Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let there be snark.

This blog will pay for itself.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Just because you believe it, that doesn’t make it true.

Chutkan laughs. Lauro sits back down.

I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

Consistently wrong since 2002

In my day, never was longer.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

Everyone is in a bubble, but some bubbles model reality far better than others!

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

American History and Black History Cannot Be Separated

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Spilling the end game before they can coat it in frankl luntz-approved dogwhistles.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

T R E 4 5 O N

You are here: Home / Pet Blogging / Dog Blogging / Like John Wayne Toilet Paper

Like John Wayne Toilet Paper

by | 72 Comments

This post is in: 

The joke in the army was that we had John Wayne toilet paper as standard issue- rough and tough and won’t take shit off no one. Well, the other night we talked about Fergus, Unabogie’s 20 year old buddy who moved on. Tonight, he sends me an email that he came home with this straight up menace:

Ameliapond

Say hi to Amelia Pond. That little chick is rough and tough and ain’t taking shit off no one. You can just tell.

I love it when people lose a pet and get back in the saddle again. I have no idea what else you would do.

Reader Interactions

72Comments

  1. 1.

    Pogonip

    They still use John Wayne toilet paper at my installation, and it still won’t take no $hit off nobody.

  3. 3.

    Aji

    What an absolute doll. Love that fierce expression!

    But Cole, it’s really kinda unfair to compare such a wonderful little girl with that asshole in any way, shape, or form (John Wayne, that is).

    And since I missed the post about Fergus earlier, condolences to Unabogie and safe travels to Fergus on his journey. Four of ours who had to leave us in recent years are now no doubt serving as his escorts and showing him the ropes of Spirit Dog-hood.

  7. 7.

    LarryB

    Our dog got run over. Such a tragedy! But we had our new buddy by the next month. Symbiosis – it’s not just for lichen anymore.

  8. 8.

    Gin & Tonic

    We are facing the inevitable, as our old, diabetic, blind pooch really seems to be running on practically zero energy most days (4 1/2 years of diabetes isn’t good,) but I can’t imagine getting another within the same week. Not to denigrate the choices of others, but for some reason I can’t put a finger on it just doesn’t seem like it would feel right.

  11. 11.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Gin & Tonic: I don’t think there’s a soul here who would urge you to do something that doesn’t feel right for you. I’m happy that John got Steve within a few days of losing Tunch, and that Unibogie went right out and got himself all adopted by Amelia Pond after Fergus’ death. If you need more time, by all means take more time.

    And may your old, diabetic, blind pooch have a smooth transition when that day comes. It’s never easy, is it?

  12. 12.

    Suzanne

    Fabulous. I am the same way. When I lose one, the only thing that seems to give the pain meaning is to find another one to rescue. Congratulatory hugs to the Unabogies and their Amelia.

  15. 15.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    My condolences to Unabogie (I missed the earlier thread too). Congratulations on the new tormentor lovely pupster.

    G&T, I am sorry that you’re facing that tough day soon. After our beloved Django went to the dog park on another plane, we tried (and tried) to get Layla a new companion from the shelter. She made it clear, over multiple visits there, that she now wishes to be the princess, and does not need or want a court.

  16. 16.

    Anne Laurie

    @gogol’s wife: Fancy harness, because little dogs don’t always do well with collars that press on their tracheas.

    If it’s the model I’m thinking of, there’s a handle over her shoulders if you need to pick her up like a handbag…

  19. 19.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @NotMax:

    Never could stomach John Wayne.

    Me ether, mostly, although I make one exception — I love The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. One of my very favourite movies. But I really don’t like anything about the normal JW persona, and of course I detest his Bircher politics.

  26. 26.

    NotMax

    @SiubhanDuinne

    Stagecoach I can abide for a bit, I suppose (if had to), yet still cringe every time he opens his mouth.

    But that film sits alone right on the cusp between his walking advertisement for medicated talcum powder period and his jingoist drunk period.

  28. 28.

    Darkrose

    Condolences to Chez Unabogie.

    The new girl looks delightful, and somewhere, you know Fergie’s pleased that someone’s going to be taking care of his people.

    I was planning to wait after we lost Joxur, but his brother wouldn’t let me. He started acting out to the point where we couldn’t sleep for him banging on the closet doors and demanding constant attention. Almost as soon as we brought Alistair home, Ogdred settled down and–briefly–enjoyed being the bigger cat.

  29. 29.

    grishaxxx

    Pond! Brilliant! She certainly looks as if she has her namesake’s curiosity, tenacity, courage – who could ask for more?

    R.I.P. Fergus, who just might be a relative of mine. He was a handsome boy, for sure.

  30. 30.

    ruemara

    I have no love for the original Amelia Pond, but this one has a tough scamp nature I find myself attracted to. May you have many long happy years together.

  32. 32.

    Mary G

    Congrats to Unabogie, Mrs. Unabogie & Amelia! I barely made it a week, I felt so lonely, but the new ones don’t replace the old ones. It’s been two and a half years, but I still call the new kitty by the old kitty’s name when I’m really happy with her.

  33. 33.

