$8 blue check mistermix

There was a discussion in the comments on my post on the Alabama IVF debacle about which forms of contraception would be allowed by our new Jesuitical overlords.  Let me cut to the chase on this one:  the answer is none, not a single one.

Anyone who grew up Catholic could give you that answer in a second, because that’s what we were taught through incessant repetition.  Only the “rhythm method” or “natural family planning” or whatever they’re calling it nowadays is allowed.  Everything else — and I mean every. fucking. thing. — is not allowed.  There’s no discussion of whether condoms or diaphragms are allowed — they aren’t.  Sterilization is out of the question (even today at Catholic hospitals, a woman can’t get her tubes tied during a C-section or right after delivery).  Of course, the pill and IUDs are already considered abortifacients by these goddam assholes, so they’re right out.   Pulling out is probably OK but you sure better not tell your priest about it.

This is where we’re heading with the current Republican party, no matter how hard they’re running away from it today.  Every sperm is sacred.  They have justices quoting scripture in the state supreme courts, and at least a couple nutcase Catholics on the US Supreme Court, and they all will come up with some reason that every form of birth control is illegal, unless we stop them.  If you think I’m nuts, tell me if you expected a court to basically outlaw IVF.  We’re in uncharted territory, and the priests are in charge.

We Are All Catholics NowPost + Comments (187)

Anne Laurie posted about Nikki Haley’s response to the Alabama decision basically making IVF impossible in that state (so impossible that the UAB Medical Center and Alabama Fertility  stopped IVF immediately after the ruling).

I know someone who worked in a fertility clinic, and from what this person told me, IVF is a special kind of hell for couples going through it.  First, it’s expensive, like a new car expensive, and that’s often out-of-pocket.  Second, the drugs that the female in the couple has to take are crazy making and a horrible addition to a tough process.  Third, the retrievals (of the eggs) have to be very carefully timed, as do the implantation of the embryos that result from the retrieval plus fertilization.  Also, tons of embryos are discarded by fertility clinics because they’re not viable, or the couple has all the babies they want — until the Alabama ruling, this was the quiet part that the forced birthers didn’t want to say out loud, since they do love themselves a quiverfull.

So here we have a couple that is desperate to have a baby, have probably tried a number of other ways to get pregnant before trying IVF, and are going through a process where timing is everything.  Then some god-bothering old white men and women, who happen to be Supreme Court Justices in this backwater state, decide that Jesus decreed that those embryos are little tiny frozen babies.  I can’t imagine the anguish of a couple who put their life savings into having a baby and now have some frozen embryos, or are ready for retrieval, and are unable to access care due to the nonsensical beliefs of a bunch of dotards.

Someone on Bluesky made the point that, as long as the US Supreme Court is constituted as it is today, we’re all living in a red state.  Maybe when this ruling goes to the Supremes and it’s 6-3 for frozen little babies, I’ll believe that.  But as long as that set of reactionaries are going to stick with their “states decide on abortion” “precedent” that they created with Dobbs, it sure as hell makes a big difference if you’re living in a red state and want IVF.

While we’re on the topic of old white men who don’t know shit:

Edited to add:  Thanks to Another Scott in the comments, the Bluesky poster was LOLGOP and he has a longer post on the topic here.

Every Sperm is SacredPost + Comments (154)

I was browsing for a podcast to listen to at the gym and this turd popped up in my feed:

This is his second week on this fantasy topic.  I’ll help Ezra out with a few pictures showing how it would work.  One possibility:

Here’s another:

At this moment, the top two stories on the NYT’s website are about China and AI, and the possibility of a Russian nuclear weapon going into orbit.  At the Post, we have Trump’s plan for militarized mass deportation of immigrants,[gift link] and the death of a non-binary 16-year-old after bullying in Oklahoma [gift link].  One of these papers captures the moment we’re in.  The other is spending time on bullshit (China’s behind on AI – unsurprising and not top of front page material IMO.  Pure, unadulterated speculation on Russia’s nuclear activity – again, not  top of front page material.) Ezra has clearly internalized his role in the wank-industrial complex.

Say It (Over and Over Again)Post + Comments (209)

Via Josh Marshall, here’s a run down of Kari Lake’s most recent encounter with an actual media outlet:

A defensive Kari Lake acknowledged in a radio interview Monday she couldn’t identify exactly who “stole” her gubernatorial election, said Ukraine “is lost” to Russia, and said she would not back a federal ban on all abortions.

Lake also now says her past criticism of the late Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., that offended and alienated many of his supporters was meant in jest.

Kari’s clearly trying to “pivot” but you can’t pivot when you’ve been talking shit for years.  Since this is a local newspaper (The Arizona Republic), they actually call her on her bullshit.  First, they dig into the abortion issue:

Lake said Monday she doesn’t support the availability of a pill that terminates pregnancy, saying she doesn’t think women should be taking medication that carries the risk of hemorrhaging.

You know what else carries a risk of hemorrhaging?  Pregnancy.  Hopefully zero people who really care about a woman’s right to an abortion will be fooled by Kari’s position.

Moving on to McCain, make sure you don’t have a mouthful of food or drink, so you don’t spit it out laughing at her “jest”:

In November 2022, Lake lashed out during a campaign event, asking, “We don’t have any McCain Republicans in here, do we? Get the hell out!”

She said the GOP “was the party of McCain. It was bad. Arizona has delivered some losers, haven’t they?”

Ha ha ha!  Such a comedian.  As with most bullies, “I was only joking” is just a bunch of gaslighting.

Here’s some foreign policy wisdom:

Lake said Russian President Vladimir Putin’s recent interview with conservative commentator Tucker Carlson showed he is willing to negotiate peace in Ukraine.

I could go on, but you get the picture.  Yeah, all the MAGAts will voter for her, but she’s gonna have to work a lot harder on her re-brand if she wants to appeal to anyone outside of the Fox/OAN bubble.

Hey, Kari Lake, What’s Your Game Now?Post + Comments (59)

As soon as I saw it on my podcast player, I knew Ezra Klein’s “Democrats have a better option than Biden” podcast was going to be incredibly annoying and very skippable.  I have too many naps to take, and too much scotch to drink. to listen to yet another take on how some imaginary candidate X would wipe the floor with Trump, and yet the Democrats won’t pick X.

But I was wrong – it’s worse.  Young Ezra has grown from a young participant in the bong parties following a freshman PoliSci seminar into a full-fledged wanktastic pundit, because he’s trotted out the oldest pundit masturbatory topic in the book:  the brokered convention.  Apparently — and here I have to admit I’ve only read about his podcast and not listened to it — he thinks that Obama, Anita Dunn, and the rest of Biden’s inner circle need to stage an intervention.  They (merely) need to say, Joe, you’ve gotta go, we had it once, we ain’t got it anymore.  Then, Joe, who as we all know likes trains, will buy a ticket on the central line and leave DC.  His rapid and drama-free departure will leave the convention wide open for candidate Captain Marvel/Superspiderman (or woman), who will swoop in to the accolades of the smoky backroom fixers and we’ll all live happily ever after.  Be sure to check for belongings under your seat before exiting the theater.

There are so many reasons that this is stupid that I don’t think I need to go into them with this audience, though I will mention that nothing gets a wanker pundit to wank harder than imagining the democratic will of the people being thwarted by a few backroom fixers. Still, Ezra’s got people talking about this moronic idea instead of whatever screw up the Republicans are perpetrating today, so at least it’s a win for his Republican employer, the NYT.

Anyway, here’s where I can mention that I get a chuckle out of people in the comments here and elsewhere re-litigating the primaries, saying that some candidate ruined another’s chances in the general by making some criticism of that candidate in the primary.  That’s a real misreading of the role of primaries.  Primaries are, in theory at least, where our side dukes it out to find out if Candidate X is the real thing or just plays a superhero on TV.  History books are full of candidates that looked good for a bit, then shit the bed when it was time to run a campaign.  Only someone whose contact with politics is quasi-academic, and who’s spent too much time reading fantasy novels, would want to substitute a brokered convention for primaries.

Joe Biden is going to be the Democratic nominee because nobody serious stepped up to challenge him.   There will probably be zero delegates voting against him because the non-serious challengers won no delegates.  That’s how Democratic nomination conventions work in the current century, no matter how many fantasies people like Ezra crank out.

‘Cause the Wankers gonna Wank, Wank, Wank, Wank, WankPost + Comments (176)

The products of someone’s conception of “you know, like what the black kids wear, but classy” being gawked at by Trump are getting a lot of attention.  Called “Never Surrender” by someone who’s never been a soldier in the winter’s night with a vow to defend, and on sale now for $399, they seem like a desperate grab for money, considering Trump’s current situation.  But, can we just pause for a moment to consider how completely fucking uncool they are?  I mean, to use references Trump would get, they’re Lawrence Welk covering a Beatles song,  Richard Nixon on Laugh-In, and Sinatra singing Mr. Tambourine Man.

Also, maybe they’re about money, but they’re more about attention, and Trump’s ability to act like a clown to get that attention.  Let’s face it:  the stories about Trump’s campaign running out of money are being written by people who have never grasped the length that billionaires will go to retain their tax breaks.  Those fuckers might talk a good game about “withholding support” or “considering a third-party candidate”, but in the end they make their excuses and drop multi-million dollar checks on a guy who thinks he’s “with it” because he’s selling shoes that look like they were made in China for 10 bucks to rubes for $400.

Like Wayne Newton Covering a Kendrick Lamar Song with a Bossa Nova BeatPost + Comments (247)

The Post spends a looong time [gift link] going through the politics, resentment and inferiority complex behind the Rhode Island Hall of Fame, as it is torn apart by the decision to add Michael Flynn to the list of notables: