• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

In my day, never was longer.

He really is that stupid.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

People are complicated. Love is not.

I’m pretty sure there’s only one Jack Smith.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

JFC, are there no editors left at that goddamn rag?

Roe isn’t about choice, it’s about freedom.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / Late Night Open Thread: The Man Who Would Be King (of the Hill)

Late Night Open Thread: The Man Who Would Be King (of the Hill)

by Anne Laurie|  August 31, 202110:16 pm| 122 Comments

This post is in: Foreign Affairs, Open Threads, Republican Stupidity, All Too Normal

FacebookTweetEmail

A wild scoop: A GOP lawmaker has been trying to travel to *Taliban-controlled Afghanistan* in a rogue evacuation mission despite efforts by the Pentagon & State Dept to discourage him. Officials are unsure of his current whereabouts. From @tylerpager & me https://t.co/MpieNxGNTU

— John Hudson (@John_Hudson) August 31, 2021

Somebody tell the Erroll Flynn Twins (Reps. Moulton / Meijer) what they’ve inspired:

The call to the U.S. ambassador to Tajikistan came in Monday. On the line, two U.S. officials said, was Rep. Markwayne Mullin (R-Okla.) with an unusual and urgent request: He needed assistance in transporting a huge amount of cash into the country, saying he was going to neighboring Afghanistan to rescue five American citizens, a woman and her four children, stuck in the country. They planned to hire a helicopter for the effort.

Mullin told the embassy that he planned to fly from Tblisi, Georgia, into Tajikistan’s capital, Dushanbe, in the next few hours and needed the top diplomat’s help, according to the two U.S. officials familiar with the incident, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to disclose private conversations about a sensitive matter.

The answer was no. Embassy officials told Mullin they could not assist him in skirting Tajikistan’s laws on cash limits on his way to visiting one of the most dangerous places on earth.

Mullin was outraged by the response, the officials said — threatening U.S. ambassador John Mark Pommersheim and embassy staff and demanding to know the name of staff members he was speaking with.

The episode marked Mullin’s second attempt to travel to Afghanistan in as many weeks for an unauthorized evacuation effort despite the perilous security environment. Last week, Mullin traveled to Greece and asked the Department of Defense for permission to visit Kabul. The Pentagon denied Mullin’s request, an administration official said.

Mullin’s behavior has alarmed top U.S. officials who say he has gone to extraordinary lengths to defy U.S. warnings. The attempt follows an unauthorized trip to Afghanistan by Reps. Seth Moulton (D-Mass) and Peter Meijer (R-Mich.) last week, which Pentagon and State Department officials criticized as a public relations stunt that sapped government resources during a national-security crisis.

As of late Tuesday, U.S. officials said they were unsure of Mullin’s location. Mullin’s office did not respond to multiple requests for comment…

Mullin, 44, grew up in Stilwell, Okla., where he was a standout wrestler and earned a scholarship to Missouri Valley College. Injuries derailed his athletic career, and at age 20, he took over his father’s plumbing business. He was also briefly a professional mixed martial arts fighter, and after being elected to Congress in 2012, he became known on the Hill for leading intense workout classes. A member of the conservative Republican Study Committee, Mullin voted against the certification of the 2020 election results.

Unlike Moulton and Meijer, Mullin did not serve in the U.S. military. He has been an outspoken critic of the Biden administration’s exit from Afghanistan…

CD and Senior Advisor for [Dem] Jim Himes:

Markwayne used to constantly wander into our legislative office because the door was next to his personal office and he got confused. Not the guy I would choose for this particular op.

— Patrick Malone (@patrickmorland) September 1, 2021

Dunno, Mr. Malone — Mullin might not be the most useful choice, but he’s certainly representative of his particular party’s stance here…

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « It’s a Touch Damp Here
Next Post: On The Road – ?BillinGlendaleCA – A Bridge with No Name… On The Road -  ?BillinGlendaleCA - A Bridge with No Name... 3»

Reader Interactions

122Comments

  1. 1.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    August 31, 2021 at 10:17 pm

    future generations will no longer refer to the War of Jenkins’ Ear, but the War For Markwayne’s Fannypack

  2. 2.

    Ken

    August 31, 2021 at 10:22 pm

    I’m really torn between thinking:

    • This is his own scam, and if he gets the huge bundle of cash he’s just going to run off to Dubai or some such place.
    • He’s fallen for a version of the NIgerian Prince email and when he shows up in Tajikistan with the huge bundle of cash he’ll be robbed, and probably have his organs harvested.
  3. 3.

    Gemina13

    August 31, 2021 at 10:24 pm

    As of late Tuesday, U.S. officials said they were unsure of Mullin’s location. Mullin’s office did not respond to multiple requests for comment…

    Anyone get the idea that the officials aren’t going to look that hard, either?

