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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Well Done Everybody!

Well Done Everybody!

by John Cole|  December 15, 20239:27 pm| 139 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House"

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Congratulations, everyone. You made it through another shit week.

Just two more weeks and we can kick 2023 in the arse.

I am down to one final pet appointment for Thurston Howl to get him road ready, and an appointment to have my tires rotated and alignment done, and then a week to pack and tie up loose ends, and I am off like a dirty shirt for Arizona.

First order of business when I get to AZ is to buy a tricycle for adults. Looking for a bike helmet with viking horns right now.

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Reader Interactions

139Comments

  1. 1.

    Alison Rose

    December 15, 2023 at 9:28 pm

    First order of business when I get to AZ is to buy a tricycle for adults. Looking for a bike helmet with viking horns right now.

    I DEMAND PHOTO EVIDENCE.

  2. 2.

    Urza

    December 15, 2023 at 9:33 pm

    2024 waiting around the corner to be the craziest year most people alive have ever seen.

  3. 3.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 9:39 pm

    Dude, Cole, you need to start covering yourself in sunblock NAOW. You need, like, SPF MAYONNAISE.

    ETA: Maybe SPF DRYWALL MUD.

  4. 4.

    frosty

    December 15, 2023 at 9:44 pm

    @Suzanne: Do they make SPF GUNITE?

  5. 5.

    Scout211

    December 15, 2023 at 9:44 pm

    and I am off like a dirty shirt for Arizona.

    Every time we left for a big car trip with kids when they were young, Mr. Scout always started the drive with, “We’re off like a dirty shirt!”

    Good times.  Thanks for bringing that memory to mind, Cole.

    On your way out of town, be sure to say to Thurston, “We’re off like a dirty shirt!”  He’ll cherish the memory.  Maybe. 😉

  6. 6.

    SpaceUnit

    December 15, 2023 at 9:46 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Sherwin Williams high-gloss latex white should do the trick.

    I made the mistake of backpacking in AZ during the summer once.  Never again.

  7. 7.

    Betty Cracker

    December 15, 2023 at 9:47 pm

    I love the bike helmet with horns idea. Very few people could pull off that look, but you are definitely one of them.

  8. 8.

    TheOtherHank

    December 15, 2023 at 9:50 pm

    Have fun in the horrible sand kingdom of Arizonastan

  9. 9.

    Yarrow

    December 15, 2023 at 9:52 pm

    You could just find a helmet that fits and get the horns separately. Helmet Flair.

  10. 10.

    Omnes Omnibus

    December 15, 2023 at 9:53 pm

    @SpaceUnit: ​
      The skin pigmentation most of my family members tends toward fish belly white. We came mainly from the northern parts of Europe and ended up in Wisconsin for a reason. A summer spent between Columbus, GA and Lawton, OK, convinced me of the wisdom of that choice.

  11. 11.

    jimmiraybob

    December 15, 2023 at 9:53 pm

    OK, I’ll be that guy.

    Unless you go the extreme southern route you should also pack for snow.  I once drove through a blizzard in OK City that was pretty darn impressive.  And then there is some of the higher country further west.  AZ north of the Mogollon Rim can be a winter wonder land.

    Extra bankies, warm socks, munchies, water, batteries, etc.

  12. 12.

    Jackie

    December 15, 2023 at 9:53 pm

    @Betty Cracker: My daughter has a fun sense of humor. She’s  also petite and can wear kids things; like the rainbow glittered unicorn bike helmet – with a gold horn – I bought her! She loves it and wears it faithfully when biking with her boys. She’s a fun 40 yr old!😁

  13. 13.

    sab

    December 15, 2023 at 9:55 pm

    @Suzanne: Do they still make zinc oxide?

  14. 14.

    Albatrossity

    December 15, 2023 at 9:56 pm

    My dad’s version was “And we’re off, like a herd of turtles!”

  15. 15.

    TaMara

    December 15, 2023 at 9:57 pm

    @sab: Yes, that’s what I wear. He’ll need to go into the baby/kid aisle and buy it – by the gallon. LOL

  16. 16.

    SpaceUnit

    December 15, 2023 at 9:57 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus:

    I’m with you.

    I live in Colorado now and there’s a solid five months when you don’t dare step out of the door without slathering yourself in sunscreen.

  17. 17.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 9:58 pm

    @sab: Oh yes. There’s lots of mineral sunscreens with zinc oxide. I personally tend to prefer the chemical sunscreens because I find that they last longer in the water.

  18. 18.

    Scout211

    December 15, 2023 at 10:00 pm

    @sab: Do they still make zinc oxide?

    Several brands of sunblock are made of zinc oxide now.  It’s back! This one is one of the ones we’ve used.

  19. 19.

    Dan B

    December 15, 2023 at 10:01 pm

    Our French Club in small bedroom town near Akron took a trip to French Canadia.  I rode with cool bachelor Phil Horrisburger in his convertible through the 1,000 Islands.  It was a brilliant low humidity day.  My nose got red.  The next day it got dark.  The day after that it turned black.  A week or two later the outer layer fell off.  Memorable!

  20. 20.

    Martin

    December 15, 2023 at 10:02 pm

    @SpaceUnit: Benjamin Moore Aura. Gotta trust me on this one.

  21. 21.

    noncarborundum

    December 15, 2023 at 10:03 pm

    @Albatrossity: In our family it’s “And we’re off with a four-note theme!” (P.D.Q Bach/Peter Schickele reference, for those who care.)

    I’d never heard the “like a dirty shirt” version. Or “herd of turtles”, for that matter. Of course I’ve heard of turtles.

  22. 22.

    BethanyAnne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:03 pm

    If you can’t find horns, I have a Mohawk like this on my motorcycle helmet.

  23. 23.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:05 pm

    @SpaceUnit:

    I made the mistake of backpacking in AZ during the summer once. 

    I made the mistake of attempting to hike Camelback on July 4 one year. I decided to go back down when I was about 2/3 the way up. That was…. an incredibly dumb thing to attempt, and I’m glad I came to my senses before Bad Shit Went Down. (I have summited Camelback on multiple occasions, but in sane conditions.)

    The sun damage on the skin is seriously no joke. Trader Joe’s makes a facial sunscreen for about $9 that is a pretty good dupe for the Supergoop, which is like $40.

    My grandfather had lost his hair, and he was good about sunblocking his head or wearing a hat. But he forgot about his ears, and a freckle on the back of his ear turned into a big chunk of melanoma. My FIL also developed melanoma on his bald head.

  24. 24.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:05 pm

    @Martin:

    Benjamin Moore Aura. 

    FUCK YES, it’s so good.

  25. 25.

    Martin

    December 15, 2023 at 10:06 pm

    Recommend the Evolo Compass Trike for Cole.

  26. 26.

    SpaceUnit

    December 15, 2023 at 10:08 pm

    @Martin:

    Aluminum foil works pretty good too.

  27. 27.

    Gwangung

    December 15, 2023 at 10:09 pm

    @Albatrossity: our steampunk version was “Great galloping thunder turtles!”

  28. 28.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:10 pm

    I am imagining Cole, in Tempe, riding an adult tricycle on the Western Canal path, and LMAO.

  29. 29.

    Albatrossity

    December 15, 2023 at 10:11 pm

    @noncarborundum: Well, off like a dirty shirt sounds a lot faster than a herd of turtles. I think my dad was mostly commenting on how long it took to organize all of us (I have five siblings) to go anywhere!

  30. 30.

    BethanyAnne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:14 pm

    @Martin: or maybe this

  31. 31.

    SuzieC

    December 15, 2023 at 10:17 pm

    Yeah let’s kick 2023’s ass!  Good news is that thanks to Bidenomics and the accelerating stock market I have more money than I ever dreamed of.  I will donate a lot of it to BJ recommended winners in 2024.

  32. 32.

    BethanyAnne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:18 pm

    @noncarborundum: I’ve only heard a few P.D.Q. Bach bits. Loved them, tho. I think my favorite was “Tocata and Fugue for Two Instruments That Don’t Like Each Other”

  33. 33.

    SpaceUnit

    December 15, 2023 at 10:19 pm

    @Suzanne:

    My friend and I attempted Sycamore Canyon in mid July, about 50 miles southwest of Flagstaff (a town I love BTW).  There was supposed to be spring and a pool.  But our guidebook was shit.

    We got lost and it seriously sucked.  I’d never been so baked and parched in my life.

  34. 34.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:20 pm

    Oh…. I had a classmate in college who would leave by saying, “Well, I’m off like a prom dress”. Always made me smirk.

  35. 35.

    Kelly

    December 15, 2023 at 10:20 pm

    Our cat Phoebe intentionally joined Mrs Kelly in the bathtub today. She has been intrigued by the bathwater for years laying on the side of the tub paddling the water. Today after a bit of paddling from the side she eased into the water and sorta quivered with excitement. Stayed in the water until Mrs Kelly got out. Totally sogged took a couple hours to dry out. One clean kitty.

  36. 36.

    HinTN

    December 15, 2023 at 10:20 pm

    @Martin: Aura is the best paint in the world. It cured what ailed my house, surely it’s good for sun block.

  37. 37.

    Jay

    December 15, 2023 at 10:23 pm

    @Dan B:

    Frostbite?

  38. 38.

    Hoppie

    December 15, 2023 at 10:25 pm

    @Urza: 1968 was a doozie,  but I suppose most people currently alive may not have been aware of it.

  39. 39.

    eclare

    December 15, 2023 at 10:29 pm

    @Kelly:

    Cute!  You have a smol tiger.

  40. 40.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:29 pm

    @SpaceUnit: Yeah, the combo of elevation and dryness (plus heat, depending on the time of year) can be brutal.