    Unabogie

    I know she looks tough in this picture, but she’s really not! She’s just the sweetest girl. We seriously weren’t planning on taking one home today (well maybe a little) but they warned us that she’d be a little shy, and instead she bounded right into our laps and licked our faces. She was just so instantly happy. So we went home and brought back Maxwell to meet her. And they acted like an old married couple right out of the gate. After a couple of hours together, we decided she was coming home with us.

    They’re both sleeping next to us right now.

    No one can replace Old Man Fergus, but we’re happy to have a new addition.

    Post script and perhaps last words: She still hasn’t met the cats.

  35. 35.

    Unabogie

    @Gin & Tonic:

    I wasn’t expecting this, but Maxwell seemed really despondent. There was just something missing in the house, you know? She’s not a replacement, but we felt like she belonged with our little furry family.

  36. 36.

    MomSense

    Amelia Pond is a brilliant name! Can never replace Fergus but so glad you have made room in your heart for Amelia. I can tell she will be a true friend.

    ETA: Don’t get any ideas about Rory. He’s mine!!

  39. 39.

    Unabogie

    Holy crap. One of the cats just came out to meet her and just sniffed her head and walked away. Miss Amelia Pond didn’t even stir. The cat didn’t even hiss.

  40. 40.

    Alison

    That is one cute pupper.

    Okay – can some of you homeowners please explain to me the deal with granite counter tops? Like…other than looks, what is the obsession? Do they have some kind of super awesome mega kitchen power? I’m trying to figure out why, when people on House Hunters walk into a kitchen without granite counters, they look like a little kid who just found out the dog ran away, Santa isn’t real, and the doctor just called and said the tests show they’re allergic to chocolate.

  41. 41.

    Unabogie

    @Alison:

    The house just kind of came this way, but one nice thing about them is that unlike tiles, they’re really easy to clean up. And they’re hard, so you can cut things on them although that will kill your knives.

    Leave it to Balloon Juice to inspect our countertops!!!

  42. 42.

    MomSense

    @Alison:

    Ha! In my former life I had granite counter tops, stainless appliances that looked like you could put a steering wheel on them and take them for a spin around the block, and all the other bells and whistles. When I downsized a few years ago and had to redo the kitchen–I could not afford granite and all the rest. The kitchen is great anyway. You have to watch out for putting hot things on the counters but really the obsession with granite is silly. And not having stainless means a lot less cleaning of fingerprints.

  43. 43.

    Alison

    @Unabogie: LOL, I swear I didn’t mean it that way :P

    And okay, that makes sense. Still seems like some people put waaaaaaay more importance on them than they deserve.

  44. 44.

    Alison

    @MomSense: Ah the heat thing, yeah. But that also seems like…not *that* big of deal. And yeah, the stainless steel thing! Personally I feel like they make it look like a restaurant kitchen, not a homey one. A stainless steel fridge is okay, but when everything is that color it just looks laboratory-like.

  46. 46.

    Suzanne

    @Alison: I am actually very opposed to granite countertops because they are porous. They are sort of a go-to symbol for wealth, though. I advise my clients to go with quartz. It’s much more hygienic and looks just as good. Poured concrete is also porous, but is really beautiful. Stainless can look good but can dent and scratch.

    I have cotton candy pink plastic laminate circa 1988. We are saving up for a remodel.

  47. 47.

    ? Martin

    @Alison: Granite is attractive because it’s durable. It’s easy to clean, you can put a hot pot directly on it, and you can cut on it – knives won’t damage it. It can effectively last forever, so its a good long term investment. And if the market is into granite, then it adds value to the house.

    Personally, I don’t like the look of granite in the kitchen. Just not my thing. We put in soapstone, which I like better. I can’t cut on it, but it has better heat properties than granite and I think it looks much nicer.

    I think a lot of the granite/stainless comes from the people that want to have a kitchen that looks like it gets a lot of use, but who otherwise never use it. At least, thats my experience here.

  48. 48.

    MomSense

    @Alison:

    I am convinced that soon the in thing will be recreating the homey kitchens of some mythological past and people will be replacing the stainless with white, olive, apple, winesap, and cherry enamel appliances and will not miss the stainless at all.

    You can already see it happening with fabrics–the colors, the patterns like cherries from the 50s and the lozenge patterns of the 60s. The designers will find a modern way to do ruffles and put bold quilt like patterns out of linoleum on the floors.

  51. 51.

    piratedan

    to burnsie: Sorry the Cats got the best of you tonight, but obviously you guys are going to be good again as soon as Coach K decides that he needs to play someone at Center. Parker was showing very good moves with and away from the ball and Hood is likely just the right kind of presence that the team needs. Was surprised that your team didn’t go deeper on your bench.

  52. 52.

    ? Martin

    @Alison: I like the heat thing a lot. One thing I like about the soapstone is that it conducts heat quickly. You can put a pound of frozen butter on the counter and it’ll be soft within an hour. Put a pie out of the oven on there and it’ll cool twice as fast. Very handy.

  53. 53.