    All Republicans are idiots, and this man is definitely their King.  Play stupid games, win even stupider prizes.

  4. 4.

    Another Scott

    August 31, 2021 at 10:27 pm

    No clicks from me; from the excerpt:

    “transporting a huge amount of cash”

    Um, what’s that in dollars?

    “stuck in the country”

    Why are they “stuck” when the Taliban was letting Americans leave?

    “They planned to hire a helicopter for the effort.”

    Does Enterprise rent helicopters in Kabul?

    So many questions… :-/

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  5. 5.

    dmsilev

    August 31, 2021 at 10:28 pm

    The answer was no. Embassy officials told Mullin they could not assist him in skirting Tajikistan’s laws on cash limits on his way to visiting one of the most dangerous places on earth.

    Mullin was outraged by the response, the officials said — threatening U.S. ambassador John Mark Pommersheim and embassy staff and demanding to know the name of staff members he was speaking with.

    This is taking Karening to a whole new level.

  6. 6.

    sdhays

    August 31, 2021 at 10:29 pm

    Well, I guess that’s one way to decrease the Republican House minority.

  7. 7.

    Gin & Tonic

    August 31, 2021 at 10:30 pm

    Smuggle illegal quantities of cash into Tajikistan and try to make it overland into Afghanistan. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

  8. 8.

    Poe Larity

    August 31, 2021 at 10:30 pm

    He should have just dropped Rod Dreher’s name.

  9. 9.

    Splitting Image

    August 31, 2021 at 10:32 pm

    Wouldn’t it have been easier for him to just rant about vaccinations and die of COVID?

  10. 10.

    Anne Laurie

    August 31, 2021 at 10:32 pm

    @Ken: I personally doubt Mullin’s ‘thinking’ went any deeper than Those snooty Moulton & Meijer guys got spots on all the fancy teevee news shows, and they didn’t even bring back any cute lil American souvenirs refugees!

    Which is, y’know, why Moulton / Meijer should’ve known better than to set a bad example for their less gifted colleagues…

  11. 11.

    Wag

    August 31, 2021 at 10:33 pm

    @Another Scott:

    Does Enterprise rent helicopters in Kabul?

    No, but Blackwater would be happy to help out.  For a price.

  12. 12.

    dmsilev

    August 31, 2021 at 10:33 pm

    After due reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is the obligation and duty of all Republican lawmakers, judges, media personalities, etc., to procure transportation bringing them to the backcountry of Afghanistan on vaguely-specified ‘rescue’ missions.

    I see no real downside. It won’t really inconvenience the locals much, and it would definitely improve things here.

  13. 13.

    HumboldtBlue

    August 31, 2021 at 10:35 pm

    The motherfucker’s parents named him Markwayne. If that isn’t an instant signal you have birthed a blithering fumblefuck nothing else will.

    You know this clown has an aunt named Uncle Junior.

  14. 14.

    Mike in NC

    August 31, 2021 at 10:35 pm

    Never heard of a Markwayne before. Seriously?

  15. 15.

    MontyTheClipArtMongoose

    August 31, 2021 at 10:36 pm

    @dmsilev: the new kony2012

  16. 16.

    Tehanu

    August 31, 2021 at 10:36 pm

    I liked the comment in the Twitter thread that said, basically, why don’t we just tell these bozos how strong and manly they are? Maybe that would satisfy their deep psychological needs and they wouldn’t act out like three-year-olds.

  17. 17.

    MontyTheClipArtMongoose

    August 31, 2021 at 10:37 pm

    Among Indigenous MMA fighters in the People’s House —

    Sharice Davids > Markwayne Mullin

    Also, fuckBrentWelder with Nina Turner’s hot comb

  18. 18.

    Ken

    August 31, 2021 at 10:38 pm

    @Anne Laurie: Maybe Moulton and Meijer planned this all along, to trim down the number of their less gifted colleagues?  I know it’s Meijer(R), but maybe he’s one of the semi-sane Rs?

  19. 19.

    Ken

    August 31, 2021 at 10:40 pm

    @Mike in NC: Never heard of a Markwayne before. Seriously?

    Maybe it’s “Mark Wayne Note Spelling Mullin”?

  20. 20.

    HumboldtBlue

    August 31, 2021 at 10:40 pm

    There is no rule that says dogs can’t do the weather report.

  21. 21.

    Butter Emails

    August 31, 2021 at 10:41 pm

    @Ken: 
    I’m really torn between thinking:

    This is his own scam, and if he gets the huge bundle of cash he’s just going to run off to Dubai or some such place.
    He’s fallen for a version of the NIgerian Prince email and when he shows up in Tajikistan with the huge bundle of cash he’ll be robbed, and probably have his organs harvested.

    Pretty much my thoughts exactly.

