This could be the blurriest, crappiest photo ever published on Balloon Juice, and by god, that’s saying something. Or it could be a neo-Impressionist masterpiece that captures the essence of frolicsome animals:
Some mornings, just at sunup, I walk my mutts to a dog park where I can unleash them and let them run at top speed in a straight line much further than they can in our partitioned yard. One of my dogs isn’t fully predictable around strange dogs, so I only let them roam when other dogs aren’t present.
Our town’s dog park is laid out in such a way that I can see any approaching dogs in plenty of time to collect my mutts and depart before they arrive. The dog park was built with gubmint stimulus money.
This morning, I stepped in dog shit because some careless mofo neglected to clean up after his or her animal. Thanks, Obama!
raven
Just looks like one of Cole’s.
jl
@raven: If Cracker thinks that is the worst pic ever published at BJ blog, she must be completely unaware of this Cole you speak of.
I think Cracker should be proud of her homage to the the early Duchamp.
BTW. Speaking of the Cole school of photography reminds me of helping a student during udergrad days with art history class. I was flummoxed for a few minutes when I saw the name ‘Jerry Cole’ in her notes. She said it was funny that painter was mentioned in class, since she couldn’t find anything about him in the textbook.
Omnes Omnibus
@raven: The lighting is too good for a Cole.
Iowa Old Lady
This afternoon, I went to a lecture at our local university on Springsteen’s use of history in his music. The lecturer is a history prof who’s a friend and he invited me. I sat among a bunch of students who had no memory of most of what the guy was talking about. I wonder how many of them even remember 9/11 for The Rising.
Betty Cracker
@Iowa Old Lady: The youngest students would have been kindergartners when 9/11 happened, so their memories of it are probably fuzzy. My teenager was only two when it happened, so of course, she doesn’t remember a thing about it.
kindness
Are you suggesting it was Obama that left the deuce you stepped in Betty? Isn’t that more Toronto Mayor Rob Ford territory?
ranchandsyrup
Every time I step in dog or horse crap and someone says, “It’s good luck!” I want to wipe my shoe on them and say, “My good luck is rubbing off on you.” Maybe someday I’ll do it for realsies.
raven
@Iowa Old Lady: Frankie came home in ’68, and me, I took this job
Iowa Old Lady
@raven: When it’s your brother, sometimes you look the other way.
catclub
@raven: better lighting
sparrow
@Betty Cracker: 9/11 happened my freshman year of college. I was sleeping through my alarm for about the 5th time when weird stuff about burning buildings and planes started entering my dreams.
Anyway, thanks for making me feel “old” — that only started happening lately and it’s kind of … odd.
raven
Sister Evangelina had “dog dirt” on her plimsouls this week on Call the Midwife!
Betty Cracker
@kindness: Only in a roundabout way — if Obama hadn’t pushed for the stimulus money that built my town’s dog park, a thoughtless asshole dog owner wouldn’t have had a venue in which his or her dog dropped the turds I stepped in. It’s kinda like that butterfly effect thingy…
Just Some Fuckhead
Why not just lie and say you live inside an impressionist painting? Oh, nevermind, you did say that.
I’d like to change my comment to something smarter now but I’m going to need a different author for that.
JPL
Today nineteen year old Geddy Kramer decided to shoot up fedex. I read his name and age in AJC and instantly knew he was a white guy. Why do you guess that was?
raven
@JPL: It’s not even news in Atlanta.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@sparrow:
You better hang on tight. JFK was assassinated in my Junior year of High School. The Tet offensive (1968) happened during my last year at Berkeley. Hell, I can remember when they built the San Gabriel mountains.
JPL
@raven: btw.. you should have put spoiler alert on your call the midwife comment. lol. That was a great scene.
Why is it that news stations have to say they are black but never white? That really upsets me.
raven
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: puppy
eta, of course you are a year older but my narrow ass was north of Munsani for TET!
Amir Khalid
@Iowa Old Lady:
As I remember, in 1984 there were adult Americans who seemed to have no idea what Born in the USA was really about. One of them was the President, no less.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@raven:
Oh, I’ll get there – or not.
CONGRATULATIONS!
