• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Dumb motherfuckers cannot understand a consequence that most 4 year olds have fully sorted out.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

Bark louder, little dog.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

So fucking stupid, and still doing a tremendous amount of damage.

A norm that restrains only one side really is not a norm – it is a trap.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

There are no moderate republicans – only extremists and cowards.

Today in our ongoing national embarrassment…

Is trump is trying to break black America over his knee? signs point to ‘yes’.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.

“They all knew.”

Too little, too late, ftfnyt. fuck all the way off.

It is not hopeless, and we are not helpless.

People are weird.

Republicans do not trust women.

Every reporter and pundit should have to declare if they ever vacationed with a billionaire.

No one could have predicted…

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

You would normally have to try pretty hard to self-incriminate this badly.

All hail the time of the bunny!

Mobile Menu

  • 2026 Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2026 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Archives for 2004

Archives for 2004

Most Pathetic Groan Yet

by John Cole|  November 7, 20046:38 pm| 11 Comments

This post is in: Democratic Stupidity

This may be the most pathetic editorial wheeze I have seen post-election (via e-mailer Dave):

It’s near midnight Tuesday as I write this, and Dubya is in the fast lane back to the White House. I wish I could say I’m surprised or disappointed in my country. The truth is that I’m neither. The U.S. electorate performed as I knew it would, despite my protestations of hope and glimmers of optimism. I’m resigned — not to the idea of a neocon nation but to the fact that I will always feel alienated from the country I live in but can no longer consider my home. Home? That’s where you feel welcome. I don’t feel welcome in the United States right now. Home? That’s where you feel safe. I’ve never felt more threatened.

We are officially a minority, folks. We’ve always known that San Francisco was an oasis. Now we’re forced to acknowledge that it’s a ghetto, too. Look at the electoral map. We’re like a coastal preserve filled with threatened species: feminists, queers, liberals, leftists, pacifists, intellectuals, environmentalists, libertarians, people who drive hybrids.

That threatened group of Prius owners. The author also directs us to this hysterical website- Marry an American. Enjoy.

Most Pathetic Groan YetPost + Comments (11)

Wisdom from the Fat Bastard

by John Cole|  November 7, 200412:18 pm| 20 Comments

This post is in: Politics

The fatr treasonous bastard, AKA Michael Moore, is back, and has some reasons for lefties to find solace in another resounding electoral defeat. His list includes:

4. In spite of Bush’s win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn’t worth fighting (51%), and don

Wisdom from the Fat BastardPost + Comments (20)

Sheer Idiocy

by John Cole|  November 7, 20045:52 am| 68 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

Having made a long defense of red-staters and their religious beliefs, let me remark on another issue, if you will:

School officials have revised the science curriculum to allow the teaching of creationism, prompting an outcry from more than 300 educators who urged that the decision be reversed.

Members of Grantsburg’s school board believed that a state law governing the teaching of evolution was too restrictive. The science curriculum “should not be totally inclusive of just one scientific theory,” said Joni Burgin, superintendent of the district of 1,000 students in northwest Wisconsin.

Last month, when the board examined its science curriculum, language was added calling for “various models/theories” of origin to be incorporated.

Teaching creationism in science class and pretending it is a viable ‘model/theory’ is akin to teaching magic in calculus just because some people are too unwilling or too stupid to understand the fundamentals of mathematics.

I would call this sort of nonsense junk science, but out of respect to legitimate junk scientists everywhere, I will keep my mouth shut.

Idiot flat-earthers.

Sheer IdiocyPost + Comments (68)

Moral Values

by John Cole|  November 6, 200411:24 pm| 10 Comments

This post is in: Democratic Stupidity

Another thing on moral values- why do the democrats seem to want to define the broad topic of moral values so damn narrowly? If you listen to the post-election punditry from theleft, ‘moral values’ and homosexual marriage are the same thing. This is just absurd, because ‘moral values’ is an abstract label for something that can mean different things to different people. Let’s try to explain it this way.

If you have ever been to Blockbuster Video, you will notice that movies are arranged into artificially created categories. This is done to ease your search for the appropriate movie. However, often times movies are not where you would expect them to be. Sometimes what you thought was a comedy is in the drama section. Sometimes a drama might be found in action, etc. Why?

Because it is possible for different people to have different concepts concerning the dominant genre of the movie. For example, the movie ‘Lost in Translation.’ I thought of it as a comedy/drama. Others think of it as a romance picture. Others yet see little humor and would classify it as chiefly drama.

‘Moral values’ is the same way- it can mean different things to different people. I am perfectly willing to concede that a small fraction of the voters who voted for Bush (4-5 million), were perhaps motivated by bigotry and homophobia, and to them, ‘moral values’ may be defined as an all out intolerance of homosexuality and gay marriage. Having said that, just because there are bigots and homophobes in the Republican party (as there are in the Democratic party, the Libertarian party, hell, probably even the Green party), it is unfair and unrealistic to define the entire party by a minority of its constituents.

There are, however, numerous other ways to define moral values. If I had been asked what was meant about ‘moral values,’ I would have responded in a much different way. I couldn’t give two shits about homosexuality or gay marriage, so I probably have a different idea about ‘moral values.’ Let’s look at some other explanations or interpretations of moral values:

Honesty: John Kerry told so many damned lies throughout the campaign that even his own supporters were referring to him as profoundly phony. He was never honest about his position on the war in Iraq, and he was lying and is lying about his intentions to stay the course in Iraq. Everyone who voted for and most of the people who voted against Kerry knew every time he said he was going to ‘stay the course’ in Iraq and wanted to ‘win’ in Iraq he really meant he wanted to withdraw troops as soon as possible, victory and success be damned. That he, on his own, consistently felt the need to tell us that he wanted to win speak volumes. Does George Bush have to tell us he wants to win? Of course not, because we know he is serious and honest about his intentions in Iraq.

