Just still treading water here- it’s been a rough couple of months, but the good news is the end is near. In three weeks I will find out whether I have been RIF’d or not, and can move on with my life.
I just feel kind of unmoored- in between big changes and just so much going on and so many moving parts. If I do get RIF’d, it does make things simpler. I am done in May at the current job and then need to have something by 1 June. And it might as well be out west rather than here.
But then I have to weigh abandoning my parents, selling the house, moving the critters, doing an addition at her place, and so on.
Also, Steve is not doing well- just something seems off. He’s an older guy-anywhere from 13-15, so hopefully it is not serious.
I’m just so tired and everything seems so heavy and I’m still on the tail end of a near two week sinus infection.
MMM
Hang in there Sparky
Fraud Guy
Neither flesh, nor fowl, nor good red herring.
Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.)
What does RIF mean?
Lyrebird
Hey Blogfather,
I am not one of the wittier commenters, and I also can’t pretend to know what’s best.
I did get confirmation that I will be RIF’d at the end of the academic year, so I can relate on that front, and I am wishing you all the best.
And for free advice, try humming. You can look on PubMed for humming and sinus and see the citations for yourself… and no side effects other than a few funny looks.
Lyrebird
@Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.): Reduction in Force
Government-ese for layoffs.
Reagan was a big proponent.
bbleh
@Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.): Reduction In Force. Same thing as “JE”: Job Elimination. It’s often a way to get around an age discrimination complaint (55+ are a protected class). No no, you’re not being fired; your position is being eliminated because we’re reducing the size of our force. It’s not you; it’s purely business restructuring.
Sometimes it’s for real — they really do downsize. But too often it’s not. (A victim myself.)
Betty
Wow! That is a heavy load. Best wishes for things to work out for you soon.
dnfree
@Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.): RIF is reduction in…force? It’s a term often used in the education field, essentially layoff or loss of employment. Teachers call it being RIFed (short i).
Joy in FL
wow, John. That’s a lot to be dealing with. I hope you arrive at decisions that satisfy you and anyone they involve. And I hope the magnificent Steve is simply experiencing a bit of the normal aging process. He is important and magnificent.
I’m sorry Everything Still Sucks, but I’m glad you checked in.
kindness
Sorry to hear about Steve. Sending energy your way John.
Lapassionara
Well, that sucks. So sorry. Just stay put for a while, if you can. No rush, is there?
frosty
A two-week sinus infection will put a real damper on your daily life; could be a chunk of why everything sucks. Best of luck on the career change (or not). You have some big steps ahead if you’re moving west, hang in there and my best wishes for how it all works out.
dnfree
These are hard changes in your 50s, and with aging parents. Hoping that things become clearer. You’ve done so much work to make your house a home.
Sis
Fingers crossed that the powers that be are at least smart enough to keep you. And I hope Steve feels better very soon (and you too.)
RaflW
Ehhh. Sorry things suck. Job insecurity is a rough one, and academia seems to be in a very lousy place as the GOP tries like hell to screw up school funding in many states, attacks tenure, and is just generally anti-smart people.
Gah.
Sis
@Lyrebird: I’m sorry you’re being RIFed. I hope this means that there’s an even better position waiting for you.
Narya
I am sending you all the love. I’ve had some wine so I’m gonna leave it at that, but know that we Juicers deeply care about the Juice family, and you are why we’re here.
Lyrebird
@Sis: Thank you so much! Here’s hoping. I haven’t thanked them properly yet, but Ruckus and Maxim and some other commenters helped me get up the guts to apply for something a little different. A step in the right direction to try at all, even if what I do in ’24 is not that.
mvr
Sorry to hear all that John. And sorry to hear about Lyrebird’s experience as well. My spouse was RIFed after 20+ years at the university and it was something that still has effects on our lives a decade later.
Universities can be pretty bad employers. More so as time passes.
Yarrow
So sorry, John. I hope you feel better soon.
I feel you on this. So much. Everything. I don’t know when or if it’ll get better.
