This is what happens when I do not furminate Tunch for a week:
As I was finishing, I heard a gunshot, and discovered that my HEPA had just said to hell with it all.
*** Update ***
As requested, proof of life:
Rosie is not in the picture because when I read the comment asking for proof of life, I got up from my desk, took two paces, remembered I forgot my iphone, stopped and stepped backwards to get it, and stepped on Rosie’s foot, causing her to yelp and then bite my heel. The dog literally follows me around the house everywhere I go, so this happens every now and then. I can’t count the number of times I have stopped quickly and feel her wet nose on the back of my leg because I caught her off guard.
Valdivia
after seeing that we need a proof of life
MariedeGournay
Plant that in the backyard and you might grow another Tunch and a half.
The Dangerman
Oh, dear, Tunch finally exploded. The Big Bang is explained by the Higgs Bosun; this not so big of a bang is explained by tuna.
maryQ
I’m at a conference today, one I really like and look forward to, and the conference organizer announced that the keynote speaker for our next meeting will be Bobo. My brain did what your Hepa filter did.
I figure if I approach the conference with some Hyakian modesty, and I remember that Liberals are to blame for Republicans being so crazy, I should be able to get through it.
Valdivia
Thanks, that’s what I call a life! :)
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Waitacottonpickinminute! Doesn’t the protocol for Proof of Life require a picture of the daily paper with today’s date clearly readable?
I’m with The Dangerman. Tunch exploded and now there’s a conspiracy and a cover up using a file picture.
Although, if Tunch exploded in WV, shouldn’t I have heard the boom here in South PA?
Constance
I’ve developed a really attractive shuffle in my small house in order to avoid stepping on animals. It’s particularly bad in the kitchen where The Muffin is almost always directly behind me and I would step on her three or four times a day if I didn’t shuffle around like some damned aged crone. I am an aged crone but don’t normally show it physically. I can’t get her to understand that if I fall over her and break a hip she is out of cat food.
Scott Adams (Dilbert) calls his cats “The Assassins” because they hang around at the top of the stairs hoping to trip him.
Mine hang out in the kitchen, in doorways and in any narrow walkway.
Pen
Is it wrong that when I first saw that top photo my thought was “What the hell does Tunch have to do with an aerial bomb drop?”?
He planning a kitty uprising on us or something?
Yutsano
Husbandly duty performed. And it’s either a kitten in pupa stage or a tribble.
Violet
My goodness, Tunch is a big kitty! Lily is lovely, as always. Rosie loves you and is such a lucky girl that you found her.
Alison
@maryQ: You should bring him a gift: a little stuffed dog wearing a name tag that reads “Moral Hazard”.
Yutsano
California tells wingnuts to suck its balls.
redshirt
Tunch eatz Goodyear Blimpz
PeakVT
Second photo would be perfect caption fodder if Tunch was looking right at Lily.
WaterGirl
I was checking the doors just now, before going to bed, and I noticed something that seemed odd. I have a little volunteer redbud tree that’s about 6-8 inches tall, and it was being pushed over in an odd way. Could that be where the dryer vent is? No, that’s on the other side of the house. I was really perplexed for a moment.
Then I realized. A breeze. It’s been so god awful hot for so long that walking feels like swimming through a hot oven, and I didn’t even recognize a breeze when I saw it.
This gives me hope for tomorrow, when we are supposed to get a storm that will bring the heat down to 90 or so.
Cap'n Magic
The Texas 2012 GOP Platform be here. Choice cuts:
suzanne
Maybe found animals are just more annoying. My Zelda, who I rescued off my mother’s roof as a scrawny kitten and who I allowed to stay provided she assassinate my scorpion invaders, is about the most irritating non-Republican creature in the known universe. She climbs on me in my sleep, snores in my ear, does that annoying biting-without-biting thing, throws claws, etc. FUCK. AND I found two scorpions last week, so she’s slacking. Wy do I allow her to stay? Because I am a SUCKER.
Narcissus
@Cap’n Magic:
no shit
PeakVT
@Cap’n Magic: Those choice cuts belong in the dumpster out back.
A Squirrel
Dude, seriously…cut back on feeding that cat. He’s fucking gorgeous, but he will likely not be a long-lived cat at that weight. I know he’s naturally big but still, get a couple pounds off that fucker. For your sake, ’cause I know you care.
amk
When I saw the first pic, I thought ‘hey, cole is into white cotton candy’.
