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Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

This must be what justice looks like, not vengeful, just peaceful exuberance.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

This fight is for everything.

Elections aren’t won by handwringing, cowering, and/or bashing your own candidates.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

I like political parties that aren’t owned by foreign adversaries.

The fight for our country is always worth it. ~Kamala Harris

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

If you voted for Trump, you don’t get to speak about ethics, morals, or rule of law.

Seems like a complicated subject, have you tried yelling at it?

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Stamping your little feets and demanding that they see how important you are? Not working anymore.

You are here: Home / Economics / C.R.E.A.M. / One Good Thing Open Thread: Paul Ryan Is *Finally* Going Away

One Good Thing Open Thread: Paul Ryan Is *Finally* Going Away

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Not permanently, I’m sure; like herpes, Repubs of Ryan’s stamp are prone to reappear whenever our political system’s immune system is stressed. But at least his “I Am the Most Earnestly Concerned Policy Wonk” stand-up routine should be limited to the talk shows instead of the news broadcasts for a few blessed months.

Anti-encomium (anticomium?) from the Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver’s premier pig-bladderer, Mr. Charles P. Pierce:

Speaker Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny starver from the state of Wisconsin, has spent this week bidding farewell to Our Nation’s Capital, and taking both his prodigious ego, and parading the tattered remnants of his utterly undeserved reputation down the boulevards of Washington. To complete the metaphor, somebody should have walked behind him with the shovel and a bucket. Ever the charlatan’s charlatan, and in keeping with the spirit of the season, his prolonged valedictory was as full of shit as the Christmas goose.

It began on Tuesday, when we all paid for a six-part miniseries on the electric Twitter machine chronicling Ryan’s rise from his poor but humble origins as the scion of a family that got rich on government construction contracts, to his hardscrabble years when we all paid for his needs through the Social Security survivor’s benefits he received (you’re welcome again, bumblefck), to his career in politics…

The Twitter epic was bad enough but then, on Wednesday, he favored us with a Farewell Address that, quite honestly, if you spread it on the Gobi Desert, you’d have a cash crop of anything you planted within a year.

(Before going on, can we ask, please, who in the fck did he think cared about what he said in his long goodbye? Democratic politicians never had much use for him. The scales seem to have dropped from the eyes of his misbegotten acolytes in the elite political press; make no mistake, Ryan’s rise to eminence represents yet another monumental failure on their part. And the Republican power base in the House wanted him replaced by Jim Jordan, for pity’s sake.)…

He had one major policy goal and, thank Baal, he only achieved half of it. He did manage to shove so much of the nation’s wealth so far upwards that it now endangers the crew of the International Space Station. However, he failed to throw seniors into the loving arms of his donors in the financial-services industry, and he also failed to turn their health-care over the his donors in the insurance industry. Poor Paul. He was so sad about this…

Wait — did someone say ‘going away’? Nah, I’m sure this is just one more example of Ryan’s and his fellow GOP “leaders” looking the other way while a hostile government infiltrated America…

Reader Interactions

82Comments

  1. 1.

    Yutsano

    Alas, poor Paulie! I knew him, Horatio.

    Now if we could only get him to be a desiccated husk like poor Yorick.

  3. 3.

    Yutsano

    @Baud: My understanding from that race is Iron Stache worked his ass off during the primary and then phoned it in through the general. Even with enthusiasm he still should have done better than nine points if he had bothered to campaign.

  5. 5.

    A Ghost To Most

    Ryan owes America a debt he will never repay. Fuck Paul Ryan and Ayn Rand and all the other greedy as fuck Randian assholes.

  7. 7.

    Baud

    I hope we get a thread in the 12 debates the Dems are planning starting in June!

    And if there are too many people, there will be 2-night debates with candidatee assigned randomly!

  8. 8.

    Mike in NC

    When I heard that Paul Ryan was planning a Farewell Address, I immediately knew it would top anything George Washington or Dwight Eisenhower could manage.

  9. 9.

    lamh36

    Nancy ” maybe he thinks if he shuts down government he can golf mor comfortably…that’s not how it works”

    NANCY SMASH!!!

  11. 11.

    A Ghost To Most

    They are throwing up their hands,” said reporter Kasie Hunt, saying the continuing resolution had been “on a glide path” until Trump blew everything up. “A lot of these rank and file Republicans who normally leadership can count onto vote with them, they wanted to know if the president was going to sign it if they voted it.” Hunt added that one member of Congress told her his job had devolved into “waiting around on Donald Trump to tweet.”

    “The Senate is basically gone,” Hunt continued. “Ted Cruz walked by reporters and said ‘I think we need to follow through on that border wall promise’ and Bob Corker started laughing.”

    Host Katy Tur, struggling not to laugh, began reading from a report filed by MSNBC producer Frank Thorp

    “”The question is, ‘why are you laughing’, Corker says ‘well, why not? Y’all have fun. I might not see y’all for a while,’” Tur read from the transcript, which revealed Corker had no intention of coming back from Tennessee for more votes, and that he had given up entirely on leadership from the White House.

    Bob Corker laughs in Ted Cruz’ face

  15. 15.

    dr. bloor

    One down. I eagerly await the overthrow of Russia’s chief asset in the Senate, Mitchell Adisonovich.

  17. 17.

    dr. bloor

    @Baud: An indelible stain that was as predictable as a three year old spilling his juice at dinner. Except for the derisive laughter at the self-styled “next generation,” it’s already so small in the rear view mirror that it can barely be seen.

  19. 19.

    dr. bloor

    @Wapiti: He was never good for more than a sarcastic laugh or an indignant tweet. He can go fuck himself the with biggest American Steel guitar he can find in Memphis.

  20. 20.

    trollhattan

    Thanks Mr. Pierce, that’s worth of enshrinement alongside HR Thompson’s Nixon obituary.

    The way he frames it, Ryan achieved exactly what GW Bush did, just without spinning up an unneeded war. Limits of running the House, I suppose.

  23. 23.

    WaterGirl

    @dr. bloor: Corker is a total fucking coward. Once he knew he was leaving, he could have made a difference. He and Jeff Flake can be the founding members of the total fucking cowards club.

  25. 25.

    WaterGirl

    I was feeling overwhelmed by the news before I checked my email. From the Southern Poverty Law Center:

    America’s anti-LGBT hate groups are lobbying against women, LGBT people in Italy
    Much of the American anti-LGBT activity in Italy, including activity by the World Congress of Families, moves through CitizenGO, a petition platform for the global Christian right that includes several influential WCF staffers on its board. The organization stepped up its efforts to bring American anti-LGBT leaders to Italy last summer.
    READ MORE

    SPLC: Trump’s school safety commission recommendations make schools less safe
    After the tragic school shooting in Parkland, Fla., President Trump established the Federal Commission on School Safety, led by Education Secretary Betsy DeVos. Last week, the commission recommended withdrawing an Obama-era policy designed to prevent discriminatory discipline in the classroom. Children of color, children with disabilities, and LGBTQ youth represent an overwhelming number of students who are suspended or expelled from school each year. We’re calling out the administration’s attempt to make schools less safe for the most vulnerable students.
    READ MORE

    17,000 people in Arkansas lose Medicaid coverage
    The Arkansas Department of Human Services reported that another 4,600 residents were stripped of their Medicaid coverage this month. That’s 17,000 people who’ve lost access to health care because of the state’s misguided work requirements. The SPLC has sued to strike down the new policy, which was encouraged by the Trump administration and targets many people who need help the most.
    READ MORE

    It did give me a laugh to see the “READ MORE” after each summary. I thought, gee, do I want to read more, and then slit my wrists, or just slit my wrists now? (not literally)

  26. 26.

    cynn

    So the government will shut down, the last adult has left the building, the malignant garden gnome will flit off to his happy place, and Paul Ryan waltzes away with his legacy. The only consolation is that tomorrow is the shortest day of the fucking year.

  28. 28.

    Schlemazel

    Senator Upchuck Gastly, a couple hours ago:

    To all the ppl who always disagree w my tweets bc I’m a Republican-what do u think of us passing bipartisan criminal justice reform that I’ve worked on for yrs???