Alison Rose
The details are all different, but the subject line and tone of this post in a way took the words right out of my mouth. I’m sorry things suck so much for both of us (and others!), John.
Noskilz
Hopefully things go as well as they can for you.
twbrandt
So sorry, John. I hope everything works out.
Suzanne
Hugs to you and to Steve.
Urza
May I suggest a heavy dose of Vitamin D. It might not be the solution, but it could help with the energy. Lots of people don’t get enough normally and don’t realize it.
BruceFromOhio
Good evidence you are, in fact , still human. And still alive.
I figured you to leave WV feet first.
@Urza: This.
Tom Levenson
Sorry you’re feeling the effects of higher ed madness. I hope that the PtB have the sense to keep you in the fold. My best thoughts to Lyrebird too.
Unmoored is the word. I’m in a similar way, for overlapping though not identical reasons. May the new year of 5784 treat us all much better than ‘83.
ETA: best wishes to Steve. Tikka, who is also showing signs of age (he’s between 15 and 16), sends his best.
Chacal Charles Calthrop
sending you & steve best wishes. Keep us posted and take care of yourself and the critters!
Matt Smith
Sorry to hear it. Pulling for you to heal and for your mood to improve while you’re waiting for the news. You deserve to feel so much better than this.
If you (like me) have added shame because you think you’re supposed to keep your chin up no matter what, and nothing is supposed to really throw you emotionally, then welcome back to the reality of being human. Sucks sometimes, doesn’t it?
CaseyL
Yikes! That’s a lot of stuff happening!
Seven months’ notice of being laid off isn’t too bad, though I don’t know what the academic job market is for people in your field. Do you have accrued vacation time and, if so, are they obligated by law to pay it out in cash? (If not, use it all up!) Do you have accrued sick leave, and are there provisions to cash out some or all of it? Are you vested in their pension fund and, if so, what are your choices with that?
Leaving your parents would be the hardest part of pulling up stakes. It hurts just to think about. Are you in any financial position to keep the Bethany house as a summer getaway? That way you’d be able to hang out with your folks for a few months each year. (You will want to be out of Arizona over the summer, unless you’re in the mountains!)
Rather than build an addition to the Arizona house, maybe you could add an ADU and connect them? Or even a modular/manufactured home, and connect that? (I’m just thinking it would be easier and faster than building an addition. And/or an ADU, unconnected to the house…maybe your folks could spend winters there….?)
I’m so sorry to hear Steve isn’t feeling well. It’s hard to think of him as an old man, but once they hit 10 years of age, they’re considered Senior Kitties. Thurston must be getting up there in age, too. The good thing is, BJ has a lot of experience getting animals moved across the country, and of course we’re here to help if we can.
laura
Liminal space is a hard place to be- just a sargasso sea of unknown next’s. Rest when and how you can, physically and mentally. Pet your cat if Steve is amenable and love on him and Max and Thurston. Wishing you a brighter next thing come what may.
Librarian
I’m just sad that you might sell the house, which you invested so much money and time into. Some here came to love following your renovation and continuing story of you living in it. And love your pictures of it.
Priest
Hope Steve is OK, he’s such a fine animal.
Dangerman
Sorry to hear all of it. Especially potentially moving from the Parents and Steve. Getting older blows but it’s part of the package deal.
Can you define “Out West” a bit more? I assume that has a fiancé connection. Finding a job won’t be hard depending on your field; finding a job that covers the house payment may be tricky here and there. Supposedly everyone is fleeing California. Show me how that is reflected in the housing prices. Yeah, I thought so. Things are pretty good here. It would be great if we could manage the homeless issue but that’s a hard one.
Edith
We have a Maine Coon rescue about the same age and build as Steve. He was really slowing down, and I thought maybe our time together was ending. I knew he had arthritis, but I was off work for health reasons and we couldn’t afford the Solensia injections.
I went back to work, we started the injections, and the clock turned back years. He’s a stoic, so I just never realized how much his fading personality was because he was in pain. Maybe Steve has something similar, just a thought.
