Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Just because you believe it, that does not make it true.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it is a trap.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

Celebrate the fucking wins.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Giving up is unforgivable.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Merry Christmas, John Cole!

Reader Interactions

43Comments

  5. 5.

    bbleh

    Well this is just appalling!  I have alerted the founder of Moms For Liberty and … oh … she’s busy …

  7. 7.

    Scout211

    That’s funny!

    This You Tube tells the back story and the narrator in the video says the author is a local man from “Fort St. John.”

    ETA: British Columbia?

    ETA2:  It was meant as a parody book only for friends but then ended up going viral.

  9. 9.

    wmd

    Richard Mayhew talked about hookers and blow a lot more than John to the best of my recollection. Since he dropped the pseudonym it seems to be a bit less prevalent.

  15. 15.

    Scout211

    Shouldn’t book two in the series be called Anthrax and Tire Rims, A Very Special Christmas Feast?

    I’ll let myself out . . .

  19. 19.

    Kelly

    Growing up in timber country a “hooker” was the guy that set choker cables around logs so they  could be “yarded to the landing” ie pulled to the road. Imaging my surprise when found out the other meaning.

  20. 20.

    gene108

    Flew from Philadelphia to San Diego today for my cousin’s daughter’s wedding Wednesday. Hadn’t flown since 2019.

    Sweet Jesus, I totally forgot what an unpleasant experience flying is these days.

    It was exhausting.

  21. 21.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Kelly: The origin of “Hooker” for a sex worker is said to be after a General Joseph Hooker during the American Civil War…they followed the soldiers around.

  24. 24.

    zhena gogolia

    I hate this moment when the hors d’oeuvres are all out and you’re just waiting for the guests. (half an hour before they’re due)

  28. 28.

    Ruckus

    @gene108:

    It’s a tad better if you aren’t flying on one of the busiest times of the year, when everyone wants to be where they are going – yesterday.

    I used to fly 8-9 months of the year, all around the country. OK I’ll tell the story. I worked in professional sports and often would have to take the back gate (what the participants and their crews paid to get into the facility and participate) back to the office. Once, flying out of SanFran, (before TSA) checked in, got my carry on looked at and went to the gate and boarded the plane. About 10 minutes later the announcement was made that one of the bag checkers thought that they had seen a knife in a bag. So everyone had to take their carry on back outside the bag check and go through scanners and bag check again. This had been on of our most popular events so I had about $35,000 cash in my carry on. Xray goes fine. Hand check the woman looking in my bag YELLS OUT – “FULL OF CASH!” I told her to shut up, the supervisor ran over and told her to shut up, but of course she yelled it out again. Every single person in that wing of the SF airport knew my bag was full of cash. I had to sit for a 5 hr flight with my bag between my legs and I could not catch a nap.

  36. 36.

    eversor

    @WaterGirl:

    Hookers and blow are always great fun until you start to have blood pressure problems.

    I’m all for legalizing prostitution and sex work in general as it’s not going anywhere and sex workers should have protection and not be afraid of the law.

    I’m not 100% on legalizing cocaine as legal weed, mushrooms, and DMT has resulted in the (utterly predictable) entire blocks stinking of weed smoke and pot shops everywhere.  While I’m a fan of this and enjoy it (why yes, there is a weed shop next to Georgetown Cupcake, what genius idea, don’t mind if I have some of both!) I’ve heard from friends with kids that like vaping it’s out of control now.  Not that banning it will stop kids from getting it either.  It’s a fucking plant and a fungus!  I don’t think bags of blow selected for strength rating is the way to go as I know where that will end.

    That said blow is still all over the place and you can find it most bars, restaurants, clubs, law firms, hedge funds, consulting firms, and non profits without much effort.  I hear it’s popular in congress as well!  So we are mostly pretending that the nation isn’t up to it’s eyeballs in cocaine and nobody really cares.  Because it’s a silly thing to care about.

  38. 38.

    wjca

    @Villago Delenda Est: The origin of “Hooker” for a sex worker is said to be after a General Joseph Hooker during the American Civil War…they followed the soldiers around.

    So, we’re looking at a book, set during the Civil War, about how Christmas was saved by General Hooker (and/or his associate prostitutes) and the Army bag pipes?  Sounds entirely reasonable.

    EDT And, except for the detail of Hooker being a Union general rather than a Confederate, right in the MAGA-world wheelhouse.

  43. 43.

    chrome agnomen

    I think George Santos has indicated he wrote this one as a follow-up to Lord of the Rings.

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