Yeah so it just hit me that there are TFG NFT trading cards specifically because the former president of the United States is super crazy jealous of the whole Dark Brandon thing. ???????
— Dirk Lester ??????????????? (@Dirk2112) December 15, 2022
But who’s the sucker here — the MAGAts market, or the walking caricature on the cards? The Washington Post‘s Phillip Bump, “Who convinced Donald Trump that Trump NFTs were a good idea?”:
It’s very easy to see how NFTs — non-fungible tokens, bits of digital art created to be unique — would appeal to Donald Trump. People were paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for exclusive ownership of a drawing of a monkey! All you had to do was make a picture, hit some internet buttons somewhere, and suddenly you’re vacuuming up cash like there’s no tomorrow. For Donald Trump, a guy who used his name to sell everything from steaks to water, the idea would be irresistible.
So, on Thursday, the former president of the United States — a guy who two years ago oversaw the vast power of the American government, a man who at one time could command armies and navies as he saw fit — announced that he was getting into the NFT game.
There are … just a few problems.
The first is that those NFT creators weren’t vacuuming up cash but crypto — that is, digital currency that is only loosely tethered to the actual economy. A lot of those hundreds-of-thousands-of-dollars sales were in currencies that have since lost a lot of value, making them, say, thousands-of-dollars sales.
The second is that people were paying lots of money for NFTs. Crypto went through a boom in 2021 that helped power the NFT market. By January, there were more than 322,000 sales of collectible NFTs a week, generating hundreds of millions of dollars. But by September, trading volume had collapsed by 97 percent. In the most recent week, according to NonFungible, there were only about 33,000 sales of collectible NFTs…
The third problem with Trump’s effort is that the entire thing is far more Trump Steak than Trump 2016. For all of his obsession with presenting a glamorous lifestyle, his aesthetic has long been more “Queen of Versailles” than Versailles. And the art in the NFT line largely consists of clumsily Photoshopping Trump’s head onto manly, svelte figures — not necessarily the sort of thing that someone might find worth an initial $99 investment…
I cannot imagine how disappointing Actual Trump must be to people who are constantly waiting for Imagined Trump https://t.co/EfXnCBh4KJ
— Jane Coaston (@janecoaston) December 15, 2022
fool + money / reality = schadenfreude. https://t.co/9CBlovnw3P
— Cipher of the Golden Spatula (@snarkylicious) December 16, 2022
Trump has already sold out all 45,000 of his $99 digital trading cards. The same people screaming about “inflation” and “gas prices” just paid $99 for a single JPEG image.
— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) December 16, 2022
Yeah, except… it’s complicated:
New on my substack: Want to own a Trump NFT Trading Card? You can't – you don't fully own them. If you sell them, you have to kick back 10% of the proceeds to Trump & fellow grifters, whose corporate web traces back to a small house linked to fraudsters.https://t.co/7VKLlC6WKU
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) December 16, 2022
(I’m expecting a whole narrative arc to unfold here, not least in legal filings.)
I think the 'Sold Out' was more of a "Oh shit! Even my loyal subjects aren't having it" moment
— 🇺🇸BLUE MAGOO🇺🇦 (@BlueDoggin45) December 16, 2022
Amazing, no notes pic.twitter.com/wc01TdABYP
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) December 15, 2022
MattF
I suppose the images on the cards are what TFG sees when he looks in a mirror. And… speaking of optical illusions, this one is entirely amazing.
VOR
As I said the other day, he has no respect for his marks.
Ken
Maybe we should package all the previous Balloon Juice Pet Calendars as NFTs and sell them. With any luck we’ll make enough money to fund the site for the next three centuries.
Roger Moore
I suspect a lot of those sales were to another entity controlled by Trump, and the claims they’ve appreciated in value were the result of related party transactions. The NFT space has a history of that kind of fraud, and it’s hard to believe Trump wouldn’t engage in it.
piratedan
suspect what happened with the Trump NFT’s is that he offered them at this “reasonable” price…. bought them all himself to generate demand and now will resell them at a significantly higher price because.. he’s Trump. Lets face it, most Trump fans could give a shit what’s behind the curtain and artificially creating a demand has got to be con artiste 101.
CaseyL
I hope they are all scammed down to their last dollar. Everyone.
Ken
@Roger Moore: From a quick scan of the comments in a couple of the twitter threads linked above, the most popular theory is that the Russians, Saudis, or other foreign actors bought the NFTs. Among those, there’s about an even split between those who think it was straightforward money laundering, and those who say it was payment for the missing classified documents.
Vox populi.
Betty Cracker
@Roger Moore: My guess is someone else is making most of the bank through fraud here. Trump’s many fraudulent schemes tended to be kind of simple. He probably licensed his image for this embarrassment for a relative pittance.
UncleEbeneezer
When I saw a couple with him wearing sunglasses my first thought was that he’s trying to imitate Biden’s cool factor (and failing miserably).
Layer8Problem
Apropos of absolutely nothing, I just found out following one of those tweets that Eric Braeden, of The Rat Patrol, Colossus: The Forbin Project, that episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show where Ted Baxter shoves a pie in his face, and oh yeah, The Young and the Restless, just got a knee replacement.
Elizabelle
@UncleEbeneezer: Yes. The aviator sunglasses were Handsome Joe.
Have you ever seen TFG in sunglasses previously? He wouldn’t even protect his eyes during the full solar eclipse a few years back.
Matt McIrvin
@Layer8Problem: Ha ha I beat him to cyborgification. Colossus will kill me last
zhena gogolia
@Layer8Problem: Hans Gudegast! I was afraid you were going to say he had died.
M31
that 10% is what I was waiting for — couldn’t believe that the grifters behind Trump (he’s not smart or nonlazy enough to think of or enact any of this) would have let resellers make money without getting a cut
I’m sure 90% of it is fiction, at least, or a lump sum money laundering purchase by the Saudis or other unsavory Trump puppeteers
Cameron
@Ken: Only if you photoshopped Trump’s head onto the bodies of beloved critters.
Geminid
Trump thinks these NFT’s are worth more than a drawing of a mere monkey. He still likes to think of himself as an 800lb. Gorilla. But these NFTs are drawings of a monkey, a 350lb. Mangy Monkey to be precise.
Steeplejack
Nelson Muntz “Ha-ha!” to the whole thing.
trollhattan
Thing I did not know: California’s minimum wage has a COLA mechanism.
Many counties and cities have their own minimums, above the state’s.
Jinchi
I thought the astronaut with the sunglasses was Dark Brandon.
Layer8Problem
@zhena gogolia: You know his real name! Nope, he’s still with us.
zhena gogolia
@Layer8Problem: He used to go by that name, when I first became aware of him. Not dating myself or anything.
dm
@M31: Melania tried to sell an NFT with a 100% royalty on resale. Picture of her in some hat, I think? It ended up not selling at all, as I recall.
Cameron
Perhaps the Trumpenproletariat actually exist somewhere other than in ex-Pres’ mind. Perhaps, although I doubt in the numbers he envisions. If such walk the Earth, and piss away the rent money for a fraudulent picture of a fraud, we must conclude that such folks’ understanding of vernacular vanished years ago. “Gettin’ paid” does NOT equal “remuneration for goods and services proffered.”
Layer8Problem
@zhena gogolia: I wouldn’t even have known him beyond “that Afrikakorps guy” in The Rat Patrol, when I think he was using that name. I was probably watching it in reruns on a local station.
NotMax
Melania got on the NFT train first.
rikyrah
FYI:
Patrick Stewart has joined TikTok.
And, he is doing videos reading A Christmas Carol.
Here’s today’s video🤗🤗🤗🤗
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRVGyjte/
Kelly
@trollhattan: Oregon also has a minimum wage COLA. We divided the state into three regions where the in the boondocks the minimum wage is $12.50, most urban areas $13.50, Portland Metro $14.75.
RaflW
@Cameron: A friend of mine used to work for Fingerhut (article link, not the trash website) back in the 90s. He was really good and really smooth and got promoted to a level where he would call up ‘collectors’ of things like ltd. edition ceramic plates or whatever, and just sweet talk these lonely folks out of their money. He hated the job, but with incentives it paid really well. He just marveled at how happily so many people just parted with money to get absolute junk. Fpotus just does in on a bigger (though not grander) scale.
Sister Golden Bear
Speaking of suckers… Muskrat is trying to sell more shares of Twitter to private investors — at the original $54.40 price he paid.
RaflW
@Sister Golden Bear: “Over recent weeks we’ve received numerous inbound requests to invest in Twitter,” it read, according to a copy reviewed by Semafor.
Sure, Jan. Uh huh.
Alison Rose
I mean, speculating on who bought all of them seems silly to me, because how do we know anyone bought anything, other than the few idiots brave enough to admit it on Twitter? It’s not like any of us are working for the site where they were being sold. Couldn’t he just make up any damn number available he wanted, then claim they “sold out” whenever he wanted?
Also, for a far better way to spend your money, the fundraiser for Tammy’s husband and family is very close to the 20k goal, and it would be really nice if it could get there, if anyone hasn’t had the chance to kick in a bit yet.
Layer8Problem
@Alison Rose: ” . . . the fundraiser for Tammy’s husband and family is very close to the 20k goal . . . ”
That’s pretty damned amazing. After the usual crap we all comment on, it’s nice to see that good people can step up and help. Only $476 short!
