A wild scoop: A GOP lawmaker has been trying to travel to *Taliban-controlled Afghanistan* in a rogue evacuation mission despite efforts by the Pentagon & State Dept to discourage him. Officials are unsure of his current whereabouts. From @tylerpager & me https://t.co/MpieNxGNTU
— John Hudson (@John_Hudson) August 31, 2021
Somebody tell the Erroll Flynn Twins (Reps. Moulton / Meijer) what they’ve inspired:
The call to the U.S. ambassador to Tajikistan came in Monday. On the line, two U.S. officials said, was Rep. Markwayne Mullin (R-Okla.) with an unusual and urgent request: He needed assistance in transporting a huge amount of cash into the country, saying he was going to neighboring Afghanistan to rescue five American citizens, a woman and her four children, stuck in the country. They planned to hire a helicopter for the effort.
Mullin told the embassy that he planned to fly from Tblisi, Georgia, into Tajikistan’s capital, Dushanbe, in the next few hours and needed the top diplomat’s help, according to the two U.S. officials familiar with the incident, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to disclose private conversations about a sensitive matter.
The answer was no. Embassy officials told Mullin they could not assist him in skirting Tajikistan’s laws on cash limits on his way to visiting one of the most dangerous places on earth.
Mullin was outraged by the response, the officials said — threatening U.S. ambassador John Mark Pommersheim and embassy staff and demanding to know the name of staff members he was speaking with.
The episode marked Mullin’s second attempt to travel to Afghanistan in as many weeks for an unauthorized evacuation effort despite the perilous security environment. Last week, Mullin traveled to Greece and asked the Department of Defense for permission to visit Kabul. The Pentagon denied Mullin’s request, an administration official said.
Mullin’s behavior has alarmed top U.S. officials who say he has gone to extraordinary lengths to defy U.S. warnings. The attempt follows an unauthorized trip to Afghanistan by Reps. Seth Moulton (D-Mass) and Peter Meijer (R-Mich.) last week, which Pentagon and State Department officials criticized as a public relations stunt that sapped government resources during a national-security crisis.
As of late Tuesday, U.S. officials said they were unsure of Mullin’s location. Mullin’s office did not respond to multiple requests for comment…
Mullin, 44, grew up in Stilwell, Okla., where he was a standout wrestler and earned a scholarship to Missouri Valley College. Injuries derailed his athletic career, and at age 20, he took over his father’s plumbing business. He was also briefly a professional mixed martial arts fighter, and after being elected to Congress in 2012, he became known on the Hill for leading intense workout classes. A member of the conservative Republican Study Committee, Mullin voted against the certification of the 2020 election results.
Unlike Moulton and Meijer, Mullin did not serve in the U.S. military. He has been an outspoken critic of the Biden administration’s exit from Afghanistan…
CD and Senior Advisor for [Dem] Jim Himes:
Markwayne used to constantly wander into our legislative office because the door was next to his personal office and he got confused. Not the guy I would choose for this particular op.
— Patrick Malone (@patrickmorland) September 1, 2021
Dunno, Mr. Malone — Mullin might not be the most useful choice, but he’s certainly representative of his particular party’s stance here…
Jim, Foolish Literalist
future generations will no longer refer to the War of Jenkins’ Ear, but the War For Markwayne’s Fannypack
I’m really torn between thinking:
Anyone get the idea that the officials aren’t going to look that hard, either?
All Republicans are idiots, and this man is definitely their King. Play stupid games, win even stupider prizes.
No clicks from me; from the excerpt:
“transporting a huge amount of cash”
Um, what’s that in dollars?
“stuck in the country”
Why are they “stuck” when the Taliban was letting Americans leave?
“They planned to hire a helicopter for the effort.”
Does Enterprise rent helicopters in Kabul?
So many questions… :-/
This is taking Karening to a whole new level.
Well, I guess that’s one way to decrease the Republican House minority.
Gin & Tonic
Smuggle illegal quantities of cash into Tajikistan and try to make it overland into Afghanistan. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
He should have just dropped Rod Dreher’s name.
