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I’m Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

You are here: Home / Archives for I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

Open Thread: “Reasonable” Discourse

by Anne Laurie|  February 13, 202011:11 am| 185 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Show Us on the Doll Where the Invisible Hand Touched You, All Too Normal, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh, Our Failed Media Experiment

I feel like one of the most powerful, uncommented-on forces in America now is the way people regard thinking of themselves as good people as an entitlement–I *deserve* to be a good person!–rather than something people have to work toward.

— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) January 1, 2019

So Max Boot, who only recently became a Democrat, is getting yelled at for preferring Mike Bloomberg, who only recently became a Democrat, over Bernie Sanders, who only recently became a Democrat, to stop Donald Trump, who only recently became a Republican.

— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) February 12, 2020

As a former member of the Leopards Eating People's Faces party until it became extremist, I can tell you that the Let's Not Eat Anyone's Face party will get nowhere unless it elects a candidate who wants leopards to eat *some* people's faces.

— James Palmer (@BeijingPalmer) February 12, 2020

And of course, in government we must restore the leopards to their treasured place in our nation's capital. To hunt them would be as gross a crime as those who unleashed them into the nurseries.

— James Palmer (@BeijingPalmer) February 12, 2020

couldn't agree more, leopards eating people's faces should be included in the political process

— animaLOVErdlords (@animaloverlords) February 12, 2020

“Face Eating Wrong, Critics Allege”

— Brooke Binkowski (@brooklynmarie) February 13, 2020

Extremists!!

— CP (@quellesurprise8) February 13, 2020

Strong agree, honestly people need to take some personal responsibility for having their faces eaten by my leopards.

— MK (@haxromana) February 12, 2020

“It’s me, Max, the reasonable moderate” bothers people because his entire thing was being the Neocon’s Neocon, the guy so extreme Dick Cheney would tell him to tone it down, who was nevertheless taken seriously, until mid 2016 when wasn’t basically overnight

— Proud Bloomberg Disliker (@MenshevikM) February 12, 2020

Open Thread: “Reasonable” DiscoursePost + Comments (185)

Decline & Fall Open Thread: If A Nazi Screams on the National Mall…

by Anne Laurie|  February 9, 202011:12 pm| 51 Comments

This post is in: domestic terrorists, Justice, Open Threads, I Can't Believe We're Still Talking About Fucking Nazis, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

More than 100 white supremacists associated with Patriot Front are marching on the Capitol in Washington DC right now!” They are chanting “Reclaim America and “Life, Liberty, Victory!” pic.twitter.com/cItvPOcpoH

— Oren Segal (@orensegal) February 8, 2020

… and can’t get the attention they so desperately demand…

Does anyone know what their modified American flag looks like? These guys change symbols so quickly it's hard to keep up https://t.co/jBgENBCXqN

— Canadian Bread Price Fixing (@MenshevikM) February 9, 2020

That is LITERALLY a fasces on the flag. https://t.co/ERTut69xJs

— zeddy (@Zeddary) February 9, 2020

I'm not sure if it's sinister or vaguely sad that the Nazis couldn't intimidate anyone in the moment and needed the media to tell everyone after the fact that they were Nazis

— Canadian Bread Price Fixing (@MenshevikM) February 9, 2020

Photos of the Neo Nazi protest in Washington DC today…

Members of the Patriot Front marched from the National Mall, past the Capitol, ending near Union Station.

Patriot Front is run by Thomas Ryan Rousseau, who founded the group in 2017, as a teenager.@WUSA9 @washingtonpost pic.twitter.com/0CLOqEtIz5

— Mike Valerio (@MikevWUSA) February 9, 2020

Thread and live stream link. https://t.co/SvgOB0zm11

— JJ MacNab (@jjmacnab) February 8, 2020

Nazis:
– March through Washington DC
– Have staffers in the White House
– Have active subcultures that recruit kids
– *Still* dominate on Youtube
– Are tolerated as gun sellers and gun buyers

But every time somebody online say "hey, maybe they shouldn't" they act under siege

— Canadian Bread Price Fixing (@MenshevikM) February 9, 2020

Decline & Fall Open Thread: If A Nazi Screams on the National Mall…Post + Comments (51)

The Idiot

by ruemara|  February 1, 20207:25 pm| 60 Comments

This post is in: Because of wow., Open Threads, All Too Normal, General Stupidity, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh, Seriously

There is nothing like helping a friend. Barring it involving moving a body*, it’s usually a sign of Being A Good Person. However… I have learned that this is not necessarily a sign of being a smart person.

Yes, I did lift those. Yes, that’s a heavy band around my legs. Yes, those are velvet shoes.

A few days ago, I went with a friend to their parents’ house, which is being sold, as their father passed last year and it’s become too much for their mother. To say the family dynamic is stressful is a classic case of “My Culture Has a Case of the British Understatementitis”, so I wanted to be there for them. There was also a car. A car that has sat in the garage for about 3 months and is now an ex-running car. The desire was to jump the car, use it to take beloved furniture back to friend’s own home, possibly eat some pizza in a furniture laden home. The best laid plans, juicers, something something, I got distracted, maybe it was important, maybe not.

There’s a surprising amount of time lifting things for no reason on my calendar. & Looking like a Flashdance extra.

Said car is a luxury vehicle. As in, a Lexus. Did I mention it’s a 2017 Lexus SUV? Someone had to stay in the vehicle to steer the non-running thing & someone had to push. Being a clever person, I was not about to steer a car I have no clue about, with friend’s expensive car too close, and possibly lose control, crashing expensive SUV into parents’ house or a neighbor’s house. I’m not saying I’m disaster prone, I’m saying I have a tendency to defy statistics.

Piece o’cake!

So, your pal pushed a 4 ton vehicle about 20 feet. It charged up, was driven back into the garage. It died again. So, I did the feat of strength, again. We did some what was needed, we went back to our respective homes. All was well!

Until… I woke up the next day with the most incredible pain in my left shin, ankle & foot. I’ve been laid up for a couple of days and can only walk moderate distances with a cane. I have no idea what happened, so don’t ask me. It seemed really simple at the time. I did push the thing, it moved, I kept pushing until we had the space we needed. Why my body didn’t signal, “Girl, you crazy? Call AAA!”, i dunno. I’m breaking down the scar tissue and slowly regaining mobility, but that was, in hindsight, probably stupid. But good intentions? Ah, well. I can take loving well, if not wisely. Open thread, laugh at my pain, but remember, I did move an suv.

“You’re supposed to be smarter, WTF.” “Forget it, Odo. Mom can’t even hunt.”

The IdiotPost + Comments (60)

Bach Gets It: Boris Johnson Edition (With Bonus Tikka)

by Tom Levenson|  December 16, 20195:33 pm| 63 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Decline and Fall, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

Via my sister, the music theorist, and with a special place in our hearts for valued commenter and grand master of invective, Tony Jay, this:

 

Also, because who doesn’t need a little hostile cat action in the afternoon, please enjoy the picture below:

Bach Gets It: Boris Johnson Edition (With Bonus Tikka)

For the caption, I’m wavering between “You lookin’ at me?” and “Do you feel lucky today? Well, do you, punk?”

Last: y’all may have noticed a protracted lack of much stuff from yours truly. I’m rounding the last turn on my long-promised South Sea Bubble book — fixing footnotes.*

It is my hope though not my promise that I’ll be a little more useful around the joint once the MS goes back to Random House. In the meantime, I’ll keep on trying to satiate the jackaltariat with the occasional buffoonery.

With that, the thread is open.

*Mamas. Don’t let your babies grow up to put TKs in their citations!

