Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s not hopeless, and we’re not helpless.

This fight is for everything.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

Sadly, media malpractice has become standard practice.

Incompetence, fear, or corruption? why not all three?

Maybe you would prefer that we take Joelle’s side in ALL CAPS?

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Everybody saw this coming.

It’s pointless to bring up problems that can only be solved with a time machine.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

“Jesus paying for the sins of everyone is an insult to those who paid for their own sins.”

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL.

If marriage is the equivalent of selling yourself into slavery, women with self respect should reject the offer.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

The lights are all blinking red.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

The problem people have with Biden’s age is the color of the VPs skin.

Russia bombs Ukraine’s maternity hospitals; Republicans in the House can’t sort out supporting Ukraine.

You cannot shame the shameless.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself. We’re allowed to grow past that.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

You are here: Home / Balloon Juice / Merry Christmas, John Cole!

Reader Interactions

43Comments

  5. 5.

    bbleh

    Well this is just appalling!  I have alerted the founder of Moms For Liberty and … oh … she’s busy …

  7. 7.

    Scout211

    That’s funny!

    This You Tube tells the back story and the narrator in the video says the author is a local man from “Fort St. John.”

    ETA: British Columbia?

    ETA2:  It was meant as a parody book only for friends but then ended up going viral.

  9. 9.

    wmd

    Richard Mayhew talked about hookers and blow a lot more than John to the best of my recollection. Since he dropped the pseudonym it seems to be a bit less prevalent.

  15. 15.

    Scout211

    Shouldn’t book two in the series be called Anthrax and Tire Rims, A Very Special Christmas Feast?

    I’ll let myself out . . .

  19. 19.

    Kelly

    Growing up in timber country a “hooker” was the guy that set choker cables around logs so they  could be “yarded to the landing” ie pulled to the road. Imaging my surprise when found out the other meaning.

  20. 20.

    gene108

    Flew from Philadelphia to San Diego today for my cousin’s daughter’s wedding Wednesday. Hadn’t flown since 2019.

    Sweet Jesus, I totally forgot what an unpleasant experience flying is these days.

    It was exhausting.

  21. 21.

    Villago Delenda Est

    @Kelly: The origin of “Hooker” for a sex worker is said to be after a General Joseph Hooker during the American Civil War…they followed the soldiers around.

  24. 24.

    zhena gogolia

    I hate this moment when the hors d’oeuvres are all out and you’re just waiting for the guests. (half an hour before they’re due)

  28. 28.

    Ruckus

    @gene108:

    It’s a tad better if you aren’t flying on one of the busiest times of the year, when everyone wants to be where they are going – yesterday.

    I used to fly 8-9 months of the year, all around the country. OK I’ll tell the story. I worked in professional sports and often would have to take the back gate (what the participants and their crews paid to get into the facility and participate) back to the office. Once, flying out of SanFran, (before TSA) checked in, got my carry on looked at and went to the gate and boarded the plane. About 10 minutes later the announcement was made that one of the bag checkers thought that they had seen a knife in a bag. So everyone had to take their carry on back outside the bag check and go through scanners and bag check again. This had been on of our most popular events so I had about $35,000 cash in my carry on. Xray goes fine. Hand check the woman looking in my bag YELLS OUT – “FULL OF CASH!” I told her to shut up, the supervisor ran over and told her to shut up, but of course she yelled it out again. Every single person in that wing of the SF airport knew my bag was full of cash. I had to sit for a 5 hr flight with my bag between my legs and I could not catch a nap.

  36. 36.

    eversor

    @WaterGirl:

    Hookers and blow are always great fun until you start to have blood pressure problems.

    I’m all for legalizing prostitution and sex work in general as it’s not going anywhere and sex workers should have protection and not be afraid of the law.

    I’m not 100% on legalizing cocaine as legal weed, mushrooms, and DMT has resulted in the (utterly predictable) entire blocks stinking of weed smoke and pot shops everywhere.  While I’m a fan of this and enjoy it (why yes, there is a weed shop next to Georgetown Cupcake, what genius idea, don’t mind if I have some of both!) I’ve heard from friends with kids that like vaping it’s out of control now.  Not that banning it will stop kids from getting it either.  It’s a fucking plant and a fungus!  I don’t think bags of blow selected for strength rating is the way to go as I know where that will end.

    That said blow is still all over the place and you can find it most bars, restaurants, clubs, law firms, hedge funds, consulting firms, and non profits without much effort.  I hear it’s popular in congress as well!  So we are mostly pretending that the nation isn’t up to it’s eyeballs in cocaine and nobody really cares.  Because it’s a silly thing to care about.

  38. 38.

    wjca

    @Villago Delenda Est: The origin of “Hooker” for a sex worker is said to be after a General Joseph Hooker during the American Civil War…they followed the soldiers around.

    So, we’re looking at a book, set during the Civil War, about how Christmas was saved by General Hooker (and/or his associate prostitutes) and the Army bag pipes?  Sounds entirely reasonable.

    EDT And, except for the detail of Hooker being a Union general rather than a Confederate, right in the MAGA-world wheelhouse.

  43. 43.

    chrome agnomen

    I think George Santos has indicated he wrote this one as a follow-up to Lord of the Rings.

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