Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Bogus polls are all they’ve got left. Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls a year from now.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Be a traveling stable for those who can’t find room at the inn.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Compromise? There is no middle ground between a firefighter and an arsonist.

Fuck the extremist election deniers. What’s money for if not for keeping them out of office?

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Russia bombs Ukraine’s maternity hospitals; Republicans in the House can’t sort out supporting Ukraine.

Meanwhile over at truth Social, the former president is busy confessing to crimes.

T R E 4 5 O N

He imagines himself as The Big Bad, Who Is Universally Feared… instead of The Big Jagoff, Who Is Universally Mocked.

Republicans do not pay their debts.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Dear Washington Post, you are the darkness now.

Of course you can have champagne before noon. That’s why orange juice was invented.

You are here: Home / Elections / Election 2016 / Thursday Evening Open Thread: It’s Satirists All the Way Down

Thursday Evening Open Thread: It’s Satirists All the Way Down

by | 182 Comments

This post is in: , , ,

If you can get past your inner copy editor, PFT Commentor at SB*Nation has some of the best takes on the last RNC debate:

… Jeb Bush was asked about the New York Times Magazine question that posed “If you could go back and kill Hitler as a baby, would you do it?” His answer was a emphatic “Hell yeah I would” that was in no way designed to make him look tough in front of his cooler friend Donald Trump. Nonetheless, Bush took the lead as the most anti-Hitler candidate for about 30 hours, but with all that Carson had been through with the media asking him unfair questons from his “gotcha” autobiography I wanted to toss him a softball. So I asked him, “as the most anti-Hitler, but also the most anti- abortion candidate, would you ABORT baby Hitler?”

Ben Carson- soft on Hitler folks. But a man of his convictions….

Winners: Illegal Immigrants

Trump likely won over the entire undocumented worker demographic tonight. If Im a illegal immigrant the first thing Im doing is starting a SUPERPAC for Donald Trump because if the American public has reached the point where there willing to elect him as President, then Im getting the hell out the United States so might as well make it a free ride…

***********
Apart from checking into immigration policies in the worse-comes-to-worst country of your choice, what’s on the agenda for the evening?

Reader Interactions

182Comments

  1. 1.

    Corner Stone

    what’s on the agenda for the evening?

    Mainly wondering why anyone ever liked the Balloon Man picture.

  3. 3.

    sharl

    I just posted a couple comments – #103 and #105 – in Cole’s post (the one before Richard’s) about Tamir Rice. Things just keep getting shittier and shittier about that, and when you consider how shitty the initial event was, that’s quite an accomplishment. Such an effort, Cuyahoga County Prosecutor McGinty!

    Hope those links work, but if not, just jump back two posts and go to near the end of the comments.

  4. 4.

    Corner Stone

    Oh, and a little matter known as the National Football League*.

    *as an aside, the Texans should have traded for Stafford before the deadline.

  6. 6.

    boatboy_srq

    Apart from checking into immigration policies in the worse-comes-to-worst country of your choice

    WHEE! Ireland has a skilled IT worker shortage. Dublin would be VERY comfy. And the shortage means that entry for non-EU/non-UK nationals is easier than most (Tier 1) – assuming a sponsoring employer can be found.

  8. 8.

    Anoniminous

    @sharl:

    Before I die I expect Police Department SpokesKlansman to be saying, “Yeah. We shot another Negro. Deal with it.”

  9. 9.

    Corner Stone

    Does anyone know the reason news channels decided to show a video with the edges blurred unrecognizable and leave a strip in the middle focused?

  10. 10.

    kindness

    So the lesson is, when picked up from Immigration, tell them you came from Tahiti so they have to send you there. (or some other tropical paradise, your choice)

  11. 11.

    Hal

    @sharl: I’m at the point where I’m about to defriend pretty much everyone I went to high school with on Facebook. Too many justifications for police violence all the while denying any racism in America or putting the blame on Al Sharpton and of course, Obama. It’s depressing that so many people are so inclined to justify everything the police do, and to read about these blatant manipulations and dodges from the prosecutors who are supposed to be concerned with the truth is so fundamentally unfair to the victims it’s sickening.

  12. 12.

