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Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

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Nothing worth doing is easy.

This is dead girl, live boy, a goat, two wetsuits and a dildo territory.  oh, and pink furry handcuffs.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Burying the Lede

Burying the Lede

by John Cole|  September 30, 20239:56 pm| 121 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

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I was so excited about my parent’s new dog and all the chaos of homecoming weekend that I forgot to mention Joelle and I are now officially engaged. I mean we were engaged already, but in lieu of big ceremonies and all the bachelorette/bachelor party bullshit, we had a traditional fraternity/sorority pinning ceremony. The brothers from my fraternity showed up, both alums and current actives, in robes, and three of my pledge class guys are all ministers so they ran the show. I looked like a fat slob and uncomfortable because fucking pants, but Joelle looked good and she had a great time:

Burying the Lede

Burying the Lede 1

My parents, brother, and one sister came, and it was a nice affair. My brother informed me that he went under duress, but once he got there and realized he was going to be able to watch me miserable and uncomfortable and unable to leave for the an hour, it was all very worth it and he enjoyed it far more than he thought he would.

So that happened.

Here’s another picture of Callie, who we went and met, and she is fucking adorable.

Burying the Lede 2

She’s apparently a rescue from a shelter that was given several of them from a breeder because they could not sell them. She’s a Maltese/Poodle mix.

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Reader Interactions

121Comments

  1. 1.

    Anthony

    September 30, 2023 at 9:57 pm

    Congratulations!

  2. 2.

    Miss Bianca

    September 30, 2023 at 9:59 pm

    John, you look great, and Joelle looks lovely, and Callie is adorable. Sounds like a fine day all around for all concerned. Congratulations to the Cole clan!

  3. 3.

    schrodingers_cat

    September 30, 2023 at 9:59 pm

    Congratulations!! You two make a good looking couple.

  4. 4.

    Gin & Tonic

    September 30, 2023 at 10:00 pm

    Wishing you and Joelle decades of happiness to make up for your hour of alleged misery. But I think you actually enjoyed it.

  5. 5.

    jackmac

    September 30, 2023 at 10:00 pm

    Congrats. And Callie is a cutie.

  6. 6.

    delphinium

    September 30, 2023 at 10:04 pm

    Congratulations-you make a great couple! Glad you were surrounded by your family and friends.

  7. 7.

    Gretchen

    September 30, 2023 at 10:05 pm

    We’re old folks who are realizing that although we’ve had many 60 pound labs, maybe our next dog should be smaller, on scale with what 70 year old people can handle. But we are also shelter/rescue people, and big dogs are the usual there. It’s encouraging to think we coud get a little dog at a shelter. And congratulations on the engagement. Joelle is indeed looking good, and so are you.

  8. 8.

    MisterForkbeard

    September 30, 2023 at 10:05 pm

    @Gin & Tonic: Personally, I’m going to say “I wish you decades of no pants, in return for your hour of pantedness”

    Sacrifice for the (healthy) marriage and the results are always worth it.

  9. 9.

    Wenchacha

    September 30, 2023 at 10:06 pm

    This is all good news, which is always appreciated. Very happy for you and Joelle.

  10. 10.

    lee

    September 30, 2023 at 10:07 pm

    Wait this sounds like you are married, yet you wrote engaged.

    I’m very confused.

  11. 11.

    CaseyL

    September 30, 2023 at 10:08 pm

    I like all the different colored robes. Do the colors signify anything?

    I also like Joelle’s headpeice. Just lovely. The twigs-branches make me think of Druids.

    And Callie is Just. Too. Cute.

  12. 12.

    twbrandt

    September 30, 2023 at 10:09 pm

    Congrats to you and Joelle, and your parents!

  13. 13.

    MisterDancer

    September 30, 2023 at 10:10 pm

    Congratulations all around, John!

  14. 14.

    Tom Levenson

    September 30, 2023 at 10:11 pm

    Lovely all round. Congratulations!

