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You are here: Home / John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House" / Subway’s Expanded Menu

Subway’s Expanded Menu

by John Cole|  January 21, 20241:43 pm| 117 Comments

This post is in: John Cole Presents "This Fucking Old House", Pet Rescue

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So my sister was driving home from Detroit or Chicago from a business trip and stopped at a gas station near Zanesville, OH with a built in subway, and bought this for $75.00.

Subway's Expanded Menu 1

Subway's Expanded Menu

Subway's Expanded Menu 2

Apparently some sketchy lady (I should clarify, a sketchy lady other than my sister) was waiting for someone to meet her to buy it for $100.00 and was tired of waiting for the guy and offered him to my sister, and my sister sized up the situation in a second and realized that 100 bucks to save this dog from what will almost certainly be a hellish existence was cosmically an extraordinary bargain (100 bucks to save something from a lifetime of suffering? A no-brainer), offered her 75 and took him.

He has no name, but it s cute as shit and probably a pit bull, but he is safe and now looking for a home.

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Reader Interactions

117Comments

  1. 1.

    Kristine

    January 21, 2024 at 1:45 pm

    Your sister’s the best.

    Poor little pup. May he wind up in the bestest home ever.

  2. 2.

    Van Buren

    January 21, 2024 at 1:46 pm

    Better than anything I’ve ever bought at a Subway.

  3. 3.

    eclare

    January 21, 2024 at 1:46 pm

    Those ears!  What a cutie.

  4. 4.

    Baud

    January 21, 2024 at 1:46 pm

    Aw, that face.

  5. 5.

    Alison Rose

    January 21, 2024 at 1:49 pm

    The ears alone are worth $75.

  6. 6.

    Chacal Charles Calthrop

    January 21, 2024 at 1:52 pm

    You, your sister, and Joelle are good people.

    We are as lucky as that dog to have you and this blog.

  7. 7.

    Mr. Bemused Senior

    January 21, 2024 at 1:54 pm

    @Chacal Charles Calthrop: +1

  8. 8.

    HumboldtBlue

    January 21, 2024 at 1:54 pm

    Meatball.

    Meatball subs are delicious (just not at Subway), so his name should be Meatball.

  9. 9.

    Lyrebird

    January 21, 2024 at 1:59 pm

    @Mr. Bemused Senior: Yep!

    And I sure wish more of the world would know about this expensive Subway stop than about the iirc exaggerated expensive airport meal.  One was to prevent suffering, the other was to bring on more.

  10. 10.

    Jess

    January 21, 2024 at 2:00 pm

    He does look a bit woebegone (very cute though), like he hasn’t been cared for much. He’s a good age to be successfully saved; hope his genetics are good as well. Dogs bred for fighting, or even just bred by irresponsible breeders, can have sketchy temperaments. I hate what we’ve done to these potentially wonderful beings.

  11. 11.

    Eunicecycle

    January 21, 2024 at 2:02 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: good name! I always get Chicken bacon ranch, which is not a good name.

  12. 12.

    stinger

    January 21, 2024 at 2:04 pm

    Is it grammatically correct to say your sister is a mensch?

  13. 13.

    VeniceRiley

    January 21, 2024 at 2:04 pm

    *Outraged receipt waving by Dr. Oz

    Meatball at Subway, no crudités even, $75!

  14. 14.

    MagdaInBlack

    January 21, 2024 at 2:07 pm

    Dear lord, that little face just breaks my heart. SO glad your sister rescued him.

  15. 15.

    Miss Bianca

    January 21, 2024 at 2:07 pm

    That’s a hopeful little face!

    My Watson (pitbull/Lab mix, looks like) had a very rough start in life (there’s an ancient BJ post about him from when we first took him in), probably bred by a sketchy backyard breeder and almost certainly dumped.

    He’s a fabulous dog with some major issues left over from his earliest days, but damn is he good about certain basics like “coming when he’s called!” that little Susi could stand to take notice of.

    Sounds like this little guy’s life has just become 1000% better!

  16. 16.

    West of the Rockies

    January 21, 2024 at 2:08 pm

    I hate that a certain percentage of humans see this breed of dog and immediately ponder canine violence (for entertainment) and profit.

