was exposed. Hopefully, the upcoming trials will end in justice for the victims and the rest of us can go back to work repairing the reputation of a great university.
Old Dan and Little Ann
My wife has more freakin’ nicknames and songs for our dog Yeller than I can even count. My personal one is inspired by Rio. “His name is Yelly and he dances on sand.”
Morzer
The cat threatened to sue for cruelty to lawyered-up animals if I sang to her again.
Some critters are just ungrateful moochers and looters.
Southern Beale
No, you are not. Every one of our pets — that’s 7 cats and 2 dogs — has a theme song at our house. Usually a play on their name of some kind.
We’re silly that way.
beltane
@Morzer: Cats are just generalized critics. Music critics, food critics, interior design critics-anything there is to criticize they will critique.
opie jeanne
I thought I was the only one who did this.
I’ve always used
‘You’re a rich cat and you’ve gone too far,
And you know it doesn’t matter anyway.
YOu can rely on the old man’s catnip, etc.”
Or I sing whatever I’ve just heard on the radio.
lamh35
@geg6: it pisses me off.
you have people to this day using Tawanna Brawley around Al Sharpton’s neck, but ya got reporters like like Bob Herbert, Pat BuKKKanan and Donald Trump (who took out a FULL PAGE AD for NYC to reinstate the death penalty just for these 5 kids!). It took over 10 years before BuKKKanan was off tv, and hell even after the birther crap Donald Trump is STILL on tv.
And yet, just a few weeks ago, I remember commenters STILL using the Tawanna Brawley shit against Al Sharpton.
pisses me off to no end.
oh and NYC still refuses to settle CP5 civil case
Redshift
@Mr Stagger Lee: It’s true; SyFy has become such a wasteland that I never look at it unless there’s something specific I intend to see. I actually only tuned into Defiance because Ms. Redshift wanted to give it a look; the promos reminded me way too much of that aggressively stupid “the electricity stopped working” post-apocalypse show. (My impression of that one is that network executives looked at Walking Dead and say “we want one of those!”) So expectations were low, and I was pleasantly surprised. (I actually liked it more than Ms. Redshift.)
After having a look at IMDB and seeing that major writers and producers on it are alumni of Farscape, Caprica, Reaper, etc., I’m a bit more hopeful.
As for the reality shows, the reason for them (and the bad monster movies) is that they’re cheap. The thing the cable utopians never could see is that 500 channels doesn’t drive TV production to create something for everyone, it just means that all those time slots that will never get a big audience have to be filled as cheaply as possible. In the early days of broadcast, it was game shows and wrestling, now it’s reality shows and cheesy movies.
Suzanne
Mine, to my cat Scout, when she needs to leave me alone whilst I am using the toilet: “SCOUT, SCOUT, GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU ARE THE CAT I CAN DO WITHOUT”.
Luna gets the Scooby-Doo theme song: “Luna Luna Loo, I love you”.
Zelda doesn’t really have a song. She has profanity instead.
? Martin
@Redshift:
Terra Nova, add aliens, subtract dinosaurs. Defiance.
At least, that’s pretty much how the pilots played out.
Race to the bottom. HBO is cleaning up by refusing to play the game.
But fuck do I love me some bad monster and disaster movies. But they have to be really bad – low budget, kinda campy. SyFy comes around my way now and then when they do disaster movie days. The rest of the time they’re just shit.
Toberdog
To the tune of Handel’s “For unto us”:
Wonderful Companion
The mighty Dog
The everlasting canine
The Pup of Peace.
MattR
@Martin:
HBO does have the advantage of not having a fixed number of time slots to fill with original programming. They can always choose to show another movie rather than airing some crappy original show.
kdaug
@Redshift:
I have to say – and I may be repeating myself here, because I’m old and senile – check out Orphan Black. BBC America, on after Dr. Who.
Only 3 episodes in, and really impressed with how quickly they’ve hit their stride.
Clones.
David Koch
She is so pretty.
'stina
I delurk to present you with:
For the departed Athena Cat
You say meow
I say meow
You say meow
and I saw meow meow meow
meaooooooow
You say meow and I say meow.