And you cannot shave away the fat, john. You just can’t.
Joseph Nobles
Romans 13:5-7:
Is Obamacare a tax or ain’t it, Christian wingnuts? And that’s President Obama from now on, right?
Sometimes holding a Bachelor of Art in Bible comes in right handy on the Facebook.
Comradde PhysioProffe
AND I found two scorpions last week, so she’s slacking.
Cats are supposed to fucken kill scorpions????
GxB
With that top pic all I could think was “I wonder why Slim Pickins isn’t riding that bomb through the clouds.” Damn my lack of Photoshop skills.
The Dangerman
@Yutsano:
Damn straight; those strawberries aren’t going to pick themselves.
NotMax
For those who might have missed watching “A Face in the Crowd” the other day, TCM is substituting its regular programming on the night of July 18 with films starring Andy Griffith, so you get a 2nd chance.
suzanne
@Comradde PhysioProffe:
Yes. Cats are known for being the best anti-scorpion weapon in one’s arsenal. The cat’s reflexes are quick enough and they’re furry enough that they avoid the stings. And I live in a scorpion path, and during the summer, the fuckers love to come in the house. Usually, the cats hunt the little assholes and leave me the corpses, but she’s been resting on her laurels. DAMN CAT.
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
@Cap’n Magic: Re: Texas GOP Platform. I believe they overlooked the key plank of ensuring our precious bodily fluids are not sapped and impurified.
Purity of Essence.
rikyrah
once again, your pet pics creep me out
kideni
I love the Tunch outline in the first pic — it’s like a Lascaux painting with cat fur.
Our new resident feline is a small half-Persian ginger tabby, so he blends into the hardwood floors dangerously well.
NotMax
Pardon the comment whoring, but for those who might not have seen it on a much earlier thread and could use a cheap snicker, some results from running Romney’s name through an anagram generator:
https://balloon-juice.com/2012/07/06/open-thread-1376/#comment-3421153
Mnemosyne (iPhone)
Checking in from Chicago — my father-in-law’s wake is tomorrow and the funeral is Monday. If I can manage to steer G and his sister through the next couple of days without a screaming fight ensuing, I’ll feel like I did my job.
Also, too, it amuses me way too much that my 19-year-old nephew has decided to grow a Malcolm X beard, but I would not bruise his dignity for the world.
Jewish Steel
Mercy. It’s over. Walked the dogs and I’m not drenched with sweat.
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): My mum and her brother had a few set-tos as they watched their younger brother die. I had to play diplomat for a while. I’m an only child; sibling relationships are a mystery to me.
Yutsano
@The Dangerman: Vegetable garden of the nation knows the right thing is import ag experts who work their asses off. HOOCODANODE??
Omnes Omnibus
@Jewish Steel: Windows are open here in Mad-town.
Jewish Steel
@Omnes Omnibus: Our honeymoon in your hood was fabulous. We didn’t do anything you or anyone else recommended. We did have some amazing meals and just kind of wandered around and recovered from the wedding. We would be good and fat if we lived there.
A surprise: Traffic. Your town gets kind of thronged with cars.
John Weiss
@maryQ: Bobo! Take my advice: get drunk and stay at your hotel. Some things can do bad things to your mental state.
John Weiss
@Cap’n Magic: If those are choice cuts, I’m off beef.
Actually, though the politics aren’t the reason I left Texas, my home for most of my life, I’m pretty glad that the wife and I moved to SW Oregon. There are plenty of crazies here, but not that crazy. At least most of ’em.
Omnes Omnibus
@Jewish Steel: 1. Ignoring advice and doing your own thing was probably the best thing you could have done.
2. The lakes and the isthmus just fuck the living hell out of any kind of normal traffic flow. But we have bike trails.
Omnes Omnibus
Oops, wrong thread.
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: I highly encourage people to explore Seattle on their own with the requirement that they report what they find back. This city is full of weird and quirky unexpected gems that even natives are unaware of.
Dee Loralei
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): I was sorry to hear about your Father-in-Law, every time I read a thread earlier this week, it was mostly dead, so I didn’t pass on my condolences then. But know that you and G have them.