    NotMax

    The widget error message in the sidebar adds a festive touch. :)

    GA Widget - there was a service error 403:Error calling GET […] Quota Error: profileId ga:72628085 has exceeded the daily request limit.

  13. 13.

    Wordpress Developers

    Thanks NotMax, that helped! Still tweaking oh so many things!

    This was a Google Analytics plugin puking because of the load we put on them; it didn’t die happily and so made the site a bit wacky for a few. It will even out, please bear with us!

    That said, I think/hope the RSS feed hiccups some are experiencing are fixed. Not sure how many such users manually enter paths, but if you are one, ensure that you’re using: https://balloon-juice.com/feed/

    If that doesn’t make it better for you RSS readers, please post tomorrow afternoon that it’s not gotten better and I’ll take another look under the RSS hood. I have recently (past 2 days) blocked some IP addresses that throw a bunch of queries at the site on a regular basis, and that looks like bots probing. If they are RSS feeds, they are looking in the incorrect place, and if you change your settings, I should see that result tomorrow, and would then unblock appropriate addresses.

    As for empty content appearing, every time I load or dump a plugin, that kills the cache and makes it rebuild. This hampers performance. That will ease up soon!

    Finally, like many readers (and Front Pagers!), I’ve experienced errors when loading pages, often when loading in a new browser window. Apparently, this is likely due to some older, flakier version of some key server software that runs this site. Sometime soon, the web hosts will be upgrading this server, and I expect that a lot of those FYWP experiences will disappear. Or at least I’m hopeful! :)

    – Alain

  14. 14.

    debbie

    Since it’s an Open Thread, does anyone have glasses just for computer work? If so, have they helped? I’m trying to decide if I should give them a try. I sit before two screens all day at work and am losing the eye strain battle.

  15. 15.

    Patricia Kayden

    @sharl: If the cops were Black and the child was White, there is no doubt in my mind that we would see a different outcome. Look at what happened in Louisiana, where two Black cops are in jail for shooting a 6-year old White child. They are in jail facing serious charges which is exactly how things should be.

    http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2015/11/there_is_justice_for_6_year_old_jeremy_mardis_there_should_be_justice_for.html?wpisrc=topstories

    Funny how I don’t see any White Conservatives rallying around the two Black cops, huh?

  16. 16.

    Tracy Ratcliff

    @debbie: I have for the past two years. I have bifocals, and I had to tilt my head back with resulting neck pain when using the “driving glasses.” But I have to remember to switch when I go outside, since I have to tilt my head down if I forget and drive with the work glasses.

  18. 18.

    Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism

    @Corner Stone:

    Does anyone know the reason news channels decided to show a video with the edges blurred unrecognizable and leave a strip in the middle focused?

    Because the videos are actually from cell phones. Someone decided that duplicating the video and blurring it was a cooler effect than just framing it. Which I think makes it the modern version of the rotating flaming logo (or maybe the PowerPoint text effects).

    @debbie:

    Since it’s an Open Thread, does anyone have glasses just for computer work? If so, have they helped?

    Yes and yes.

  19. 19.

    NotMax

    @debbie

    Yes. Got the ones with whatever the fancy-schmancy anti-glare coating is called this past May. Have only used them occasionally (for very small print or when eyes are veyr tired). Be sure to tell the eyeglass place that you will be using them to stare at a monitor, they’ll know what the coating is.

  20. 20.

    piratedan7

    while in Firefox, every time I refresh the page or move from thread to thread I get a pop up box that states “Null Article”, when clicked upon, then prompts another box with the additional selection option of turning it off from displaying further messages (which you have to select to clear it) and then the box clears. I am assuming this is a bug and not a feature, but sometimes, you just never know….

  21. 21.

    geg6

    @debbie:

    I have bifocals for that and I hate them.

    As for what I’m doing? The herb roasted organic chicken with potatoes, carrots and leeks is resting before being carved and I just opened a bottle of white burgundy. Raspberry pie (using up some of the bumper crop we had this summer and froze) and vanilla ice cream for dessert. I hope I can manage to stay awake for Elementary.

  23. 23.

    Anne Laurie

    @debbie:

    Since it’s an Open Thread, does anyone have glasses just for computer work? If so, have they helped? I’m trying to decide if I should give them a try. I sit before two screens all day at work and am losing the eye strain battle.

    Not sure if this is exactly what you mean, but when I get new trifocals, I tell the optician that I spent the majority of my waking hours looking at computer screens, so I wanted my “main” focal point to be adjusted for that, and it helps a lot. If you mean glasses to wear just while reading screens, I’m sure talkling to the person doing your exam will get you a single-lens pair that will improve your quality of life.

    P.S. If you’re over 40, or live in a sunny clime, scrounge up the funds for Transitions lenses. Aging eyes lose the ability to adjust to changes in light levels, and not squinting every time you step out of the building also makes your life that little bit easier.

  24. 24.

    debbie

    @Anne Laurie:

    I already have the seamless bifocals, whatever they’re called. The lenses my eye doctor is talking about is about 80% (all but across the top of the lens) for close-up work.

    I also have Transitions. The only drawback is you have to be directly in the sun. They are of no help while driving. But since I’m squinting all day at the monitor, also squinting while driving isn’t difficult.

    Thanks, everyone else, for your responses. I’m sure I can’t link to everyone’s name without going into moderation.

  25. 25.

    boatboy_srq

    @debbie: Yes, and yes. “Office lenses” are a great help. Go polycarbonate or better: lightweight will help reduce strain as much as the correction will.

  27. 27.

    boatboy_srq

    @debbie: Transitions makes a couple just-for-driving flavors: Drivewear and XTRactive. XTRactive is for outdoorsy types, Drivewear is explicitly for driving. They’re newer, and not all shops carry them, but they do exist.

  28. 28.

    NotMax

    @debbie

    Also too, some monitors now include among their settings an “Eye Saver” mode, which may help a little in mollifying the strain.

  30. 30.

    Germy Shoemangler

    Tech question for balloon-juicers:

    does anyone have an iphone 5s and is now experiencing “mailbox full” issues because of a software update? And cannot receive new voicemails?

  31. 31.

    Mike J

    @boatboy_srq:

    Transitions makes a couple just-for-driving flavors:

    Or just buy cheap prescription sunglasses. Order them online for <$15 and have 'em in a week or two.

  33. 33.

    Calouste

    @boatboy_srq: The skilled IT worker shortage might be because the Irish economy more or less collapsed a few years back, and salaries aren’t particularly attractive compared to the UK.

  35. 35.

    a hip hop artist from Idaho (fka Bella Q)

    @Steeplejack (phone): I feel your pain, Steep. Say hi to your housemate(s?). I’m sure you’re lots of fun – in my experience not all dogs enjoy life with RWNJs.

  36. 36.

    Wordpress Developers

    Think that is some of the issues I researched, where PHP (server side software) pukes in some situations. The fix is coming in the next week or two, just not from me – this is a hosting environment/server core software situation that’s out of my control.

    For whatever reason, Firefox seems most sensitive to this, although Chrome also has its issues. All I can recommend is waiting a few moments and trying it again. It’s quite frustrating, especially when it’s page-specific – as in, you can read other posts on the site, but that one you want won’t work. It happens on the backend too and it’s a nasty, frustrating gremlin that will hopefully soon be banished!

  37. 37.

    01jack

    @debbie:

    does anyone have glasses just for computer work? If so, have they helped?

    I wear bifocals (they call them “progressives” these days, I think) and no head tilt seems really right for reading a computer screen. I have a second pair for computer work – they are fixed focus for, I think, 26 or 30 inches. Couldn’t work without them.

    And BTW,

    Blockquotes are kinda shouty-looking, yes?

  39. 39.

    Bill Arnold

    @debbie:

    My biggest mistake was to move to bifocals in the first place.

    I’ve been holding out for variable-focus glasses. Are the available technologies any good yet?
    (I can still read tiny black-on-white text on bright screens.)

  40. 40.

    Wordpress Developers

    Has your offspring tried checking that data is enabled?

    Settings ==> Cellular

    • Cellular Data is On/green
    • Enable LTE (or the thing below Cellular Data) is set to Voice & Data
  42. 42.

    max

    @Corner Stone: Mainly wondering why anyone ever liked the Balloon Man picture.

    Pro-Bush, pro-Iraq War, pro-surveillance and now, I guess, pro-boxcars and pro-grain storage.

    max
    [‘What an asshole.’]

  49. 49.

    gelfling545

    @debbie: Yes and yes. Have had them for about 4 years. Added bonus is that I can walk around with them on which I definitely cannot do with my reading glasses.

  50. 50.

    EthylEster

    @Corner Stone: I have noticed this recently. All I can figure is that the focused area fits on all devices….like a smartphone. I find it annoying when I see it on TV.

  52. 52.

    Gin & Tonic

    @01jack:

    does anyone have glasses just for computer work? If so, have they helped?

    I used to, but then Balloon-Juice made them moot.

  54. 54.

    Wordpress Developers

    @Germy Shoemangler: I gotcha. Happened to me. Another time, I had to re-enter the voicemail password so that the “Visual Voicemail” feature worked, but I suspect it’s that the Cellular Data isn’t enabled.

  55. 55.

    Germy Shoemangler

    @WordPress Developers:

    Has your offspring tried checking that data is enabled?

    offspring has no visual voice mail. Was able to change password, but cannot retrieve voicemail. If I call her, I get a message that mailbox is full (even though it isnt)

    She is concerned that leaving data ON will expose her to additional ver1z0n charges. I don’t know if this is true.

  56. 56.

    lahke

    Getting computer glasses is what drove me to LASIK surgery. The doc had prescribed a different astigmatism correction for the computer glasses than my bifocals and switching was making me sick. Am so happy with the surgery, though now I’m old enough to need reading glasses again.

  57. 57.

    EthylEster

    @WordPress Developers: Too much white space, Dev Person. Especially on the right side of the page.

    And must we have a pic at the beginning of every post? Also, too, I can barely make out the text on the comment buttons above….white text against pale gray.

  58. 58.

    Corner Stone

    @WereBear: I think they got to WereBear. You know, “they”. “Them”.

    Or maybe we’ve finally found out the true meaning of The Way of Cats and what there ultimate goal were.

  59. 59.

    geg6

    @debbie:

    Yeah, thankfully, I had enough in my flexible spending that I could get the bifocals (whatever the no-line kind are called) and a regular pair with just correction of my far sight. Otherwise, I’d be crazed trying to watch tv.

  63. 63.

    Gvg

    Just for developer info, I do not have comment numbers on an iPad. I did this afternoon on a Mac. I like numbers. For the record, theiPad has never had them, but it has been hopefully listed that we may get them in the upgrade, pretty please.

  64. 64.

    The Other Chuck

    Looks like I have some scripts and css to update. Might be my last tech project for a long while though, so if anyone’s interested in taking over MBBJ, EBBJ, and TBG, let me know. [email protected]

  66. 66.

    Hungry Joe

    @debbie: Years ago I got progressives: upper part of lens for distance, slim band across the middle for computer, lower part for reading. They made me dizzy, almost nauseated. Damn near fell down a couple of times. VERY distracting, having to move my head up or down slightly to bring various everyday things into focus. Eye doc said, “Keep trying. Soon you’ll adjust and make the movements unconsciously. They’ll work.” But they didn’t. Gave up after a week. A few days later I gave it another go, and after about three days something clicked in my brain, and it’s been smooth sailing/viewing ever since.

  67. 67.

    NotMax

    Ambivalent about it, but now that comment numbers are returning, isn’t showing the total number of replies just above the first comment not just a little redundant (as the that same number is already listed in the front page post itself)?

  69. 69.

    Roger Moore

    @Corner Stone:

    Does anyone know the reason news channels decided to show a video with the edges blurred unrecognizable and leave a strip in the middle focused?

    It was probably shot on a cellphone camera in portrait mode. The original is the strip in the middle that’s well focused, and the blurry part around the edges is a blurred version of the middle part of the video expanded to serve as a background. I don’t know why they do that rather than letterboxing, but that seems to be the fashion.

  71. 71.

    lamh36

    So…at work today, NCIS: New Orleans were filming for an upcoming episode round the time I went to lunch.

    I saw both Scott Bakula and the guys who plays “LaSalle”. First impression, Bakula walks just like he seems on the show, and “LaSalle” is shorter than I expected… :-)

  72. 72.