Of course, with the job situation, maybe now isn’t a good time to add another monthly expense. If your vet thinks it’s a possibility, perhaps BJ could pay.
HumboldtBlue
Here’s hoping you and Steve and then crew feel better.
Here’s a smile-maker.
Also, please, for the love of a cool summer night, please think hard about trading WV for Arizona.
RaflW
@Urza: I’m gonna +1 this. I went off a simple Vit D pill in late spring, and didn’t remember to add it back as summer waned and indoor time increased. I restarted a week ago and my energy has bounced back more than I excpected.
RandomMonster
Intrigued by ‘going west’, and hoping you do it. I’m a west coaster by birth and living miserably east coast for some decent reasons. But I so want to escape.
Odie Hugh Manatee
I hope things right themselves for you and your life. A time of change is difficult to traverse because of all of the uncertainty, which leads to more stress. Multiple changes multiply that effect. Focus on taking care of yourself first as all else flows from that.Yell at us (sound off) when you feel you need to, we’re here for it.
Best wishes to you and positive thoughts to Steve and his health.
Hoppie
@Lord Fartdaddy (Formerly, Mumphrey, Smedley Darlington Mingobat, et al.): Reduction in Force. Bureaucrats love to hide assholery in acronyms ….
John: hang in there and fight the fight. We’re with you.
Kelly
I had a very comfortable job drop out from under me when the company went bankrupt. The next job was pushy but paid so much better I retired early.
Another Scott
Sending you and yours all the good thoughts. Here’s hoping the suck monster leaves you alone soon.
Best wishes,
Scott.
Trollhattan
All the best. Very much relate to a shitshow singularity. There is an exit.
Hugs, with due caution, for Steve.
glc
Hoping for the best, or anyway, as you say, some tolerable resolution.
Seanly
John – sorry to hear about the upheaval in your worklife. I know all too well how it feels. I hope you’re able to land on your feet and don’t have to move.
Redshift
Sorry you’re having a rough time of it, John. That sounds like quite a load on you right now. We’re always here for you, even though you’ve never asked much of us (at least not for yourself, just for other people and critters.)
wenchacha
I hope you feel better soon, Cole. Get enough rest and all the other stuff.
Soprano2
I feel ya. Dealing with hubby, dealing with the bar, dealing with work, and I live in the political wasteland of MO…..*sigh* Sometimes I want to chuck it all and go to a tropical island.
Marcopolo
Hey man, hang in there. Sounds like a lot of upheaval in your life & that means stress. So sending you energy & vibes. Take a breath. If your finances are okay slow down & take a little time off. Some things that work for me: making sure I get some outdoor time every day especially as the days are getting shorter now (if you can do it whilst moving your body/using your muscles that’s even better though lying in the yard w/ bare feet works too); just doing something new (outside of your regular activities); journaling: pick a time during the day to write down your thoughts (doesn’t have to be more than 5-10 mins but do it every day at the same time—I like just before I go to sleep). Last but not least, I am happier when I limit the amount of “crap” information I consume. Oh, and the suggestion about Steve & arthritis (or other older age stuff) was great. If you have a vet you like see what they think.
And always remember all us folks here at BJ mega appreciate your work in setting up our community. Namaste 🙏
Ann Marie
Sending you and Steve good thoughts, John. That’s a lot to go through. I hope things all work out. Let us all know if we can help.
Ghost of Joe Liebling’s Dog
Wishing you well, John Cole, and sending good thoughts to Sir Steve (and @Tom Levenson to Tikka too — and to all the senior cats and dogs who give so much and ask so little). Be kind to yourself.
Doc Sardonic
Don’t have any words of wisdom, but will say take care of yourself and don’t be like me and push those that care away. Also, take Steve to see your vet and if it is arthritis, I can’t sing the praises of Solencia loud enough. It and Sanawave treatments have made a big difference I my 24 chunk of a cat. Takes a week to 10 days for it to kick in, but when it does it is obvious.
Ruckus
Born and raised in Los Angeles county a rather long time ago.
But I did work in OH for almost 11 yrs and have been through WV a number of times and have known others who live there. it looks like a nice place to live. But. There are better places but it is often difficult to leave home. I have lived in southern and northern CA, in South Carolina, and traveled to 46 of the states due that job working in OH. There are a lot of nice places to live in this country, likely many of them are a bit cheaper to live in than the far west, but there is a reason why Los Angeles county has a larger population than 40 states.
2liberal
best wishes to all those facing employment insecurity – I know the feeling all too well. JC I think you’ll like Arizona, things are going in a good direction here.
VeniceRiley
Internet hugs for you and Steve. You’ll come out the other side as grumpy as ever. Waiting to hear about RiF is the worst part, as you can’t get started and take action until some other persons decide what’s going to happen to you. UGH! Piss on that feeling.
It’s emotionally hard watching aging in a pet. Kilo, our teacup Yorkie rescue, is 14 and, though still spry at times, gets a bit shaky on hisegs when standing still. We think he has a bit of arthritis in the hind leg. His eyes are age cloudy, and his hearing is selectively bad. Still cheeky enough he absconded to the neighbor’s garden through the fence and hedge this morning during his dark o’clock potty though.
So, to, as they say, make a long story even longer, I hope it cheers you to imagine me in a cold dark wet garden whispershouting “KILO! BISCUIT!” while running into spider webbing and probably waking my neighbors. Bonus if I woke the wood pigeons. I owe them some revenge.
trollhattan
It appears Elmo has again stabbed the Nitter extension in the eye to the tune of “502 Bad Gateway.” Thanks, Elmo. Now find a bespoke fire and die in it.
Quaker in a Basement
Ever seen the movie Harry and Tonto? I recommend it. It’s about how bad life sucks when you’re getting older and how to find hope anyway.
Brachiator
Coming late to the thread to say hang in there, John Cole and to everyone else going through similar upheavals.
I know the feeling and greatly sympathize.
opiejeanne
Me too, what everyone else has said. I hope things stop sucking soon.
Annnd, the power just went out here, making a couple of really loud strange noises somewhere down the street. My phone is providing the internet for my laptop even though the computer claims that the wifi is on.
opiejeanne
@opiejeanne: And now I hear fire engines, down the road. Someone is having a bad night.
Fair Economist
It’s tough to deal with lots of change at once but I’m sure you’ll find a way. Best wishes.
206inKY
This is not a pep talk, because life can be shit, but don’t forget what happened when you were hit by the unimaginable freight train of your dear friend’s passing. You put out word and the community raised $20,000 overnight along with an outpouring of love. This is not normal. It is because you have built the most meaningful thing of all—a community—and it is full of weirdos and assholes who all have your back. RIF or not, that’s not going to change.
p.a.
Best wishes as you work your way through these issues. Juggling so many is a challenge. And here’s hoping you find your niche in a state that prioritizes education.
Patrick
Hang in there John.
I’m in an “old person” transition and I am just realizing it can’t be managed like previous life changes. It’s different.
Tunch Rules!!
JR
@Ruckus: I went to college in Southern California and it really isn’t for me. As for nicest places, I think Morgantown is pretty high up the list, but job security is a big part of niceness and living in what amounts to an company town is not a good way to get there.
Aimai
So much love for you JC. I read this early this morning since I’m not one if the late crew. I hope its not to late to offer some love and support. Things will look up when the sinus thing clears and you start to see a way forward. I retooled at 56 and am now the happiest Ive ever been at 63–something great is in store for you and your pets.
Gvg
Sorry you are having a bad time. Really sorry.
May I recommend a doctors visit? The two week sinus infection might actually have started earlier if you were me and be really impacting everything. I guess I tend to miss little signs or not whine and when I realize I have been sick awhile or am really dragging it turns out I should have gone in sooner. The last several sinus infections I actually checked out turned out to need prescriptions and the improvements were so dramatic and immediate it was great.