    Sad how 5-30% of humans create 90% of the world’s problems and miseries.

    This message brought to you by Curmudgeon dot com.

  17. 17.

    brendancalling

    January 21, 2024 at 2:08 pm

    Awwww! It’s name should be Pudding.

  18. 18.

    dmsilev

    January 21, 2024 at 2:09 pm

    I see she didn’t spring for the footlong version.

  19. 19.

    becca

    January 21, 2024 at 2:10 pm

    He looks very earnest. Earnest would be a good name.

  20. 20.

    West of the Rockies

    January 21, 2024 at 2:11 pm

    @HumboldtBlue:

    But not Meatball Ron.

  21. 21.

    Geo Wilcox

    January 21, 2024 at 2:13 pm

    @West of the Rockies: Too bad we could not design a plague to get rid of them all.

  22. 22.

    Dangerman

    January 21, 2024 at 2:13 pm

    I’m partial to Mr. Chips personally.

    ETA: Pretzel logic?

  23. 23.

    Citizen_X

    January 21, 2024 at 2:13 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: Good choice!

    Though we’d also accept Hoagie.

  24. 24.

    Parfigliano

    January 21, 2024 at 2:13 pm

    Meatball=Ron.  So Ron.

  25. 25.

    Miss Bianca

    January 21, 2024 at 2:16 pm

    If there’s a BJ cat out there named Salad, why couldn’t there be a BJ (related) pup out there named Sandwich? (Sandy for short) :)

  26. 26.

    raven

    January 21, 2024 at 2:17 pm

    Artemis approves.

  27. 27.

    WaterGirl

    January 21, 2024 at 2:18 pm

    @becca: One more vote for Earnest!

  28. 28.

    mrmoshpotato

    January 21, 2024 at 2:19 pm

    Awwwww!!!!  Hope the pup finds a good home.

  29. 29.

    WaterGirl

    January 21, 2024 at 2:20 pm

    I wouldn’t have had the $75 in cash to give the lady.  Did your sister have cash?  Maybe I should always carry a hundred bucks with me.  4 $25 bills should do it. :-)

  30. 30.

    Brachiator

    January 21, 2024 at 2:20 pm

    Your sister is good people.

  31. 31.

    Spanky

    January 21, 2024 at 2:21 pm

    That’s definitely a Meatball.

     

    @Van Buren: Ditto.

  32. 32.

    Spanky

    January 21, 2024 at 2:24 pm

    @WaterGirl: I keep 5 twenties in the center console for emergencies, and it comes in handy for things like buying speakers out of the back of a van yard sales you happen upon. And puppies at a Subway, I guess.

  33. 33.

    WaterGirl

    January 21, 2024 at 2:25 pm

    @raven: I’ll bet she does!  Cole’s sister – who deserves an actual name, dammit – maybe have saved this pup from the horrors Artie experienced!

  34. 34.

    Timill

    January 21, 2024 at 2:25 pm

    @WaterGirl: Are those the ones with William Jennings Bryan on them, or is that the $8?

  35. 35.

    lowtechcyclist

    January 21, 2024 at 2:25 pm

    @WaterGirl:

    If you need change, I’ve got three $7’s and a $4.

    Cole, you’re sister’s good people.

  36. 36.

    mrmoshpotato

    January 21, 2024 at 2:26 pm

    @HumboldtBlue: Stop making me want so slap my stomach with Potbelly’s for lunch.

  37. 37.

    Spanky

    January 21, 2024 at 2:26 pm

    @WaterGirl: I guess Cole expects everyone to know it was Devon. I guess he doesn’t think this blog ever gets new eyes on it.

  38. 38.

    Citizen_X

    January 21, 2024 at 2:27 pm

    @Timill: Not the $3 bill, that’s Eleanor Roosevelt.

  39. 39.

    Eric S.

    January 21, 2024 at 2:27 pm

    @Spanky: I don’t really remember it but my father bought some speakers out of the back of a van when I was single-digits old. My mother was very upset when Dad had them follow him home so he could hook them up and check the quality.

  40. 40.

    Rusty

    January 21, 2024 at 2:36 pm

    He looks like a Cheddar or a Pesto.  I hope he finds a loving home.

  41. 41.

    Jay C

    January 21, 2024 at 2:39 pm

    @Timill:

    No, Bryan’s on the $9 bill, Chester Arthur is on the 25….

  42. 42.

    marklar

    January 21, 2024 at 2:41 pm

    Don’t let the New York Times find out. I fear we’ll be inundated with stories on how Biden’s economy has resulted in a trip to the Subway in Zanesville, OH cost one customer $75.

  43. 43.

    Spanky

    January 21, 2024 at 2:42 pm

     

    Reading fail.

  44. 44.

    Frank Wilhoit

    January 21, 2024 at 2:45 pm

    Back in the era of wildcat banks — and more to the point, of company-town scrip, which might come back at any time — currency was printed in almost any imaginable denomination, including $3.  There were also genuine U. S. Mint three-cent coins, in fact two separate attempts were made to place them in circulation — supposedly some commonplace item cost three cents in the mid-19th Century, but I cannot remember what it was.

  45. 45.

    HumboldtBlue

    January 21, 2024 at 2:47 pm

    @Citizen_X:

    I like Hoagie, good call.

    @Miss Bianca:

    Woot! Woot! Salad in the house. Well, not my house, but still.

  46. 46.

    MazeDancer

    January 21, 2024 at 2:47 pm

    1. What a beautiful pup! That heavens for your sister.
  47. 47.

    SiubhanDuinne

    January 21, 2024 at 2:52 pm

    Your sister is such a good person, John! And we know you are (and ass u me the same of your other siblings). Ma and Pa Cole done good.

    Such a cute pup, and a very lucky one. Another vote for Earnest as the name.

  48. 48.

    satby

    January 21, 2024 at 2:55 pm

    @Jess: Those dogs have to be brutalized to train them to fight, breeding doesn’t have that much to do with it. Even with shitty backyard breeders.

    They’re normally strong, muscular dogs with a healthy prey drive, so squirrels, rabbits, and often cats can be at risk, but they’re devoted to their people and try hard to please them. I’m assuming this was John’s sister Devin, and she’s a rescue pro.

  49. 49.

    CaseyL

    January 21, 2024 at 2:56 pm

    Poor little guy (gal?) looks a lot happier in the second two photos than in the first.
    Humans have made an art out of cruelty for a very long time. Dog-fighting, bear-baiting, bullfighting, cock fighting… Bill Bryson, in his book about Shakespeare, talks about the people of 16th-17th Century England, who could be reduced to tears watching a Shakespeare tragedy and then go out and laugh until they peed watching animals be tormented to death.​​

  50. 50.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 2:57 pm

    That pupper is adorable. Take him to AZ with you, Cole!

  51. 51.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:00 pm

    NYT reporting that DeSantis is about to drop out. Wooooot!

  52. 52.

    Yutsano

    January 21, 2024 at 3:00 pm

    I used to work for Subway. It’s a terrible place to work so I wouldn’t take a name that has anything to do with them.

    So I propose Arthur.

    EDIT: Oh yeah I forgot:

    EARZ!!!

  53. 53.

    docNC

    January 21, 2024 at 3:00 pm

    In the blink of an eye things can go from bleak to looking way up.  What a cool-looking puppy.

  54. 54.

    Msb

    January 21, 2024 at 3:01 pm

    God bless your sister, and whoever gives this lovely boy a good home.

  55. 55.

    Anotherlurker

    January 21, 2024 at 3:02 pm

    OMG! What cutie!  My little Lucy would have a ball with him.

    Sadly, I can’t take on another pup. I hope he finds an amazing forever home.

    BTW, I vote for the name “Hoagie”

  56. 56.

    Alison Rose

    January 21, 2024 at 3:04 pm

    Part of me wants to laugh forever, and part of me wants to fucking scream.

    Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida is expected to suspend his campaign for president imminently, two people familiar with the matter said Sunday.

    His decision, expected to be made public before the New Hampshire primary election on Tuesday, marks a spectacular implosion for a candidate once seen as having the best chance to dethrone Donald J. Trump as the Republican Party’s nominee in 2024. Last Monday, Mr. DeSantis suffered a devastating 30-percentage-point loss to Mr. Trump in the Iowa caucuses, leaving him without an obvious pathway to the nomination.

  57. 57.

    mrmoshpotato

    January 21, 2024 at 3:08 pm

    @Suzanne: Hahaha!  SAD!

  58. 58.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 21, 2024 at 3:08 pm

    DeSantis drops out and endorses Trump.

  59. 59.

    Ascap_scab

    January 21, 2024 at 3:11 pm

    DeSatan drops out, endorses Trump.

    Losing loser supports more losing.

  60. 60.

    WaterGirl

    January 21, 2024 at 3:11 pm

    @lowtechcyclist: @Timill:

    hahaha perfect!

  61. 61.

    Alison Rose

    January 21, 2024 at 3:12 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: This motherfucker quoting Churchill.

  62. 62.

    Miss Bianca

    January 21, 2024 at 3:13 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: whoa. da fuq? That was fast – my God, before NH even?

  63. 63.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:13 pm

    I am just going to enjoy the sweet, sweet tears of DeSantis today. Bwaaaaaahahahaha.

  64. 64.

    C Stars

    January 21, 2024 at 3:14 pm

    @Miss Bianca: He wants the VP

  65. 65.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 21, 2024 at 3:15 pm

    @Alison Rose: The WP refer to his campaign as “once promising,”

  66. 66.

    CaseyL

    January 21, 2024 at 3:15 pm

    Casey DeSantis must be fit to be tied.

  67. 67.

    Alison Rose

    January 21, 2024 at 3:15 pm

    Guess Haley was being a psychic when she called it a two-person race.

  68. 68.

    Another Scott

    January 21, 2024 at 3:15 pm

    @Alison Rose: GQPers with huge war chests often implode early when running for the big chair.  I remember Phil Gramm in particular in the ’96 race.  One of these days these brainics will learn that money isn’t a substitute for competence, and not giving opponent easy points if one is a hipocrite (he was an early investor in porn).

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  69. 69.

    TBone

    January 21, 2024 at 3:16 pm

    Never, ever mess with The Mouse.  Taint licker is such a coward.  Buh bye Felicia!

  70. 70.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 21, 2024 at 3:16 pm

    @C Stars: Trump is a FL resident now.  VP can’t be from the same state.

  71. 71.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:16 pm

    @CaseyL: Ooooooohhhhhh I hope so!

  72. 72.

    mrmoshpotato

    January 21, 2024 at 3:16 pm

    @Suzanne: Fuck ’em and fuck ’em!

  73. 73.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:17 pm

    Rod Dreher must be weeping into his artisanal cured meats.

  74. 74.

    Geminid

    January 21, 2024 at 3:17 pm

    @Alison Rose: The guy peaked a year ago, and he went steadily down hill ever since. What a terrible candidate. What a lousy campaign.

  75. 75.

    hells littlest angel

    January 21, 2024 at 3:18 pm

    @WaterGirl: What is this “cash” thing of which you speak?

  76. 76.

    evodevo

    January 21, 2024 at 3:18 pm

    @Eric S.: ​
      No kidding! In my part of KY, they would have been cleaned out the next week, or whenever they went to Wallyworld for a couple hours. Happened to some naive friends of ours…

  77. 77.

    Ascap_scab

    January 21, 2024 at 3:18 pm

    @C Stars:  Ain’t gonna happen. IF- Trump is the R nominee, he’s picking Tucker Carlson to be VP.

  78. 78.

    Alison Rose

    January 21, 2024 at 3:19 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Secretary of State! Couldn’t you just picture the distinguished, august DeSantis in that…

    …I’m sorry, I can’t even make myself finish typing that.

  79. 79.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 21, 2024 at 3:20 pm

    @Alison Rose: GAAAHHH!  Fuck you very much!

  80. 80.

    Omnes Omnibus

    January 21, 2024 at 3:22 pm

    I wonder when we will hear about the trial separation?

  81. 81.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:22 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Maybe Casey can show up to divorce court in a pastel pink ball gown with opera gloves.

    ETA: Maybe with a fascinator.