For my Fusilli puppy:
Don’t you want some tummy to rub?
Don’t you need some tummy to rub?
Wouldn’t you love tummy to rub?
You better find a tummy to rub, rub.
My Celosa gets Barkemian Rhapsody, which is essentially an extended tummy rub while we sing (taking turns at various parts) the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody to her. She especially loves it when my husband gets to the head banging section.
Celosa also gets an original composition that I wrote when she was a puppy:
She’s a tiny little puppy with a tiny little tummy.
She’s a tiny little puppy with a tiny little tummy.
She’s a tiny little puppy with a tiny little tummy.
She’s a tiny little puppy with a tiny little tummy.
She’s a tiny little puppy with a tiny little tummy.
She’s a tiny little puppy with a tiny little tummy.
Puppy puppy puppy tummy tummy tummy
Puppy puppy puppy tummy tummy tummy
Puppy puppy puppy tummy tummy tummy
Puppy puppy tummy tummy
Puppy puppy puppy tummy tummy tummy
My husband says that it’s not a bad song.
celiadexter
I sing to both my cats when I brush them each morning. It’s part of the spa treatment. Dexter usually goes first and most recently I’ve been treating him to Bob Wills’ “Rose of San Antone”, not for any particular reason except that I know and like the song since my husband plays in a Western swing band. Celia and I have been working on “Rie y Llora”, a song by her namesake, Celia Cruz. I’m learning “Lagrimas Negras” for her, since it’s a beautiful song as well as also Cuban. Unfortunately, my singing leaves a great deal to be desired, but the cats keep coming back for more.
Thymezone
Yes, every one of my many cats has had his or her own special song. Cats love to be sung to. You can just about hypnotize most cats by singing to them. Learn one or two simple songs and just repeat them over and over. It helps to include the cat’s name in the lyrics.
cmm
Joey, one of our 3 pups, gets “snuggle puppy” to the tune of “Rubber Duckie.” When I am in bed nd ready to sleep I sing that and she comes up the bed nd “assumes the position” laying on her back or side in the crook of my arm so I cn skritch her for a bit til I drift off. She hs become so used to this routine that if I don’t head towrds bed by 10 AM or so, she starts following me around making exaggerated sleepy eyes t me.
Beatrice
Really wish there was a way to “like” posts. I got a big kick out of a lot of these.
Here is my original composition for my cat Teddy:
“Give us a big Teddy kiss
Give us a big Teddy kiss
Teddy, Teddy, Teddy
Teddy, Teddy, Teddy
Teddy, Teddy, Teddy
Teddy, Teddy, Teddy
Give us a big Teddy kiss”
This can be repeated several times with these variations:
“Give us a big Teddy purr”
“Give us a big Teddy smile”
“Give us a big Teddy hug” etc.
Teddy also enjoys “Teddy Boy” and “I Will” from The Beatles. There are other cats and other songs but that’s probably enough for now.
KS in MA
Here’s a variation on singing to your pets:
“If you ask herders why they use a specific type of sound to elicit a response from a particular kind of animal, they will confirm that their animals give milk only to that sound and not to any other. Just as lullabies calm babies, repetitive melodies seem to relax animals and make them more likely to nurse. A closely related technology consists of songs sung to animals as they are being milked, also with the aim of relaxing the animal and making the milk flow more freely. An example is a yak-milking song sung by Tuvans living in Buyant District of western Mongolia, recorded in summer 2000.” (from “Where Rivers and Mountains Sing: Sound, Music, and Nomadism in Tuva and Beyond,” by T. Levin (Univ of Indiana Press, 2006.) A weird, interesting book!
Shortstop
I am purely charmed by all y’all’s pet songs. Even (perhaps especially) Suzanne’s bathroom ditty.
janeform
Here’s what I sing to my dog during walks:
He’s a good boy
He’s a good boy
He’s Ramsey.
Run run run
Run run run
Run run run
Good boy, good boy, Ramsey
Run run run etc.
AND
I’m on a walk
I’m on a walk!
