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You are here: Home / Politics / I get mail

I get mail

by Betty Cracker|  July 9, 201210:08 pm| 115 Comments

This post is in: Politics, Assholes, General Stupidity

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It occurs to me that some of you may not have deranged relatives who forward absurd anti-Obama emails. It also occurs to me that it would be selfish to hog all the wingnutty goodness, so here’s an excerpt of an email forward that landed in my inbox last week:

Forwarded as received, but without comment, please do the same. Yes, he told us in advance what he planned to do. Few were listening.

The following is a narrative taken from a 2008 Sunday morning televised “Meet The Press.”

From Sunday’s 07 Sept. 2008, 11:48:04 EST, Televised “Meet the Press” the then
Senator Obama was asked about his stance on the American Flag.

General Bill Ginn, USAF (ret.), asked Obama to explain WHY he doesn’t follow
protocol when the National Anthem is played.

‘Senator’ Obama replied: “As I’ve said about the flag pin, I don’t want to be perceived as taking
sides…..” “There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression….” “The anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air, and all that sort of thing.”

(ARE YOU READY FOR THIS???)

Obama continued:, “The National Anthem should be ‘swapped’ for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song ‘I’d Like To Teach the World To Sing.’ If that were our anthem, then I might salute it. In my opinion, we should consider reinventing our National Anthem as well as ‘redesign’ our Flag to better offer our enemies hope and love. It’s my intention, if elected, to
Disarm America to the level of acceptance to our Middle East Brethren. If we, as a Nation of warring people, conduct ourselves like the nations of Islam, where peace prevails – – – perhaps a
state or period of mutual accord could exist between our governments ……”

“When I become President, I will seek a pact of agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity, and a freedom from disquieting oppressive thoughts . We as a Nation, have placed upon the nations of Islam, an unfair injustice, which is WHY my wife disrespects the Flag, and she and I have attended several flag burning ceremonies in the past.”

[snip]

My wife and I look forward to becoming our Country’s First black Family. Indeed, CHANGE is about to overwhelm the United States of America.”

EVERYONE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA NEEDS TO READ THIS, KEEP IT GOING ! ! SAVE AMERICA BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE ! !

If you go to Snopes.com (which I always advise the forwarders and everyone cc’d to do prior to hitting “send” — to no avail), you’ll find that the absurd dialogue attributed to President Obama was from a satirical piece, a thing that should be immediately obvious to any sentient creature. But the people who forward emails like this to their entire contact list apparently believe it is plausible that then-candidate Obama went on Meet the Press and:

1) Proposed changing the national anthem to “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”
2) Advocated disarming the US to please “our Middle Eastern Brethren”
3) Admitted attending flag-burning ceremonies with the future First Lady
4) Threatened to overwhelm America with blackity-black-black-oogity-boogity prior to the 2008 election.

Here’s the thing for all those who are — as I often am — tempted to assume the 27% comprises only mumbling old coots who spend all day in urine-stained Barcoloungers watching Fox News and cleaning replica Civil War rifles: People who are gullible enough to find that email plausible aren’t necessarily drooling morons, at least about ALL topics.

They rotate your tires. They vaccinate your children. They process your cable bills. And they vote. Sweet dreams!

[X-posted at Rumproast]
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Reader Interactions

115Comments

  1. 1.

    Svensker

    July 9, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    My beloved brother has become one of Those People. He’s going right for the Barcalounger.

    It breaks my heart.

  2. 2.

    Mnemosyne (iPhone)

    July 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    My mom sends me those e-mails all the damn time. Fortunately, she has never voted in her life (because then the government can TRACK YOU!) so it’s pretty inconsequential.

  3. 3.

    burnspbesq

    July 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm

    People believe all kinds of crazy shit. There are commenters on this very blog who think that Cardinal Dolan speaks for a majority of American Catholics.

    Go figure.

  4. 4.

    Gus

    July 9, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    I haven’t had a similar email sent to me since my dad died, god rest his soul. After I sent him Snopes links debunking the first half dozen or so, he started sending them to me asking if they were true. They never were, but I was happy to debunk them. My dad was a wonderful man, but at the end of his life he started watching Fox News. That stuff rots the brain.

  5. 5.

    David Koch

    July 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm

    Simply reply that Romney is an abortion profiteer who belongs to a cult that perverts Jesus.

  6. 6.

    CW in LA

    July 9, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    @Mnemosyne (iPhone): My Grandfather lived to the age of 88 and never voted for the same reason. My question: How can we help foster this belief that voting allows The Government to Track You among the wingnutterati?

  7. 7.

    Mike S.

    July 9, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    why go to snopes when you can get the transcript itself from msnbc.com?

    oh, and Obama wasn’t even on the show on the date in question.

  8. 8.

    dmsilev

    July 9, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    To Homo Wingnuttus, Snopes is a tainted source. In this case, since they’ve helpfully provided an exact show and date, send them to the official transcript, in which Barack Obama isn’t even a guest. Joe Biden is. And the word ‘anthem’ appears precisely zero times in that transcript.