  82. 82.

    Bex

    January 21, 2024 at 3:23 pm

    His name is Zane, but I also like Hoagie.

  83. 83.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:24 pm

    @Alison Rose: I could see TFG nominating DeSantis for Secretary of Education. And DeSantis would take it, since he can’t get elected to anything else.

  84. 84.

    C Stars

    January 21, 2024 at 3:26 pm

     

    @Suzanne:

    I am truly loving that image.

  85. 85.

    Miss Bianca

    January 21, 2024 at 3:28 pm

    @C Stars: Hmmm…interesting theory. Likely, even.

    @Omnes Omnibus: Then I saw your statement and went, “oh…right”.

  86. 86.

    KrackenJack

    January 21, 2024 at 3:30 pm

    I would have thought you’d get chips and a drink with that for $75…

  87. 87.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:32 pm

    @C Stars: I’m such an asshole.

  88. 88.

    C Stars

    January 21, 2024 at 3:40 pm

    @Suzanne: No, Rod Dreher is such an asshole. I bet his ex-wife would agree.

  89. 89.

    C Stars

    January 21, 2024 at 3:42 pm

    @Miss Bianca: I was influenced by an article I read yesterday about how DeSantis was trying to figure out how to bow out this year while improving his prospects for 28. But yeah, I guess there can’t be two Florida Mans on the ticket

    ….or can there?

  90. 90.

    Mai Naem mobile

    January 21, 2024 at 3:43 pm

    @Citizen_X: Sammich shortened to Sammy.

  91. 91.

    Mai Naem mobile

    January 21, 2024 at 3:46 pm

    @CaseyL: Casey looks like she would be into that kind of kink.

  92. 92.

    WaterGirl

    January 21, 2024 at 3:48 pm

    @CaseyL: Bonus!

  93. 93.

    WaterGirl

    January 21, 2024 at 3:49 pm

    @hells littlest angel: I hear people used to use it all the time! :-)

  94. 94.

    Suzanne

    January 21, 2024 at 3:50 pm

    @C Stars: I hate Rod Dreher, and I weirdly feel sorry for him. He’s such a seething mess of personality disorders.

  95. 95.

    J.

    January 21, 2024 at 3:54 pm

    Cole, please post pup updates. Do you think your sister (Devon?) will keep him?

  96. 96.

    Xavier

    January 21, 2024 at 4:08 pm

    @C Stars: As someone commented on another thread: “Check out the nerd who believes in “rules””.

  97. 97.

    billcinsd

    January 21, 2024 at 4:08 pm

    @Citizen_X: The Colonial $3 currency had Ben Franklin’s signature

     

    https://www.pristineauction.com/a1940655-1776-3-Three-Dollars-Continental-Colonial-Currency-Note

  98. 98.

    NutmegAgain

    January 21, 2024 at 4:16 pm

    @satby: … and then there are the bait dogs. The name tells you. Fighting dogs get trained with dogs who are so abused it’s hard to describe. Each time I learn a story about these pups I can’t sleep. When I see idiots giving away dogs on the internet, I tell them about the likely future. But most folks just don’t care.

    Anyway that little fellow is adorable.

  99. 99.

    billcinsd

    January 21, 2024 at 4:21 pm

    @Omnes Omnibus: Yes they can, but that EV electors from that state can’t vote for both the Pres and VP from their home state

  100. 100.

    The Lodger

    January 21, 2024 at 4:30 pm

    Is the pup 1 foot long

    ETA: #100! Hey Cain…

  101. 101.

    VeniceRiley

    January 21, 2024 at 4:43 pm

    @Frank Wilhoit: My grandfather worked For company scrip. It’s not that long ago if you’re a couple late baby generations.

     

    I’m confident Biden will win. But the drama how close we are always in the house due to gerrymandered districts is infuriating. How to fight these insane forces?

  102. 102.

    Bupalos

    January 21, 2024 at 4:53 pm

    @Jess: I just cringe every time I hear about another pitbull. I really don’t get it. It’s like owning a gun. Older neightbor walking her lab  got her acl blown out and her dog mauled to where it had to be put down. Two years before that another pitbull two blocks away attacked a kid.

