United States fish-stick fascist Tucker Swanson Carlson releases autobiographical documentary “Triumph of the Tool.” https://t.co/FLXqIvqR96
— DPRK News Service (@DPRK_News) April 17, 2022
I know, I know — but Cheryl Rofer found the ABSOLUTE BEST comment, and it’s at the end of this post…
Tucker has managed to make a program that cannot be shown in Florida schools due to recently enacted legislation.
— shiblatown (@shiblatown) April 17, 2022
This is a totally confusing plot twist, but I think the writers are setting up a comic finale where a right-wing teacher shows this to his class, and then an angry parent sues under the Don't Say Gay law https://t.co/0pWAnazs3O
— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) April 17, 2022
Gay conservative journalist / pundit explains:
Gay men are the strongest remaining advocates of traditional markers of masculinity, so the natcons have no choice but to embrace homoeroticism.
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) April 16, 2022
Black Mirror episode where awful unctuously racist talk show host patiently cultivates a horrible audience for 30 years and then at the end convinces the worst 10% of men in America to microwave their own nuts.
— USankMyBattleshipHat (@Popehat) April 18, 2022
To become one with the Tesla Charger pic.twitter.com/B4K2vDlMIv
— Rich McCabe ?????? (@richtmc) April 17, 2022
Imagine how Tucker Carlson would respond if gay men were tanning their testicles. https://t.co/2zGpgFSdFO
— Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) April 18, 2022
Alternate possibility!
How it started / How it's going pic.twitter.com/VvTRA9ND4w
— Daily Trix (@DailyTrix) April 18, 2022
When you’ve lost Kid Rock … https://t.co/ZTANNC3RwX
— Patrick Chovanec (@prchovanec) April 18, 2022
That was… Granpa?!?
— Cheryl Rofer (@CherylRofer) April 16, 2022
War for Ukraine Update 54: The Russians Move To Contact, the Donbas Campaign Has Begun!
Ruckus ??
I see two possibilities.
First, fucker c has gone off the deep end. Possibly he’s been sucking on a home ant poison container, thinking it was a big thin mint.
Second, he might have lots of money ridding on the ruskies to win in Ukraine in under 2 months and it’s not going particularly well for him as vova has already sent him the pay up notice because vova is looking for all the loose change he can find. fucker c is worried because if vova loses the war his almost secret paycheck will for sure not arrive. So losing the bet and his almost secret paycheck will not work out well for fucker c. I hope I don’t hurt myself laughing.
Bruce K in ATH-GR
@Ruckus ??: Can’t discount the possibility of kompromat. If he’s done things that Vova and company can use to, let’s say, put negative pressure on him, that puts pressure on one’s psyche, and given Vova and company’s desperation, plus the real possibility that Haw-Haw Carlson wasn’t too tightly wrapped to begin with, this sort of derangement becomes a bit more plausible.
It’s hard not to feel sympathy for someone under that much pressure, but if Haw-Haw’s victims can suffer through all the harm he’s caused them, I can manage to be unsympathetic to him.
NotMax
Front line soldier in Battle of the Bulge 2.0.
Amir Khalid
Roasted rambutans of white man. No thanks.
ColoradoGuy
Maybe it’s all just trolling now, and it’s not supposed to make sense. But the alternative theory that vova’s kompromat is getting a little too close, with big debts owed to the Russian Mafiya, has its charms too.
Still curious about the links between the FSB and the Murdoch clan. Has to be something there, given the alignment of interests.
wetzel
Tuck’s Everlasting Penis Tanning Bed
Tucker’s friendly frankfurter
Had gone the color of hamburger
Investigating further
He built an ionic converter
In which to place his member
A resonating chamber
To aim for brown September
Or the color of treated lumber
The swirling radiation
Was so damn satiating
That now it’s brown like bacon
And the skin has started flaking
p.a.
Tucker’s writers are unimaginative hacks; just off the top of my head I came up with the idea of combo-therapy- scrotum toasting combined with ivermectin/hydro enemas. Maybe he’ll get an endorsement from Gwyneth Paltrow!
Deputinize Eurasia from the Kuriles to St Petersburg
“You’re a hot dog, Frankfurter….”
Mimi Haha
That is the gayest thing I have ever seen and I’ve been to Show Tunes Night at Sidetrack.
debbie
Colbert was so, so funny about this last night. (Starts at about 5:10).
NotMax
“Let there be Light!
“Don’t be fooled by imitations. Order the original rechargeable Pocket Pouch Buddy. Now available in two colors: Driven Snow and Audacious Alabaster.
“Twelve easy payments of only $16.88. Order within the next ten minutes and receive this exclusive ‘Tuck and uncover’ beer insulator!”
hueyplong
The rational guess is that he’s testing the limits of his audience in anticipation of the next election, but in this hopeless timeline the rational guess is always wrong. I much prefer the kompromat theory because it posits the hope of an awkward ending for Tucker.
Difficult to shake the feeling that a straight-up win for Ukraine would be bad for Republican politics in the USA.
Kropacetic
Ukraine will have beaten Republican Dom Daddy Vladdy with the help of the feminized US-led NATO effort and we didn’t need to fire a shot.
Putin’s critical mistake? When he was out shirtless on that horse, he shoulda had his nuts out to tan.
And where did all the Republicans’ dark money go?
AWOL
“Burning balls give you so much more . . . ”
– Eno, Taking Tucker Swanson (By Strategy)
Miss Bianca
@Mimi Haha: Actually, I could go for a whole string of memes on the “That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve (fill in the blank with the gayest thing you’ve ever done)”. I could use a good laugh or three or four or several.
Boris Rasputin (the evil twin)
I don’t know what Tuckums is drinking these days, but it scares me. That trailer is the product of not only a sick mind, but some very heavy substance abuse.
Ruckus ??
@Boris Rasputin (the evil twin):
It’s possible that you are giving him too much credit, suggesting it’s possibly limited to drinking.
He drinks to help swallow something that humans should not be ingesting except when in a locked ward and wearing a jacket with wrap around sleeves. And of course that’s not the only possibility, he may just be clinically insane. Who else could spew all that bullshit and still look that constipated?
leeleeFL
Popehat wins the internets today! Tied, of course, with Stephen Colbert! I needed the LOLs more than you can possibly imagine, so TFS! Holy jumpin’ hat, as my Daddy used to say, is it too much to hope these shitheads will sterilize themselves and let the rest of us live in, if not peace, at least in less stress! Holy Shit, he is a stupid son if a bitch!
Chris T.
@NotMax:
Battle of the Trouser Bulge?