We’re in a little airbnb owned by her friend in Nashville. I have no idea where in Nashville, and we are nowhere near downtown, but in some little gentrified neighborhoodwith affordable housing when they were built, but now are all worth 500k and millennial gray with stainless steel appliances.
The ride was fine, with Thurston being the only issue, because of course he was. He chewed through his harness so I had to buy him another one tonight, and he absolutely refused to take his pill this morning to the point where I just yelled at him, through the pill in cheese into it, and told him to fuck off. When he whined I reminded him that he had two options, he could take the heavy drugs and be happy, or fuck off and be a miserable twat the entire ride. Personally, I’m at the point in my life I would have chosen to be heavily drugged and happy without even knowing what the section option was.
“Would you like to be heavily drugged and sedated for the ride or…”
“YES PLEASE”
“or would you ok nevermind.”
About an hour and a half into the drive we heard silence, so jackass clearly ate the cheese.
Steve and Maxwell were perfect little angels. I put them in their crates, covered them with blankets, and just ignored them until we arrived in Nashville. Fed them, dealt with the litter, put down new pee pads and apologized for shipping them like this, and they seemed fine.
Joelle and I had a relaxing ride otherwise, although we did have a minor disagreement. I previously believed and somewhat still do believe but I will not say it out loud that five miles distance at highway speeds of 70+ is not enough time for one to cycle from “I could use the bathroom in a bit” to “IF YOU DO NOT PULL OVER NOW I AM GOING TO RUIN THE LEATHER.”
When I said that didn’t seem like enough of a warning I was told to “GET A UTERUS AND GET BACK TO ME.” I’m not going to do that so next time I will just pull over immediately when informed someone might need the facilities in a bit.
We ate at a little dumpling place, which was good, and she had a massive rum drink that was set on fire. I made do with water and my fiery demeanor.
Tomorrow’s drive is only six hours, and tomorrow is the fancy place with the hot tub and we can check in early, so I want to be on the road by 6:30 to 7 am so we can get there, and then just have a nice relaxing afternoon and night.
BTW- people of fucking Kentucky and Tennessee- how about you all elect some Democrats, pay some fucking taxes, and expand Route 65 you fucking monsters.
rikyrah
Glad to know that this part of the journey has been good, Cole🤗
rikyrah
I love this actress.
She has been doing an arc on TikTok as Mrs. Claus.
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZT8x9U16W/
A few weeks ago, she did an arc as a French bedbug who came to America and found love.😂
Betsy
Hey Cole, as a professional transportation planner, I just wanna let you know that widening highways / adding lanes only increases traffic congestion. Yep, it’s a proven fact.
Safe travels.
Alison Rose
Uteruses are a pain in the ass. So to speak.
I love that the cats are chill and the dog is…not.
Scout211
This is an oddly familiar scene.
Well done, Joelle.
NotMax
Rewind that.
Leather?
H.E.Wolf
@Scout211:
IYKYK. :)
Betsy
@Betsy: the only things that reduce vehicle traffic are
a) availability of reliable, reasonably convenient transit alternatives
b) decongestion pricing; that is, tolls.
A) is supplied in other countries but not often in the USA, and B) is often politically intolerable, even though it directly benefits the toll payer and takes the price of highway use off those who don’t use the highway, that is, it removes the cost of the thing from those who don’t use it (mainly the poor and those who can’t or don’t drive)
Joelle
@Betsy: please do explain this traffic engineering widening increases traffic algorithm . Why does it increase traffic? Do people see the opportunity for more travel options and they are inspired to take them?
Joelle
Apparently we were making good time and my uterus started slowing us down by causing excessive restroom breaks.
Joelle
@Joelle: I explained this is how they caught and gunned down Bonnie and Clyde. If you go on the lam… don’t take a chick. Cause she’s going to have to make bathroom breaks and this will put you at risk for getting caught.
columbusqueen
Another memorable holiday post. Thanks, John! Hang in there, Joelle.
Scout211
Restroom breaks must be regularly scheduled into any itinerary of traveling uteri. It’s just science.
MobiusKlein
@Joelle:
I’ve been informed by my wife that it’s more from the childbirth side. But also from my dad that it’s the getting old part.
My take is that it takes time to learn what folks actually mean when they say “in a bit”
Kelly
Mrs Kelly considers it a positive aspect of my aging that I need a place to pull over and pee before she does.
NotMax
@Joelle
It … depends.
:)
CaseyL
Very glad to here there have been no crises, human, feline or canine. Thurston’s doing quite well, for Thurston.
I’m with Joelle. One of the *cough* joys *cough* of getting older is that the I-gotta-pee signals give you less and less useful advance warning. It can go from a slight feeling of pressure to OPEN THE FLOOD GATES in less time than it took to type that. At least for women; I don’t know how it is for men. All I can suggest is, try not to drink anything for at least one hour before departure…? And cut down on foods that cause inflammation, because that makes for an unhappy bladder.
ETA: Didn’t realize the problem was uterus-related rather than bladder-related. Never mind!
HinTN
Iol, Cole. Don’t bitch at our neighbor to the north about I-65. It’s a fucking autobahn compared to the piece of shit we provide on our end of the business. You just remember it being bad because that’s the last impression of the trip. Have fun in your hot tub tomorrow, you old grump.
dr. bloor
Sometimes the best course of action is to die with beliefs that are irrefutably true and never spoken.
Jake Gibson
Alison Rose
@CaseyL: I find that time of day impacts it, too. Or at least, it seems to, since when I wake up at 2 am and realize it’s because I have to go to the bathroom but it doesn’t seem that bad and I try to go back to sleep because my bed is warm and the room is not, within about four seconds it feels like I’m gonna burst like an overfilled water balloon.
HinTN
@Joelle:
Not presuming to speak for @Betsy: but Clark’s Corollary clearly states that, “Traffic expands to fill the road available.”
dr. bloor
@Betsy:
I think I’ve found the source of your problem, ma’am.
geg6
@Joelle:
I’m curious as well. Seems quite counterintuitive.
Allegheny County (Pittsburgh and surrounding communities) has a great alternative route system if you know how to use it. It’s a very old, old school system called a belt system, using routes from before the huge interstates and highways were built. There’s a yellow belt, a red belt, a blue belt and a green belt. I use the red belt to get from my house to the high end mall, Ross Park Mall, in the northern suburbs of the city in order to avoid the insane traffic you run into if you use the most direct 4 and 6 lane routes. I think only us olds remember how to use it because I get asked all the time by my students what the signs for the colored belts mean.
Joelle
@Kelly: we’ll it’s about damn time
jimmiraybob
@rikyrah: She’s great on Ghosts – the American version.
Joelle
@geg6: I lived in Pittsburgh 12 years. Colored belt system all the way.
frosty
@geg6: I remember the belts from visiting my grandparents in the 60s. I was pleasantly surprised to see them still there when my son moved to Pittsburgh several years ago.
satby
@Joelle: I like the cut of your jib.
Also, they never stop because they can just pee into a bottle or whatever empty container is around. Which is gross.
Joelle
@CaseyL: it is bladder. But I was playing the old uterus card.
Josie
@Joelle: Thus educating John about a little known fact of history. Most women would understand this reasoning immediately. Most men would look puzzled at the information. John can only benefit from your knowledge on the subject.
Joelle
@satby: yes! So unfair! Uteruses unite! We shall no more stand at a long line in a roadside gas station while these bottle peeing cromagnons tell the how many rest stops is too many!
N M
@HinTN: I would just add that if our esteemed blogmaster took this trip 10+ years ago, it would be even worse, b/c IIRC they *have* widened (and straightened!) I-65, at least in areas between the border with TN (Cave City! Don’t miss the dinosaur park if you have kids!) and Louisville.
geg6
@Joelle:
@frosty:
Yay, I love the belts! They are also the most scenic routes to get around the county.
Honus
”BTW- people of fucking Kentucky and Tennessee- how about you all elect some Democrats, pay some fucking taxes, and expand Route 65“
Doesn’t Kentucky have a Democratic governor?
In any event, having represented most of highway contractors in WV and Kentucky, I highly approve of this sentiment.
And Joelle, it’s great to hear from you on this and be assured all men don’t agree with Cole. I’ve always looked at a rest stop as an opportunity for exploration and enlightenment, even long ago at the Glass House on the West Virginia Turnpike. “Making good time” is highly overrated.
Suzanne
@frosty: Yes, the belts are still here and are indeed useful! PGH refers to them by color, but lots of cities use beltway-type organization for their highways.
twbrandt
@Joelle: The idea that widening roads causes worse congestion is known as induced demand: when you provide more of something or reduce its price, more people use it. It’s a real thing, observed in almost all freeway expansion projects. See the linked article for more about it.
Suzanne
@Joelle: Widening roads makes it attractive to develop property along the newly widened road, and at the end of the newly widened road. So then you just get more congestion on the newly widened road. And then it sucks again.
Odie Hugh Manatee
When traveling I start looking for a bathroom the moment my wife says “in a bit” because I know from experience gained over almost 40 years with her that “in a bit” really means “in a minute or two”.
You’ll learn…
eclare
Joelle
I am firmly on your side regarding the priority of bathrooms. In the last year I have experienced the same escalation: I kind of need to pee to OMG racing to the toilet so I don’t wet myself in minutes.
Bravo to your response.
eclare
@CaseyL:
See my comment. I have had the same experience.
Suzanne
It’s so funny to watch Cole figure out this baseline stuff about marriage in RT.
