Life as an iconic hairdo isn’t as glamorous as media depictions would have you believe. Take the sad case of the self-contained hair-pod that resides on the noggin of the third Mrs. Gingrich.
If you only knew what those titanium tresses have had to endure. Crushing ennui brought on by endless rubber-chicken circuit events. Listening to the same tired stump speech and wondering dimly who this “Saul Alinsky” person is (Emmanuel Goldstein maybe?).
Rope-line encounters with supporters sporting hideous, tightly permed follicular fortresses reeking of Walmart “Great Value” brand conditioner. Stale hotel rooms with Fox & Friends blaring in the background and cheap Conair blow-dryers affixed inconveniently to the bathroom wall. And then of course there’s…him.
Mrs. Gingrich’s hair has had quite enough, thank you, and she hopes last night’s substandard performance by the spouse of her owner will finally put an end to this absurdity so they can return to Fairfax County and the tender ministrations of Salon de Paris and Mr. Pierre’s miraculous keratin treatments.
The end. (Please consider this an open thread.)
[X-POSTED at Rumproast]
RosiesDad
Her hair gives my children nightmares.
Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN)
Man, the Indian battling lineup has cratered the last several years, save for that World Cup win. Sehwag/Tendulkar/Laxman/Dravid look ancient and useless in the crease.
russell
there’s something about mary
FFrank
I’m calling it now. NEWT wins FL because no REAL Republican watches the debates. And those that are voting in FL are going for NOT ROMNEY. And the Santorum is spread too thinly and drying out to act as a lube to slide it in and win the FL race.
Michele Bachman is kicking herself right now ;-).
Cermet
No matter how the race goes, its a win for Obama. Rommy really never had to worry – money buys all in a thug election.
amk
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): Well, The yung’uns aren’t something to write home about either. These players have become jaded with too much cricket shite all through the year.
DanielX
Oooh, snap! You have to admit that hair is absolutely amazing, though. Forget airbags if she’s ever in a car accident, that ‘do looks like you couldn’t muss it with a cruise missile.
flukebucket
Just heard Jake Tapper say on ABC that Obama could not run on his accomplishments because he had not had any and the few things that he had gotten done were not popular with the people. I guess that is the way the media will frame the election going forward.
c u n d gulag
Not so fast!
She won’t be off our radar screens anytime soon.
That hair-do wasn’t exactly made using “stealth” technology.
PING!
geg6
Oh, Betty! For this post alone, if for nothing else, you are a great addition to BJ.
That hair! My dawg! And can someone please tell me why a woman who is probably at least a decade younger than me chooses to look at least a decade older than me?
Linda Featheringill
@flukebucket:
Sorry, Jake. I had to google you to find out who you are. On the other hand, I know who Barack Obama is.
And BTW, who is this Brewer broad that people are talking about?
:-)
spartacus
For some reason, I especially like the integrated-visor look in pic #3.
I think the hair is counting on having Lincoln-bedroom-invitation privileges, so I’d say it’s all too early to call.
vernonlee
So now that song will be stuck in my head for hours.
BTW, not to be catty (er, well maybe no more catty than necessary), I was surprised to learn she’s 46. So @geg6: yeah.
Zandar
Callista Gingrich.
Because hair should have a damage reduction value.
amk
@flukebucket: when has tapper, the tool, ever got anything right ?
Scott
@flukebucket:
Jake Tapper should spend more time reading stuff on the Internet instead of just googling his own name over and over.
Also kinda brings up the questions of what Romney or Newt have accomplished. Or, for that matter, what Tapper has accomplished.
amk
gopolitico’s simon: Rethug debates make Obama look good.
When even your own shill gives up on ya…..
Davis X. Machina
@flukebucket: Tapper must be reading DemocraticUnderground.com…..
amk
@amk: TG at least one got the pun. :)
jeffreyw
After John went all in for Mexican last night this had to happen.
Raven
@jeffreyw: 500 por favor
harlana
Betty, absolutely love it!
btw, the braindead question about who would be the best first lady, i missed part of his response, did Newt say any of his 3 wives??
harlana
@vernonlee: so was i, i think life with Newt takes its toll; i believe Jan Brewer is 83.
kdaug
@amk: I saw what you did there.
Newt is Harcourt Fenton Mudd without the mustache.
gravie
The hair! The hair! (And I love the great pix of its tour of Tampa…)
SensesFail
Great post, Betty!
Privatize the Profits! Socialize the Costs!
Yes, Callista has revolutionized modern Republican hair as we know it.
Could her secret be from that famous scene from the movie “There’s Something About Mary”…?
Birthmarker
Love your post title too! The whole thing is hilarious!
burnspbesq
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN):
If it’s not one thing it’s another. Ben Hilfenhaus did a pretty good Brooks Robinson impression to take the sixth wicket two overs before the close of play.
burnspbesq
The FMPs are a nice touch.
Persia
Dying laughing. It’s hard to be The Hair.
artem1s
loving your posts. glad to have you at BJ!
Elizabelle
Brilliant post.
You are t(hair).
@flukebucket:
Winced at Tapper last night. So not true; he said it and then segment ended.
The Other Bob
I am thinking that that her hair and feet weren’t the two body parts Newt married Calista for.
JenJen
TRESemmé Mucho?? That is genius.
Look out DougJ, there’s a new lyrical pun master in town!
maya
Hummm. Saul Alinski? Could he be thinking of Sheldon Adelson IDF sniper fanboy and BFF (Best Financial Friend)?
Sean
Do we really have to pass the time mocking the candidates’ wives’ looks? Isn’t there enough to be mocked in the views of the actual candidates?
schrodinger's cat
@Tissue Thin Pseudonym (JMN): They should just give it up and stop playing cricket. Losers.
schrodinger's cat
@Persia: I wonder how much hair spray, that helmet needs?
NobodySpecial
@schrodinger’s cat: Hair spray, hell, I’m thinking shellac.
And I wonder how it compares to Kevlar helmets in bullet penetration tests?
Jay in Oregon
@harlana:
Haven’t you heard? boingboing.net/2012/01/22/newt-2012-sticker-america-i.html
trollhattan
I’m thinking Callista rides a Ducati and isn’t required to wear a Bell. An amazing…assemblage.
jimPortlandOR
just a day ago, my very conservative older sis and talked about the hair lady. She called it an NFL or NHL helmet. This from someone who hasn’t watched any non-Fox news in at least 20 years – and her Rush-listening hubby thinks the hair is a cast-iron replica of somebody.
jl
Oh, third Mrs. Gingrich? When I first saw the pix, I thought we were talking the Trump-do here.
But I didn’t notice the lady shoes.
Stillwater
Awesome post, Betty. Personally, I’d very much like to see even further explorations into the inner life of hair.
Betty Cracker
@jl: Now, now. Mrs. G3 apparently has multiple hairs growing out of separate follicles. I think Trump gravitates toward long-haired blondes so he can extract snarls of their hair from the shower drain and slap it onto his bald pate!
psychobroad
The Hair looks so forlorn, can’t you add a hobo stick/bundle to it, Betty?
Kilkee
Late in the game, I think that Calista is a big drag on Newt in the unlikely event he gets the nom. Zillions of women will go to the polls and say “Ain’t makin’ that home-breakin’ be-ooch the First Freakin Lady…..”
Ronzoni Rigatoni
@gravie: Nah, TPA doesn’t have that bridge, and Rt. 95 is across the state. Hasta be JAX