Jeffrey Goldberg has a truly staggering story up at The Atlantic (archive.is link – no paywall) about how he was accidentally included in a Signal chat with multiple Trump administration officials, including Vice President Vance. This chat was planning strikes against the Houthis. You’d think we’d be used to this sort of gold-plated dumbfuckery by now, but no. Here’s the moment when Goldberg realized he wasn’t being punked:
According to the lengthy Hegseth text, the first detonations in Yemen would be felt two hours hence, at 1:45 p.m. eastern time. So I waited in my car in a supermarket parking lot. If this Signal chat was real, I reasoned, Houthi targets would soon be bombed. At about 1:55, I checked X and searched Yemen. Explosions were then being heard across Sanaa, the capital city.
I went back to the Signal channel. At 1:48, “Michael Waltz” had provided the group an update. Again, I won’t quote from this text, except to note that he described the operation as an “amazing job.” A few minutes later, “John Ratcliffe” wrote, “A good start.” Not long after, Waltz responded with three emoji: a fist, an American flag, and fire. Others soon joined in, including “MAR,” who wrote, “Good Job Pete and your team!!,” and “Susie Wiles,” who texted, “Kudos to all – most particularly those in theater and CENTCOM! Really great. God bless.” “Steve Witkoff” responded with five emoji: two hands-praying, a flexed bicep, and two American flags. “TG” responded, “Great work and effects!”
I’m amazed that Witkoff restricted himself to a mere five emoji (and glad that he didn’t include the cry-laughing face). For what it’s worth — admittedly not much, other than that Trump might get to hear of it and be mad about it — Vance was not really on board with the whole plan:
At this point, a fascinating policy discussion commenced. The account labeled “JD Vance” responded at 8:16: “Team, I am out for the day doing an economic event in Michigan. But I think we are making a mistake.” (Vance was indeed in Michigan that day.) The Vance account goes on to state, “3 percent of US trade runs through the suez. 40 percent of European trade does. There is a real risk that the public doesn’t understand this or why it’s necessary. The strongest reason to do this is, as POTUS said, to send a message.”
The Vance account then goes on to make a noteworthy statement, considering that the vice president has not deviated publicly from Trump’s position on virtually any issue. “I am not sure the president is aware how inconsistent this is with his message on Europe right now. There’s a further risk that we see a moderate to severe spike in oil prices. I am willing to support the consensus of the team and keep these concerns to myself. But there is a strong argument for delaying this a month, doing the messaging work on why this matters, seeing where the economy is, etc.”
Everything they do is a shocking embarrassment. I can’t really bring myself to laugh at these people this time around — especially given the fact that Trump is apparently babbling about annexing Greenland as I type this. However, if this had happened to me, I’d have posted the most vile, haunting pornographic images I could find to that group chat. Missed opportunity to send some gaping assholes some gaping assholes, Mr. Goldberg.
Open thread for anything except your military strike plans, as I’m duly swamped.
Daddy’s Home, and He Just Texted You His War PlansPost + Comments (229)