@JPL: Parents were obvious Rush (the band not the asshole) fans.
Best not to jump to ethnic conclusions based on that name anymore, though. Every Rush concert I’ve been to since 2002 here in San Diego has had at least 40% Hispanic fans. Threw me for a loop the first time, thought I’d fucked up and gone to the amphitheater on the wrong day.
raven
@CONGRATULATIONS!: From Ackworth, no way.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@Amir Khalid:
By 1984 Reagan’s handlers had to tie his shoes for him.
Amir Khalid
@raven:
@Iowa Old Lady:
Did either of you see the movie of the song? It was written and directed by Sean Penn; the tall guy from St Elsewhere played Sergeant Joe Roberts, and Viggo Mortensen played his brother Frankie. Sean Penn, by the way, was once engaged to Springsteen’s sister.
WaterGirl
Love the impressionist photo and the first sentence of the post!
iPhone folks – I am hoping one of you has upgraded your iPhone and that you have an old iPhone 3 or 4 that you’d like to sell. Anyone?
Just got my brother-in-law set up with a hand-me-down iPhone from his daughter, and he loves it, but it doesn’t hold a charge for even half a day, so I’m looking to get him back in business with a functioning phone without him having to get into a contract.
Anybody?
khead
I was on mobile when I first saw the pic. I thought a chicken was being chased.
lamh36
I know the feminist are waiting for Hilary, but until then, could the Obama administration get a shot out on it’s role with women’s issues???
Hollywood’s Leading Men Star in Powerful PSA About Sexual Assault
Bob In Portland
Snowden got Plato Cacheris to represent him. Cacheris represented Monica Lewinsky. Inside player.
raven
@Amir Khalid: no but thanks!
Bad Boys was partly filmed in the joint where I was headed when I was given the choice between Army and the jail. St Charles, we called it “Charlie Town”. You know, “Got in a little hometown jam. . . “
Just Some Fuckhead
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Seems like the ditties are the first thing that goes.
“Bunny ears, bunny ears, playing by a tree.
Criss-crossed the tree, trying to catch me.
Bunny ears, Bunny ears, jumped into the hole,
Popped out the other side beautiful and bold.”
Higgs Boson's Mate
@WaterGirl:
Chances are that you will wind up in the same place. The Li-ion batteries used in most mobile devices are good for around a thousand recharges and then they just don’t last as long on a charge as they did. Apple charges around eighty bucks for a battery replacement.
srv
@lamh36: Huh, a bunch of men talking about sexual assault.
Next up, white men make a movie:
dmsilev
NewsMax top three headlines:
You’ve got to admire their persistence if nothing else. Soon, I expect to learn that a one armed man was involved in setting up the attack, but not to worry, Doctor Richard Kimble is close to tracking him down and proving his own innocence.
ruemara
Sitting at my old desk for the last time. Bittersweet. But mentally, I’ve moved on to the new job and can’t wait to focus fully on their stupid, unbelievable mess. I have the jollies at building a marketing dept from not just scratch but from fail. However, my clever self did manage to swing my gold plated healthcare throughout June. That being said, there’s entirely too much excel in this job. I can take filemaker, but excel is torture. Hurry up, 5 o’clock!
raven
@WaterGirl: See if there isn’t an independent outfit that will put a new battery in it.
Omnes Omnibus
Good news for WI voters. A federal judge found WI’s voter ID to be unconstitutional. It should be noted that state courts have found the same thing in state court on purely state constitutional grounds. All of the cases have been or will be appealed.
raven
@ruemara: You’re so short you could parachute off a dime. You’re so short you’d have to stand on a step ladder to kiss and ant’s ass.
Amir Khalid
@Amir Khalid:
Dear me, I forgot to mention the movie’s title: The Indian Runner.
Iowa Old Lady
@Amir Khalid: Reagan’s ignorance was mentioned today. I never saw “Born in the USA.” But Sean Penn and Springsteen’s sister? I can’t wrap my head around that.
ruemara
@srv: it’s aim is to make men police men. Instead of women being told not to get raped, it shifts to men making rape the issue they deal with. Not much wrong with that. As far as JJ Abrams, there is something wrong there, but not uncommon.
raven
@Amir Khalid: Indian Runner, what a cast.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@raven:
She’s so short that she’d have to look up to look down. Glad she’s changing jobs.
ETA: The words “short” and/or “short timer” are military jargon for someone who’s getting out of going home.
ruemara
@raven: the first time someone could call me shorty and live. Shorty, Damn you auto correct!
raven
@Iowa Old Lady: He’s talking about Highway Patrolman. Born in the USA was kinda sorta Born on the 4th of July about Ron Kovic.
raven
@ruemara: I wish I had had time to send you my short-timer stick. You carry that baby with you and if anyone tells you to do anything, “I’m too short for that shit”!
Iowa Old Lady
@raven: Didn’t see that one either. I am culturally illiterate.
Roger Moore
@sparrow:
It’s weird for anyone. I felt if not old, at least like something of an old-timer when they did 20 year retrospectives about the Rodney King riots and the Northridge quake, both of which happened while I was in college in the LA area.
If you really want to feel old, try talking to somebody younger than you about computers. My first computer used a standard-def TV set instead of a monitor, a cassette tape for mass storage, and had a whopping 4K of RAM. I also remember back when libraries had card catalogs and typing classes used typewriters.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@Higgs Boson’s Mate:
Getting out or going home. Fucking arthritis.
raven
@Iowa Old Lady: Cruise does a great job. It’s a wrenching film but well worth the time. Watch “Coming Home” first.
Amir Khalid
@Iowa Old Lady:
It’s noted in both their IMDB profiles. They met on the set of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Sean Penn was one of a number of actors whose careers took off after that movie; Pam Springsteen was not, alas, and she is now a photographer.
raven
Here’s a short-timers calendar. Mine was this Dylan Poster
Roger Moore
@Betty Cracker:
Because inconsiderate dog owners would never leave their dog crap on the sidewalk. It’s all Obama’s fault. Also, too, he never gave me my unicorn.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@Iowa Old Lady:
And if you want to know How It Really Was, read Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried. I also highly recommend Michael Herr’s Dispatches.Those are the only books I ever read about Vietnam that got it right.
Omnes Omnibus
@Roger Moore: The dogs would have crapped on someone’s lawn. At least I believe that is the theory.
Omnes Omnibus
@Higgs Boson’s Mate: I’ve heard from some people who were there that Matterhorn is pretty accurate.
lamh36
I’m thinking the owners and the league knew the players were planning this and so the “severity” of Sterling’s “punishment” was gonna have to be enough for the players to be satisied.
WaterGirl
@raven: Yeah, I googled all that earlier this week. But it seems silly to put 50 or 80 bucks into an iPhone 3 that has scrapes on the screen, not even 3g, so I was hoping maybe someone has an old phone sitting in the corner that might do the trick for the same amount of money.
Or maybe somebody wanted the latest and greatest and bought a new phone even though their old one was still fine. I figure it’s worth a shot to ask..
@raven: That short-timer stick would be really fun!
WereBear
@lamh36: I give President Obama lotsa props for being a feminist. Our first feminist President!
I’m kinda gob-smacked… a person with a big Twitter following is now following my feed. That’s the kind of thing where they randomly like something and the site crashes.
Popularity has its prices :)
lamh36
Wow…what’s that they say about a broke clock??? Or maybe GOP finally figuring out they may not want to piss off African American voters????? NAW!!!
Ted Cruz: I Agree With Obama, Sterling Remarks Were ‘Ignorant And Offensive’
WereBear
@ruemara: You know Filemaker?
Sheesh. I wrestled with it for a few hours and blew several fuses in my brain. I kept getting told that there is a pattern to its thinking… I had to take their word for it.
WereBear
@Roger Moore: And television! Tell them you grew up with three networks and a wavy UHF channel, and the yoots look at you like you came from Mars.
Debbie(aussie)
@lamh36:
That video is great. Like the campaign name too. We should play it in Australia . Remove the president & vice-president, but NOT add Tony Abbott.
rikyrah
Voter ID ruling could lead to special session for lawmakers
Posted: Apr 29, 2014 3:22 PM EDT
MADISON (WKOW) — A federal court ruling striking down Wisconsin’s voter ID law could lead to lawmakers returning for a special session.
