Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

No one could have predicted…

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

Imperialist aggressors must be defeated, or the whole world loses.

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Second rate reporter says what?

Bark louder, little dog.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Tick tock motherfuckers!

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

In my day, never was longer.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Because of wow. / (Ass) Blast From The Past

(Ass) Blast From The Past

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Get up, human, it’s breakfast time

Look at that face. Adorable, elegant, lovingly demanding. Let us step back to Hime’s first Christmas with the family.

Rock & Roller Gal

There she is. A delicate little flower.

2 Handfuls of Cat For Christmas

Brother Odoriki had the kitty snuffles when he was adopted, hence the booger snout. Hime was just naturally perfect. Or so I thought. So, on Christmas Day, Hime demonstrated she had a tender stomach. And a bad case of the runs. Worse, she was intimidated by the litterbox. And shadows, slight motions, a slight breeze. She was a complete coward about everything and still is Queen Jitters. After the 3rd cleanup of a poop spill outside the low box, I was determined that this time, I’d wait patiently and just help her keep her tiny butt in the giant litterbox.

This, of course, did not go well. It’s Christmas morning, I’ve been cleaning all week and the result of my frustrated attempt at kitten corralling was… a tiny white projectile spraying liquid shit across the linoleum, the carpeted downstairs, up the stairs and under the sofa.

I really wanted to cry. My lovely quiet Christmas was a fetid, poop garlanded mess. My housemate came down to see what the hubbub was about and managed to pin Herself. We looked at each other and just burst out laughing. Finally, after capturing the little biological weapon, I called my friend’s dad, who’s a large animal vet as well as the head of an NGO that teaches about zoonosis & husbandry in African countries, and drove her over for a Christmas freebie checkup. We cleaned EVERYTHING, including her butt and put her on very simple food for a day or so. The rest of Christmas was lovely, since she forgave her humans for daring to pen her and get her muddbutt checked out.

Yes, I was still finding little poop spots days later. But I feel very loved. Merry Not Stinky Christmas!

Merry Christmas To All & To All A Good Night

Reader Interactions

22Comments

  4. 4.

    opiejeanne

    Merry Christmas, Rue and kitties. So far no barf at chez opiejeanne’s, and that’s a great start to the day.

  6. 6.

    debbie

    I haven’t been owned by a kitten for decades, but my friends tell me it’s always the long haired ones with the poop issues.

  8. 8.

    Mike in NC

    We just visited friends down the street who proudly showed off a new “Trump Toilet Brush” they got for Christmas as a gag gift. Didn’t get a picture but a quick Google search brought up several versions of the thing, which will definitely “Make Your Toilet Great Again (believe me)”! Maybe now they won’t have to flush 10 or 15 times.

  9. 9.

    Patricia Kayden

    Whether you’re celebrating #Christmas or not, whether you're on holiday or not, be respectful & learn to coexist peacefully. Learn to accept difference of opinion. Imposing your opinion on others won't heal the ailing globe. Hate less & love more. Think hard about this.— ????? ???? (@muftimenk) December 25, 2019

  14. 14.

    Gelfling 545

    So my daughters got together & made me a Christmas present. I watch it & weep a bit & watch it again. I’ll share it here before I run out on the street & start sharing with passing strangers. I’m that proud. Their accompanist is my son in law.
    song here.

  20. 20.

    Shebs

    Ah, this post makes me want to dig up the tales of Cole’s ShitMas.

    (I’ve lurked forever but never comment.  Hello all!)

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