I made homemade macaroni tonight for a going away party. ( Got an electric pasta maker/extruder for my recent big birthday.) Tossed it with spicy Italian sausage, roasted red,yellow and orange bell peppers and mushrooms, garlic and fresh herbs.
I also made a frozen Cherry Tortoni. ( which is an Italian meringue and whipped cream mousse thang, with macerated fresh cherries, toasted almonds and ground up macaroons mixed in.) I froze them in individual cupcake cups. Next time, I think I might invent a Neopolitan Tortoni, with Choc. Macaroons, pistachios and cherries.
It was pretty sad though, my OFA Neighborhood Team Leader and her husband are moving to Olympia, WA. for a job. And we’re really going to miss her organizational abilities and her cheerfulness during the home stretch of this election.
Anybody want her job?
JCT
I haven’t had the guts to go for the full scale furminator on my little rescues because I fear being overwhelmed by hair.
Speaking of cats we are on day 2 of the first stage of pet Brady Bunch and we seem to have reached some degree of equilibrium . The big boy cat, Mango, just arrived from NYC to join my two rescue girls. He is mostly lying around looking like he expects them to wait on him. The older girl seems OK but the baby is sad and hissing at him. Lucky there is enough room in the trailer for retreat .
But the look on baby Robyn’s face when she found big Mango stoned on catnip and draped across her favorite toy was pretty pathetic.
Can’t wait for the beagles to arrive. On second thought, maybe I can….
Omnes Omnibus
@Yutsano: Someday, I intend to do a tour of Seattle based on places named in Mark Lindquist’s Nevermind Nirvana.
burnspbesq
@Yutsano:
The Seattle Chocolates factory store. Bring money and insulin. Lots of both.
Anne Laurie
@Jewish Steel:
I have been the eldest of six for half a century now, and take it from me: about the only advantage of having siblings is that one of the other kids decided to be The Responsible One as our mother got too old to look after herself.
It’s probably too late to encourage your parents to follow my old man’s path and drop dead without warning and before Social Security kicked in, though.
If I can’t do that (and I’ve promised the Spousal Unit I’ll outlive him, because I cope with loss better) I may have to try my mother-in-law’s tactic: Find a sweet, if none too bright, guy from a younger generation for my second husband…
burnspbesq
You’ve got to be kidding me, WP. The stuff that diabetics shoot up triggers the moderation filter? For real?
ulee
I think Rosie is a manifestation of Cole’s mind, the equivalent of John Shooter from Secret Window, Secret Garden. Cole has constucted elaborate scenarios and doctored pics to convince himself that he found this Jack Russell lost on the road, brought her home and is now being tormented by her misbehavior. It is your own misbehavior, Cole, and now you are running out of time. No pic of Rosie because she dogged you, bit you, and ran off? Not believable.
Steeplejack
@Yutsano:
My brother and his partner are in Seattle right now. What should they do, where should they eat? They’re there until Thursday night.
danielx
I for one welcome our new feline overlords….TUUUNCH!
Although one of ours – the one that looks like Tunch’s elder brother with long fur – is starting to worry me. He prefers to be outside when it’s 102 degrees, although he does move from shady spot to shady spot as the day goes on. Why a long haired cat would prefer to be outside in this weather is beyond me, but…hey, he’s fifteen years old now, he can do what he wants.
Zoey the black cat with a tiny white bib is very sensible. She goes out in the morning and pretends to be a mighty huntress for about a half hour, then comes in and lies underneath the ceiling AC vent in the kitchen. Then spends the rest of the day under a bed unless someone lies down on it, in which case she’s on the bed next to that person, preferably with her furry ass shoved up against him or her.
Question for y’all – maybe it’s just that I’m tired all the time anyway right now, but I’m going out as little as possible right now, like to the grocery and to water flowers and whatnot. But – even when I’m inside I’m feeling semi-exhausted and wasted just knowing how hot it is outside and that eventually I’ll have to go out in it. Is this normal, or am I finally going around the bend and down the rabbit hole?
danielx
@Steeplejack:
Ray’s Boathouse by all means. Food is to die for and wine list is teh awesome.
MikeJ
@Steeplejack: Go to the Ballard locks. There’s a fish ladder there and you can see the tens of thousands of salmon heading into Lake Washington right now. Then head over to Ivar’s Salmon House and eat their brethren in a building that looks like a native long house.