    Then ask your correspondent whether he or she trusts some random email from their cousin more or less than an official transcript from the show.

  9. 9.

    burnspbesq

    July 9, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    Also from the department of “go figure:” 2011 was the second biggest fundraising year in Penn State history, bettered only by a year in which one donor gave $88 million.

    http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/8144317/penn-state-nittany-lions-say-donations-second-highest-school-history

  10. 10.

    dr. bloor

    July 9, 2012 at 10:19 pm

    @David Koch: This. These are people whose central nervous system will respond only to shock-jock rhetoric and the-next-outrage reality teevee. Don’t bother with facts; raise the stakes.

  11. 11.

    jrg

    July 9, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    @burnspbesq: That would be because when you tithe, you pay his living expenses.

    WRT email spam, there’s some really funny nonsense out there that was supposedly sent out by Bill Cosby. He’s got a statement on his website about it.

    How fucking hard is it to google a couple of words to see if you’re reading complete bullshit? Right wingers are such morons.

  12. 12.

    Yutsano

    July 9, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    I believe there is intelligent life in the universe. And they are smart enough to stay at a safe distance. I guess that could be kooky in the right circles.

  13. 13.

    General Stuck

    July 9, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    Crazy mean people want to hear crazy mean things. The world goes around, orbiting the sun and Milky Way. And probably will for a long time, but not longer than stupid people existing on planet earth.

  14. 14.

    Culture of Truth

    July 9, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    Dear cousin Ralph,

    Good to hear from you! I hope you and the dogs are doing well. I got your e-mail about President Obama. You remember when our grandmother turned 103 and sadly developed dementia and starting calling us by the names of her brothers who fought in World War One?

    She didn’t sound half as crazy as you do. Please seek help.

    Yours,
    Culture

  15. 15.

    burnspbesq

    July 9, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    The Biggest Wake in the History of Ottawa, otherwise known as the RIM annual shareholders’ meeting, is tomorrow. It’s likely to get really ugly when the shareholders are told that BlackBerry 10, the product that is supposedly going to save the company, is probably to miss its original ship date.

  16. 16.

    Rick Massimo

    July 9, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    I think the proper response to an e-mail like that is “Really? Barack Obama went on Meet the Freaking Press two months before the 2008 election and said he wouldn’t salute the National Anthem and wanted to change it to ‘I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing’ and NO ONE MENTIONED IT until now? In the two months between the time he supposedly said that and the election, John McCain never said anything about it? Sarah Palin never said anything about it? No one on Fox News said anything about it? Really?”

  17. 17.

    Culture of Truth

    July 9, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    ‘Senator’ Obama replied

    don’t fall for it! he was never in the senate! It’s a media hoax!

  18. 18.

    AliceBlue

    July 9, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    @Svensker:
    Same for my brother. He lives in Florida and is one of the small percentage of people who think Rick Scott is doing a helluva job.

    I don’t get cracked out e-mails from him, though. I think he knows what my response would be.

  19. 19.

    Bago

    July 9, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    By doing a tracert to the originating ip, displaying the dns resolution of their ISP and then sending a link to how the FBI can use nsl letters, communicating that all transactions over 1k go through the fed a clearinghouse/ logging mechanism, and then googling their name.

    That should be sufficient to scare an old person. 20 minute job.

  20. 20.

    Mr Stagger Lee

    July 9, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    O/T, but I think I have the official TeaParty/Republican theme song for the 2012 presidential campaign.

  21. 21.

    hells littlest angel

    July 9, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    As I recall it, Obama said he wanted to make the national anthem, “I’d Like To Buy the World a Coke.” That email is just bullshit, man!

  22. 22.

    burnspbesq

    July 9, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    At least 60 million people are going to vote for Mitt Romeny. “They’re all fucking morons” is a weak explanation.

  23. 23.

    joel hanes

    July 9, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    My dear [ insert relative’s name ]

    Most everything in the email you sent me is false.

    I imagine that whoever originally sent that
    misinformation to you had themselves received it
    from someone they trusted, and forwarded it in good
    faith, just as you have done.

    But now you know it’s not true, and you know
    that I know it’s not true. Please don’t send
    that particular piece to anyone else; I’d hate
    to start thinking of you as a deliberate liar.

    very seriously

    Joel

  24. 24.

    jrg

    July 9, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    @burnspbesq: If you believe an email like this, you’re a fucking moron.

    I can imagine reasons for supporting Romney that don’t involve severe brain damage, but I do not believe that anyone with an IQ over about 70 can read an email like this and not have the BS siren go off.

  25. 25.

    Another Bob

    July 9, 2012 at 10:32 pm

    I suspect that a lot of wing nuts don’t care all that much about whether their claims are literally true. They’re part of a religion, after all, and bullshit like that is the common mythology that binds them together. Spitefulness is their sacrament.

  26. 26.

    Cargo

    July 9, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    When I get those, I Reply All and debunk them hard, with multiple URLs. Not because the person will actually think for a second that the debunking is true, they’ve already made up their mind. But debunking hard means I’m not In the Tribe, and they’ll stop sending the mails. Also the reply all means others will usually be sympathetic.

    The truth of these is not important. Each one of them is a signal to see who else in their friends list hates the Nears as much as they do.

  27. 27.

    El Cid

    July 9, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    The interview didn’t have to really happen to be true. It’s true because it’s true in spirit, so all the ‘factualist’ denialists can save their breaths. It’s true because it’s the truth we know to be true.

    Just like with the Constitution. The real Constitution isn’t the one with all the “Articles” and sections and whatnot — it’s the Constitution in our heart which is the real originalist Constushun.

  28. 28.

    Bago

    July 9, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    If you want to get real nasty, you could geolocate their ip, use public databases to find an address, look up all of your government data. Now at the screamingly illegal end of the spectrum, you would use a Trojan to install a key logger, send a phish email, or install a logging proxy. If you have the time and cycles, you could try and brute force any encryption, but that is your last shot. Given that the NSA has an exabyte datacenter or two, your voting record is the least interesting data to investigate.

  29. 29.

    magurakurin

    July 9, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    @burnspbesq: so what’s your explanation then?

    I’ve thought about it, and considering what is before them, if anyone votes for Mitt Romney, they are a fucking moron.

  30. 30.

    Culture of Truth

    July 9, 2012 at 10:34 pm

    Dear cousin,

    I heard Obama wanted to make the national anthem “Kumbayah” [SPELING?] which is Kenyan for “black panther” (that last part may not be right..?) could you do some research on this and GET BACK to me??

    Thanks!1!

  31. 31.

    Bubblegum Tate

    July 9, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    @Gus:

    My dad was a wonderful man, but at the end of his life he started watching Fox News. That stuff rots the brain.

    That’s an all-too-common refrain, and as my parents get on in years, I worry that I might find myself singing it.

  32. 32.

    Cargo

    July 9, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    And yes, it’s always always about hating the nears. The most important phrase in that entire email is “My wife and I look forward to becoming our Country’s First black Family. Indeed, CHANGE is about to overwhelm the United States of America.” – a phrase that makes wingnuts piss their pants and angry enough to fly their private planes into IRS buildings.

  33. 33.

    Citizen Alan

    July 9, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    Betty,

    Your post is silent on the one important question I have: did you or did you not respond to this deluded relative and confront him over his lies. Because I am so, so tired of post that amount to “last week my dad/mom/uncle/whatever who only watches Fox News makes me so angry that I almost said something out loud!”

  34. 34.

    Narcissus

    July 9, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    @burnspbesq: Not really. Half the population is of less than average intelligence. There they are.

  35. 35.

    piratedan

    July 9, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    @burnspbesq: true, there are a fair number of functional sociopaths and narcissists too.. in addition to the casually cruel and some downright evil motherfuckers out there. Plus a few more folks that believe that being black and in charge is a sign of the apocalypse.

  36. 36.

    Kerry Reid

    July 9, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    @burnspbesq: No, but when you add the “disgusting racists” quotient…

  37. 37.

    jl

    July 9, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    My teabagger relatives are into UBL raid conspiracy theories, superduper highways from Mexico to Canada and the ‘Amero’, and selling the country to China.

    We should make a scrap book of our teapartying relatives, friends, and neighbors’ stories.

    Then what, I don’t know. Maybe beat it with a stick?

  38. 38.

    Bubblegum Tate

    July 9, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    @dmsilev:

    To Homo Wingnuttus, Snopes is a tainted source.

    This dynamic has only gotten worse, too: EVERYTHING outside of Fox News/wingnut blogs/wingnut talk radio is a tainted source. If you point wingnuts to anything other than those sources, you’ll just get a whole bunch of, “Yeah, right, why don’t you just go ahead and cite DNC talking points!”

  39. 39.

    General Stuck

    July 9, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    White House press secretary Jay Carney said Monday that President Obama would veto a full, across-the-board extension of the Bush tax cuts that included no tax increases on upper earners.

    “He would not support it. He would not sign that bill,” Carney told reporters. Pressed on whether not signing meant a presidential veto, Carney said it did.

    Put that in your pipe and smoke it Mr. Wingnut.

  40. 40.

    CW in LA

    July 9, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    @El Cid: The pisser is that the second half of your post is evidently just what Scalia & Co. believe.

  41. 41.

    gnomedad

    July 9, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    It’s not so much gullibility as indifference. They “know” Obama sux, so it’s more important for a story to make him look bad than for it to be true

  42. 42.

    El Cid

    July 9, 2012 at 10:38 pm

    @Culture of Truth: Are you Jonah Goldberg, and are you writing a new book? This is your bestest favoritest research technique, the one which helped you sell a lot of buks about how the real fatcysts are librul fatcysts.