  22. 22.

    smith

    August 31, 2021 at 10:44 pm

    I’m trying to imagine the scenario in which an American woman takes her four children to Afghanistan and doesn’t leave when warned to do so. Not the usual summer vacation trip. The only thing I can come up with is she’s an Afghani-American woman visiting her family (or an American married to an Afghani), in which case getting her and the children out might be a bit more complicated than the idiot thinks, especially if the family doesn’t want them to leave.

  23. 23.

    Splitting Image

    August 31, 2021 at 10:47 pm

    @Mike in NC:

    Never heard of a Markwayne before. Seriously?

    He’s trying to break out of the shadow of his older brother Brucewayne.

  24. 24.

    dr. bloor

    August 31, 2021 at 10:47 pm

    @Ken:

     
    I know which possibility I’d buy a ticket to see.

  25. 25.

    Tony Gerace

    August 31, 2021 at 10:49 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: A strong contender for a Darwin Award.

  26. 26.

    bbleh

    August 31, 2021 at 10:50 pm

    So … does this mean that violence and money without any coherent plan isn’t a recipe for success in Afghanistan?

  27. 27.

    dr. bloor

    August 31, 2021 at 10:52 pm

    @Mike in NC: ​
     

    Never heard of a Markwayne before. Seriously?

    Right? Imagine naming your kid to steer him towards being a serial killer, and ending up with this slapdick instead. Total parenting fail.

  28. 28.

    Flanders Other Neighbor

    August 31, 2021 at 10:53 pm

    I have no questions about this mission.  Let him go and encourage him to take his peers.

  29. 29.

    George

    August 31, 2021 at 10:55 pm

    Based on a personal situation I have been dealing with for a year, I think many people like Markwayne can be best described as “stupid psychopaths.”

  30. 30.

    piratedan

    August 31, 2021 at 10:57 pm

    I’m pretty much of the opinion that we should keep sending GOP Congressmen after him until we either run out of them or they bring home Nathan Jr and his family… or my name isn’t Nathan Arizona.

  31. 31.

    Barbara

    August 31, 2021 at 10:58 pm

    @smith: In 1979 a friend of a friend who had married an Iranian man found herself trapped in Teheran. Their kids were American citizens but the dad wasn’t. She was able to leave with the assistance of another western embassy — Canada, I believe.​ You need the help of someone with diplomatic status, not a rogue Rambo type.

  32. 32.

    prostratedragon

    August 31, 2021 at 11:01 pm

    @piratedan:  Great minds and all.  Why can’t we get a string of Senators to try. Cruz loves to travel,  for instance.

  33. 33.

    Brachiator

    August 31, 2021 at 11:04 pm

    Mullin, 44, grew up in Stilwell, Okla., where he was a standout wrestler and earned a scholarship to Missouri Valley College. Injuries derailed his athletic career, and at age 20, he took over his father’s plumbing business.

    Sounds like he maybe took a few too many hits to the head.

    BTW, The Man Who Would Be King is a very good film. And maybe a timely rental or purchase.

  34. 34.

    jeepers

    August 31, 2021 at 11:06 pm

    @MontyTheClipArtMongoose:

    Also, fuckBrentWelder with Nina Turner’s hot comb

    What’s with the fucking people with torture devices about around here anyway? Seems to come up a lot. Doesn’t reflect well on the site.

  35. 35.

    Steve in the ATL

    August 31, 2021 at 11:07 pm

    @Barbara: someone should make a movie about that—maybe Ben Affleck….

  36. 36.

    Comrade Colette

    August 31, 2021 at 11:09 pm

    Assuming whatever cash money he has with him was grifted from his equally intellectually endowed base: please proceed, Congressman.

    Also, I know I’m shouting into the wind, but the people are Afghan, or Afghans. ‘Afghani’ is the name of their currency – or of an apparently particularly potent strain of cannabis.

  37. 37.

    Another Scott

    August 31, 2021 at 11:09 pm

    And another thing…

    Mullin, 44, grew up in Stilwell, Okla., where he was a standout wrestler and earned a scholarship to Missouri Valley College. Injuries derailed his athletic career, and at age 20, he took over his father’s plumbing business. He was also briefly a professional mixed martial arts fighter […]

    “briefly”?? Like he was the chump that got beat up by design, or something?

    Too many TBIs??

    Wikipedia:

    In April 2017, Mullin drew criticism when he was recorded during a town hall meeting telling his constituents that it was “bullcrap” that taxpayers pay his salary. He said, “I pay for myself. I paid enough taxes before I got here and continue to through my company to pay my own salary. This is a service. No one here pays me to go.”[18]

    Hmm…

    He helped barricade the House chamber on 1/6.

    He’s an enrolled Cherokee.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  38. 38.

    David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch

    August 31, 2021 at 11:09 pm

    Biden’s disastrous month continues.

