Yes, I did tell you so, but also that will probably be Rick Santorum’s working campaign slogan for 2016. And Foster “Aspirin As Birth Control” Friess is gonna bankroll him, again, per Robert Costa at the Washington Post:
Foster Friess, a wealthy conservative donor whose funds propelled Rick Santorum’s 2012 presidential campaign, will host a private gathering in Scottsdale, Ariz., this weekend to rally support behind Santorum’s potential 2016 bid.
A group of Republican business executives, as well as GOP consultants from South Carolina and Iowa, are scheduled to have conversations with Santorum about his strategy and with Friess about financing a national political operation…
Santorum – a former Pennsylvania senator who won 11 primaries and caucuses during his insurgent 2012 campaign – will argue that his populist economic pitch and conservative following would make him a formidable contender in the primaries, aides said.
In an e-mail exchange last week with The Washington Post, Friess said that 20 Republican governors invited him to their inaugural celebrations this month, including a potential Santorum rival, Gov. Scott Walker (R-Wis.).But, he added, “I am clearly in the Santorum camp.”…
Always with the potty-mouth jokes, you Godless secular humanists!
John Stoehr, at Washington Monthly, explains why “Santorum Should Be the Front-Runner“:
… [T]he most important thing is this: Santorum came in second in 2012. That matters greatly in a top-down organization like the GOP and party bosses have historically honored that.
For years now, the Republican who came in second the first time came in first the second time. That happened with Bob Dole in 1996, John McCain in 2008 and Mitt Romney 2012, all loyal establishment men. But there’s a crucial difference. Santorum is not only the heir apparent; he’s also a hard-core conservative who won’t have the obvious vulnerabilities that doomed Dole, McCain and Romney. The last runner-up to embody the imprimatur of the establishment as well as the conservative base was Ronald Reagan.
I don’t mean to suggest that Santorum is the second-coming of Reagan. Far from it. 1980 is not 2016, and the conditions necessary for the rise of Barry Goldwater’s ideological heir are no longer evident, no matter how much Republicans argue to the contrary. But I do mean to suggest that Santorum is likely aware of this symmetry, and that he’s going to leverage it….
From the Washington Post, again:
… Santorum, who rose to national prominence as an ambitious lawmaker and culture warrior, would aim to carve out his own space as a voice for working-class voters who can speak to the rising gap between the rich and the poor. Last year, he published a book, “Blue Collar Conservatives,” a manifesto for the campaign he envisions.
In February, Santorum will publish “Bella’s Gift,” about his young daughter, Isabella, who has a chromosomal disorder called Trisomy 18 and was hospitalized during Santorum’s 2012 campaign.
“Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” was the first big fundamentalist pop-culture hit in America; Deacon Santorum believes he can succeed by unveiling the old trope for a new audience. He will not be reduced, like lesser godbotherers culture warriors, to chastising saucy Negro entertainers and the President’s parental skills for attention. He need not fear that his children will publicly embarrass him by abusing domestic pets. Especially not his precious little snowflake, Bella. CHUSE LYFE!… and make out those ‘love offerings’ to SANCTORUM ’16.
max
Yes, I did tell you so
Did you tell me so first, or did I tell you so first? (Then again, maybe I told somebody else so first, in which case, all bets are off.)
Bqhatevwr!
There’s only one thing to say, isn’t there?
max
[‘NEWT! NEWT! NEWT!’]
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
My dogs are already looking worried.
and Google techs everywhere rejoice.
Felonius Monk
Gonna be fun watching Hike Muckabee trying to wipe the Santorum off his shoes.
Mike in NC
It really is his turn. How rude of idiots like Rmoney and Baby Doc to denigrate that GOP tradition.
catclub
If you ignore losing his senate re-election bid by 18%, so he cannot really promise to carry it. Romney at least carried Utah.
catclub
@Mike in NC: GWBush was not next in line in 2000.
fuckwit
MAN ON DOG!! MAN ON DOG!!
http://www.spreadingsantorum.com/
Tommy
How can any of the high-priced consultants Santorum will hire can look him in the eye and say, “we think you have a chance to be President of the United States Mr. Santorum” and not laugh until they curl up in the fetal position on the floor, fall out of their chairs, or spit coffee across the room is beyond me.
MikeBoyScout
Did somebody say Santorum? Yuck
Wag
America has been very good this year for God to bring us the gift of a frothy candidacy for the upcoming two years. The entertainment value is immeasurable
srv
@MikeBoyScout: Imagine if we all knew a digital librarian at a pr0n site that could hastag Santorum to every video in the library…
Hey, Major Major….
GregB
I love the media. According to their narrative the Democrats just had their future bench destroyed because they are no longer viable after losing in 2014.
Yet the sun never sets on perennial loser Slick Rick.
Smell the Santorumentum!
Cervantes
Can you please not drag that kid into this conversation? She’s only seven, is struggling with a congenital disorder, and has done nothing to justify being mocked in this way.
What use her father cares to make of her is on his conscience. If we cannot help her, and it seems we cannot, then surely we can simply and graciously let her be.
Roger Moore
No, he’ll have a completely different set of obvious vulnerabilities that doomed him in 2012, like being such an unlikable scold that even the Republicans didn’t want him.
Birthmarker
The guy was a hard c away from blowing his entire political career. At the time to me he seemed exhausted and out of it. We’ll see how it goes. Seems to me like good news for the dems.
Omnes Omnibus
@Cervantes: Co-sign.
Roger Moore
@Tommy:
It’s very simple, really. Those campaign conslutants are professional liars. You can’t imagine making that blatant of a lie because you have morals, ethics, and a conscience. If you could just get rid of those things, you too could make bank as a professional yes man.
Yatsuno
@MikeBoyScout: That sound you hear is Dan Savage licking his chops.
Redshift
@Roger Moore: But one thing you can be sure of, no matter his conservative credentials, if he loses, it will be because he’s not a True Conservative.
Culture of Truth
I’ll say this in favor: on some level, he’s a true believer. On the other hand, he’s a true idiot.
Wag
@Cervantes:
This
catclub
@Roger Moore: Yglesias pointed out that 1) The seven top guys on Romney’s team were paid more than anyone on the Obama team. and 2) Romney has a bank of rich conservative Mormons who will fund him, but probably no one else.
The yes men will be happy to tell him he needs to run again and they will be his staff.
Omnes Omnibus
@Culture of Truth:
PotAYto, PotAHto.
Culture of Truth
@Roger Moore: Well, also of course, there’s the money.
Tommy
@Roger Moore: Oh so true. I have an MA in Journalism with a focus in PR and I got the Department to also let me take a number of 400 level and grad course in the Political Science department that would count to my degree. I wanted to be a political consultant. Out of grad school I got a job working for Kathleen Kenndy Townsend (yes Robert’s daughter) when she was first running for Lt. Governor of Maryland (she would win twice).
I was told the first day it was my job to get her mobbed by lower income African Americans in inner city Baltimore, because a Kennedy getting mobbed by “blacks” would make for a good photo op. I didn’t even make it working for her for two weeks. As I would later joke there wasn’t enough hot water in the state of Maryland to wash the filth off of me after a day of working.
So I took a few steps up in ethics and went and started working at ad agencies :)!
Mnemosyne (iPad Mini)
@Cervantes:
I think AL is trying to point out the way the kid’s parents drag their disabled daughter around as a political prop, but I agree that she could have been more precise about who in that equation was being slammed.
Culture of Truth
@Omnes Omnibus: True, but they’d be much better off nominating an unprincipled corrupt evil genius.
Brian R.
I hate Santorum with the heat of a thousand suns, but this …
… is a pathetic cheap shot.
And also where I knew it had to be a post by AL.
Omnes Omnibus
@Culture of Truth: But they are idiots, so Rih has a shot.
Villago Delenda Est
@Cervantes: Her own father has dragged her into this.
Not her fault, but her father is scum. Or, if you will, santorum.
Omnes Omnibus
@Villago Delenda Est: We don’t need to stoop to his level, do we?
waspuppet
Santorum’s “populist economic pitch” is “Giving rich people tax breaks is good for working people!” as opposed to the establishment pitch “Giving rich people tax breaks is good for THEM and who cares what you think shut up.” Not exactly a huge difference in substance, but when all you need is a cover for your racism, I guess it’ll do.
Violet
@Cervantes: Agreed. Leave the kids out of it. It’s not their fault who their parents are. Until they become adults, and only then if they also decide to become public figures, they should be left alone.
Calouste
Not counting primaries, S*nt*r*m hasn’t actually won an election this century.
TheMightyTrowel
OT: I do alumni interviews for my UG university. Usually they’re pretty bland, but I just spent 40 minutes talking with one of the most repulsive young men i’ve ever had the chance to interview. Wow. He was seriously put out when it became clear that I hadn’t googled him and he had to explain his particular brand of internet stardom to me in words. His main reason for wanting to go to my uni: “the prestige of course”. Gross.
Omnes Omnibus
@TheMightyTrowel: #humblebrag.
FlyingToaster
If RMoney and Jeb! are sucking up the other money (and is Adelson in jail, yet?), then Santorum is a shoo-in.
Jeebus.
I’ve been betting on Rih, versus HerrDoktorToaster’s bet on TailGunnerTed. But this is going to have to be a Tardis of a clown car to fit all of the upcoming idiocy into it.
And yes, the candidate is bringing his daughter into it. And no matter how high we hold our noses in the air, he’s still (virtually) waving her about like a flag. I find that immoral, and want to call him on it.
GregB
Add me to the leave the kids out of it club.
Just Some Fuckhead
Santorum keeps coming in the second place but he will never never never be number one. The best he can hope for is a place on the big guys staff, if he plays his hole card right.
Alison
Oh jeez. Can’t this guy just go away? Go run a Biblical theme park or something and leave the rest of us alone.
I do wonder, with people like him and Huckabee…it’s possible that marriage equality will be the law of the land within the year. So will they actually run a national campaign on somehow undoing that? And how? Like…if it happens under this SCOTUS, how would they imagine reversing it? And as hateful and homophobic as they are, do they really want to traipse around the country explaining how they, the family values devotees, are going to do their damnedest to tear apart happy married couple and their families?
I mean…they probably will. Because they are fuckers. But it won’t make them president.
Tree With Water
Santorum had his children bid farewell to their mother’s miscarried fetus. What else does anyone really need to know about the guy? And Foster Freiss sounds like a Batman villain..or an SS guard.
MomSense
You called this one, AL.
Wonder if he will bring back the sweater vests this time around.
Mike G
@Roger Moore:
Campaign consultants remind me of those PR firms that take on third world dictators as clients. “You personally killed and ate political dissidents? No problem, we can burnish your image!”
Citizen_X
Yeezus, whatta nimrod. Despite everything else, Reagan was a world-class smiley-faced bullshitter. Santorum, in contrast, is a dim, sanctimonious, angry little church lady. He ain’t going nowhere.
PurpleGirl
@Citizen_X: Church lady is a good description of him.
I wonder if he is still attending a Roman Catholic church. After all, I’m surprised we didn’t hear of his head exploding on the election of Pope Francis. And Pope Francis is making a trip to Philadelphia sometime this year, IIRC.
Gordon, the Big Express Engine
@Just Some Fuckhead: I see what you did there
feebog
I just don’t know how to handicap the Republican Field at this point. In 2012 it was pretty apparent that Mittens was simply going to carpet bomb anyone who got in his way. It helped that the only other guy who came across as sane was TPaw and he dropped out before the Iowa caucus. Jeb! is going to raise a shitload of money, and as we see with Frothy, all it takes is one Billionaire who is willing to play Fairy Godmother to put even the looniest of the loons into contention. The only three I am counting out right now is Perry (too dumb) Christie (indictment looming) and Rubio (empty suit). Oh wait, and Jindal, (too brown).
Anne Laurie
@Cervantes: On the one hand, you’re right, it’s not the kid’s fault. On the other hand, it looks like she’s going to be the focus of her dad’s “book” (book-shaped political souvenir) tour, so it’s going to get at least as exploitative as Palin holding up Baby Trig as a object of veneration for her followers. It’s like a political version of the old comedy “ya wouldn’t hit a man wearing glasses, wouldya?” trope… either the one addressed does hit the speaker, or the speaker takes advantage of his hesitation to sucker-punch his opponent.
Adam
@feebog:
No such thing as too dumb for a R primary. Perry train wreck had just as much to do with him showing empathy towards dreamers as much as anything. If he is able to atone for that lapse into basic humanity he definitely has a chance.
Karmus
@Cervantes: Thank you.
C Nelson Reilly
@Gordon, the Big Express Engine: I concur. Masterful execution and polite golf claps all around!
Villago Delenda Est
@Omnes Omnibus: All AL was doing was pointing out the obvious…that Santorum will drag his kids into it if he thinks it will help. This goes beyond the usual march the family up to the podium and smile thing that nearly every politician will do.
Santorum has no shame at all in doing this to his daughter.
I don’t think AL was attacking the daughter at all. She was attacking the blatant use of the daughter as a political prop.
pseudonymous in nc
@Villago Delenda Est:
The kids have been props right through, as TBogg memorialised, but that goes back to when he was billing Pennsylvania for his kids’ education in Virginia.
Yes, the GOP has gone for the runner-up as of late, but Santorum hasn’t been in elected office since… January 2007. Eight years ago. Same as RMoney. Same as Jeb! But unlike those two, he hasn’t won an election since 2000. That’s a fucking long time ago, and it matters. He’ll be there for entertainment value, and probably force whoever wins the clown show into all sorts of contortions, but he won’t win the thing.
NotMax
As proficient a candidate as he is a filmmaker.
piratedan
I can always hope that the GOP klown Kar will find a way to being in a fender bender and these fuckers are found to be without insurance. Sadly, they get a pass in the press and yet when they fuck up by the numbers, the press goes into whocouldanode mode. It’s amazing just how wrong a political party can be all the time and yet with enough cash, it’s all just glossed over as if real people aren’t hurt by this criminally evil cabal of pompous narcissists.
Frankensteinbeck
‘Please don’t do this.’
‘God hates women!’
‘God hates Negros!’
The man couldn’t put together a campaign team last time. He had no on-the-ground organization. That’s specifically why he lost to Romney. He isn’t getting any more competent, and he’s facing several opponents who can tie their shoes this time, not just one.
@piratedan:
That politics is a game and only idealistic fools think policies are important is the signature trait of national journalists as a class, and it’s why they’re Republicans.
fuckwit
@Tree With Water: Actually, to my west-coast ears, “Foster Freiss” sounds like a tasty milkshake http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foster%27s_Freeze even though he’s quite toxic.
fuckwit
@Just Some Fuckhead: Because, being Santorum, he is just covered in Number Two.
PIGL
@Cervantes: thanks for this reminder.
Botsplainer
@Omnes Omnibus:
Fuck him and his fetus-worshipping, slut-shaming, pedophilic apocalyptic death cult. I want him to get the aversion therapy of scorn and mockery every single time he opens his wannabe cock-socket on any issue of public policy – and am willing to include anything he holds dear.
He deserves nothing less, considering what that latter day Savonarola feels and would do to everyone else.
PIGL
@piratedan: and receive 49% of thé vote, plus or minus 2.
Nutella
@Frankensteinbeck:
If I recall correctly, of all the loudmouths who claimed to be running for the Republican nomination, Romney was the only one who established campaign organizations in all 50 states. We all paid too much attention to the others who made it clear from the beginning that they were not really running for office by failing to perform that fundamental campaign task. I hope this time they’re called out on that but I doubt the MSM will say a word about it.
Frankensteinbeck
@Nutella:
Yep. Either a fix was in – and I doubt it with those egos – or Romney won because he faced a bunch of wildly incompetent clowns. They’re not all bozos on THIS bus. Jeb at lesat will have an organization that makes Romney look like the MBA ninny he is.
Another Holocene Human
@GregB: Slick Rick indeed, some “true Christian,” the Senator from Accuweather who lived with his family in the Commonwealth … of Virginia, not the C’wealth of Penn’a which elected him AND was paying to homeskool his innumerable sprogs.
You’ve got to wonder what other horrible crimes that sweater vest aims to distract us from.
Also, the man who thinks paper towels and paper napkins are fundamentally different in kind … now that’s entertainment.
Another Holocene Human
@Redshift: That’s if and only if he makes it to the general. Congress raised contribution limits to the parties to help insure that won’t happen. And even if they hadn’t the big money men are ready with helicopters of cash to back their establishment friendly pick.
Lurking Canadian
@waspuppet: This. I think there *could be* in theory, room for a Republican to run on a genuinely economically populist but socially conservative ticket. The Democratic establishment seems to prefer to position itself as fiscally responsible and pro-business but socially liberal. There is room to their left on economics.
However, in the universe we inhabit, any plausible Republican candidate could not ever run on a genuinely populist platform, because that would inevitably involve raising taxes on rich people, and that is the One Great Sin.
chopper
@Cervantes:
This reads like you cribbed it from a needlepoint poem hanging over some old lady’s door.
shortstop
@Villago Delenda Est: Yes, he used her as a prop, over and over again — and it’s appropriate to call him out on it. Considering how many times we were reminded that his daughter has already passed her life expectancy, it’s okay to wonder why her father traded spending the precious remaining time with her for a never-gonna-happen try at the presidency. And now he’s doing it again (as he always said he would do). It’s not about her. It’s about what a crappy parent he is, putting his own ego and ambition ahead of his children’s well-being.
I don’t expect it to be a problem for long, however. He’ll be out of the race by February next year.
Snarki, child of Loki
I, for one, look forward to the MSM headlines
“SANTORUM SURGES FROM BEHIND”
Cervantes
@chopper:
1. Did you mean that as a compliment? After all, the older the lady the wiser she is, in general — something to keep in mind.
2. If, sadly, you did not intend a compliment, then I expect you’re trying to offer advice re my prose stylings — for which thanks: I can’t tell you how grateful I am.
3. Don’t look now but your so-called “ignore list” is malfunctioning. I hope you got the extended warranty.
Jinchi
God I hate it when political journalists torture math.
Here’s the best rebuttal: http://xkcd.com/1122/
cokane
Barring some meltdown in the campaign Santorum will be the nominee. He will never be considered the front runner pre-Iowa because of the high profile of guys like Bush, Cruz who will be running. But he will come in first. He’s well positioned between establishment and bonafide conservative.
chopper
@Cervantes:
BWA HA HA HA HA HA
shortstop
@cokane: You don’t comment much, but when you do, it’s unintended comedy gold.
Jebediah, RBG
@feebog:
I vote for baseball bats to the kneecaps.
Cervantes
@Jebediah, RBG:
!
Jebediah, RBG
@Cervantes:
Well, not really, of course. I just want them to finish every race the way a kneecapped runner would finish an Olympic event.
I’m not big on real life, actual acts of violence.
chopper
@Jebediah, RBG:
i was going to say running them down with my car, but i like yours too.
Kathleen
Laugh all you want…and I agree, to us the guy is a joke…but I think an authoritarian, pro-military, “family values” guy who talks a populist game could win a lot of marbles. We can but hope that Santorum is as stupid as we think he is.
Cervantes
@Jebediah, RBG:
Not to worry, I did not think you meant for that to be taken literally. It was just word-play and I liked it. Thanks.