Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

The arc of the moral universe doesn’t bend itself. it’s up to us.

He really is that stupid.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Innocent people don’t delay justice.

The choice is between normal and crazy.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

We still have time to mess this up!

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

He seems like a smart guy, but JFC, what a dick!

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

So many bastards, so little time.

It looks like winning debates is a black job!

Dead end MAGA boomers crying about Talyor Swift being a Dem is my kind of music. Turn it up.

The press swings at every pitch, we don’t have to.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / NSFW Debate Roundup: Nothing But Pricks & Dick Jokes

NSFW Debate Roundup: Nothing But Pricks & Dick Jokes

by | 38 Comments

This post is in: , , , , , ,

And, as we all know, The Internet was made for dick jokes!


Reader Interactions

38Comments

  1. 1.

    Peale

    Was that really a quote from Kaisch. He called out the race of the mayor on Flint water?

  3. 3.

    lollipopguild

    So the FCC is going to fine Trump,Rubio and Cruz for talking about their dicks on live TV? Nipplegate at the Super Bowl caused the collapse of Western Civilization.

  4. 4.

    Zinsky

    Does anyone doubt, after last night’s shitshow, that Donald J. Trump is going to get slaughtered in the general election? The Republican Party – restoring honor and dignity to the White House.

  5. 5.

    Isobel

    Hillary or Bernie is going to have to carry a micrometer into the first debate to get an accurate measurement. Guys bragging this much clearly have nothing to work with.

  6. 6.

    Fair Economist

    That was a pretty witty tweet from Crist. Cover for anybody who wants to switch parties.

  8. 8.

    Funkula

    I think he’s going to get slaughtered. But I’m utterly fucking terrified of the possibility that he might not.

  9. 9.

    Fair Economist

    So what was Fox trying to do in the debate? They were attacking Trump, obviously, but they were pretty tough on Rubio and Cruz as well. Are they pushing for an outside nominee in a deadlocked convention? Does Ailes just not know what he wants?

  10. 10.

    Oatler.

    I heard angry bellows from audience no matter who was talking. When Trump called for torture and got cheers I thought it was going to turn into a putsch.

  11. 11.

    Peale

    @Funkula: yeah. Although in the end, I’d rather the GOP take a risk with an erratic failed business fraud who may or may not be too liberal for conservatives than with the true believers. I mean, if we’re unfortunate enough to have another republican foisted upon us, I’d rather it not be the one of the unqualified simps.

  12. 12.

    Anne Laurie

    @Peale:

    He called out the race of the mayor on Flint water?

    Technically, Kasich gravely conserva-splained how current Gov Snyder had no choice but to cut Flint loose, because ’50 years of misrule’ by Those People (“African-American Democrat mayor”). The Repubs only allowed little children to be poisoned for their own good, they didn’t explicitly act to poison them — totally a get-out-of-jail-free argument! Which we Dems & poor people of color would understand, if only we didn’t insist on being so not rich or white or male or Republican…

  13. 13.

    sm*t cl*de

    Rubio is more angry at Democrats for talking about the poisoned water than at the people that actually poisoned the water

    Accountability is “politicizing”. MUST NOT POLITICISE.

  14. 14.

    Baud

    Memo to Hillary: Bring a ruler to every debate and wave it at Trump every time you speak.

    Too subtle. She needs to wear a strap on and make obscene gestures with it every time a Trump interrups her.

  15. 15.

    MattF

    @Baud: And a scissors. Two scissors, one in each hand. And pass out bumper stickers saying ‘Snip, Snip, Snip’. And get an endorsement from Lorena Bobbitt.

  17. 17.

    Baud

    @dedc79:

    I don’t know who’s worse. The people in this country who are going to vote Republican or the people in this country who are still undecided.

  18. 18.

    EZSmirkzz

    And to think, some people have the temerity to say we live in the stupidest fucking country on Earth.

    Whom the gods would destroy, they first drive mad

  19. 19.

    dedc79

    @Baud: wait, just wait, until all the #nevertrump republicans start explaining why they are now #okjustthisonetimetrump republicans.

  20. 20.

    OzarkHillbilly

    @Baud: To take a page from the Malhuer Refuge playbook, I think each of us need to go out and buy a dildo and send it to Trump as a campaign donation.

  21. 21.

    moderateindy

    Jeet Heer referenced the Joker becoming the mayor of Gotham, flashed me right to one of the weirdest episodes in the 60’s Batman series in which the Penguin runs for mayor. Not only is the entertainment at the rally Paul Revere and the Raiders, but they are playing something while a girl belly dances to the music. But it is actually prescient. Listen to Penguins platform, and the old ladies reaction to it, and tell me, it’s any different than Trump, and his supporters.
    https://youtu.be/QA5X12RuoEY

  22. 22.

    Citizen Alan

    @Fair Economist: At this point, I suspect they may actually want Hillary to win since she’d be better for Fox’s ratings than pretending for the next 4 years that the Republican president wasn’t an absolute cretin.

  24. 24.

    msdc

    @moderateindy: Yeah, I know this is focusing on the wrong details, but c’mon Jeet, we all know it’s the Penguin who runs for mayor of Gotham.

    Also too, before I could see the clip, YouTube showed me a lovely 1:42 ad hitting Trump over and over again for his overt racism. This fall is going to be fun.

  25. 25.

    Gindy51

    @Citizen Alan: And you can take it to the bank they have already done their research about this… all of them have from Limbaugh to Fox to NBC.

  26. 26.

    Thoroughly Pizzled

    Hey, I signed up to be part of that Luntz focus group! They didn’t pick me, though.

  27. 27.

    Chris

    @sm*t cl*de:

    Rubio is more angry at Democrats for talking about the poisoned water than at the people that actually poisoned the water

    Just like talking about Wall Street crashing the world economy is worse than Wall Street crashing the world economy, and talking about Abu Ghraib is worse than Abu Ghraib, and talking about police violence is worse than police violence, and talking about the child abuse in the Catholic Church is worse than child abuse.

  31. 31.

    low-tech cyclist

    @Chris:

    Just like talking about Wall Street crashing the world economy is worse than Wall Street crashing the world economy, and talking about Abu Ghraib is worse than Abu Ghraib, and talking about police violence is worse than police violence, and talking about the child abuse in the Catholic Church is worse than child abuse.

    That sums it up all too well.

    Yeah, the Dems have ‘politicized’ the poisoned water in Flint.

    This is because politics is the means by which a democracy resolves its differences.

    It would be great if there was no need of that here – if we ALL agreed that poisoning a city’s drinking water, and refusing to do anything about it for a year or two despite knowing it was happening, is bad, and that the people responsible should be wearing orange for a goodly number of years.

    Unfortunately, as that wretched little twerp Marco Rubio demonstrates, there IS no such consensus, so the Dems are doing what’s called for in a democracy: they are making it a political issue.

    It shouldn’t be necessary, but since it is, the Dems are stepping up to the plate.

    The solution, dear Republicans, is: stop being villains. Stop doing awful things. Seriously, try it sometime.

  34. 34.

    Dave Pickering

    If penis size is now the most important thing to the GOP and if they have a brokered convention, maybe they should nominate Ron Jeremy. Just sayin’…

  38. 38.

    cokane

    can the GOP just measure the candidates’ dicks from now on and then nominate based on that? seems as sensible as the current system.

Comments are closed.