    ?? Canada’s women’s hockey team defeats United States 3-2 in overtime comeback, winning World Championship

    It’s going home.? ???​

  39. 39.

    NotMax

    August 31, 2021 at 11:10 pm

    Mullin has graced these august pages before.

  40. 40.

    Suzanne

    August 31, 2021 at 11:13 pm

    Markwayne

    Come ON. WTF. They’re not even trying.

  41. 41.

    Mike in NC

    August 31, 2021 at 11:13 pm

    @dr. bloor: I never had a son but would have considered naming him Wayne Gacy if I did.

  42. 42.

    Urza

    August 31, 2021 at 11:16 pm

    Open thread so…
    If the supreme court lets this Texas abortion law stand where you could sue anyone who ‘might’ be associated with something legal but potentially deadly.  What’s to stop California from making it legal to sue absolutely anybody who ‘might’ be involved with selling, transporting or manufacturing guns?  Tobacco, alcohol, pollution, pick your version of death or thing that could ‘harm’ children even if it has to be unborn children.

  43. 43.

    Another Scott

    August 31, 2021 at 11:18 pm

    @NotMax: Bad linky, I fix.  So many choices…

    43. Redshift

    OCTOBER 14, 2012 AT 5:04 PM

    @a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q):

    Josh Mandel looks like a creepy frat boy serial rapist to me

    Speaking of which, we happened to have the TV on when they were showing Obama’s weekly address today, and the GOP response was from some Oklahoma dude named “Markwayne Mullin.” Ms. Redshift immediately speculated that he was a serial killer, since they often have the middle name “Wayne,” but I pointed out that it apparently wasn’t his middle name. We agreed he must be trying to hide the fact that he’s a serial killer by merging his first and middle names into the implausible “Markwayne.”

    Just another afternoon of goofy political TV commentary from the Redshift household.

    Hehe.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  44. 44.

    Peale

    August 31, 2021 at 11:18 pm

    @smith: I would not be surprised if the GOP planted a blonde woman sometime in July for the express purpose of getting her trapped and abandoned behind the lines,

  45. 45.

    FlyingToaster

    August 31, 2021 at 11:20 pm

    It’s amazing to watch in real time the fabrication of an Americans-left-behind stab-in-the-back myth
    David Frum (@DavidFrum) 5:29 PM · Aug 30, 2021

  46. 46.

    Xenos

    August 31, 2021 at 11:21 pm

    Checking the news this morning, and wow, is the foreign policy “blob” (would be colonial administrators’ and adventurers’ class) furious with Biden!  The British conservative press is completely bonkers about this, too.

    I hate to use the formulation that you must be doing the right thing if it is driving certain people mad, but that definitely seems to apply here.

  47. 47.

    NotMax

    August 31, 2021 at 11:25 pm

    @Another Scott

    Whoops. Thanks. This is the link I originally had in mind.

  48. 48.

    prostratedragon

    August 31, 2021 at 11:29 pm

    @Peale:  “Can I peek now? Getting to the Bahamas shouldn’t take this long, should it?”

  49. 49.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 31, 2021 at 11:31 pm

    Kids, don’t smoke crack.

  50. 50.

    Splitting Image

    August 31, 2021 at 11:31 pm

    @Urza:

    If the supreme court lets this Texas abortion law stand where you could sue anyone who ‘might’ be associated with something legal but potentially deadly. What’s to stop California from making it legal to sue absolutely anybody who ‘might’ be involved with selling, transporting or manufacturing guns? Tobacco, alcohol, pollution, pick your version of death or thing that could ‘harm’ children even if it has to be unborn children.

    I would say that the immediate threat (aside from the fact that they are going to shut down every abortion clinic in the state) is that the anti-vaxxers will use the law to harass every source of vaccines in the state. If you advertise that you’re giving out free Moderna shots, the idiots who are currently picketing the clinics will sue them for performing abortions. The suits will get thrown out, but at least they’ll be causing trouble and owning the libs.

    Then they will go after hospitals where everybody is wearing masks. Giving out free masks? Probably performing abortions too. Time to get a lawyer.

    After that I would guess they will just start trying to blackmail doctors and nurses for money. They’ll demand free services and threaten to sue if they don’t get them.

    This would have the potential to be a major disaster even if banning abortion were good policy, which it isn’t.

  51. 51.

    MontyTheClipArtMongoose

    August 31, 2021 at 11:34 pm

    @jeepers: i’ve been reading the fan submissions to why your team sucks lately

  52. 52.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 31, 2021 at 11:36 pm

    @dr. bloor:

    Imagine naming your kid to steer him towards being a serial killer, and ending up with this slapdick instead. Total parenting fail. 

    Now now, no need to insult slapdicks with that comparison.

  53. 53.

