You guys do understand how weird this is, right? That the uneventful life of some largely unaccomplished middle aged fat guy are not only chronicled, but that people read that shit? Some live for it! You do understand just how fucking weird that is, right? I mean, I am gonna deliver the goods, but I wanted to make sure we were all clear on this.
At any rate, last minute preparations are done, got to the bakery and replaced the fucking carrot cake that I ate a big slice out of then gave away to Gerald and Breyana, picked up some string cheese and roasted nuts and some bottled water, and I think I am pretty much ready.
Head to the airport at 10 to pick up Joelle, then tomorrow off to her mom’s for Christmas.
I hope you all have a great Christmas Eve!
Alison Rose
YOU ARE OUR MODERN HOMER, JOHN. We are all here to witness this New Odyssey (from a safe distance)
Also there better be a fuckton of pics.
BruceFromOhio
Vaya con Gaia, amigo.
Chris T.
Lesson: always buy two carrot cakes.
satby
Happy Christmas and New Year to you, Joelle and your families, friends, and assorted critters. Safe travels! 🏜
TTYL
comrade scotts agenda of rage
We understand it’s weird but most people need a largely unaccomplished, middle-aged fat guy in their lives, that describes the vast majority of the people in my (main) hobby (historical miniature wargaming). You’re simply ours from afar.
Happy Saturnalia big guy.
piratedan
safe travels and chill yourself, the vibe between you and Joelle will translate to the animal wrecking crew. If you’re happy and dealing, they’ll pick up on that. The world is round, you’ll get there and pets will be pets and have their needs and you’ll get to stretch your legs when its time for walkies. Hope you enjoy seeing the country!
suffragette city
John who?
jk Happy Xmas all!!
mvr
Happy Christmas Eve yourself and safe travels.
brantl
Via con huevos, JC.
FelonyGovt
All the best for a wonderful trip which is either completely uneventful, or eventful in minor, entertaining (but not dangerous or TOO annoying) ways.
Geminid
Merry Christmas. I hope you and yours have a safe and happy trip.
kindness
You were more colorful when you used to drink but I am so happy for you that you were good with stopping.
Enjoy that road trip. It’s a long one.
CaseyL
Not weird at all. It’s an extension, or mutation, of pen-pal (remember those?) relationships. We’re all pen pals here.
I, for one, am very happily anticipating hearing all about the trip. Vayas con carne, as they say; and may the road be ever smooth.
Merry Christmas!
Brachiator
Happy holidays and safe travels, John Cole!
MobiusKlein
Didn’t David Byrne do a movie like this once?
Good enough for him, good enough for us.
Merry Everything!
MobiusKlein
Also see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasocial_interaction –
Parasocial Relationships. It’s a thing. I’m friends with 7 youtube creators – parasocially.
MagdaInBlack
May your trip be safe and (relatively) uneventful. ❤️
Jackie
@Chris T.: My immediate thought yesterday when John mentioned he was eyeballing the cake! 😂
Devore
Merry Christmas and have a safe and fun trip
Call_me_ishmael
It’s a veritable Samuel Pepys diary for the 21st century.
NotMax
Doesn’t take up hardly any space, couldn’t hurt to pack a spare cable for charging phone/laptop.
Also too (but you already know this, I’m sure) if no one is house/plant sitting, turn off water to the house and leave a sink tap and a shower tap partially open. Should power go out in dead of winter you don’t want to risk burst pipes.
Happy motoring.
P.S.: Phone the customer service number on the back of credit cards to inform them that charges may show up from locations other than your usual haunts.
Scout211
What!? Weird? No way. We just all hope we are included in your memoirs, Cole.
Both our bank (debit card) and USAA (credit card) told us that’s not a thing anymore, but YMMV.
Ohio Mom
@Scout211: Our credit card once stopped working on a trip to Chicago but that was years and years ago. There were a few moments of panicked confusion but it got sorted out.
eclare
Glad you had a piece of carrot cake last night, life is short. Hope you got lots of cream cheese frosting.
NotMax
@Scout211
YMMV indeed. When I did this unto last August prior to the ’23 NY trek the persons on the other end were enthusiastically effusive in thanking me for letting them know.
zhena gogolia
@Alison Rose: Yes, absolutely!
eclare
@Alison Rose:
For those of us who took Latin, John is our Aeneas.
wmd
That cake never had a chance. Good for you on stopping at one slice.
geg6
Safe travels and happy Christmas, Cole. I’m sending extra special positive vibes to Joelle and the menagerie. They’re going to need them on that drive with you. It’s a long one. And be sure to keep us entertained.