Wouldn’t it have been easier for him to just rant about vaccinations and die of COVID?
@Ken: I personally doubt Mullin’s ‘thinking’ went any deeper than Those snooty Moulton & Meijer guys got spots on all the fancy teevee news shows, and they didn’t even bring back any cute lil American
Which is, y’know, why Moulton / Meijer should’ve known better than to set a bad example for their less gifted colleagues…
No, but Blackwater would be happy to help out. For a price.
After due reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is the obligation and duty of all Republican lawmakers, judges, media personalities, etc., to procure transportation bringing them to the backcountry of Afghanistan on vaguely-specified ‘rescue’ missions.
I see no real downside. It won’t really inconvenience the locals much, and it would definitely improve things here.
The motherfucker’s parents named him Markwayne. If that isn’t an instant signal you have birthed a blithering fumblefuck nothing else will.
You know this clown has an aunt named Uncle Junior.
Mike in NC
Never heard of a Markwayne before. Seriously?
@dmsilev: the new kony2012
I liked the comment in the Twitter thread that said, basically, why don’t we just tell these bozos how strong and manly they are? Maybe that would satisfy their deep psychological needs and they wouldn’t act out like three-year-olds.
Among Indigenous MMA fighters in the People’s House —
Sharice Davids > Markwayne Mullin
Also, fuckBrentWelder with Nina Turner’s hot comb
@Anne Laurie: Maybe Moulton and Meijer planned this all along, to trim down the number of their less gifted colleagues? I know it’s Meijer(R), but maybe he’s one of the semi-sane Rs?
Maybe it’s “Mark Wayne Note Spelling Mullin”?
There is no rule that says dogs can’t do the weather report.
I’m really torn between thinking:
Pretty much my thoughts exactly.
I’m trying to imagine the scenario in which an American woman takes her four children to Afghanistan and doesn’t leave when warned to do so. Not the usual summer vacation trip. The only thing I can come up with is she’s an Afghani-American woman visiting her family (or an American married to an Afghani), in which case getting her and the children out might be a bit more complicated than the idiot thinks, especially if the family doesn’t want them to leave.
@Mike in NC:
He’s trying to break out of the shadow of his older brother Brucewayne.
I know which possibility I’d buy a ticket to see.
@Gin & Tonic: A strong contender for a Darwin Award.
So … does this mean that violence and money without any coherent plan isn’t a recipe for success in Afghanistan?
@Mike in NC:
Right? Imagine naming your kid to steer him towards being a serial killer, and ending up with this slapdick instead. Total parenting fail.
Flanders Other Neighbor
I have no questions about this mission. Let him go and encourage him to take his peers.
Based on a personal situation I have been dealing with for a year, I think many people like Markwayne can be best described as “stupid psychopaths.”
I’m pretty much of the opinion that we should keep sending GOP Congressmen after him until we either run out of them or they bring home Nathan Jr and his family… or my name isn’t Nathan Arizona.
@smith: In 1979 a friend of a friend who had married an Iranian man found herself trapped in Teheran. Their kids were American citizens but the dad wasn’t. She was able to leave with the assistance of another western embassy — Canada, I believe. You need the help of someone with diplomatic status, not a rogue Rambo type.
@piratedan: Great minds and all. Why can’t we get a string of Senators to try. Cruz loves to travel, for instance.
Sounds like he maybe took a few too many hits to the head.
BTW, The Man Who Would Be King is a very good film. And maybe a timely rental or purchase.
What’s with the fucking people with torture devices about around here anyway? Seems to come up a lot. Doesn’t reflect well on the site.
Steve in the ATL
@Barbara: someone should make a movie about that—maybe Ben Affleck….
Assuming whatever cash money he has with him was grifted from his equally intellectually endowed base: please proceed, Congressman.
Also, I know I’m shouting into the wind, but the people are Afghan, or Afghans. ‘Afghani’ is the name of their currency – or of an apparently particularly potent strain of cannabis.
