Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

You know it’s bad when the Project 2025 people have to create training videos on “How To Be Normal”.

I have other things to bitch about but those will have to wait.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

I also would like a pony to improve my balloon juice experience.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

Nikki Haley, who can’t acknowledge ‘slavery’, is a pathetic shill.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

Boeing: repeatedly making the case for high speed rail.

FFS people, this was a good thing. take the win.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Subway’s Expanded Menu

Subway’s Expanded Menu

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So my sister was driving home from Detroit or Chicago from a business trip and stopped at a gas station near Zanesville, OH with a built in subway, and bought this for $75.00.

Subway's Expanded Menu 1

Subway's Expanded Menu

Subway's Expanded Menu 2

Apparently some sketchy lady (I should clarify, a sketchy lady other than my sister) was waiting for someone to meet her to buy it for $100.00 and was tired of waiting for the guy and offered him to my sister, and my sister sized up the situation in a second and realized that 100 bucks to save this dog from what will almost certainly be a hellish existence was cosmically an extraordinary bargain (100 bucks to save something from a lifetime of suffering? A no-brainer), offered her 75 and took him.

He has no name, but it s cute as shit and probably a pit bull, but he is safe and now looking for a home.

Reader Interactions

117Comments

  6. 6.

    Chacal Charles Calthrop

    You, your sister, and Joelle are good people.

    We are as lucky as that dog to have you and this blog.

  8. 8.

    HumboldtBlue

    Meatball.

    Meatball subs are delicious (just not at Subway), so his name should be Meatball.

  9. 9.

    Lyrebird

    @Mr. Bemused Senior: Yep!

    And I sure wish more of the world would know about this expensive Subway stop than about the iirc exaggerated expensive airport meal.  One was to prevent suffering, the other was to bring on more.

  10. 10.

    Jess

    He does look a bit woebegone (very cute though), like he hasn’t been cared for much. He’s a good age to be successfully saved; hope his genetics are good as well. Dogs bred for fighting, or even just bred by irresponsible breeders, can have sketchy temperaments. I hate what we’ve done to these potentially wonderful beings.

  15. 15.

    Miss Bianca

    That’s a hopeful little face!

    My Watson (pitbull/Lab mix, looks like) had a very rough start in life (there’s an ancient BJ post about him from when we first took him in), probably bred by a sketchy backyard breeder and almost certainly dumped.

    He’s a fabulous dog with some major issues left over from his earliest days, but damn is he good about certain basics like “coming when he’s called!” that little Susi could stand to take notice of.

    Sounds like this little guy’s life has just become 1000% better!

  16. 16.

    West of the Rockies

    I hate that a certain percentage of humans see this breed of dog and immediately ponder canine violence (for entertainment) and profit.

    Sad how 5-30% of humans create 90% of the world’s problems and miseries.

    This message brought to you by Curmudgeon dot com.

  25. 25.

    Miss Bianca

    If there’s a BJ cat out there named Salad, why couldn’t there be a BJ (related) pup out there named Sandwich? (Sandy for short) :)

  29. 29.

    WaterGirl

    I wouldn’t have had the $75 in cash to give the lady.  Did your sister have cash?  Maybe I should always carry a hundred bucks with me.  4 $25 bills should do it. :-)

  32. 32.

    Spanky

    @WaterGirl: I keep 5 twenties in the center console for emergencies, and it comes in handy for things like buying speakers out of the back of a van yard sales you happen upon. And puppies at a Subway, I guess.

  39. 39.

    Eric S.

    @Spanky: I don’t really remember it but my father bought some speakers out of the back of a van when I was single-digits old. My mother was very upset when Dad had them follow him home so he could hook them up and check the quality.

  42. 42.

    marklar

    Don’t let the New York Times find out. I fear we’ll be inundated with stories on how Biden’s economy has resulted in a trip to the Subway in Zanesville, OH cost one customer $75.

  44. 44.

    Frank Wilhoit

    Back in the era of wildcat banks — and more to the point, of company-town scrip, which might come back at any time — currency was printed in almost any imaginable denomination, including $3.  There were also genuine U. S. Mint three-cent coins, in fact two separate attempts were made to place them in circulation — supposedly some commonplace item cost three cents in the mid-19th Century, but I cannot remember what it was.

  47. 47.

    SiubhanDuinne

    Your sister is such a good person, John! And we know you are (and ass u me the same of your other siblings). Ma and Pa Cole done good.

    Such a cute pup, and a very lucky one. Another vote for Earnest as the name.

  48. 48.

    satby

    @Jess: Those dogs have to be brutalized to train them to fight, breeding doesn’t have that much to do with it. Even with shitty backyard breeders.

    They’re normally strong, muscular dogs with a healthy prey drive, so squirrels, rabbits, and often cats can be at risk, but they’re devoted to their people and try hard to please them. I’m assuming this was John’s sister Devin, and she’s a rescue pro.

  49. 49.

    CaseyL

    Poor little guy (gal?) looks a lot happier in the second two photos than in the first.
    Humans have made an art out of cruelty for a very long time. Dog-fighting, bear-baiting, bullfighting, cock fighting… Bill Bryson, in his book about Shakespeare, talks about the people of 16th-17th Century England, who could be reduced to tears watching a Shakespeare tragedy and then go out and laugh until they peed watching animals be tormented to death.​​

  52. 52.

    Yutsano

    I used to work for Subway. It’s a terrible place to work so I wouldn’t take a name that has anything to do with them.