  15. 15.

    MaryRC

    September 30, 2023 at 10:11 pm

    Congratulations!  Joelle looks beautiful, Callie is very cute and you look fine too.  Nice to see the young guys from your fraternity showing up for you.

  16. 16.

    trollhattan

    September 30, 2023 at 10:11 pm

    Aww, exuberantly happy for you both. May you have a joyous and long life together!

  17. 17.

    zombie rotten mcdonald

    September 30, 2023 at 10:12 pm

    Congratulations and all the best!

  18. 18.

    Old School

    September 30, 2023 at 10:14 pm

    Best wishes!

  19. 19.

    sab

    September 30, 2023 at 10:14 pm

    Wishing all of you well.. John because he is him and blogmaster, Joelle because he loves her, and also because she has been here too and we like her a lot.

    The new to you pup is a cutie who looks confused and frightened and hopeful. About what we’d expect in an adoption. She hopes for the best and fears the worst, and in your clan she will get the best. Pup is lucky. Your Mom has a few days of hard work in understanding and communicating. Everyone seems to be in good hands.

  20. 20.

    zombie rotten mcdonald

    September 30, 2023 at 10:15 pm

    I remember first hearing about John Cole when he was still a right wing grump.  Very amusing to watch him mature into an empathic, woke liberal who restores houses, saves animals, and takes care of his community.  So there!

  21. 21.

    zombie rotten mcdonald

    September 30, 2023 at 10:16 pm

    also, Joelle’s garland is simply beautiful.

  22. 22.

    TaMara

    September 30, 2023 at 10:17 pm

    Well, this is an excellent post. You cleaned up nice. Joelle always looks lovely.

    And that pup, oh, my she is squeee worthy

  23. 23.

    mrmoshpotato

    September 30, 2023 at 10:22 pm

    🎉 Congratulations to you both!

  24. 24.

    dlwchico

    September 30, 2023 at 10:22 pm

    Congrats!

    Also I need a dog like Callie for my mom.

    She’s 81 and lives alone. I got her Maya, an Australian Shepherd/Poodle cross but Maya bonded with me and is basically my dog now.

  25. 25.

    bbleh

    September 30, 2023 at 10:24 pm

    Congratulations!  And since from the picture you are obviously wood-elves, fall is a propitious time.

  26. 26.

    zhena gogolia

    September 30, 2023 at 10:26 pm

    Congratulations! Everyone looks great.

  27. 27.

    Alison Rose

    September 30, 2023 at 10:27 pm

    I had no idea there were such elaborate traditions around engagement, but congrats to you wild and crazy kids!

  28. 28.

    zeecube

    September 30, 2023 at 10:27 pm

    Mazel tov!

  29. 29.

    Ken

    September 30, 2023 at 10:30 pm

    Congratulations!

    (And I’m reminded of a joke so old I first read it in Reader’s Digest: Parent is woken up by a late-night call from daughter, who happily chirps “We’re engaged!”  Groggy parent responds, “Engaged in what?”)

  30. 30.

    glc

    September 30, 2023 at 10:32 pm

    I hope going forward someone will always know (roughly) where the mustard is. Though if not, so be it.

    All the best!

  31. 31.

    Jackie

    September 30, 2023 at 10:33 pm

    @zombie rotten mcdonald: I was there, too!

    Gives me hope for all the Never Trumpers who have either shifted to Independent or shifted to full blown Dems! We are a Big Tent party!

    Joelle looks radiant! John, you’re looking great!

    Callie is adorable! I can’t wait to see her glam shot after she goes to the doggy salon – as I’m sure mama Cole will take her to get festive bows for her ears!

  32. 32.

    Justus Kitten

    September 30, 2023 at 10:34 pm

    Wait no way? Congrats Fat Man! That’s wonderful!

  33. 33.