Brachiator
@trollhattan:
Exploitation finds a way.
This is good and will help many people. However, a company I do business with hires seasonal remote workers in California and several other states to do technical support work.
This years, the majority of these workers are from an unnamed foreign country. The workers all speak English. The payroll saving will be tremendous.
Dan B
OT: Two men in Tennessee who were being investigated for Jan. 6 have been charged with planning to kill the 37 detectives who were investigating them. They got the names from the hearings for their Jan 6 attacks on cops.
Buh Bye guys…
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@trollhattan:
In 2023, Ohio’s minimum wage will be $10.10/hr for non-tipped employees, up from $9.30. It only applies to businesses with annual gross receipts of $372,000 or more per year.
The Constitutional Amendment (II-34a) passed by Ohio voters on in November 2006 states Ohio’s minimum wage shall increase on Jan. 1 of each year by the rate of inflation. The state minimum wage is tied to the Consumer Price index (CPI-W) for urban wage earners and clerical workers for the 12-month period prior to September. This CPI-W index increased by 8.7% percent over the 12-month period from Sept. 1, 2021 to Aug. 31, 2022.
One thing I’ve never understood is if the state minimum wage is tied to inflation, then how the hell is it still only $10.10? $10.10/hr is hardly enough to live on
Mai Naem mobile
@M31: that’s my thought as well. Money laundering from the autocrats. The money he gets from the rubes is just gravy on top.
Hungry Joe
This is a little out of step with the Juice attitude, but I’m looking to trade for a Trump Cowboy NFT. I’ve got a Trump Superhero, mint condition. One-for-one. Any takers?
No cranks, please.
Geminid
I saw a report in Politico that Robert Crimo Jr. has been charged with 7 felonies relating to the July 4 sniper attack in Highland Park, Illinois that left 7 people dead. Mr. Crimo helped his son obtain the rifle used in the attack.
CarolPW
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): Because when the bill was passed the minimum wage started out at $5.15, and you can’t inflation your way out of that.
kalakal
@Hungry Joe: I’ll swap it for a really rare Ted Cruz one I’ve got, it’s the snow plough driver.
Suzanne
Thursday Suzanne thought ahead, knew that Friday evening Suzanne would not want to cook, and planned to make a crockpot of chicken noodle soup at midday so it was ready by evening. Previous efforts have been meh….too much broth, not enough flavor. Anyway, this is an improvement. I still might think the broth is better when it’s a little bit thicker. I don’t have any fresh parsley, which would have been great, but I’m still going to consider it a win.
SiubhanDuinne
@rikyrah:
Oh wow, that’s wonderful!!
JPL
@zhena gogolia: Recently I saw an article that his wife convinced him to stay with the soap. After as this time, he can probably make his own hours. What an interesting person.
Kattails
If I’m reading it right, Allison Gill at Mueller She Wrote is tracking the idea that Trump supposedly selling nft’s is a cute way of getting paid for some sales of a different kind of merchandise he’s been proven to have in his possession. Yikes. he’s sold out, to the tune of few million $$.
redoubtagain
Using fake money to buy fake images of a fake president. . .
Scout211
@Suzanne: Sweet! I remember Friday nights before I retired. We always were so wiped by Friday evening that we often resorted to fast food on the way home from work. Unhealthy, but so easy.
Mr. Scout made a chicken soup for us this week. This time he added sriracha sauce and substituted Israeli couscous for the noodles. It was very yummy and very spicy.
Scout211
We can hope. Link
Wyatt Salamanca
Has Trump reached peak level buffoonery with this pathetic NFT nonsense or is he capable of doing something even dumber?
Qrop Non Sequitur
Check the rotating tags, we’ve known for years. The peak is a myth.
Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)
@CarolPW:
Good answer. It makes sense, sadly
Delk
@Suzanne: adding plain gelatin really helps thicken.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Do we have any idea how much he pocketed? enough to make some interest payments?
JML
Got sandbagged at work today by a co-worker seeking to dump more of their work on me out of nowhere. Which is delightful at a time when it feels like my boss is looking askance at not just my current performance but all the work I’ve done prior to his arrival. Dentist is referring me to the endontist for “evaluation” because they saw something on the x-rays that they couldn’t explain. And my baseball team just made the dumbest signing of the offseason.
I think I’m going to pretend this day never happened. Pizza, beer, and basketball it is.
cain
@Dan B: Bet they got a blue line american flag flying proudly on a pole.
Roger Moore
@Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):
The idea of a separate minimum wage for tipped and untipped employees is a huge scam. It lets employers grossly underpay their customer-facing employees. Here in California, tipped employees have the same minimum as anyone else, and it works just fine. If anything, I think it makes restaurants here better, because the waiters are able to make a career out of it, rather than always looking for a real job.