    A couple of years before I met Mr. Suzanne, I was seeing this guy who was a runner. He signed up to do the Prescott Whiskey Row half-marathon, and he asked me if I wanted to do one of the races with him. I was like, “Well, I’ll do the 10K”. (For reference, Prescott is also a mile-high city.) So, fine….. I’m running, it’s all fine, then the course turns a corner and I start hearing people saying “HOLY SHIT”. The course went up this hill that was so steep, it looked like a goddamn wall from that angle. And then….. back down the same hill. Saw a few people try to gain time by sprinting down the hill, and more than a few of them lost footing and took nasty falls. When I got home — after the race — I decided to look up the course. Turns out Runner’s World ranked it one of the ten most difficult running courses in America. Had I not been a total dumbass, I might have looked this up prior to the race.

    I’ve done a lot of dumb shit, come to think about it.

  41. 41.

    Jacel

    December 15, 2023 at 10:30 pm

    @TaMara: Of course there’s zinc oxide! Where would we be today without zinc oxide? Just watch “Zinc Oxide And You” to remind yourself how important that chemical is.
    youtube.com/watch?v=yo5g2LLxKHg

  42. 42.

    Dan B

    December 15, 2023 at 10:32 pm

    @Martin: Seems to be made in Seattle if the corner of the skyline and the towers on First Hill / Pill Hill seen from Gasworks Park is any indication.  Great looking e – trike!

  43. 43.

    frosty

    December 15, 2023 at 10:32 pm

    @Hoppie: Most of the B-J superannuated commenters will remember it. 1968 was definitely one for the history books.

  44. 44.

    Eric S.

    December 15, 2023 at 10:32 pm

    I hiked Camelback once. 25 years ago or so. It was in January.

    JG Cole, I know you aren’t much of a car guy but think about visiting one of the car auctions in January. I understand it may not be your cup of tea, but Barrett-Jackson is a spectacle. A lot of walking but good people watching and couple, three trillion cars.

  45. 45.

    SomeRandomGuy

    December 15, 2023 at 10:34 pm

    Who wants to find someone to construct an adult sized Big Wheel for John? Just me? I’ll come in again….

    Man, I used to like bicycling – so much better than walking, because you can actually *get* somewhere, even if it’s only to the convenience store with the best hot dogs and nachos for lunch.

  46. 46.

    noncarborundum

    December 15, 2023 at 10:35 pm

    @BethanyAnne: I don’t know that one, but I’m a big fan of the Concerto for Piano vs. Orchestra.  Also, speaking of obscure references, the Concerto for Horn and Hardart.  “And they’re off with a four-note theme” is from a bit that imagines radio announcers commenting on Beethoven’s Fifth as if it were a sporting event.

  47. 47.

    Jacel

    December 15, 2023 at 10:35 pm

    @BethanyAnne: “Echo Sonata For Two Unfriendly Groups Of Instruments”

    youtube.com/watch?v=ngsY8FX2gQM

  48. 48.

    Dan B

    December 15, 2023 at 10:36 pm

    @Jay: It was 80° F.  27° C ?  Not frostbite.

  49. 49.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:37 pm

    @Eric S.: I’d agree with that.

    Cole, you’ll also be there during the Phoenix Open, which is also a good time. Another time you’re there, you can check out the Arabian Horse Show.

  50. 50.

    Scout211

    December 15, 2023 at 10:38 pm

    @frosty: superannuated commenters

    Wow. That sounds so much better than “old.”

    And yes, I do remember 1968.  The year I got my driver’s license!

    Oh. Did something else happen that year?

  51. 51.

    Chetan Murthy

    December 15, 2023 at 10:38 pm

    @SomeRandomGuy: My sister tells me that the modern equivalent of that is an e-bike.  She tells me that she tools all over town on that sucker (and she’s got a car).  And this is SF, so that means up-and-down hills.

  52. 52.

    laura

    December 15, 2023 at 10:39 pm

    @Kelly: This is such wonderful news. A most excellent cat tale👏

  53. 53.

    SomeRandomGuy

    December 15, 2023 at 10:41 pm

    @Suzanne: I’m partial to “Let’s FELLATE this portable popsicle purveyance!” (aka, “let’s blow this popsicle stand.”)

  54. 54.

    noncarborundum

    December 15, 2023 at 10:43 pm

    @Scout211: I turned 10 in 1968. Does that make me just annuated?

    I remember arguing with my mother that summer that I should be allowed to stay up past my bedtime to watch Star Trek (a rerun of “Where No Man Has Gone Before”, IIRC), pointing out that I was “a whole decade old”. As I recall, she was not impressed.

  55. 55.

    Hoppie

    December 15, 2023 at 10:43 pm

    @frosty: Indeed, I figured as much.  Scary how much participatory blogs are yesterday’s thing, eh?  Also, climate change makes me glad to be oldish.

  56. 56.

    wombat probability cloud

    December 15, 2023 at 10:44 pm

    John, hope you have safe and interesting travels, and fabulous food once you arrive.

  57. 57.

    Jay

    December 15, 2023 at 10:44 pm

    @Dan B:

    You said convertible, French Canada, Thousand Islands, so it could have been frostbite, symptoms are the same.