  43. 43.

    burnspbesq

    July 9, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    @magurakurin:

    If you’re a white male with a net worth in excess of $5 million and an income in excess of $500K per year, voting for Mitt Romney is absolutely a rational act. You can expect to do far better under Romney than under Obama.

  44. 44.

    Tokyokie

    July 9, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    My winger aunt used to send me (and everybody else in her address book) those e-mails. When I changed ISPs, I didn’t give her my new e-mail address.

  45. 45.

    Heliopause

    July 9, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    the absurd dialogue attributed to President Obama was from a satirical piece

    That’s too bad, because I like this mythical politician better than any of the real ones I’ve run into lately.

  46. 46.

    El Cid

    July 9, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    @CW in LA: I know. The skill in being a ‘strict constructionist’ or ‘originalist’ is in knowing which parts are ‘real’ and which parts are fake and the result of modern misinterpretation, and which parts you have to make up because your understanding of the real but hidden parts means that the relativists who want to use original but unworthy parts aren’t smart enough to know the difference.

  47. 47.

    Gin & Tonic

    July 9, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    @magurakurin:

    I’ve thought about it, and considering what is before them, if anyone votes for Mitt Romney, they are a fucking moron.

    Not necessarily. They could be intelligent but sociopathic.

  48. 48.

    joel hanes

    July 9, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    “They’re all fucking morons” is a weak explanation.

    Indeed.

    I much prefer “Many of them have long been purposely fed a poisonous diet of trumped-up lies, uttered by people they admire and trust, and their political opinions are driven by the resulting fears and hatreds.”

  49. 49.

    Narcissus

    July 9, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    We ought to see if we can come up with a fake right-wing outrage chain-letter and then see how long it takes to make it back to us. We’ll say stuff like Michelle Obama is going to outlaw Kraft Cheese Slices.

  50. 50.

    Jay in Oregon

    July 9, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    @Betty Cracker at top:
    Has anyone introduced you to the trainwrecky goodness that is Mail My Grandpa Gets?

    https://twitter.com/GrandpasMail/

    “My grandpa, an 86 year old Republican in CT, gets a half dozen pieces of political mail each day… or more. Every one asks for a donation. All mail opened w/permission.”

    He posts scans of the actual letters, with such scare-tastic headlines as:

    “Islamic Law isn’t coming to America… It’s already here!”

    “AND THEN THEY OUTLAWED THE BABY JESUS…”

    “To help you implement your ambitious plan to stop this backdoor amnesty for illegal aliens, I have enclosed my maximum possible […] contribution in the amount of: []$2,000… []$1,500… []$1,000… []$500… []$250… []$100… []$50… []$25… []Other”

  51. 51.

    Nathaniel

    July 9, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    @burnspbesq: He certainly speaks for more people and has more power than you do.

  52. 52.

    amk

    July 9, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    @Narcissus: Bingo. burnsey is being wantonly moronic on this.

  53. 53.

    CW in LA

    July 9, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    @Narcissus: Why further incite the weak-minded but armed to their rotten teeth?

  54. 54.

    Redshift

    July 9, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    @Gus:

    My dad was a wonderful man, but at the end of his life he started watching Fox News. That stuff rots the brain.

    My mother-in-law is developing dementia. One night while my wife was helping to take care of her, her channel surfing (at high volume) ended up on Fox, and it was dreadful. (Bizarrely, Mark Fuhrmann was the voice of sanity on that particular show.) Later, while they were upstairs, I turned on the parental controls on their satellite TV and blocked Fox and Fox Business. The one advantage of dementia is that she’ll never notice that those channels are gone.

  55. 55.

    Hal

    July 9, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    One of my old coworkers forwarded the one about how mysterious it was that Obama had Pakistani roommates, just how did he pay for college, and hey, what was wrong with NYC? Why Chicago?!?!

    The hilarious thing was I worked in an office of almost all African American women, so right after she hit send I see all these women getting out of their chairs and moving toward her desk. I wanted to scream run, run!, but I was laughing too hard.

    She called in the next two days.

  56. 56.

    The Dangerman

    July 9, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    “I’d Like To Teach the World To Sing” would be a great Anthem!

    /obot

    ETA Can you imagine the fees that Coke would pay to make that happen?

  57. 57.

    Spaghetti Lee

    July 9, 2012 at 10:47 pm

    I’m glad I don’t have people like that in my family. I’m actually kind of amazed I don’t, given its size. Oh sure, there are conservatives, but they tend to be of the Smug, rather than the Loony subspecies.

    If it’s a family member I’ve always had a bad relationship with, I’d send back a mocking response and feel fine about it. But if it’s someone you genuinely care for? An older relative who’s kind of isolated and maybe going a bit senile? How do you talk to them? Fuck if I know.

  58. 58.

    burnspbesq

    July 9, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    @Narcissus:

    A Photoshopped image of Lloyd Blankfein giving Geithner a blowjob should do the trick.

    It would have the added benefit of stimulating the economy by sending sales of brain bleach skyrocketing.

  59. 59.

    NotMax

    July 9, 2012 at 10:49 pm

    Because they exist in an alternate plane where nothing, per Jon Kyl, “is meant to be a factual statement.”

  60. 60.

    Bago

    July 9, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    The point is, in a world with an Internet, satellites, gps, and drones, even if you are hiding with an AK in Somalia, or in a cabin protected by a government, privacy is an illusion. Trying to hide will flag you in well written automated search algorithms.

    Seriously, from an office near Seattle, a co-worker and I traced down a guy who tried to rip us off in Poland, who used a Romneyesque PO box in Belgium.

    The report we gave to the FBI included all of his clients logins, passwords, and even a picture of his cat.

    Good enough for government work.

  61. 61.

    Spaghetti Lee

    July 9, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    (ARE YOU READY FOR THIS???)

    You know, I can’t read this without the theme from Space Jam playing in my head.

  62. 62.

    FuriousPhil

    July 9, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    I’ve effectively blocked the crazy e-mails at this point.

    If you use Facebook though…some of the people I knew from high school seem like otherwise OK folks, until they post the political stuff. I used to engage, but found out I would get ‘shouted’ at by people I didn’t even know and had never met.

    Apparently I am ‘uneducated’, drink a lot of Kool-Aid, hate America, and drive a foreign car.

  63. 63.

    Calouste

    July 9, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    @jl:

    My teabagger relatives are into UBL raid conspiracy theories, superduper highways from Mexico to Canada and the ‘Amero’, and selling the country to China.

    Well, Romney is halfway there already, just give hima few years.

  64. 64.

    Joseph Nobles

    July 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    What happens when they reprint some god-awful BS on Facebook and you give them a Snopes link, and they tell you “I Snopesed it before I reprinted it”?

    And you go back and look, and yes, the rabid comment under the item they’ve reprinted has been modified somewhat by their own personal comment to reflect what Snopes has said, but we still get their own whacked-out fearful monologue about the idiocy they’ve turned the Snopes debunking into.

    God save me from Alabama moderates.

  65. 65.

    magurakurin

    July 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    @burnspbesq: okay, so that’s what 50,000 people? And……?

    Plus, I’d still say they are fucking morons. My stock portfolio is at an all time high(I’m not wealthy by any means, but I do own stocks) and as far as I can see Romney’s policies will hurt the economy and the market. Will their tax deductions equal the loss of equity on their stocks in their portfolio? I don’t think so.

    I stand. They are fucking morons.

  66. 66.

    Spaghetti Lee

    July 9, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    “AND THEN THEY OUTLAWED THE BABY JESUS…”

    Am I the only one who finds that inexplicably hilarious?

  67. 67.

    NotMax

    July 9, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    @bursnpbesq

    Historically, in terms of the stock market, not really.

    …In a Bloomberg Governmen…Bob Drummond examines the historical record and finds that the stock market (the S&P 500, in this case) performs much, much better under Democrats than Republicans.…

  68. 68.

    NotMax

    July 9, 2012 at 11:02 pm

    Try that again.

    …In a Bloomberg Government article…Bob Drummond examines the historical record and finds that the stock market (the S&P 500, in this case) performs much, much better under Democrats than Republicans.… Source

  69. 69.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    July 9, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    @burnspbesq: Clearly that’s accurate, for that demographic. But what about the rest of the 60 million? Like teh Fox watchers who want the evil gubmint to keep its greedy grubby paws off their Medicare?

  70. 70.

    Spaghetti Lee

    July 9, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    @NotMax:

    Well sure, but how rich they get is only half the story. Everyone else needs to be poor.

  71. 71.

    danimal

    July 9, 2012 at 11:07 pm

    Crazy uncle, please let me know where to sign up for the death panels.

  72. 72.

    NotMax

    July 9, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    @Spaghetti Lee

    Yuppers.

    It’s an unspoken corollary to the odious Laffer Curve.

    To wit, if lowering taxes increases revenue, therefore lowering wages increases prosperity.

  73. 73.

    Spaghetti Lee

    July 9, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Don’t know if anyone’s said this before, but I propose ‘Skree-Mail’ as a name for this type of correspondence.

  74. 74.

    Jay in Oregon

    July 9, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    @Spaghetti Lee:
    The one about Islamic law already being “here” is even more hilarious.

    The “proof” they offer is a Fox News headline that says “Florida Appeals Court Rejects Call to Block Judge from Citing Islamic Law in Ruling”. Right above that is a block that breathlessly intones “Court orders use of Islamic law in American courts!”

    Because not blocking someone from doing something is exactly the same as ordering them to do it! ZOMG BURQAS MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD HALAL ARGLBARGL!

  75. 75.

    Betty Cracker

    July 9, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    @Cargo: I’ve been doing that since email forwards were invented, cc’ing everyone who ever got the email in the entire string, and STILL they keep sending me this shite. (Sigh)

  76. 76.

    gnomedad

    July 9, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    @FuriousPhil:

    Apparently I am ‘uneducated’, drink a lot of Kool-Aid, hate America, and drive a foreign car.

    Well, “educated” is worse, so I guess they feel there is hope for you.

  77. 77.

    Betty Cracker

    July 9, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    @Citizen Alan: I always debunk these stupid emails, but they keep sending ’em anyway.

  78. 78.

    joel hanes

    July 9, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    @Spaghetti Lee:

    But if it’s someone you genuinely care for? An older relative who’s kind of isolated and maybe going a bit senile? How do you talk to them?

    As you always have: with love and respect, and with as much honesty as possible.

    “Aunt Helen, I’m sure you heard that from someone you trust, but it’s just not true.”

  79. 79.

    dww44

    July 9, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    @Citizen Alan: Well, if it makes you feel any better a week ago I “replied all” to an email response from a conservative friend who was responding to another acquaintance’s non-political forward of a Snopes article about some sort of computer virus. The conservative friend responded by saying, in all seriousness, that she believed the Snopes website, run by a husband and wife, had been proven to be a fraud. Having encountered that magical thinking from another super conservative relative several years ago, I responded with a link to Dave Emery’s post at the Urban Legends site at About.Com, in which he points out, bluntly, how the Snopes owners had been very much wrongly maligned by the smear machine on the conservative right.

    I made the cardinal mistake of copying some of his rebuttal directly into my email “reply all” and so was chastized by the sender of the computer virus email for making my response a political one because she didn’t discuss politics with close friends and family.

    I replied only to her and asked why didn’t she say something to the person who sent out the false information (I knew she wouldn’t have)and asked her if she thought that it was fair to allow this lie to stand, that this was a couple whose very reputation and livelihood were dependent on their own personal trustworthiness.

    As a side note there are members of my family who refuse to believe the veracity of anything at Snopes. To rebut stuff like this, I have to provide links to multiple sources. Mostly I am not receiving many of these sorts of email forwards anymore, cause everyone knows I fight back. They don’t want a rebuttal with facts;they simply want to continue to indulge their own prejudices.

  80. 80.

    Kilkee

    July 9, 2012 at 11:39 pm

    @Bubblegum Tate: Until very recently Snopes was generally a pretty successful response. It probably still is with all but the crziest. But I did recently try to swat away an especially stupid, obviously stupid assertion of the type cited here. When I invoked Snopes I was immediately told that it was a “George Soros operation” designed to support leftist lies. What the hell can you do? Can’t fix stupid, truly.

  81. 81.

    Chris

    July 9, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    @Cargo:

    When I get those, I Reply All and debunk them hard, with multiple URLs. Not because the person will actually think for a second that the debunking is true, they’ve already made up their mind. But debunking hard means I’m not In the Tribe, and they’ll stop sending the mails.

    Exactly.

    I had a conservative acquaintance who sent me those kind of emails practically every night for a little while. Ignored them at first, finally snapped back when I got an extremely insulting one, and haven’t been bothered since. Surprising how little it takes to chase them off.

  82. 82.

    Lojasmo

    July 9, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    @burnspbesq:

    Your crazy-ass pope is the mouthpiece of god, according to your insane faith. That’s enough to disregard anything the catholic church espouses.

  83. 83.

    John M. Burt

    July 10, 2012 at 12:16 am

    @Narcissus: No, not banning Kraft Cheese Slices — Kraft Spray Cheese!*

    That will really drive them crazy.

    *She also referred to Velveeta as “Yellowy.”

  84. 84.

    Jay in Oregon

    July 10, 2012 at 12:30 am

    @Kilkee:

    When I invoked Snopes I was immediately told that it was a “George Soros operation” designed to support leftist lies. What the hell can you do?

    You need to tell them the truth about Snopes, of course…

  85. 85.

    Dollared

    July 10, 2012 at 1:13 am

    This is what I love about Balloon Juice. You think this is just old people. Nearly every traditional, white business person (and especially every Korean of my acquaintance) in flyover country believes every word of this.

    They all stand with Scott Walker. You guys really don’t get what a huge percentage of the owners/employers in our country have completely bought into the propaganda. It is our reality. Look at the daily newspapers across the country.

  86. 86.

    Irony Abounds

    July 10, 2012 at 1:33 am

    My mother sends me this nutty chain emails all the time. I try and be patient with her, and send her the very easy to find rebuttals, but that never stops her. She’s a woman with an Ivy League degree, but she’s 82, and lives in Arkansas with a bunch of other elderly kooks, so there is no hope for her. I’m no young pup myself, but I tell ya, I’ve had it up to my neck with the elderly and their stupidity and selfishness. They all scream bloody murder the second anyone even remotely suggests some changes to Social Security, while in the next breath they scream about how Obama is a socialist and the country’s going bankrupt. The cognitive dissonance in the elderly population is at record levels.

  87. 87.

    Bubblegum Tate

    July 10, 2012 at 2:12 am

    @Kilkee:

    When I invoked Snopes I was immediately told that it was a “George Soros operation” designed to support leftist lies. What the hell can you do? Can’t fix stupid, truly.

    For real. They seriously think that “it’s somehow connected to George Soros!” is a game-ending trump card. In a way, it is: When somebody resorts to that, you know it’s utterly useless to try to talk sense into them.

  88. 88.

    Ezra

    July 10, 2012 at 2:14 am

    Hey, why don’t you or somebody else (anonymously) create a series of similar emails about Romney, and we can all forward them back to the people who forwarded us these Obama ones? To me, if one is going to reply to these, this is a better use of that time than the “rebuttals” that some people have said here to reply to the chain emails with.

  89. 89.

    hamletta

    July 10, 2012 at 2:27 am

    Dudes, I love my dad, but I lost him to one of these crap jokes, because I hit “Reply All” and said it was crap.

    I’ve sent him some nice Fathers’ Day presents, like a book about the gadgets in the early Bond films, and some lovely, yet manly, personal care products made by women who have been rescued from life on the streets.

    My brother tells me how hurt he is that we don’t speak, but does he acknowledge the gifts? No.

    It hurts. Bad.

  90. 90.

    burnt

    July 10, 2012 at 2:39 am

    With regard to Snopes didn’t anyone from here ever hang out in alt.folklore.urban? Good times–and the well-spring of Snopes both the relationship and the site.

  91. 91.

    worn

    July 10, 2012 at 3:51 am

    @Narcissus: Well, when I read the chain mail Betty C posted my first thought was “Ain’t no way this ain’t DougJ”

    “If we, as a Nation of warring people, conduct ourselves like the nations of Islam, where peace prevails” being the tell of course…

  92. 92.

    Baud

    July 10, 2012 at 6:44 am

    The only good response to these emails is “I support Barack Obama.”

  93. 93.

    akaBruno

    July 10, 2012 at 7:27 am

    “They rotate your tires. They vaccinate your children. They process your cable bills. And they vote. Sweet dreams!”

    In other words, they are ‘nails ladies’

  94. 94.

    Neddie Jingo

    July 10, 2012 at 7:40 am

    @burnt:

    With regard to Snopes didn’t anyone from here ever hang out in alt.folklore.urban? Good times—and the well-spring of Snopes both the relationship and the site.

    I exchanged some emails with Barbara Mikkelson back in, maybe, ’96(?). I think the topic was the Monkees, but I could be succumbing to senility. She and Snopes were an “item” at the time, and maybe a month later they announced their nuptials. Snopes himself eventually joined the conversation, and I knew at that point that I’d reached Internet Nirvana.

    Alt.folklore.urban was truly a reason to go on living.

    Neddie “I’d like to teach the world to stop sucking quite so much” Jingo

  95. 95.

    Bulworth

    July 10, 2012 at 9:08 am

    I’m glad these have stopped filling up my inbox. Mostly the problem was old high school “friends”.

  96. 96.

    sparrow

    July 10, 2012 at 9:08 am

    @burnspbesq: Except for when you get shot to death for $10 because you turned the US into a Banana Republic. Oopsies!

  97. 97.

    LAC

    July 10, 2012 at 9:13 am

    @burnspbesq: It works for me. What else can you call someone who votes against their financial interests and can look at Romney and go “yes!”

  98. 98.

    LAC

    July 10, 2012 at 9:14 am

    @burnspbesq: It works for me. What else can you call someone who votes against their financial interests and can look at Romney and go “yes!”

  99. 99.

    LAC

    July 10, 2012 at 9:15 am

    @burnspbesq: It works for me. What else can you call someone who votes against their financial interests and can look at Romney and go “yes!”

  100. 100.

    schrodinger's cat

    July 10, 2012 at 9:18 am

    I did not realize the depths of racial animus that still exist in this country, until Obama took office. I guess I was naive and sheltered.

  101. 101.

    Bobby Thomson

    July 10, 2012 at 9:23 am

    @burnspbesq:

    At least 60 million people are going to vote for Mitt Romeny. “They’re all fucking morons” is a weak explanation.

    It’s in the economic interest of about 6000 of them. So there’s that. The rest are fucking morons.

    As George Carlin said, half the population is below average.

  102. 102.

    Rob in CT

    July 10, 2012 at 9:50 am

    Ah, yes. Occasionally my mother sends out crap like this (not THIS crazy, as yet, but still totally wrong RW wingnuttery). My family has a rotation of sorts worked out on the reply-to-all debunking. Sometimes it’s me. Sometimes it’s my aunt. Recently my nephew took one (complete with link to Krugman). Not once – NOT ONCE – has she responded in any way. Then, after some time, she sends another one.

    The thing is that mom is the relatively sane one. Grandpa is full on nutso with this stuff. He has gone full wingnut. I don’t even get stuff from him, thankfully. But the last time I talked to him about politics (years now), it was staggering.

    There is an alternate reality out there.

  103. 103.

    j

    July 10, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Here’s the entire transcript from that MYP show. The guests were Biden because he was just named as VP candidate (~40 minutes), and Tom Friedman (~12 minutes) talking about whatever he talks about (the “surge”).

    The only time Obama shows up is in a clip being grilled by O’Reiley,who misrepresented what Obama said about teh surge and Obama’s response; and then a clip of one of Obama’s campaign commercials.

  104. 104.

    aretino

    July 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

    @Bobby Thomson:

    As George Carlin said, half the population is below average.

    If Carlin had understood statistics, he would have been more illuminating. By definition, half of the population is below the median, but it is possible that far more than half are below average. That explains a lot for me about why right wing pathology seems so common.

  105. 105.

    Bobby Thomson

    July 10, 2012 at 10:11 am

    @aretino: Both median and mean are synonymous with average.

  106. 106.

    Ruckus

    July 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Got this one last night.
    London Cabbies!

    A devout Muslim entered a black cab in London.

    He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching from the Koran,

    He must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music,

    Especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

    The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab, and opened the door.

    The Arab asked him, “What are you doing?”

    The cabbie answered, “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so Kiss my ass and wait for a camel!!”

    Now I know it’s crass and all but I sort of like the response to someone putting their religious crap on everyone else.

  107. 107.

    khead

    July 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

    Dad is still on dial up service.

    He gets his wingnut emails from the newspaper.

  108. 108.

    Dave S.

    July 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

    You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

  109. 109.

    aretino

    July 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

    @Bobby Thomson:

    Average appears as a synonym in the definition of mean

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mean?s=t

    but not in the definition of median

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/median?s=t&ld=1031

  110. 110.

    mds

    July 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

    @Bobby Thomson:

    @aretino: Both median and mean are synonymous with average.

    Um, no, and that’s not even quite what the link you provided says. It says that “average” can be used to refer to mean, median, or mode, and that it’s often deliberately used to make people think it’s referring to “arithmetic mean” even when it’s not. And despite the assertion, in virtually all cases, “average” refers to “mean,” not “median.” For an appropriate distribution, median and mean can be close to one another, but that’s a different point.

    In lighter news, thanks for the link to a post containing such examples of “political manipulation” as:

    “The average family in America will see No tax increase”

    “Only the richest 2% of Americans will see their taxes increase”

    “This health plan is only going to cost the average person $500 per year…and inaction is not an option”

    Yeah, beware of someone who advocates increasing taxes on only the richest 2% of Americans, because ve’s not, e.g., specifying pre-tax or post-tax income, so is probably proposing to raise taxes on you. And the examples of “average” are only gotchas if (1) the speaker is referring to “mean” and the median is significantly higher than the mean, which would require income distributions in this country to be skewed in the opposite direction from what they actually are (Think of the “Bill Gates walks into a bar” example); or (2) the speaker is referring to “median” and advocating a tax / health plan cost that quickly reaches its maximum right beyond the median, which is unlikely. (And given that the median household income is around $50,000 anyway, so what? “No tax increase on households making $50,000 or less” doesn’t sound all that horrible to me.)

  111. 111.

    HG Hay

    July 10, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Somehow my brother, who is at least a bit leftier than I, gets these from relatives but I don’t. Maybe my gay repels them. I suppose it’s a fiercefield.

  112. 112.

    brantl

    July 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    People who are gullible enough to find that email plausible aren’t necessarily drooling morons, at least about ALL topics.

    I think, by definition, this has to be wrong. Drooling morons are often capable in limited ways.

  113. 113.

    Bobby Thomson

    July 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    @aretino: Colloquially, yes, but not in the statistics classes I took.

  114. 114.

    Bobby Thomson

    July 10, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    @mds: Well, no, this is what the link actually says:

    “Average” does not always equate to “Mean”: Mean is the most oft-cited average, but that does not necessarily mean that the word average is equivalent to mean. There are various types of averages: mean, median and mode being the most common. So, if someone says, the average player bats .286, they probably mean that .286 is the arithmetic mean, but technically that is not necessarily true unless they specify further which average they are referring to. Because of this, many people will use the word “average” knowing full-well that their audience will associate it with arithmetic mean, when in fact, they may be referring to a median or mode and as such, the audience falls prey to statistical chicanery.

    Getting back to aretino’s point, I don’t see how the distinction improves the joke.

  115. 115.

    LanceThruster

    July 10, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    @Gus: My dad remarried recently to a FAUX Noise spouse and would send me this kind of drek constantly. I would “REPLY ALL” with a rebuttal or correction but never got any feedback on the debunking. I finally had to ask him to stop sending anything politically related. Now I just get the normal LOLCATS and such.

    [sigh]

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