    SiubhanDuinne

    @Gvg:

    I’m on an iPad, and got numbered comments back this afternoon.

    Edit: I use the desktop version, never the mobile version. Maybe that’s the difference.

    Another Edit: Yup, that’s it. Try switching over to desktop. I like it infinitely better.

  73. 73.

    redshirt

    I’m not necessarily complaining because maybe it’s something I’ll get used to, but I feel like I’m talking with 44, 56, 68, and so on, due to the primacy of the comment number over the commentators name.

    Not sure how you could resolve as I assume you don’t want to/can’t go into the left margin as it used to be. Maybe change the font size of the numbers smaller, and the commentators names larger?

    Special agent 73, Out!

  74. 74.

    Elizabelle

    RE the logo: I think it should be Tunch blowing that horn and wielding that walking stick.

    Beyond thrilled to see comment numbers.

    Thank you, Tommy and Alain.

  75. 75.

    gene108

    On the topic of glasses. I got my eyes checked a few weeks ago. I’m 41, so I figured I still have a few years to before needing reading glasses.

    The optometrist, as we were winding down, flipped a reading card infront of the eye viewer thingy. He aked me to read it. No problem, I read it.

    He then flipped a lense in front of me. I exclaimed, my goodness the card is crystal clear.

    He smirked…you sure you don’t want progressive lenses? I said I’m not ready for it yet.

    But by golly, when I’m ready, I can sign up for bi-focals next year.

    Edit: Growing old sucks…I wish I could be 25 for ever…

  78. 78.

    WaterGirl

    @lamh36: How fun! Funny you should mention it… I noticed Scott Bakula’s walk when I watched the show earlier this week and I thought he seemed to finally be comfortable in his role.

  79. 79.

    WaterGirl

    @redshirt: It’s not just you, I’ve been doing the same thing with the numbers, though I’m very glad to have them!

    I think maybe just un-bolding them would reduce the province of the numbers. It would be easy enough to try, anyway!

  82. 82.

    redshirt

    PFTCommentator is very funny and even more so because he started off as a troll on ProFootballTalk.com (hence the name). He finally got to interview the founder and runner of that site, Mike Florio, earlier this year.

    He always has typos. Either he’s really drunk all the time or it’s an act, or maybe some of both.

  84. 84.

    redshirt

    @WaterGirl:

    How fun! Funny you should mention it… I noticed Scott Bakula’s walk when I watched the show earlier this week and I thought he seemed to finally be comfortable in his role.

    I assume that’s because like many actors, he’s probably not acting. Just being himself.

    Imagine being a star that gets paid millions to literally just act like yourself, but on cue? Living the dream.

  85. 85.

    Ripley

    …every time I refresh the page or move from thread to thread I get a pop up box that states “Null Article”…

    Freddie DeBoer is posting here again?

  91. 91.

    lamh36

    @WaterGirl: I love Scott Bakula actually, since his Quantum Leap days. My crush on him was during my Dennis Quaid crush phase…lol. He resembles Quaid to me.

    Speaking of NCIS:NOLA, Bakula’s accent is still pretty bad, but that Cajun “coon-ass” accent is really hard to get, but Quaid came pretty close in The Big Easy. We in NOLA, choose to ignore the crappy accent though.

    The “Bama-boy” accent is actually pretty good.

  93. 93.

    Gin & Tonic

    @gene108: I remember when I first realized my arms were too short and I needed reading glasses, I whined about it to a childhood friend of mine, who’s an opthalmologist. He laughed at me.

  94. 94.

    Wordpress Developers

    So much good has been from Tommy, but in this case, I’ll take my bow!

    I’m still tweaking a few things comment-ish, but hopefully they’re closer to what everyone can work with!

    – Alain

  95. 95.

    Tomtofa

    @debbie:
    Wouldn’t want to be without them. It really, really makes a difference. Haven’t read other replies, so forgive me if this is repetitive, but be sure to get them adjusted to the actual distance you usually are from the screen. For me, a little more than arm length.

    I can get by wearing them for walking around, even driving (if I’m not needing signs to be totally sharp); wearing my regular (distance) glasses at the computer makes for guaranteed neck ache from leaning back to get the thin strip of near focus into play.

  98. 98.

    equs_1776

    @debbie: Debbie: dedicated computer glass: YES YES and YES. I have had these 10 years. I have a dedicated pair, anti-reflective, bifocal, bottom for paper and the top for the screen, in a case below my screen at the office. I leave them at the desk to walk around, however. Recommend without reservation. Go for it!

  99. 99.

    Wordpress Developers

    Noted – I’ll consider, during a quick green chile reheat session downstairs and perhaps a Black Ops III MP match or two!

    Nice to meet a fellow number, be seeing you!

    (a The Prisoner Reference, for those not in the know)

    – Alain

  102. 102.

    Riley's enabler

    @debbie: emphatic Yes. They tried to stick me in bifocals, but it simply didn’t work for my computer set ups (two large monitors). So I told them to bite me and give me a full lens for computer work only….they work for reading too. I have a separate pair for driving.

    They love their bifocals but you can simply say NOPE. Get what you want.

  103. 103.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Riley’s enabler: When it comes time for me to need both types of lenses, I am getting separate pairs. I wear my distance glasses only for driving at night and watching movies. My eyes would never adjust to two prescriptions in one lens. Gack!

  106. 106.

    raven

    @Omnes Omnibus: I thought that too, I even got progressives and then let them sit for 6 months. My brother convinced me to give them time a now I can’t tell the difference. Now, my hearing aid is another story. All I can say is that I’m glad the VA paid for them.

  107. 107.

    Duane

    @sharl:

    You know what else will be tragic but reasonable?
    The riots that will occur if Tamir Rice’s killer isn’t put in jail.

  110. 110.

    NotMax

    @Alain

    Any chance of making the delineations (lines) between comments darker and solid, please? They’re practically invisible as they are now.

  111. 111.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @raven: If I wore glasses all the time, I would look at it differently. I wear my distance glasses maybe 20% of a day at most. Some days, I don’t wear them at all.

    ETA: Vanity has a cost.

  117. 117.

    NotMax

    @Alain

    Also too (and not something which will show up for a lot of people, probably, so hardly a priority) href=”http://thumbsnap.com/s/K0i0I3NE.jpg”>note the overlap of text on the navigation thingy.

  119. 119.

    PurpleGirl

    @debbie: I tried bifocals for reading and distance. Could not get the hang of changing my head direction for reading and distance. So I have two pairs of glasses — one for distance and the second pair for reading and close work (like crocheting and making jewelry). It’s a pain to carry two pairs and to take them out to read, etc. but I just couldn’t use bifocals. When the asked me what distance they should use for setting up the reading glasses, I told them how far away from the monitor I sit and the readers are adjusted for the computer work.

  120. 120.

    J R in WV

    @debbie:

    Get a pair set for the distance your monitors are from your face/eyes.

    You don’t want any other bifocal or trifocal for those glasses, or special coatings, just the whole lens cut for the distance to your monitor from your eyes. Measure that with a tape measure.

    For driving, I have a pair of trifocals with the darkest Polaroid tint available. Bifocals would be ok for driving, but sometimes I use the dark glasses to sit on the back porch and read, so I need the tri-focals for that.

    I never got monitor-distance glasses cut, but co-workers did, and I am providing the advice that worked for them.

    Transition tinted lenses are expensive, and worthless as far as I’m concerned. Get a transparent set for use indoors or in dim light and a DARK Polaroid pair for use in bright sunlight. The monitor pair will be pretty inexpensive as you don’t want bi-focal or tri-focal in those.

    And don’t raise your shoulders when you type. I was, and it was the cause of my repetitive-motion syndrome symptoms. When I taught myself not to lift my shoulders when I put my hands to the keyboard, and started to keep my shoulders relaxed, those symptoms went away.

    Best of luck.

  123. 123.

    Wordpress Developers

    @Mike J: that will be an Xmas gift. Battlefront arrives next week and wife and I shall spend many hours playing together! So COD for me for now. Still getting used to Xbox One. It’s a week old tomorrow!

  134. 134.

    showmecanuck

    @debbie: After cataract surgery I had perfect distance vision. Got a pair of bifocals made. Upper half has focal length of 2-6 ft and is great for computer. Lower half is standard reading lens. No neck strain for either computer or reading. Works great for me.

