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You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Dolt 45 / Open Thread: Mockery of A Sham of A Mockery

Open Thread: Mockery of A Sham of A Mockery

by Anne Laurie|  April 12, 201710:00 pm| 135 Comments

This post is in: Dolt 45, Foreign Affairs, Hail to the Hairpiece, Open Threads, Republican Venality, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

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"We've just launched 59 missiles heading toward Iraq…"
"Heading toward Syria."
"Yes." https://t.co/uaaf6yNCOc

— Alec Luhn (@ASLuhn) April 12, 2017

.@POTUS tells @MariaBartiromo he told President Xi about the Missile strikes over "the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake." pic.twitter.com/vPLu7ZhxbR

— FOX Business (@FoxBusiness) April 12, 2017

MARIE ANTOINETTE: let them eat cake
TRUMP: let me eat cake, while I bomb iraq
BARTIROMO: syria
TRUMP: chocolate https://t.co/aYX5Moxq4d

— Xeni Jardin (@xeni) April 12, 2017

Ms. Bartiromo sure understands how to draw out an aging narcissist. You could subtitle this exchange “When Granpa Bought a Second-Hand Convertible for the Part-Time Hooker Down At the VFW”.

I will never forgive the Republican Party for “gifting” us, and the world, with this grifting clown.

@jdelreal Trump: And then I was like, 'Gee, this is complicated stuff! We had no idea! What a crazy world we live in! But wasn't that cake something?' pic.twitter.com/DIh5tAFyXm

— Brit DeLillo (@This1sWrong) April 12, 2017

I explained to the President of China that a trade deal with the U.S. will be far better for them if they solve the North Korean problem!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 11, 2017

North Korea is looking for trouble. If China decides to help, that would be great. If not, we will solve the problem without them! U.S.A.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 11, 2017

We are watching a real-world experiment in how Trump's Twitter diplomacy will play in the world's most volatile NatSec crisis. https://t.co/UyX9NmvWV5

— Jim Sciutto (@jimsciutto) April 11, 2017

One by one we are keeping our promises – on the border, on energy, on jobs, on regulations. Big changes are happening!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 12, 2017

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Previous Post: « CSR, hostage taking and the blame game
Next Post: Cheryl Rofer Guest Post on What is Going on in the DPRK Right Now: Fireworks »

Reader Interactions

135Comments

  1. 1.

    lollipopguild

    April 12, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    No matter how dumb/stupid he is he can always top himself.

  2. 2.

    jharp

    April 12, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    One by one we are keeping our promises – on the border, on energy, on jobs, on regulations. Big changes are happening!

    Just cannot believe this is happening.

    Holy fuck.

  3. 3.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    I keep hoping I run into George Orr, and get him to dream a world without Trump. Or Rethuglicans, for that matter.

  4. 4.

    Luthe

    April 12, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    The only jobs Trump is creating are for lawyers.

  5. 5.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    Before anyone freaks about either The Jester’s tweets on the subject, anyone else’s tweets in response to the The Jester’s tweets, or any other coverage about just what the DPRK leadership is doing or planning to do, I have asked Cheryl Rofer to do a guest post for us. She has graciously agreed and it should be here within an hour. So provided nothing goes kaboom between now and then…

  6. 6.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    posted this below on the subject of trumpy’s culinary tastes, though I will fight anyone who says there’s something wrong with chocolate cake, especially served warm with a nice creme anglaise

    Jeff Ross, the comedian who has taken over the roasting gig and has some kind of past show biz relationship with the Rough Beast, said on the Marc Maron podcast that he saw trumpy at one of his properties in December, and they chatted. Ross said he found the flabby dimwitted ape to the same as he’s always been, and mentioned, “he was dipping his cheeseburger in mayonnaise”

  7. 7.

    SuzieC

    April 12, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    I just can’t stand to look at the bloated sagging face of this asshole. His face looks like a rotting orange Halloween pumpkin that has been left on the front porch for too long. I applied the app MAKA (Make America Kittens Again) on my laptop to change the Rotting Pumpkin Head to kittens, but too many still get through.

  8. 8.

    jl

    April 12, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    Wow. I am trying to count the dimensions of Total Fail in Trump’s comment on how Xi explained things too him re North Korea.

    I think it works like, a stable theory can exist if I can keep it under 12, but then everything falls apart into some kind of indescribable chaos. Is that right? I think that is some kind of egghead physics or math shit.

