You probably all already saw this on Washington Monthly, but since we pride ourselves here on making fun of Randers, we would be remiss if we didn’t pass this along:
Lloyd Grove: Tell me a little bit about what the show is going to be.
John Stossel: It will be one subject. The first subject will be maybe Atlas Shrugged or global warming — Atlas Shrugged because I think 50 years ago, Ayn Rand predicted today. It sort of sums up what I’m going to be reporting about.
Lloyd Grove: Ayn Rand predicted what?
John Stossel: Big government, nice-sounding legislation like “The Preservation of Livelihood Law,” which mandated that Hank Rearden’s production must not be bigger than any other steel mill, to make it a level playing field. It’s silly.
Lloyd Grove: Is that a new law passed by this Congress?
John Stossel: No, but it’s what Wesley Mouch, the evil bureaucrat in the book, passed. And what Tim Geithner and what Barney Frank might like to pass.
Not that I like Ayn Rand’s work, but even it deserves better than this.
Comrade Luke
Because it would be irresponsible not to speculate what Tim Geithner and Barney Frank might like to pass!
oh really
No it didn’t. Not really. Stoessel and Rand are made for each other. Imagine those two egos in the same room (stadium?).
Birds of a Feather
No doubt Ayn would consider her a kindred soul
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/12/10/palin-climate-lies/
PeakVT
And here I am, thinking that you can’t get dumber than confusing an episode of 24 with real life.
dr. bloor
To paraphrase Rummy, I guess we build our legacy with the readership we have, not the one we’d like to have.
DougJ
I guess we build our legacy with the readership we have, not the one we’d like to have.
So true.
El Cid
Not like any non-Democrats would have put in some sort of weird legislation with an ideologically suggestive title like, oh, PATRIOT act or something something something…
Leelee for Obama
Where’s asiangrrl with her rusty pitchfork? I don’t believe I’ve ever encountered a more deserving recipient of several pokes with it than Stossell. What an absolute waste of skin, and oxygen, also!
Pug
Atlas Shrugged is like War and Peace. It’s so god damned long nobody reads it anyway.
beltane
Ayn Rand is like the Marquis De Sade without the ebullient debauchery. Such a grim, dull, bourgeois sociopath. This is exactly the treatment her work deserves.
Just Some Fuckhead
So what is Stossel calling his program? My Imagination Is Bigger Than Ayn Rand’s?
Notorious P.A.T.
That Tim Geithner! He’s such a tree-hugging liberal firebrand!
gypsy howell
I hope he talks like this on his show. His schtick might appeal to Randian-wannabees, but I doubt many of them have actually read the book (It’s got a LOT of pages, y’know.) so they won’t have a friggin’ clue what he’s talking about.
On the other hand, they might start protesting The Preservation of Livelihood Law on the Capitol steps. I bet Bachmann will even come out against it.
Sly
If by “better” you mean grinded into mulch and used as fertilizer by a commune of hippies growing soybeans for their non-fat yogurt lattes and biodiesel-converted VW Mini-Bus, I would agree.
Leelee for Obama
@gypsy howell:
Win!
El Cid
Tim Geithner shows his command economy Marxist leanings by so greatly protecting the interests of the investors and bankers and providing them with funds produced from the taxes collected on workers.
This is exactly what Karl Marx said to do about creating a ruling dictatorship of the bourgeoisie in order to protect the revolution from the inherent counter-revolutionary traits of the proletariat, in the long process toward true capitalism.
Mark S.
Wow, I recommend reading the whole piece, especially:
Leelee for Obama
@Sly: The best thing one could do to honor anything Ayn Rand wrote i s rip put the pages and use them instead of Scottissue. It would remove her toxic waste from the planet and save paper, and Trees, also.
Re-use, reduce, recycle.
Think how that would piss her off. It’s Genius, I tells ya.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Wow. Such focus!
His comments about fictional characters are still slightly less stupid than Santorum’s comments about Hobbits.
Slightly.
Well…
Call it a tie.
Thoughtcrime
I think the single subject the show should focus on is this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVfu19fUKTY
They should show the last 10 seconds in an infinite loop. It never grows old.