    Kent

    August 31, 2021 at 11:37 pm

    @Urza:Open thread so…
    If the supreme court lets this Texas abortion law stand where you could sue anyone who ‘might’ be associated with something legal but potentially deadly.  What’s to stop California from making it legal to sue absolutely anybody who ‘might’ be involved with selling, transporting or manufacturing guns?  Tobacco, alcohol, pollution, pick your version of death or thing that could ‘harm’ children even if it has to be unborn children.

    The same thing occurred to me.

    Animal cruelty on farms.  Employer an army of  animal rights crazies to sue every farm in sight.

    Air and water pollution.  Turn enviros loose to sue every industry they can find that is discharging air or water pollution

    Forest practices.  Let them roam industrial forest lands looking for any violations of forest law…streams not properly buffered, etc.

    Shoreline development.  Let beachgoers sue beachfront property owners for violations of rights of way, illegal beach hardening, etc.

    Health code violations in restaurants.   etc.

    The possibilities are endless.   I’m not sure if this is really the can of worms that conservatives really want to open.

  54. 54.

    Kent

    August 31, 2021 at 11:41 pm

    My only regrets with respect to Mr. Markwayne, is that he didn’t take Marge Greene, Matt Gaetz, and and Ivar the Boneless (Madison Cawthorn) with him.

  55. 55.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 31, 2021 at 11:41 pm

    @Suzanne: Well what did you want his name to be – Bubba Bo Bob Markwayne?

  56. 56.

    Redshift

    August 31, 2021 at 11:41 pm

    @Another Scott: Wow, I’d completely forgotten about that!

  57. 57.

    mrmoshpotato

    August 31, 2021 at 11:43 pm

    @Kent:

    Madison (Ivar the Boneless) Cawthorn 

    LOL!  What?

  58. 58.

    Redshift

    August 31, 2021 at 11:44 pm

    If someone who is a sitting member of Congress, and the thing they’re known for is “leading intense workout classes,” I think it’s safe to say that’s not a success story.

  59. 59.

    Suzanne

    August 31, 2021 at 11:45 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: Hi, I’m Markwayne, this is my brother Markwayne, and this is my other brother Markwayne.”

  60. 60.

    Redshift

    August 31, 2021 at 11:45 pm

    @Redshift: Good thing he “pays his own salary,” otherwise he’d be really overpaid as a workout instructor…

  61. 61.

    Benw

    August 31, 2021 at 11:46 pm

    Look, Markwayne and I’ve seen enough 80’s action flicks to know that you’re the hero if:

    1. a white woman hiding in vaguely ethnic clothes is in danger
    2. you have a plan to get behind enemy lines and save her
    3. some pencilneck from State is screaming at you to stop
    4. you have huge pectoral muscles

    Markwayne is clearly the hero, people, why can’t we see that!

  62. 62.

    trollhattan

    August 31, 2021 at 11:47 pm

    @Suzanne:

    And why, may I ask, is the surname not Newton? We’ve been good.

  63. 63.

    trollhattan

    August 31, 2021 at 11:49 pm

    @Brachiator:

    Dollars to donuts Gym Jordan stalks him.

  64. 64.

    Major Major Major Major

    August 31, 2021 at 11:51 pm

    Trying to imagine everybody’s reaction if a democrat did something like this.

  65. 65.

    Kent

    August 31, 2021 at 11:52 pm

    @mrmoshpotato: You are clearly not a fan of the TV series Vikings on the History Channel  https://youtu.be/arp-Udc9djM

    Apparently the character was based on a real historical figure

  66. 66.

    Honus

    August 31, 2021 at 11:56 pm

    @Urza: Charles Whitman’s first shooting victim was an unborn child. The mother survived.

  67. 67.

    Lyrebird

    September 1, 2021 at 12:03 am

    @Urza: ​
      IANAL so I have no clue, but I like your use of creativity to find something hopeful to think about in a sea of yuck.

    Freakish occurrence: I have become very used to agreeing ith J Rubin lately, but Ross Douthat??? I have lost the link, but he was right in line with Eric Boehlert. Matthew Dowd, too, these are strange times;

  68. 68.

    Ken

    September 1, 2021 at 12:06 am

    @Kent: he didn’t take Marge Greene, Matt Gaetz, and and Ivar the Boneless (Madison Cawthorn)

    Those three will be the team sent in to rescue Mullin.

    Then they’ll need twelve Republicans to rescue those four, and 48 to rescue the first 16, and so on.

  69. 69.

    Lyrebird

    September 1, 2021 at 12:06 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Well I’m not the biggest fan of Jesse Jackson’s campaigns for higher office, but iiuc him going in peace has brought about real good for some prisoners.  not sure he gets much credit.

    But here is Big Knucklehead going off expecting to be the hero.  (shrugs with discouragement)

  70. 70.

    catclub

    September 1, 2021 at 12:07 am

    @Major Major Major Major: Trying to imagine everybody’s reaction if a democrat did something like this.

