Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

How any woman could possibly vote for this smug smarmy piece of misogynistic crap is beyond understanding.

I’m just a talker, trying to find a channel!

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

The fundamental promise of conservatism all over the world is a return to an idealized past that never existed.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Fuck that bum, let’s go Joe!

Second rate reporter says what?

Bark louder, little dog.

Hey Washington Post, “Democracy Dies in Darkness” is supposed to be a warning, not a mission statement.

DeSantis transforming Florida into 1930s Germany with gators and theme parks.

It’s a doggy dog world.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

If you’re looking for someone who’s young and athletic, go watch a fucking movie.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

I am pretty sure Katy Tur wasn’t always such a bootlicking sycophant.

It’s a new day. Light all those Biden polls of young people on fire and throw away the ashes.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

The Giant Orange Man Baby is having a bad day.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

You are here: Home / Politics / Trumpery / Hail to the Hairpiece / Tuesday Evening Open Thread: Make America I DID NOT SAY THAT

Tuesday Evening Open Thread: Make America I DID NOT SAY THAT

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I’m beginning to think that’s not pancake makeup, it’s tinted spackle covering the dings in Trump’s very, very, very thin skin.

Apart from some well-earned gloating, what’s on the agenda for the evening?

Reader Interactions

101Comments

  2. 2.

    BR

    As I posted in the other thread, the old Melania comments Trump made are actually pretty shocking even for Trump. I really wonder how it would go over if the average suburban voter saw those comments.

  3. 3.

    Patricia Kayden

    What exactly was Trump blaming the mic for doing?
    A man who cannot take responsibility for his mess should not be President.

  4. 4.

    scav

    Especially after just listening to a few repeats of Elon James White (for distraction) that reporters little “Ouf! Ouf!” just cracks me up.

    ETA: @Patricia Kayden: The microphones stole all his cocaine and were sniffling their triumph over him. Publicaly.

  5. 5.

    JPL

    @Patricia Kayden: The mic made him sniffle, because he didn’t sniffle.

    Not sure if this has been mentioned,

    Asked by CNN’s Dana Bash, “It sounds like you admitted that you hadn’t paid federal taxes and that that was smart, is that what you meant to say?” Trump didn’t try to clarify, but instead lied and said he’d never said that.
    “No, I didn’t say that at all,” he responded. He then went on, “If they say I didn’t, I mean it doesn’t matter,” without clarifying who “they” refers to.

    credit goes to Benin at Maddowblog

  6. 6.

    Soylent Green

    I have a winning temperament. My temperament is going to do so much winning, you’ll be tired of winning.

  7. 7.

    dmsilev

    @JPL: Perhaps Trump is the evidence we physicists have been looking for for all these years that proves the many-worlds interpretation of quantum theory. It’s not that he’s contradicting himself, it’s just that his consciousness is switching back and forth between alternative universes where he did and did not make those statements.

  12. 12.

    Botsplainer

    What everyone needs to understand is that slickster hustler developers have no compass. Combine that with the fact that he’s always been surrounded by pathetic sycophantic toadies, and he’s never been in a position to have an inner circle that he could rely on to say “dude, you’re fucking up”.

    Who is going to tell him he sounds or looks like an idiot? Conway? Page? That asshole stereotype he calls a lawyer?

  13. 13.

    Brachiator

    @Patricia Kayden:

    What exactly was Trump blaming the mic for doing?
    A man who cannot take responsibility for his mess should not be President.

    As Donald Rumsfeld once said, you have to go into a debate with the mic you have, not the mic you might want or wish to have at a later time.

    @dmsilev:

    Perhaps Trump is the evidence we physicists have been looking for for all these years that proves the many-worlds interpretation of quantum theory. It’s not that he’s contradicting himself, it’s just that his consciousness is switching back and forth between alternative universes where he did and did not make those statements.

    I saw this in an episode of the tv show “The Flash.”

  15. 15.

    hovercraft

    @Patricia Kayden:
    He said the people in the hall couldn’t hear him, and the mic was in and out, and it had a crackle. So something, something, and he was breathing normally, not sniffling. So it caught his breathing but not his words ?

  17. 17.

    Mnemosyne

    I have to say, the most beautiful thing about the debate last night was that Hillary would drop little tidbits into her answers and you could see Trump swelling with MUST. RESPOND.

    I especially noticed it with NATO. She didn’t reference a single word that he had said, but she name-dropped NATO and she and everyone watching knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else. I even called it out for the group I was watching with and they were all amazed by my fortune telling ability.

  18. 18.

    BruceFromOhio

    My neighbor put up Trump-Pence signs over the weekend. I’m tempted to make one up that has the same logo and colors that says I Did Not Say That.

    I have to give him credit, he held out this long and it’s got to be making him crazy. Meanwhile, his lovely wife is a shoo-in for Hillary, she went PUMA pink in 2008. I leave them both alone because they will probably cancel each other out; as well, other than politics, we get along just fine.

  19. 19.

    Mnemosyne

    @hovercraft:

    Unfortunately for him, TV viewers heard every word. The people I was watching with couldn’t believe that he’d used “bigly” as if it were an actual word.

  20. 20.

    Patricia Kayden

    @hovercraft: Did you or anyone else who watched the debate live have any problems hearing him? If no, I find it strange that the people in the hall couldn’t hear him but the tv audience had no problems doing so. And did any of you hear a “crackle”? And can a mic make it appear that you are sniffling if you’re not actually sniffling?

    Bizarre!! Sad!! Benghazi!!!!!!!

  22. 22.

    BruceFromOhio

    @Brachiator:

    Perhaps Trump is the evidence we physicists have been looking for for all these years that proves the many-worlds interpretation of quantum theory. It’s not that he’s contradicting himself, it’s just that his consciousness is switching back and forth between alternative universes where he did and did not make those statements.

    I saw this in an episode of the tv show “The Flash.”

    Was also an episode of Start Trek:The Next Generation.

  24. 24.

    Enhanced Voting Techinques

    The election came up at work which was interesting. The women really don’t like Trump, really don’t like him. As for the guys who are Trump supporters it’s more of they think it’s time for a change of party and it was clear they were pretty iffy on the Trump himself. Since I am the designated nice liberal these Trump leaners were asking me a lot about his bankruptcies.

  26. 26.

    p.a.

    Cosmo Kramer, cartoonish fictional character: “In my mind, I’m already gone.”
    Donald Trump, cartoonish Presidential candidate: “In my mind, I clearly won.”

  27. 27.

    Matt McIrvin

    @BruceFromOhio:

    Meanwhile, his lovely wife is a shoo-in for Hillary, she went PUMA pink in 2008.

    I wouldn’t be so sure; a bunch of PUMAs turned against Hillary when she joined the despised Obama administration and went around the Möbius strip to become anti-Hillary this year. Either Bernie-or-Buster or Trumpster, depending on their ideology.

  28. 28.

    hovercraft

    @Mnemosyne:
    I watched with my Mom, and for the first 20 minutes she was yelling at the TV and Lester Holt for letting him lie left and right. Then once Hillary started the beat down she was urging her on. It was quite a spectacle watching my mother become more and more bloodthirsty. By the end she could not understand how anyone could support such ignorance. She feels that his answers were actually more incoherent than Sarah Palin’s answers eight years ago.

  29. 29.

    NotMax

    Gonna become like those Russian dolls.

    “I didn’t say I didn’t say that.”

    “I never said I didn’t say I didn’t say that.”

    Ad nauseum.

  32. 32.

    Calouste

    So apparently the #TrumpWon hashtag started in St. Petersburg. Not St. Petersburg, Florida, but St. Petersburg, Russia.

  33. 33.

    SFAW

    @Roger Moore:

    So now Trump is morphing into Martin Short as Nathan Thurm: “I didn’t say that, you said that!”

    THANK YOU!!! I was trying to remember the name of that character. (And too stupid/lazy to try Googling, etc.) But that’s who I think of when I hear Trump with his “never said it” bullshit.

  37. 37.

    hovercraft

    @Patricia Kayden:
    He did wonder out loud if it was deliberate. So it could be that the audio was fine in democratic households, but muted and crackly in republican ones, so that they couldn’t hear him, and would , I don’t know the conspiracy makes no sense.
    If you wanted to sabotage him, wouldn’t it make more sense to interfere with the transmitted sound not the audio in the hall. There were only 1100 people in the hall, why prevent them from hearing,

  38. 38.

    debit

    @p.a.: I wonder if Trump slices up his salad veggies while showering.

    ETA: Sorry for the mental image, but if I have to have it, the rest of you do too.

  40. 40.

    Hungry Joe

    Open Thread? Okay, I’ve been waiting for this. Will keep it as short as possible, which isn’t Very.

    Just got back from three weeks away, including eight days in Iceland:

    A little more than 100 years ago Iceland was the poorest country in Europe. It’s now one of the richest in the world. Economic status ranges from lower-middle-class to upper-middle-class. We saw no homeless, no slums, and no mansions, but a lot of modern apartments/condos and small but nice houses. Minimum wage comes to about US$23,000, but an Icelander told me that it’s a joke because “Nobody would work for that.” Unemployment is at 3.1 percent. Health care is all but free — people with means do have to pay something. Child care is heavily subsidized. Education is free K-university. The air is spectacularly clear even in Reykjavik (pop. 150,000) because almost all power and heat comes from hydroelectric and geothermal sources. Heated public pools/hot tubs are ubiquitous and are open year-round. People relax, hang out, talk to neighbors and even give an earful to a member of parliament if he/she happens to be there, which isn’t at all unlikely.

    We spent four days in Reykjavik (too many tourists, but wonderful anyway) and four days driving around the south. We saw not single police officer, not a single police car. With a population of a little more than 300,000, Iceland has about 300 police, total, and just 45 people in prison. Max penalty is seven years, except for murder, which is 14 years … but there hasn’t been a murder in ten years. Prisoners can apply for, and frequently get, weekend passes.

    After the bank failures in ’08 the IMF recommended that Iceland bail out the banks. Instead, Iceland bailed out the damaged mortgages of individuals and threw some bankers in jail. (They’re among the 45, I guess.) When some of the banks were broken up and sold, bank execs managed to get paid millions in bonuses. It wasn’t illegal, but people were furious. So the government taxed the bonuses … AT 98 PERCENT.

    I saw exactly one Icelandic flag being flown — on a ferry between the mainland and the Westman Islands, where we spent a couple of days. (I think the boat has to display a flag to be in compliance with maritime law.) There wasn’t even a flag flying over the parliament in Reykjavik, although to be fair it may not have been in session. The only other Icelandic flags I saw were on mugs and t-shirts in tourist gift shops.

    Food is fresh and very tasty (little use of preservatives, pesticides, chemicals, etc., and all animals are super free-range) and mind-bogglingly expensive. Like, a light lunch in a non-fancy place, no drinks, is $20-$30 per person, dinner $40-$50 minimum.

    One of my cousins was in Iceland a few years ago, and she told me to be sure to go into a gas-station restroom. I did. It looked like a restroom you’d find in a upscale-ish restaurant in the U.S.

    Icelanders under the age of about 40, although disarmingly friendly, aren’t especially eager to practice their English because they already speak it fluently, with little detectable (to an American) accent. A guide told me that Iceland hasn’t yet been discovered by ugly-American tour-group types — apparently there’s a self-selection process that weeds out most asshole travelers. As a result, Icelanders tend to think that Americans are polite, respectful, and genuinely interested in stuff. Weird, huh?

    About ten percent of the population is now foreign-born. It’s not unusual to have a black barista take your order in English and then converse with co-workers in what sounds (to me, at least) like smooth, effortless Icelandic. Still, you can sort of spot a for-real genetic Icelander because — and I’m sorry to have to say this, but it’s true — they all look a little like Bjork. Ridiculously beautiful women abound. My wife says the same about the men. But even the obviously foreign-born Icelanders looked pretty damn good. It’s just a healthy place to live, for all kinds of reasons.

    In the ninth century, when Iceland was first colonized, it was about 40 percent forested; by the 13th century there wasn’t a tree left on the island. They’re now re-foresting at the rate of about 10 million trees a year, the work being done by school kids 12-16 on summer break. It gets them out of doors, teaches them work ethic, and puts some change in their pockets. About 90 percent of Icelandic kids sign up for this or some other summer environmental work.

    You know all that stuff about the land’s spectacular beauty? Well … yup.

    I’ve been to places that were just as interesting in their own, very different ways (Peru, Israel), but I’ve never been to a country I just plain LIKED as much. Canada is now #2.

  43. 43.

    BruceFromOhio

    @Matt McIrvin: Anything is possible, though she has been pretty open about ‘womanpower’ in casual discussion, pre-election. She runs her own salon business, and has a history of helping out her employees, who tend to be women. She came over with her kit and clean-shaved MrsFromOhio when chemo claimed her tresses; she wouldn’t take any money. If she’s going for the dumpster fire, there’s a lot of kindness and thoughtfulness she has to go under to do it, and it would surprise me if she did. I’m not asking because I don’t want to jinx it.

    I will tease her hubby, though, and ask him how much he paid for his yard signs.

  44. 44.

    Soylent Green

    Will anyone in the press ever ask Trump what “take their oil” means? It might it be a teensy bit relevant to point out that this means throwing all 30 million Iraqis into concentration camps for the rest of their lives while we ship home some 20 percent of the world’s oil reserves (which would take decades) while keeping hundreds of thousands of our troops in place to guard the operation.

    Then we could have airports like Dubai’s.

    Seriously, this is the dumbest single thing the man has ever said (hard to choose, I know) but I have yet to see anyone call him on it.

  47. 47.

    dmsilev

    @hovercraft: If a hypothetical conspiracy wanted to sabotage Trumo, making sure his words were broadcast crystal-clear would seem to be the best course of action.

    By odd coincidence, his words _were_ clearly transmitted. Clearly the conspiracy at work.

  48. 48.

    Bill Arnold

    @dmsilev:

    …it’s just that his consciousness is switching back and forth between alternative universes where he did and did not make those statements.

    He doesn’t seem to be able to handle it, though. Easily confused, perhaps. :-)

  49. 49.

    Felonius Monk

    No, Donald, there was nothing wrong with your microphone. 100 million people heard you loud and clear on television, so it’s really doubtful that people in the live audience couldn’t hear you as well.

    Pro Tip: Act like a man. You got your ass handed to you last night. Admit it and move on. Be better prepared the next time. Oh yeah, before I forget, LAY OFF THE COKE, MAN. Your sniffling is quite annoying.

  50. 50.

    Cacti

    Howard Dean suggests that Trump had coke sniffles last night.

    Personally, I think Howard was just being politically incorrect and speaking from the heart. Isn’t that what the Trumpkins love best? ;-)

  51. 51.

    Patricia Kayden

    @hovercraft:

    So it could be that the audio was fine in democratic households, but muted and crackly in republican ones, so that they couldn’t hear him

    LOL! Well, Republicans and Rightwingers do live in their own alternate universe so there’s that.

  53. 53.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @dmsilev: I think he’s more related to the Schrodinger’s Cat thought experiment. Trump opened the box, saw a dead cat, and put it on his head.

  55. 55.

    Trollhattan

    @Mnemosyne:
    Watched with my kid, now 14 so it’s time, and when Trump brought up his bidnez in the split screen you could see Hillary kind of light up. “Oh, he just opened up the door for her!” and the kid was all “What are you talking about?” Much fun followed as his bidnez practices were hauled out in front of the nation.

    Five minutes in I wondered if he’d be able to maintain that cool/boring demeanor. No worries, as it turned out.

  57. 57.

    Elizabelle

    Clinton on Trump: “Anyone who complains about the microphone is not having a good night”

    I love this one. Sounds like Nancy Smash.

    Speaking of which, do any of you see Nancy Pelosi on anything these days?

  59. 59.

    Schlemazel

    @hovercraft:
    The sound worked fine in Democratic and independent houses but was all screwed up on GOP systems. Instead of sounding smart, prepared and Presidential as the GOP thought he would he sounded exactly like he always has since he started running. They know the GOP would never support anyone as stupid, ill-prepared & unfit as Trump is so it must have been the sound system

  61. 61.

    Enhanced Voting Techinques

    @BR:

    Wait till they read the Melania comments he made — they’ll like him even less.

    Er, it would be just was well if they don’t. Passionate hate isn’t contagious like passionate enthusism.

  63. 63.

    cmorenc

    The Fox News website is madly trying to spin the debate as a huge win for Trump with the public, as shown by online surveys at Drudge and FoxNews (surprise, surprise, surprise!), despite the attempt of the rest of the MSM to portray it as a huge Clinton win and moderator Lester Hold allegedly being completely in the tank for Clinton. Usually, the Fox News website is more restrained than their TV cable channel in being quite so nakedly partisan, but obviously had marching orders from on high to do their best to calm nervous GOP wingers to not believe their lying eyes and ears telling them that Clinton owned Trump and Trump had a disastrous night.

  64. 64.

    Patricia Kayden

    @Hungry Joe:

    Canada is now #2.

    Boo!!

    Just joking. Iceland sounds like a lovely place, especially with such a low crime rate. Imagine living in a country where the last murder took place 10 years ago. My only hesitation in visiting is that I don’t like cold weather and I picture a country with a climate to match its name.

  65. 65.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    I think the the problem with the mic was that it filtered out dog whistle frequencies.

    Or he thought it did, since they didn’t let people cheer and holler for the most part when he gave the signals, unlike every other debate he’s done.

  66. 66.

    Mnemosyne

    @hovercraft:

    I loved that Hillary just let him talk himself into knots, smiling the whole time. Have you seen the GIF the campaign put on Twitter of her big exhale and giggle after one of his rants? If not, I’ll see if I can find it.

  67. 67.

    Trollhattan

    @Hungry Joe:
    Sounds grand. Iceland is on most landscape photographers’ bucket lists and I’d love to give it a go–ironically in winter for the northern lights. Somebody at work traveled there and his wife managed to get a speeding ticket out in the boonies in their rental car. Cracks me up. Californians.

  69. 69.

    different-church-lady

    His mic wasn’t working in the hall, yet the audience in the hall heard him well enough to snigger at his claim he had the better temperament. OK then.

  70. 70.

    Bill E Pilgrim

    @Bill E Pilgrim: Can you order a political cartoon? I think someone should start that service for those of us who can’t draw.

    Donald Trump looking at the microphone saying “Is there something wrong with this thing? It doesn’t seem to be able to pick up dog whistles.”

  72. 72.

    Redshift

    @Bobby Thomson:

    it was too sensitive because it picked up his coke sniffles and defective because the audience didn’t hear his applause lines.

    I know this was snark, but I suspect it’s close to the actual truth.

    The audience, like all presidential debate audiences, was instructed not to applaud or otherwise react to the candidates’ statements. Trump probably intellectually knew this (or maybe not, he might have ignored that part of the briefing), but he feeds on crowd attention, so he cannot stand a crowd that isn’t responding to him. His lines are so great, and he’s so great, the only possible explanation for why they weren’t spontaneously clapping or cheering is that they couldn’t hear him.

    (Also, with regard to a crackling microphone, he’s responded to that during at least one rally by trash-talking the techs, and joking that maybe he wouldn’t pay them.)

  74. 74.

    Hungry Joe

    @SuzieC: I think it’s kind of difficult to move there and work. Not sure about retirees.

    @eclare: Weather was great — clear/partly cloudy and high 50s during the day, high 40s at night, rained only our last day on a long drive to the airport. Reykjavik is fairly mild — it’s on the SW coast, in the path of the Gulf Stream. Not terribly cold in winter, very little snow in Reykjavik, though some of the northern towns get the full Arctic treatment. Only five hours of daylight in Jan. and Feb., but they say you get used to it. AND 18-19 hours of daylight in June-July. AND practically no mosquitoes, few other insects, nothing poisonous or dangerous aside from the terrain, which you damn well better respect. We spent two days in the fishing village in the Westman Islands that was almost obliterated by a new volcano in 1973. We stayed at a place that was about 50 yards from its base. Beautiful, fascinating.

  77. 77.

    Another Scott

    @NotMax: I too heard him say “bigleague”, the 2nd time slightly more distinctly. The first time it was kinda like ‘biglig’.

    I’m going to cut regulations. I’m going to cut taxes big league, and you’re going to raise taxes big league, end of story.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  78. 78.

    Hungry Joe

    @Trollhattan: Icelanders don’t speed much. Very polite drivers. The rental car agency warned us that we’d get a ticket if we went too fast, but I don’t know how that would happen since, as I said, we saw no police presence whatsoever. (Well, we did see a small storefront location in Vik, a town on the southern coast, that said “Police Station,” but it looked like no one was there.)

  80. 80.

    eclare

    @Hungry Joe: Sounds nice! Thanks for the info! I remember reading about how Iceland handled its financial crisis and thinking, wow, wish we would do that.

    ETA: Just pulled up pictures of the Westman Islands – the Pompeii of the North. Gorgeous. Hope you got some good pictures!

  81. 81.

    Another Scott

    @Hungry Joe: Why do you hate America so much!!?!?!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Beautiful post. We’ll have to put it on the list.

    Thanks.

    Cheers,
    Scott.

  91. 91.

    Roger Moore

    @eclare:

    Just pulled up pictures of the Westman Islands – the Pompeii of the North.

    You should read John McPhee’s long-form report about the eruption in Heimaey that was deflected from the town by spraying enormous amounts of water on it. It’s one of the three segments in The Control of Nature.

  94. 94.

    Jeffro

    @Enhanced Voting Techinques:

    Since I am the designated nice liberal these Trump leaners were asking me a lot about his bankruptcies.

    Yes – that and the “paid no taxes BECAUSE I’M SMART” – those have some power to damage his numbers further.

    Btw was talking about the debate with Mrs. Fro with 11-year-old Fro Jr at the table…you know what caught his ear? “What do you MEAN Trump doesn’t pay his bills?” Ah, the sensitivity to injustice of the young.

  96. 96.

    Hungry Joe

    @Roger Moore: Will do — I Iove McPhee essays.

    Yeah, they pumped millions of gallons of seawater onto the lava to slow it down and keep it from engulfing the town and blocking the harbor. A lot of people said it was nuts, but it worked. Still, most of the town was buried in ash; it took months and months to dig it out. There’s a new museum built around a buried house they recently excavated; dishes still on the table, etc. Only one person died in months-long eruption (overcome by toxic fumes), but for a while the island was evacuated of all but lava-battlers. Great story.

  98. 98.

    Bobby Thomson

    @Redshift:

    I know this was snark, but I suspect it’s close to the actual truth.

    Not snark. That’s actually literally what he said, perhaps not in those words. His absurdity laps any attempt at snark. And yes, I’m sure he believes the only reason anyone failed to cheer him must have been a defective mic.

  101. 101.

    NotMax

    @Hungry Joe

    Was there 40+ years ago. Downside was that alcohol was outrageously expensive. In fact, at that time (changed since, as I understand it) the only place in the capital where it was legal to sell beer was at the airport

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