Robin G.
@Pug: @beltane: Clearly we need to start an “End This Sentence” contest.
Ayn Rand is like ________ ….
Seebach
Hmm… didn’t know there was a new movie about Michael Ruppert and peak oil out now. I’d watch it, but I already know it.
Seanly
And to think I read a lot of Ayn Rand at one point. But even as a teenager, I could see there was something wrong with her juvenile philosophy.
JK
Yeah, something like Sesame Street.
brat
No, it IS poetic justice for Rand. Cosmic paybacks can be quite harsh….
The Republic of Stupidity
And while we’re at it, let’s not forget…
The Department of Homeland Security…
Let’s face it… THAT’S a title that both Hitler AND Stalin could get behind…
Rosali
Big government, nice-sounding legislation like:
No Child Left Behind
Healthy Forest Initiative
Clear Skies Initiative
The Republic of Stupidity
Ayn Rand is like ____ ….
Notorious P.A.T.
Speaking of libertarianism, here’s an enjoyable piece about the demise of the Moony Times.
http://mediamatters.org/columns/200912080004
arguingwithsignposts
@brat:
I just wish it would come sooner.
Warren Terra
If anyone deserves Stossel, it’s got to be Rand. The article on Rand in the current Harpers gives you a feel for just how shallow and vile a person she was.
Seebach
All you need to know about Ayn Rand and her crush with a serial killer:
http://michaelprescott.net/hickman.htm
Seebach
Ayn Rand’s response?
arguingwithsignposts
@Warren Terra:
@Seebach:
Unfortunately, there’s been so much debunking of Rand’s bullsh*t philosophy and the result? Not a damned thing. Facts mean nothing to the glibertarians.
Seebach
@arguingwithsignposts: True enough. But I think more sane people need to know about Hickman. Most people might think Ayn Rand is stupid, but they don’t understand she is depraved.
arguingwithsignposts
@Seebach:
I agree. I was on a plane recently next to a young woman who pulled out a copy of Atlas Shrugged. The flight was not long enough for me to deal with Ayn Rand’s intellectual and moral bankruptcy.
And unfortunately, enough people (especially folks like Greenspan) don’t understand that she’s stupid, much less depraved.
Seebach
@arguingwithsignposts: Also agreed, but I want a world in which Atlus Shrugged readers are treated like readers of Mein Kampf, or child pornographers.
Martin
Never forget that people consider Stossel to be a reporter.
maus
And even with this you give her work far more credit than deserved.
tripletee
Clearly what our national discourse needs is more hard-hitting investigative cable news programs hosted by smug glibertarians who aren’t afraid to sport full-on molest-staches.
Shoot me now.
dmsilev
@arguingwithsignposts: Couldn’t you get the flight attendant to reseat you? There must be something in the airline policy manual to cover such contingencies: “No, you don’t understand. She’s reading *Ayn Rand*. I just know that she’s going to read *all* of John Galt’s speech to me.”
-dms
beltane
@Seebach: That is why I compared her to the Marquis de Sade. Both had a philosophy that is far outside the bounds of the morality of any human society I can think of. They both espoused views that were the very essence of anti-social. If humanity had followed this path, we would have gone extinct tens of thousands of years ago.
freelancer
@The Republic of Stupidity:
That’s how you blockquote, Smalls!
Also, did you know that steel wool is flammable? What would make this scenario even better?
Comrade Alan
Exactly. This bozo, like many on the Right, are trying to shoehorn Ayn Rand into their own fantastical view of the world.
And was it not about Hank Rearden’s special metal that was better than everyone else’s what the state bureaucrats wanted? Or maybe Stossel read a different version of her book.
Ripley
Ayn Rand is like a John Stossel enema. Wait, I think I have that backward….
Shygetz
Really? She writes a novel about a mythical superman who creates a magical device that generates free energy, who then leads a group of similar supermen to form a new society where, apparently, everyone is so brilliant that there is no one left to take out the trash–and then bases an entire “philosophy” on the life lessons to be learned from this strikingly realistic morality tale. And you think basing wishful thinking on this novel is to demean it?