  58. 58.

    karen marie

    December 15, 2023 at 10:44 pm

    @Alison Rose: He’s going to be riding it only in Joelle’s driveway because taking it on a road here would be suicide.

  59. 59.

    SpaceUnit

    December 15, 2023 at 10:46 pm

    @Suzanne:

    Ha.

    Me too (dumb shit).

  60. 60.

    karen marie

    December 15, 2023 at 10:49 pm

    @jimmiraybob: The road from Flagstaff to Phoenix in December, when I did it, was terrifying. Very steep, very windy, and lots of tractor trailers. Plus snow. I thought my car was broken at one point when I kept losing power and having to downshift. Car was fine. It was the steepness of the grade.

  61. 61.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 15, 2023 at 10:51 pm

    @Alison Rose: I was just about to say!

  62. 62.

    eclare

    December 15, 2023 at 10:51 pm

    @Suzanne:

    In no particular order, I give heat, lightning, and strange dogs much respect when outdoors.  I do not mess with any of them.

  63. 63.

    Kelly

    December 15, 2023 at 10:51 pm

    @SomeRandomGuy: Sort of an Adult Big Wheel Google “tadpole trike”.

  64. 64.

    SomeRandomGuy

    December 15, 2023 at 10:54 pm

    Hearing people talk about SPF brought to mind a fascinating fact. SPF is diminishing returns. An SPF of 10 means it blocks 90% of UV. SPF 20 means it blocks 95%. SPF 50 means it blocks 98%… once you’re past SPF 10, you’re battling for that final 10% of UV.

    Once you get to those kinds of values, how long it remains on the skin is often more important than how high the initial SPF is – you don’t care if it says you could stay in the sun for 8 hours, if it washes off after 4!  Heh. And, you do want to consider SPF: Drywall mud (=”go back inside the house for a bit, after having fun in the sun”) as part of your protection plan.

  65. 65.

    BethanyAnne

    December 15, 2023 at 10:55 pm

    @Jacel: hehe, that’s so great. I scared the cats laughing

  66. 66.

    eclare

    December 15, 2023 at 10:55 pm

    @SomeRandomGuy:

    Siestas exist for a reason…

  67. 67.

    Devore

    December 15, 2023 at 10:59 pm

    Yeah.  The southern route might not be a bad idea that time of year.    But I40 cross country is memorable.   Makes you appreciate just big the US is

  68. 68.

    Alison Rose

    December 15, 2023 at 11:05 pm

    @karen marie: That makes it even better.

  69. 69.

    NotMax

    December 15, 2023 at 11:06 pm

    Ahem.

    Viking warriors are associated with horned helmets in popular culture, but there is no evidence that Viking helmets had horns. The depiction of these horned helmets as historical is a fallacy that began in the 1870s. It was part of the construction of great Norse myths to be adopted by Germans, who wanted their own ancestral myths.

    The depiction of Vikings in horned helmets was an invention of the 19th-century Romanticist Viking revival. In 1876, Carl Emil Doepler created horned helmets for the first Bayreuth Festival production of Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen, which has been credited with inspiring this, even though the opera was set in Germany, not Scandinavia. There were also a few earlier, lesser known depictions that inspired Doepler. Source

    ;)

    Considering an electric trike?

  70. 70.

    2liberal

    December 15, 2023 at 11:09 pm

    Sun Cyclery in PHX is a good place for trikes and recumbents. I’m driving a Terra Trike Rambler which i personally recommend for normal sized persons (6′ tall about 300 LBs is normal)

     

    terratrike.com/product/rambler/

  71. 71.

    Alison Rose

    December 15, 2023 at 11:09 pm

    @SomeRandomGuy: Well…as a whiter-than-white bitch, I’ll just say that in my previous life, if I spent time in the sun with anything less than SPF30, it was like I wasn’t wearing anything at all. I pretty much only used SPF50 and if it had been feasible, I would have simply cannonballed into a vat of it before leaving the house. Very fun to have a skin tone that says “I grew up barricaded inside a cave in Siberia”.

  72. 72.

    Martin

    December 15, 2023 at 11:11 pm

    @BethanyAnne: Those are a thing.

  73. 73.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 15, 2023 at 11:14 pm

    I’ve read a number (not all) of the comments on the various types and strengths of sunblocks in this thread.  I can’t speak to that, since the advice I got while growing up in Saudi Arabia was don’t walk around outside in the fucking daytime in the fucking summer.  Perhaps we were victims of an earlier, more innocent, less commercialized time….

  74. 74.

    piratedan

    December 15, 2023 at 11:15 pm

    Mrs. Pirate has purchased a few rides from this venue:

    archersbikes.com/about/mesa-pg134.htm

    she has found them trustworthy folks, naturally ymmv.

  75. 75.

    BethanyAnne

    December 15, 2023 at 11:21 pm

     

     

    @Martin: I was hoping to find a good image of an adult sized red and yellow plastic pedal one.