Want some more lies that Kerry willfully told throughout the campaign, and the press never said a thing abot? How about lying about the draft? How about lying about Bush ending social security? How about the lies regarding Osama and Tora Bora? How about the lies about outsourcing in general? How about lying about his military record and lying about releasing his records? How about lying about Bush’s record? Lying about the economy? If anything, the left helped to create the backlash Kerry suffered. Unwilling to call Kerry on any of his faleshoods, it emboldened him to make more and more and more. He was and is, after all, “Anyone But Bush.”

Character: Lawrence O’Donnell and Media Matters can dismiss the Swift Vets, but I can’t. I think Kerry did the honorable thing serving, but I can not get past 250 decorated veterans with stories that do, in many cases add up. One aspect that I can not understand is why there would be so many of them against him if there was nothing there. Military men do not justslander each other, so for all 250 men, this was not politically motivated. Hell, I spent almost ten years in the army, and if I ran for President, you probably couldn’t find 250 men who had an opinion about me one way or another. That in itself is telling.

Add to that all the other stories, like swearing at Secret Service agents, etc., and you paint a pretty unpleasant picture.

Loyalty: Call me a reactionary. Call me unfair. I simply will never excuse Kerry for his Senate testimony while our guys were in POW camps. Ever.

Moral Clarity: For Kerry- everything is nuanced. Bush has a clear vision of right and wrong. Critics mock him, but I appreciate this clarity of thought. We have enemies, and there is nothing wrong with publicly stating that we have enemies and confronting them.

Public Decency: While this sort of thing does not bother me (I am rather decadent in my cultural tastes), there are people who are bothered by what they see coming from Hollywood and the entertainment world. When John Kerry stands on a stage with a group of Hollywood actors and elites and says these are my people, it makes a choice between Bush and Kerry pretty easy for those with the viewpoint that Hollywood values just ain’t right.

There- right off the top of my head I can come up with a variety of interpretations for what people think of when they say they based their vote on moral issues, and each one provides a good reason that 79% of those who stated moral values were their most important issue voted for Bush.

Only in the liberal mind does moral values mean only homosexuality and gay marriage. And they say Bush has a Manichaean outlook.

Moral ValuesPost + Comments (10)

The Burbs

by John Cole|  November 6, 200410:37 pm| 2 Comments

This post is in: Politics

Interesting story on the Bush/Cheney strategy in Florida.

The BurbsPost + Comments (2)

Unhinged

by John Cole|  November 6, 200410:23 pm| 12 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

I was afraid this was going to happen- the left has now become completely unhinged. Even though the later analysis proves him wrong, Ken Layne really, really likes the idea that every state that did not vote for Gore/Kerry is ‘Jesusland.’ His weblog has now turned into a 4 day screed, which hopefully has been fueled by tequila and sangria binges. I say hopefully, because I can exucse someone acting like a total asshole if they are drunk.

At any rate, some samples of deep thinking from Ken:

Sure, Jesusland is always for blowing up Arabs, but it’s not the kind of thing you think about all the time!

If you live in a red state, you are in favor of random murder- but only casually.

If you’re 14 years old and want to get high or get laid, your best bet is the Pastor’s Daughter, as every kid who ever visited Jesusland immediately learns. Who is Jenna Bush if not the National Pastor’s Daughter?

Hrmm. How pissed would Ken Layne be if George Bush, at a press conference, said: “Hey- if you want to get laid and you are in the Reno are, why not try Ken Layne’s wife? Everyone knows that liberal chicks are the easiest.”

Talking trash shit about the President’s daughter. Real edgy, Ken. Real classy, too.

Unless you are a particularly observant resident of Jesusland, you have no idea what they’re really up to out there, and why they’re so haunted by homosexuality.

Ahh, those stupid red staters. Not observant to really see what is going on in their own midst. It takes an out of state, guitar-playing, sometimes journalist, world traveler and bon vivant to really let you know the deal. Thanks, Ken, old buddy.

Ken- get a grip. You are embarassing yourself in public- please put your breast back in your dress.

UnhingedPost + Comments (12)

Good Post

by John Cole|  November 5, 20049:44 pm| 12 Comments

This post is in: Politics

Interesting post here.

Good PostPost + Comments (12)

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 9
  • Page 10
  • Page 11
  • Page 12
  • Page 13
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 145
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - SkyBluePink -  10 Photos 6
Photo by SkyBluePink (4/15/26)
Donate

Election Resources

Voter Registration Info – Find a State
Check Voter Registration by Address
Election Calendar by State

Targeted Fundraising Info & Links

Recent Comments

  • PAM Dirac on (Bad) Sportsball Open Thread: FIFA Fo Fum (Apr 18, 2026 @ 6:46pm)
  • Omnes Omnibus on (Bad) Sportsball Open Thread: FIFA Fo Fum (Apr 18, 2026 @ 6:41pm)
  • Geminid on (Bad) Sportsball Open Thread: FIFA Fo Fum (Apr 18, 2026 @ 6:40pm)
  • tokyokie on (Bad) Sportsball Open Thread: FIFA Fo Fum (Apr 18, 2026 @ 6:38pm)
  • PAM Dirac on (Bad) Sportsball Open Thread: FIFA Fo Fum (Apr 18, 2026 @ 6:31pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Outsmarting Apple iOS 26

Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup

Order Calendar A
Order Calendar B

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix
Rose Judson (podcast)
Sister Golden Bear

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Privacy Manager

Copyright © 2026 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc