I’d like to start this post with an off-topic shoutout to the Kwikset company for requiring a certain size Allen wrench to take the knob off of a door, which I’m sure was immediately lost 15 years ago when the knob was installed. I shall be searching for this tool for probably a long fucking time all over this little town.
My second shoutout is to Marcie Jones at Wonkette, for doing all the legwork on the possible closing down of TikTok. The basics are: Trump signed an executive order saying that ByteDance (owner of TikTok) had to divest within 90 days or else. The “or else” never happened for complicated reasons, and Trump has now changed his tune since a big shareholder in ByteDance made a big investment in his social media turd. Unfortunately for Trump and probably also Democrats, the bipartisan bill that was signed into law in April will kill TikTok on January 19 unless ByteDance divests.
The background music to this fairy tale drama is Mark Zuckerberg working the refs because Facebook is now just for grandma to share pictures of her grandkids, and also to fall for every hack or scam known to man, Instagram is for skinfluencers to hock fashion trash, and Threads apparently exists only to remind us that BlueSky is way, way better. TikTok is eating his lunch so he did what every capitalist does: made big political contributions to get his way.
Anyway, anti-fans of the Progressive Caucus will be happy to know that they were part of the bipartisan consensus on the Tik Tok ban. Just kidding, they voted against it in the House, and Voldemort voted against it in the Senate.
That was the right vote, in my view, for two reasons. First, if you’re going to regulate social media, fucking regulate all of the things, not just the one that supposedly spews Chinese propaganda, because, I’m sad to report, all these platforms get abused by foreign governments. Second, don’t take a vote that makes you look like an out-of-touch old person, and shuttering a popular social media platform is the 2024 equivalent of the stupid satanic-panic driven music nonsense of the 80’s and 90’s.
What’s going to happen now is that there will be a lot of drama around TikTok possibly closing, and the Supremes will probably do what Trump wants, which is to delay the shuttering, and then the Art of the Deal to Grease His Palms will once again put money in Trump’s pocket as some shell company buys out ByteDance in a way where everyone gets rich. Trump will look like the savvy savior, I’m guessing.
Another huge distraction that we didn’t need, over a platform that is no bigger threat than any other, at a time when we should be concentrating on something else. Welcome to Trump 2.0.




