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You are here: Home / Politics / Politicans / Cruz-ifiction / Late Night Open Thread: Among the Whited Sepulchers

Late Night Open Thread: Among the Whited Sepulchers

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While the normal people were busy with more important matters last weekend, the GOP candidates did some high-decibel pandering at Ralph Reed’s annual “Faith & Freedom Conference” — not the Klan version, the one described by professional faith hustler/GOP careerist Reed as “a bridge between the Tea Party movement and evangelical voters”. Some notes, so we’ll remember which Repub said which horrible thing come 2016…

JEB!, throwing aside his usual general-election-friendly reticence on the topic, humped the corpse of Terri Schiavo to general applause. As Mr. Charles P. Pierce reminds us:

… Not to appear cold but, at the time Jeb (!) stepped in and made a bad situation immeasurably worse, Terri Schiavo’s brain had atrophied to the point where “speaking” was far down the list of things she couldn’t do for herself… At the time Jeb (!) stepped in, the people in Ms. Schiavo’s hospice were already under constant siege. A nearby elementary school had been vacated for almost a month due to bomb scares. An $10,000 bounty had been placed on the head of Michael Schiavo, and one guy already had been busted by the FBI for allegedly trying to collect it. Judges had been terrorized. Jeb (!) didn’t care about any of this. (This is not to mention the fact that almost the entire country was begging people like Jeb -!- to butt out.) His dim sibling was president and he was governor of Florida and they believed there was political hay to be made out of keeping a brain-dead woman alive, and that was all that ever mattered…

Politico hacks, very excited!:

… Cruz flat-out owned this event, firing up the crowd like no other candidate did — attendees were still talking about him two days after he spoke. The Texas senator delivered a rousing call to action aimed at the evangelical community, saying that 50 million of them sat home in 2012 but could make the difference in 2016. “If people of faith show up, if we stand for our faith and our liberty and the Constitution, we will win and turn the country around,” he said. To a rapt crowd, Cruz did his best Reagan impression when he promised “Morning is coming. Morning is coming.” And he tore into what he framed as the Obama administration’s assault on religious liberty — a prominent theme at the conference. When Cruz finished, the crowd mobbed him…

But Politico liked Scott Walker’s performance, too also:

… The Wisconsin governor, the son of a preacher, met an enthusiastic crowd as he keynoted the closing session on Saturday night. The audience greeted him with a standing ovation after the president of Concerned Women for America introduced him by ticking through his record of opposition to abortion rights, and the speech itself was punctuated by attendees standing up to applaud. He reiterated his support for religious liberty, and his recitation of his confrontation with unions was well-received. But the biggest and most sustained applause of the night came as the governor offered a hawkish riff on foreign policy, tearing into the Obama administration for its approach to ISIS, Syria and Iran. Walker, who has been seeking to burnish his national security credentials ahead of an all-but-certain presidential run, appeared most energized during that portion of the speech — and the audience responded…

I do believe that the “tell” is how hard Newsmax‘s correspondent was tonguebathing Walker:

Looks like the Koch brothers have succeeded in convincing the professional GOP God-botherers that Walker is the “solidarity” candidate, the Apple to Jeb!’s Mac.

Among the also-rans:

Reader Interactions

42Comments

  1. 1.

    Omnes Omnibus

    not the Klan version, the one described by professional faith hustler/GOP careerist Reed as “a bridge between the Tea Party movement and evangelical voters”.

    So, the difference is robes but no hoods?

  5. 5.

    cckids

    WTF this:

    Catch clip of Gov. Walker’s virtuoso speech on int’l. terrorism at Faith & Freedom dinner Sat.& learn why he’s called “the American Sarkozy”

    I defy you to find one, ONE person who has ever uttered or even thought those words in reference to Walker.

  8. 8.

    RaflW

    Who even remembers who Sarkozy is? I am quite up to speed on politics and international issues and it took me a second to realize/remember this moran was praising a French (as in Freedom Fries) President, and not some Ruskie pal of teenbeat heartthrob Putin.

    And among the Faith and Freedom crowd of rubes? Hah!

  10. 10.

    Gene108

    Interesting, in a Big Lie, sort of way that American Christians feel persecuted.

    I guess it is not a lie, if you think it is true.

  12. 12.

    some guy

    Jack Abramoff’s bag man sure has bounced back from that whole kickbacks from gambling interests thing. did he find Jesus again?

    amazing how often Jesus gets lost. somebody give him a GPS head unit for his car already.

  13. 13.

    piratedan

    based on that reporting, I wonder if the authors could tell us how salty Walker’s balls are… after all, it appears that they’ve washed them thoroughly

  15. 15.

    Redshift

    Why Republicans saw Charleston as an assault on religion, in 1 chart

    Surprisingly, the chart in question is not one showing how many times this BS was pushed on Fox as they desperately tried to avoid any mention of racism.

    Man, the Post’s politics coverage sticks.

  17. 17.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @RaflW: Catch clip of Gov. Walker’s virtuoso speech on int’l. terrorism at Faith & Freedom dinner Sat.& learn why he’s called “the American Sarkozy”

    I can see Walker being considered as an American Sarko (can’t imagine him much liking the comparison) in terms of pro-business, anti-union, “liberal” in the European sense, he cut taxes and not spending, so he could be a French Reagan or Bush, I guess…. but I never remember him doing much about “international terrorism”, as neocons use the term. A quick scroll through his wiki entry only turns up a deal with Qaddafi that American cons would call “appeasement” in 2007, and he was a proponent, in my recollection that principle advocate, of the Libya bombing that fatally weakened Qaddafi. And Hollande is I believe more of an interventionist that Sarkozy was. And it looks like he was/is something a climate hawk.

  18. 18.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist: Okay, I checked his twitter feed, and this sounds more like a coincidence of man-crushes rather than anything to do with any issue(s)

    John Gizzi ‏@ johngizzi Jun 21
    Walker’s Faith & Freedom speech Saturday is akin to Sarkozy’s majestic “May ’68” speech just before his election as president in 2007.

  20. 20.

    NotMax

    “Morning is coming. Morning is coming.”

    Translation: The end of the time of scary blackness is near.

  23. 23.

    Jim, Foolish Literalist

    @Omnes Omnibus: The more I think about it, the more absurd it is: I wish we could know what percentage of FFS attendees, and Gizzi’s Newsmax readers, know who Sarko is, and/or, what “May ’68” refers to, much less that Sarko gave a speech about it almost ten years ago. “He’s called the American Sarkozy (by me and that one fellow-winger who did a junior year abroad in France).”

    I bet Walker called for leadership and resolve, and to take the fight to ISIS, and to keep fighting until he could declare Mission Accomplished! er, I mean, um… Victory!

  24. 24.

    NotMax

    @fuckwit

    Now there’s an entry in the Bulwer-Lytton contest.

    Morning splurted across the land like

    (well, you all can fill in the rest).

  26. 26.

    Death Panel Truck

    Walker, who has been seeking to burnish his national security credentials

    You can’t burnish what you don’t have.

  27. 27.

    Xenos

    @RaflW: Sarko is a bit of a complicated person and while he was the head of a conservative coalition in France his positions do not map well at all onto American politics. He has a successful I-banking brother who travels in some wingnut circles in the US, but that is as far as it goes.

  29. 29.

    Xenos

    @Omnes Omnibus: Sarko’s second wife was (is? it is hard enough to keep up with Holland’s relationships) very glamorous in a very French way. And her singing is very twee in a very French way. I would love to see what the Iowa Republican Party would make of her.

    Case in point:

    youtube.com/watch?v=Me7wlASiKUg

  31. 31.

    Ruckus

    @Death Panel Truck:
    He wants to burnish something, maybe a magic lantern. At least then he’d have a chance of some national security credentials showing up.

    Maybe he thinks if he rubs hard enough his DL will turn into a national security credential. After all a credential is just something that you are given to get into somewhere isn’t it?

  33. 33.

    jl

    Jeb seems caught in some tape delay. Doesn’t seem to be up to date on current rules on retirement age for social security, doesn’t seem to hear news about why race terrorist mass shootings happen (hint: would-be race terrorist wants to start a genocidal race war, but, hey, maybe it’s not a ‘political thing’).

    Has anyone broken the news to Jeb that they did an autopsy on poor Terry Schiavo’s body, and she was, as the qualified doctors who did real exams told us, she was brain dead, most of her brain was not working, it was irreversibly gone. Does he know that? I ask that as a serious question, because I can’t believe he doesn’t know that, but really, he gives a speech like that?

    I don’t want to believe that this supposed sensible moderate is a really a ruthless cynical operator. He seems nice. But.. really. He said that nonsense about Terry Schiavo? it’s really ghoulish and cynical, and ruthless, and dishonest. Did I mention dishonest? He looks so nice, it would be rude to just say he was a cynical liar without hard evidence.

    So, before I go around saying mean things about him, has anyone told Jeb what happened?

  35. 35.

    SectionH

    @NotMax: I don’t have a high opinion of Neil Young’s brainpower, but I always have a tiny sweet spot because fucking L. Skynrd didn’t like him.

    Srsly, re Neil, he’s an idiot, but a friend of ours, an ex-junkie who got out of Narco in Lexington, went on to do good in various local gov./private coop places and basically had a great impact for young black kids (and never ever did the just say no shit). He worked odd jobs on his way. At one point he was a limo driver, and had to drive the Skynrd dudes to a concert at Rupp. They must have been Srsly vile. I never heard him ever say anything that negative about anyone, ever. Them, he made an exception for.

  36. 36.

    Ruckus

    @jl:
    That’s the thing about pompous, arrogant assholes, they can seem nice, until you pay any attention whatsoever. Jeb is a full fledged Bush. In every way possible. That makes him an asshole by far more than association/family genes. No one tells people like him anything he doesn’t want to hear. Which is fine, he wouldn’t listen/understand in any event.
    Plenty of people have stated the obvious in the Schiavo case, time and time again. Before, during and after. But nothing approaching reality can be cajoled, forced or placed in any other way into that thick chunk of protoplasm. He knows what he knows in his gut, just like his brother. Nothing more. Ever.

  38. 38.

    Sm*t Cl*de

    @cckids:

    why he’s called “the American Sarkozy”
    I defy you to find one, ONE person who has ever uttered or even thought those words in reference to Walker.

    Google is no help here. It is almost as if the only person to call him that is John Gizzi himself, now putting his coinage through the Voice Empassiviser to give it a sheen of faux vox-pop.
    If he said “Walker is the American Sarkozy”, he’d be stupid and wrong, but at least he wouldn’t be a gutless sh1tweasel. As it is, he has failed the gutless sh1tweasel test.

    One person who did use the term “American Sarkozy” was Newt Gingrich, back in 2007… to describe himself. So Gizzi is repurposing stealing a Gingrich phrase… one that worked so well for Gingrich.

    The actual “American Sarkozy” was Sarkozy himself. The French took to calling him that, because he seemed to care more about American interests than French ones. So they booted him out. Has Gizzi forgotten that part?

  39. 39.

    Woodrowfan

    @SectionH: original Skynrd or post-airplane crash Skynrd? I always kind of liked the original (other than Sweet Home Alabama, even if it was satire).

  41. 41.

    Paul in KY

    @jl: He didn’t care, because he thought there were political points to score & being a conservative Catholic, they don’t believe in any artificial shortening of ‘life’. They do, it appears, believe in artificial lengthening of ‘life’.

  42. 42.

    White Trash Liberal

    @SectionH:

    Skynrd didn’t like Young because of his lyrics to Southern Man. Sweet Home Alabama expresses solidarity with George Wallace and Richard Nixon.

    Young is wins the intelligence contest by a country mile.

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