Ramsey
Run run run
Run run run
Run run run
The run run run part was more apropos when he was younger and actually ran a lot.
(eta the second verse)
Shortstop
@Maeve: Our dog’s name is Clementine and I like to sing “My Funny Valentine” to her, switching “Clementine” for “valentine” and making the small change of “…when you open it to speak, do you bark?”
Sometimes we sing to the tune of Liz Phair’s “Whip Smart”: “I’m going to teach my dog to play poker and not wag her tail when she’s got a great hand.”
And when I’m feeling a little Whitmanesque, I sing the doggie electric.
Central Scrutinizer
@lamh35: These Boots were made for Stalkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do. Timberland of course.
Cris (without an H)
This little cat of mine
I’m gonna pet his spine
sfinny
Cat has to hear me sing in the shower so “Fuzzy butt, fuzzy butt, you have a fuzzy butt” most likely doesn’t rate.
Suzanne
@Shortstop: Awww, thanks. I adore that cat. I just wish she wasn’t quite so demanding of my attention while I’m poopin’. Like, can I get five minutes alone?! EVAR?!
Scamp Dog
Biscuit hasn’t inspired a lot of altered song lyrics, but I used to have a black lab mutt that I got from the Table Mountain animal shelter in Golden, CO. His song used the tune of The Girl From Ipanema:
Long and thin and black and furry,
the dog from table mountain goes scamping,
and as he’s scamping, the dog scamps at goes “oooowww”
[he would tease my wife’s dog all the time, sneaking up behind her and nipping her tail, then running in circles around her while she spun in place and barked at him. Now back to our regularly scheduled lyrics…]
Oh, but he tortures her daily!
Usually by pulling her tail-y!
This post has inspired me, so I think Miss Biscuit may finally get some songs of her own.
Mnemosyne
@Suzanne:
I would ask, “Why don’t you close the door?” but Keaton has figured out how to open the bathroom door all by himself, so trying to lock him out is useless.
Morzer
@beltane:
To be fair, when I sing in the shower I always regret not taking earplugs in with me.
Yutsano
@Morzer: There’s always a critic…
Kan I haz moar play wif new troll plz? I didn’t get much chance at work today.
Kitts
I have adapted so many songs to be about my cat. There’s the old-timey “you are my kitty, my only kitty….” there’s “wake me up, fluffybutt” (from Build Me Up Buttercup”, and now were bringing it into the new decade with “Heeeeey, fluffy lady! Op op op op oppan kitty style!” Next up is my cat-themed remake of Streets of Laredo. My friends are slightly worried about me.
The prophet Nostradumbass
Holy Shit. The more I see about “Men’s Rights Activists”, the more disgusting they become.
Louis
Falling James in the Tahoe mud
Stick around I tell you all a tale
How I fell in love with a gun street girl
Now I be dancing in a Birmingham jail
Dancing in a Birmingham jail.
R-Jud
“Come all without
Come all within
You’ve not seen nothing like the flighty Quinn“.
(She’s not mighty in the least.)
My husband sings a version of Queen’s theme for Flash Gordon at them: “CATS! Ah-ahhh! Saviors of the kittyverse!” And eventually bellows “Tully’s ALIIIIIIIVE!” in his best Brian Blessed impersonation.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
I used to sing Gumbie Cat to my much-missed Punkin. These days, any musical impulse is more likely to take the form of “Heyyyy silly kitty”, “orange kitty style”, “silly kitty style”, “wiggly kitty style”
Montarvillois
My dear 17-year old cat Elvis passed on last summer (he left the building). I sang to him from the King’s repertoire every chance I could.
James Hare
Juliet gets the Mickey Mouse Club song (J-U-L, I-E-T Juliet the cat!) Evita usually gets “Cecilia.”
Ohsuzanna
“You are my Sunshine”. And that’s all I’m going to say about it.
skyweaver
I am currently re-watching all seasons of West Wing, and every time the theme song comes on I sing at the top of my lungs to my lab/retriever mix named Athena. I can’t write down any lyrics because they change every time the show comes on and I’m watching, like 3 or 4 a day. Athena obligingly wags her tail as I do it, but really she’s more patiently waiting for me to finish so she can just go back to sleep.