    Both pit owners were like “something must have happened, my dog never…”

  103. 103.

    cvannatta

    January 21, 2024 at 5:20 pm

    Cute overload! My cats would Not Be Amused. I won’t show his picture to my house cleaner friend because she would be borrowing my phone to make plane reservations to go adopt the wee beastie. She’s a pushover for pitties.

  104. 104.

    C Stars

    January 21, 2024 at 5:30 pm

    @Bupalos: I am scared of pitbulls having seen one attack first another dog, then the other dog’s owner, then its own owner, at a park about ten years ago. It was pretty bloody, an ambulance had to be called and I am not sure of the fate of the other dog. But I also am glad that there are folks willing to take them in and take care of them because they have a very rough lot in life. I’m just not going to go anywhere near pitbulls, or let my kids get near them.

  105. 105.

    Bupalos

    January 21, 2024 at 5:47 pm

    @C Stars: i think it’s great if a knowledgeable caring person helps make it much less likely this dog ever adds to the statistics. Personally I can’t even see the “cute” after the incident, and I don’t like the idea that people need to be wary. I don’t think much of either of the owners involved in the incidents in our town generally, but they aren’t psychos and these dogs weren’t abused or taught aggressiveness. If I could wave a wand and sterilize every pitbull and mastiff I would

    The one that involved the kid probably happened because wasn’t wary because she knew the english bull on our street who is a total sweetie-pie. But could probably also do serious damage if anything went haywire, I’ve played pull with that dog and OMFG.

  106. 106.

    sab

    January 21, 2024 at 6:29 pm

    @Bupalos: My pitbull (probably an American Staffie) lives peacefully at home with five cats who love and trust her. Before we got her she lived with three chihuahuas who mauled her ears for fun. We got her when my stepdaughter had to dump her because landlords won’t rent to pitbulls even if they have an eight year track record of living peacefully.

  107. 107.

    rikyrah

    January 21, 2024 at 7:14 pm

    Absolutely adorable 🥰🥰

    Your sister is tops 🤗

  108. 108.

    Seanly

    January 21, 2024 at 8:04 pm

    @Alison Rose:

    My girl Cricket has tippy ears and they are just about the cutest damn ears ever. She also drags her foreleg across her head like a cat does which is even cuter…

    Anyway, that puppy looks almost too young to be weaned. Good on John’s sister.

  109. 109.

    Smiling Happy Guy (aka boatboy_srq)

    January 21, 2024 at 10:14 pm

    @dmsilev: would that make him S’inch? (Six-inch, abbreviated.) I still like Meatball better.

    He’s got a ready home here if nobody else has spoken up.

  110. 110.

    Sis

    January 22, 2024 at 9:52 am

    Thank God for your wonderful sister. What a great thing she did.

  111. 111.

    Sis

    January 22, 2024 at 10:11 am

    @C Stars What has Rod Dreher done now? I blocked him on Twitter a long time ago.

  112. 112.

    Sis

    January 22, 2024 at 1:43 pm

    Just my two cents as someone with cream puff Pibbles in my extended family: The only dog attacks I’ve experienced or witnessed have been from a Labrador Retriever and years later, a Golden Retriever. Both attacks were unrelenting and terrifying.

  113. 113.

    dearmaizie

    January 22, 2024 at 3:40 pm

    @Kristine:

    I think he already has.

  114. 114.

    dearmaizie

    January 22, 2024 at 3:42 pm

    Thank your sister.

    His name is Stewie and that’s final.

  115. 115.

    PaulWartenberg

    January 22, 2024 at 4:02 pm

    @HumboldtBlue:

    From now on, puppy, your Balloon Juice name will be “Meatball”.

  116. 116.

    Smiling Happy Guy (aka boatboy_srq)

    January 22, 2024 at 6:38 pm

    @CaseyL: I am sure Puddin’ Boots can find enough rope for that.

  117. 117.

    Tonyds

    January 22, 2024 at 9:05 pm

    My wife and i are interested in this adorable little pup. Does he get along with other dogs? We ave 2 beagles ND a potcake (westindian breed). We also live near nyc. But if transport can be resolved we aeintereted.

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