MazeDancer
Hope the cake was delicious.
When the cats start screaming, you will be happy you denied yourself nothing.
Maybe they won’t scream. My cat Maisy just sat on her soft blankie inside her giant carrier and watched, silently, all the way across country. May this happen for you.
TooManyJens
Nominating “You guys do understand how weird this is, right?” for rotating tagline.
Safe travels, John and Joelle and zoo.
Ruckus
@Scout211:
Job before last I traveled around the country 8-9 months a year, most every weekend. I just used my cards and never once had any issue being 1000-2000 miles from my domicile. Never notified anyone, other than work, where I was or where I was going. That was 30- 20 yrs ago and not once was there an issue.
trollhattan
[Note to self: follow Cole around, receive free cake]
A Merry to you and to everybody. It’s just now dark and so finally feels like Christmas Eve. Holy crap, must wrap gifts!
Kristine
Merry Christmas to you and Joelle and the rest of the fam!
Citizen_X
I’ll say this once: the carrot cake is too close to the house.
Currants
@Alison Rose: Amen.
Ann Marie
John, have a safe trip and a wonderful time! I hope the furry members of your crew behave.
oldster
Have a safe drive, John. Send us updates as you can.
Madeleine
“unaccomplished”—no. Wrong. You, John, are an extremely talented writer. Whether about something in yor life, like this trip, or some political thought, or some apparently insignificant observation about what you like or don’t like, or noticed, or cooked, causes people to pipe up in comments. They find what you say relevant to their lives and they write back. Your writing—vivid writing—creates more writing, community.
wombat probability cloud
@Madeleine: Yep, thanks for saying this so clearly. It’s true.
WaterGirl
@TooManyJens: Nice to see you here!
Ohio Mom
@TooManyJens: Why is your nym so familiar to me? Did you used to comment here frequently or were you a front pager on another blog? I feel like I do when I run into someone and can’t place them.
Odie Hugh Manatee
Adopt the can-do attitude of Clark Griswold and make it happen! Just keep track of where Thurston is…
Merry Christmas and safe voyage, Joelle and John!
Ascap_scab
We wouldn’t be reading about it if you didn’t post it. It takes a certain amount of exhibitionism on your part. IOW, don’t blame us for being voyeurs when you leave the curtains open.
Salty Sam .
That. That right there just made my Christmas. Thanks Cole, have a great trip.
Christopher L Fisher
This post reminded me of this post from 2016.
https://balloon-juice.com/2016/12/25/let-me-tell-you-kids-about-the-legend-of-shitmas-2016/
different-church-lady
Absolutely, John. I’m a basket case before every road trip, and yours is no ordinary one. Merry Christmas, and may none br your dismay once you hit the road!
TooManyJens
@Ohio Mom: I used to comment here quite a bit. I’m mostly a lurker now.
TooManyJens
@WaterGirl: Thanks! I don’t make it around as often as I’d like but it’s good to see all the old faces, so to speak.
Betsy
@Alison Rose: This could be taken another way! “Mmm …
doughnutsCarrot cake ..”mrmoshpotato
Yes, sir.
MinuteMan
Sounds like the Truman Show except you’re a knowing participant.
Baud
It’s because we expect hilarious disasters.
Prescott Cactus
In the name of Alonso Quijano. . .
“It is one thing to write as a poet and another to write as a historian: the poet can recount or sing about things not as they were, but as they should have been, and the historian must write about them not as they should have been, but as they were, without adding or subtracting anything from the truth.”
Greg Ferguson
🎄👍🎄👍❤❤❤💋🤠
OzarkHillbilly
John? You are so full of shit. Yeah sure, you didn’t set the world on fire, you never got to pin your 4th star on the uniform, your political career fell flat on it’s face before it even got started because, well let’s be honest: Being a politician is the last thing in the F’n world you would ever want to be.
But this little blog is something beautiful. The animals you’ve helped save from fates worse than death are innumerable. The people you’ve helped thru difficult times are too many to count. The support so many have received thru this place as they deal with the loss of friends, lovers, children, their own lives…
karensky
@Alison Rose: Delightful. Thanks!
WaterGirl
@TooManyJens: Maybe we’ll see you here more often in the new year! (she said, hopefully)
Nancy
Happy trails.
So glad I found Balloon-Juice and your writing way back.
Do what you want to do, be who you want to be. I hope you enjoy this new adventure.
grubert
I know I shouldn’t care, and sometimes I don’t, but at times I’ve caught myself reading your autobiographical posts and wondered why..
I think it’s because you’re a pretty darn good writer.