  76. 76.

    karen marie

    December 15, 2023 at 11:24 pm

     

    @Harrison Wesley: What years were you there? My dad worked there late ’76 through mid ’78. I went for the summer and Christmas in ’77. Went to a boarding school in Las Palmas, Gran Canarias ’72-’73 with a bunch of Aramco kids. One of them was named Wesley.

  77. 77.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 11:24 pm

    @karen marie:

    He’s going to be riding it only in Joelle’s driveway because taking it on a road here would be suicide.

    Agree. The canal path or side streets are the only safe places, IMO.

    A friend of mine was killed in Scottsdale while riding her bike two years ago. And I am one or two degrees of separation from probably seven other people who were killed while riding bikes in PHX over the years. Those big, straight roads with douchebags in giant pickups…. deadly.

  78. 78.

    NotMax

    December 15, 2023 at 11:25 pm

    @noncarborundum

    To get all pedanty, Where No Man Has Gone Before was a first season episode so the rerun would have aired in 1967.

  79. 79.

    dmsilev

    December 15, 2023 at 11:26 pm

    @Harrison Wesley: Yeah, that tracks. I had a summer student last year who had lived for a while as a kid in the UAE and she said that in the summer, you scuttled quickly from building to car, and then car to building at your destination, and staying outside was a ‘avoid if at all possible’ thing.

  80. 80.

    Suzanne

    December 15, 2023 at 11:29 pm

    @Harrison Wesley: You should wear sunblock year-round in southern AZ, honestly. Cole is white.

  81. 81.

    frosty fred

    December 15, 2023 at 11:33 pm

    @jimmiraybob: ​
     

    I got snowed in in Dallas, one February.

  82. 82.

    karen marie

    December 15, 2023 at 11:33 pm

    @dmsilev: That’s pretty funny. My dad worked for a small architecture subcontractor doing work for Aramco. He was assigned a non airconditioned pickup truck. My parents and I rode in the cab, my brother in the truckbed. It was hot the summer I was there (’77) but – maybe it was my youth – it wasn’t as bad as AZ. Having access to the gulf made a difference.

  83. 83.

    RandomMonster

    December 15, 2023 at 11:34 pm

    John, the QShaman might have some horned headwear you can borrow. He’s there in AZ…

  84. 84.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 15, 2023 at 11:35 pm

    @karen marie: I was well gone by then – went there for 3rd through 9th grades in school, then went elsewhere to high school while the rest of my family lived there (Dhahran, BTW), went back after 1st year of college, but after getting expelled from school had to get a job.  Last year I was there was either ’69 or ’70…..years of various substance abuse have clouded the memory somewhat.

    As an amuse-bouche, prior to SA I lived in Iran (Abadan, to be exact) and went to the 1st grade there.  Alas, my only memory of Farsi, which I don’t know how to transliterate, is (roughly) ‘pansado bist’ which was my street address in case I got lost.

    And, no, I’m not Harrison.  This has been tonight’s budget travelogue.

  85. 85.

    Aussie Sheila

    December 15, 2023 at 11:37 pm

    @sab: Ahhhh. Zinc Cream! When we were young, the ‘go to’ for sun protection downunder. Since our family are all red heads or other wise extremely fair, it was a must to protect from the fierce southern hemisphere sun.

    Yes, it is stronger downunder than in the northern hemisphere, owing to the 20 degree tilt of the earth. The strength of the sun here in Summer is unfathomable unless you have experienced it.

    Personally, I love it, but my skin doesn’t .

  86. 86.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 15, 2023 at 11:38 pm

    @Suzanne: Have a care there.  He identifies as ‘white’ but what do we really know?

  87. 87.

    Chetan Murthy

    December 15, 2023 at 11:39 pm

    @Aussie Sheila: And, IIRC, the ozone hole over Antarctica (which isn’t completely healed).

  88. 88.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 15, 2023 at 11:41 pm

    @karen marie: You ever make it to Half Moon Bay or were y’all in Ras Tanura?

  89. 89.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 15, 2023 at 11:45 pm

    @Albatrossity:

    Well, off like a dirty shirt sounds a lot faster than a herd of turtles. I think my dad was mostly commenting on how long it took to organize all of us (I have five siblings) to go anywhere! 

    LOL!  My grandpa said the same thing!  It’s become an emoji message whenever my parents and I go visit family.

    🐢🐢🐢

  90. 90.

    Aussie Sheila

    December 15, 2023 at 11:51 pm

    @Chetan Murthy: Yes, that too. Although my understanding is that it  is now closed over. At the time it was a big deal, and the government messages about using sun screen were unrelenting. Quite properly of course. People are much more aware of the danger from the Australian sun now than they used to be.

  91. 91.

    noncarborundum

    December 15, 2023 at 11:52 pm

    @NotMax: Well, I distinctly remember the “decade” thing, so it had to be 1968. I probably just misremembered which episode it was (I did say “IIRC”).