  139. 139.

    Corner Stone

    All, I understand a lot of the footage is from mobile devices. That, in itself, is no reason to display the video they way they have been doing for the last several months.

  140. 140.

    Corner Stone

    I’m beginning to take on my identity by associating my needs, wants and goals with the comment number. I have lost context of my true self and now only strive to push forward the will of my number.

  141. 141.

    SiubhanDuinne

    I think it’s cute how everyone is hovering around ready to pounce on being No. 144.

    Or is that just me?

  151. 151.

    Riley's enabler

    No comment numbers on the mobile site (android). I FEEL SO LOST.

    (Not a critique, just an observation *ducks and runs for cover*)

  152. 152.

    Corner Stone

    @Riley’s enabler: You are #150 who is a vegan and grows several items in raised beds.
    Or you can choose to be #151 who rides a Harley, and open carries to the grocery store.
    Your comment number destiny is still on your hands.

  164. 164.

    Omnes Omnibus

    @Corner Stone: I don’t have the NFL network on my plan and for whatever reason for the first time this season, the game is not available on regular TV. I rely on you reports.

  165. 165.

    Ruckus

    @gene108:
    The age you wish you were? Add that to the age you are. Now I have little idea what the next 5 or 10 yrs will be like, some here might be able to fill in the blanks, but I will tell you it rarely gets better. You get to look forward to, OK bad pun, cataracts, stronger reading glasses, and that’s only the vision stuff. Really you don’t want to know, just enjoy what you’ve got, and hope it lasts on the long side of normal.

  170. 170.

    Suzanne

    Comment numbers! Better leading! The text column is still too narrow, but this is def an improvement. The top of the page still looks shitty in iPad portrait mode, tho—the links overlap the logo.

    I just finished my eleventh day in a row at work. And previous to that, I was sick, working at home. So I am taking tomorrow off, and I will not be doing any work this weekend. Fuck yeah. TGIF!

  171. 171.

    celticdragonchick

    So today happened.

    I substituted at an inner city high school in High Point, NC. All I knew was that it was going to be science of some sort. I get to the front office to get my class instructions etc and they give me my packet for period 2 and 3 (the school has 90 minute blocks instead of 55 minute). I have two biology classes with handouts to give them.

    Okay then.

    I get to my class and find it is a combination chemistry and biology lab. It is dirty and poorly kept…so I start poking around since I have 40 minutes before students come in even for first period. The emergency wash shower and extra fire exit are blocked by pushcarts loaded with junk and old crappy microscopes.

    Uhh?

    I note this with dismay and look around with interest. The first aid cabinet has no first aid kit, and I also see that the chemistry glassware is all over the classroom. It is filthy, and several test tubes and beakers have unknown liquids still in them.

    What. The. Fuck.

    I start looking for a chemical disposal container, because I cannot just fucking dump unknowns down a drain. Nothing. No ventilation hood, no chemical dump container…just dirty test tubes and beakers everywhere with …something…still in them.

    I go to the the aviation careers department (this high school has an aviation technical school sort of built in) head next door to come over and document what I have found so she can let the teacher know that there are some…um…issues with her class, and I also don’t want to sound like an asshole and make this an administration issue before I even start work for the day.

    Then kids start coming in.

    Who are you guys? What class are you here for?

    Chemistry.

    Oh really. Who is your teacher?

    Ms XXXXXXXXXXXX.

    Uh oh. Okay, what were you guys working on for chem this week then?

    We dunno.

    I’m fucked. Okay, let’s call the front office:

    “Hi, this is your substitute for Ms so and so for biology? I have a chemistry class in here and I have no class plan for these kids.”

    “Well, we gave you everything there was! You should have it all!”

    ” I have no roll call sheet and no class outline or lesson plan for first period, and everything I have is for 2nd and 3rd period. I need some guidance here.”

    Okay, we are sending someone down…

    My relief was actually freaking awesome. She was an admin who had taught chemistry and she gave a great lecture cold. It was a please to just watch her and learn how a seasoned pro does it…but things went down after that. Of course.

    2nd Period had students chasing each other with scissors, one kid fucking around with a pair of boxing gloves, one girl pushed out of a window (ground floor at least) and a 15 year old boy showing me pictures of his baby son(I think).

    I got dragged up to fill in for a math class for 4th hour. The classroom was locked so I hunted down keys while the kids grab assed each other in halls making a racket. of course there was no fucking lesson plan even while a huge overhead projector stated on the wall that the lesson plan was on her desk. Naw, fuck that shit…too easy, you damned slacker substitute! You are gonna work for that 81 bucks today, bitch!

    So a couple of the kids and I rummaged through her computer files and the loose papers all over her desk and settled on something they hadn’t done…maybe. This was a pre-calc class so the kids were fairly on the ball when they had something to do.

    But…the hall people started coming in. I have no idea who the hell they were, where they were supposed to be or why they were disrupting my class. Kids would just wander in and start bullshitting with my students out of the wild blue yonder.

    “Who are you? Why are you in my room? What class are you supposed to be in?”

    I’m just talking with my boy here.

    “No, you are leaving my class. Get out and go back to your class where you belong. Leave now, please.”

    This happened every 8 or 9 minutes.

    I need some scotch.

  172. 172.

    priscianus jr

    Talk about hypotheticals. How is somebody supposed to know what a fetus, or baby for that matter, is going to do when he grows up?

  173. 173.

    The Sailor

    @debbie: I normally look thru all the posts before commenting, but in this case I am a pro.

    Bifocals only correct for 2 different cases, near & far. Progressive lenses move smoothly between all the distances.
    It takes some getting used to. I stumbled over a few curbs & steps at first, but being able to glance down and see the gauges and glance up and see oncoming traffic was awesome.

    (COI: I do vision research, but all my grants are from the NEI, I have 0 $ from corporations.)

  174. 174.

    Nate Dawg

    This is a depressing thread. I’m hoping by time I get there, there will be virtual reality brain uploads, and I won’t have to deal with leaf blowers, ever again.

  175. 175.

    SFAW

    @Corner Stone:

    Can Fitzpatrick throw the ball over 15 yards with anything approaching accuracy? I couldn’t watch tonight’s (well, last night’s, now) game, but in previous games, any time he’s tried to throw it more than 20, he drops his left shoulder and his right arm looks like it’s going to dislocate. Sort of like a real quarterback trying to hit someone 75 yards downfield.

    I am SO tired of the dink-and-dunk abomination of an “offense” that the Jets have had since Paul Hackett decided Pennington and the West Coast O was the bestest thing evah. Hell, I think I’d rather have Zombie Sammy Baugh under center than a Harvie with an arm not much stronger than mine. And one with one of those dumb fucking beards to boot. You’re not a lumberjack or a fishing boat captain, asshole!

  176. 176.

    mclaren

    @Anne Laurie:

    Since it’s an Open Thread, does anyone have glasses just for computer work?

    I have myopia and got a pair of prescription glasses with a focal point of 14 inches. Helps a lot with computer work or reading.

    YMMV.

  177. 177.

    mclaren

    @Hal:

    I’m at the point where I’m about to defriend pretty much everyone I went to high school with on Facebook.

    Why the fuck would anyone want to keep in touch with the people from their high school?

    These are the assholes who put science lab crayfish in my sandwich at lunch and smeared mustard all over my locker. If I never see these jerkoffs again, it’ll be five years too soon.

    I don’t Facebook because…seriously. The people I went to K-12 school with were mostly sociopaths and clowns and no-neck thugs. Why the fuck would I want to keep in touch with these useless wastes of skin?

  178. 178.

    mclaren

    @lamh36:

    Trump also compared Rubio to a child molester. The Republican primaries: the gift that keeps on giving…

    I look forward to Huckerbee attacking Trump with a lawnmower while Jeb takes a can of hairspray and a Bic lighter to Ted Cruz’s hair. Eventually, they will all be put in detention together and forced to write a 600-word essay on “The importance of getting along with others.”

  180. 180.

    mclaren

    @celticdragonchick:

    I got dragged up to fill in for a math class for 4th hour.

    Tell them that there are no such things as odd numbers, and that in 1904 imaginary numbers were declared heretical and banned.

    Revenge!

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