No. Ayn Rand’s work deserves precisely this. In fact, this is probably along the lines of what she wanted…to be viewed as a deeply profoud philosopher by gullible people who want to justify their shallowness and self-involvement.
Brian J
You know, this might be the red wine talking, but Stossel isn’t entirely a buffoon. He’s probably on to something when he talks about how an immigrant can’t open a business because of licensing laws. Generally speaking, there should be more of a focus on how specific laws and regulations affect specific groups and the economy as a whole. But people like him seem to take it to a ridiculously extreme degree and never consider the other side of the issue. Maybe there’s more to the “bipartisan center,” assuming each group operates in good faith, than we let on.
arguingwithsignposts
@dmsilev:
Well, I wasn’t listening when they did the standard pre-flight show. She may have mentioned something like that.
“If the person next to you pulls out a copy of Ayn Rand, an idiot mask will drop down from above your seat. Please cover the mouths of children first, then cover your own. And alert the flight crew immediately.”
Kevin
Up here in Soviet Canuckistan we call them Randroids.
fraught
Nice! I like a good Rynd thread every now and again.
Rynd is like one of the undead. There are always new kids who read her and think they’ve discovered the answers to the universe. But usually by the time they realize they should have gone to college instead of trying to make it through John Galt’s speech during their work breaks at DunkinDonuts and give up on her there’s a whole new bunch of low budget geniuses starting down the road of objectivism.
Mike in NC
If only we could get John Stossel, Geraldo Rivera, and Tom Friedman to make a Moustache Porno Extravaganza.
JGabriel
tripletee:
No, that’s not quite a molest-stache. The point of a molest-stache, if I remember Garp correctly, is to be shaved off after molesting to prevent identification.
John Stossel’s ‘stache never moves, never disappears. It just lays there, like it’s so relieved and exhausted by escaping Geraldo Rivera’s face that it can’t be bothered to go anywhere.
Or maybe he sprays it with Aqua-net(tm).
.
Warren Terra
@dmsilev
Forget getting a new seat – call for the TSA! FSM knows, the wingers have reported scary beardy people with Korans on airplanes and been taken seriously, and unlike Al Qaeda, who perverted a religion they share with millions of perfectly wonderful people, the Randroids who’ve done so much damage to our country did so fully in the spirit of their patron saint and in complete agreement with her teachings. Take no chances, and report that there’s a possible Objectivist extremist on board.
At the very least, insist that they not be seated in an exit row — after all, if you sit there you’re agreeing to help others, and that’s against their religion.
asiangrrlMN
@Leelee for Obama: I gotcher rusty pitchfork right here, baby, and I am more than prepared to use it on Stossel. I hate that asshole.
@Mike in NC: Thank you for that image. No, really. I think I have a spare rusty pitchfork around here somewhere….
srv
A+++ WOULD VOTE FOR THESE F***ERS AGAIN
JGabriel
It’s like they don’t remember the last 8 years.
This sounds like legislation made for the veto pen. Hope Obama knows how to wield it.
.
CalD
Oh boy, someone’s feeling Randy!
Notorious P.A.T.
No, it really doesn’t. I’m reading that page linked to earlier about her infatuation with a child killer. Ecccch.
oh really
@Pug:
Having read both, I can tell you that Atlas Shrugged is no War and Peace, and the difference between the two is far greater than that between Dan Quayle and John Kennedy. It’s more like the difference between Joe the Plumber and Plato-Socrates-and Aristotle combined.
One book is great literature that requires a significant commitment to finish; the other is a waste of ink, paper, and time. Surely, there is no more repetitive and boring passage in all of literature than “John Galt Speaks.” It should have been called “John Galt Drones on Forever, Etc.” Ideally, Fran Dresher would read for the books on CD edition.
It’s been decades since I read both books. I only wish I could forget that I ever read Atlas Shrugged. It’s not the content that haunts me, but all the time wasted that could have been better spent taking out the trash or playing Solitaire with a deck of 51 cards.
