I don't want to be too snarky but Trump needs to close a big polling deficit and this is the message on a day with 80k new COVID cases and a 940 point decline in the Dow. https://t.co/aJ4kPawfmb
— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) October 29, 2020
Adam’s already done a sercon (serious, constructive) post on the merits of Carlson’s Very Important Schpy Schtuff, but I want y’all to know that Joe Biden’s social media team is skilled.
We disagree with Tucker Carlson on the issues, but no one should ever lose their mail. Joe will make sure the USPS receives the funding it needs to prevent this from happening, and end Trump and DeJoy's efforts to sabotage it so that people like Tucker can get their mail on time.
— Biden | Harris War Room (Text JOE to 30330) (@BidenWarRoom) October 29, 2020
Of course, once his ‘dog ate my big reveal’ story was shown for the shabby farce it was, the pretense was dropped…
UPS has found Tucker Carlson’s mystery package of Biden papers, suggesting it wasn’t stolen by the deep state after all. https://t.co/5iYPG9SDMx
— Will Sommer (@willsommer) October 29, 2020
Last night, Tucker was claiming the mystery package’s disappearance was proof someone was spying on his text messages. Starting to think that’s not the case!
— Will Sommer (@willsommer) October 29, 2020
But in the interim, much entertainment was had:
Maybe Trump's postal inspectors thought it was a ballot. https://t.co/x5uC98U5F0
— Mig Greengard (@chessninja) October 29, 2020
Need to find that DeJoy fella posthaste…
— The Great War & Modern Memory (@ps9714) October 29, 2020
This is – and I do not say this lightly – the dumbest fucking thing this dumb motherfucker has ever broadcast.
The Boya from La Jolla alleges his team had critical documents but didn’t bother making a copy and just dropped them in a FedEx where nefarious things occurred!
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 29, 2020
why would tucker ship a bunch of documents via delivery when he could just scan them and post them on stormfront like usual.
— the ribald sportsman (@CalmSporting) October 29, 2020
so if I have this straight someone is reading tucker’s texts about fed-exing a nondescript envelope cross country and within minutes covertly infiltrating the fed-ex logistics chain and surreptitiously locating then stealing the contents of an envelope but leaving the envelope https://t.co/PVREk2nhcQ
— kilgore trout, tucker carlson’s mailman (@KT_So_It_Goes) October 29, 2020
the tucker stolen mail thing is absolutely a heat check, like a guy hoisting three pointers from further and further away to see if they keep dropping. his deranged fans will buy it, and he’ll hoist more shots even further out.
in short, it will get worse
— the ribald sportsman (@CalmSporting) October 29, 2020
this is like your third reminder this week that there is no one in america who holds as much contempt for the average republican voter's intelligence than the average professional republican, and it's not even close
— GET FUCKING MAD ABOUT IT MACHINE (@golikehellmachi) October 29, 2020
Does Tucker realize how dumb this makes him look?
— Molly Jong-Fast? (@MollyJongFast) October 30, 2020
Leaving this here for absolutely no reason: ""Fox persuasively argues, that given Mr. Carlson's reputation, any reasonable viewer 'arrive[s] with an appropriate amount of skepticism' about the statement he makes."https://t.co/BYJ9tfuB43
— Kendra "Gloom is My Beat" Pierre-Louis (@KendraWrites) October 29, 2020
If nothing else, these morons are making me laugh.
Not be out clowned? Have we forgotten Trump already?
Where it all began:
<iframe width=”545″ height=”409″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/z3U0udLH974″ frameborder=”0″ allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture” allowfullscreen></iframe>
Rough translation: “Fuck you, Carlson. Go get your shinebox and polish your fucking clown shoes.”
@Achrachno: Carlson is the ridiculous clown. Trump is the menacing psycho clown. They’re both parallel paths in the famous “Clown School of White Supremacy”.
@Winston: Sorry about that. AL if you would be kind enough to delete that…
@MisterForkbeard: Pennywise and Penniless!
OK, thanks for breaking info on Biden giga-scandal.
Will Fox News evacuate its studios so UPS can’t schedule another deliver attempt? Hmmmm…. Will that be more evidence that the Deep State conspiracy has taken over the entire universe?
Scary, very scary.
Open thread, you say?
The Internet has brought to my attention this cat named Samwise, who is not the cat named Samwise we normally see around these parts: https://imgur.com/gallery/1HVgrKB
@Manxome Bromide: Definitely looks like two different Samwise cats, and two different human approaches to house pets.
