The 9pm debate is all about name ID…if @KingJames ran for president he would be in that debate & @JohnKasich would be next to me @greta
— George E. Pataki (@GovernorPataki) August 5, 2015
Kasich walks by a table at a hotel in downtown Cleveland. Dude next to me asks who he is. (Governor of this state.)
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) August 5, 2015
Your National Paper of Record, Americans!…
CLEVELAND — Just over 24 hours before the first Republican primary debate here, more than a dozen Fox News executives and producers gathered Wednesday with their debate moderators — Bret Baier, Megyn Kelly and Chris Wallace — backstage at Quicken Loans Arena for a final run-through of logistics.
“I don’t think anybody knows — maybe he doesn’t know — what you’re going to get from Donald Trump,” Mr. Wallace said after the meeting. “What makes it such compelling television is that sense of, at the very least, uncertainty, and at the very most, danger.”
And so they found themselves, sitting at a long table, trying to minimize danger and uncertainty, while maximizing the sleek and high-octane television for which Fox News has become known. The team had already decided to eliminate opening statements from the field, to save time. Instead, at 9 p.m. sharp, the questions will begin.
To keep the debate on schedule, the Fox team was also discussing a possible alternative to the usual gentle ding sound that signals that a candidate’s time has expired: the actual shot clock buzzer used during Cleveland Cavaliers basketball games, which are played at the same arena….
The WaPo, meanwhile, treats this as just another business convention for the local industry:
Chris Wallace tapped the black three-ring binder resting on the corner of his desk. “I’ve got some doozies in there,” he said, eyebrow raised provocatively…
“There’s so doggone many,” said Wallace, 67, sitting at his desk in Fox’s Washington bureau. The decision to pack the stage was made above his pay grade, he adds. “Will [the debate] be as great as it would be if there were three or four candidates? No. But it’s clear from the polls, people are far from decided.”
But now the decision-making begins, with an event that TV analysts predict could draw the highest ratings in cable-news history. And as the candidates attempt to make their first impressions before a national audience, you can count on the veteran newsman to leave his imprint on this moment by interrupting, prodding and pressing the debaters in his trademark fashion.
“I certainly think my style is adversarial,” he said, absentmindedly pushing his penny loafers around under his desk with socked feet…
I believe it was commentor Gimlet who suggested rolled-up socks for throwing at the tv, as less liable to cause collateral damage than drink glasses…
"Candidates, please describe a situation in which you use lethal force against a home invader. Most vivid wins, please specify the handgun."
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) August 5, 2015
Ted Cruz: this is what i'll do to planned parenthood [tries ripping phone book in half & gives up]
Jake Tapper: the question was about iraq
— raandy (@randygdub) August 5, 2015
@david_j_roth "Walls are for soft men. I would personally stand on the border naked, with a crudgel, intensely red and not mad at all."
— Huge Mantis (@HugeMantis) August 5, 2015
@david_j_roth "Look, we all want to create guns you can have sex with. The question is: how are we going to pay for it?"
— Matt Christman (@cushbomb) August 5, 2015
Then there’s always that one killjoy…
I wonder how much of tomorrow's GOP debates this graph could falsify. pic.twitter.com/WDqU3Zbo3p
— Daniel Drezner (@dandrezner) August 6, 2015
Baud
Fox ? Trump
I’m probably going to miss much of the debate. I was looking forward to the snark.
Major Major Major Major
Oh for fuck’s sake. I’ve been trying to find a way to watch the debate that isn’t at my dad’s place or my place but that’s not working out so I guess it’s one or the other. Anybody in SF got a watch party?
OT:
I’ve basically become the kid from Death Note who stares at things, rocks himself gently back and forth, and is always right. I’m wearing sweat bands. Defcon is getting f*cking weird.
Randy P
@Baud: I think I heard Wonkette is live-blogging. I’m certainly going to be looking for a live snark feed, if not there then elsewhere. I couldn’t handle it undiluted by something and I’m only a one-beer guy at most.
AnonPhenom
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages … The Republican ‘Deep Bench’!
Baud
@Randy P:
Watching Republicans alone is like telling yourself jokes. Pointless.
BillinGlendaleCA
I’m sure the Republicans will note that every time a dem is in office, that graph goes down…
Down is bad? Right?
BillinGlendaleCA
Being that this is a Republican debate, instead of buzzers and bells to let the candidates know that they’ve gone over their allotted time. The moderators should bring a pistol and shoot them if they go over.
bystander
Yesterday’s theater shooter in Nashville is reported to have been a paranoid schizophrenic who had been hospitalized four times.
No wonder I feel like sitting on the deck with a rifle across my lap.
Riggsveda
“Quicken Loans Arena”? Christ. I guess we can eventually look forward to any corporate person with two bucks to rub together slapping its name up on a publicly-financed property: “WeBuyAnyCar Stadium”; “Ace Cash Express Field”; “Bad Credit OK Center”; “Your Name Here Park”. Nice.
TheMightyTrowel
Because timezones I’m going to miss the live show, will be exciting to look at the highlights tomorrow morning.
OT: leaving berlin tomorrow and heading back to Oz. Have really enjoyed my time here!!
bystander
@BillinGlendaleCA: If only we knew an unemployed paranoid schizophrenic off his meds to be the timekeeper.
RK
If it’s not a bore fest I’ll be surprised.
Anne Laurie
@RK: Spoilsport!
I’m hoping the Guardian liveblogs. Don’t think I can bear to watch it unfiltered, especially since it would drive Spousal Unit out of the house within minutes…
Randy P
@BillinGlendaleCA: Now THAT would be ratings gold. I’d even settle for a paint gun. Or water balloons thrown by the other people on stage. Or Nickelodeon-style green slime. The possibilities are endless.
OzarkHillbilly
@Major Major Major Major: Consider a sports bar. Got to be at least as entertaining as any ball game.
JPL
I’m going to depend on this site, as well as Wonkette. There are benefits of not having cable.
Major Major Major Major
@OzarkHillbilly: Except for the part where I live in San Francisco and the Giants are playing, yes.
BillinGlendaleCA
On Morning Joe, they say the President is mean for comparing the Republican caucus, who served this country, to Iranian hardliners.
Anne Laurie
@BillinGlendaleCA: I believe the Republicans have serviced this country, the way a bull “services” a cow.
Major Major Major Major
@Anne Laurie: By providing it with one of the most expensive liquids on the planet?
OzarkHillbilly
@Major Major Major Major: I know, but hey, who cares? Not like they are the Cards or anything.
JPL
@Anne Laurie: Wasn’t it Sen Cotton who suggested we bomb Iran?
RK
@Anne Laurie: Debates are usually tired affairs that don’t change minds. I do expect a bit of snark from Carson though.
Keith G
I make desserts and pastries for a living. And thus I keep baker’s hours. The debate begins exactly at my bedtime. I guess I won’t be needing the rolled up socks.
Oh damn.
Matt McIrvin
Let me guess: after expectations get built up for a bizarre circus, this is going to be the moment when Donald Trump decides to ramble and shout less than usual, and gets canonized as a surprising elder statesman who is totally a serious candidate.
BillinGlendaleCA
@JPL: Yes, but he served his country in Iraq and Joe is quite incensed that the President compared such a patriot to the mullahs in Iran who yell “Death to America”.
Baud
@BillinGlendaleCA:
Good.
Anne Laurie
@Keith G: Y’know, I was waiting up past my bedtime to see if any of you low-minded sorts would make a joke about the Master Debaters shoving a pair down their pants before going on camera…
kindness
I think ‘high octane’ is a poor description of the Fox preference.
High proof is more fitting. If I were to pick I’d give them a 151 Bacardi.
satby
@Baud: No way would I watch. I know I should just enjoy the stupidity, but I would spontaneously combust in rage that these jokers even got as far as a rigged “debate” and are considered by anyone on earth to be presidential timber.
JMG
I wouldn’t watch this unless paid to do so. But I do note that Trump has hundreds of hours more television experience than the other guys.
Baud
@satby:
At least 47% of Americans.
Morzer
I wonder how many teevees are going to be blasted with semi-automatic fire in ‘bagger country. A man might make a quick fortune driving a truck of prime teevees through the right areas as the debate howls on.
Patricia Kayden
@BillinGlendaleCA: Shooting them in the kneecap would work. Although for Trump, you’d have to shoot him and then that thing on his head to get him to shut up.
RSA
On that note, I hope that Fox has taken the security precaution of encouraging audience members to bring a concealed weapon. To ensure that this event is as safe as possible.
Morzer
@Patricia Kayden:
I think you’d have to use a silver stake and holy water on Cthulhu’s little fake-fur cousin.
Patricia Kayden
@JMG: I expect Trump will interrupt the other candidates to share his pearls of wisdom. Won’t be watching either though but looking forward to all the highlights tomorrow.
satby
@Baud: hence the rage.
Baud
@satby:
Don’t you know WaterGirl in real life? She has been missing lately.
RK
@Anne Laurie:
More like Masturbators.
Major Major Major Major
Still bipolar. Yep. Haven’t been up for 20 hours doing math at all. Not even a little bit.
Splitting Image
I’ll bet three and a half quatloos that the TV bobbleheads will spend the coming weekend playing up the performances of moderate Republicans Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, Marco Rubio and John Kasich.
raven
@Baud: I do, she often takes breaks.
debbie
I can’t wait to see how Kasich handles himself. He likes to talk over others, he rambles, he bumbles, he comes across as a folksy guidance counselor. This isn’t his ideal format.
He’s being breathlessly idolized by the local news shows here and seeing how they cover it on the 11pm news will be the most interesting part of the debate for me.
Gin & Tonic
@Anne Laurie: The same way a bull “services” a cow.
By getting a hand job in a lab somewhere, not within sight or smell of the real target?
Baud
@raven:
Thanks.
Gin & Tonic
@satby: considered by anyone on earth to be presidential timber.
One of those ten clowns will get at least 60 million votes next November.
bemused
@raven:
Has your wife had any soreness or itching from the shingles vaccine?
gogol's wife
How could anyone possibly watch this thing? I know, the way we used to watch solar eclipses, in a bucket of water.
I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet
@JMG: I’m not watching either. I may check Wonkette’s live blog occasionally.
I hope this is a big bust for Fox News, but the pessimist in me doesn’t think it’s likely.
Cheers,
Scott
(**Boycott Fox News!** And why is Facebook a co-sponsor of this travesty anyway??)
OzarkHillbilly
@Gin & Tonic: One should never forget that in 2004 a majority of Americans thought George W Bush was of presidential timber.
OldDave
If you do watch it, perhaps use Berkeley Breathed’s method – in a group with character wigs? link to Breathed’s Facebook page; hopefully it works…
Althea
None for me, thank you. I’m trying to curb my alcoholism.
scav
This is why should have a basket into which one carefully and deliberately sets aside all the wine corks one works ones way through. At important events, thus, there is a cache of immediately available soft projectiles for hurling. One can distribute them at communal events to one’s guests in small bowls — experience suggests paper as those too can be used more like frisbees for extra emphasis at critical moments. Two additional upsides: a) an opportunity to be distracted by a triggered memory of a fine vintage and thereby retreat into happier circumstances; b) significantly reduced chance of having no pairs of matched socks available for the next public outing.
ThresherK
@Keith G: A pro baker? Hey, I know people are always asking you for help, and I hope this isn’t too much a bother, but:
I can’t find a good from-scratch chewy brownie recipe to work for the chewyness and for any somewhat predictable doneness. (Note that I use both an in-oven thermometer and a leave-in-the-food remote thermometer.)
boatboy_srq
Much more accurate.
JMG
@scav:
At the castle of the Popes in Avignon, France, the gift shop has little crossbows that shoot wine corks. We bought four. You should get some if you can.
Thunderbird
@Gin & Tonic: The fact that you’re absolutely right fills me with such despair that I think I’ll skip the debate. Just so fucking depressing.
scav
@JMG: Another fine reson to like Avignon. Chateauneuf and.
bemused
Ha, ha. Health officials warning about drinking games (Raw Story). During the debate, don’t take a drink when one of the candidates says something silly, only take a drink when one says something reasonable. Following that advice guarantees 100% sobriety.
satby
@Baud: She’s been busy with family visits and stuff. I told her about your mom and I know she’s been thinking of you.
JPL
The first debate begins at five. If Wonkette has a drinking game starting then, there will be no coverage of the nine o’clock debate.
ThresherK
@bemused: Replace your shotglass with a thimble. And your beer glass of choice with the 1/2oz barkeeper’s glass.
Baud
@satby:
Thanks. Glad to hear she’s doing well. She’s such a cheerful person, it’s noticeable when she is absent for a while.
bemused
@ThresherK:
I don’t plan to drink at all and don’t know if I can watch any of it, sober or not.
My brother is having bypass surgery this morning so hoping all goes well is all I have on my mind today.
satby
@Thunderbird: Yep. This stopped being funny for me about a decade ago. The 2008 and 2012 elections just kept me from utter despair for this country; and I just need to hang on until the next election reaffirms that there’s still a sane majority of voters.
Baud
@JPL:
It’s Fox’s devious plan to kill off Democratic voters.
gvg
@JMG: There are various crossbows and wood and rubberband guns that shoot marshmallows. Problem is people shoot 3 or 4 then decide to eat all the ammo. Of course, it depends on your definition of problem.
satby
@bemused: good luck to him, and you waiting for him to be out of surgery and on the way to recovery.
Bobby B.
@Gin & Tonic: The way people devote money and their whole lives annointing these pieces of shit to sit on top of the world.
satby
@Baud: especially after the court overturned the voter id law in Texas. Gotta cut the D votes down somehow.
Gindy51
OT but a must read:
http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2015/08/drivers-beware-the-costly-deadly-dangers-of-traffic-stops-in-the-american-police-state/
bemused
@satby:
Two bypasses for sure, one other partially blocked. He said his surgeon has an excellent reputation so he feels he is in good hands. Still will be on pins and needles tho.
Cervantes
@Anne Laurie:
That, at least, is productive in a good way.
Cervantes
@Major Major Major Major:
What’s going on? Weren’t you in Rome, etc., recently on a Happy Tour? All OK since your return?
(None of my business, obviously, and you should feel free to say so or even just ignore this comment.)
Capri
@Gin & Tonic: It doesn’t work that way. At the AI bull studs I’ve been to, the bulls all wait their turn in a single file line (in a chute). When it’s their turn, they jump on the bull ahead of them to get collected. Then they move up one in line and the bull behind them jumps up on them. Very efficient. Bulls are not anatomically nor tempermentally disposed to hand jobs.
Elizabelle
Don’t be too drunk, or you will be extra-maudlin for Jon Stewarts’ sign-off tonight. Have to catch that, too.
Morning Joe: Butthurt. They were butthurt by Obama’s Iran speech yesterday. No question.
One guest had been talking to Republicans yesterday, and they were insulted.
Some youngish dapper guy, who’s kind of handsome, a bit later: Obama is so divisive. Obama is so polarizing.
Chyron identifies him: It’s Ron Fournier.
I laugh and and turn off the set on way downstairs to make coffee.
Jeffro
OT but enlightening: I finally figured out why that one Congressman or whomever wanted to make lobster and steak specifically ineligible to be bought w/ EBT benefits: http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/receipt.asp
A buddy had this on his FB page this morning – it’s from 2011, and the guy was even busted/did time for it. Yet, here it is, helping the right wing go on milking the Constant Outrage Cows four years later.
I think I need to send my bud the ‘ok w/ roasting a sparrow under a bridge’ metaphor and see what he thinks…
Chris
@satby:
Quoted for truth.
The last time I remember having fun at a Republican debate was in 2007, when the local fundie group (whom I was friends with at the time) were watching it with me and my best friend in the dorm lounge, and we were the only two Democrats. Every time Reagan’s name was mentioned, we parodied with a soccer fan style human wave and cheer. The fundies were not amused.
I think the rise of the teabaggers is the point where I stopped being able to even find humor in it. Although I can still find schadenfreude; I spent the end of 2011 and most of 2012 in absolute delight at Romney’s gaffes, unlikability, and the fact that he was so obviously heading over a cliff.
Jeffro
Reposted here w/ a h/t to Davis X Machina (and thank the FSM for the Balloon Juice Lexicon)
“The salient fact of American politics is that there are fifty to seventy million voters each of who will volunteer to live, with his family, in a cardboard box under an overpass, and cook sparrows on an old curtain rod, if someone would only guarantee that the black, gay, Hispanic, liberal, whatever, in the next box over doesn’t even have a curtain rod, or a sparrow to put on it.”