  29. 29.

    lamh36

    @renato_mariotti
    Follow Follow @renato_mariotti
    More Renato Mariotti Retweeted CNN
    If Trump’s national security team all told him not to withdraw from Syria, who told him to withdraw? We deserve to know the answer.

    I think this is a good question. But some folks too busy cheering the haphazard decision, and not paying attention to the fact that he has no details on the how and hasn’t even consulted the exact folk who job it would be to arrange the withdrawal.

    And especially with someone like Chump who we all know AIN’T a smart guy and easily manipulated to think it’s all his idea, especially if it gets him good press or warm feeling from his base.

  39. 39.

    Yarrow

    From that Hoarse Whisperer tweet:

    Soooo… what did Paul Ryan know and when did he know it?

    A lot. Paulie Blue-Eyes know a lot. Like, shutting down any discussion of who Russia owns. And chairing the Republican convention when they were buddying up to Kislyak, changing the platform re: Ukraine, not to mention laundering Russian money. So that sort of thing. Go spend time with your kids now, Paul. You won’t get that kind of time when you’re in prison.

  41. 41.

    WaterGirl

    @Frankensteinbeck: oh my god, seriously?

    In my teens, I made that mistake for about a minute when I was reading one of those signs at the zoo. Something along the lines of:

    Elephants always travel in groups, led by an old cow.

  44. 44.

    Frankensteinbeck

    @WaterGirl:
    Yes. He had a list of things starting with ‘c’ that he believes come across the border, and the last item was “And, believe it or not, coyotes.” Presumably someone else wrote the speech and he ad-libbed the ‘believe it or not’, unaware he was revealing just how fucking stupid and ignorant he is.

  45. 45.

    lamh36

    Hey Adam…weren’t you talking about Turkey?

    @rabrowne75
    5m5 minutes ago
    More
    Defense officials tell me Mattis went to the White House to discuss Syria & that he was livid after reading reports that Turkey’s Defense Minister threatened to kill US-backed Kurds & put them in ditches once the US withdrew. He was incensed at this notion of betrayal of an ally

  47. 47.

    lamh36

    @emptywheel
    2h2 hours ago
    More
    I can’t think of a single respectable candidate who’d want to be SecDef.

    Which means Tom Cotton will prolly get it.

    @seungminkim
    40m40 minutes ago
    More
    House leaders did NOT get a heads up about Mattis departure, according to a GOP leadership aide

  50. 50.

    lamh36

    @NBCPolitics
    2m2 minutes ago
    More
    Rep. Pelosi, in tweet, on resignation of Defense Sec. Mattis: “His resignation letter is defined by statements of principle — principles that drove him to leave the Administration. All of us should be concerned at this time.”

  55. 55.

    jl

    @NotMax: ” And we’re nearly back to W yattering about human-animal hybrids. ”

    GOP stand on the manimal threat may be it’s genuine legacy.
    They haven’t done much on the Krellian id-monster threat, though.

  57. 57.

    Mike in DC

    @lamh36: The same thing will happen to all allies and democratizing forces in Afghanistan after we pull out. Convenient that we’re cutting our refugee allowances, I guess. Make Allies Guess Again!

  58. 58.

    ArchTeryx

    Would-be mass murdering scum slinks back to the swamp that spawned him, where he’ll lay in wait for his next prey.

    I’m rooting for starvation, myself. Let him get a taste of his own medicine before he passes the mortal coil.

  62. 62.

    Quinerly

    House passes Bill to fund Wall and keep government open. I’m a little bit confused. Guess Pelosi was wrong when she told Trump that he didn’t have the Repug votes in the House. Also, I thought many had gone home yesterday. And, yes, I realize it won’t pass the Senate.

  64. 64.

    lamh36

    @Quinerly: the bill that passed will NOT pass the Senate. It was not the same bill that passed the Senate. Ryan and McCarthy put up another bill that the Senate would not agree to cause Chump asekd. That is what Pelois said. Trump doesn’t have the votes in the Senate

    ETA: Schumer tonight ALSO said the bill on the House floor would not be able to pass the Senate so they’ll be back to square one with the bill that was passed by Senate and hopefully enough folks there to vote on it tomorrow

    ETA2: All Dems voted NO

  65. 65.

    tobie

    @Quinerly: They did this to put pressure on the Democrats –all the while knowing and praying that Democrats in the Senate will reject this. I want to see the roll call. 40 outgoing Republicans couldn’t muster the courage to buck the President and the party. They’re cowards, every last one.

  66. 66.

    Platonailedit

    Pierce in 2013

    I swear, it is harder to get the members of our courtier press to give up their fairy tales than it is to get someone off smack. By all reasonable measures, Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny starver from the state of Wisconsin and first runner-up in the most recent vice-presidential pageant, should be a spent force in our politics. Every time he produces a “budget,” actual economists collapse in helpless laughter and other Republicans hide behind the drapes. As a vice-presidential candidate, Joe Biden made him look like a child, and Ryan was unable even to carry his own precinct for the Republican ticket. However, that is not to reckon with his army of Beltway acolytes from both sides of the aisle — And, yes, young Ezra Klein, I am looking at you — and their undying desire to rehabilitate their imaginary friends.

    If I do nothing for the rest of my career here than point out what a complete fake this guy is, while embarrassing the fatheads who still take him seriously, I will die a happy blogger.

  68. 68.

    jl

    @Baud: ” It’s an indelible stain on us that this was even a debate our side had. ”

    I don’t think debate itself, or even a challenge, is an indelible stain. Pelosi holds an elective position within Congress, and she needs to prove that she is worthy of leadership by winning it when the time comes for reelection.

    There are benefits to to the debate. One big one is that her corporate Democratic opposition (the five white bros and their associates) completely discredited themselves. It is hard to imagine how they could put up a more impotent and incompetent challenge than the last one, but they managed it. I cannot imagine anyone taking Tim Ryan or Seth Moulton seriously about anything ever again.

    I think Pelosi emerged stronger from the challenge. And to be a really great leader, her last task is to get a new cohort of great Democratic leadership up and running as soon as possible, since sadly, .like the rest of us, she is not immortal. I don’t think a good idea that people like Hoyer or Sanchez step in after her. And Hoyer is no spring chicken, either by the calendar or in his thinking.

  69. 69.

    Elizabelle

    Mazie Hirono just called something “such bullshit I won’t be able to stand it.” Made it right onto the Chris Hayes show without bleeping it out.

    Think it was about any attempt by Trump etc to blame Dems for the shutdown. Could have been something else. But LOL. MSNBC was not expecting that from a US Senator. And a woman, yet.

    LOL.

  70. 70.

    jl

    @Quinerly: ” Guess Pelosi was wrong when she told Trump that he didn’t have the Repug votes in the House. ”

    What commenter tobie said. And I’d be happy to let Trujmp brag that Pelosi was wrong somehow. Now, very hard, almost impossible, to evade fact that whatever mess ensues is a 100 percent GOP product.

  71. 71.

    Quinerly

    @lamh36: I said I knew it wouldn’t pass the Senate. House vote was 218 to 185. Pelosi challenged Trump last week… She said it wouldn’t pass the House. My point is that it did.

  79. 79.

    Duane

    Two “Young Guns” dead in the street. McCarthy’s next. A little time as Ryan replacement and the KKKlowns will shoot him down.

  80. 80.

    Kirk Spencer

    @Quinerly: No she didn’t say that. Transcript of the meeting.

    She told him he had the house. She called him on not submitting his plan even though he had the house because he wasn’t willing to negotiate, to persuade enough Senate democrats to vote for it as well. She told him that he would not get his wall.

    But she never said he didn’t have the votes in the house. Read the transcript yourself.

  81. 81.

    Quinerly

    @Kirk Spencer: From the transcript 12/11… Pelosi: “That’s what the House Republicans could do if they had the votes. But there are no votes in the House, a majority of votes, for a wall, no matter where you…”

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