Jewish Steel
@Anne Laurie:
I can recommend your MIL’s tactic. Although the Princess Steel is plenty bright.
The again, how bright can she be stuck with a pisher like myself…
@MikeJ: Part of my daily walk with the hound when I liver there. I miss it still.
Comrade Luke
@Steeplejack:
El Gaucho. There’s one in Seattle and another in Bellevue.
Best steak in the city.
cxs
@Steeplejack: Vito’s for happy hour 7 days a week. The Arboretum. Seattle Asian Art Museum and Volunteer Park.
Steeplejack
@danielx, @MikeJ:
Recommendations forwarded.
I love Seattle, but I haven’t been there in, oh, 20 years. Yikes!
Yutsano
@Steeplejack: As corny as it sounds, they should definitely go up the Needle. For a tourist trap it’s actually a fun place. Of course they should do Pike Place Market, because it really is a fun place not only to browse for food and trinkets but also to people watch. For food I’d definitely recommend Sazerac where we had the meet-up. And ride a ferry to Bainbridge Island, the little town right there is very cute. But again, the best thing they could do is get lost and discover things and places.
@MikeJ: Big second on the Ivar’s. Really good food and a longstanding Northwest tradition.
cxs
@MikeJ: I was going to say the Locks too! My Mom’s go to recommendation.
Liberty60
@A Squirrel:
What Tunch’s friends say to him.
Omnes Omnibus
@Jewish Steel:
Well, she must be kind…
Steeplejack
@Comrade Luke, @cxs:
Thanks.
mac
@Steeplejack: crepes for brunch.
Saley’s is worth the walk. Or go to the creperie in the convention center and eat in Freeway Park.
Make sure to watch a sunset from the sculpture park. In fact the whole waterfront is best at sunset.
Also: go see wilderness. Mt Ranier or Olympic National Forest or San Juan Islands.
suzanne
@Yutsano: My mom is from Seattle, and whenever we’d go back to visit, she’d take me to Ivar’s. Apparently my grandfather was friends with Ivar in college, so they went all the time. It’s the kind of seafood my vegetarianism lapses for.
suzanne
I met a Neapolitan Mastiff last night. WANT.
Steeplejack
Thanks, all. I’m fading, but I’ll check back in the morning.
Omnes Omnibus
@Steeplejack: A trip to Victoria BC by ferry is cool if they have passports with them.
MikeJ
@mac: For brunch, take the ferry to Bainbridge, then walk < 1 mile to Cafe Nola. You can also rent bikes or scooters right by the ferry dock on Bainbridge if you want to poke around the island a little more. There's a vineyard or two that are worth checking out, but aren't within walking distance.
One of the best views of Seattle is from the ferry, and it's pretty cheap if you don't take a car.
Yutsano
@suzanne: For a start as a seafood shack it definitely exploded into a Northwest phenomenon. And it really is wonderful food, definitely worth lapsing for!
BillinGlendaleCA
@Yutsano: Is the Salmon House on Lake Union? If so, I took my gf there for Sunday brunch(I think I took the wife there too, the one time we were up there). Really good eats.
cckids
@Comradde PhysioProffe:
Mine don’t kill them, they just find them for me. Took me about a week after moving into this house to discover that any time 2 of the cats are gathered & staring, it is a scorpion. They leave it to me to kill & dispose of it, though.
asiangrrlMN
TUUUUUUUNCHIE! God, I adore that cat. Thanks, Yutsy, for doing your husbandly duty!
@Cap’n Magic: Apparently, the opposition to higher order thinking was a mistake. The rest of it? GOLD STANDARD, BAY-BEEEE!
@Mnemosyne (iPhone): Family drama is hard – especially when it’s not even your family. Hugs.
Yutsano
@BillinGlendaleCA: That’d be it. We might have to talk meet-up again here soon. CaseyL will eat their entire stock of oysters all on her own!
cckids
@Mnemosyne (iPhone):
I know. My oldest niece, when she turned 16, dyed some of her hair purple, & expected to get outrage & gasps of horror when she came to visit her aunts. She got Oohs & aws, “how cute”, etc. I think we disappointed her. She was trying to be such a rebel, in her quiet little way.
Ash Can
There. Now how difficult was that?
Omnes Omnibus
@Ash Can: Look, we were all dancing around it. I am not sure if we should thank you or be horrified that you defied social convention to say what was on everyone’s mind.
asiangrrlMN
@Omnes Omnibus:
@Ash Can:
Stop being so meeeeean to Tunchie!