     

    Well, there was Charlie Wilson’s war. Second time as farce.

  71. 71.

    VeniceRiley

    September 1, 2021 at 12:08 am

    Markwayne Gary Wayne. … like an unbreakable kimmy sequel! Only they twist is he’s the hostage!?! I want this tv lionizing the gravy seals.

  72. 72.

    Mary G

    September 1, 2021 at 12:16 am

    Move along, nothing to see here:

    Rep. Markwayne Mullin's spokesperson Meredith Blanford: "Congressman Mullin has been and is currently completely safe."Full statement ? pic.twitter.com/5S1fETC2CQ— Andrew Solender (@AndrewSolender) September 1, 2021

    No mention of where he is that’s completely safe, nor of the money or the citizens.

  73. 73.

    mrmoshpotato

    September 1, 2021 at 12:26 am

    @Suzanne: Don’t be silly!  You know the parents would go with Markwayne, Waynemark and Warkmayne!

  74. 74.

    mrmoshpotato

    September 1, 2021 at 12:28 am

    @Benw: Excuse me, how much getting to the choppa is in the story?

  75. 75.

    Ken

    September 1, 2021 at 12:30 am

    @Mary G: He’s in Cancun, isn’t he?  Probably working on the story of his amazing exploits in Taliban-held territory. Hope he has Benw’s convenient outline, and a copy of Save the Cat!

  76. 76.

    leeleeFL

    September 1, 2021 at 12:30 am

    @HumboldtBlue:  Blithering fumblefuck is my new FAVORITE title for Shitheads!  Also, too, it is the new black!

  77. 77.

    mrmoshpotato

    September 1, 2021 at 12:30 am

    @Kent:

    You are clearly not a fan of the TV series Vikings on the History Channel 

    I’m sorry.  What is a show about Vikings doing on the pawn shop/storage locker channel?

  78. 78.

    Ken

    September 1, 2021 at 12:32 am

    @mrmoshpotato: You know the parents would go with Markwayne, Waynemark and Warkmayne!

    But of course not Maynewark, because it sounds like a British fishing village.

  79. 79.

    Benw

    September 1, 2021 at 12:33 am

    @mrmoshpotato: 100% getting to da choppa

  80. 80.

    The Lodger

    September 1, 2021 at 12:35 am

    @catclub: I don’t remember if Charlie Wilson  was an idiot or if he actually had some rudimentary sense of how to run an operation and keep his mouth shut about it until it was completed.

  81. 81.

    cbear

    September 1, 2021 at 12:40 am

    Is a hostage video with him crying and begging President Biden to rescue his sorry bumblefucking ass too much to hope for?

  82. 82.

    HumboldtBlue

    September 1, 2021 at 12:41 am

    @leeleeFL: ​ 
    May you wield it with humor and sheer fuck-them-all-edness!

  83. 83.

    mrmoshpotato

    September 1, 2021 at 12:41 am

    @Benw: Oops.  It’s late.  Please excuse that “the.”

  84. 84.

    leeleeFL

    September 1, 2021 at 12:44 am

    @HumboldtBlue: Ah, a kindred spirit I have!

    Honestly, I was glad to have finished my drink before I read that.  GENIUS, I say!

  85. 85.

    Benw

    September 1, 2021 at 12:45 am

    @mrmoshpotato: haha! All is forgiven :)

  86. 86.

    Mary G

    September 1, 2021 at 12:45 am

    Unless the Supremes do something in the next 21 minutes, the Texas law against abortion goes into effect and a large crack opens under Roe v. Wade. Repro Twitter is going nuts.

    I’m more than half convinced that  Republicans send out loons like this guy, MTG, Gaetz, wheelchair Hitler, and the gun lady from Colorado to distract from their quiet destruction of our rights.

  87. 87.

    Yutsano

    September 1, 2021 at 12:57 am

    @Mary G: Repro Twitter is going nuts

    Ye gods. Imani might stroke out. Cole should call her.

  88. 88.

    SFAW

    September 1, 2021 at 1:00 am

    Unlike Moulton and Meijer, Mullin did not serve in the U.S. military. He has been an outspoken critic of the Biden administration’s exit from Afghanistan…

    I don’t have a lot of love for Moulton — his challenge to the Speaker pissed me off — but I do respect his service record. Considering he could have taken it easy after graduating from Hahvahd, I have even more respect for him.

    As contrasted with Fucknozzle Markwayne Mullin, a REMF for the 82nd Chairborne.

    Mullin, 44, grew up in Stilwell, Okla., where he was a standout wrestler and earned a scholarship to Missouri Valley College.

    If he was such a fucking standout, why didn’t he get a scholarship to Oklahoma State? Although some might disagree*, according to Wikipedia the “Oklahoma State Cowboys wrestling team is the most successful NCAA Division I program of all time in any sport.”