And another thing…
“briefly”?? Like he was the chump that got beat up by design, or something?
Too many TBIs??
He helped barricade the House chamber on 1/6.
He’s an enrolled Cherokee.
David ? ☘The Establishment☘? Koch
Biden’s disastrous month continues.
?? Canada’s women’s hockey team defeats United States 3-2 in overtime comeback, winning World Championship
It’s going home.? ???
Mullin has graced these august pages before.
Come ON. WTF. They’re not even trying.
Mike in NC
@dr. bloor: I never had a son but would have considered naming him Wayne Gacy if I did.
Open thread so…
If the supreme court lets this Texas abortion law stand where you could sue anyone who ‘might’ be associated with something legal but potentially deadly. What’s to stop California from making it legal to sue absolutely anybody who ‘might’ be involved with selling, transporting or manufacturing guns? Tobacco, alcohol, pollution, pick your version of death or thing that could ‘harm’ children even if it has to be unborn children.
@NotMax: Bad linky, I fix. So many choices…
@smith: I would not be surprised if the GOP planted a blonde woman sometime in July for the express purpose of getting her trapped and abandoned behind the lines,
Checking the news this morning, and wow, is the foreign policy “blob” (would be colonial administrators’ and adventurers’ class) furious with Biden! The British conservative press is completely bonkers about this, too.
I hate to use the formulation that you must be doing the right thing if it is driving certain people mad, but that definitely seems to apply here.
Whoops. Thanks. This is the link I originally had in mind.
@Peale: “Can I peek now? Getting to the Bahamas shouldn’t take this long, should it?”
Kids, don’t smoke crack.
I would say that the immediate threat (aside from the fact that they are going to shut down every abortion clinic in the state) is that the anti-vaxxers will use the law to harass every source of vaccines in the state. If you advertise that you’re giving out free Moderna shots, the idiots who are currently picketing the clinics will sue them for performing abortions. The suits will get thrown out, but at least they’ll be causing trouble and owning the libs.
Then they will go after hospitals where everybody is wearing masks. Giving out free masks? Probably performing abortions too. Time to get a lawyer.
After that I would guess they will just start trying to blackmail doctors and nurses for money. They’ll demand free services and threaten to sue if they don’t get them.
This would have the potential to be a major disaster even if banning abortion were good policy, which it isn’t.
@jeepers: i’ve been reading the fan submissions to why your team sucks lately
Now now, no need to insult slapdicks with that comparison.
The same thing occurred to me.
Animal cruelty on farms. Employer an army of animal rights crazies to sue every farm in sight.
Air and water pollution. Turn enviros loose to sue every industry they can find that is discharging air or water pollution
Forest practices. Let them roam industrial forest lands looking for any violations of forest law…streams not properly buffered, etc.
Shoreline development. Let beachgoers sue beachfront property owners for violations of rights of way, illegal beach hardening, etc.
Health code violations in restaurants. etc.
The possibilities are endless. I’m not sure if this is really the can of worms that conservatives really want to open.
My only regrets with respect to Mr. Markwayne, is that he didn’t take Marge Greene, Matt Gaetz, and and Ivar the Boneless (Madison Cawthorn) with him.
@Suzanne: Well what did you want his name to be – Bubba Bo Bob Markwayne?
@Another Scott: Wow, I’d completely forgotten about that!
If someone who is a sitting member of Congress, and the thing they’re known for is “leading intense workout classes,” I think it’s safe to say that’s not a success story.
@mrmoshpotato: Hi, I’m Markwayne, this is my brother Markwayne, and this is my other brother Markwayne.”
@Redshift: Good thing he “pays his own salary,” otherwise he’d be really overpaid as a workout instructor…
Look, Markwayne and I’ve seen enough 80’s action flicks to know that you’re the hero if:
Markwayne is clearly the hero, people, why can’t we see that!
And why, may I ask, is the surname not Newton? We’ve been good.
Dollars to donuts Gym Jordan stalks him.
Major Major Major Major
Trying to imagine everybody’s reaction if a democrat did something like this.
@mrmoshpotato: You are clearly not a fan of the TV series Vikings on the History Channel https://youtu.be/arp-Udc9djM
Apparently the character was based on a real historical figure
@Urza: Charles Whitman’s first shooting victim was an unborn child. The mother survived.
IANAL so I have no clue, but I like your use of creativity to find something hopeful to think about in a sea of yuck.
Freakish occurrence: I have become very used to agreeing ith J Rubin lately, but Ross Douthat??? I have lost the link, but he was right in line with Eric Boehlert. Matthew Dowd, too, these are strange times;
Those three will be the team sent in to rescue Mullin.
Then they’ll need twelve Republicans to rescue those four, and 48 to rescue the first 16, and so on.
@Major Major Major Major: Well I’m not the biggest fan of Jesse Jackson’s campaigns for higher office, but iiuc him going in peace has brought about real good for some prisoners. not sure he gets much credit.
But here is Big Knucklehead going off expecting to be the hero. (shrugs with discouragement)
Well, there was Charlie Wilson’s war. Second time as farce.
Markwayne Gary Wayne. … like an unbreakable kimmy sequel! Only they twist is he’s the hostage!?! I want this tv lionizing the gravy seals.
Move along, nothing to see here:
No mention of where he is that’s completely safe, nor of the money or the citizens.
@Suzanne: Don’t be silly! You know the parents would go with Markwayne, Waynemark and Warkmayne!
@Benw: Excuse me, how much getting to the choppa is in the story?
@Mary G: He’s in Cancun, isn’t he? Probably working on the story of his amazing exploits in Taliban-held territory. Hope he has Benw’s convenient outline, and a copy of Save the Cat!
@HumboldtBlue: Blithering fumblefuck is my new FAVORITE title for Shitheads! Also, too, it is the new black!
I’m sorry. What is a show about Vikings doing on the pawn shop/storage locker channel?
But of course not Maynewark, because it sounds like a British fishing village.
@mrmoshpotato: 100% getting to da choppa
@catclub: I don’t remember if Charlie Wilson was an idiot or if he actually had some rudimentary sense of how to run an operation and keep his mouth shut about it until it was completed.
Is a hostage video with him crying and begging President Biden to rescue his sorry bumblefucking ass too much to hope for?
May you wield it with humor and sheer fuck-them-all-edness!
@Benw: Oops. It’s late. Please excuse that “the.”
@HumboldtBlue: Ah, a kindred spirit I have!
Honestly, I was glad to have finished my drink before I read that. GENIUS, I say!
@mrmoshpotato: haha! All is forgiven :)
Unless the Supremes do something in the next 21 minutes, the Texas law against abortion goes into effect and a large crack opens under Roe v. Wade. Repro Twitter is going nuts.
I’m more than half convinced that Republicans send out loons like this guy, MTG, Gaetz, wheelchair Hitler, and the gun lady from Colorado to distract from their quiet destruction of our rights.
Ye gods. Imani might stroke out. Cole should call her.
I don’t have a lot of love for Moulton — his challenge to the Speaker pissed me off — but I do respect his service record. Considering he could have taken it easy after graduating from Hahvahd, I have even more respect for him.
As contrasted with
FucknozzleMarkwayne Mullin, a REMF for the 82nd Chairborne.
If he was such a fucking standout, why didn’t he get a scholarship to Oklahoma State? Although some might disagree*, according to Wikipedia the “Oklahoma State Cowboys wrestling team is the most successful NCAA Division I program of all time in any sport.”
*Iowa and Iowa State** wrestlers might disagree.
** Me dad went to Iowa State — although he was not a wrestler — so I’m biased. But Dan Gable wrestled for State, and coached for Iowa, so …
@Splitting Image: Beat me to it
Slapdicks won’t know they’re being insulted. Because, well, they’re slapdicks.
And their sister, Statelywayne, who married JimBob Manor?
ETA: That attempted joke will only make sense to old farts, like NotMax.
@Mary G: A Texas court just issued a stay.