Roger Moore
@Wyatt Salamanca:
Peak buffoonery is like peak wingnut or the end of the rainbow; it fades ever into the distance so we can never get closer, no matter how hard we chase it.
Suzanne
@Delk: I don’t have any gelatin packets, but I do have corn starch…..and I had plans to do the cornstarch-slurry trick….. and then I was tired and hungry and said FUCK IT and just ate it.
I do real cooking on the weekends, but during the week, I just do not have the patience.
Suzanne
@Scout211: So in the pre-pandemic, we ate out almost every Friday night. Usually something cheap like Chipotle or Wildflower or similar. WFH has gotten us good at the crock pot, instant pot, etc. Spending more on groceries but less on eating out. The habit is proving to endure, as Spawn the Youngest is still little and not really good at full-service restaurants yet.
CarolPW
@Suzanne: Chicken feet – tons of collagen for thickening and cheap; just don’t look at them.
Delk
@CarolPW: when I lived in the meat packing district I could get bags of feet really easily. Cutting the toes off at the first joint really helps.
Suzanne
@CarolPW: That’s a hard pass.
Y’all, I couldn’t be bothered to reach up to a high cupboard to grab the corn starch I already have. Chicken feet? That sounds like a trip to the store.
CarolPW
@Delk: It helps the esthetics a bit but it’s still gross. Works a treat though. Wings are effective too but cost lots more.
Sure Lurkalot
@Suzanne: Chicken soup is infinitely better with a Kosher chicken. Basically brined. Actually, most all chicken dishes…
CarolPW
@Suzanne: You either bought the chicken to make the broth out of or bought the broth already made. Buy the feet at the same time.
I live in a place where anticipating an Olive Garden opening was newspaper fodder for months, and when it opened people came from out of state to celebrate anniversaries. I can’t buy dog-damned butter puff pastry anywhere within 500 miles, but I can buy chicken feet.
I had a very bad multi-store voyage looking for fucking puff pastry today so I may be a bit cranky.
Suzanne
@CarolPW: I got the ingredients at Trader Joe’s. I’ve never seen chicken feet there, but I will look next time.
ETA: they have puff pastry at Trader Joe’s!
Tim in SF
And yet they sold out.
There’s no end to the stupidity in this country.
CarolPW
@Suzanne: 500 miles or 3 years away. I’ll send you chicken feet if you send me puff pastry.
James E Powell
@Delk:
Maybe not obligatory, but apt.
El Muneco
@Scout211: Just looked it up, and while a conviction for insurrection would prevent TFG from ever holding elected office again – the maximum jail time is 10 years. So kinda mixed blessing.
The Moar You Know
@El Muneco: there is nothing you can say that will convince me that saggy bag of crap will live another five years let alone ten. The conviction is the point.
Manyakitty
@Ken: ¿Porque no los dos?
mrmoshpotato
Baked Bitchass is being sentenced on January 12 btw.
WaterGirl
@mrmoshpotato:
Who is that?
lgerard
Bored Ape sells NFTs has to be the least surprising headline of 2022
Keith P.
@CarolPW: I ordered chicken feet at a Chinese restaurant once, thinking “well, Bourdain et al say they’re great”. They came in a bowl, and they looked like tiny face-huggers, so I couldn’t even try one.
mrmoshpotato
@WaterGirl: Baked Alaska. Molly Jong-Fast’s tweet where he’s whining about going to jail, actually prison, because of Dump.
WaterGirl
@mrmoshpotato: I’m still lost. Who is whining about going to prison because of T****?
kalakal
@WaterGirl: A MAGA nutjob who uses the name Baked Alaska – real name Anthime Gionet – who was amongst the treasonous rabble on Jan 6th. Dumb git livestreamed it for which the FBI are very grateful – his buddies not so much
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@kalakal: and he tweeted this after trump’s Big Announcement
WaterGirl
@kalakal: @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Thank you!
Geminid
@kalakal: The guy’s a minor comedic internet personality. This would account for the live streaming.
I believe the “Baked” refers to the amount of weed he smokes.
WaterGirl
@kalakal: These people seem to live in their own little reality, which doesn’t bear much resemblance to the planet the rest of us live on.
Tony G
I’d say that Trump has the emotional maturity of an eight-year-old boy — but my adult sons were not this childish when they were eight. (Maybe when they were three.)
Tony G
@Keith P.: Well, there is that deleted scene from “Alien” that shows Ripley chowing down on roasted face-hugger, but I understand your reluctance.
J R in WV
And now I think I’m going to take a nap — or at least put my feet up in bed…. luv y’all~!~