In the end, John Stossel is exactly the person to be dealing with Ayn Rand. Stossel, a person not worth watching or listening to, discussing Rand, a person not worth reading or listening to. And all we have to do is ignore them both completely. Nothing could be easier.
Notorious P.A.T.
That could be. On the other hand, the last time I went into a gas station or convenience store that wasn’t run by an immigrant was. . .
dr. luba
@Pug: People do actually read Atlas Shrugged, because they’ve been talked into it by friends in high school who go on to be college drop outs and bitch and moan about how stupid other people are and end up dittoheads. Of course, some of us skipped the speech……I mean, really, there’s only so much even a high school brain can take.
My niece had to read some Randian dreck for high school english….Anthem, I think. She hated it, thought it was a colossal waste of time. Smart kid. I suspect her politics will not be those of her Republican father.
Mark S.
I just remembered something I read about John Galt a couple of months ago:
That doesn’t sound very Galtian.
mclaren
You evil Moucher you.
wasabi gasp
You name it, Rand pre-dicked it.
racrecir
Ayn Rand is like …. the Church of Satan.
See if you can tell which quote is Ayn Rand and which is Anton LaVey.
1. For centuries, the mystics of spirit had existed by running a protection racket – by making life on earth unbearable, then charging you for consolation and relief, by forbidding all the virtues that make existence possible, then riding on the shoulders of your guilt, by declaring production and joy to be sins, then collecting blackmail from the sinners.
2. We believe in greed, we believe in selfishness, we believe in all the lustful thoughts that motivate man, because this is man’s natural feeling. If you are going to be a sinner, be the best sinner on the block.
3. Every religion in the world that has destroyed people is based on love.
4. Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be waiting for us in our graves–or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.
handy
@Mark S.:
My BS meter went off when I first read that, but via Wikipedia I discovered Mr. Garrett indeed penned a book entitled The Driver, a tale of an industrious man who saves a railway, about whom it is asked “Who is Henry M. Galt?”
Wilson Heath, Moron Minion 3rd Class
Has anyone ever spotted Palin and Stossel together in the same room at the same time? Coincidence?
tripletee
@JGabriel:
I don’t know if that’s true. I think Geraldo has 2 weekends a month/2 weeks in the summer visitation rights.
matt
@handy:
I’ll take a stab at it!
1: LaVey
2. Rand
3. Rand
4. Lavey
dSquib
Rand offends me as a lover of literature more than a lefty.
I should note I’ve come across a fair number of libertarians who hate her.
She’s really not that different from any self-help guru, playing the same purpose as The Secret, or Scientology maybe in either availing the filthy rich of any lingering guilt, especially for celebrities or Wall Street players who may feel they have earned a bundle without contributing much to the world, or convincing the self-identified downtrodden that government or some other singular obstacle is the only thing that stands in the way of them and greatness.
slightly_peeved
Well – in the US, maybe. The rest of the world thinks they’re full of shit. That whole “I’m so self-reliant, I don’t depend on anybody for anything, and nobody’s gonna tell me what to do” attitude seems to appear a lot more in US politics than anyone else’s.
Pug
Wow…oh really actually read both Atlas Shrugged and War and Peace.
That’s what I call a voracious reader. I’m lucky to make it through The Pearl or The Red Pony.
chopper
jesus stossel, if you want to do a special on a libertarian who actually predicted the state of modern politics at least pick one who was entertaining, like mencken. that dude could at least write.
bob h
I know I am too impressed with prestigious college degrees, but one notes with amazement that Stossel is a graduate of Princeton University.
racrecir
@matt:
You about got it right, the answers:
1. Rand
2. LaVey
3. LaVey
4. Rand
Ash Can
No, it doesn’t. In fact, it deserves far less than the attention Stossel is giving it.
And it’s no surprise that Stossel’s project is crap. Garbage in, garbage out.
racrecir
I had come by one of the LaVey quotes in passing, thought ‘Ayn Rand’, and quickly cobbled the other quotes. After some further reading, it turns outs the connection should have been expected:
Who Serves Satan?