@Omnes Omnibus: Hard to follow it all on the twitters, bit it sounded to me like this was a narrow stay? Certain specific people, not the law taking effect?
In for a Pennyworth, in for pound.
@Omnes Omnibus: Looks like that was overstating things. The stay seems to apply only to the specific parties in the suit.
Now that you’re in the west, I don’t know you from Adam?
@Omnes Omnibus: ABL disagrees.
EDIT: which you noticed.
@Yutsano: Yeah, and on Twitter, I said I am bowing out now to avoid any hot takes that I will regret later. I will do the same here. Right now, there are legal challenges pending, but the law is in effect.
Mai Naem mobile
I hope John Seago is in line to adopt those seriously and terminally ill babies who will be born as a result of the ban. With no financial/medical help from the big bad gubmint.
Democrats aren’t helpless. They just prefer to pretend that they are so they don’t have to take any agency. Democrats hold the White House, the Senate, and the House. They could pass a new statute tomorrow that enshrines Roe into Federal law and completely takes all of this out of the hands of the courts and states. All it would take is Sinema and Machin to take some agency. Of course they won’t. They would rather hand-wring about the Robert’s court and fund-raise on it than actually do anything.
@Kent: Except that once that law is passed, some wingnut immediately files a lawsuit challenging the law and the case gets fast-tracked to SCOTUS, who rule that the law is unconstitutional for whatever nonsense reason they want.
@Yutsano: I am screaming inside. Because I don’t want to scare the cats or the teen. Americans need to wake the fuck up.
@Kent: There is no agency without Manchin and Sinema.
I’m going to bed before my head explodes.
That’s not even the craziest thing recently. Ann Fucking Coulter was praising Biden for getting us out of Afghanistan and badmouthing Trump for failing.
Blogfather woke up on Twitter, at least.
The willow is too close to the house.
@Peale: Pfft. Too much work. They’ll just say it happened.
Also, too, I briefly saw a tweet before twitter refreshed on me that Markwayne’s reported in as “safe.” Couldn’t find it again, and I haven’t googled it yet.
It’s funny about this story of an American woman and kids stuck in Afghanistan as there was a story a few days ago about a British woman and kids who were allegedly visiting relatives there and likewise got stuck.
I didn’t think much of it at the time, except to wonder what sort of idiot would betake themselves and their children there at this time. Now I’m wondering if this actually is sme sort of scam.
Throw Shithead Ted into the Sun.
@Sloane Ranger: Oh, it most definitely is a scam.
@Mike in NC:
Maybe his parents thought Johnwayne was a little over-the-top. or they didn’t feel rich enough to name him Brucewayne.
I’m reading that he is safe as he is now institutionalized.
@Kent: LOL you beat me to it…
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@Benw: You missed a key point here; the woman in distress must be blonde. Red head, she will self rescue, Brunet, she is a traitor, Bark skinned, she is tragically dead already.
It’s a nice idea, but the costs involved would be astronomical. [Sorry.]
Not saying it wouldn’t be worth it, but wouldn’t it be more cost-effective to throw most of the Rethug side of Congress from the top of Burj Khalifa?
@Enhanced Voting Techniques:
That’s ent-irely wrong.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
@SFAW: It’s the movies for you. With her death the movies writer’s can use it as a metaphor to explore the plight of minorities in our society. Also, if she got rescued then certain portions of the audience would be uncomfortable in a totally NOT racist way when her and our hero inevitably fall in love.
Enhanced Voting Techniques
This injury wouldn’t involve a chokehold?
@Redshift: markwayne mullin is the pontius pilate of the us congress
@SFAW: damn gable sounds confused about school loyalty
not as much as bret bielema though: galena, il, native who went to iowa, has a hawkeye tattoo on his buttcheek, coached as an assistant at nebraska, head coach at wisconsin, & now at illinois (after a sabbatical at arkansas)
@Sloane Ranger: are these mothers from savushkina street, & still there, but pretending to be hindu kush wilmas mitty
@Splitting Image: And his sister Joanwayne, pilgrim!