If you ever question your parenting skills, ask yourself this question: do you have courtroom sketches of yourself and of your children?
If the answer is no, you're doing just fine. Keep up the good work. pic.twitter.com/zQcX1jgncJ
— Resolute Square (@ResoluteSquare) November 11, 2023
The media has decided that ‘Big Daddy’ TFG is going for a Pound the Table legal defense — he can’t win, but he hopes to throw enough verbal spaghetti against the walls that his lawyers, or at least his cultists, can demand a do-over. Philip Bump, at the Washington Post, points out that “Trump’s legal issues are bound with a thread of willful dishonesty”:
You can know nearly everything you need to know about Donald Trump by recognizing two aspects of his life before seeking the Republican presidential nomination in 2016.
The first is that he was the all-powerful head of a private company, granting him sweeping powers that in a political context would be deemed autocratic. The second is that he applied those powers to the world of New York City real estate, an industry riddled with dishonest actors and larded-on costs. Combine those two things and, of course, the result is a president with no apparent regard for the federal separation of powers who will say anything that comes to mind in an effort to close the deal.
The sense in which Trump is the consummate salesman that he presents himself to be is one in which he consistently overinflates what he has to offer. His customers are then left in the unenviable position of admitting they got hustled or nodding along with their peers at the emperor’s luxurious new clothes — on those rare occasions, that is, when the dishonesties are even admitted…
This week’s most mocked family member — TFG’s stunts are too well-worn, and increasingly too addled, to be worthy of further abuse — seems to have been Daddy’s favorite, Ivanka. Per Margaret Hartmann, at NYMag:
Being Ivanka Trump is super hard. Her new neighbors in Florida said mean things about her behind her back just because she served in her father’s wannabe authoritarian administration for four years. She really doesn’t want to testify in the civil fraud suit against the Trump Organization, where she worked for about a decade, but a mean judge said she has to. And when Ivanka’s team complained that she shouldn’t have to testify “in the middle of the school week,” a New York appeals court said she’d just have to shell out for a babysitter…
Even the NYTimes — usually a reliable defender, or at least minimizer, of all Trump misdeeds — let their style section get, frankly, snotty:
The guest star of the week was Ivanka Trump, making a reluctant return to center stage after announcing on Instagram last year that she was stepping out of the political limelight. She was the focus of this week’s final scene, flying up from her home in Florida, emerging from the bowels of a black town car to make her entrance in a navy wool coat and navy pantsuit, a black leather tote clutched in one hand, tiny pearl studs in her ears and with her blond hair falling in soft waves around her face, the picture of gentle, pulled-together professionalism and good will.
That was always her role in the family White House drama: the rational actor, there to talk some restraint into her more bombastic, action-man dad.
That Trump had taken the stand earlier in the week, in a navy suit, bright blue tie hanging extra long, and little flag pin. Not exactly his usual MAGA uniform of red (tie), white (shirt) and blue (suit) but a variation on the theme, perhaps in acknowledgment that the site was not the campaign trail, no matter how much he may use his legal problems to rally his troops. Besides, his pugilistic expression, made famous in his Georgia mug shot and then plastered over campaign merch, was fully present during his testimony, even if no one else was seeing red.
And his suit set the tone for his children, all of whom coordinated in matching navy for their own time on the stand, an implicit show of family unity before any words were uttered. How do we know they’re on the same page?
Just look at Mr. Trump’s sons and co-defendants Donald Jr. and Eric, both of whom testified the week before their father and sister, and both of whom were clothed as the perfect supporting cast, in matching pastel ties and shirts. Specifically, a pink tie and light blue shirt for Donald Jr. on Day 1 of his testimony and a light blue tie and powder pink shirt on Day 2, a light blue tie and white shirt for Eric, colors that would complement, rather than compete with, their father’s primary shades. Both wore matching brown lace-up shoes and carefully landscaped matching facial foliage.
Both, like their father (and sister), avoided the bright red that has become the Trump signature color and, for that matter, any overt displays of wealth through accessorizing — a pointed choice for a family that delights in the trappings of “Dynasty.” And most likely a calculated one for a trial in which the judge has already found that Mr. Trump inflated his net worth, and the question is simply about how much of that flimflam was conscious fraud…
When it comes to Junior and What’s-His-Name, all one can say about their testimony earlier is that, given what’s on the record about their upbringing, they might hope to escape justice by pleading the aftereffects of childhood abuse / PTSD. Maybe they can’t remember anything about their entire adult careers because they were literally dropped on their heads too often!
mrmoshpotato
Hahaha!
Nukular Biskits
Good afternoon, y’all!
RepubAnon
Given the level of memory loss, perhaps the entire Trump Crime Family should be put under guardianship?
Mustang Bobby
It’s a pet peeve of mine, but Philip Bump spells his first name with one L, not two, the same way I do.
Yutsano
I mean…they were essentially high end slum lords. Every single one of them had one job: keep money flowing to Daddy no matter how many people had to get cheated or rules/laws got broken. I have no idea how people even bothered to work with them because of their reputation except that’s just how New York real estate works I guess. Blow up their damn business.