Cervantes
@RSA:
Not that I am an expert on Twitter — but shouldn’t this comment (or 140 characters thereof) be “tweeted”?
shell
If youre near the teevee today and want to avoid more debate blather; its Michael Caine day on TCM. ‘The Man Who Would Be King’ , later this afternoon. ‘Hannah & Her Sisters’ on tonight.
Gin & Tonic
@Capri: Thank you. I clearly know little about livestock husbandry.
Cervantes
@Thunderbird:
Not sure if the following analysis can help you feel better about your fellow citizens. The election results we see are not only a reflection of voter preferences. They are in large part determined by the process we have made for ourselves. Millions of citizens do not vote and their thoughts are not discernible in the Republican v. Democrat outcome. If there were an explicit “None of the Above” option on every ballot, what outcome would you see and what might it portend?
Paul in KY
@Anne Laurie: Boy, is that true!
ThresherK
@bemused: Good wishes sent your way for your brother’s behalf..
(And I was using the proverbial “you”, not the specific “you”.)
Paul in KY
@JMG: Same here. Will just catch the recaps.
Cervantes
Good for Drezner.
OzarkHillbilly
@Chris:I’m going to get a bumper sticker that says, “Yes, I am laughing at you”.
japa21
I read the line about this beuing the most watched program in cablenews histroy and my first reaction was WTF? Then I realized a goodly portion of the viewers are there for the same reason many people watch auto racing: the possibility of crashes.
Thunderbird
@Cervantes: This is just my cynical side, but I feel like “None of the Above” would be President for eternity.
Cervantes
@TheMightyTrowel:
I trust you were reminded of this:
Glad you enjoyed your stay. Safe trip home!
Paul in KY
@bemused: Hoping the best for your brother.
Gin & Tonic
@Cervantes: Have you read Frederick Kempe’s Berlin 1961?
Cervantes
@Thunderbird:
Well, given that’s what you perceive, does it help you feel better about our fellow citizens?
Maybe, given lots of time and doing lots of work, we can shift the process to reflect more usefully what we all feel, and think, and want.
Cervantes
@Gin & Tonic:
Sure. Why do you ask?
Thunderbird
@Cervantes: No, it does not help me feel better.
You’re a far more optimistic individual than I.
JPL
@bemused: Thinking of you.
rikyrah
@bystander:
At least they have it on paper that he was mentally ill, instead of it being the go-to explanation for White shooters.
Mack
I’m hoping tonight provides a nice collection of soundbites to use in the general. If I were a frontrunner, I don’t think I’d even participate in this. Even friendly mods with friendly questions won’t keep some of these guys from inserting their foot in their mouth.
Gin & Tonic
@Cervantes: Idle curiosity, spawned by your blockquote from the Kennedy speech. Kempe is very hard on JFK.
RSA
@Cervantes:
Probably. I’m such a social media dinosaur that I’ve only started texting in the past year or so.
(I have 57 tweets since 2009. Is that a lot? /kirk)
Cervantes
@Gin & Tonic:
Yes, and I’m not impressed.
If I may quote the President (re Khrushchev, August, 1961):
Cervantes
@rikyrah:
Yes, that’s a good point and an important distinction. Thanks.
Cervantes
@RSA:
Well, not for a bird, anyway.
bemused
ThresherK, Paul in KY, JPL, Satby,
Thank you. I usually avoid commenting on family health issues like this but I believe good thoughts and wishes are positive energy which hopefully reach those who need it.
bemused
@rikyrah:
Clearly this country needs a lot more resources for people with mental health issues and their families.
OzarkHillbilly
@rikyrah: See what happens when the crazy white guy can’t get his hands on an assault weapon with hundred round drum magazine and exploding depleted uranium projectiles?
stinger
@bemused: Best wishes for success and a speedy recovery.
Brachiator
@bemused:
Fortunately, these surgeries are almost routine these days. Patients are up and ready for light physical therapy very soon after the procedure.
Hopefully, everything will be smooth sailing.