  92. 92.

    karen marie

    December 15, 2023 at 11:59 pm

    @Harrison Wesley: No, we were in Dhahran North – which probably did not exist when you were there. It was pretty close to Dhahran.  As a subcontractor employee/family, we couldn’t shop there. I remember going with my parents to visit a work acquaintance of my dad. It was like another planet. Dhahran North was an area of desert they’d scraped the loose sand off and plunked down a couple hundred identical white, prefab 2 and 3 bedroom homes, with a fence around the whole thing, and a 24-hour sentry at the gate between the family and bachelor camps and at the two exits. No one hung around outside.

    I got a job as a secretary for an American aggregate sub rather than spend May through mid September inside that box. The sub had several sunfish sailboats and two motorboats for waterskiing they’d haul to the beach every weekend for use by employees – including lucky me! It was wonderful.

  93. 93.

    NotMax

    December 16, 2023 at 12:04 am

    @noncarborundum

    No disrespect intended. Frequent user of IIRC myself., IIRC.
    ;)

  94. 94.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 16, 2023 at 12:04 am

    @karen marie: Christ, that sounds like the surface of Mars or something.  I mean, Old-Time Dhahran wasn’t any great shakes (or sheiks, if you like bad word play), but it was sorta-kinda community.

    ETA:  Tomorrow afternoon I’m going to a presentation by somebody recently returned from SA.  Will be curious how things have changed.

  95. 95.

    Quaker in a Basement

    December 16, 2023 at 12:06 am

    ironhorsehelmets.com/silver-motorcycle-helmet-bull-horns/

  96. 96.

    karen marie

    December 16, 2023 at 12:16 am

    @Harrison Wesley: You might be someone who knows. In Dammam there was a guy on the street cooking these things to sell to passersby. I have no idea what they’re called. He had a big metal drum stood up, with fire inside, and a big, round metal plate on top for the cooking surface. Remembering back 46 years, I think he put a ladle of a thin batter on the greased (butter? ghee?) griddle and then a maybe 8 inch square of maybe a single sheet of phyllo on the batter, or the other way around, and then banana and maybe a sprinkle of sugar, and then he’d fold it in quarters and fry it till it was crispy and brown. He’d quarter it, put it on a paper plate or just paper, squeeze a bit of lemon, and hand it over.

    They were so good. I can still taste and smell them 46 years later.

    Not being able to have delicious things I once tasted irks me. I wish I knew what it was so I have a name for this desire.

  97. 97.

    karen marie

    December 16, 2023 at 12:25 am

    @Harrison Wesley: It was pretty grim. A friend of my parents in the states was a real estate agent. She gave me a “sold, we have others” sign that I brought along so we could tell which one was ours. My brother and I dug a little ditch along the front of the box, backfilled it with sand, and planted oleander cuttings. They grew surprisingly well. No one else bothered.

    The dust was insane. If you hit the stuffed furniture clouds of it would shoot out.

    Yeah, you Aramco kids didn’t know what living was! Hahaha.

  98. 98.

    frosty

    December 16, 2023 at 12:29 am

    @Aussie Sheila: ​My go-to hat is from Conner Hats down under. UPF50, certified by the Australian Radiation Protection and Nuclear Safety Agency. Serious stuff!!​

  99. 99.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 16, 2023 at 12:31 am

    @karen marie: Meat pastries are the only things I remember – anything with fruit or veggies was from elsewhere.  Probably following later hiring trends.  If you want to learn how to make them, better off with a Filipino cookbook.

  100. 100.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 16, 2023 at 12:36 am

    @karen marie: Ah, yes, oleander – what a beautiful plant!  Poisonous as shit, but beautiful.

    Everybody (including we ourselves) refer to us as “Aramco Brats” by the way.  Spoiled, pampered, etc., etc.  All true.  As one might expect, an awful lot of my compatriots are MAGA, and I’m a pretty right-wing Democrat myself (Democratic Freedom Caucus is my vehicle of choice).  I have no desire whatsoever to let the swinish oaf replicate KSA here, however.

  101. 101.

    Sister Golden Bear

    December 16, 2023 at 12:38 am

    @SomeRandomGuy: I think Cole requires SPF Thermonuclear-proof.

  102. 102.

    karen marie

    December 16, 2023 at 12:40 am

    @Harrison Wesley: The food differences between Dammam and Al Khobar surprised me. In Dammam, schwarmas were made with something akin to hot dog buns where Al Khobar’s were pita. But who knows – I only ate schwarmas in Al Khobar at a Lebanese joint. I don’t remember any street food in the outdoor evening market in Al Khobar.

  103. 103.

    karen marie

    December 16, 2023 at 12:45 am

    @Harrison Wesley: “Aramco brats” – yeah, didn’t want to say …

    After doing a school year with them in Las Palmas, I felt like I understood the problem when I wound up there three years later.

  104. 104.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 16, 2023 at 12:46 am

    @karen marie: Dammam had basically nothing when I lived in SA.  Khobar was pretty limited, and street vendors there – or anywhere else I went, even Riyadh – were non-existent.  Obviously much changed very quickly, and it sounds like it was for the better (can’t have too many street vendors).

    As far as schwarma, I guess I’m spoiled by what I’ve eaten in Beirut.  But it is mos def something that BBQ/picnic folks here should pick up on.  It’s not hard to make, and it’s delicious.

