__
In an interview with proud professional courtier-to-power Piers Morgan, Romney and his sidekick LovelySpouseAnn explain, one more time, that wherever he’s succeeded, it’s because Mitt Romney is Just That Wonderful. And wherever it may look, to the uninformed observer, as though Mitt Romney did not succeed, it’s because some people don’t believe America is the Greatest Country in the History of the World. Not — Romney repeats this many times — that he would commit the “tremendous breach” of criticizing Some Other Guy’s policy while on foreign soil. But Romney looks forward to implementing a new, improved, deeply patriotic foreign policy: Strength, Through Resolve! Because what makes China so strong, today, is their tremendous commitment to free enterprise…
It’s like somebody put all the preferred neoconservative buzzwords, plus a dictionary of MBA-speak, into a blender set on Puree. (Also, LovelySpouseAnn seriously needs to work on her “adoring political helpmeet” expression. Not every presidential candidate’s wife can be Nancy Reagan, but right now Ann would lose a competition with Laura Bush.)
Maybe, as Jon Chait suggests, “Mitt the Underminer” generally feels that we mortal meatsacks just do not meet his standards:
… Romney is a rich, handsome, successful man who has to slog through all kinds of tedious crap to achieve his goal of being president….
The undermining gaffe occurs when Romney is trying to ingratiate himself with somebody, yet can’t help but point out that their standards of excellence don’t rise to his own. Sucking up to people is just a completely unnatural act for him.
Speaking of unnatural acts, if Seattle’s Stranger and Jesus’ General are to be believed, one of Romney’s handlers needs to explain to him that certain social norms have changed since the Victorians made up sentimental doggeral about “Good King Wenceslas“.
Not that those handlers aren’t acting a little shell-shocked already:
After a disastrous 48-hour news cycle in London, the Romney campaign “wants the world to know” that they are prepared for a “Saturday Obama Surprise,” of unknown specifications.
“We want to communicate to the world that we are ready for whatever they throw at us,” a Romney adviser told BuzzFeed unsolicited…
When asked why Romney’s camp expected a sneak attack from the Obama campaign, the advisor said their guard was up because of “how they’ve conducted themselves in the past.”
So far, the campaign’s preparations have entailed assembling an army of surrogates to fill the message void while Romney is out of the country, unable to attack Obama himself because “politics end at the water’s edge.”
The surrogates — including several of the names mentioned to be on Romney’s VP shortlist — “are ready to contribute to driving the economic message – with no apologies,” the adviser said. “We understand the other side doesn’t want to talk about the economy, but we’re not going to let them get us off message.”
Seriously, guys: Are you going to try and convince us that Romney needs help going “off message”?
Triassic Sands
Pucker up Piers.
These guys have no shame. Morgan sounds like he’s been hired to help polish Romney’s image.
Phylllis
I stand before you a humble man, all choked up with humbleness and humility.
Darkrose
So wait…now he’s not an incompetent affirmative action hire, or a Chicago thug, but a mysterious and magical Negro? Pick a narrative and stick with it!
Or don’t. This is pretty entertaining.
arguingwithsignposts
Is it really possible for a Presidential Campaign to launch a “sneak” attack? How does that work, exactly?
NotMax
Romney to press: SQUIRREL!
Narcissus
Maybe Romney is actually not a real person, but a person-suit for a small alien which sits in his head.
Kane
For a candidate and a campaign that constantly says that they want to talk about the economy, they sure do spend a lot of time not talking about the economy.
The Right Honorable Member for, the Very Reverend Mother, Her Duchal Serene Highness. Dr. Hortense Sussudio Fuuckerfaaster
i’ve been posting his videos here for years, but they keep getting better Jasiri X Do We Need to Start a Riot
if this weren’t a parody site, he might get front paged.
Raven
Some people are not happy with the NHS promo at the opening ceremonies.
“Within a day he was dead. Dead because NHS hospital staff refused to give a sick man a glass of water. We are not talking some powerful prescription drug. Just a small glass of tap water.
TS
@Narcissus:
I am seriously worried about myself because I am beginning to think this is possible.
TheMightyTrowel
@Raven: I don’t think the entities which write for teh Daily
NaziMail are people, per se. Perhaps large slugs animated by rage or meaty sacks of fear and hatred are better descriptors.Joey Maloney
@TS: Anyone seen Mitt with his jacket off lately?
Raven
@TheMightyTrowel: And then there is this:
“And then, in amidst the pride and the glory, in blundered Aidan Burley. “The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen – more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state!”, snarled the Conservative MP from Cannock Chase. “Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap. Bring back red arrows, Shakespeare and the Stones!”, he added.
OK, Aidan Burley is something of a unique political specimen. Last time he appeared on the nation’s radar was after he hired an SS costume for his friend’s stag do, and chanted “Hitler! Hitler! Hitler!” during dinner.”
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danhodges/100173095/london-olympics-2012-opening-ceremony-can-the-aidan-burleys-of-this-world-not-drop-the-politics-for-three-hours/
kay
@arguingwithsignposts:
It’s so nuts. What are they, at summer camp? They thought the Obama campaign would be working collaberatively with them? Checking with them first?
All this blather means as a practical matter is they send Bobby Jindal to states where no one knows who he is when Romney is on vacation or out of town. That’s the genius MBA plan when you strip away all the big talk.
Bobby Jindal and a bus.
Jindal drew 25 people to an event outside Toledo, which is like the county GOP chair plus the central committee members. The national political press didn’t report the number, but the local paper did. The number was just missing from the ABC report.
It was suburban Toledo, too, where Romney is supposed to be popular.
Frankensteinbeck
By ALL MEANS talk about the economy. Obama is already eating your lunch on that one. Make it an issue, and we’ll hear non stop about shipping jobs oversees and how tax cuts on the rich led to a recession. I really, really would be grateful if you let us make that the topic of the public discussion. I got the impression you were hiding from that subject because you’ve figured out you’re destroying the basis of the GOP’s entire message for the last 30 years.
Weaselone
@Frankensteinbeck:
I don’t think you understand what Romney means by “talk about the economy”. He doesn’t mean talking about his and President Obama’s actual economic policies and their relative merit. He just wants to be able to pin all the blame for the current state of the economy on the President and have everyone unquestionably agree that a Romney Presidency would fix the mess Obama made.
kay
@Frankensteinbeck:
Does Romney himself do as many campaign/ public events as Obama? I don’t think he does. I see he does closed fundraisers, but I rarely see HIM holding a campaign event. I see a lot of GOP/Fox News celebrities who come from out of town. National surrogates. The kind of Republicans that appear at CPAC.
In the Clinton/Obama race, and again in the Obama/ McCain race, they compared campaign events, how many times each candidate ventured out to meet actual voters. Why don’t we see that comparison between Romney and Obama?
Valdivia
Was I the only one severely annoyed by the negative ads from the RNC? and maybe Crossroads? They kept playing for the first hour a few times. ugh.
arguingwithsignposts
@Valdivia: Must be some of that UNLIMITED CORPORATE VICTORY CASH!11! we’ve been hearing about. Living without a TV has its benefits.
It would be almost impossible for NBC to screw up anything worse in this Olympics than they did the opening ceremonies, what with refusing to show it live and then cutting away to commercials during parts of the ceremony itself. (apart from tying live streaming options to a cable/teleco operator).
Baud
When Romney bought out all those companies while at Bain, he probably had limited contact with the rank and file employees. He doesn’t understand why the same rules don’t apply to running for President.
TheMightyTrowel
@Raven: You know, it’s like the racist fuckers who’ve crawled out of the woodwork since O was elected. It makes me ashamed to be part of the human race, but I knew there were people (and certainly Tories) who find that an appropriate and entirely justified reaction and I’m almost happier when they say it aloud so the rest of us can point, laugh and keep them out of power.
Valdivia
@arguingwithsignposts:
because I live in DC the bombardment of ads for the Virginia market has begun. It never ends. I hate CU. I can’t imagine how it is in Ohio and Florida.
Jamey
And there it is: The essential point about Mitt Romney.
NotMax
@Narcissus
Almost fully expect, if one of the networks does one of those video walk-throughs at any one of the Romney houses, to see a rack full of “World’s Greatest Simulacrum” mugs presented to Mitt from his kids over various Father’s Days.
NotMax
@kay
Frankly, because that sort of stuff is usually penciled in as filler by the MSM for after the conventions, when they are both officially nominees.
Baud
Yes, because Obama’s people aren’t aware that you never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. So they’ll come up with a “surprise” that will change the conversation from Romney’s complete ineptitude. And they’ll do it on a Saturday — during the height of the vacation season and on the first full day of the Olympics — because that’s when Americans are really paying attention to the presidential race. It’s brilliant.
Obama’s so sneaky.
kay
@Valdivia:
They’re making a lot of money. They have to offer candidate committees lower rates, but that doesn’t apply to Superpacs. They’re charging superpacs 4x the commercial rate in Columbus, OH, according to Bloomberg. Bloomberg described it as “gauging”.
The FEC wanted to put a new rule in, where TV stations would have to post political ad buys online, so people could see who was spending and who was benefitting from this, but media companies are fighting the rule change.
So they’re bemoaning money in politics publicly while fighting disclosure on how they’re benefitting.
Valdivia
@kay:
lovely, and in the end we are the ones that end up suffering. I have to say that if I were one of those undecided voters I would be truly annoyed and pissed about all those ads interrupting my down time.
Scott
And yet, they’re apparently tied in the polls.
As the old SNL skit goes, “I can’t believe we’re losing to this guy.”
Kane
The regurgitation of the same failed economic and foreign policies that were soundly rejected in 2008 aren’t about to excite anyone in 2012. But rather than adapt his policies to a changing world, Romney is convinced that all that is needed is a new marketing slogan to make the sale.
Donut
@Jamey:
It’s actually a pretty simple thing – Romney doesn’t really grasp that the campaign is a job interview. I’ve met more than one person born into money who has the same kind of problem. Whenever someone has something they want, but which cannot be bought, or obtained by connection, they don’t quite know how to act. They have not really learned much of the social etiquette that goes into charming people and convincing them to give you something you need or want. The Romneys are finding themselves in all kinds of situations now where their cash means shit. Working a rope line, actually relating to people, etc, all the bullshit that goes into retail politics, it is very difficult for them. It’s very difficult for most people, for that matter. Politcal skill is in part having or projecting charisma, being “naturally” attractive, so that the voter you are trying to woo understands or believes that you really give a shit about them. You know, the whole empathy thing. It’s no wonder he struggled so much in the early primary/caucus states where retail contact is so crucial. The guy has never had to actually compete for any job, other than senator, governor and president, and he’s barely been able to win one office.
Comrade Nimrod Humperdink
OOOOOOOOh, guys, guys! The dressage events are on in London!
Comrade Nimrod Humperdink
And the commentator is delightfully stuffy. Granted I’m watching from Australia, but, gotta respect a sport with top hats….
NonyNony
@arguingwithsignposts:
I think by “sneak attack” they mean “campaign commercial where Romney’s words are thrown back into his face”.
I can kind of see why after 48 hours of Romney making an ass of himself they would expect to see the Obama campaign pick up on some clips of Romney, stick them together and make a commercial about Romney’s ineptitude at the Olympics. Because that’s probably what they would do. Had Obama made those kinds of unforced errors, they’d already have an ad out with clips strung together, possibly with Yakety-Sax playing in the background.
I’d be surprised if they did that, though. Because with the Internet the campaign doesn’t have to spend money on stuff like that – there are thousands (if not millions) of amateur humorists cracking jokes at Romney’s expense.
NancyDarling
@Narcissus: I look at him and I see empty eyes and a shit-eating grin. It’s like his soul has checked out. Maybe he is a pod person.
Mark S.
Rick Santorum doesn’t think Paterno and Penn St. did anything wrong.
Comrade Nimrod Humperdink
@Mark S.: Of course not. And neither has the Catholic Church. Joe Pa may not have been Joe Ratzinger, but he was close, after all.
mamayaga
Apparently the Romney campaign is continuing his bid for gold in the Diplomacy Fail event. Via this diary at dkos (http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/07/28/1114494/-Romney-Campaign-London-Mayor-Eccentric-and-Odd-and-Romney-Not-Briefed-for-Magnitude-of-Trip): someone in his campaign decided to further insult Boris Johnson by saying he “…lived up to his reputation as an eccentric, odd fellow. It was unbecoming to attack Governor Romney in that way. There really was no need. But Johnson made it clear in 2008 that his vote would have gone to Obama.”
This Romney operative also said, “… the Romney campaign had not prepared sufficiently for ‘a visit of this magnitude’ and that the candidate had not been briefed properly on how to answer questions about the staging of the Olympics.” Apparently, it didn’t occur to them that the Mittbot might need a basic courtesy upgrade before parading on the world stage.
fleem
problem is, nothing he does matters. was it jon stewart who said that mitt could sodomize a goat on national tv and it wouldn’t affect the polls one iota? they’ve made it so that engaging on any of the facts is completely irrelevant, no matter how egregious the lies and gaffes are.(sorry for all lc; wp plays badly with my phone)
El Cid
This isn’t a new perspective, certainly not for many here, but it’s good it’s getting a bit more notice: Krugman highlights Fred Kaplan on Slate (link is to K-Thug) that Romney’s business experience is about being a mean and duplicitous asshole.
Romney generally doesn’t understand why he has to speak to all these peasants when the people who have significant worth ought to just be letting him take over the national government so that he can get to the important work of partitioning it down and selling off its assets while cutting off its obligations.
AxelFoely
@The Right Honorable Member for, the Very Reverend Mother, Her Duchal Serene Highness. Dr. Hortense Sussudio Fuuckerfaaster:
lolwut? Some of ya’ll slay me with these usernames. Been tempted to change mine, too.
Randy P
Follow that Jesus’ General link, folks. It’s one more peek into the strange way Romney thinks. Basically he thought the baristas in a Starbucks would be honored to drink his half-finished hot chocolate in lieu of a tip.
artem1s
well, obviously, Michelle is there and hasn’t spent the last 48 hours offending the host country and, well, everyone within earshot. ’cause those people, you know how sneaky they are being all normal and naturally pleasant and everything.
mapaghimagsik
@NotMax:
now I have to explain why I was laughing At my tablet. Luckily there’s free shipping on internets today.
rikyrah
@kay:
you are right, kay.
but, nobody will talk about how the First Lady gets more people to campaign events than Willard does, let alone the President.
rikyrah
@Donut:
good point.
pseudonymous in nc
@Raven:
The Daily Mail: anti-NHS, pro-Hitler. Fuck ’em.
And yes, the American press seems to be too polite/craven to note the fundamental weirdness of the Mittbot in the company of actual humans.
quannlace
I think they mean: ” “are ready to contribute to driving the economic message – with no actual facts or plans.”
kevin
I’m beginning to wonder if Willard is mildly autistic . . .
Thoughtcrime
All Obama has to do is point and laugh.
jprfrog
I wish I had come up with this one, but I saw it on a comment thread in the NYT:
The Poles are making Mitt jokes.
SRW1
Looks like the Romney camp is running a campaign consultancy rather than a campaign. You know, people who think they know a lot about how to do The Thing, talk a lot about how to do The Thing, get paid a lot for talking about how to do The Thing, and when it gets to implementation, they don’t know where the on and off switches are.
grandpa john
@arguingwithsignposts:
Especially since it is the middle of the campaign season when attacks are launched every day,Evidently Mitt has surrounded himself with Idiots and Morons
grandpa john
@Jamey:
Its a role reversal for him. In the past he was always the one being sucked up to
grandpa john
@Baud: So the surprise attack then is not attacking clever. when the other team is doing a masterful job of fucking up, by all means don’t call a time out.
Frankensteinbeck
@Scott:
They’re not tied, not really and not in the important ways. Obama is hated with a visceral passion in deeply Red States, and the numbers that hate produces are so high they mask that electorally, if you look state by state, he’s kicking Romney’s ass. The numbers haven’t budged for months, either, although every time an outlier poll looks like they have it’s screamed to the hills.
Amir Khalid
Who is Willard Mitt Romney? Draco Malfoy* (per a Balloon Juice commenter). Captain of the Bain Crimson Permanent Assurance for 15 or 18 years, depending on whether you believe him or the papers he signed. The kind of American who shouldn’t leave the country (per Carl Lewis). Mr Bean; a man devoid of charm, warmth, humor and sincerity (per the British). What could the Obama campaign possibly say about him now that’s worse than these things?
Haydnseek
“Sneak attack” indeed. Shorter surrogate: “How dare a sitting POTUS campaign for re-election! Just the sort of thing you would expect from an uppity pretender who simply doesn’t understand how to behave around his betters…”
GARY CAMPBELL
@kay: They are so inept. It makes me laugh out loud.
I don’t know why Romney doesn’t just throw up his hands and quit. It’s like the guy has 3 left feet and one of them is in his mouth all the time!
He’s worse than Bush!
Scott
@Frankensteinbeck: For cripesakes, I hope you’re right. Just the thought of this big phony being elected makes me wonder about the overall mental health of a significant portion of the population.
The Republicans don’t even like him, they just hate Obama.
Why? I don’t necessarily think it’s racism(not for a lot of them), but it’s because he’s NOT incompetent the way Bush was. They want SO badly for him to be, but he’s not.
So they lie and distort, constantly.
GARY CAMPBELL
@NonyNony: You probably correct about the world making jokes, I’m thinking.
The guy is an absolute buffoon!
Let’s just hope the republicans don’t pull a shitcheroo at their convention and change candidates and select a real winning team – Palin/Jindal 2012!
That would cause earthquakes from laughter!
But, hey, it’s POSSIBLE!
xian
@mamayaga: Mitt can never fail. He can only be failed. By his minions.
NonyNony
@Frankensteinbeck:
I wouldn’t get too sanguine about the numbers not moving much – the truth is that they rarely move much until after the conventions. Outside the political junkies and the hardcore partisans (who had mostly made up their minds in November 2008 on who they were going to vote for this year and haven’t moved since), nobody pays attention to silly season political shenanigans over the summer. Numbers won’t really start moving until after both candidates get their predictable “post-convention bounce” narrative poll numbers out of the way and the post-convention ad blitz starts.
There are important strategic polls that the campaigns should be using to decide where to put manpower on the ground and where they look weak and where their opposition looks weak. But outside of a global disaster or a SERIOUS campaign gaffe (like Mitt Romney getting caught mocking evangelical Christians for not believing in the obvious truth of his religion) the overall national polling is not predictive and not very useful to us mere observers.
grandpa john
@Frankensteinbeck:
Everybody who tends to follow polls should take some time to read Nate Silvers archives from 2008 elections.Some dimportant things I learned from reading his blog back before he joined the NYT are as follows, there are other also
1. the important polls are the ones from the swing states, they have changed little in the last several months.
2. All polls have built in bias in some way. therefore no one poll in itself is that important or predictive of any outcome.
3.national polls are for the purpose of maintaining the medias horse race headlines not just this year but every recent election, and some polls will be outliers simply because random selection is going to give different results at different times.
4. Polls that don’t give their methodology or crosstabs are worthless and suspect. If you don’t know who is being polled or how they are picked to be polled the poll is meaningless
5. Pollsters like politicians will lie to you, there are many ways to manipulate the demographics of who they poll in order to get a desired result, That is why crosstabs and methodology are important to know
Frankensteinbeck
@Scott:
The way my opinion has evolved is that they would hate any Democratic president, but they’ve gone completely the fuck off the deep end, deranged and suicidal, because of the racism element.
@NonyNony:
I’m fine with that. To know Mitt is to hate him. That is VERY well established. There’s only one way for polls to move, and that’s in our favor.
moonbat
I love it. The Romney campaign is now indulging in the preemptive whine. Pretty soon they are going to be running to the MSM like it was MOM crying, “Mom, make the mean blah man stop hitting me!”
danielx
At the rate Mittens is going, Obama could play golf from now until November and win by five points. He doesn’t need any Saturday surprises.
The Marquis is fundamentally incapable of empathizing with average people, i.e.; those who do not have the wherewithal to make six figure (or more) campaign donations.
Shawn in ShowMe
@Scott:
I’ll let you in on a little secret. A charismatic Democratic president who polls in a “dead heat” five months out is ahead by a comfortable margin in the reality-based world. Facts have a liberal bias.
Tehanu
This guy sounds exactly like the snotty assistant principal at my junior high, yelling at the kids for not “conducting” themselves “like ladies and gentlemen.”
@Frankensteinbeck:
Exactly right. Thanks for summing it up so well.
Carol from CO
It’s like somebody put all the preferred neoconservative buzzwords, plus a dictionary of MBA-speak, into a blender set on Puree.
Then took the lid off while it was still running.
NancyDarling
@kevin: I have thought the same thing. I had an acquaintance who had a son with Aspergers. He functioned well academically, but I remember them drilling him with pictures of different facial expressions and what they meant. He was pretty clueless on an emotional level. He is doing quite well today due to loving parents and a lot of work.
Ruckus
@Triassic Sands:
Morgan sounds like he’s been hired to help polish Romney’s image.
He’s there to polish something of mittens. A knob perhaps?
Sorry but that was a slow pitch right across the plate.
Ruckus
@GARY CAMPBELL:
If you ask the last person who was in line to hire him(that guy the beer heiress married) he is worse than Sara P. Now that’s scrapping the bottom of the barrel.
Rathskeller
@NonyNony: you are absolutely right. I’m seeing a new doctor yesterday, consulting on an issue. Sweet old guy. He was laughing until tears came, recounting the mistakes Romney had made in England.
Mike G
One of Rmoney’s main selling points is that he staged the SLC Winter Olympics, yet he needs to be “properly briefed” on how to answer questions about this strange foreign subject “staging of the Olympics” that he couldn’t possibly be expected to know anything about.
Scott
This Olympics thing bugs me just because the MSM have their narrative that Romney “Saved the Olympics”. Even Mika was parroting this line on Morning Squint(Thank You, Charlie Pierce. I love you like a brother.)
What they always fail to mention is the taxpayer dollars that did the “saving”. Why is that?
Romney made his fortune by screwing people over, privatizing the profits and socializing the losses, whether in public enterprise or private enterprise.
He only wants to be president to wear the crown, like W.
Fortunately, the debates will expose him for the charlatan he is. And I can’t wait.
mclaren
No, Anne, the actual Romney platform you’re looking for is “Strength through unity!”
And it should be spoken in the original German.