I wouldn’t be surprised if he were already spoken for, but this is definitely of interest to this blog.
OMG, big boi Mr. B is a CHONK. He’s a chonk of a chonk. He redefines the term. Can you guess how much he weighs? More importantly, can you give him a home? Adopt this jumbo-sized package of fluff & love: https://t.co/v8aB6PzBbL. Please RT to help this sad-eyed guy find happiness! pic.twitter.com/tquRuvRaws
— MORRIS ANIMAL REFUGE (@MorrisAnimal) August 22, 2019
Citizen Alan
I’m pretty sure that’s a bobcat.
Comrade Colette Collaboratrice
No. My new cat, at 18 pounds, is a chonk. That is a bobcat. I really don’t think people should adopt bobcats.
ALurkSupreme
Holy crap!
Peej01
Cole posted that he wanted him?
Yarrow
According to the listing he weighs 26 pounds. His name is BeeJay. Seems appropriate to post about him here at B-J.
Miss Bianca
He might be one of those exotics – like a Savannah cat (tho’ he’d be pretty chonky even for one of them!) Doesn’t look like a bobcat to me.
Peej01
Ps, bobcats have stubby tails. He doesn’t. He’s just a mutant.
Raven
When Lil Bit was diagnosed with Autoimmune Hemolytic Anemia there was a site called Meisha’s Hope named after a pup that had died from the disease. If a dog lived a year after diagnoses they were eligible to be the cover dog and Lil Bit made it. The site was connected with the Morris Animal Foundation and we still give to them now and then. As a side note, Morris the Cat belonged to Stuart Kennels in Lombard. IL and I was friends with the family. I’ll skip the Morris stories, it was the early 70’s!
A Ghost To Most
Just what I need; a 26 lb.er to go with 2 18 lb.ers. I’ll show my wife.
Dan B
Fitting that Cheryl would post this since it’s clear that radiation was involved.
Notice to Cole: I don’t think Steve would approve and the pups and neighbors are likely to be terrified.
SiubhanDuinne
@Yarrow:
I was going to guess 30-35 lbs. When I was a kid we had a 25-pounder, and this kitteh makes him look bulimic.
TaMara (HFG)
Oh, boy… I so want him.
TenguPhule
@Peej01:
Cole is also a little crazy.
zhena gogolia
@TaMara (HFG):
Me too.
ChrisS
I’m afraid to weigh my cat. She likes to eat and I like my kitties chonky. She’s probably pushing 16-18 lbs now, but she’s solid.
The lady at the cat coalition was “concerned” about us adopting a kitten because my cat was fat and apparently that means we’re bad parents.
Baud
Obviously juicing.
zhena gogolia
It’s the sad eyes that really make him cute.
zhena gogolia
@ChrisS:
Oh, I got so much of that — we had three cats, a brother and two sisters, and the brother was fat and the sisters weren’t, even though they all got the same food.
catclub
I liked the leopard print headwrap. Thematic.
maybe its an [email protected]Peej01:
Miss Bianca
@Raven: I remember Morris the Cat! Hell, I even had his biography! You can tell all the Morris stories you want as far as I’m concerned!
@TaMara (HFG): @zhena gogolia: Me three.
Wapiti
Wow. That’s a serious cat.
Peej01
My cat is 16+ pounds. My excuse is that he was that weight when I adopted him.
Raven
@Miss Bianca: I don’t think the cat people here want to hear it. It wasn’t violent but it was psychedelic.
PaulWartenberg
@Peej01:
IT’S A FLERKEN!!!
https://youtu.be/THzFPcvjgwk
Kyle
@A Ghost To Most: Can’t imagine being an 18lb cat and thinking you’re the king/queen of the hill, and then having a 26lb-er drop in. Actually, I think in the video she says he’s 34 lbs. I had a 19lb cat and he looks much bigger than she was.
Raven
@Kyle: It’s not the size of the cat in the fight. . .
gvg
@Miss Bianca: I had the Morris biography too. I had forgotten that.
John Revolta
Can somebody ‘splain to me………….
What the hell is “net gross” revenues??
satby
Well, as of a minute ago he doesn’t seem to have any applications pending. He’s in Philadelphia, so if a jackal needs some transportation $$ I’m in.
Dorothy A. Winsor
Don’t get all judge-y. That cat just has big bones.
Cheryl Rofer
I think he’s adorable, but at 26 pounds, one of him equals both of my boys.
Baud
@John Revolta:
Gross revenues from sports involving a net.
NY Robbin
@TaMara (HFG):
He’ll scare your dogs . . .
Miss Bianca
@Raven: Now you’re really intriguing me, I’m afraid.
kindness
Awesome cat. Doesn’t look fat, just huge. Sadly Phili is too far from CA for me to even consider going there. My dogs wouldn’t care…well the 105 lb shepard mutt wouldn’t care. The 35 lb one….might get a lil squeemish. My cats…..it wouldn’t matter. One cat is sweet and nice and the other is a butt head that none of the other critters like. She would get an education with that monster around.
Miss Bianca
@satby: Just sent an email to D saying, “well, we’ve got a pitbull and a wolf…why not a bobcat?”! :)
ruemara
I could go for a chonk of cat, but the kids say no.
TenguPhule
@John Revolta:
Revenues after returns/allowances but before costs are deducted.
John Revolta
@Baud: Duh. I shoulda figured that one out by myself.
M31
yeah whoever gets that cat will have to buy Greenland just to have room for it
EL
I’m in for transportation $$. A request: I want updates from the eventual adopter!
mrmoshpotato
I saw that beast on Cole’s Twitter. That is no feline. Wow.
Villago Delenda Est
He’s a big cat, but he’s not a fat cat.
mrmoshpotato
@TaMara (HFG): Ducks, and danes and a giant kitty. Oh my!
P.S. Follow the yellow brick road.
John Revolta
@TenguPhule: So how is that different from “gross”? Translate into Low Jackalese if possible……..
TenguPhule
@John Revolta:
Gross is literally all revenues earned regardless of whether or not you had to give some of it back later. Its the starting point of determining your actual income.
Net income is in practical terms what money you actually have on hand (not literally) after selling stuff and paying all the bills you had to incur to make those sales.
mrmoshpotato
@M31: Sorry, Dump. (Private citizen) outbid you for Greenland. The loyal American needed a place for an enormous house cat.
TenguPhule
@TenguPhule:
Sometimes when you buy stuff from a store, you’re not satisfied and want to return it for a refund.
The store gross revenue counts the original sale only.
Net gross counts the original sale but also factors in that you got your money back, so in effect the store actually didn’t make any money.
chris
26lbs? Pfft! Charlie was about two and 19 lean pounds when I adopted him in ’98. He had food issues and peaked at 34 pounds. In the picture he’s 14 and about 26 pounds after years of “dieting.” Here’s another with a 16 litre pot! He was the most loving cat I’ve ever known and I still miss him.
Sloane Ranger
Yes Gods,that is a leopard in disguise! Don’t be fooled by its cute expression people. It has clearly formulated a plan to ingratiate itself into a household and then, when the humans are asleep, eat their faces!
misterpuff
@Sloane Ranger: So you’re saying its a Republican Fat Cat?
zhena gogolia
@chris:
Sweetie!
Tom Levenson
I too want that cat. But Tikka says no.
SiubhanDuinne
@Sloane Ranger:
I’m just trying to imagine that big boi leaping square onto my bladder at 4:30 a.m. That’s challenging enough even from a 10-pounder.
Doug R
@catclub: OMG! Someone’s found a fat ocelot!
zhena gogolia
Great story on Cole’s twitter about Thurston and a loaf of bread.
ruemara
@zhena gogolia: That cracked me up
What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?
On the one hand, owning him would be spectacular. On the other, I’m afraid he might eat my 25 lb. terrier mix, who I love dearly. So I’d have to pass.
SFAW
@Baud:
Maybe the Phillies can use him, because Bryce Harper does not seem to be quite as proficient as they had hoped. His GWAR is only about two-thirds of (rookie) Pete Alonso’s this year. Ha!
SFAW
@zhena gogolia:
Yeah. It may not be the Cole-iest Cole story ever, but it’s in the running.
Sloane Ranger
@misterpuff: Win!
@SiubhanDuinne: Ouch! I feel for you!
?BillinGlendaleCA
OT: I got a drone a couple of years ago that was large enough to require a FAA license. I got an email from the FAA just now reminding me that attaching a weapon to a drone is illegal.
Who woulda thunk?
Barbara
@John Revolta: I am sure it is a defined term! Basically, a percentage of everything minus a few exclusions. For instance, if they charge sales tax for food that amount is probably not considered revenue.
JPL
@?BillinGlendaleCA: But the second amendment doesn’t necessarily say that. I’d challenge that.
John Revolta
@TenguPhule: Gotcha.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@JPL: I know, it’s my gawd given right under the 2nd amendment to hook up my AR-15 to my drone.
Here’s the relevant text from the email:
AThornton
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
Some people are hard of thunking.
Introducing the TF-19 Flamethrower Drone
A Ghost To Most
@Kyle: I could use him to keep the coyotes away.
John Revolta
@Barbara: Makes sense.
Still like Baud’s answer best though.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@AThornton: When I read the email, I was thinking “flamethrower, really?”.
danielx
Holy shit.
I’d be interested but I’m afraid he’d eat Natasha as an appetizer. But I hope SOMEBODY takes him in.
zhena gogolia
@danielx:
I think somebody will. He seems to be trending on twitter. (at least I’ve seen him on several twitter feeds)
danielx
@AThornton:
The possibilities are too horrible to contemplate.
lurker dean
if anyone is serious about chonky mister b, i live close enough i could pick him up. i could probably meet cole somewhere halfway to wv :o)
someone in the chonky thread mentioned that he must eat a lot of lasagne. which reminds me of a story a co-worker told me. she had an exchange student from a small asian country staying with her, i can’t remember which country. the student’s parents came to the US to visit, so my co-worker made dinner for them. lasagne. apparently at dinner the parents were staring at the lasagne, not eating. finally, the student asked them what was up. they said they thought lasagne was cat food, because of garfield! they were fine after they were assured it’s actually people food in the US, lol. it makes complete sense if you’ve never eaten it before and only have seen it because a cartoon cat eats it. this co-worker isn’t a BS-er so i think she’s sincere about it.
CaseyL
When I tried to go to the site for more info, I got a notice that it was “on pause” due to high traffic volume. Maybe a whole bunch of folks are elbowing each other out of the way to adopt that big fella.
I’d take him in a heartbeat, but am not sure what my current kitties would think. Oscar considers himself the King of All Creation; I’m not sure his worldview would survive meeting someone twice his size!
Keith P.
@Peej01: I had someone here try to claim – sight unseen – that my tail-less kitten was a bobcat. Nope, she’s too small and has a nub, not a half-tail (plus, she has other obvious manx features like big ears, long legs, and a double layered coat)
TenguPhule
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
Which corrupt Nazi is currently running the FAA?
SiubhanDuinne
@Sloane Ranger:
Yeah, my late, great Bessie was a total snuggle bug, but in the wee hours she would leave the bed, prowl for an hour or so, and then come back and launch herself heavily right onto my abdomen. Not my favourite way of waking up!
TenguPhule
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
Right, drones are meant for long range engagements, not knife-fights.
AThornton
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
It’s amazing how amazingly stupid some people are.
On a larger scale, Do It Yourself drone warfare is the coming thing. Yemen’s Houthi rebels staged a drone attack against the Saudi oilfields last week with some success. If they had known what they were doing, had the equipment for Real Time Control, and commercial grade drones … 50 kilos of C4 make BIG bang! … they could have caused some serious damage.
Early innings.
Expect more attacks in the coming years.
Gravenstone
@?BillinGlendaleCA: Vaguely recall seeing footage of a utility using flamethrower equipped drones to help clear the right of ways for remote power lines.
Elizabelle
@zhena gogolia: It is hilarious. Needs to be a blogpost. With photos.
JPL
@zhena gogolia: My previous mutt Miss Moxie hid food for a rainy day, but she trusted my son and let him know where she hid the leftovers. It was quite interesting, because he would visit and ask. She never ever let me know where she was hiding scraps.
Mnemosyne
@?BillinGlendaleCA:
Back in the old days at USC, a frat boy was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon for using a slingshot to fire a frozen grapefruit at passers-by.
trollhattan
Jayzuz, that’s a lotta cat!
Like the color scheme, though. Matching jammies for the lucky adopting family?
Somebody dumped a BIG dog on CA 50 and the CHP picked him up and brought him to safety. He’s now up for adoption. Settle down, TaMara!
JPL
@lurker dean: lol Decades ago my son came home from middle school and said his teacher ate dog food for snacks. I asked further questions and discovered that she ate plain mini rice cakes which at the time were snacks for my dogs. I can relate.
hmmm Maybe I’ll share the story with his wife…
mrmoshpotato
@JPL: @?BillinGlendaleCA: Right. If “Corporations are people, my friend.” (No, they’re not. Fuck you, Mittington. I can’t go punch Nestle in the face.) Then why not drones or Zoidberg?
Mnemosyne
@CaseyL:
Oscar is a cat. His worldview with himself at the center wouldn’t budge an inch. Because cat.
lurker dean
@JPL: lol, on the rice cake dog food. makes total sense in context.
?BillinGlendaleCA
@mrmoshpotato:
I used to be able to do that, Nestle USA HQ was in Glendale.
TomatoQueen
He is quite a boi. Having dealt with kitty weight issues, I was at first wondering whether his thyroid functioning had been tested, but just looking at him I’d say he’s a cross between a Maine Coon and a Norwegian Forest Cat, with some miscellany thrown in.
laura
@ruemara: my bad timing missed all your swearing in reports other than having your flag swiped. I just want you to know how grateful I am that you’ve thrown your lot in with us Americans, we’re lucky to have you. I hope there was joy, delicious cake, voter registration and the offer of providing you with a flag still stands.
That big kiki is big and I hope he gets the lovingest of homes.
Scott Alloway
Our Miss Priss (34 pounds) and Pippin (31 pounds) were rescue siblings. She lived to be 11; he made it to 18. They were on diet food from age 1 on and no table scraps. She was 30 inches nose to end of tail; his was 35 inches. He, however, could leap from the floor to your shoulders. You would brace yourself when he crouched to leap.
Our latest rescue pair are 8 and 9 pounders. What a transition.
brantl
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: That is not a bobcat, face is wrong.
zhena gogolia
Jay
Jay
Michael Allen
@Comrade Colette Collaboratrice: Seems kind of cooperative for a bobcat.
Jay
Jay
@Michael Allen:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lKJkKnaImic
Canada Max, just a big Lynx kitty.
Jay
Jay
Jay
Any mods around?
Jay
MoxieM
I love him. I just love him. (Alas, my dog would not appreciate the company. )
Anybody needs help $$ with transport (or advice on the harnesses we use to lift older Newfies when their hips start to give out :) ) I’m in.
Love that cat.
Stuart Frasier
I’m in awe at the size of this lad. Absolute unit.