I love pets – they give you a specific target to vent any pent-up silliness one has.
Hillary Rettig
Looks like Queen rules this thread.
Interrobang
I like to sing “Music, Music, Music” to my cat Gypsy, because she adores me so much. I don’t change the lyrics at all. I also follow Sister Rail Gun’s musical stylings and sing “Heeeey, sexy Georgie” or “Heeeey, handsome fellah, op op op op oppan Georgie style!” to my cat George.
I don’t recall having a specific song that I used to sing to my old cat Nero, but we did like to listen to “skritchin’ music” together, which was anything with the kind of beat that made for good skritches. :)
John PM
“For I’m going to Lousiana for to see my Hollyanna sign Holly-wolly doddle all the day…”
Jamey
“He’s so tiny. He’s so sweet. He’s got dirty, little feet. Punk Rock Cat. Punk Rock Cat.” Sung to the tune of “Punk Rock Girl,” by The Dead Milkmen.
My cat, Lloyd, had a ridge of fur on his back that went in all directions but the right one, thus, it looked like Richard Hell’s hair (from back in the day). The dirty feet part was a nod to commercial play…
S-Curve
My wife sings “Cookie Time” to the tune of “Lollipop” (not the Lil Wayne version): “Cookie Time, Cookie Time, Cook Cook-a Cookie Time.”
Debbie
I was able to obtain my Australian Shepherd Zoe because she was returned to the breeder for not being of uniform coloring. Stupid person! For 11 years I would always sing “You are so beautiful” to her when she sat on my lap. Last year she had a very aggressive cancer that decimated her poor little body quite quickly. I was singing the song to her through tears as she died. She was the smartest, most loving dog ever.
fergie
@Quaker in a Basement: I sang the same to the dogs, (now deceased). Now I sing to the cat. I sing: To howdy doody time
It’s puppy dinner time
It’s puppy dinner time
add nonsense words here to the rest of the tune.
My parents sang to the dogs, I have continued this.
I saw someone above sang O Holy Night. that is also on my parade of animal hits!
fergie
Ms. D. Ranged in AZ
I actually made up a song for my dog Abby (now deceased) that sounded sort of like the melody of “I’m just wild about Harry” and the lyrics started out with “It’s all about MEEEEE and not about you. Just about MEEEEE…..” You get the idea. I was more prone to baby talk and stupid nicknames like Abby Wabby or Maggie Waggy or Pooper Scoopers (since sh*tting is an all time fav with the canines).
Bob In Portland
I talk politics and current events with the dogs, as well as addressing questions of dog morality. I do occasionally sing songs modified to take in the dogs names and behavior, but I don’t sing directly to them.
Deb T
Are you sure that gully washer wasn’t a toad strangler? That’s what we are getting today.
EmmATX
I substitute my cat’s name, Mr. Biscuits, into whatever I’m singing at the moment. But the song I only sing to him is MC Hammer:
duh duh duh duh… duh-duh… duh-duh Tiny Biscuit!
GR
We have a bunny and I sing fractured songs to him all the time.
—–
Little bun little bun
don’t you know you’re the one
the cutest mini-lop there ever was
gonna spend all my money
on food and toys for the bunny
not for hugs not for kisses just because
—–
Good morning little bunny
good morning little bunny
I love to watch you hop, hop
you’re the cutest mini-lop, lop
You’re so cute, cute
sweet, sweet
the kind of bun I’d like to meet, yeah
won’t you come hop over to me?
—–
No no no, no no no-no-no-no,
no no no no, no no no no,
no-no no, no no no
No bunny can do the
HOP
like you do
No bunny can do the
BINKY
like you do
No bunny can do the
BEG FOR FOOD
like you do
No bunny, no bunny
No bunny, no bunny
No bunny but you
Anne E
When I take my cats to the vet they yowl loudly at regular intervals. I sing “I’m getting married in the morning” from “My Fair Lady” and I time it so that the high notes align with the yowls. Like “Ding dong the bells are gonna CHIME!” They definitely get into yowling in sync.