    So I propose Arthur.

    EDIT: Oh yeah I forgot:

    EARZ!!!

  53. 53.

    docNC

    In the blink of an eye things can go from bleak to looking way up.  What a cool-looking puppy.

  55. 55.

    Anotherlurker

    OMG! What cutie!  My little Lucy would have a ball with him.

    Sadly, I can’t take on another pup. I hope he finds an amazing forever home.

    BTW, I vote for the name “Hoagie”

  56. 56.

    Alison Rose

    Part of me wants to laugh forever, and part of me wants to fucking scream.

    Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida is expected to suspend his campaign for president imminently, two people familiar with the matter said Sunday.

    His decision, expected to be made public before the New Hampshire primary election on Tuesday, marks a spectacular implosion for a candidate once seen as having the best chance to dethrone Donald J. Trump as the Republican Party’s nominee in 2024. Last Monday, Mr. DeSantis suffered a devastating 30-percentage-point loss to Mr. Trump in the Iowa caucuses, leaving him without an obvious pathway to the nomination.

  68. 68.

    Another Scott

    @Alison Rose: GQPers with huge war chests often implode early when running for the big chair.  I remember Phil Gramm in particular in the ’96 race.  One of these days these brainics will learn that money isn’t a substitute for competence, and not giving opponent easy points if one is a hipocrite (he was an early investor in porn).

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  76. 76.

    evodevo

    @Eric S.: ​
      No kidding! In my part of KY, they would have been cleaned out the next week, or whenever they went to Wallyworld for a couple hours. Happened to some naive friends of ours…

  89. 89.

    C Stars

    @Miss Bianca: I was influenced by an article I read yesterday about how DeSantis was trying to figure out how to bow out this year while improving his prospects for 28. But yeah, I guess there can’t be two Florida Mans on the ticket

    ….or can there?

  98. 98.

    NutmegAgain

    @satby: … and then there are the bait dogs. The name tells you. Fighting dogs get trained with dogs who are so abused it’s hard to describe. Each time I learn a story about these pups I can’t sleep. When I see idiots giving away dogs on the internet, I tell them about the likely future. But most folks just don’t care.

    Anyway that little fellow is adorable.

  101. 101.

    VeniceRiley

    @Frank Wilhoit: My grandfather worked For company scrip. It’s not that long ago if you’re a couple late baby generations.

     

    I’m confident Biden will win. But the drama how close we are always in the house due to gerrymandered districts is infuriating. How to fight these insane forces?

  102. 102.

    Bupalos

    @Jess: I just cringe every time I hear about another pitbull. I really don’t get it. It’s like owning a gun. Older neightbor walking her lab  got her acl blown out and her dog mauled to where it had to be put down. Two years before that another pitbull two blocks away attacked a kid.

    Both pit owners were like “something must have happened, my dog never…”

  103. 103.

    cvannatta

    Cute overload! My cats would Not Be Amused. I won’t show his picture to my house cleaner friend because she would be borrowing my phone to make plane reservations to go adopt the wee beastie. She’s a pushover for pitties.

  104. 104.

    C Stars

    @Bupalos: I am scared of pitbulls having seen one attack first another dog, then the other dog’s owner, then its own owner, at a park about ten years ago. It was pretty bloody, an ambulance had to be called and I am not sure of the fate of the other dog. But I also am glad that there are folks willing to take them in and take care of them because they have a very rough lot in life. I’m just not going to go anywhere near pitbulls, or let my kids get near them.

  105. 105.

    Bupalos

    @C Stars: i think it’s great if a knowledgeable caring person helps make it much less likely this dog ever adds to the statistics. Personally I can’t even see the “cute” after the incident, and I don’t like the idea that people need to be wary. I don’t think much of either of the owners involved in the incidents in our town generally, but they aren’t psychos and these dogs weren’t abused or taught aggressiveness. If I could wave a wand and sterilize every pitbull and mastiff I would

    The one that involved the kid probably happened because wasn’t wary because she knew the english bull on our street who is a total sweetie-pie. But could probably also do serious damage if anything went haywire, I’ve played pull with that dog and OMFG.

  106. 106.

    sab

    @Bupalos: My pitbull (probably an American Staffie) lives peacefully at home with five cats who love and trust her. Before we got her she lived with three chihuahuas who mauled her ears for fun. We got her when my stepdaughter had to dump her because landlords won’t rent to pitbulls even if they have an eight year track record of living peacefully.

  108. 108.

    Seanly

    @Alison Rose:

    My girl Cricket has tippy ears and they are just about the cutest damn ears ever. She also drags her foreleg across her head like a cat does which is even cuter…

    Anyway, that puppy looks almost too young to be weaned. Good on John’s sister.

  109. 109.

    Smiling Happy Guy (aka boatboy_srq)

    @dmsilev: would that make him S’inch? (Six-inch, abbreviated.) I still like Meatball better.

    He’s got a ready home here if nobody else has spoken up.

  112. 112.

    Sis

    Just my two cents as someone with cream puff Pibbles in my extended family: The only dog attacks I’ve experienced or witnessed have been from a Labrador Retriever and years later, a Golden Retriever. Both attacks were unrelenting and terrifying.

  117. 117.

    Tonyds

    My wife and i are interested in this adorable little pup. Does he get along with other dogs? We ave 2 beagles ND a potcake (westindian breed). We also live near nyc. But if transport can be resolved we aeintereted.

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