For others, a total spending freeze and a small, short-term limit increase was acceptable, provided it came with guarantees of deep spending cuts. For Tea Party Founding Fathers chairman William Temple, a reinstatement of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell and keeping women out of combat roles would also be acceptable.
Temple, who addressed the audience in his trademark colonial garb, is organzing the Tea Party Freedom Jamboree this fall in Kansas City. He railed against Boehner and the GOP leadership in his speech, calling them “wimpy RINOs” and even attacked Rep. Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) Medicare-destroying plan passed by the House last month as a “so-called ‘courageous’ budget”
Temple is 100% opposed to raising the debt ceiling, and said that how members vote on the issue will be the sole item on the tea party scorecard when it comes to rating candidates in 2012. Vote for the increase, you get a zero. Vote against it, you get a 100. Apparently it’s that simple.
But even Temple said he understood a compromise might be coming. So he offered a long list of things the Republicans could do that would lead the “tea party movement as a whole” to “possibly forgive Boehner and the House Republicans a small bump in the debt limit.”
On the list was keeping the front lines of America’s wars as free of openly gay people and women of any sexual leaning as possible.
Temple said that “if the House Armed Services Committee and the Pentagon slow down on injecting open homosexuality and females into forward combat roles,” tea partiers might be able to put up with their new Republican House voting to ensure American government services are paid for with more borrowed cash.
So basically, a man dressed in tights, a wig, and a trenchcoat is demanding that we either trash the economy or engage in gay bashing. And the Republicans will listen to them.
Because he is serious, of course.
*** Update ***
What she said. Also, too.
fhtagn
Is that Wolf Blitzer under the tricorn?
Evolved Deep Southerner
But they’re LOUD.
Stefan
Temple said that “if the House Armed Services Committee and the Pentagon slow down on injecting open homosexuality and females into forward combat roles,”
Jesus, now they’re injecting it? What’s next, free-basing the gay?
Just Some Fuckhead
Fucker is gonna need government assistance when Colonial Williamsburg finds out he’s not at work and fires his ass.
BGinCHI
Andrew Clark: You don’t have any goals.
John Bender: Oh but I do.
Andrew Clark: Yeah?
John Bender: I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need, is a lobotomy and some tights.
Brian Johnson: You wear tights?
Andrew Clark: No I don’t wear tights. I wear the required uniform.
Brian Johnson: Tights.
Andrew Clark: Shut up.
stuckinred
“The Tea Party movement has a mascot, and his name is William Temple.
Temple, whose day job is preaching to an African-American congregation in Georgia,
Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2010/02/20/musket-wielding-re-enactor-a-hit-at-conservative-events/#ixzz1LzhDSwVd
“
Stefan
So basically, a man dressed in tights, a wig, and a trenchcoat
If you’re into that kind of thing I know a few clubs downtown that can accomodate….
Villago Delenda Est
It’s all about the budget deficit, except for the near guy in the WH and the ghey. But otherwise, it’s all about the budget deficit.
General Stuck
These people are not real. They are frigments of your imagination. Hollowed spirits who drank too much of the George Bush kool aid and now roam the countryside in dildo proof costumes engaged in the epic conservative mission to segregate peckers and assholes. h/t Molly.
You got out in time, but the left has it’s own flavor kool aid.
WereBear
But I thought it was all about being financially responsible!
You mean they can be bribed with cruelty?
That puts a whole new spin on that Invisible Hand. What’s it got behind its Invisible Back?
Calouste
What’s the over/under on the number of deferments this guy got?
Just Some Fuckhead
@Calouste:
The Colonial Army didn’t give deferments.
AnotherBruce
Is that Rand Paul standing behind Mr. Colonial Whitey Tighteys? Or do all libertarians look alike?
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@Stefan:
What, you haven’t seen the 300 foot high, mile-long giant pink hypodermic needle the Pentagon uses to perform teh injections? A thing like that is kind of hard to miss. Painful as all hell, too.
Now which one of you bastards hid my bottle of Ripple again?
fhtagn
@Calouste:
I am pretty sure he had a discreet arrangement with Jefferson Davis, back in the day.
Keith G
@Calouste: One, when he showed up at his draft board dressed as Abigail Adams.
Jay in Oregon
Quote of the week.
MobiusKlein
@WereBear: An Invisible Dildo. Why do you ask?
Violet
@Evolved Deep Southerner:
But they’re WHITE.
cbear
Maybe he’s just pissed off for being booted out of the Village People band?
Stefan
So basically, a man dressed in tights, a wig, and a trenchcoat is demanding that we either trash the economy or engage in gay bashing.
You just know he’s got a wetsuit on under that get-up.
kdaug
I don’t begrudge the guy his silly costume.
I know people who like to dress up as Star Trek characters and Klingons, replete with their own made-up language, and go to SciFi conventions.
I know people who like to dress up as orcs and elves and dance around in the woods with fake swords.
I’ve even heard of people who like to dress up as chipmunks and bunnies and have sex with each other.
Cool by me. No skin off my nose.
But I sure as shit wouldn’t turn to these people for policy and budgetary advice.
Roger Moore
The inmates, they are trying to take over the asylum.
piratedan
I guess one does not simply raise the debt ceiling into Mordor…..
Roger Moore
@MobiusKlein:
No, no, that’s what it has in its backside, under its two invisible wetsuits.
Cain
@fhtagn:
pillow friends?
fhtagn
@kdaug:
Just wait until the Values Voters realize that William Temple is really a Ferengi under the Santa beard and the faux-warrior get-up.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Is that a small bump in the debt limit, or are you just happy to see me?
ricardo
The Teahadists’ new rallying cry: “Give me homophobia, or give me debt!”
fhtagn
Incidentally, congratulations to Rand Paul for making Donald Trump seem measured and rational in his contribution to our national debate:
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/05/in-dc-nikki-haley-takes-labor-fight-to-national-stage.php?ref=fpb
BGinCHI
@ricardo: Nice. FTW.
Citizen Alan
Every now and then, I have a moment of clarity in which I am startled and frightened by the extent to which I despise the Tea Party and everyone associated with it. And then, I actually see or hear one again, the moment passes, and I cease to consider them as being fully human. Can we please hurry up and get those FEMA internment camps open already?
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@fhtagn:
I don’t know about keeping a WH Enemies List, but if Obama isn’t keeping an Idiots List, he has the patience of a saint.
LT
Perty sure it’s time for a Balloon Juice army to launch an attack on Aravosis for getting all gay outraged about Obama.
The standard line: TEH DoJ HAS TO DO THAT!
Just Some Fuckhead
@kdaug:
You are a fucking genius. That is exactly what the fiscal debate needs: more costumed advocates standing before cameras. Lessee, we could have Trekkies lobbying for a Federation economic system. We could have Medieval Reenactors lobbying for a return to the feudal system (they may eventually align with the teabaggers, so gotta be careful there.) We could have Furries lobbying for an agriculture-based economy. Geez, the possibilities.
Roger Moore
@ThatLeftTurnInABQ:
Or he’s run out of space because he’s still using a version of Excel that’s limited to 65,536 lines.
Origuy
When did cosplay become part of our national discourse?
Spaghetti Lee
You know what’s funny? When your vote is entirely not up for grabs because you think the Democrats are Satan incarnate, you got no leverage! I mean, what’s this guy’s argument? Do what I tell you, or I’ll vote Republican even harder next time?
piratedan
@Just Some Fuckhead: well John Boehner is already part of the Lollipop Guild.
JCT
But we’re not bigots and racists! Why do you keep calling us those names?
delphi_ote
Well, this clinches it.
The Tea Party is TOTALLY invoking the memory of our nation’s founding fathers to improve our tax codes and promote fiscal responsibility. Obviously, the people in this movement have nothing to do with all those silly, irresponsible, fundamentalist, wack-job Republicans that are the literally the exact same people as the Tea Party.
Roger Moore
@Origuy:
No later than 1773, when a group of colonists dressed up as Native Americans to throw tea into Boston Harbor. Today’s Tea Party is following in the cosplaying footsteps of the originals.
delphi_ote
@Origuy: For making me laugh, you win one internet!
piratedan
@Roger Moore: except they don’t watch any really good anime
burnspbesq
@WereBear:
“That puts a whole new spin on that Invisible Hand. What’s it got behind its Invisible Back?”
The biggest invisible butt-plug you’ve ever not seen.
fhtagn
@burnspbesq:
“What has it got in its pocketsses, my precious?”
Duncan Dönitz (formerly Otto Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)
About the “I Can’t Believe We’re Losing to These People” tag: I can believe it. We have a press that takes these people seriously and gives them air time and columns to spout off. No matter how fucked up what you’re proposing may be, if you get to broadcast it widely enough for long enough, a lot of people, people who otherwise seem normal and healthy, will begin to buy into it.
And the problem is that too many press people believe a lot of this shit already. They don’t go in for the hats and tights, but they believe that the deficit is the biggest threat to our country TODAY!!! and that poor people really aren’t that bad off and need a little tough love.
We took our 4 year old in for her yearly checkup today, and in the waiting room, there was a woman with her little girl waiting to go in, and the mother was on the telephone talking to somebody about how she needed to sell her car. She had been doing all right some time back (I really wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but it was hard not to hear what she was saying, since she was sitting right next to me), but they’d cut her down at work from 8 hours a day to 4 hours a day, and she was having trouble getting by. I guess she was looking to sell her car to keep afloat in the short run.
I thought how sad it is that for Fred Hiatt and assholes like that, and even for a lot of the liberal columnists (Richard “I’m a Funny Guy!” Cohen), people like that woman just don’t exist. They just don’t see them. And if they somehow do manage to see them, they see them as lazy or as moochers or as selfish pigs sucking the federal teat dry. They don’t need any help; they just need to work harder, And if they’ve been so dumb as to fall so far behind that they do need it, well, hell, it’s their own fucking fault for being so lazy and worthless, so they sure as hell don’t deserve any help. Sink or swim on your own, you lazy, non-income-tax-paying, self-entitled welfare mooches! Sink or swim!
If we had Eugene Robinson or somebody like that running all the op-ed pages, we’d see the press get better. I don’t guess it’ll ever happen, though. Robinson and those like him just aren’t serious people.
DFH no.6
You know, if after this any of the myriad wingnuts surrounding me here make even one goddamn mention to me about “the leftists and their stupid puppets” (and I agree – they are stupid) I am going to plant my fist in their smug motherfucking faces.
Because the dumbass puppets never got to appear on stage with any elected Democratic officials and presume to give policy advice, let alone policy fucking demands, like these teabagging dipshits in their cringingly embarrassing and absurdly ridiculous colonial garb are given free rein to do with Republicans.
The heat of a thousand suns, is my hate for these ignorant and vile scum.
How in the hell is this the dominant side of our national “debate”?
The tag “I Can’t Believe We’re Losing to These People” was never more appropriately ascribed.
AAA Bonds
It’s deft maneuvering. Clearly, homosexuality is the primary issue of Republicans.
Egypt Steve
Seriously, hasn’t Temple ever seen anyone playing “Molly Pitcher” at a Tea-bagger rally? Didn’t he ever read about her in some white-wing book about Revolutionary heroes?
Egypt Steve
Seriously, hasn’t Temple ever seen anyone playing the role of “Molly Pitcher” at one of his Tea-bagger rallies, or at a Valley Forge re-enactment? Or hasn’t he even read about her in some white-wing coloring book about Revolutionary heroes?
Spanielboy
Speaking of limiting the pool of candidates to be on the front lines; where are the numbers of young, hetrosexual men stepping up coming from? Look at the enlistment numbers for the last ten years and tell me what the solution is.
johnsmith1882
“Hear ye! Hear ye! A list of our demands, good citizens!”
fhtagn
@Egypt Steve:
You keep talking about women swabbing and loading cannon near Billy Temple and I fear a premature discharge will be the only result.
beergoggles
Someone should just say green balloons and see if he stops.
Boohunney
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, Charlie Brown style!!!!!
rea
@Roger Moore:
1773, when a group of colonists dressed up as Native Americans to throw tea into Boston Harbor.
So to be authentic, William Temple ought to be wearing a feathers rather than a tricorn? Thank god he’s spared us the breechclot and bare chest.
William Temple, huh? Franklin’s grandson/secretary, bastard son of a bastard Tory?
b-psycho
@rea:
Unless he’s a native in disguise who really wants their country back…
Steeplejack
John Cole:
That’s properly called a frock coat, not a trench coat.
/Lord Douchebag.
jrg
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this moron decided he was not for fiscal conservatism the moment the Ryan budget made it clear he was going to lose his government subsidized medical care.
However, since he’s still pissed off, and he’s still a moron, he had to come up with something else to bitch about.
This seems to support my hypothesis that the best way to turn off an elderly “fiscal conservative” is to give him exactly what he says he wants. I swear to God, the tea baggers are the most contemptible people on the planet.
fhtagn
@rea:
I suspect the authentic William Temple wears a butt plug with a horse-tail emerging therefrom, and nothing else.
Nemesis
If Dems wish to be taken seriously, the best method is donning an unusual outfit or uniform of some kind.
Instant street cred right there.
I propose the white jumpsuit, black bowler and giant codpieces from A Clockwork Orange. With Tunch tshirts.
Bulworth
I guess getting all kinds of media attention is as easy as dressing up in weird “patriot” gear and identifying yourself as the head of the Tea Party People’s Front or the People’s Front of Tea Party.
Tonybrown74
@Stefan:
Well, it ain’t the 70s and 80s anymore. Back then you used to snort the Gay off the toilet seat in Studio (18)54.
You gotta get with the times …
PWL
Yes, we should allow people who like to play dress-up dictate how this country should be run…boy, is the Dumbing-Down in full progress here…
‘Course, W. was the prototype of these people, with his strutting around in a flight suit, like he was starring in “Top Gun”…