  105. 105.

    Harrison Wesley

    December 16, 2023 at 12:48 am

    @karen marie: I’m glad you recognized that “Aramco brats” was not the marketing name for some new Halal sausage.  White privilege?  Who – us?

  106. 106.

    Doc Sardonic

    December 16, 2023 at 12:54 am

    @karen marie: You might be thinking of muttabaq, spelling may be off but it is a savory or sweet pastry. Recipes and demos can be found on YouTube.

  107. 107.

    prostratedragon

    December 16, 2023 at 1:08 am

    Cary Grant channeling (quite well) Noel Coward: “Mad Dogs and Englishmen”.

  108. 108.

    karen marie

    December 16, 2023 at 1:37 am

    @Harrison Wesley: Lebanese make the best shwarma, no contest. I had some pretty good ones in Boston in the ’90s. Hard to find places that don’t make them huge and – even harder – ones that have the pickle.

    There’s a place here, owned by Syrians. Theirs are pretty good but I have to bring it home and make two, and no pickles.

  109. 109.

    karen marie

    December 16, 2023 at 1:38 am

    @Doc Sardonic: Oh, thank you! I will look for it!

    ADD: That is precisely it!

    Well, not precisely but as good as. Thanks again!

  110. 110.

    Aussie Sheila

    December 16, 2023 at 1:43 am

    @frosty: Well I have never heard of those hats, but they sound super protective. The issue here is to keep the direct sun off exposed skin, and to cover any exposed skin with appropriate SPF cream. The other and main point, is that no one should be out in the midday to 3pm sun in summer for more than 15 minutes unless you have suitable sun cover. And I don’t mean just cream, no matter what the packaging says.

    I swim a lot. Always before 10.00am or after 4pm in the summer.

  111. 111.

    frosty

    December 16, 2023 at 2:24 am

    @Aussie Sheila: ​I got my first Conner Hat when the dermatologist said I had to wear sunscreen and a hat any time I went outside. Since I’m essentially bald I’ve been wearing a hat for 40? years. Sunscreen runs right off with sweat so I looked around. Anything that works for Aussies should work for me. Last two annual appointments were good!​

  112. 112.

    John Revolta

    December 16, 2023 at 2:30 am

    @karen marie: I found a banana version kookeazy.blogspot.com/2015/10/mutabbaq-stuffed-layered-arabian-flat.html

  113. 113.

    Aussie Sheila

    December 16, 2023 at 2:38 am

    @frosty: Yes. Sunscreen runs off with sweat or water. Hence either stay out of the sun in the worst part of the day, or cover up completely. Unfortunately there’s no other option when the Sun is as fierce as it is here.

  114. 114.

    M. Bouffant

    December 16, 2023 at 3:22 am

    J.C., is this the look you’re going for?

  115. 115.

    opiejeanne

    December 16, 2023 at 3:35 am

    @noncarborundum: I’ve seen PDQ Bach in concert 3 times, and the first was at the Dorothy Chandler in LA.  A couple of the local sportscasters did the play-by-play and “color”, and the tympanist did a commercial for a shaving foam at the half-time. That was probably in 1974. They gave us each a glass of champagne before it began, to loosen us up, and Peter Schickele slid down a rope from the balcony and ran up the aisle to the stage.

    He used to put on a great show.

  116. 116.

    Chris T.

    December 16, 2023 at 4:18 am

    There needs to be a better phrase than “having the tires rotated”. Rotating: that’s what they do. They rotate! Why would you rotate them when they already rotate?

    (yeah, I know, Andy Rooney did it better)

  117. 117.

    mrmoshpotato

    December 16, 2023 at 4:31 am

    @Chris T.: Having the tires removed, bounced once for good luck, and reinstalled on a different axle?

  118. 118.

    Nancy

    December 16, 2023 at 4:53 am

    I want a grown-up trike and a safe place to ride it.

    I love the image of you, John Cole, on your trike, helmeted, horned, and sun blocked, conquering new worlds, sort of a Viking vibe.

  119. 119.

    raven

    December 16, 2023 at 6:18 am

    @Aussie Sheila: Mad dogs and Englishmen.

  120. 120.

    rikyrah

    December 16, 2023 at 6:54 am

    A picture of you in the helmet, please😂

  121. 121.

    lowtechcyclist

    December 16, 2023 at 7:12 am

    @Suzanne: ​
     

    Dude, Cole, you need to start covering yourself in sunblock NAOW. You need, like, SPF MAYONNAISE.

    ETA: Maybe SPF DRYWALL MUD.

    That had me laughing so hard, I needed to catch my breath afterwards. The SPF Mayonnaise was good enough, but when you topped it with the SPF Drywall Mud, that took it over the top.

    And of course it would be our resident construction expert who’d come up with the drywall mud. :-)

    Damn, I’m still laughing.

  122. 122.

    Beatrice Blacklow

    December 16, 2023 at 7:37 am

    @Scout211: It was the year I first got high.

