Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

Democracy cannot function without a free press.

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

Shut up, hissy kitty!

“woke” is the new caravan.

How stupid are these people?

Let the trolls come, and then ignore them. that’s the worst thing you can do to a troll.

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

This really is a full service blog.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

Everything is totally normal and fine!!!

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Decision time: keep arguing about the last election, or try to win the next one?

Oh FFS you might as well trust a 6-year-old with a flamethrower.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Wake up. Grow up. Get in the fight.

We will not go back.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

You are here: Home / Politics / America / Oh Mah Gawd! Is That Floriduh! Man’s Music?!?!

Oh Mah Gawd! Is That Floriduh! Man’s Music?!?!

by | 120 Comments

This post is in: , , , , , , , , , ,

Floriduh says hold mah beer!

As a native Floriduhian, I guarantee someone in Miami actually owns one of these. I can also guarantee that either he or someone he knows will use it to try to self medicate against Covid.

And a whole bunch of people who live in the parts of the state we call BettyCracker land are right now trying to figure out how to illegally import them so they can self medicate with them against Covid.

This will all be followed by them being dumped, en masse, into the scrub in different parts of Floriduh creating a new non-native and invasive menace to go along with the monkeys that have herpes, the anacondas, the retirees from the rust belt living in the Villages who also all have STDs, and people from Long Island living in Broward and Palm Beach Counties!

Obligatory!

https://giphy.com/gifs/looney-tunes-florida-bugs-bunny-zNyBPu5hEFpu

Open thread!

Reader Interactions

120Comments

  2. 2.

    Chetan Murthy

    Adam, the “obligatory” comes out as an avocado-green rectangle.  At least, on Chrome on Linux.

  5. 5.

    Cacti

    I’m surprised there hasn’t been an FP post on GG and Chelsea Manning having a big, public falling out.

    A few years ago, it would have been “Why are Mommy and Daddy fighting?”.  lol

  9. 9.

    glc

    This may be a good time to note, before the news cycle kicks in, that the post is probably intended as an exaggeration.

    Not entirely sure of that.

  19. 19.

    Doc Sardonic

    Said for years, real life Godzilla ain’t coming out the water off the coast of Japan, it’s gonna come out of the ‘Glades.

  22. 22.

    Benw

    I hope that COVID can’t jump to snakes. I’ll feel bad for the vipers who get it when they’re forced to bite the covidiots!

  23. 23.

    What Have The Romans Ever Done for Us?

    Has this actually been tested in humans yet? Because the treatments they thought might work, from Pepcid to SSRIs to Remdesivir etc. so far none of them are actually being used to treat people.

  27. 27.

    WaterGirl

    @Benw: Somehow that reminds me of the story about the baby snake that is going through the woods with its mama.

    Baby snake: “Mama, are we poisonous?”

    Mama snake: “Why are you asking that?”

    Baby snake: “Because i just bit my tongue.”

  31. 31.

    karen marie

    @burnspbesq: *Yawn*

     

    So weird – no matter how many times I edit the above to have an asterisk after the N, it doesn’t appear.  And now the N has disappeared!

    OMG THE COMMENTS ARE HAUNTED!

    Is it fixed now?

    Phew!  It is!

  33. 33.

    Goku (aka Amerikan Baka)

    There’s no easy way of saying this (and sorry to be a downer guys), but my wonderful 20 year old pet cat Bilbo passed away Sunday after a debilitating, sudden stroke.

    I had come home from work at 3 pm and gave him a can of food when he meowed for it. I had forgotten to leave him food before I left. I went off to do something else while he ate. A few minutes later I heard him cry out. Next thing I knew he was stumbling around as if drunk and bumping his head into walls in an agitated state. I didn’t know what I was dealing with. At first, I just thought he was sniffing around the house. He kept circling aimlessly. He eventually climbed on the foot of the fireplace and knocked over a large vase. He didn’t even react to it falling over, which really made realize something was wrong. I had already called an local veterinary hospital as my vet was closed. I rushed him over as fast as I could. The doctor didn’t see a good prognosis for the little guy given his diabetes and age. He wasn’t responding well to the oxygen therapy. On top of all that, the stroke completely blinded him. It was recommended he be put to sleep. I was able to see before he was euthanized and he was still in an extremely agitated state, squirming and struggling to breathe. I suppose I’m glad he’s no longer in any distress. I just hate he had to have thar happen to him at the end of his life.

    I was devastated and so were my parents, who weren’t even there to say goodbye. Bilbo had been like a member of the family since I was 10 years old. He had been adopted at the age of 4 and he had been the one to pick us, having rubbed up against me when I sat on the floor of the small adoption agency in the pet store. He was a kind, affectionate, and intelligent cat and I will always miss him

    For a time, until the doctor told me what had happened, I blamed myself for not leaving him food before I left. As it turns out, his blood sugar was within normal range, if on the low side, when he was at the hospital. Both my vet and the hospital doctor felt it was neurological. All the signs pointed to a stroke or a brain tumor.

    There’s a part of me that wishes I would have acted sooner, that if I had there could’ve been a better outcome. But in all honesty, I know he was a 20 year old cat, he’d lived a good long life, and there was probably little I could’ve done

  37. 37.

    Steeplejack

    @Cacti:

    It’s not “Mommy and Daddy fighting,” it’s Glem being a total, colossal dick—being Glem, in fact.

    For interested readers, here is today’s outburst (left graphic), with one from a few weeks ago (right graphic).

    Name a more iconic duo than Glenn Greenwald and throwing somebody’s personal struggles with mental health back in their face as soon as they criticize you.
    pic.twitter.com/6gN21yylSt

    — Toyota Echo? (@Durand_Durand_) September 2, 2021

  39. 39.

    Splitting Image

    @Baud:

    First I heard of it. Is one of them in the right, or are they both wrong?

    Manning finally decoded Greenwald’s book “To Serve Manning”.

  52. 52.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Cacti: @Baud: @burnspbesq: Here’s her tweet thread:

    And here’s what appears to be what caused the tweet thread:

  54. 54.

    prostratedragon

    @SiubhanDuinne:  Also Wyoming, MI. Somewhere I read that the name is from a romance novel that was popular in the early or mid 1800s. The ones back east are probably all older than the State.

    PA also has an Indiana (James Stewart’s home town) and a California. The latter is in Washington County, whose county seat is of course Washington. A person could really get lost in PA.

  56. 56.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): My sincerest condolences. I’ve been there, though with dogs.

    Now don’t go beating yourself up! You and your family gave him a great life. And at the end of it you did the second to last great thing you could do for him, you let him go so he wouldn’t suffer any more.

    In a few weeks or a month or a few months, you’ll do the last and final great thing you could do for him: you’ll go and adopt a new kitten or cat that needs a good home and give that kitten or cat a great life just like you did for Bilbo.

  57. 57.

    trollhattan

    It’s hard {“hurrrd”} being Lindsey Graham, truly it is.

    September 2, 2021 at 4:00 pm EDT By Taegan Goddard

    Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was censured by the York County Republican Party after he voted earlier this month to pass a $1.2 trillion bipartisan infrastructure bill, the Columbia State reports.

    The local party said Graham did not “represent conservative values and protect the Republican platform” when he voted in favor of the bill, which focuses on bridge and road repairs, electric vehicle charging station expansion and broadband expansion.

    Poor li’l guy, he tries and tries and can’t get no love on the homefront.

  61. 61.

    Ken

    @Spanky: Creature was set in the Amazon, and the creature was human-sized.  He was also attracted to the one and only woman in the expedition, but given that she was played by Julie Adams who can blame him?

  66. 66.

    mrmoshpotato

    @MomSense:

    What could possibly go wrong? 

    Do we really want to game out a scenario?

    Ok!

    Herpes monkeys on loose using the venomous snakes as bullwhips against humans!

    Heaven help us if any of those chlamydia koalas get into Florida…

  67. 67.

    Adam L Silverman

    @Chetan Murthy: No. If you actually go back and review the Snowden history, GG helicoptered himself into what Poitras was doing and made himself the center of all the action. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Poitras either as she allowed herself to get played by Snowden and his actual handlers, which has resulted in significant harm to the US’s and our allies national security.

  74. 74.

    Miss Bianca

    @MagdaInBlack: 

    Somehow, snake handlers are going to have to come into this. Jesus, maybe all the Ivermectin dosers will finally leave some wormer on the shelf for those of us who have horses that need it, and just get themselves fucking bit to death.

    A girl can dream.

  81. 81.

    Miss Bianca

    @Adam L Silverman: That…is so fucking stupid, I…I don’t even know what to say. I mean, really, Glem? Why the fuck is a “decrease in the lesbian population” even a concern to you? Let alone having such a *fucking stupid* take on it.

  82. 82.

    Adam L Silverman

    Time to air fry some sweet potato fries and then grill the chicken I’ve had setting up in the honey-jerk marinade for the past two days.

  84. 84.

    zhena gogolia

    Just in: Kyrsten Sinema will play the lead in The Susan Collins Story, the first movie from Newsmax. It's described as "The story of a spineless young idiot who grows up to be a defiantly cowardly older idiot. The role of Susan's moral compass will be played by Lindsey Graham"— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) September 2, 2021

  85. 85.

