The surveillance state panopticon is preventing me from living out the American dream at a live performance of Beetlejuice in Denver, Colorado.
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) September 16, 2023
They say all publicity is good publicity, and certainly Rep. Boebert has had no problem using previous (shall we say) unorthodox behavior to garner sympathy from her voting base — or at least her donor base, which for a woman who seems to have entered politics as an alternative to declaring bankruptcy is presumably incentive enough. But her latest shenanigans don’t seem to have inspired the usual defensive clamor from the right-wing media, so…
Lauren Boebert, a self-proclaimed staunch proponent of “protecting our children from obscene content they should not be exposed to” can be seen here at an all-ages Beetlejuice musical rubbing a man’s crotch while he gropes her breasts. Again, at an all-ages family show. 🤔 pic.twitter.com/tm08Q5Lifj
— Laura Burkhardt (@LauraAnnSTL) September 15, 2023
Lauren Boebert has perhaps shown a desire to reach across the aisle here.
— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) September 16, 2023
Spare a thought (or a chuckle) for “bar proprietor Quinn Gallagher”, who is going to have an embarrassing few days even if the Advocate is wrong in its identification as Boebert’s date…
U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert, a far-right Republican known for her homophobic and transphobic rhetoric, is dating a man who co-owns a bar that has hosted LGBTQ+ events.
Boebert and her date, Aspen, Colo., bar proprietor Quinn Gallagher, were forced to leave the Buell Theater in Denver during a performance of the musical Beetlejuice Sunday night because they were disturbing other audience members…
The man with Boebert has now been identified as Gallagher, co-owner of Hooch Craft Cocktail Bar in Aspen. The U.K.’s Daily Mail was the first to report the news.
The fact that they are dating is “very surprising,” someone described as “a well-placed source” told the Mail. “I always thought Quinn was a cool guy and a Democrat. His parents would be horrified because they are definitely blue,” the source said…
Maybe Mr. Quinn can claim he was just admiring the structural integrity of Rep. Boebert’s new implants?
personally i find it offensive that children are exposed to such behavior (heterosexuality)
— Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq. (@clapifyoulikeme) September 15, 2023
Considering the rest of the video, she should have just admitted to the vaping. https://t.co/IQaEvkpnDR
— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) September 16, 2023
Hate when "the natural anxiety of being in a new environment" causes me to grab the dick of the dude sitting next to me. So relatable. https://t.co/QW00WeWmxi
— Centrism Fan Acct ?? (@Wilson__Valdez) September 16, 2023
When the overzealous intern ™ is … the candidate https://t.co/kbpKj28rKm
— Jonathan Martin (@jmart) September 16, 2023
Might want to rephrase this…. https://t.co/ki6wV4pC3d
— Jeff Greenfield (@greenfield64) September 16, 2023
Wise words from an expert on embarrassing oneself in public:
it also did not hurt anyone, unlike most MAGA legislation
— John Cole (@Johngcole) September 16, 2023
I don't care if Boebert blows an entire football squad cosplaying as Ted Cruz on top of a Russian Tank in the middle of a Trump rally. Give 'em their money's worth, I say, and earn a tip to boot.
But when she then starts lecturing America about "Christian values," well, it's on.
— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) September 16, 2023
On stage, if the sponsors of the Texas Republican Youth Summit don’t chicken out!
NEW: The Texas Republican Youth Summit has added Lauren Boebert as a speaker following her getting kicked out of a Denver theater for public sex acts, vaping, and causing a disruption. https://t.co/R1MQBwhPp7
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) September 16, 2023
Give Your Voters What They Want: not a live performance piece, it is to be hoped.
War for Ukraine Day 570.1: Possible Russian Missile Attack Is Imminent!
mrmoshpotato
If Beetlejuice says her name three times, does she appear and give him a handjob?
Not sorry.
Alison Rose
Is she gonna teach the youths how to give a hand job?
scav
So, will concerned mothers everywhere come together to ban all newly divorced women from school grounds? Or, given where the activities manifested, will they be forced to ban them from all public places? I mean, imagine letting your innocent daughters share a public restroom with such degenerates!!