  9. 9.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:09 pm

    I keep waiting for press pool photos of Trump running around the White House grounds naked except for an open bath robe and a fake imitation crown.

  10. 10.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: that’s great, thanks to you and Ms Rofer (Dr?)

    I hope she’s going to tell us the the situation is less terrifying than it appears. Ever since the Syrian strike, my first thought when I wake up every morning is “I wonder if he started a war over night”. I’m ready to dip a cheeseburger in mayonnaise, or eat an entire pan of lasagna,

  11. 11.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    @Corner Stone: Riding Sean Spicer piggyback and whipping him with a ridging crop

  12. 12.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: We are all going to die, Adam. And I don’t mean “eventually”.

  13. 13.

    columbusqueen

    April 12, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    Every time I think Trump can’t possibly beclown himself further, he proves me wrong. May all our fellow citizens who voted for this asshole go fuck themselves with chain saws.

  14. 14.

    columbusqueen

    April 12, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    @Corner Stone: I need brain bleach now.

  15. 15.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    It’s a god damn disgrace to have Gen Wesley Clark and Katrina Vandenhovelscheiss on the same panel, Lawrence.

  16. 16.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    Not sure mayo goes well with lasagna, so you might want to rethink that.

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    April 12, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    I know you guys get irritated when these things freak me out, but I’m a good 2,000 miles closer to the potential action than you are. Even if it’s “only” Japan or South Korea, there will be not-good aftereffects on this side of the country for a very long time.

  18. 18.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I’m ready to dip a cheeseburger in mayonnaise

    What was the defense against that creepy kid in Twilight Zone that could wish anything to happen to people? Or maybe we pull a Simpson’s treatment in a Halloween Special and, “Just don’t look! Just don’t look!”

  19. 19.

    Gin & Tonic

    April 12, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Katrina van den Heuvel needs to STFU.

  20. 20.

    (((CassandraLeo)))

    April 12, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    As a professional pedant (OK, not really; I haven’t figured out a way to earn a living this way yet), I have to point out that Marie Antoinette almost certainly never actually said “Let them eat cake.”

  21. 21.

    amk

    April 12, 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Goldman Sachs running the economy and Jeff Sessions running law enforcement and immigration is truly the perfect higher synthesis.— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) April 12, 2017

    mission accomplished, wwc, sarandon and co.

  22. 22.

    jl

    April 12, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: The situation is scary. Our hope is that Trump folds quickly when challenged. Who the hell knows what Xi told him, and how much of it was BS designed to keep Trump off his back on NK, and how much was accurate info that Trump was (naturally) completely ignorant about? But fact that a corrupt old fart and hack running an authoritarian regime can just jaw Trump into submission over some warm chocolate cake at a tacky FL resort fake up of a state dinner, that is a good sign even Trump can sense when one of his goofy plans won’t work. When he is slapped in the face with the evidence.

    Now we have to hope that Trump goes to his central casting generals and make some inquiries, and that Mattis’ nickname ‘Mad Dog’ is just a little military humor, and the guy can give Drumpf some sound advice.

  23. 23.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    One by one we are keeping our promises

    Someone should remind him of his campaign promise to commit seppuku if he didn’t repeal Obamacare in the first 10 days.

  24. 24.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    @SFAW: Not sure mayo goes well with lasagna, so you might want to rethink that.

    that’s how they serve at Trumpini’s, teh best Italian food anywhere, many people say, fantastic, the best. People come from Rome and Naples, all the time, real Italians, for Trumpini’s lasagna. The secret ingredient, is Heinz 57 and Velvet

    ETA:

    @jl: nd that Mattis’ nickname ‘Mad Dog’ is just a little military humor

    I take comfort in the fact that he’s said to hate that name.

  25. 25.

    danielx

    April 12, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    I have to wonder if they’re having to use an atomic clock to measure Doomsday Clock time.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying ‘we’re doomed, all is lost’, Dies Irae, etc. The question is whether whatever work we do will be in time to bear fruit.

  26. 26.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    @jl:

    and how much was stuff Trump was ignorant about.

    All of it, Katie.

  27. 27.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    @jharp: I fixed the formatting in your comment. Also, the good news is, despite what he’s saying tweeting, they’re not actually accomplishing a lot. Yes, what little they’ve been able to accomplish is nasty and mean, but they are fortunately not very good at what they’re doing. Hell, when you have to request a budget increase to cover 24/7 security coverage as a cabinet secretary and the stated reason is fear of the civil servants in your agency, you’re both demonstrating being a pathetic coward and telegraphing that you’re not going to accomplish much.

  28. 28.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:19 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: I hate seeing her on TV.

  29. 29.

    SuzieC

    April 12, 2017 at 10:20 pm

    @Mnemosyne: Just out of curiousity, are you in Hawaii? And are you active duty military? I ask because my Navy son is being sent to Pearl Harbor. Otherwise fabulous duty but of course we worry about NK. If there is anyone here who is based in Hawaii I would like to correspond with you.

  30. 30.

    Gin & Tonic

    April 12, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    @Corner Stone: And yet I’d rather see her than her husband.

  31. 31.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: The only reason to use mayonnaise is as a thin layer buffer on the top and bottom of the bun to keep the juices from seeping in and turning the bun into mush and making the burger impossible to eat. That is the actual structural purpose of putting mayo on a burger, unless you are someone who likes mayo on a burger.

  32. 32.

    danielx

    April 12, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I suspect the Rude Pundit will be working with images of that nature.

  33. 33.

    amk

    April 12, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: your ph.d’s are showing dood.

  34. 34.

    gene108

    April 12, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    @SuzieC:

    Commenter NotMax resides in Hawaii. I am not sure which island though.

  35. 35.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    @jl:

    at a tacky FL resort fake up of a state dinner,

    Where I grew up (North Shore of Long Island), the go-to tacky bar mitzvah joint was a place called “Leonard’s.” Even at that age, I could tell it was world-class, and not in a good way. I’m thinking Shitgibbon went there a bazillion times, and said “This is the way to go!”

    [And I can hear the screams of BJ-ers familiar with the place, right now, yelling “Fucking Leonard’s? Jesus H. Christ!!!!!”]

  36. 36.

    Yarrow

    April 12, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    Tonight TCM was showing the 1962 film “Panic in Year Zero,” which opens with a nuclear attack on Los Angeles. You get to see the mushroom cloud and everything. Normally I’d think it was a quaint cold war film. But now…

  37. 37.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Hey, put that under a brain bleach warning!

  38. 38.

    SuzieC

    April 12, 2017 at 10:27 pm

    @gene108: Thank you.

  39. 39.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    that’s how they serve at Trumpini’s, teh best Italian food anywhere, many people say, fantastic, the best. People come from Rome and Naples, all the time, real Italians, for Trumpini’s lasagna. The secret ingredient, is Heinz 57 and Velvet

    I’m oscillating between laughing and puking

    ETA: I’m guessing that “Velvet” was supposed to be “Velveeta”?

  40. 40.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I’m ready to dip a cheeseburger in mayonnaise

    Nuclear winter can’t be that bad.

  41. 41.

    schrodingers_cat

    April 12, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: That’s just gross, even worse than ketchup on steak.

  42. 42.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Cheryl’s guest post is up! She has indicated she’ll hang around in comments for about an hour to answer whatever questions you all might have.

  43. 43.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:33 pm

    @gene108: Maui. We have another BJ person on Kauai, LauraPDX. Nobody on Oahu that I can remember but it’s possible. This blog contains multitudes!

  44. 44.

    Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD)

    April 12, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: What’s with the “white people and mayonnaise” stereotype?

  45. 45.

    humboldtblue

    April 12, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    Now now now you motherclucking hens Sam Bee explains it all.

    Pythons in Wonderland

    That’s the second excellent band name I’ve come up with today.

  46. 46.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    @Corner Stone: All will be well.

  47. 47.

    debbie

    April 12, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    Mayo’s the best thing for a burger when the bun is an English muffin.

  48. 48.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    @Mnemosyne: As I wrote in reply to you down below:
    In this case I think it most likely they’re going to do a 6th test, and as large a one as they can manage, at their testing facility in NE DPRK. They can’t get a medium range missile to fire successfully so I think you’re pretty safe for the time being.

  49. 49.

    zhena gogolia

    April 12, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    @Yarrow:

    I thought, “Oh boy, a Frankie Avalon movie!” then I read the plot. No thanks, not right now.

  50. 50.

    joel hanes

    April 12, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    @Corner Stone:

    What was the defense against that creepy kid in Twilight Zone

    There really was none, because he was erratic, and was holding everyone left in the world hostage to his emotional needs.

    Hmm, why does this sound relevant ….

    …anyway, the best strategy for survival seemed to be effulgent flattery coupled with a refusal to acknowledge any aspect of reality that the child-with-power did not wish to be so.

    The original story is “It’s A Good Life”, by Jerome Bixby
    https://www.librarything.com/topic/179520

  51. 51.

    schrodingers_cat

    April 12, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    OT aside. In the Americans*, Frank Langella’s who plays the KGB handler of our lead pair says, they once had Lincoln, now they have Reagan. I wonder what he would have said about T.

    Its about 1984 in their world, I think.

  52. 52.

    Steve in the ATL

    April 12, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    @Corner Stone: why isn’t LauraPDX in Portland? I feel like this whole blog is a lie!

  53. 53.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 12, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    @SFAW: Black Velvet?

  54. 54.

    Mnemosyne

    April 12, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    @SuzieC:

    I’m not — I’m in California. I know that commenter NotMax is in Hawaii, and a few others pop in from time to time.

    We have gotten some radiation from Fukushima in California (detectable but not at dangerous levels) and they’ve found Fukushima-identifiable radiation in our fish (though, again, at low levels that are not dangerous). So a nuclear event in South Korea or Japan would affect us, probably starting several years afterwards.

  55. 55.

    jl

    April 12, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    @SFAW: I don’t particularly care that Trump throws tacky fake-ups of state dinners at sketchy filthy rich resorts, for certain leaders who probably don’t really deserve any better. To the extent that it insults the diplomatic niceties and makes good deals harder to negotiate, it’s bad. But, it’s Trump so those are not going to happen anyway.

    Fact that the expense of it is larger than entire programs that Trump’s hacks propose to eliminate bothers me. And after all the racist crap about how Obama disgraced the WH, his office and the country, every time he moved a finger, and then Trump pulls this shit and no one says even a word about it, that also bothers me. But then Trump is filthy rich old white asshole, so I guess that is to be expected.

    I notice in pics that at official functions Melania Trump always seems to be frozen in some mixture of agony, panic and dread. Not sure why. But that doesn’t bother me as much as Trump swanking around his resorts.

  56. 56.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: There is no excuse for mayo on a burger. My dad does it; I love him, but he is wrong.

  57. 57.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    @amk: Actually my training as a chef, which helped me pay for my education, is showing. Also, I watched the Good Eats episode about this…

  58. 58.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    @Butthurt Jordan Trombone (fka XTPD): Who else eats it?

  59. 59.

    Mnemosyne

    April 12, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    @Adam L Silverman:

    See my comment at #54 — even if “only” South Korea or Japan gets nuked, we will still get aftereffects in California. A big enough earthquake in that part of the Pacific puts us on tsunami watch.

  60. 60.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: I don’t know, but I take her at her word.

  61. 61.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est: supposed to be Velveeta, dammit. Stupid autocorrect.

    @schrodingers_cat: speaking of Lincoln (the party of) , did everyone see the NC legislator, and because of course he is, pastor, who compared Lincoln to Hitler, and not indirectly or accidentally or…

    Pittman’s response: “And if Hitler had won, should the world just get over it? Lincoln was the same sort (of) tyrant, and personally responsible for the deaths of over 800,000 Americans in a war that was unnecessary and unconstitutional.”

    Read more here: http://www.newsobserver.com/news/politics-government/state-politics/article144216324.html#storylink=cpy

  62. 62.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    @joel hanes: I seem to recall a mildly pretty woman with a perky rack taking his hand in friendship and all seemed to be well…for a time.

  63. 63.

    ThresherK

    April 12, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    @Corner Stone: I believe if you snuck up behind the.boy without thinking about it there would be no thoughts to read.

    The idea that not thinking is the way to conquer Trump’s effect is pretty funny.

    Well, it would be funny if this presidency didn’t make me think, Which Twilight Zone will America’s demise most closely resemble?

  64. 64.

    Adam L Silverman

    April 12, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: I’m not saying I agree with it, but this appears to be a scientifically valid structural argument.

  65. 65.

    Steeplejack (phone)

    April 12, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    No dipping, but I occasionally like a shmitz of mayonnaise on a burger. There, I said it.

  66. 66.

    jl

    April 12, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    @jl: In a way the traveling Trump Rump House is grimly hilarious, apart from the rank hypocrisy of the corporate media for not even noticing Trump’s gaucherie after broadcasting racist GOP talking points about how awful Obama was, and the sheer waste and expense.

    When I can distance myself from it, funny to see Trump put on these tacky diplomatic and administrative shit shows in FL, or wherever, like the WH is not good enough for him.

    I’m not for going back to what I considered the sometimes just too precious Obama class about this stuff. I’d prefer a healthy mix of the down home tacky, but I think honest, BS Dub threw, and the high Obama style. But maybe I am wrong. Did Obama ever throw a BBQ, or damn pic-a-nic with baskets and paper plates? If so, I take back my comment.

    But the Trump show alternates between betng hilarious and infuriating.

    Edit: any element favorable to Dub in comment only applies to social and diplomatic events, nothing else about Dub. At least that admin could throw a g-damned Easter Egg Roll. And knew how to staff it. Dub and Laura had a boffo Easter Bunny, didn’t they?

  67. 67.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    @Adam L Silverman: Madara Uchiha would disagree.

  68. 68.

    Gin & Tonic

    April 12, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Nice work with the semicolon, BTW.

  69. 69.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 12, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Saw that about the NC legislator, and he’s the reason why Lincoln was wrong about Reconstruction. It wasn’t painful enough or permanent enough for the South.

  70. 70.

    Mnemosyne

    April 12, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    You guys are making me want to get a burger this weekend. Maybe a run to The Counter or Umami Burger.

  71. 71.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    @Steve in the ATL:

    I feel like this whole blog is a lie!

    You know what’s a lie? I’ll tell you what’s a lie! The damn cake is a lie! That’s what is a lie! There was no beautiful chocolate cake! Maria Bartiromo Antoinette never said anything about letting them eat cake!
    It’s all a fucking lie! A lie! LIE!

  72. 72.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    A big enough earthquake in that part of the Pacific puts us on tsunami watch.

    But think of the great surfing!

    In Fresno.

  73. 73.

    Villago Delenda Est

    April 12, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    @Corner Stone: Also, too, the cannoli was a lie. The gun, however, was real!

  74. 74.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Black Velvet?

    Yeah, at least a fifth, to wash down the Heinz 57 and Velveeta.

  75. 75.

    Yarrow

    April 12, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    @zhena gogolia: Yeah, me too. I did watch the first five minutes out of curiosity. That’s when I got to see the mushroom cloud. I turned it off when someone stole gas from the gas station attendant by punching him in the face and driving off.

  76. 76.

    joel hanes

    April 12, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    Which Twilight Zone will America’s demise most closely resemble?

    The hot part of the earth-moves-closer-to-sun / earth-breaks-out-of-solar-orbit-and-freezes episode,
    “Midnight Sun”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiWjdYOeNqQ

    We’re doing nothing about CO2 under Trump and the Rs, rather the opposite , and some recent projections have us at 600 ppm atmospheric CO2 by 2050 — in just 33 years. That’d be the highest concentration in 50 milliion years, since the Eocene.

    Truly a victory for the Heartland Institute and “sound science”. Fuckers.

  77. 77.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    @Villago Delenda Est:

    Also, too, the cannoli was a lie. The gun, however, was real!

    No, the cannoli were real. Just had to remember which one to take, which one to leave.

  78. 78.

    Steve in the ATL

    April 12, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    @Corner Stone: you can’t handle the cake!

  79. 79.

    jl

    April 12, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    @joel hanes: Chuck D recently recommended that episode. I was going to watch, but I am delicate and Twilight Zone scares me. Probably scared from memories of watching creepy re-runs when I was a tyke.

  80. 80.

    debbie

    April 12, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    @Mnemosyne:

    I haven’t had a real burger in years, but I’m going to have to make one this weekend. I’ve got plenty of Hellman’s on hand.

  81. 81.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 12, 2017 at 11:05 pm

    Dinner with Xi

    Trump made an egregious mistake
    When he poured bottled ketchup on steak.
    He choked on the gristle
    And launched off a missile,
    Sat back, smirked, and said “Piece of cake.”

  82. 82.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    @debbie: I wanna try the save the bun thing

  83. 83.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 11:08 pm

    @debbie:

    I’ve got plenty of Hellman’s on hand.

    Why?

  84. 84.

    Gin & Tonic

    April 12, 2017 at 11:08 pm

    @debbie: Duke’s is the mayonnaise to eat.

  85. 85.

    Steve in the ATL

    April 12, 2017 at 11:12 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: OMG I’m going to have to pie you now. Though if you’d said Miracle Whip I would organize an intervention.

  86. 86.

    David Spikes

    April 12, 2017 at 11:16 pm

    Nothing big has been made of the baby kushes singing a Chinese song at the dinner.
    Try to imagine your feelings at somebody’s house when they bring out the grandkids to entertain, then multiply those feelings to infinity.

  87. 87.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    @David Spikes: god, it never ends. What’s next? Melanie asked him if he knows General Tso from the chicken?

  88. 88.

    Steve in the ATL

    April 12, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    @SiubhanDuinne:

    Dinner with Xi

    Trump made an egregious mistake
    When he poured bottled ketchup on steak.
    He choked on the gristle
    And launched off a missile,
    Sat back, smirked, and said “Piece of cake.”

    Well played

  89. 89.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 11:20 pm

    @Steve in the ATL:

    OMG I’m going to have to pie you now.

    Mayonnaise pie? That’s as weird as a mayo martini (which, according to Tom Robbins, was a thing, at least in his circle of nutcases).

  90. 90.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 11:22 pm

    @David Spikes:

    Nothing big has been made of the baby kushes singing a Chinese song at the dinner.

    Maybe because they were singing “Arirang,” and it didn’t translate well?

  91. 91.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 11:25 pm

    @SFAW: I am going to pretend that this comment never happened.

  92. 92.

    debbie

    April 12, 2017 at 11:26 pm

    @Gin & Tonic:

    Sacrilege!

  93. 93.

    debbie

    April 12, 2017 at 11:28 pm

    @Steve in the ATL:

    My roommate liked that horrid Miracle Whip. The only way to keep peace was to keep the jars at opposite ends of the refrigerator.

  94. 94.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    @debbie: I cannot believe that there are fights over brands of mayonnaise.

  95. 95.

    Major Major Major Major

    April 12, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    Signed up for Thai cooking classes tomorrow. Suuuuper looking forward to it.

  96. 96.

    Steve in the ATL

    April 12, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Miracle Whip is not mayonnaise.

  97. 97.

    Steve in the ATL

    April 12, 2017 at 11:35 pm

    @debbie: I would have insisted on separate refrigerators, just to be safe

  98. 98.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 11:36 pm

    @debbie:

    My roommate liked that horrid Miracle Whip.

    No they didn’t. They was just bullshitin’.

  99. 99.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 11:37 pm

    Colorado Congressman holds town hall

    Nick Riccardi‏Verified account @ NickRiccardi 2h2 hours ago
    MikeCoffman on @ seanspicer: “he’s got to go.”
    I think we have our gaffe: “Those of you on the extreme left will never be satisfied,” Coffman says when asked why doesn’t stand up to Trump

    It didn’t play well in the room, it seems.

  100. 100.

    Suzanne

    April 12, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    @SFAW:

    Where I grew up (North Shore of Long Island

    Where at? I was born on LI and lived there (Huntington Station) until I was nine. I dream about moving back.

  101. 101.

    debbie

    April 12, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    No fights, just a respectable separateness.

  102. 102.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Great Neck

  103. 103.

    Corner Stone

    April 12, 2017 at 11:44 pm

    @Major Major Major Major: Tom Yum Goong while the world burns.

  104. 104.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 11:44 pm

    @Steve in the ATL: Show me where i mentioned MW?

  105. 105.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I am going to pretend that this comment never happened.

    Pretend all you want. I heard Robbins (I think) talking about it on NPR, five-or-so years ago. Kinda fucked up, to my mind, but that’s just me.

  106. 106.

    SiubhanDuinne

    April 12, 2017 at 11:47 pm

    @SFAW:

    Kinda fucked up, to my mind, but that’s just me.

    Isn’t just you.

  107. 107.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 12, 2017 at 11:49 pm

    @debbie: Mayonnaise is horrible. Fighting about brands of horrible strikes me as silly. Seriously, it is literally the only “food” that automatically triggers my gag reflex. I have a mayo issue.

  108. 108.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 12, 2017 at 11:50 pm

    @SFAW: it’s called a gin greasy. I won’t post any extracts

  109. 109.

    SFAW

    April 12, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    it’s called a gin greasy.

    Yeah, I know. Even with a name like that, it’s still fucked up.

  110. 110.

    jl

    April 12, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    @SFAW: must be a hoax. Great name though. Need to find something good to hang it on.

  111. 111.

    efgoldman

    April 12, 2017 at 11:59 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    it is literally the only “food” that automatically triggers my gag reflex. I have a mayo issue.

    Just because YOU have an issue doesn’t mean no-one else is supposed to use it.
    I mean, mrs efg and millions of other people like lamb, which makes ME gag. You can eat whatever the fuck you want – I don’t tell YOU not to drink vanilla brandy

  112. 112.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 13, 2017 at 12:00 am

    @efgoldman: I’ve heard tell that in Wisconsin, they make a brandy flavored mayonnaise.

  113. 113.

    ?BillinGlendaleCA

    April 13, 2017 at 12:01 am

    @Mnemosyne: We had testing in Nevada in the 50’s and CA was pretty much effected much, but you could see the sky light up towards the northeast when they tested. There was the partial meltdown in the Simi Hills in 1959.

  114. 114.

    SFAW

    April 13, 2017 at 12:01 am

    @efgoldman:

    I’m not worried about the mayo, vanilla brandy, or lamb — it’s the anthrax and tire rims that I try to stay away from.

  115. 115.

    Sab

    April 13, 2017 at 12:02 am

    @(((CassandraLeo))): Of course not. She didn’t speak English.

  116. 116.

    SFAW

    April 13, 2017 at 12:02 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    I’ve heard tell that in Wisconsin, they make a brandy flavored mayonnaise.

    Wicked pissah.

  117. 117.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 13, 2017 at 12:03 am

    @efgoldman: Don’t conflate accident with intent.

  118. 118.

    SFAW

    April 13, 2017 at 12:05 am

    @Sab:

    Of course not. She didn’t speak English.

    Look, just because she was a Geordie doesn’t mean she couldn’t speak English. The accent just takes some getting used to, is all.

  119. 119.

    Omnes Omnibus

    April 13, 2017 at 12:06 am

    @efgoldman: Also slather what you want on you want. As I said, I have a mayo issue. I didn’t ask you to have one.

    Edited a bit.

  120. 120.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    April 13, 2017 at 12:11 am

    @(((CassandraLeo))): No one actually said anything, it turns out. There’s a whole category of famous quotes that float around between being attributed to Shaw or Wilde or Bertrand Russell and almost every single one of them when you look into it turns out to be from none of those people but assembled from two snippets, one in a magazine somewhere and the other something in an ad, neither of which even resemble what they got assembled into all that much to begin with.

    Snopes is the only actual real thing in the world I think, and even that is probably all just made up.

  121. 121.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    April 13, 2017 at 12:14 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim: The internet is just an internet hoax

    ETA: This is Josh Barro’s pinned tweet

    Josh Barro‏Verified account @ jbarro 3 Dec 2016
    Everybody loves mayonnaise but nobody wants to admit it, even to themselves.

  122. 122.

    SFAW

    April 13, 2017 at 12:16 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    There’s a whole category of famous quotes that float around between being attributed to Shaw or Wilde or Bertrand Russell

    “Your Majesty is like a stream of bat’s piss” is real, however.

  123. 123.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    April 13, 2017 at 12:20 am

    @SFAW: I think you could replace “Snopes” in my comment above with “Monty Python” and it would work also.

    I was looking at a year old This Modern World cartoon the other day and it was so close to what’s now just reality that I thought okay that’s it, we keep saying this but now life itself really has just become wild exaggerated satire, making real satire the closest thing to reflecting it in print or pixels that we have.

  124. 124.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    April 13, 2017 at 12:25 am

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: How people pronounce mayonnaise is the interesting one for me. I grew up saying “maynase” but other kids said “mahnase”, 1st syllable rhyming with “map”, and it was just the weirdest thing, there’s the real divide in the world IMO. This is leaving the “YO” part completely out of it by the way, neither of us pronounced that at all.

  125. 125.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    April 13, 2017 at 12:26 am

    I’m just writing in a dead thread now, aren’t I.

  126. 126.

    Frankensteinbeck

    April 13, 2017 at 12:30 am

    @Corner Stone:
    When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!

  127. 127.

    Corner Stone

    April 13, 2017 at 12:32 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim: If it twere your love that killed it, then aye. It is dead.

  128. 128.

    hovercraft

    April 13, 2017 at 12:33 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim:
    Pretty much, just a few like me, catching up. I assume there are others out there
    ;- )

  129. 129.

    Corner Stone

    April 13, 2017 at 12:38 am

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    No one actually said anything, it turns out.

    It’s weird. Because i wanted to. i thought about it several times. What would happen when i said something? Could i say something? Would the situation be better or improved by my saying something? Maybe it would just be selfishly making myself feel better if i said something. Would they attack me if i said something?
    In the end i decided not to say anything. i guess that’s it.

  130. 130.

    hovercraft

    April 13, 2017 at 12:46 am

    @jl:
    Apart from the Fourth of July WH picnics, this is probably why there were no publicized “cookouts”.
    Just kidding this one is satire, unfortunately the second one isn’t.

    Obama Promises To Have “BBQ Cookout” On White House Lawn Before End Of Presidency

    Obama made a comment on Monday that has his opponents and some Americans upset. Some people are even saying that President Obama is disrespecting our country’s s heritage. In his announcement, Obama discussed his plans for exiting the White House by holding a summer barbecue cookout on the White House lawn.

    “I’m gonna say it because I’ve been wanting to say it,” said Obama. “Everybody wants to talk about the first black president. Black this, black that. Sure I played some basketball at the White House, even listen to rap music when nobody was looking. But now I’m going to show America how black I can get. We are barbecuing and throwing a cookout on the White House lawn. Obama Out!”

    Throughout history, cooking in the front yard was a means of showing prosperity, to show off what you were cooking. Cooking in the front yard is widely accepted in many cultures, except the white culture. 99% of the protesters that showed up at today’s rally in opposition of the White House barbecue were caucasian. The other 1% were Asian. Technically, there is no rule, regulation, or law that can stop the president from having his party. The summer barbecue going away party is set for June 18th.

    Obama’s Hip-Hop BBQ Didn’t Create Jobs
    Published August 5, 2011

    Celebrity-filled bash, as entertainer Chris Rock reported on his Twitter feed: “Just left the Presidents birthday party at the White House. Herbie Hancock played, Stevie Wonder sang and yes they did the electric slide. A great night.”

    Daughter Malia, 13 just arrived home from summer camp in time for the Rose Garden party as she was joined by her sister, Sasha, 10, First Lady Michelle, grandmother Marian Robinson and their godmother, Eleanor “Mama Kaye, Wilson,” who flew to Washington from Chicago on Air Force One with Obama when he returned from his Thursday fund-raiser back home.

    Obama’s party–paid for, the White House said, by the First Couple–was closed press and not on his official schedule. Obama’s team was not eager for pictures of the bash, coming as the stock market was plunging and a new jobless report comes out Friday morning.

  131. 131.

    joel hanes

    April 13, 2017 at 12:47 am

    anthrax and tire rims

    Cole is immortal for that metaphor.
    Maybe for other things too, but that one will live on.

    And what a perfect description of Republican policy ideas!

  132. 132.

    Comrade Colette Collaboratrice

    April 13, 2017 at 1:20 am

    @SuzieC:

    I applied the app MAKA (Make America Kittens Again) on my laptop to change the Rotting Pumpkin Head to kittens

    Thanks for the reminder. I just did that and my world is already a softer, fuzzier, cuter place, tiny claws and needle-like teeth notwithstanding.

  133. 133.

    efgoldman

    April 13, 2017 at 1:51 am

    @GrandJury:

    This guy makes him look like Abe Lincoln.

    I wouldn’t go quite that far…
    Hoover, maybe? Garfield?

  134. 134.

    Sunny Raines

    April 13, 2017 at 2:31 am

    I will never forgive the Republican Party for “gifting” us, and the world, with this grifting clown.

    credit where credit is due: the republican establishment tried to avoid trump. It was the 62 million republican voters that gave us the orange maggot as POTUS. (And of course ALL of the republican alternates to trump were as bad policy-wise so it wouldn’t have mattered.)

  135. 135.

    leeleeFL

    April 13, 2017 at 5:50 am

    @columbusqueen: My mantra presently. WT actual F can a citizen who doesn’t pray do?

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