Bach Gets It: Boris Johnson Edition (With Bonus Tikka)Post + Comments (63)

Election 2020 Open Thread: Yearning for Their White Dude

by Anne Laurie|  November 26, 201912:17 am| 61 Comments

This post is in: A Woman's Place Is In The House, Election 2020, Open Threads, Post-racial America, Vote Like Your Country Depends On It, All Too Normal, Ever Get The Feeling You've Been Cheated?, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

The way we live now…

Woman stood up in Creston & said it “really upsets me” that Bloomberg skipping Iowa. “It makes us Iowans look like nobodies." South Bend mayor response: "There are only so many tickets out of Iowa…not my place to tel any other campaign what to do." (transcript h/t @PriscillaWT) pic.twitter.com/uoSEQcnYyK

— Vaughn Hillyard (@VaughnHillyard) November 25, 2019

In response to @DJJudd about the predominately white pops of Iowa & NH compared to NV & SC, Buttigieg says “certainly each early state has a unique role” & notes that a “strong candidate will be competitive with every different kind of state.” https://t.co/3fbGRrnjBn pic.twitter.com/tdh4fiW7K5

— Vaughn Hillyard (@VaughnHillyard) November 25, 2019


They’re not racist-racist! It’s just that things have always been a certain way: Iowa was quadrenially important, and presidents were white. We tried experimenting with that last factor, and things went all to hell! Maybe America (not *them*, of course, but all those other voters) just isn’t ready for a(nother) President who isn’t white, and male!

Such a nice young man, that Mayor Pete…

"Among voters over 65 years of age, Biden dropped from 28 percent in August to 12 percent today, while Buttigieg has vaulted from 2 percent to 17 percent and now leads the field among seniors."https://t.co/9vokhnY7cq

— Jonathan Martin (@jmartNYT) November 26, 2019

Other candidates are gonna be less oblique, of course, because they’ve got their base locked down already:

In Salem NH, Bernie Sanders says “we need to accept” that a faction of Trump supporters are ‘racist and sexist’ and won’t be won over. But, he adds, “The majority of his supporters are probably people who are angry and disgusted at a system that has left them behind.”

— Sabrina Siddiqui (@SabrinaSiddiqui) November 25, 2019

show full post on front page

Election 2020 Open Thread: Yearning for Their White DudePost + Comments (61)

Late Night Open Thread: Clowns for the Clown Car God

by Anne Laurie|  November 25, 20192:45 am| 12 Comments

This post is in: Military, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Republican Venality, Trumpery, Assholes, Clown car, Decline and Fall, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

Incredibly cursed and also substantially less unrealistic than you would hope https://t.co/1teA7YAPxI

— The Mall Krampus (@cakotz) November 25, 2019

I mean, Priebus is out there too while we’re at it pic.twitter.com/F0DBlMxwLK

— Cargoshortasaurus (@leptopterygius) November 24, 2019

I *think* we can still joke about this, because Spicer doesn’t “look great on TV”, and Priebus hasn’t shown sufficient doglike loyalty to the Oval Office Occupant. As long as Pete Hegseth doesn’t want to give up his Fox News duties…

Late Night Open Thread: Clowns for the Clown <del>Car</del> GodPost + Comments (12)

Late Night Open Thread: Easy Targets

by Anne Laurie|  October 8, 20191:17 am| 48 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, Trumpery, #notintendedtobeafactualstatement, All Too Normal, I'm Too Big To Cry/Hurts Too Much To Laugh

you can do it, we believe in you https://t.co/TBWb2sjuIW

— Abraham Lincoln (@abradamlinkoln) October 6, 2019


“Marry for money, you’ll work for it later,” my Nana always said…
 

Trump: I am totally going to poop my pants

Everyone: He is going to poop his pants

Republicans: He’s just joking

Trump: <poops his pants>

Everyone: Yup, he pooped his pants

Republicans: People who hate pants-pooping are the real problem. pic.twitter.com/LcsFbyEKUz

— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) October 7, 2019

Late Night Open Thread: Easy TargetsPost + Comments (48)

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