Governor Scott Walker said last month he would call lawmakers into special session if the courts ruled against the law.
Walker signed the law in 2011 and was only in effect for a 2012 primary before being struck down by a Dane County judge.
Republican legislative leaders say they would support a special session to pass a law that could go into effect for the November elections.
http://www.wkow.com/story/25381229/2014/04/29/voter-id-ruling-could-lead-to-special-session-for-lawmakers
Amir Khalid
@lamh36:
It must sting Ted Cruz to have to agree with Obama on anything. But even Cruz isn’t stupid enough to stand up for Sterling when even Sterling’s fellow rich folks despise him.
ruviana
@WereBear: When I watch this I feel old and I also laugh.
Roger Moore
@WereBear:
I didn’t get cable until the 2000s, and that was as much to get cable internet as for the TV.
Higgs Boson's Mate
@Omnes Omnibus:
Oh hell yes. Forgot to mention that estimable book.
WaterGirl
@WereBear: I love FileMaker Pro – is that the FileMaker you are talking about?
ruemara
@WaterGirl: Yup. I find it soothing to organize data. Unfortunately, there’s so much of it to deal with here and it’s not really what I need to finish doing right now.
Sister Rail Gun of Warm Humanitarianism
@Roger Moore:
Hey, me too!
I do enjoy watching the youngsters’ eyes cross at that description.
shelly
And why is there something particularly adhesive about dog poop? In the cases where the bottom of my shoes are encased, I’ve had to employ several different gouging and scraping tools, and then the wire brushes.
Trollhattan
I cannot believe these Italian asshats are still going after Amanda Knox. Now, she’s accused of literally being the murderer.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-27215680
WereBear
@WaterGirl: Yes, I learned on Superbase and have used Access for the last 10 years; despite being a Mac fangirl, can’t figure it out.
muddy
@shelly: The particular slip of the foot when you hit the poop is quite unique as well. No mistaking that.
WaterGirl
@ruemara: I love organizing and playing with data, too, and I love FileMaker. Never use Excel if I can help it.
On to the next chapter… Nice to see you exited!
WaterGirl
@WereBear: That’s how I feel about Access and Excel (dreadful, everything seems too hard) Different brain types, I guess?
WereBear
@WaterGirl: My challenge, moving from a PC to the Mac, was to see if I could do my work without a database, and Numbers/Libre Office can do a decent job.
Though Excel has its advantages. The thing is you have to think like the program, and I’m usually very good at that. FIleMaker, I never could get a toehold, and just could not get started. Simple things, like “give me all the records where this field is blank,” I could not make happen.
lamh36
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Santorum Says Obama Aides Tole Him Campaign Was Afraid of Him
Steeplejack
@Betty Cracker:
Is there a way for you to post your pictures so that when you click on them they are embiggened? Would like to better appreciate your neo-Impressionist masterpieces, wine foil art, domestic fowl studies, Crackro-Americana and what-not.
Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader
Don’t believe Steep, Betty. He’s scouring the photos looking for clues to your identity so he can report back here when you die.
Steeplejack
@Just Some Fuckhead, Thought Leader:
Stuck is still inside your head and you can’t let go. I find that hilarious.
Omnes Omnibus
@lamh36: And then they collapsed on the floor in helpless fits of laughter.
Betty Cracker
@Steeplejack: Hmmm, never noticed such a setting. But with my pictures, you’re not missing much!
Gretchen
We just discovered the dog park and it’s been a lifesaver. Our very energetic young dog (part border collie, maybe?) has way more energy than these two old people can walk off him, so he uses it up by tearing things up. After he’s spent an hour running at top speed at the dog park, he’s sedate and calm and very pleasant company.
Steeplejack
@Betty Cracker:
Check out some of Cole’s posts, for example. If you click on a picture of Steve you usually get a bigger version of it.
Epicurus
Not a pet lover, so YMMV, but I often find that there are two dumb animals attached to a leash; one has four legs, the other two. In my deepest moments of fantasy and rage, I imagine the death penalty for those who do not clean up after their dogs.