    Suzanne

    @Alison: It’s not solid quartz. It’s ground up and mixed with other colorants and concretes, then poured into a mold, then polished. DuPont sells a line of quartz as Zodiaq, but there are lots of manufacturers. All of the real stone products are porous and need to be sealed. Otherwise, one spilled glass of red wine and you’ve got a stain forever. And if you get, say, raw chicken on it, you can have bacteria get into the pores. But the quartz products are awesome. Similar to a solid surface product like Corian or Hausys, they seal really nicely on their own and don’t need to be coated ever.

  57. 57.

    NotMax

    @Suzanne

    House mother moved from in Sept. had finished knotty pine solid slab counters. Other than the warm patina that comes with natural aging, looked as fresh as they did when installed 100 years ago.

  59. 59.

    xenos

    Granite is installed to sell a house, not for using on a daily basis. People want a nice shiny surface they can have in a kitchen used to socialize in, not to cook in. My approach is to install formica to use and trash up, and to save the money until it is time to sell the property. At that time install whatever color of whatever surface seems to be trendy, and sell the damn place tout suite.

    Next month we are buying a house with no kitchen counters at all; just a giant custom-made stainless-steel covered island taking up the center 60% of the room. This house sat on the market for two years, I wonder why! My neo-barbarian children are going to wreck the place over the next decade, then in goes the new kitchen, and the profit could pay for a couple years of college for one of them. That is the plan, at least.

  60. 60.

    JoyceH

    My take on the stainless steel thing? This is from years of watching house hunter shows. I think it started out with people wanting ‘restaurant grade’ kitchens, with appliances that would be suitable for a restaurant – big refrigs and massive ranges etc – and they came in stainless steel. So people started wanting stainless steel, and the manufacturers started making it for the home-sized appliances. It’s just the same home-grade appliances with stainless cladding, and it costs megabucks more. When I went looking for a new refrig, I couldn’t believe the price increase for stainless, which I didn’t want anyway. Got my nice black refrigerator and am perfectly happy with it. I think stainless is on the way out, btw.

  62. 62.

    Jamie

    Such an endearing little monster. Love.

    My cat died recently. It is the usual thing, I can’t claim it is interesting. It was devastating. I’m a depressive person.

    My partner has a new cat. That is enough. When she purrs on me, I am content.

  63. 63.

    J R in WV

    We lost 2 cats and 2 dogs in about a year, the cats while Ms J R was in intensive care. After she was home and happy, we picked up a smallish dog at our vets, they had named her Emily. She was affectionate, white with black spots, jumped and ran, liked the surviving dog and cats.

    Unfortunately, we live way in the country, and Emily was 22 pounds of love with no paranoia or fear, hence no instinct to lay low at night. Being bright white, probably tough to do. anyway, a coyote got her, and then one of the 3 surviving cats – Roscoe, a grey tortie tom who I loved a lot.

    So very soon after Emily disappeared, I visited the local shelter, where they were nearing capacity and fearing a new need to euthanize perfectly healthy critters. We found Alice, a white lab mix, goofy, didn’t know what grass was, or butterflies, or the outdoors.

    I now suspect she was kept in a kennel/fenced pen/crate ALL the time and not educated or loved. Why do these people get pets?

    She’s about 55 lbs, and quite paranoid about the out-of-doors at night. She and Happy, our golden/lab mix get along like sisters or cousins or something. She needed a place like ours, with room to zoom around, and neighborhood dogs that also like zooming beside another dog.

    Your new puppeh is beautiful, and I’m happy she found you! Or vice versa, whatever.

  64. 64.

    shelly

    Yay. New dog having a new permanent home always good news.
    ***********
    As to adopting after your loss? Everybody’s different. Some people feel and really mean it ‘Can never get another dog again.’ And it takes years till they can.
    Myself, I lasted a month after losing my loving Clemmie. I just couldn’t stand it. Started haunting the shelters and found wonderful Kate. So glad I did. Somebody else would have snapped her up any minute, I’m sure.

  65. 65.

    Susanne

    I believe you when you say she’s a sweetie, but honest to God, she looks like she should be riding a Harley and drinking tequila. Congrats and good luck to all of you.

  66. 66.

    dexwood

    @Unabogie: Good for you.Amelia will soon realize how lucky she is. After losing two fantastic elderly dogs six months apart, I couldn’t stand the hole in my heart, the hole in our house. Five weeks later, I brought home a great dog who, really, adopted me.

  68. 68.

    fergie

    Saying “Come Along Pond” would make me smile every time I say it! (and that would be all the time). I lost my family of PONS (Polski Owczarek Nizinny/ Polish Lowland Sheepdogs) all in one year. 4 deaths, and I had to be at work as if nothing had happened! (I can’t even begin to say how angry and resentful I am about that, but to my boss they were just dogs, and the work had deadlines that couldn’t be moved)

    Good on you mates for finding your Pond!
    fergie

  69. 69.

    Kristine

    @JoyceH:

    I think stainless is on the way out, btw.

    God, I hope so. Although the next new thing may be built-in appliances faced to match the cupboards. I was watching a House Hunters ep in NYC, and the buyers turned their noses up at stainless steel. They wanted built-ins.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks