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You are here: Home / Food & Recipes / Food / Guacamole (slightly updated)

Guacamole (slightly updated)

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A while back in 2014 Eric Loomis at LGF posted an image of a newspaper article about Boris Karloff and his guacamole recipe.* The other night I said in comments that I’d post it, and since Betty C is looking for stuff to bring to her shindig tomorrow, here it is:

Karlof's_Guac_Recipe

Consider this a not depressing, not very serious post to alleviate the blog doldrums so many of you are emoting about in the comments threads.

* Edited to update the hat tip!

Reader Interactions

114Comments

  11. 11.

    Mary G

    That looks like it was clipped from the old LA Times. I threw away a grocery bag full of those when my mom died. They had a good food section in the old days.

  14. 14.

    Schlemazel

    @redshirt:
    I assume its for the acidity, some folks put a little vinegar in their quac. I don’t but there are those that do.

    BTW, are we still tossed into the void if we dare put 3 links, even comments, into a comment?

  15. 15.

    NotMax

    No need to peel the avocados when ripe. Remove the seed, pick up a half by the skin and squeeze the pulp into a bowl.

    Alternatively, put a wire rack on top of the bowl, place the avocado half skin side up on the rack and smush it down.

  16. 16.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: I thought we were dealing with fictional characters. I dated an artist that whenever we’d be ordering drinks, once the order was in, would belt out “liquor? I don’t even know her.” And then giggle. Not sure that’s important in this discussion, but its all I’ve got.

  26. 26.

    redshirt

    For my extra special guac I will roast the onions and hot peppers first. The smoky flavor really “kicks it up a notch”, as they used to say.

  27. 27.

    Schlemazel

    @redshirt:
    Yup, just add the extra citrus. It probably is not as ‘sophisticated’ to Mr. Karloff’s version.

    Also, Poor Henry Bemis. ‘All the time in the world’ has become a curse.

  29. 29.

    Adam L Silverman

    @efgoldman: Is that an open carry or concealed carry onion? If open carry is it in a retention holster? Public safety is always important.

  30. 30.

    The Other Bob

    I like it simple:

    Three key ingredients:
    onion, kosher salt, lime juice

    I also add:
    a bit of tomato and cilantro

    Don’t over mush the avocado. Mix right before serving.

  31. 31.

    redshirt

    Guacamole question: Does anyone else find guac tastes remarkably better after a period of refrigeration? I’m sure I’m espousing some horrible taboo, but I sure think so.

  33. 33.

    PurpleGirl

    Many years ago my mother told me that couplet from Nash but without saying who wrote it. Don’t know where she learned it, she wasn’t a reader.

  34. 34.

    Schlemazel

    @Adam L Silverman:
    It indicates you are in a really high-class dive, the kind only the most high falootin’ derelicts frequent.

    @redshirt:
    I like to use smoke chiplotles but never added roasted onions, bet thats good.

  38. 38.

    Steeplejack

    @Schlemazel:

    Three links have always been okay, as far as I know. Lately people have been thrown into the void for “naked” links, which FYWP currently doesn’t like, or until recently didn’t.

  39. 39.

    redshirt

    @Schlemazel: It’s extra work, but well worth it.

    Also, in the same step if you’ve chopped enough, you can roast tomatoes and then throw the roasted tomatoes, onions, and hot peppers into a blender for a wicked good thin salsa (or whatever it’s called).

  43. 43.

    Schlemazel

    @NotMax:
    Yeah, good thing it was still just a 30 minute show at the time.

    I noticed Henry mentioned smoking in the episode. I am surprised now at how often they worked that habit into the show. It started with the host having a constant heater going. That did not work out so well for him. Murdered by his sponsor.

  44. 44.

    NotMax

    @Schlemazel

    Sign seen many, many moons ago at the White Beauty Inn* in the Poconos: YCHJCYAQFTJ 25¢.

    Friend asked the bartender what the sign meant. Bartender extended his hand, waiting for coin.

    Once paid, he said “You Curiosity Has Just Cost You A Quarter For The Jukebox.”

    *No, not that kind of place. The name of the hamlet is White Beauty.

  46. 46.

    Adam L Silverman

    @redshirt: yep, I also think you’re supposed to spritz the top with lemon or lime juice before covering to keep it from turning brown.

  47. 47.

    PurpleGirl

    @efgoldman: I watched those TV shows, my mother didn’t watched TV with me at the time. Only thing I can think of is from her first husband who was much more educated than she was.

  48. 48.

    redshirt

    @Schlemazel: I just finished “Man in the High Castle” and as such a period piece would demand, everyone’s smoking, all the time. A doctor offers smokes to a patient for example. Ash trays everywhere.

    I lived in that world for a bit, but I’m having difficulty remembering how disgusting it was for real. Can an Elder tell me a tale?

  49. 49.

    Cacti

    Skip the tomatoes. Always use fresh, never canned chilis. Sherry in guac? WTF? And lime juice, not lemon.

    Also agree that it needs a clove of garlic.

  51. 51.

    Suzanne

    Crappy recipe. There’s no peas in it.

    Kidding, kidding. Peas in guac is juuuuust this side of a war crime.

    The AZ Department of Transportation has these digital signs over the freeways that are constantly updated. They flash the time to get from the sign to a given destination, warn of conditions and wrecks, and have safety messages. So usually the anti-drunk driving message reads “DRIVE HAMMERED GET NAILED”. However, a few weeks ago, some clown at ADOT changed it to “DRINKING AND DRIVING GO TOGETHER LIKE PEAS AND GUAC”.

    Two weeks ago, the message was “AGGRESSIVE DRIVING IS THE PATH TO THE DARK SIDE”. LOL.

  53. 53.

    Cacti

    @Adam L Silverman:

    yep, I also think you’re supposed to spritz the top with lemon or lime juice before covering to keep it from turning brown.

    Lime juice. Never lemon. And you’re right that the citrus prevents it from oxidizing.

  59. 59.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @redshirt: When I was in grade school in Georgia back in olden times, we went to visit a dairy on a field trip. Part of the visit was to sit around a big table in something like a company conference room. I was bored and decided to look at an ash tray that was on the table. It was filled with ashes and butts. I was glancing at the little flakes of ash dancing around a little when a hint of a breeze would disturb them. I pulled the ashtray close to look at it more carefully and gently blew on it… and got a face full of nasty ash.

    :-(

    Smoking killed my father’s mother far too early (lung cancer). She smoked unfiltered menthol cigarettes… :-(

    One of the greatest things this country ever did was to stop glorifying smoking. It took far, far too long.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  60. 60.

    Cacti

    Also, the key to good guac is ripe avocados.

    To test for ripeness:

    Press on an avocado skin with a normal amount of finger pressure. If it gives a bit, it’s ripe. If it doesn’t budge, find a new one. If it gives too easily, it’s overripe.

  64. 64.

    MomSense

    I’m not so sure about this guac recipe. For creamy guac I add salt, garlic, red chili peppers, cilantro, fresh lime juice, and a dash of cumin to ripe avocados.

    For chunky guac I add chopped tomatoes and onions to that mixture.

  66. 66.

    Schlemazel

    @redshirt:
    People put cigarettes out at parties – regular tobacco ones! Ashtrays were everywhere, heck we made ashtrays in shop as gifts for our dads. (my dad never smoked in the house, he only smoked cigars and I don’t remember seeing him do it. That was very odd for the time). I was never much of a smoker but remember work conference where the smoke hung in the room like a cloud and many of the engineers desks had burn marks from guys setting one down on the edge & then forgetting about it.

    It really is hard to imagine now

  70. 70.

    I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet

    @PurpleGirl: Sounds reasonable to me.

    My mother’s father and his sister lived in an ~ 1870s house in an old town in Ohio. Something like 10 foot ceilings with transom windows. In the kitchen, she had paper towels clothes-pinned over the kitchen curtains to try to catch the tar and nicotine from their cigarettes – they were very heavy smokers. The walls and most everything fixed developed a yellow-brown tint over the years…

    :-(

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  71. 71.

    redshirt

    @Schlemazel: Maybe not! Somehow I read that during one of the Olsen’s twins marriage to a French financier the party featured copious amounts of cigarettes for guests to smoke.

    Can you imagine eating in a restaurant with smoking now? It’s a pretty remarkable shift in consciousness in what seems a pretty fast period.

  72. 72.

    Suzanne

    @redshirt: An article in the NYT espoused the greatness of peas in guac earlier this year. Social media, in its infinite wisdom, responded in outrage.

    I don’t know anyone who’s tried it. It sounds fucking vile.

  73. 73.

    redshirt

    @I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet: I got one “heirloom” from my father’s parents after they died and the house was sold – for my entire life they had a large wooden spoon and fork hung on their wall. As a kid it always fascinated me because I imagined these were some giant’s utensils. When I took them off the wall, there was a perfect outline of the fork and spoon, painted by 40 years of smoking.

  74. 74.

    PurpleGirl

    @efgoldman: I had one professor in college — Professor Cushman, for Constitutional Law, who wouldn’t let people smoke in class. Only one I remember saying no smoking in class.

  76. 76.

    Schlemazel

    @I’mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet:
    My grandmothers brother lived with us when I was a kid. He smoked in his room all the time. after 12-12 years of that he moved out & we cleaned his room. I washed the walls with a tri-sodium phosphate and water. The water was an ugly green/brown. I had to wash the walls 4 times and even the last time the waster was still disgusting.

    There used to be a toothpaste commercial where a guy took a drag on a cigarette and blew the smoke through a handkerchief. The showed the stain & said “imagine what this is doing to your teeth!” All I could think was “Teeth, hell! Think what it is doing to your lungs.

  78. 78.

    redshirt

    We could still smoke in the main dining hall when I got to college, but not when I left, which occasioned some half hearted protests but nothing much.

  79. 79.

    Adam L Silverman

    @divF: Yep, its good, but I prefer the stuff at El Paragua in Espanol. In fact its my favorite restaurant for New Mexican cuisine in the state. It is always excellent, whereas a lot of the places in Santa Fe, Taos, and Rancho de Chimayo are streaky. Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re meh. Hatchas in Mora is decent, provided you’re willing to brave Mora. And Charlie’s Spic and Span (originally just the Spic and Span) in Las Vegas is always good. Charlie’s done a great job since he bought the place twenty some odd years ago.

  80. 80.

    redshirt

    @divF: That’s why I asked about refrigeration. I’ve had guac made right at the table, and it was good. But I think it would be even better with just a few hours of chilling and then warming back to room temp.

  83. 83.

    redshirt

    @efgoldman: I got my shirt burned at Fenway by the guy smoking behind me. By accident, he claimed. Since he was hammered with 3 hammered friends, I let it go.

    I wonder how more prevalent fires were during the height of the smoking era. It must be substantial.

  84. 84.

    Schlemazel

    @efgoldman:
    Saw Bob Seegar years ago in a huge arena & the smoke was so thick it was almost a fog . . . but that might not have been tobacco smoke.

  86. 86.

    Schlemazel

    @redshirt:
    If you ever need to remodel & are a smoker just leave on in the couch cushion. It was fairly common even in the 80’s when I was a firefighter. If you are not a smoker have a party, invite friends who smoke & then sneak one of theirs for after they all leave.

    At a Twins game with the kids one time & 2 old-timers dumped an entire thermos of screwdrivers down the back of some guy. He was really unhappy but didn’t do anything about it.

  87. 87.

    Suzanne

    @redshirt: It was a lot. And to this day, there are shit-tons of not-very-nice chemical flame retardants all over interior finish materials because they are still required by law and code.

  88. 88.

    redshirt

    @Schlemazel: I feel like sporting events used to be a lot more dangerous than they are now. Maybe that’s because of ticket prices.

    I went to a Patriots game in the early 80’s and it felt like Mad Max. No rules at all.

    Going to a Pats game today feels like entering a maximum security prison and if you even look at someone wrong, BAM! Season tickets are gone.

  90. 90.

    divF

    @Adam L Silverman:
    In the 1990’s I had a substantial collaboration with some folks at Los Alamos, to the point I used to have nightmares about boarding in groups of 30 on Southwest. Now I only get there occasionally, so I’m a little out of touch with the restaurants. At that time, Rancho de Chimayo was consistently good for carne adovada and sopapillas – I’d try to get there at least once per trip.

    The other thing that Chimayo is famous for are its weavers, who come from two families, the Trujillos and the Ortegas. We once bought a rug from a member of the Trujillo family – we ordered it, and it arrived in the mail a couple of months later. It was woven on a huge loom set up in the living room of the house. Both the loom and Mr. Trujillo looked to be about 80 years old, and both were still going strong.

  91. 91.

    LauraPDX

    Boris Karloff was my high school best friend’s step-grandfather. I was invited once to a party at her home that he would be attending, but I had something else going on that night and couldn’t make it. I have no idea if guacamole was served or not, but I heard afterwards that it was quite a party.

  92. 92.

    Suzanne

    There used to be this paint color everywhere called Navajo White, and it was the color of white paint that had been in a tobacco-smoky room. Tooooons of buildings and interiors were painted that color so that you wouldn’t notice the grossness. Getcher walls pre-soiled.

  93. 93.

    Schlemazel

    @redshirt:
    Took the kids to a Vikings game in the late 80s & it was a drunken debacle. I was glad the kids were bored by the game because I thought it was dangerous & never wanted to be part of it again. What I hear from people who go& what I see in crowd shots of NFL games it looks the same to me now.

  94. 94.

    Adam L Silverman

    @divF: We have several, at least six, Ortega rugs. The Ortegas are great folks. About 6 months before my Dad died he bought one of their woven “car” coats. He only got to wear it twice before he died. My Mom took it in and asked if they could, perhaps, do something with it that would fit her. They looked it over, decided they could put it back on the rack, took it back and told her to pick out whatever she wanted within the price of Dad’s coat. She had them do a woman’s vest for her. Class acts those folks. And I’ve heard very good things about the Trujillos as well.

    My Dad, who was from Denver, did his masters in the early 60s at Highland’s Psych program. He was adopted by one of the local families in Las Vegas. So when he was looking to build a retirement home in the mountains decided to get property in Pendaries about 20 miles outside of Las Vegas and across the valley from Mora. My folks built a beautiful log house. At the time I was finishing my doctorate, starting my post-doc, so Dad and I had the same vacations. Since he was on dialysis he couldn’t go out there alone – the dialysis center in Las Vegas was too far a drive for him to make after treatment. So I’d go out with him in the Summer and Winter. Mom would join us for part of each. Did this for about three years before he died. Then, I was the only one who used the place before I left academia for what I do now with the military. Mom, smartly, sold the place in 2008 as she wouldn’t go out alone – reminded her too much of Dad.

    Anyhow, we found that El Paragua in Espanol was so much better an so consistently better than it replaced Ranch de Chimayo for us. Since I liked to hike Bandolier, we’d hit it on the way back. We’d go through Espanol, then cut across past Chimayo, then over to Panderies. Basically the back way to Santa Fe. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

  95. 95.

    redshirt

    @Schlemazel: I can’t speak for any other stadium, but Patriots security is formidable. I’m literally afraid of accidentally bumping into someone because of the scare stories I’ve heard.

    Here’s a taste: Say I buy the 4 tickets of a season ticket holder for some stinker of a game, and one of us 4 gets kicked out of the game for some reason. Bam! The actual season ticket holder loses their season tickets.

    Now, in the parking lot, well, tailgating is tailgating. So gross.

  97. 97.

    redshirt

    @efgoldman: I was lucky enough to go to a good amount of Pats games from 2007- 2011 and I now find the entire experience of going to a game very, very low on my list of things to do in the future. Unless it’s some kind of luxury box. The security, the crazy prices, the traffic, the cold, the poor views, the bathrooms…. the entire experience is not very fun. Not anymore at least.

  98. 98.

    Adam L Silverman

    @divF: Yes and no. We were part timers for years. I’ve been back once since the house was sold. The Army sent me to the applied anthropology professional meeting in Santa Fe in 2009. And I made sure I made a trip to Espanol to eat at El Paragua!

    Their beef tips simmered in green chiles are the house specialty. I highly recommend them.

  100. 100.

    redshirt

    @Adam L Silverman: I recall with shock my first bowl of New Mexican “chili”.

    Mostly green.

    I spent the poorest part of my life living on couches in ALBQ; good times in retrospect. Pretty harsh in real time. I somehow fell into a social circle of Apaches and that was pretty weird.

  101. 101.

    Adam L Silverman

    @redshirt: My Dad was close with a number of the Puebloan students. Many of them artists. We have several pots that were done in the early 60s that would command who knows what now because of who the artists grew up to be.

  102. 102.

    redshirt

    @efgoldman: It’s probably worth going at least once if you can, just to experience the atmosphere*. You’re not far either. But it’s all difficult and expensive and the game is so much better on your TV at home. This is a problem for all NFL games I think, now that we’re in the age of HD.

    *For example, there was a Navy/Air Force (not sure which) fly over for one playoff game and this monstrous plane accompanied by two fighters flew extremely low over the stadium – right at my seats. It was an impressive visual and worth the trip. Maybe.

  103. 103.

    redshirt

    @Adam L Silverman: That’s cool. There were several artists among the Apaches I hung out with, but I have no idea what became of them. Overall though it was thoroughly depressing as they all lived on the fringes of society, awash in booze and drugs.

  104. 104.

    Adam L Silverman

    @redshirt: Its unfortunate that its the case. Dad did a lot of work on the NM reservations, specifically evaluations of developmentally disabled and at risk youth. He did one of his residencies one summer at Pine Ridge as well. Ultimately went to Ohio State for his doctorate.

  105. 105.

    redshirt

    @efgoldman: I doubt they flew this low. Felt like you could touch them.

    Another fly over story: I lived in the Fens for 8 years so Fenway Park was always part of the fabric, and I went to a lot of games. But one afternoon I’m just walking out my apartment to see 3 fighter jets flying low (but not Patriot’s game low) directly at me. I stood on the stoop and waved as all three went straight up into the sky with their engines glowing cherry red.

    Then a boom came down and every car alarm on the street went off in this massive cacophony. It was pretty cool.

  106. 106.

    redshirt

    @Adam L Silverman: I just read some headline that I think said 1 in 4 kids born on reservations today suffers from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

    It’s an outrage that reservations exist as they do today, but then, we have so many outrages, it’s hard to prioritize.

  107. 107.

    Anne Laurie

    @PurpleGirl:

    Story on CBS News (NY) tonight — researchers in Scotland found that second-hand smoke was bad for your household pets, worse for cats than dogs, probably because of their self grooming.

    That’s a long-known fact! I knew at least one professional breeder who gave up smoking for the sake of her dogs a good twenty years ago. Her teenage daughter was a little miffed that she’d make the sacrifice for the dogs but not for her baby, but she pointed out that her daughter would probably outlive her regardless, while the dogs had tragically short life expectacies even without worrying about second-hand smoke…

  108. 108.

    Anne Laurie

    @redshirt:

    Can you imagine eating in a restaurant with smoking now? It’s a pretty remarkable shift in consciousness in what seems a pretty fast period.

    The no-smoking restaurant bans in our Midwestern college started, as I recall, in the mid-70s. Since I’m pretty sensitive to smoke (as were many of my friends), there was a period when we’d start coughing, politely remind the addict(s) at the next table it was the non-smoking section, and be told “Oh, but this isn’t tobacco!”

    Although the prize went to the young woman chain-smoking & dropping ash on her baby’s head… I pointed out it was the (tiny, unventilated, tucked-at-the-back-of-the-room) non-smoking area, and she spent the rest of her meal complaining loudly about insensitive people who want to force her poor infant into contact with the nasty second-hand smoke…

  110. 110.

    Tissue Thin Pseudonym

    @redshirt:

    Going to a Pats game today feels like entering a maximum security prison and if you even look at someone wrong, BAM! Season tickets are gone.

    Belichick takes the fun out of everything.

  112. 112.

    Elizabelle

    Adam: Boris Karloff’s recipe looks good; will have to try it. Canned green chilis and sherry.

    So now we have Boris Karloff’s guacamole, and Balloon Juice also had a now missing in action commenter, Dance Around in your Bones, who bought or sold an Afghan rug to Vincent Price.

    Just a few degrees of separation from the horror greats.

    Come back, Dance! Miss her. She was fun. Maybe lurking, maybe not.

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