    VeniceRiley

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): I’m so sorry! I try to comfort my fiancé with the same nacho fault over our beloved but irascible Barney. He was a grumpy dog rescue but was loved. Stroked and lost control of a hind limb and his bowels after a long illness. She gave him a best life rescue from abuse. But it hurt her heart. It always hurts. I am going to make her a pet shrine for all the dears she saved. Ashes, photos. Anyone else have ideas?

  94. 94.

    Mary G

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): It’s human nature to feel guilty when have to make such a terrible decision for a beloved member of your family like Bilbo. These feelings are bullshit. Nothing you did or didn’t do made a difference, except rushing him to the vet ASAP. That was a great gift you gave him. He was released from pain and fear.

    I started crying reading your post over my Sophie, who was 21 when I had to let her go in 2011. You will never not miss Bilbo, but another cat may choose you as their servant, and you will love them as much, but not in quite the same way.

    Condolences to you and your parents.

  95. 95.

    MagdaInBlack

    @mrmoshpotato: Hal is currently torturing me with Douche D’Souza and his lovely wife Debbie, who are terrified of the hundreds of thousands of Afghans who are going to flood our country. Oy.

  97. 97.

    Steeplejack

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):

    You have my deepest sympathy. It sounds like Bilbo had a long and happy life with you.

    There’s always a tendency to “second-guess” and “what if,” but it’s really not helpful. You did everything you could for him, Goku. Remember the good times.

  100. 100.

    mrmoshpotato

    @MagdaInBlack: I watched a bit of Hal verbally slapping around Fucker Carlson earlier, but I can’t at length.

    And DeFelon is a hard no for me.  So are Glass and Burlap.

  108. 108.

    BeautifulPlumage

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka): so sorry for your loss and that you had to experience this. May Bilbo scamper over the ? knowing he was loved so dearly. Sending virtual hugs. You did everything you could, and especially the right thing in the end. 20 years is a very long life for a kitty! And the care & love you gave him to get that far is outstanding. Peace to him & you.

  109. 109.

    Odie Hugh Manatee

    @Goku (aka Amerikan Baka):

    My condolences on your loss. That’s a long life for a kitty, that’s for sure. It’s sad that he had to be put down while in such a state of distress. I dread the day that it’s our turn to do the same for our guys.

    Tonight I’ll give our guys an extra kiss on the top of their heads, for Bilbo.

  113. 113.

    MontyTheClipArtMongoose

    @debbie: he makes perfect sense when you remember he started out as a glibertarian, & never stopped being a glibertarian

    he’s gay rand paul

  115. 115.

    Sister Golden Bear

    @Adam L Silverman, @Miss Bianca: It’s a TERF talking point, so I’m not surprised Manning was pissed about it. It’s the flip side of their “trans women aren’t women” attacks — trans men are really “confused” butch lesbians, i.e. they’re really women.

    There has been wider hand-wringing in the lesbian communities about “butch flight” — i.e. over the past decade or so, a number of people who previously identified as butches, realized they were trans men and transitioned. Historically, for better or worse, trans men have had far less public visibility than trans women, and these folks ended up in the butch lesbian community because — not knowing about trans men — it was the closest approximation to how they saw themselves. (Standard caveat, most butches do self-identify as women.)

    The good news is the lesbian communities have been much better in recent years in recognizing and acknowledging the difference between butches and trans men. The bad news, is there’s still some widespread perceptions of trans men being “men lite” — which needless to say trans men find really insulting. It’s true that some trans men have figured ways to do masculinity without the toxic parts (and are some of the sweetest men you’ll ever meet)* but they’re still men, even if they wouldn’t be welcome on Chinese TV.

    *Unfortunately, there’s an all-too-large number of trans men who’ve internalized toxic masculinity to the point their among the worst misogynistic bro-ish assholes you’ll ever meet.

  118. 118.

    Morzer

    I thought Florida (the “Snakes on a flood-plain” state) had pythons, not anacondas, but maybe the slithering hordes have mutated since I last checked.

  120. 120.

    Kosh III

    O yeah?  How about this in Tennessee:
    Memphis is the county seat of Shelby county
    Shelbyville is the county seat of Beford Co.
    Smithville is the county seat of DeKalb Co
    Carthage is the county seat of Smith Co
    Winchester is the county seat of Franklin co
    Franklin is the county seat of Williamson Co
    Fayetteville is the county seat of Lincoln Co
    Somerville is the county seat of Fayette Co
    Tiptonville is the county seat of Lake Co
    Covington is the county seat of Tipton co
    Gainesboro is the conty seat of Jackson co
    Jackson is the county seat of Madison co
    Madisonville is the county seat of Monroe co
    Athens is the county seat of McMinn co
    McMinnville is the county seat of Warren co

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