Soprano2
Wow, I had not watched the video before. No wonder they got thrown out! One of the few benefits of Christian evangelicals supporting TFG is that I never have to take their lectures about “family values” and morality seriously again. Not that I listened to them before, but I used to think some of them meant it. Not now if they support TFG.
Ben Cisco
@Alison Rose: I’m sure she’ll be happy to show them some hands-on politics.
eclare
@scav:
Good questions!
piratedan
Pretty sure that Texas brought her in to give a seminar on Community Outreach <rimshot>
wjca
Seems like too wide a net. Perhaps just divorcees with implants?
Chetan Murthy
@wjca:
The appropriate criterion is “GrOPer with gonads”. But they can’t do that can they?
SpaceUnit
Clutching dicks is all the GOP has right now.
HumboldtBlue
@SpaceUnit:
And here I thought I was a Democrat.
mrmoshpotato
@SpaceUnit: Straw dicks?
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
Was she vaping or were her implants venting helium?
Shalimar
I’m still trying to figure out how Beetlejuice could make anyone horny. As if she wasn’t already weird in so many different ways.
Sister Golden Bear
@mrmoshpotato:
If she says Beetlejuice three times, he will cum.
Chetan Murthy
@Shalimar: The only time I made out with a girlfriend in a theater, it was playing Dangerous Liaisons. But I had it on good authority from (male) friends that horror movies made for great dates. No idear, myself: I almost passed out from fright in Alien 3 and again in Vamp.
Ceci n est pas mon nym
@Shalimar: Think about her date. I know we shouldn’t kink-shame, but apparently Lauren Boebert makes him horny.
Personally, like most guys, it’s pondering the Roman Empire that does it for me.
Dangerman
Obvious misunderstanding; he said he had a tough day, needed a rub down and she understood it as rub up. Easy to do.
i think we were seconds away from an Alanna Morrissette lyric from what was going down.
Atticus Dogsbody
For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose handjobs are perfect toward Him.
2 Chronicles 1:69
Atticus Dogsbody
@Atticus Dogsbody: Oops… my mistake. 2 Chronicles 16:9
mrmoshpotato
@Atticus Dogsbody: I thought that was chapter 69, verse 69.
NotMax
In a word, blech.
Quaker in a Basement
Start the countdown to wingers claiming it was all a setup by Democrats.
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
@Quaker in a Basement: It was ANTIFA!
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
Judging from the size of those implants, inflation is still out of control
Dangerman
@David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch:
Do the styles have a name? “Yes, I’d like a set of the Hindenburgs, please?”. I’m thinking it’s because she wanted Donald’s attention. Got a set of the Stormy’s.
🐾BillinGlendaleCA
@David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch: Here in ‘The Valley’ we call ’em Bolt Ons.
Mel
She’s certainly… enthusiastic and fully committed in her double-fisted crotch pummeling.
“All Hands on Dick!” – the new GOP 2024 motivational campaign slogan?
Tony Jay
@Quaker in a Basement:
Well, that’s the next step, isn’t it? The tearful apology/not an apology drafted by staff has only opened her up to more mockery, the GOP itself hasn’t exactly exploded into life defending her and while some MAGAP-friendly groups are providing cover, all that means is she has to talk about the incident and her response to it some more = opportunity for shoving another foot or three down that gullet of hers.
So really, pivoting to “The recently-divorced Congresswoman was approached at an emotionally trying time by a Woke Democratic activist masquerading as a local business owner and accepted what she thought at the time to be a friendly offer of tickets to a family friendly musical. Before the performance this Woke Democratic activist plied the Congresswoman with possibly drug-laced mocktails (we are awaiting toxicology tests) which could potentially cause the memory loss and uncharacteristic behaviours the Congresswoman has alluded to already. On reviewing footage of the incident it is clear that the Woke Democratic activist is the one initiating physical contact verging on sexual assault, while the Congresswoman attempted to fend him off using what anyone qualified should easily recognise as Krav Maga self-Defense techniques. We have passed all of this information on to Colorado Police and expect them to act swiftly to get this date-rape Democrat off the streets. No further questions.” seems the safest bet.
Dangerman
I’m waiting for the excuse that it was AI generated video (although asking AI to produce a video of LB giving her date a helping hand clearly went wrong).
p.a.
Anxiety, public place, crowd of radical leftists (it was in the theatre, dahling!), it’s only natural for a MAGAT to reach for a gun.
lowtechcyclist
@Mel:
Its over half a century since “Don’t change Dicks in the middle of a screw” but everything old is new again.
lowtechcyclist
And I just want to second Stonekettle’s tweet. That nailed it.
David 🌈 ☘The Establishment☘🌈 Koch
@Dangerman: sure, you go up to the window and you order a whopper or a double whopper
Patricia Kayden
Where are One Million Moms to decry Boebert’s debauchery in a public forum where children were in attendance? Will someone think of the children?!!!!
**clutches pearls and falls slowly on the fainting couch
lowtechcyclist
Apparently the Mexican government has invited a contingent from the Russian army to parade in Mexico’s National Independence Day.
If it weren’t for the fact that one of America’s two major parties has been beating the war drums, repeatedly threatening to invade Mexico, I would be pretty upset by this. But they have to consider that they’re potentially eighteen months from being attacked by the most powerful nation on earth, and where the hell are they going to find allies if that happens? Will the EU rush to their defense? I doubt it. I’m sure they would condemn our invasion with strong words, but that would likely be the extent of it. Russia might actually help them.
Baud
As long as both she and her date were wearing clothing conforming to their genders assigned at birth, I don’t see why this is anyone’s business.
Ken
@Alison Rose: At least it’s a marketable skill.
Shalimar
@Ceci n est pas mon nym: If it wasn’t for the implants, and the personality, and the making a spectacle of herself during a play, Lauren Boebert would be attractive.
That said, if she acted like that in front of me in public, I would leave, not try to feel her up. And this apparently was relatively good behavior from the junior drama queen.
Shalimar
@Baud: It was especially laudable of him to get her breast out to confirm she hasn’t had top surgery. Not sure why he didn’t check for a penis though.
Princess
I imagine the Texas Youth Republicans are hoping that’s the case.
CliosFanBoy
@lowtechcyclist:
The Mexican president is as big a kook as trump.
Shalimar
@lowtechcyclist: I think it’s more likely Russia will be there to confuse Republicans into not invading since Russia is a Republican ally.
Geminid
This sorry affair will hurt Boebert’s standing in her district, and it’s apparent that she and her staff know that..
If this was a betting site and there was a prop, “Boobert will/will not win reelection,” I’d put my Jackal Bucks on “will not.”. If Republicans can’t knock her out in the primary, I expect the Democrat to take her out in November.
SFAW
@Tony Jay:
You’re sorta scary in how you were able to get that pitch-perfect.
sab
@Soprano2: I am so old rhat I remember when Christian evangelicals didn’t drink or dance , much less own bars.
different-church-lady
“…willingness to reach around the aisle…” was RIGHT THERE!
artem1s
Meantime #boycottmeetthepress is trending on sXhitter because the newest host decided to let TIFG engage in more election campaign finance fraud and jury swaying. The hashtag push is full of the video’s of BeetlejuiceGrope. And MTG is posting dickpics during House meetings. Remember the good old days when Bob Dole would campaign on how morally corrupt films like Pulp Fiction were ruining our youth? Looks like Gohmert’s “Do Nothing” Congress has turned into the “Do Everything, But” Congress – at least for now.
zhena gogolia
@Tony Jay: You are good.
Suzanne
“Natural anxiety of being in a new environment”, huh? Really?! That’s what she’s going to go with?!
I thought it was mean and elitist to imply that these MAGA trash heaps are uncultured? Not that a musical production of “Beetlejuice” is a Eugene O’Neill play or goddamn La Traviata or anything.
Princess
@artem1s: Trump isn’t going to let himself be interviewed by anyone who wont promise nothing but softballs and fluffing. He doesn’t have even the capacity he once had to think on his feet and push back at even mildly sharp questions. He’s too scared even to debate the GOP losers running against him. So it was clear before hand what the interview would be like. To keep on theme, the only surprise is that he didn’t grab her boobs and ask for a tug.
JAFD
Happy Fall Equinox, everyone !
If I may quote from ‘X’
Harry @DocEgonSpengler
“The Boebert story is striking a nerve bc we haven’t seen a U.S. lawmaker
authorize such an ill-advised invasion of a rack since 2003.”
Anyway
Yeah, that’s some weak sauce there. That behavior is unacceptable outside of a few clubs. Plus how obnoxious to continue vaping after being asked to stop. Rude and obnoxious — on brand for the GQP thugs.
Dorothy A. Winsor
@Quaker in a Basement: And for Fox to put a D after Boebert’s name in its chyrons.
Suzanne
@Anyway: I flatly do not believe that she’s never been to a non-movie theater or concert hall or performance space in her life. Even if it was just a school field trip. I mean, maybe she was poorly raised and not taught how to behave in public. But implying that the “new environment” made her so anxious that she needed to give her boyfriend a handjob?! For fuck’s sake. If you are THAT trashy, maybe you should learn something from being around all of those coastal elitists.
Scout211
Just to remind everyone, on September 13th, Politico published a fawning article and photo shoot of Lauren Boebert. Entitled,
The posed photos are showing her doing all kinds of important things, mostly wearing the same hot pink tank top that shows off her new, uh, figure. The fawning article is a sad example of PR teams that promise access to reporters in exchange for a positive story.
At least the last part of the article brings up her Democratic opponent Adam Frisch and does add some minor criticisms of Boebert, but most of the story is an PR attempt to re-create her image.
How it begins:
one paragraph toward the end:
Politico, are you even a little embarrassed now? Ha! Who am I kidding . . .
Geminid
@Scout211: Boebert can try to reinvent herself but she lacks the material, much less the capacity.
NotMax
Hard to believe nobody went with “open carrying a matched set of 45s.”
//
Mo MacArbie
I’m trying to figure out whether to go with Boebertjuice or Beetleghazi.
JWR
@NotMax:
Or… Two 45s of “My Big Ten Inch”?
No? Too early?
JML
Physically, superficially, Lauren Boebert might be attractive. Everything else about her is deeply ugly. She’s always enjoying attacking other people, can’t say I’m not enjoying seeing her under fire. She has done everything to deserve it.
Doug R
@Alison Rose: Grandma handjobs for EVERYONE! May not be the selling point they think it is.
But who knows what goes through the mind of a young Republican these days.
Doug R
@Tony Jay: Sounds like the plot of Reefer Madness.
Doug R
@Geminid:
She won last time with less than 600 votes-we’ve got an excellent shot in 2024.
BruceFromOhio
What happened to the “die on your feet” version that the gunhumpers favor? Boo-bear, best step back a moment, take a non-vaping breath and get your stories straight.
Have seen this reflexive MAGAt programming writ large multiple times now – behave badly, get caught, deny, then provide explanation V.1, followed quickly by explanation V.2, then explanation V.3 with justification. I look forward to explanation V.4, and regret there is no court of law involved.
brendancalling
I say give Boobert a break. She DOES represent family values—I mean, just think of how many (sometimes unintended) families have their roots in hand-job in the back of a movie theatre.
Omnes Omnibus
@JML: A Dollar Story Lacey Chabert.
Omnes Omnibus
I am pretty sure that won’t do it.
Chief Oshkosh
Liberal Redneck does a good take-down of the Congresswoman:
https://youtu.be/RIcqkzVN6Dw?si=NIIYdKYEScb_iOCl
Daoud bin Daoud
@Alison Rose: In the Brave New Christo-fascist World, learning to perform handies will be the most useful skills a woman can have.
Miss Bianca
The most beautiful thing about the timing of this whole debacle, from my jaundiced point of view, is that one of the biggest Christofascist God-botherers in my county – the one who squats on the School Board, decrying gender-neutral bathrooms and claiming that the Social-Emotional Learning curriculum “promotes Critical Race Theory” – had scheduled Boobert for a grifting session yesterday morning at the coffee shop owned by yet another Christofascist who just got himself elected County Commissioner.
Everyone was asking me whether I was going to cover the spectacle as a reporter for the local paper. (I declined. But I do look forward to the opportunity to ask both of them to explain how Boobert represents the “Christian values” they bray about.)
And the trashy wench doesn’t even represent our county anymore!
Daoud bin Daoud
@Geminid: Getting a boob job seems to be the limits of Bobo’s ability to “reinvent.”
billcinsd
@Geminid: lacking the material is why she got the implants
Mel
@Miss Bianca: Please give us an update afterwards.
Thank you for fighting the good fight at a smalltown paper. It makes a difference.
WaterGirl
@Omnes Omnibus: I always think she looks like an ugly version of Lacey Chabert. I presume that’s why you posted that? You think so, too?
Raoul Paste
Ms “family values“ wasn’t thinking much about her kids during this public display. It will be rough at school next week..
And Quinn Gallagher is left to contemplate that this is the only time his name will appear in the history books
WaterGirl
@Chief Oshkosh:
“My fellow trailer Americans…”
too funny.
Citizen Alan
@Soprano2: I am of the firm belief that most evangelicals worship the devil but are simply too ignorant to realize it.
JML
@Omnes Omnibus: unfair to Lacey Chabert, who seems like a nice person, LOL. Though I can see the similarity, the ugliness of almost everything Boebert says and does makes it hard for me to comp her to anyone.
Boebert just seems like a truly terrible person in almost every possible way. doesn’t matter what the wrapper is.
UncleEbeneezer
Looks like she’s got Trump’s VP spot firmly in hand now! Yes, the GOP is so the party of Family Values now, with a POTUS nominee who fantasized about fucking his own daughter, bragged about walking in on 15 year old models and a woman trying to give a hand job in a school auditorium with kids present. Absolutely disgusting. And while it may lead her to lose her reelection (but also may not) there will be no breathless OpEds about what’s wrong with the Republican Party by the MSM or Progressives and other people on the Left who can’t stop clutching their pearls about Biden’s age and Kamala’s popularity etc.
The notion of the GOP giving ANY concern about morality and protecting kids has always been complete and utter bullshit. They only use the claim to justify White, Cis-Het, Christian Supremacy/Patriarchy. And yet, not a single NYT/WaPo Op-Ed will make this point.
Omnes Omnibus
@WaterGirl: Yeah, she has always seemed to me like a low budget knock-off.
UncleEbeneezer
@Sister Golden Bear: Worst safe-word EVER!!
JWR
@Miss Bianca:
Heh. ;)
StringOnAStick
Come on, Jackel’s! It’s obvious this is the first guy she’s ever had crazy good sex with and all she can think about is getting back to their hotel room for another trip to Pound Town. And she wasn’t taking photos of the stage play, she was taking selfies like any normal narcissist would.
Let’s ask the BJ poster here who just moved back to Grand Junction about how the local media is presenting it.
kalakal
@Suzanne: She thought she was at Rigoletto’s
Miss Bianca
@Chief Oshkosh: “I love you like chicken” – aw right! :)
StringOnAStick
@UncleEbeneezer: Actually this wasn’t at a school auditorium, it was in Denver at the Denver Center for Performing Arts, the nicest public performance space in town. One big enough to have just the kind of high resolution security video we are enjoying today! Gawd.
I was born and raised in the biggest city in Boobert’s district, where calling Denver Sodom and Gomorrah was pretty standard, so Strike One for going to that den of iniquity. Strike Two for rubbing up a bar owner from fancy schmancy Aspen; I know how my old home town thinks. Looks like her plan to moderate her public face in her district while maintaining her DC catfight with MTG has run headlong into the press’s love of a good lurid sexytime story, and being as she’s not the in possession of the penis here, she’s going to get dragged to infinity.
wjca
I don’t know how you can say that. I mean, her daughter is a teen mom. Just how do you think that happened? Mother-daughter training seems likely.
wjca
Trump is NOT the devil. Way, way above his pay grade. A minor demon with delusions of grandeur is more like it.
Peke Daddy
@Doug R: Speaking of which, did she check the “not using drugs” box on her gun purchase form? What was in that vape, anyway?https://www.rawstory.com/boebert-biden-vape/
Tony Jay
@SFAW:
@zhena gogolia:
Bullshit is the only truly international language. 🐂 + 💩 = 🐘
@Doug R:
Ahhhh, so that’s what the “Natural anxiety of being in a new environment” wibble was all about. Congresswoman Handsy Boom-Boom was having a whitey.
brantl
Having seen as much of Lauren Boebert as I have, I have always suspected her best performances have been on her knees.
No One You Know
@SpaceUnit: They’re fresh out of pearls to distribute.
No One You Know
@Atticus Dogsbody: I’m going to find a way to use that.