    Dr. Daniel Price (Saint Vincent)

    September 30, 2023 at 10:34 pm

    Your Callie looks rather like our Callie (a Holy Terrier).  No photo means only my word for it, of course.  True nonetheless.

  34. 34.

    HeleninEire

    September 30, 2023 at 10:35 pm

    Great post. Just like your original post telling us all about Joelle, this is making me weirdly, crazy happy. Like I know you or something! ☺

  35. 35.

    frosty

    September 30, 2023 at 10:36 pm

    Congratulations John! Joelle looks great, Callie is sweet, and you even look non-grumpy! What a great engagement ceremony.​

  36. 36.

    M31

    September 30, 2023 at 10:38 pm

    awww congrats!

  37. 37.

    The Kropenhagen Interpretation

    September 30, 2023 at 10:39 pm

    You don’t look like a slob in absolute terms. You look quite jolly and presentable, the beard and the polo are working together.

    It’s only that Joelle is such a vision.

  38. 38.

    Suzanne

    September 30, 2023 at 10:39 pm

    Joelle is gorgeous; you’re obviously marrying up. ;)

    Lovely Callie! A good day.

  39. 39.

    kindness

    September 30, 2023 at 10:40 pm

    Awesome John.  So happy for you for the turns your life has taken.

  40. 40.

    Yutsano

    September 30, 2023 at 10:41 pm

    *ahem*
    MAZEL TOV YA CRAZY KIDS!!!

    Now comes the move to Arizona and the selling of the old homestead. Or maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. Anyway much felicitations and happiness and yadda yadda yadda…

  41. 41.

    Kristine

    September 30, 2023 at 10:42 pm

    Congratulations and Best Wishes!

    Callie is adorable. Here’s hoping she settles quickly into her new home and it sinks in that she’s pretty much in Doggy Heaven on Earth.

  42. 42.

    Mel

    September 30, 2023 at 10:46 pm

    Joelle is absolutely lovely, and she has the kindest eyes.

    My hubby and I had our 26th anniversary this year, and he still lights my world. Wishing you and Joelle a lifetime of the same kind of love, friendship, and joy!!!!!!

  43. 43.

    Frankensteinbeck

    September 30, 2023 at 10:46 pm

    I looked like a fat slob

    No, John. You look adorable and charming. ‘Santa Claus on vacation’ vibes.

  44. 44.

    Ben Cisco

    September 30, 2023 at 10:50 pm

    Congratulations to you both!! This is very cool.

  45. 45.

    Jay

    September 30, 2023 at 10:56 pm

    Wonderful news, Congratulations to all.

  46. 46.

    Ramalama

    September 30, 2023 at 10:58 pm

    You look happy, John. Good for you.

  47. 47.

    gwangung

    September 30, 2023 at 11:00 pm

    Congratulations! (You ever get the feeling you’re marrying above yourself?)

  48. 48.

    MMM

    September 30, 2023 at 11:05 pm

    Official Congratulations!

  49. 49.

    Aimai

    September 30, 2023 at 11:08 pm

    So Happy for you both! May all good things come to you!

  50. 50.

    Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.)

    September 30, 2023 at 11:11 pm

    1. Felicidades. I know you’ll fight me and everybody else who tells you this, but she’s lucky. And so are you, though you won’t fight anybody about that.
  51. 51.

    BeautifulPlumage

    September 30, 2023 at 11:15 pm

    Congratulations all around! And thanks for sharing the great pictures. You & Joelle both beaming, the frat bros, Callie & your mom with Callie in the earlier post. A good day for all.

  52. 52.

    Matt Smith

    September 30, 2023 at 11:19 pm

    That’s a great pic of the two of you. Congrats, Cole!

  53. 53.

    Yarrow

    September 30, 2023 at 11:31 pm

    Congratulations! Joelle looks beautiful and you two look so happy.

    Callie is so cute.

  54. 54.

    rikyrah

    September 30, 2023 at 11:40 pm

    Congratulations Cole 👏🏾❤️💕

  55. 55.

    Redshift

    September 30, 2023 at 11:41 pm

    Love Joelle’s crown! It has a rather pagan look to it (speaking as a mostly lapsed neopagan, if such a thing is possible.)

  56. 56.

    BellyCat

    September 30, 2023 at 11:41 pm

    Upvoted entirely.

    ETA: Although, finding it hard to believe your brother is a bigger curmudgeon than you, JC.

  57. 57.

    Westyny

    September 30, 2023 at 11:47 pm

    Lovely, congratulations!

  58. 58.

    Villago Delenda Est

    September 30, 2023 at 11:49 pm

    Joelle is lovely, to say the least. As is Callie.

  59. 59.

    Villago Delenda Est

    September 30, 2023 at 11:50 pm

    @BellyCat: Yes, I find that incredible, in the literal meaning of the word.  Not credible that Cole’s brother is more of a curmudgeon than Cole.

  60. 60.

    Mike in NC

    October 1, 2023 at 12:01 am

    Best wishes!

  61. 61.

    NotMax

    October 1, 2023 at 12:01 am

    So that happened.

    Can’t resist.
    ;)

  62. 62.

    geg6

    October 1, 2023 at 12:04 am

    There is nothing happening here that I don’t love.  You looking so happy.  Joelle looking so lovely.  Your frat boys showing up for you.  And the awesomely cute Callie, with whom I have fallen completely in love.

  63. 63.

    Brachiator

    October 1, 2023 at 12:06 am

    Congratulations to both of you!

    Great photos.

  64. 64.

    Hob

    October 1, 2023 at 12:16 am

    Congratulations and best wishes! I love the photo.

  65. 65.

    Noskilz

    October 1, 2023 at 12:17 am

    Congratulations!

  66. 66.

    randal sexton

    October 1, 2023 at 12:22 am

    Congratulations!!!  And double so for taking the plunge,   Takes courage to take that big leap. Good on you to do it.

  67. 67.

    Dopey-o

    October 1, 2023 at 12:34 am

    I mean we were engaged already, but in lieu of big ceremonies and all the bachelorette/bachelor party bullshit, we had a traditional fraternity/sorority pinning ceremony.

    “Susie Sorority said she wanted to get pinned. I told her to see me when she wants to get nailed.”

    ————Dan Chopin, professional comedian.

  68. 68.

    owlbrick

    October 1, 2023 at 12:34 am

    :D

  69. 69.

    cintibud

    October 1, 2023 at 12:39 am

    Congratulations John and Joelle!

  70. 70.

    eclare

    October 1, 2023 at 12:41 am

    Lots of things to celebrate for the Cole family!

  71. 71.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    October 1, 2023 at 12:41 am

    if Joelle can get you to put your pants on then anything is possible! Except finding mustard, of course. It looks like a nice cult meeting you folks had there. Where’s the gallows? ;)

    Congratulations Joelle & John! *It’s all downhill after the ceremony so enjoy yourself now.

    *Not really… Wednesday my wife and I celebrated 37 years of certificated never getting into a fight or saying something we would regret. People think we’re freaks because we have never been angry with each other.

    May you both have that luck!

  72. 72.

    Sister Golden Bear

    October 1, 2023 at 12:45 am

    Congratulations to you both!

  73. 73.

    Elizabelle

    October 1, 2023 at 12:48 am

    John:  you look more happy and relaxed than I’ve ever seen in a photo.  Joelle is rocking that headpiece, and Callie is Callie.

    Cool tradition.  Wishing everyone much happiness.

  74. 74.

    Origuy

    October 1, 2023 at 12:53 am

    Congratulations!

    There’s an ancient tradition called “handfasting”, which announced an engagement. This reminds me of that. It involves tying one wrist of each person with a ribbon. The movie The Doors had Jim Morrison and Patricia Kenneally in a handfasting.

  75. 75.

    BigJimSlade

    October 1, 2023 at 12:59 am

    Congratulations!