I had also gone in about a long term loss of energy and the doctor was very helpful and not dismissive. That was about a year and a half ago. Getting much better sleep now too.
Sinus issues are my bane though. It’s worth the effort to knock them out. They drain everything. You won’t have energy to deal with the rest of life if the little microbes are sapping your energy and making your head a pain all the time.
satby
@Aimai: And @John up top: What Aimai says. You’re feeling crappy and the weight of inertia makes us all reluctant to change, but this has been quietly brewing for a long time. You’re ready for a change. You have ideas and plans of other things you’d like to do, your parents can be visited (and you have siblings who can take a turn at supporting them more), and in spite of your grumpy persona you gather friends as easily as a child gathers pebbles on a beach.
I got RIFed for the last time at 59 1/2, and in spite of the reduced income I’ve had the best 9 years of my life since. I think your future will be the best of yours. It’s that first leap of faith that’s hardest.
Betty Cracker
There’s so much love, support and wisdom in this thread, and I’m sending more of the first two your way. Change is difficult, but it could be that you’re at the start of an adventure that will change your life in positive ways. Meanwhile, we are here for you if you need us. Take care, my friend. ❤️
brantl
Hoping you feel better Mr. C. What do you do in your “other life”?
Princess
I’ve just made a mid 50s life transition so i understand how hard that is, especially if part of it is out of your control and even more if it involves moving away from aging parents. (Mine involved moving back to them). It’s … a lot.
A two week sinus infection sounds like it needs antibiotics.
MazeDancer
Hang in there, John. You can’t make decisions based on maybes. Your best path will become clear.
And if it is not clear, do not make any expensive decisions.
I have owned and renovated 5 homes all over the country. You will not survive AZ for at least 5 months of the year.
Do not build any expensive additions. Rent out your house. Take a year before you do anything.
You have no idea how much you will hate AZ in the impossible heat. Do not spend money until the path is clear.
Maybe you and your bride will move somewhere you can both enjoy.
trnc
JC, sorry to hear all that. Sending positive vibes your way.
BellyCat
JC… I’m in Pittsburgh if you need anything from up this way. Anytime.
Fear of change is worse than change itself.
Denali5
Yes, hang in there. Things will become clearer when your work status is known. I think the idea of spending the summers in WV is a good one. Perhaps you could AirBB your home during the winter months. Think outside the box. Hoping for improvement for Steve and your sinuses. All the best. Your humans are with you.
Denali5
Yes, hang in there. Things will become clearer when your work status is known. I think the idea of spending the summers in WV is a good one. Perhaps you could AirBB your home during the winter months. Think outside the box. Hoping for improvement for Steve and your sinuses. All the best. Your humans are with you.
Josie
Late to the thread, John, but sending you love and support. Take it from an old, there are good things still waiting out there. You just have to figure out how to find them.
cope
At 69 and 72, respectively, my wife and I made a move from Florida to Colorado this year. We sold our house after 33 years living in it, loaded up the car with the valuables including the dog and headed west. Preparing the house for sale (new roof after a difficult wrestling match with insurance, electric upgrade, lots of minor things), packing, selling the house and simultaneously looking for a house from afar was incredibly stressful. We abandoned my wife’s sister (76) there (though she subsequently moved closer to her daughter in Tampa) and our daughter and her family abandoned us by moving from FL to Vermont. We could not be happier with the result. However much time we have left, it will be spent in a place we want to be with people (my extended family) we love.
You will do what you do depending on your circumstances and it will be up to you to make peace with it. Based on what I know about you from this blog, I am confident that whatever befalls you, you are fully equipped to make decisions and live with them.
P.S. RIF is so impersonal, I much prefer the British term “made redundant”.
zhena gogolia
I hope things work out well somehow. We all love you.
SW
RE Steve. At that stage of life you need to keep close watch on their teeth and bloodwork. You have to try to catch things before they get out of hand.