This is comforting.
well its simply another illustration that there is no depth to which they will not sink….
we can’t “nail” Sleepy Joe, so we’ll go after his kid, we know he’s “soft” on his family
won’t matter what we say about him, because his dad is famous, we can say whatever the fuck we want
but as flimsy as our half-baked” scandal is, we’ll treat it with all the reverence it deserves.. after all, if we can peddle this bullshit, we have to treat it with the reverence needed to sell it… oops, I guess not.
These guys are fond of saying that “both sides” are just as guilty, well then thank you, I’ll vote for Dems because at the bare minimum, they’re competent villains who don’t get caught with their dicks in their hands with the cameras rolling.
They keep making me feel smart.
And I’m a dumbass.
The entire mishegoss was a waste of digital real estate yesterday, is a waste of it today and will be a waste of it at any time in the future.
The last tweet…NPR headline…
You Literally Can’t Believe The Facts Tucker Carlson Tells You. So Say Fox’s Lawyers
If FOX’S lawyers have concluded that Tucker spews bullshit and lies, it’s pretty clear those aren’t FACTS. NPR is a failure at reporting facts and is content with promoting propaganda and lies.
@Martin: In a way, it actually *is* good news!
IIRC, WalMart’s been trying to slide out of the guns’n’ammo market for some years — it’s just not profitable enough to be worth the shelf space, much less the potential for putting off non-ammosexual customers.
Every time they move the stuff behind the counter ‘just temporarily’, it’s an excuse to keep them there. If they choose to use ‘scary antifa n**** rioters!!!’ as an excuse, well, they know who’s gonna yowl about the removal.
Actual meat hunters will get their supplies from dedicated suppliers (probably much of it online, like everything else these days). Impulse domestic shooters and dumbarse ‘hold mah beer’ fools will have to work marginally harder to act out their worst impulses.
The amazing thing about Trump voters is that they don’t care what the truth is. They far prefer soothing lies, even if all of them contradict each other.
I just turned on Tucker and saw some guy named Glum Greenwad or something like that say the CIA, Deep State operatives, neocons, Bush Cheney operatives, Silicon Valley and Wall Street have a union of power who are fully behind the Democratic Party who are censoring suppressive authoritarians and could take over the government and that would a very alarming proposition.
Get these prosecutors over here ASAP:
Please, oh, please FSM, make it so here.
@Anne Laurie: There a plenty of other places to purchase firearms even here in the People’s Republic of California. The alternatives are more expensive though.
Intercept EIC lets Glenn Greenwald have it:
I have summoned noodly appendages.
Fixed! You’re welcome! :)
David ?Booooooo!? Koch
@Rokka: cocaine is a hellva drug
Trying again. This is completely OT for Amir Khalid.
I found a meme that said:
If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
Remember happiness comes from guitars, not relationships.
The October surprise is such a joke. Anything the republicans could come up with, Trump has already done. At this point, I would truly love to meet an undecided voter because what piece of information could they possibly be waiting on? And I keep hearing the race is tightening. Really? Someone sat through 20 straight political ads and decided to switch sides?
The deciding is over. Its all up to the process now.
Why do you ignore the relationship with the guitar?
News of this depressed the hell out of me when I heard about it tonight — not because I expected many people to believe it, but because people believing it seemed not so much the point of it. This has looked like power flexing in public about its capacity for ruining the lives of people who cross it, a message seemingly aimed more at future political actors than at present ones. Want to run for office? Expect this.
It’s topical because Fucker Carlson with a white supremacist Nazi shitstain.
Could some kind person please explain this simile to me?
I assume it’s some kind of sports reference, but I can’t even figure out what sport it is. If I could, I’d look it up myself.
(ETA: And where in the world did that weird font come from?
(ETA2: And why did the weird font suddenly disappear? QUIT FUCKING WITH ME, 2020!)
@lol chikinburd: Everything Republicans do now is about pwning the libs. It’s all they have left.
@SiubhanDuinne: Basketball. Outside a certain line on the floor, a basket is awarded 3 points.
@SiubhanDuinne: Basketball. There’s a line on the court where if you make a basket beyond that line it’s worth three points. The point being that making such a shot is hard so repeatedly trying is rather difficult. The metaphor is a wee bit strained methinks.
EDIT: Annnd Opie gets there before I do. :P
In other words, Trump’s base choose to dine on bullshit.
Why, thank you.
Ok, let me see if I’ve got this straight. Tucker says that his letter has been stolen from the mail, but it’s really a package that was dropped in the Fed Ex box, and UPS has located it. If it was sent by UPS or FedEx, it can be traced by the sender or the intended receiver. Twits.