WaterGirl
edit: someone had talked about this in a thread earlier this week, but you really have to see the words in all their (not) glory to really get it.
Oh. my. god.
That’s just embarrassing, even for the NYT.
Bex
How did the courtroom sketch artist make Eric look that good?
SpaceUnit
Turning this trial into a fashion story is totes on-brand for the fucking Times.
karen marie
Ivanka has had a lot of plastic surgery since 2020. When I saw her during the trial, I thought it was a new chin implant but today, looking at side by side photos of her in 2020 and at the trial, it looks like she got new cheek implants.
I can’t imagine what it would be like to be her daughter. “Why don’t I look like you, mommy?” “You will, dear, as soon as we can get your surgery appointment booked.”
Awful people.
Anne Laurie
@Mustang Bobby: Thanks — corrected!
Chacal Charles Calthrop
this post just cracks me up because when I was growing up in rural Pennsylvania, the standard for good parenting was: sons not in jail, daughters not pregnant outside of wedlock.
So when I went away to college, my mother made a big deal of parading around my non-pregnant self at every possible opportunity at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter to make sure that no-one thought I’d been sent off “to college” because I’d been knocked up.
BTW I was going to Harvard.
karen marie
@Bex: An oversized suit and a head that’s too small?
I guess it is an improvement given what the sketch artist had to work with but eww.
WaterGirl
@karen marie: Do you think the pink cheeks are a representation of the cheek implants?
Baud
@WaterGirl:
That article also emerged from the bowels of something.
Nominated!
sab
My parents’ family lawyer was a tax and estate guy. I have one of those too (not very busy), but our go-to lawyer is the low level criminal law guy (for not career criminals but for ordinary people who do stupid stuff with drugs or in cars or at bars.)
I think that indicates suboptimal parenting but other parents do worse.
dmsilev
Fredo.
Suzanne
I am a boring dresser, but I tend to think that red is really only appropriate at the holidays.
I am always trying to find the perfect black pants. I’m crazy.
Mike in NC
I don’t think this country has produced a more evil family than Fat Bastard and his miserable offspring.
Suzanne
@karen marie: Looks to me like buccal fat removal. Which looks so weird to me.
Autocorrect changed that to “Buffalo fat”, which is even funnier.
karen marie
@WaterGirl: No, it’s the jutting cheekbones.
“official portrait, 2020”
“entering the courtroom, 2023”
Her makeup is heavier in the 2023 photo but her face is clearly sculpted more heavily in 2023.
This plastic surgeon agrees:
“In the more recent pics, she looks hollowed out in the cheek area, which could be a procedure popular in Hollywood called buccal fat removal, where we [doctors] take out the fat pack in the cheek area.”
He also thinks she’s had more work done on her nose.
I don’t know anything about plastic surgery, so I assumed it was cheek implants, but “buccal fat removal” makes sense for how she looked at court.
@Suzanne: Ha! You and the plastic surgeon agree!
MattF
I’ve always thought that titling Junior’s book Triggered was too on-target, bearing in mind that every accusation is an admission. I’m sure they’re all traumatized.
gwangung
@Suzanne:
On the other hand, I’m in theatre, so….
prostratedragon
😆😆😆!
Redshift
@Chacal Charles Calthrop:
Hah! That’s hilarious.
bbleh
Thing that always strikes me about … well, ALL of the coverage of Teh Big Trial Show is that it rarely if ever mentions that the judge is the trier of fact. That is, in this case, he’s the one who decides whether the witnesses are credible, what of their testimony to take seriously and what not, etc., and not a jury of Ordinary Folks.* So coverage that goes to what these fools look like to Ordinary Folks is … nearly irrelevant. And once again, let’s recall that this particular judge used to drive a cab in NY, so he’s not exactly a delicate ivory-tower orchid.
I kinda don’t think Dumber and Dumberer playing dumb — even if they are — is gonna get around all the, y’know, documents and stuff, and nor are those pearl earrings, as demure as we all agree they definitely are.
* ETA and this reportedly thanks to his Fox studio lawyer who, um, forgot to ask for a jury trial. 🙄
sab
@Chacal Charles Calthrop: That is hilarious, but it wouldn’t have worked for me. I didn’t get pregnant, but I put on thirty pounds on college food instead of the weird diet stuff my mother convinced us was food. I came home much bigger than I went.
Suzanne
@karen marie: Buccal fat removal is the only way to get full Instagram face!
I don’t know how anyone thinks it’s going to age well. Like, you want to keep volume in your skin as you get older!
cain
@Chacal Charles Calthrop:
Lol – you’d think that would be what they would be bragging about !
Frankensteinbeck
I read a live blog of Don Jr’s testimony. I can sum it up as “I was completely in charge of absolutely everything, but I don’t know when.”
I am disgusted by the article dwelling on what the Trumps were wearing. Why the sun pony should I care?
@Mike in NC:
As has been mentioned before, the unique thing about Trump (which seems reflected in his sons) is that he has no redeeming virtues whatsoever. He’s a bad person in every way. Hates animals, his food tastes are loathsome, he’s a liar, he’s cruel, he’s horrendously bigoted, he doesn’t even give charity, he steals from charities. Even Dick Cheney, otherwise a malevolent supervillain, is capable of empathy for his family. There are no signs Trump loves any of his kids. It’s freakish, and also essential to his popularity with the Republican base.