Omnes Omnibus
@asiangrrlMN: I am not criticizing the cat; the dude needs to do what he needs to do, but Cole can stop lying about it.
amk
@Ash Can: you win the thread.
Yutsano
@Omnes Omnibus: The Tunch abides.
@asiangrrlMN: Yell at JC. Obviously he is neglecting teh TunchKitteh.
amk
I wonder peeps here would even give a fuck about cole if not for that fat cat.
Little Boots
Hey, Omnes.
Little Boots
and asian grrl. this place is alive tonight.
Little Boots
and who wouldn’t love John Cole?
okay, the fat cat helps.
a lot.
Ash Can
@Omnes Omnibus: This is Balloon Juice. There is no social convention here.
@asiangrrlMN: I love Tunch to pieces. It’s just that he’s so round that it’s a good thing he has an odd-colored tail so one can tell his back from his front.
Little Boots
oh, show the hell up you bastards.
this ain’t eschaton.
Ash Can
@amk: The naked-mopping bit won him a shit-ton of points, and he didn’t need Tunch for it.
Yutsano
@Ash Can: One takes one’s advantage when one can.
Little Boots
signs of life.
MikeJ
http://alicublog.blogspot.com/
Omnes Omnibus
@MikeJ: Holy shit, that is funny.
Little Boots
@MikeJ: ‘
they got this.
Ash Can
@amk: And thank you, but I’m obviously a rank amateur compared to Ben LaBolt (as quoted above by MikeJ).
@MikeJ: That’s outstanding.
Little Boots
sometimes the internets are weird.
Yutsano
@MikeJ: Iz our Obama folks learning?
Little Boots
@Yutsano:
yes, finally.
MikeJ
@Yutsano: There’s really no such thing as a polite response to “omg ur fonts iz soçialist”.
Little Boots
@MikeJ:
if only that were the question.
Omnes Omnibus
@MikeJ: “Fuck you” works. Oh, you said polite, not appropriate. Never mind.
Little Boots
@Omnes Omnibus:
not invariably.
Little Boots
seriously? I get the last word.
although being 100 is kinda cool? but still.
Little Boots
well, if it is the last word:
John, you used to show up more, and it was pretty awesome.
and Omnes, where the hell are you? you don’t need to hide. what is this deal?
BillinGlendaleCA
@Omnes Omnibus: “Fuck you, sir” might be considered polite, no?
Yutsano
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Well it’s rather Marine-like…
Little Boots
see, people are awake. I bet Omnes is awake.
Triassic Sands
I have three cats, two long-hair and one short and the amount of hair that comes off those cats is truly unbelievable. One of the long-hairs is a very small female, who looks huge in the winter and tiny at this time of year — looking at pictures from winter and summer it would be hard to tell it’s the same cat.
However, for shedding, I think short-hairs are the champions (like Tunch). At least, with my cats, the coat on the short-hair seems much denser and when I vacuum (three times a day in July) it is her hair that fills the vacuum cleaner’s tank. And that is with daily brushing. I don’t know where all the hair comes from — it’s like they sneak another half dozen cats in when I’m asleep and they all sit around pulling out each other’s hair — but there aren’t any bald spots, not even anything that looks thin. Amazing.
Yutsano
@Triassic Sands: You just made me feel better. My little girl’s mane is looking thinner and I thought she was scratching it out again. Turns out it’s not fleas, just weather.
amk
@Ash Can: Yes, that was a hilarious episode but he as drunk as a skunk, so doesn’t count.
Little Boots
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCca5mPMp9A&feature=related
Little Boots
oh it worked.
Little Boots
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D3udbawA1Q
The Pale Scot
Terrier Love. Ain’t it Grand!
Maude
Tunch is floofy.
bemused
@danielx:
Cats love to bask in the sun but your kitty is a senior citizen now and is just trying to warm up his old bones. Our kitty who lived to 19 would plop down right in front of the fireplace. We would have to move her away from the heat eventually so she wouldn’t burst into flames.
quannlace
Damn, John. Spin that cat-wool and you could knit some nice cashmere sweaters.
Patricia Kayden
Tunch is cute as hell, but way too fat!! Kitty diet needed or he’ll explode all over your house.