Woodrowfan
The Soviets wanted to destroy the US. I think Ayn Rand was their secret weapon to do so.
Hob
Bleeaagagghghhhrh stossel stossel stossel hyurk ptoo.
That guy, I really really can’t stand that guy. It’s kind of satisfying to see him off of ABC and onto Fox because it’s like being more officially a joke (not that ABC is so serious)… but shit, he’s still on TV and people are still interviewing him about his stupid fucking plans and dreams. What a sleazy waste of electrons.
Stossel is one lying-ass motherfucker. Y’all don’t need me to tell you this, but I have extra reason to say it because I used to type transcripts for ABC, so I had to sit through all the outtakes of his horrible shows, and witnessed how his bullshit got frankensteined together out of mangled morsels of reality… I felt like an accomplice in a pathetic crime every time I typed that crap. It was always clear from the get-go that he was aiming for some big fat pseudo-contrarian lie for the modern Archie Bunker, like “recycling is bad for you” or “everyone on welfare is a crook” or whatever, and he would shamelessly push all his interviewees in that direction, and then if they still wouldn’t say what he wanted, he would edit them as misleadingly as any Daily Show interview or just cut them from the show. He is cheerfully ignorant of anything except how to write propaganda, and he really doesn’t give a damn. And off camera, he sounds just the same as he does on screen: like a 15-year-old happy snotty bully.
I am stone cold sober btw.
raptusregaliter
What’s the over/under on when Stossel will sit down with Dennis Miller for a douchebag summit? Miller will recite his meme about how 9/11 changed everything, then they’ll spend the rest of the show seeing who can be the biggest tool.
maus
The stopped clock principle prevents all but the most calculating republican and fauxdependent from being fully worthless.
Of COURSE the “bipartisan center” as exists in theory is a place that we should be in.
“Bipartisanism” as defined by the republicans, corporatist dems, and the media is a fucking place of devils and if you think it’s referenced, defined, and operated in good faith you’re gullible beyond belief.
Comrade Kevin
@Shygetz:
You make her sound like L. Ron Hubbard. I’m not sure which one I’m insulting by making the comparison, though.
SFAW
Hey, at least Hubbard knew his stuff was total bullshit.
Plus:
1) Dianetics is not substantially loonier than Objectivism
2) Hubbard didn’t feel the need to hide his heritage
3) Any “religion” that can pass off a Wheatstone Bridge as a device that tells you how close to FSM you are has a nice sense of the absurd going for it
[Having lived near a “Church” of Scientology for awhile, and constantly got accosted by their zombies, you have no idea how much cognitive dissonance I got right now.]
I’m at +0, but maybe I better get to +6 ASAP
MikeBoyScout
Say what you like about glibertarian randroids, but the fact that Atlas Shrugged was able to accurately predict John Stossel’s musings of hypothetical legislation is a clear indication of her clairvoyance.
Posts about glibertarian randroids are my favorites. I laugh for days.
SFAW
Thank you for pointing that out, it’s kind of spooky.
Even more spooky: Nostradamus is a palindrome for Alisa Rosenbaum.
MikeBoyScout
.
Now doubt that’s a subject for a future Stossel show.
SFAW
Rand knew you were going to say that, y’know.
El Cid
Given how insane Hubbard was, and how from time to time friends and family described him as (paraphrased) ‘existing nearly entirely off of pharmaceuticals’, I don’t know if that was always true.
SFAW
Perhaps not, but legend has it that he once said (pre-Scientology) that one of the best tax dodges was to set up a religion. Shortly thereafter, Scientology was born.
I don’t know if the legend is true, but it sure plays better that way.
El Cid
@SFAW: No, I do believe that at one time Hubbard knew it was a money making dodge enterprises, but he started off crazy and got crazier and crazier as time passed, and as he blew more and more of his mind out on drugs. From time to time, crazy drug addled authoritarian cult leaders start having a hard time keeping the shit they believe out of the box of the shit they don’t believe.
SFAW
El Cid –
OK, I’ll take your word for it.
I still say my version works better, especially where Rand is concerned.