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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

We can’t confuse what’s necessary to win elections with the policies that we want to implement when we do.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

“When somebody takes the time to draw up a playbook, they’re gonna use it.”

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

If you can’t control your emotions, someone else will.

The low info voters probably won’t even notice or remember by their next lap around the goldfish bowl.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

We can show the world that autocracy can be defeated.

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Nothing says ‘pro-life’ like letting children go hungry.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory.  oh, and pink furry handcuffs.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

People are weird.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

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You are here: Home / Archives for 2017

Archives for 2017

Xmas Evening Open Thread

by Anne Laurie|  December 25, 20175:37 pm| 77 Comments

This post is in: Music, Open Threads


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From irrepressible commentor OldGold:

How is Christmas like an ordinary day at the office?

You do all the work and a fat guy in a bad suit gets all the credit.

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The snowplow guy, bless him, showed up (we didn’t expect him!) to remove the ice barricade at the end of the driveway, and the Spousal Unit is using his new electric snowblower on the walk. After getting a (surprisingly nice!) Frasier fir yesterday, we decided to wait to decorate it until after this evening’s traditional meal at our favorite Chinese restaurant. So I’m good for the evening…

Hope y’all are equally pleased with your Juul choices, whatever those might be!

***********

Reactions to Socks as a Christmas Gift by Calendar Age:

0-3: blurb nurg (eats socks)
4-12: oh, socks
13-18: (SIGH) socks are you FUCKING serious
19-39: oh thank god, something useful, thank god
40+: Warm feet are the solitary joy remaining to me in this dark and fallen world

— The Lynch who Stole Christmas (@scottlynch78) December 23, 2017

Xmas Evening Open ThreadPost + Comments (77)

Christmas Open Thread

by Alain Chamot (1971-2020)|  December 25, 20174:14 pm| 78 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

I’m cooking, which is making me happy.

Open Thread!

Christmas Open ThreadPost + Comments (78)

Quiet Christmas Open Thread

by TaMara|  December 25, 201711:15 am| 118 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

Pretty tired today and plan to emulate the Beast as much as I can. I am planning on cooking a standing rib roast and sides (recipe here) later today.

 

What are you up to today? Family, friends….stress? Here’s a good place to connect if you need a break or support.

Open thread.

P.S. Last night I received a six week picture of Scout – you can click over here to see it.  Yes, I’m terrible, because I’m enjoying these “puppy reveals”.

 

Quiet Christmas Open ThreadPost + Comments (118)

On the Road and In Your Backyard: Movies

by Alain Chamot (1971-2020)|  December 25, 20175:00 am| 50 Comments

This post is in: On The Road, Open Threads, Readership Capture

Good Morning All,

Merry Christmas to all, or just “have a great day/night”. I’m 46 and it’s been amazing to me watching how Christmas as celebrated in North America, England, and continental Europe has infiltrated non-Christian countries. In Japan, they eat fried chicken – thank you Col. Sanders – and I’ve seen great non-Christian celebrations in Singapore and Hong Kong.

Really, they celebrate gift-giving, lights, good food, friends and family, in a civic festival context. This is good – there’s a certain non-religious aspect of Christmas that is truly the reason for the season for so many, captured well during an opening to a Christmas Doctor Who special a few years back (“well done, you can make it through the dark, etc.”). Which reminds me – are you as pumped for the female Doctor’s debut? I wish my mother had lived to see it, for she watched the original broadcasts in London when she was young, and remained a lifelong fan. Like so many things, I owe my love of something amazing to her having blazed a path.

So I wish you all some joy and happiness to you and yours on this Christmas day, and may the rest of this year be merry.

With that, I will not be sharing pictures today, but two offbeat movie recommendations. The first one’s a fun Finnish Christmas movie, so long as you don’t mind seeing lots – and I mean LOTS – of naked old men with saggy balls. Don’t let that turn you off – this is a really great movie.

The next one isn’t a Christmas movie – really anti-Christian in a way – yet it’s a similar modern European exploration of myths and legends set in winter mountains. I find this kind of exploration of myth and legend so completely fulfilling, like great reinventions of ghost stories. I’d recommend seeing them with English subtitles, especially with Trollhunter – Norwegian just sounds so nice to the ear.

https://youtu.be/TLEo7H9tqSM

Bonus:

Very silly vampire movie, with more instances of the word “fuck” than any movie known. If you need to bust a stitch laughing your ass off and don’t mind profanity, this is a great escape. Enjoy!

 

And with that, Merry Christmas to all. I’ll have pictures and more normal content tomorrow!

To submit pictures: Use the Form or Send an Email

On the Road and In Your Backyard: MoviesPost + Comments (50)

Monday Morning Open Thread: Merry Xmas (If You Can)

by Anne Laurie|  December 25, 20174:41 am| 82 Comments

This post is in: Music, Open Threads

He deserves it pic.twitter.com/COgU6rUTpS

— Popehat Needs A Babymamma (@Popehat) December 11, 2017

Merry Christmas to all, and to @realDonaldTrump: Happy Holidays.

— John Dingell (@JohnDingell) December 24, 2017


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How’s the Official USA Yule Holiday treating you, o Balloon-Juice jackals?

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The most British story ever:

For 12 years, my husband gave his neighbour a six-pack of beer at Christmas, and received a box of chocolates. They thanked each other warmly.

My husband couldn’t eat the chocolates as he’s vegan, and later found out that his neighbour was teetotal.

— Ariane Sherine (@ArianeSherine) December 2, 2017


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Merry Christmas, everyone. Waiting for Santa to bring the gift of peace, love and understanding. Needed more than ever. @ElvisCostello

— Preet Bharara (@PreetBharara) December 25, 2017


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Monday Morning Open Thread: Merry Xmas (If You Can)Post + Comments (82)

Late Night Open Thread: Musical Interlude

by Anne Laurie|  December 25, 20171:46 am| 28 Comments

This post is in: Music, Open Threads, All we want is life beyond the thunderdome

(My favorite Christmas carol, and one written by a Jewish composer. The grocery where Guilherme Assunção currently works is not quite close enough that we shop there, but given the number of small venues around here, I’m hoping to see him on a larger stage someday.)

I’m guessing there are still West Coast jackals wrapping last-minute gifts / finishing the meal prep / waiting for the travel-delayed relatives to show up. Not to mention those in more distant climes, now cleaning up after the big celebration (possibly nursing sunburns to go with the incipient hangovers.

Merry Whatever-Year-End-Celebration, y’all!

Late Night Open Thread: Musical InterludePost + Comments (28)

Merry Christmas Eve

by John Cole|  December 24, 20178:48 pm| 159 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

I bought Dom, Taylor, and Brienne (Gerald’s kids) an Xbox one, and they have their Christmas tonight and called and they are over the moon. Gerald and his wife (they’re the ones who got married in my dad’s back yard) bought them a bunch of games, so it worked out real well. They’re super good kids, and I don’t really have anyone for whom to buy gifts, so this was nice.

Currently watching my own personal vikings marathon and am going to have some homemade vanilla ice cream with fresh pineapple chunks because I forgot to buy strawberries but they suck this time of year anyway and this pineapple is super ripe. My town is super quiet, my parents and family are in South Carolina at my parents winter rental, and we are supposed to get snow tonight, so things are looking pretty solid.

And before you ask, there are two reasons I do not go to the beach with my family. The first is logistics- I would rather low crawl through manure than drive 12 hours with three dogs to go to a small beach cottage with my family and my sister’s dogs, my brother’s dogs, and my parents dogs. Plus I know their internet will be shitty.

The second is principle- for 20+ years with the exception of when I was overseas in the military or working retail and volunteered to work doubles so the folks with kids could take off, I had to drive my ass to Bethany for every god damned Christmas. Then I move 100 yards down the street from my parents, and the assholes move Christmas three states away. I can take a hint.

Finally, I talked to GeG tonight, and I demanded Lovey pictures:

I think that pudgy little girl is my spirit beast.

Merry Christmas EvePost + Comments (159)

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