    *Iowa and Iowa State** wrestlers might disagree.

    ** Me dad went to Iowa State — although he was not a wrestler — so I’m biased. But Dan Gable wrestled for State, and coached for Iowa, so …

  89. 89.

    BigJimSlade

    September 1, 2021 at 1:00 am

    @Splitting Image: Beat me to it

  90. 90.

    SFAW

    September 1, 2021 at 1:04 am

    @mrmoshpotato:

    Now now, no need to insult slapdicks with that comparison.

    Slapdicks won’t know they’re being insulted. Because, well, they’re slapdicks.

  91. 91.

    SFAW

    September 1, 2021 at 1:05 am

    @Splitting Image:

    And their sister, Statelywayne, who married JimBob Manor?

    ETA: That attempted joke will only make sense to old farts, like NotMax.

  92. 92.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 1, 2021 at 1:06 am

    @Mary G: A Texas court just issued a stay.​

  93. 93.

    RaflW

    September 1, 2021 at 1:12 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Hard to follow it all on the twitters, bit it sounded to me like this was a narrow stay? Certain specific people, not the law taking effect?

  94. 94.

    NotMax

    September 1, 2021 at 1:18 am

    @SFAW

    In for a Pennyworth, in for pound.

    Or something.

  95. 95.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 1, 2021 at 1:19 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: Looks like that was overstating things.  The stay seems to apply only to the specific parties in the suit.

  96. 96.

    SFAW

    September 1, 2021 at 1:20 am

    @NotMax:

    Now that you’re in the west, I don’t know you from Adam?

    Or something

  97. 97.

    Yutsano

    September 1, 2021 at 1:21 am

    @Omnes Omnibus: ABL disagrees.

    This is inaccurate. The order in this case enjoins Texas Right to Life and its legislative director John Seago from suing Michelle Simpson Tuegel under SB 8.The order doesn’t block the law. https://t.co/Uv0Tjzu5Wv— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) September 1, 2021​

    EDIT: which you noticed.

  98. 98.

    Omnes Omnibus

    September 1, 2021 at 1:28 am

    @Yutsano: Yeah, and on Twitter, I said I am bowing out now to avoid any hot takes that I will regret later.  I will do the same here.  Right now, there are legal challenges pending, but the law is in effect.

  99. 99.

    Mai Naem mobile

    September 1, 2021 at 1:49 am

    I hope John Seago is in line to adopt those seriously and terminally ill babies who will be born as a result of the ban. With no financial/medical  help from the big bad gubmint.

  100. 100.

    Kent

    September 1, 2021 at 2:00 am

    @Mary G:

    Unless the Supremes do something in the next 21 minutes, the Texas law against abortion goes into effect and a large crack opens under Roe v. Wade. Repro Twitter is going nuts.

    I’m more than half convinced that  Republicans send out loons like this guy, MTG, Gaetz, wheelchair Hitler, and the gun lady from Colorado to distract from their quiet destruction of our rights.

    Democrats aren’t helpless.  They just prefer to pretend that they are so they don’t have to take any agency.  Democrats hold the White House, the Senate, and the House.  They could pass a new statute tomorrow that enshrines Roe into Federal law and completely takes all of this out of the hands of the courts and states.  All it would take is Sinema and Machin to take some agency.  Of course they won’t.  They would rather hand-wring about the Robert’s court and fund-raise on it than actually do anything.

  101. 101.

    janesays

    September 1, 2021 at 2:24 am

    @Kent: Except that once that law is passed, some wingnut immediately files a lawsuit challenging the law and the case gets fast-tracked to SCOTUS, who rule that the law is unconstitutional for whatever nonsense reason they want.

  102. 102.

    Mary G

    September 1, 2021 at 2:26 am

    @Yutsano: I am screaming inside. Because I don’t want to scare the cats or the teen. Americans need to wake the fuck up.

  103. 103.

    Mary G

    September 1, 2021 at 2:27 am

    @Kent: There is no agency without Manchin and Sinema.

    I’m going to bed before my head explodes.

  104. 104.

    Roger Moore

    September 1, 2021 at 2:36 am

    @Lyrebird:

    That’s not even the craziest thing recently.  Ann Fucking Coulter was praising Biden for getting us out of Afghanistan and badmouthing Trump for failing.

  105. 105.

    Mary G

    September 1, 2021 at 2:38 am

    Ever wondered what you would have done during the Holocaust, slavery, or civil rights movement? You are doing it right now.— Andrea Junker (@Strandjunker) August 31, 2021

  106. 106.

    VeniceRiley

    September 1, 2021 at 2:53 am

    Blogfather woke up on Twitter, at least.

    The willow is too close to the house.

  107. 107.

    karen marie

    September 1, 2021 at 3:52 am

    @Peale: Pfft. Too much work. They’ll just say it happened.

    Also, too, I briefly saw a tweet before twitter refreshed on me that Markwayne’s reported in as “safe.” Couldn’t find it again, and I haven’t googled it yet.

  108. 108.

    Sloane Ranger

    September 1, 2021 at 3:53 am

    It’s funny about this story of an American woman and kids stuck in Afghanistan as there was a story a few days ago about a British woman and kids who were allegedly visiting relatives there and likewise got stuck.

    I didn’t think much of it at the time, except to wonder what sort of idiot would betake themselves and their children there at this time. Now I’m wondering if this actually is sme sort of scam.

  109. 109.

    mrmoshpotato

    September 1, 2021 at 4:45 am

    Throw Shithead Ted into the Sun.

    Indeed: Neither of them specify at all that it's Republican obstruction that's the immediate problem. That only 11 got through before August recess gets a mention, but we're left with a total mystery of why that happened. There's no mystery! Republicans blocked them! https://t.co/MCsXupHNKv— Jonathan Bernstein (@jbview) September 1, 2021

  110. 110.

    mrmoshpotato

    September 1, 2021 at 4:49 am

    @Sloane Ranger: Oh, it most definitely is a scam.

  111. 111.

    Amir Khalid

    September 1, 2021 at 5:26 am

    @Mike in NC:
    Maybe his parents thought Johnwayne was a little over-the-top. or they didn’t feel rich enough to name him Brucewayne.

  112. 112.

    Rusty

    September 1, 2021 at 5:27 am

    I’m reading that he is safe as he is now institutionalized.

  113. 113.

    evodevo

    September 1, 2021 at 7:31 am

    @Kent:  LOL you beat me to it…

  114. 114.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    September 1, 2021 at 9:34 am

    @Benw: You missed a key point here; the woman in distress must be blonde. Red head, she will self rescue, Brunet, she is a traitor, Bark skinned, she is tragically dead already.

  115. 115.

    SFAW

    September 1, 2021 at 9:47 am

    @mrmoshpotato:

    It’s a nice idea, but the costs involved would be astronomical. [Sorry.]

    Not saying it wouldn’t be worth it, but wouldn’t it be more cost-effective to throw most of the Rethug side of Congress from the top of Burj Khalifa?

  116. 116.

    SFAW

    September 1, 2021 at 9:48 am

    @Enhanced Voting Techniques:

    Bark skinned, she is tragically dead already.

    That’s ent-irely wrong.

  117. 117.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    September 1, 2021 at 10:12 am

    @SFAW: It’s the movies for you. With her death the movies writer’s can use it as a metaphor to explore the plight of minorities in our society. Also, if she got rescued then certain portions of the audience would be uncomfortable in a totally NOT racist way when her and our hero inevitably fall in love.

  118. 118.

    Enhanced Voting Techniques

    September 1, 2021 at 10:14 am

    Mullin, 44, grew up in Stilwell, Okla., where he was a standout wrestler and earned a scholarship to Missouri Valley College. Injuries derailed his athletic career, and at age 20, he took over his father’s plumbing business. He was also briefly a professional mixed martial arts fighter, and after being elected to Congress in 2012, he became known on the Hill for leading intense workout classes.

    This injury wouldn’t involve a chokehold?

  119. 119.

    MontyTheClipArtMongoose

    September 1, 2021 at 10:41 am

    @Redshift: markwayne mullin is the pontius pilate of the us congress

  120. 120.

    MontyTheClipArtMongoose

    September 1, 2021 at 10:46 am

    @SFAW: damn gable sounds confused about school loyalty

    not as much as bret bielema though: galena, il, native who went to iowa, has a hawkeye tattoo on his buttcheek, coached as an assistant at nebraska, head coach at wisconsin, & now at illinois (after a sabbatical at arkansas)

  121. 121.

    MontyTheClipArtMongoose

    September 1, 2021 at 10:48 am

    @Sloane Ranger: are these mothers from savushkina street, & still there, but pretending to be hindu kush wilmas mitty

  122. 122.

    misterpuff

    September 1, 2021 at 5:43 pm

    @Splitting Image: And his sister Joanwayne, pilgrim!

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Recent Comments

  • Another Scott on War for Ukraine Day 397: A New Week Begins (Mar 27, 2023 @ 11:18pm)
  • Chetan Murthy on War for Ukraine Day 397: A New Week Begins (Mar 27, 2023 @ 11:11pm)
  • kalakal on Music and Last Night to Write Postcards for Wisconsin (Mar 27, 2023 @ 11:07pm)
  • Groucho48 on Music and Last Night to Write Postcards for Wisconsin (Mar 27, 2023 @ 11:04pm)
  • TheTruffle on Music and Last Night to Write Postcards for Wisconsin (Mar 27, 2023 @ 11:02pm)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!