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I wonder if trump will be tried as an adult.

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How can republicans represent us when they don’t trust women?

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I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

šŸŽ¶ Those boots were made for mockinā€™ šŸŽµ

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

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Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they donā€™t ask for more? Great plan.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

Ron DeSantis, the grand wizard, oops, governor of FL

Letā€™s not be the monsters we hate.

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The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

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The revolution will be supervised.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Guns don’t kill people. DEMONS kill people.

Reader Interactions

113Comments

  2. 2.

    Schlemizel

    I GOT IT!
    Lets have priests perform exorcisms on audiences before each show. Then there will never be another mass shooting in a movie theater ever again. This can work for schools and shopping mauls too!

    Honest to pasta, I swear these assclowns are like that character in Mummy, wearing one of every religious tchotchke they can find

  3. 3.

    Patricia Kayden

    Hahahahahaha!

    You’re supposed to throw back your head and laugh, Betty. KJL is a Rightwing comedian, doncha know?

  5. 5.

    The Moar You Know

    The woman is mentally ill. A just and decent society would lock her up for her own protection.

  8. 8.

    red dog

    What babble. The Salem witch hunters would be proud. I suppose inner demons can take over a person’s thoughts but possession from the outside would only be possible if the scientists studying this believed in the devil. Then they would not be scientists.

  9. 9.

    Steeplejack

    Thanks to our last big thread about K-Lo, whenever I see her name I automatically picture Jean Teasdale at The Onion. That makes it all a little more bearable.

  11. 11.

    jibeaux

    Would it be irresponsible to speculate on demonic possession? It would be irresponsible not to, of course!

  12. 12.

    Punchy

    Dear Adam Dunn —

    See what happens when you actually make contact on the ball with the bat? You make hits instead of producing wind. Please take note.

    Yours–
    Fantasy owners

  13. 13.

    ruemara

    Having been raised in the demon haunted world of fundamentalism, I can attest that this is the belief of many religious types. And they vote.

  15. 15.

    Face

    Thanks to our last big thread about K-Lo

    Don’t all threads on or near K-Lo have to be big?

  16. 16.

    Ash Can

    “Interesting,” she says as she peddles bullshit that distracts from the fact that this nation needs to do more to keep guns away from the mentally ill. She can go straight to hell.

  17. 17.

    jprfrog

    I read (or tried to read) the NRO piece. FYI: it is not by K-Lo herself but by an “exorcist” name Longenecker. Was it actually from a draft for the “Exorcist” novel that didn’t make it into the final version? or deep satire?

    It seems to be really meant seriously, describing several stages of “demonic” possession in clinical detail, although it could have been said in a few words “The Devil made him do it.”

    Particularly interesting was the way in which the demon gradually insinuates itself into the personality, and how it gradually takes over. It seemed an almost perfect description of the process by which mind-fucking by Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, etc. etc. proceeds. Are they demon-possessed too?

    It’s as good an explanation as any, I guess.

    There are times when I question my own certainties, wondering what if any basis in reality the wingnuttery might have. Stuff like this convinces me that I am not the one who is crazy.

  18. 18.

    elmo

    Disgusting. Just fucking disgusting. What an unbelievable waste of sentience this woman is.

  19. 19.

    FormerSwingVoter

    Yeah, this is pretty common among the most crazy of the “religious”; they pretend that mental illness is actually demonic possession to make their magic sky-man voodoo seem more real.

  20. 20.

    Culture of Truth

    In all seriousness, this is part of the pushback on gun control, with politicians and others going on tv and saying we have to focus on the individual, and yet at the same time saying “If it was not one weapon, it would have been another, and he was diabolical,” and calling him “demonic.” (Hickenlooper).

    This serves two purposes: one, it shifts the focus away from gun control or registration or the weapons used at all, and two, further absolves public officials or indeed society to do anything at all in response to the event – it was just demons and lord knows you can’t do anything about that.

  21. 21.

    Grumpy Code Monkey

    @elmo:

    What an unbelievable waste of sentience this woman is.

    Assumes facts not in evidence (namely, sentience).

  22. 22.

    Culture of Truth

    I for one am certain that Hickenlooper was not reacting in the heat of the moment, but that his words were very carefully chosen.

  24. 24.

    Mnemosyne

    I was wondering which aspect of science would be next on the block in the desperate attempt to shore up the conservative worldview. Evolution, climate change, and economics all had to be jettisoned, and yet the ship is still sinking, so I guess psychiatry has to go, too.

  26. 26.

    jibeaux

    You can tell he’s not a demon because he required three firearms. Real demons just use their eyes and shit.

  27. 27.

    Cassidy

    by Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, etc. etc. proceeds. Are they demon-possessed too?

    Sadly, human. If demons exist, assuming the divine is real, they don’t need to do aything malicious. They just make it easier to act on one’s own abse instincts. People like Hannity and Limbaugh would be vile piles of shit regardless of demonic influence.

  29. 29.

    slag

    @Schlemizel:

    further proof computers are evil!

    You laugh, but a friend of mine attended a “Christian technology conference” and the whole thing was about whether or not “technology” is compatible with Christian values. I was disappointed to find that my friend didn’t ask the concerned attendees why they were wearing clothes, meeting in electrified buildings, and sitting on office chairs.

  31. 31.

    Shawn in ShowMe

    All coverage of one-man massacres involve the protagonist wrestling with “inner demons.” The Good Father Longenecker is just taking it to the next level.

    A cursory view of his archive reveals other gleaming pearls of wisdom such as “The Truth Is There Is No Truth” and “Can You Be Good Without God?” We are lucky to have the Good Father breaking down reality for the unwashed masses. Keeps them off the streets.

  35. 35.

    Joey Maloney

    @jprfrog:

    Particularly interesting was the way in which the demon gradually insinuates itself into the personality, and how it gradually takes over. It seemed an almost perfect description of the process by which mind-fucking by Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, etc. etc. proceeds. Are they demon-possessed too?

    Fox and Rush would be the actual demons by that description, wouldn’t they?

  37. 37.

    eric

    the dogwhistle is going past y’all. that such a demonic act can occur, means we have lost god’s protection and we have lost god’s protection because we have tuned god out of our lives and our culture. this is the “short skirt” meme.

    We are all just asking for more of the devil’s handiwork because we have turned our backs on god.

  38. 38.

    JayinCA

    The best quote from the NRO link: “…wrestling with a pool of oily octopuses.” Ought to be a banner tag.

  40. 40.

    japa21

    I see others beat me to the Bobby Jindal references. So I guess we can blame him for the killings because he wasn’t there when he was needed.

  41. 41.

    Comrade Dread

    Well, if we blame the devil, then we don’t really have to do anything about how one has to be put on a register to buy cold medicine and raise red flags if you buy too much, while you can apparently order 6,000 rounds of ammo over the internet without any flags or someone saying, “Unless that guy’s hunting the vorpal rabbit, that’s about 5,900 rounds too many for legitimate purposes.”

    We can blame Hollywood, violent video games, and porn instead.

    You know, as opposed to either doing something about our gun laws or coming out and admitting that we’re perfectly happy and willing to continue to live with these incidents so couch commandos can stockpile weapons and feel patriotic.

  42. 42.

    SteveM

    Fucking hell. I was born in 1959 and was Catholic until I self-deported from the church at age 14. For all my disillusionment with Catholicism, I remember the church of my childhood trying to be part of the modern world — it accepted evolution without question, for instance. A subtext of The Exorcist, in the early ’70s, was that exorcism had been tucked away in Catholicism’s attic as an embarrassing relic. But the modern Catholic Church is the church of Rick Santorum and K-Lo. It’s not enough that it’s become part of the vast right-wing conspiracy — it’s also slipping back centuries in terms of superstition.

    Pathetic.

  43. 43.

    NotMax

    Next on the “give ’em dat ol’ time religion” hit parade?

    We have blasphemed against the Divine Plan by arrogantly creating false images and projecting them on a screen in beguiling, majestic dimensions to inveigle the innocent to worship at the altar of deceit.

    Ban movies. That will assure this never happening again.

  44. 44.

    scav

    ‘merca, proudly arming the drug lords of Mexico and the daemons of hell and and crazed loons everywhere because well-organized militias come in all sizes and conditions of organization.

  45. 45.

    rumpole

    So the representatives of conservative intelligentsia are going around saying:

    Demons! (what happened to personal responsibility?)
    “those whores better have been worth it”

    There is no place in hell cold enough.

  46. 46.

    kerFuFFler

    “If there is a demonic element, the “temptation” is to do something radically and extremely vile.”

    So the vileness is “proof” of demonic possession? What about all the vile people throughout history? Was Hitler possessed then? Give me a break.

    Maybe they are just laying the groundwork for a “Romney was (past tense) just possessed by demons when he made all those decisions at Bain” defense.

  48. 48.

    aimai

    I think I need to breathe into a paper bag after seeing that tweet. Or else start huffing glue.

    aimai

  49. 49.

    Culture of Truth

    Breaking: Michelle Bachmann calls for investigating members of Congress for signs of demonic possession

  50. 50.

    burnspbesq

    OK, that was mildly amusing. Now back to reality.

    From the Department of Delicious Irony: Massachustts has filed a cross-petition for cert with the Supreme Court in its case challenging Section 3 od DOMA, because it didn’t like the way the House Wingnuts framed the issues in their petition.

    It wants the court to rule that Section 3 of DOMA violates … (wait for it) … THE TENTH AMENDMENT.

    Karma is a cruel but righteous bitch.

    http://www.scotusblog.com/2012/07/plea-for-wider-doma-review/

  51. 51.

    Narcissus

    Actually belief in demons and their works is pretty common in fundamentalist evangelism. It’s why they don’t like things like meditation, introspection or introversion. Just another chance for the devil to get into your head.

  52. 52.

    Bago

    @rumpole: Rocking the Dante. Although the chewing action would in fact generate heat from the friction, making the coldest part a bit below.

  54. 54.

    Horrendo Slapp (formerly Jimperson Zibb, Duncan Dƶnitz, Otto Graf von Pfmidtnƶchtler-PĆ­zsmőgy, Mumphrey, et al.)

    Macco’s Razor, people, Macco’s Razor. Bertrand Russell summed up Occam’s Razor this way: “Whenever possible, substitute constructions out of known entities for inferences to unknown entities.” Here is how Dnartreb Llessur sums up Macco’s Razor: “Whenever possible, substitute inferences to unknown entities for constructions out of known entities.” Lopez seems to be a great fan of Mailliw of Macco.

  63. 63.

    Kane

    In response, Satan categorically denied any involvement in the Aurora shooting or any other mass shooting. “Humans are more than willing to kill one another without any coaxing from me,” he told reporters in a conference call.

  64. 64.

    Chris

    @Kane:

    Calvin: “Do you believe there’s a devil? Do you believe there’s a being dedicated to the corruption and downfall of man?”
    Hobbes: “I’m not sure man needs the help.”

  70. 70.

    TooManyJens

    Oh sweet galloping Jesus. Anything to take the focus off whether it’s good public policy to let everyone get their hands on as much military-grade weaponry as they can afford.

  72. 72.

    danimal

    For all you skeptics, I just want to bring one fact into evidence. There have been ZERO demon-controlled shooters in Louisiana movie theaters.

    Bobby Jindal, Exorcist/Governor: He’ll keep you safe from demon-shooters!

  73. 73.

    Linda Featheringill

    @ruemara:

    Having been raised in the demon haunted world of fundamentalism, I can attest that this is the belief of many religious types.

    Definitely.

    I have been known to try to explain monotheism to fundies but they were having none of that stuff.

  74. 74.

    hep kitty

    We are really having a discussion in this country about whether or not the movie patrons should have been armed?? I cannot believe this “conversation” is still going on and people are calling in to talk shows supporting it!

    Only in America

  76. 76.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    @Narcissus:

    Actually belief in demons and their works is pretty common in fundamentalist evangelism. Itā€™s why they donā€™t like things like meditation, introspection or introversion. Just another chance for the devil to get into your head.

    A majick practitioner of my acquaintance long ago described the evangelical services of his youth as “bending over and inviting any entity passing by to come in”.

    @redshirt:

    Satanā€™s the good guy

    I believe Heinlein’s take on that is the best known….

  80. 80.

    Hill Dweller

    While Willard is in London, his campaign is holding 24 events today railing against a make believe Obama quote. If that fucker couldn’t lie, they’d have no campaign.

  81. 81.

    Amir Khalid

    If it was demonic possession that led James Holmes to kill 12 people, so what? Morally as well as legally, it’s still Holmes on the hook for this. Shaitan may have tempted him; but it was Holmes who decided to give in, to devote his considerable smarts to the project of mowing down a movie audience.

  82. 82.

    the Conster

    @burnspbesq:

    Martha Coakley losing to Scott Brown wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened. What she lacked in campaigning chops she makes up for in prosecutorial tenacity.

  83. 83.

    The Snarxist Formerly Known as Kryptik

    @hep kitty:

    While even tepid suggestions about how to make sure guns are sold only to responsible owners ends up with shrieking rage about confiscations and the like. Lovely, huh?

  84. 84.

    dead existentialist

    Open thread? Here’s where we are in the land of Chuckles Grassley. A man walks into a bar . . . with 40 lbs. of mercury . . . and somebody spills it . . . so he hides the remains in a children’s sandbox. Mayan Calender Countdown.

  85. 85.

    S. cerevisiae

    Laugh it up, but someday you too may encounter the horrible MAILER-DEMON. I have and lived to tell the tale.

    Everyone knows you must make sacrifice regularly to the computer demons.

  88. 88.

    Bubblegum Tate

    @FormerSwingVoter:

    Yeah, this is pretty common among the most crazy of the ā€œreligiousā€; they pretend that mental illness is actually demonic possession to make their magic sky-man voodoo seem more real.

    It always reminds me of Taibbi’s description in The Great Derangement of a mass exorcism at some church retreat he attended (undercover, of course): Hundreds of people literally vomiting into paper bags as the preacher announced he was “casting out” a litany of demons (“I cast out the demon of schizophrenia!”). I laughed my ass off when I first read that part, then I realized that a shitload of people fully believe in that stuff, and it made me kind of depressed.

  91. 91.

    catclub

    @NotMax:
    In the church of Aphrodite, Priestess wears a see-through nightie.
    She’s an awfully righteous sightie,
    … and its good enough for me.

  95. 95.

    Catsy

    @redshirt: Such is the premise of pretty much every Shin Megami Tensei game.

    Also, on behalf of dimension travelers everywhere I object to the, er, demonizing of demons. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a pressing appointment on Deva…

  96. 96.

    gogol's wife

    @TooManyJens:

    This is unutterably depressing. See David Brooks yesterday, about how the whole point is mental illness (the “civilized” version of demonic possession). There are a couple of good letters today slapping him down. Hickenlooper also depresses the hell out of me.

    These gun lovers don’t want their freedom infringed. What about my freedom to go to a movie or teach a class without worrying about being gunned down? Why can’t the rest of us do something about this? I agree with something I saw yesterday, that the existing gun control lobby (Brady Campaign, to which I contribute) has been pretty worthless.

  99. 99.

    Tonal Crow

    She’s right. The demons named “Republicans” have possessed America, and are working overtime to destroy it.

  100. 100.

    Ash Can

    @Amir Khalid: The “demonic possession” angle sidesteps our society’s responsibility to keep firearms out of the hands of the mentally ill by presenting the condition as something that we’re powerless to control, other than through obviously ineffective means such as prayer. It allows our society to keep its collective head buried in the sand on what really needs to be done to prevent these horrors.

  102. 102.

    Njorl

    @Ruckus:

    So youā€™ve met a level 2 or higher scientolgist?

    How many experience points do you need to reach level 2 in Scientology?

  103. 103.

    El Cid

    I think we need to check on the voting patterns of Demon-Americans before condemning their access to guns: if the Demonic American community tends to vote Republican, why, then, it’s about their 2nd Amendment Freedoms.

  105. 105.

    trnc

    Holy Frijole. If only Sam and Dean Winchester (circa seasons 1-3) had been in the theater, there wouldn’t have been a problem.

  108. 108.

    JWL

    Lest We Forget: Governor Jindal of Louisiana has stated that he witnessed an exorcism twenty-some years ago.

    An exorcism, a friggin’ exorcism, in the 20th century.

  109. 109.

    RedKitten

    Tip to fundies: when you are making Carrie White’s mother look half-assed, you’ve gone too far.

  111. 111.

    Matt

    This, BTW, is why we’ll never get a decent mental-health system in this country to prevent more Auroras – delusional paranoid fantasies about demons infesting everything are now basically mainline evangelical thought, and putting them all on Thorazine would put the megachurches out of business overnight.

    Seriously – I can’t think of any time in the past that pushing things like this in public:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_warfare#Charismatic_movement

    wouldn’t have earned the purveyor a stay in a padded room. And that’s by no means the craziest out there…

  112. 112.

    Calouste

    @rlrr:

    God killed all humans on the planet except one family, and most other non-aquatic life forms. Satan never did that, and his ambitions probably even don’t stretch that far.

  113. 113.

    Gravenstone

    Well, this thread has given me an urge to revisit my demon hunter in D3. Thanks for that.

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