  123. 123.

    lowtechcyclist

    December 16, 2023 at 7:45 am

    @BethanyAnne:

    I’ve only heard a few P.D.Q. Bach bits. Loved them, tho. I think my favorite was “Tocata and Fugue for Two Instruments That Don’t Like Each Other”

    Anyone here familiar with Beethoven’s Wig? They do ‘singalong symphonies,’ most of which are absolutely hilarious.  My favorite, I think, is “Please Don’t Play Your Violin At Night,” their takeoff on “Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.”  And I’d been (past tense!) counting down the days to my retirement along with “It’s the Same Every Verse” to Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King.”

    Speaking of which, I went in and turned in my badge, laptop, and parking pass yesterday morning, signed the appropriate papers, got my retiree badge, and was out of there in fifteen minutes.

    My wife and I had planned to have lunch afterwards, but it was only 9:20am, so we ran some errands, and then had an excellent early lunch at Chris’ Charcoal Pit (a Greek place in Edgewater, MD), and after we came home, I napped most of the afternoon away.

    Woke up, cleared the work stuff of my desk and put it in a box for the shredder, and once it was out of the way I was able to dust off my desk for the first time in months, so it desperately needed it.  The room just felt so much better, too, with all that crap out of the way.  I was able to semi-organize some HOA stuff that had been piling up too.  Hardly all neat and filed (that’s not gonna happen), but at least now I know which pile to look through if I need to find something.  For the first time in years, I don’t feel overwhelmed by the chaos.

    And then last night, I slept for eight hours.  Can’t remember when’s the last time I managed that.

    I’ve got a haircut appointment at 8:30 so I guess I’d better get dressed and ready for that. The first day of the rest of my life!

  124. 124.

    Philbert

    December 16, 2023 at 7:58 am

    @Alison Rose:

    Only a recumbent for Cole!

  125. 125.

    NotMax

    December 16, 2023 at 8:02 am

    @lowtechcyclist

    Eine Kleine Nachtmusik

    One Schickele bit described a yokel who heard that on the radio and later went to the record store, asking for “I’m Inclined to Knock Music.”

  126. 126.

    eclare

    December 16, 2023 at 8:04 am

    @lowtechcyclist:

    Sounds wonderful!

  127. 127.

    Yarrow

    December 16, 2023 at 8:07 am

    @lowtechcyclist:  Congratulations on your retirement! Enjoy!

  128. 128.

    Steeplejack

    December 16, 2023 at 8:12 am

    @lowtechcyclist:

    👍

  129. 129.

    BellyCat

    December 16, 2023 at 8:53 am

    @lowtechcyclist: FANTASTIC!!!

  130. 130.

    brantl

    December 16, 2023 at 9:03 am

    @Nancy:  … and being picked up by the psych ward.

  131. 131.

    Denali5

    December 16, 2023 at 9:32 am

    @lowtechcyclist:

    Congratulations on your retirement! Enjoy! Do not sign up for too much though. This is your time!

  132. 132.

    Skepticat

    December 16, 2023 at 10:20 am

    Your first, second at worst, order of business when you get to Arizona ought to be registering to vote.

    And in my family, the departure line was “We’re off … but only slightly.”

    Safe travels.

  133. 133.

    karen marie

    December 16, 2023 at 10:24 am

    @John Revolta: I did too!  I am delighted!

  134. 134.

    dnfree

    December 16, 2023 at 11:07 am

    @Skepticat: In our family we say “I’m off, but no more than usual.”  Similar!

  135. 135.

    Miss Bianca

    December 16, 2023 at 11:08 am

    @Albatrossity: That was my dad’s version too! I still use it myself on occasion.

  136. 136.

    Ron from MN

    December 16, 2023 at 11:09 am

    @lowtechcyclist: Congrats on the retirement!! it is definitely not overrated!!!!!

  137. 137.

    Hidalgo de Arizona

    December 16, 2023 at 1:07 pm

    If you’re looking for a good place to buy a quality trike – and not something that’ll tip over when you try going around a corner – I’d strongly recommend Sun Cyclery in Phoenix.  They have a great selection of quality trikes – generally including used ones.  If you’re going for an el-cheapo sit-up trike (which I would not recommend) you can check in with Bike Saviours in Tempe, which is a really nice community bike co-op – they get them in on occasion and it’ll be cheaper there than anywhere else.

    Anyways, enjoy the desert cycling!  It’s amazing, in no small part because Phoenix is flat as a board.  Just remember to use lights if you’re out cycling after dark – the obvious safety aside, the cops have a massive stick up their collective rears and will happily ticket you for riding without lights after dark.

  138. 138.

    Dan B

    December 16, 2023 at 1:42 pm

    @Dan B: Oops.  The background to the Compass ev tricycle is downtown Seattle from West Seattle looking across Elliot Bay and to the left is Queen Anne Hill.  The new 70 story skyscraper looks like the Columbia Tower so it throws me off.

  139. 139.

    lowtechcyclist

    December 16, 2023 at 2:06 pm

    Thanks, y’all!

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