  76. 76.

    LiminalOwl

    October 1, 2023 at 1:22 am

    Congratulations!

  77. 77.

    tobie

    October 1, 2023 at 1:27 am

    I’m late to this party but congratulations on what looks like a beautiful and fun engagement. Wishing you both many years of happiness together.

  78. 78.

    Thor Heyerdahl

    October 1, 2023 at 1:27 am

    Congratulations to both of you!

  79. 79.

    John Revolta

    October 1, 2023 at 1:33 am

    Callie is a Maltipoo. Say it, Cole. Mal-ti-poo. However, she’s gorgeous, regardless.

    And you’re a lucky so-and-so. Congratulations, ya old malcontent.

  80. 80.

    rikyrah

    October 1, 2023 at 1:41 am

    Callie is cute🤗

  81. 81.

    MomSense

    October 1, 2023 at 2:02 am

    Woah! Congratulations!

  82. 82.

    OCD

    October 1, 2023 at 2:26 am

    Congrats dude.

  83. 83.

    opiejeanne

    October 1, 2023 at 2:26 am

    Congratulations on your engagement. Joelle is lovely, her wreath of flowers is lovely, and even you, John, are lovely.

    I chuckled a little at the photo of your friends in robes because they look like some of the well-fed wizards from Unseen University (Terry Pratchett).

  84. 84.

    Arclite

    October 1, 2023 at 3:22 am

    Congrats!!

  85. 85.

    ColoradoGuy

    October 1, 2023 at 4:02 am

    Congrats! And what a canine cutie looking back at us!

  86. 86.

    Chief Oshkosh

    October 1, 2023 at 4:04 am

    Congratulations! Like Alison, I had no idea that such elaborations exist for engagements. Looks like yours gives Joelle and you joy, and adds joy to the lives of all involved, and gives joy to the universe. Congratulations again and thank you.

  87. 87.

    Spanish Moss

    October 1, 2023 at 4:29 am

    Congratulations! Great picture of the happy couple.

  88. 88.

    Studly Pantload, the emotionally unavailable unicorn

    October 1, 2023 at 4:30 am

    I’m one of the Old Ones from, yes, the Naked Mopping days – still not sure how I wound up here, what with also originally knowing BJ as a surly righty site (this site’s transformation, along with Little Green Footballs, seemed a big deal back in those Bushian days, & even then who could anticipate Joe Freakin’ Scarborough becoming a sensible voice on the MSNBC), and gotta say — Oh My Apotheosis of the Cosmic Flux, I’m so happy for you, John! – as well as for the lovely Joelle (at least I think I *should* be happy for her – right?). (Picture winky emoji here)

    All seriousness aside — Cent’anni, mazal tov, skål, and fuckin’ a!

  89. 89.

    Batocchio

    October 1, 2023 at 4:32 am

    Congratulations!

  90. 90.

    Baud

    October 1, 2023 at 5:12 am

    Congrats!

  91. 91.

    NeenerNeener

    October 1, 2023 at 5:36 am

    Late to the late night party, as always, but congratulations!

  92. 92.

    MazeDancer

    October 1, 2023 at 5:39 am

    How wonderful! And the happy couple looks happy!

  93. 93.

    Mousebumples

    October 1, 2023 at 5:51 am

    Congratulations to both of you – and to your mom on her cute new pup!

  94. 94.

    Joey Maloney

    October 1, 2023 at 5:55 am

    Who’s the doof wearing the clown nose?

    Congratulations to Joelle and consort.

  95. 95.

    Rivers

    October 1, 2023 at 6:37 am

    Stuck at the airport, flight delayed for which I got up at 3:45am – so I should be grumpy, but this news and the adorable photos fill me with joy. Thanks for rescuing my morning!

  96. 96.

    Barbara

    October 1, 2023 at 6:43 am

    Congratulations. Joelle is so lovely in her finery and it sounds like a joyful and memorable occasion for all. Your mom won the jackpot– the happiness of a son and a new dog.