CaseyL
@Joelle: John has had cats and dogs long enough that threatening to pee in the car wouldn’t scare him one-tenth as badly as threatening the upholstery with a menstrual leak.
Ruckus
@CaseyL:
I think it is at least somewhat different for all of us. I’m just a tad older than a lot of people here and yes I do have to pee on occasion. Sometimes of course at the worst time/situation. But I also get exercise regularly and that seems to help with many functions.
different-church-lady
Nom nom nomINATED!
different-church-lady
@Joelle: The fish gets as big as its tank.
Ruckus
@Honus:
I’ve crossed the US by vehicle several times, one of them 50 yrs ago this year. I’ve done it in cars, on motorcycles and a truck pulling a 50ft trailer. I’ve never had to go in sight of a rest stop, gas station, or city, always inbetween them.
Anoniminous
As a non-Uteruian but have been in a long term relationship with a Uteruian and having been on many a long distance trip with a Uteruian I can firmly state the communication “I could use the bathroom in a bit” really means “FIND ME A BATHROOM! NOW!”
JaneE
Joelle is right. Sometimes the distance between probably could to OMG is about 3-5 steps.
Scout211
Aww you guys, you get us, you really get us.
Suzanne
I will note that I am an experienced vagina-haver, and I have squatted and pissed on the side of multiple highways in my day. I don’t love it, but it’s happened.
ETA: I had to squat and pee in a public park a couple of weeks ago while running.
Gvg
@Suzanne: This overlooks the cost of NOT widening the roads, which may include frustrated people/taxpayers unable to get to jobs or houses or food, leaving the area and investments that never happen. What you need to do is guide the expansion where it is most useful…say widen the road but also extend it to where there is room to expand and buy up the land while it’s cheap to keep going with the road later, which also prevents development right where the next round needs to be, which is super expensive to buy later and can result in a metro area that can’t afford to take the land it really needs to build a road and traffic really congested. ( Orlando boomed so suddenly due to Disney, that they did everything on the cheap in the beginning, couldn’t afford to do anything else) I grew up watching and learning about it.
divF
@Suzanne:
I have an image of a froglike squat and leap.
raven
@frosty: I used to take the “Wheeling Limo” from the Pittsburg Airport to Oglebay Park in wheeling. I was an old Checker cab with a steel plate welded to the undercarriage to absorb the pounding from the potholes on the interstate.
NotMax
@Suzanne – @Gvg
“Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees.”
– Will Rogers
;)
Sandia Blanca
@rikyrah: She has a fun role in the new Eddie Murphy movie, “Candy Cane Lane.” I could not figure out why she seemed familiar until I realized she’s in a frequently aired AT&T commercial.
pat
@different-church-lady:
different-church-lady
December 26, 2023 at 9:19 pm
Nom nom nomINATED!
I LOLed!
Suzanne
@Gvg: Oh, I agree. But, as noted above, there is ample evidence that widening a road generally doesn’t reduce congestion on that road. That doesn’t mean it isn’t sometimes still the right thing to do for all the reasons you mentioned.
Growth is difficult. To do it well requires a lot of vision and strategy and investment. But the American population is growing, and everybody’s gotta be someplace.
Kirk
Just as a starting point on the “widening roads increases congestion”, see this (escholarship link) or this (wired article), both of which contain further links. Note it’s not really accurate. Basically, when you increase traffic capacity, traffic increases to fill that capacity. Net result is that there is no change in congestion after a fairly short (less than four year) period of time.
Won’t link more as I don’t want the spam triggers to go off, but there are several to find with surprisingly little digging.
Suzanne
@divF:
I am…. not that graceful.
Bad Back
I think you mean to say… Everyone has to pee someplace
Honus
@raven: what interstate did you take from Pittsburgh to Oglebay?
Jackie
@Joelle: Thurston undoubtedly thanks you!
Betsy
@Joelle: That’s a big piece of it.
Also, in response to the added road capacity, people take longer and more trips in the region — so not only do the new lanes of the particular widened highway fill right back up, overall travel in the area becomes more and longer (increased demand for road space).
More and longer trips mean more traffic congestion in the region generally. This new / added traffic is called “induced demand” because it’s actually induced by the availability of more lanes, more roads.
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Scout211: “Aww you guys, you get us, you really get us.”
After a few years of translation errors, yes! ;)
Betsy
@Betsy: Then too, with people taking more and longer trips, there are more cars to accommodate at every destination, and so parking lots have to be bigger and bigger, until only 10% or so of every development site is actually the building that people use, and over 90% of the land around it is covered in asphalt lots for storing empty stationary cars.
Then it becomes impossible to walk or serve those types of places with transit, and you pretty much have to have a car, because everything is so far flung being that the parking takes up all the acreage in between the individual Kohl’s and Starbucks and and so on.
once it gets to that point, not having a car is not an option, and so people who either can’t drive due to extreme youth, old age, blindness, physical disabilities that prevent them from driving, poverty, DUI, etc. or just not being able to finance a car, are all SOL.
In addition to all that, car ownership is a tremendous expense on a personal or household budget and so you end up not being able to afford lots of other things — because I believe the last time I checked the median or maybe average actual cost of car ownership in the US was over over 15,000 dollars a year.
That’s one hell of a lot of money to be thrown away on a mandatory requirement for basic living when other transportation options aren’t available.
basically, once you build a community for cars, nothing else can happen transportation-wise.
and oh yes, I will also point out that “solving congestion” usually means throwing millions of $$ to add lanes to address a peak-hour traffic problem that only exists maybe 2-3-4 hours in the 24-hour period that the road is open. In other words, we spend a disproportionately huge part of our public investment dollars as a society on congestion that occurs only (or mainly ) at the morning peak, and the evening peak, which is an incredible misallocation of money. The cash would actually be much better solved working on “transportation demand management,” TDM, to spread out the travel demand away from those peak times to times when the road ALREADY HAS plenty of available capacity — TDM would be things such as staggering shift times for employers opening and closing, paying people to carpool, charging a modest peak-hour decongestion charge, having dedicated rapid-bus lanes, etc.
NotMax
@Betsy
Did someone say Traffic?
;)
mvr
@dr. bloor: It seems like posting them on a blog counts as speaking them, but what do I know.
mvr
@Odie Hugh Manatee: Generally it makes sense to have a discussion after the conversation opener – where are the upcoming rest areas/exits likely with services and which one seems like the on to aim for.
HinTN
@Suzanne: Joni got that right
https://youtu.be/PDnMxgxx2jg?si=ybAgBNqRlGnxuj-E
HinTN
@Suzanne:
https://youtu.be/c_KD0yZp8p4?si=XhxKVUfjvEYcGbBp
Yeah, it’s long but it’s worth it.
Ramona
@Alison Rose: For me, this nighttime phenomenon manifests not as my waking up from bladder pressure but dream after dream where I pee in more and more bizarre settings until a dream scenario is so bizarre and I realize I am dreaming and wake up to discover my demanding bladder. I am always amazed that I have never actually peed in my sleep through the consecutive dreams of peeing. It must be the single area in my life where I have an iron will.
Alison Rose
@Ramona: That’s happened to me occasionally, too. One recent dream, I was in an airplane bathroom, and I haven’t been on a plane since 2009. Brains do weird shit while we sleep.
mrmoshpotato
Cannonball into the hot tub, Cole!
Alison Rose
@mrmoshpotato: Joelle better get that on video.
CliosFanboy
Poor Thurston. :(
mrmoshpotato
@Alison Rose: Totally!
Origuy
Is this fancy place you’re staying in going to be ok with the menagerie? Or are you going to sneak the critters in?
mrmoshpotato
@Origuy:
How well do two cats and a dog stack?
fish bicycle
This song seems appropriate, having read through the discussion. Though I’m not really sure where the loci of musical appreciation are with this crowd, for all I know youre mostly classic rock geezers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DcA0p8Tvnk
Chris T.
@CaseyL:
Might be both.
You can tell that the “designer” of the human body (if you assume there was one) was one sadistic bastard when you look at a 3D see-through view of female anatomy and see that babies basically are bouncing on / standing on / punching right at the bladder. Whee, look, I can make mommy pee any time I like!
Chris T.
@Alison Rose:
Actually there’s a physiological reason for that: during sleep, a hormone (“vasopressin” or “antidiuretic hormone”, ADH) suppresses urine production. Upon waking, the level drops, and whoosh.
Some people don’t make enough ADH, or their kidneys don’t respond to it. I have a friend who has that condition.
raven
@Honus: 79 to 70 I think. It was in the early 80’s. There were five North Carolina State University “extension schools” for folks in various areas of public recreation and I attended the “School of Sports Management ” for two years and then was lucky enough to be appointed to the “Board of Regents” and taught there for three years.
BobbyK
@CaseyL: I am a 62 year old male and I can tell you EXACTLY the same thing happens to me on a regular basis!
RobertS
Perhaps a little late, -but-, be sure to hit Monels when you are in Nashville. Family dining and amazing traditional southern food. The ham is to die for. The place is a local treasure.
Joelle
@Odie Hugh Manatee: you sir are a genius.
Joelle
@JaneE: these profound words
Paul in KY
@HinTN: That’s true, I guess, at the way they expand in ‘real life’, but I bet if the lanes could be increased from 4 to 16, the congestion would decrease (IMO).
Joelle
All I know is we have been in Little Rock for less than 5 hours and Cole had taken no less than 2 jacuzzis and one steam shower.