And what has all of that got to do with someone reading his messages? Of course someone is reading them, you twits. Probably more than one of our fine security agencies, like the NSA.
@Yutsano: I admit the Heat Check threw me, but I figured it out from the rest.
@Amir Khalid: Anthrax and tire rims.
Guitars never make a commitment, they just string you along. Not to mention argumentative recalcitrance – a stubborn insistence on keeping both your hands full before reaching ‘accord.’
@opiejeanne: I can’t even recall where I heard heat check before. I just noticed it must be fairly recent. Also: hockey wants its metaphor back please and thank you.
OMG! Doug Emhoff was in my hometown in Akron Ohio at a Goodyear union hall today and I missed it!
ETA Of course my and my husband’s family were Goodrich and Firestone, but still rubber workers (now steelworkers.) Go Kamala!
They’re not undecided. They’re waiting on that sweet sweet justification to vote for Drumpf over Biden. But it has to be at least somewhat believable so they can feel smug at Thanksgiving even if he loses. “Well at least I didn’t vote for Biden because…” That’s it. That’s all they’re waiting on.
It’s clear that you’ve never been in a relationship with a guitar. ;)
@Amir Khalid: Gave my guitar to my step grand-daughter. She plays it a lot. I still miss it and playing, but I do not miss the calluses on my fingertips. Nice to have a sense of touch.
Thank you both. I’ve (obviously) never followed basketball, but I have certainly heard the term “three-pointer.”
Wonder if I might have figured it out on my own if I hadn’t just that minute woken up.
Is anyone else getting this ad? What is it all about, and what benighted algorithm thinks it’s a good fit either for me or for Balloon Juice?
Yes. I think most people know the truth, deep down. But they suppress that knowledge because what they get, even from a cult, serves their needs in ways they can’t figure out themselves.
My theory on this springs from that classic study that started the whole cognitive dissonance discussion. People joined a small town cult and prepared for the aliens to come and take them away. When the ship didn’t arrive, some of them fell away, and some doubled down.
Their preparations were painstaking, took weeks, and included NO METAL, like zippers on pants or eyelets on their shoes. Which they all eliminated.
But none of them even thought about the fillings in their teeth. If they really believed, I think someone would have thought of it.
I’ve read a lot of ex-cult-member memoirs over the past few years. Their doubts might not rise to consciousness because of the anti-process cult followers get pounded into their heads.
But it’s still there, and it’s like holding a beach ball under water. One slip, and it pops to the surface.
@SiubhanDuinne: Any of them moshpotatos?
@SiubhanDuinne: That is very weird.
When it comes to the spud vote, the eyes have it.
@Amir Khalid: You’re welcome. It also gives you a snappy comeback if you are buying a new guitar…
@NotMax: I knew you would chip in with a pun
Have not seen it but wanted to mention this unexpected production is available on Prime.
Yukon count on it.
@NotMax: (Looks and NotMax, shakes head).
@WereBear: ” Holding a beachball under water.”
I wil remember that imagery for quite a while.
@NotMax: I bet you feel so superior and I don’t want to pike but agata no answer to that (not having your talent and desperately trying to find jeux de mot amongst the list of potato cultivars on Wikipedia) :-)
That’s why we woodwind players are superior.
Deft with tongue and finger while gently caressing the curved body and producing a smooth amber tone glistening with warmth.
Youse over there picking away trying to find a fret.
Oh, and Melania appeared on Seth Meyers earlier.
@HumboldtBlue: Are you taking requests? One ‘Sultans of Swing’ solo on alto sax please.
When Carlson and Fox won a court case by successfully arguing that his show is not meant to be taken seriously, you’d think that would sort of undermine his claim on every future broadcast. I don’t know who the judge was on the case, but I assume a right wing hack who ignored the obviously too large number of social media users who refer to information “learned” from his show. I would also think a judge would require a label on the broadcast that it is not intended to be taken seriously.
@WereBear: Yes, this. And according to the Atlantic article on it, one woman DID think of her fillings, but didn’t say anything, I suppose out of fear that her fellow cult members would leave her out or pull her teeth lol
Wasn’t it also lost in the mail? And of course FedEx, UPS are not the USPS, even though they may use the service for that last few miles, because it’s cheaper than having a truck/driver to cover large areas with few paying customers.
Dine on it, breath it, scrub with it, as long as two things happen.
That’s it. That’s all there is to it.
@germy: The decision is, by the way, legal horse-pucky. More Trump judge “justice.” No way that question can be resolved as a matter of law.