  97. 97.

    J.

    October 1, 2023 at 6:44 am

    You are one lucky man, Cole. Joelle is a keeper. And your mom’s dog is adorable. Here’s to more good things.

  98. 98.

    satby

    October 1, 2023 at 6:50 am

    It was lovely and must have felt nice to see and feel all the affection the fraternal brothers and sorority sisters had for you both!

  99. 99.

    NorthLeft

    October 1, 2023 at 6:59 am

    Congratulations! Good things DO happen to good people.

  100. 100.

    Baud

    October 1, 2023 at 7:01 am

    @NorthLeft:

    And to Cole too!

  101. 101.

    KSinMA

    October 1, 2023 at 7:02 am

    Congratulations!

  102. 102.

    lowtechcyclist

    October 1, 2023 at 7:03 am

    Congrats, John, to both you and Joelle!! Cool that you got this formal engagement ceremony!

    Not that I’ve seen a bad pic of her yet, but she looks absolutely beautiful in that photo, and you don’t look half bad yourself! (Miracles still occur. ;-)

  103. 103.

    BretH

    October 1, 2023 at 7:40 am

    Much happiness to you both! I’m grinning ear to ear as I read that.

  104. 104.

    Antonius

    October 1, 2023 at 7:41 am

    Mazel tov!

  105. 105.

    SteveinPHX

    October 1, 2023 at 8:06 am

    Wish you guys a lotta happiness!

  106. 106.

    Tazj

    October 1, 2023 at 8:21 am

    Congratulations! Lovely picture of you both.

    Your mom’s dog is very cute.

  107. 107.

    Denali5

    October 1, 2023 at 8:51 am

    Congratulations! Very best to both of you!

  108. 108.

    Gregory

    October 1, 2023 at 9:05 am

    Congratulations!

  109. 109.

    la caterina

    October 1, 2023 at 9:50 am

    Congrats to you, Joelle and Cole!  What a lovely way to celebrate your engagement!

  110. 110.

    OlFroth

    October 1, 2023 at 10:10 am

    Congratulations!

  111. 111.

    Citizen_X

    October 1, 2023 at 10:31 am

    Congratulations! And it’s nice to see your frat brothers, past and present, continuing the Cole tradition of eschewing pants. Also nice to see that, like myself, you guys welcome the coming reign of our ungulate overlords!

  112. 112.

    BruceFromOhio

    October 1, 2023 at 10:40 am

    Nicely done! Congratulations to you all!

  113. 113.

    The Pale Scot

    October 1, 2023 at 11:31 am

    Egads!! Is that a mirthful look on JC’s face?

  114. 114.

    Kayla Rudbek

    October 1, 2023 at 12:52 pm

    Congratulations!

  115. 115.

    brantl

    October 1, 2023 at 1:08 pm

    The line for you to repeat to your brother is: “And you know something is happening here, but you don’t know what it is, do you Mr, Cole?”

    Congratulations John, Joelle, Mrs. Cole and the pupster.

  116. 116.

    cindiloohoo

    October 1, 2023 at 1:23 pm

    @CaseyL: youtube.com/watch?v=SVbc_Fwbt50

     

     

    @CaseyL:

  117. 117.

    Hawes

    October 1, 2023 at 1:26 pm

    This makes me unaccountably happy

  118. 118.

    ema

    October 1, 2023 at 1:41 pm

    Congratulations and best wishes!

  119. 119.

    KenK

    October 1, 2023 at 5:29 pm

    John, congratulations to you and Joelle. Wishing the very best to you both.

  120. 120.

    Manyakitty

    October 1, 2023 at 5:43 pm

    Wishing you both all the best ❤️❤️ (and yes, Joelle is radiant 💕😍)

  121. 121.

    Paul in KY

    October 2, 2023 at 9:24 am

    Congrats, John & Joelle!

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