Suzanne
@sab: I lost weight when I went to college because no one was badgering me about not eating enough. I loved it. At home, I was always being hounded about not eating enough food, not eating fast enough, not eating enough protein, whatever. Insert picayune and baseless criticism here.
rikyrah
I love that tweet😂😂😂😂
bbleh
@Frankensteinbeck: empathy? Lissen bud, I keep my tanks at least half full alla time! You know how them gas prices are! And all them gas stations’re run by immigrants now — what happens if they start runnin’ low and just sell to them other immigrants, huh? Then what?!
TriassicSands
Maybe she’s got deluxe, microprocessor-controlled inflatable/deflatable implants. Then, she can change her look constantly depending on how much cheek she needs. Nothing but the best for the daughter of the Criminal-in-Chief.
What a creepy family. She’s probably afraid that if she ages normally daddy will no longer want to sleep with her and that would reduce her influence with him.
sab
@Suzanne: My weight settled back down after the first year. I hadn’t realized before college that I spent my childhood mostly hungry because Mom was always on a diet. And we were upper middle class.
Mom would feed two adults and three kids on one small steak, some mashed potatoes and a salad. Everyone got a half inch slice and Dad got the rest.
NotMax
“She’s the smartest of the Trump children.” Like being hailed as the tallest Munchkin in Oz.
//
Urza
@karen marie: Your wikipedia link for 2020 is dead. Not sure if you meant to link to something else.
HinTN
I have never understood, nor can I condone, the wearing of brown shoes with a blue suit.
Here’s the master on the matter:
https://youtu.be/oNULHGsy3SE?si=P-WmrRCyKxkvp_vo
karen marie
@Urza: Huh. Sorry about that. I can’t fix it, but you can just google her wiki page. If you care enough. I only posted what I thought were working links because I’m compulsive that way.
The Individual-1 “children” are really so boring. When your plastic surgery is the most interesting thing about you, I quickly lose interest
ADD: I clicked on the link, and I see what you mean. Could be because I have a browser extension that changes “Trump” to “Individual-1,” and it may be that the “Trump” in the link address got changed and I didn’t notice before pasting it in.
Quiltingfool
@Suzanne: In re perfect black pants – have you thought about finding a tailor? I mean, if there are still tailors around, lol. Classic pants really don’t go out of style, and if they are made from good fabric (expensive!) they last many years.
Our bodies differ from the standard sizing clothing manufacturers use, so we (women) spend a lot of time finding a clothing brand that fits our body the best. It is exhausting. I used to sew my pants, so I was able to make tiny adjustments to a pattern so the pants would fit my body a bit better. Also, I am tall, so making my own pants meant I could get the length right. However, I did not have the training to make the pattern changes that would make pants fit great!
One thing I have always wanted to do was to take tailoring and pattern making classes, but where I live that is not realistic!
sdhays
@TriassicSands: Even when if it’s not consciously about Daddy wanting to fuck her, it’s definitely about being treated as an object whose value is mostly its fuckability for her entire life. It’s sad.
They are horrible people (and I don’t feel sorry for them), but it’s sad how much of their horribleness was imposed on them.
Pink Tie
The courtroom sketches are weird and unattractive, but somehow in a different way than the Trump kids. Jack Ohman’s cartoon Ivanka looks more accurate. Also, given how awful her taste in clothing has always seemed in most photos (especially during official events during Daddy’s term), the understated dark suit is surprising.
Tehanu
I agree they’re in the running, but the Mercers and the Kochs have (a) actual money and (b) even more evil plans and (c) more brains to carry out (b) with. …
stinger
@Mustang Bobby:
Mustang… Bobby… umm….
Urza
@karen marie: Yea the browser changing is likely it. I was just curious. I don’t honestly care what she looks like.
waspuppet
Hey I’ll give Ivanka this: For four years she had to work for a rapist and sexual harasser who wanted to fck her every day. That’s pretty rough.
wjca
Koch. Mercer. Need I go on?
Ken
@Pink Tie: Both Ohman’s cartoon and the courtroom sketch of Ivanka remind me of the Tenniel illustration of Alice after the “EAT ME” cake
Also, in minimal fairness to the NYT, the article is from the style section so the focus on fashion is only to be expected — indeed, it slips in more criticism of the Trump crime family than the news or opinion sections usually manage.
Hoppie
Big approval of their very bad, no good week. Major kudos! May there be many, many more. Maybe I should add a many
Very sick of these assholes, am I.
NotMax
@Hoppie
“We’ll spin so much you’re going to be sick of all the spinning.”
//
Hoppie
@NotMax: I had a washing machine like that once.
Matt McIrvin
Trump’s “defense” plan at this point is to lose in such a way that he can somehow leverage it into being elected President, and abuse the powers of the office to make it go away (or as much or it as he can, and hold the rest in abeyance, possibly by becoming President for life).
Any judge who convicts him of anything is in great danger. They have to know that.