Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

It’s all just conspiracy shit beamed down from the mothership.

Let’s finish the job.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Despite his magical powers, I don’t think Trump is thinking this through, to be honest.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn.

“What are Republicans afraid of?” Everything.

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

Red lights blinking on democracy’s dashboard

The GOP is a fucking disgrace.

I’m just a talker, trying to find a channel!

And so it is for the politically and morally bankrupt Kevin McCarthy.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

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Oh Mah Gawd! Is That Floriduh! Man’s Music?!?!

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Floriduh says hold mah beer!

As a native Floriduhian, I guarantee someone in Miami actually owns one of these. I can also guarantee that either he or someone he knows will use it to try to self medicate against Covid.

And a whole bunch of people who live in the parts of the state we call BettyCracker land are right now trying to figure out how to illegally import them so they can self medicate with them against Covid.

This will all be followed by them being dumped, en masse, into the scrub in different parts of Floriduh creating a new non-native and invasive menace to go along with the monkeys that have herpes, the anacondas, the retirees from the rust belt living in the Villages who also all have STDs, and people from Long Island living in Broward and Palm Beach Counties!

Obligatory!

Looney Tunes Florida GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Open thread!

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Florida Man Does Something Good!

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Florida Man saves his puppy from a gator!

Don’t even think about messing with this Florida man’s puppy.

Richard Wilbanks, 74, acted swiftly when his 3-month-old pup Gunner was snatched by an alligator in the backyard pond of his home in Estero, near South Florida’s Gulf Coast.

In a stunning video, Wilbanks wrestles the young gator in waist-deep water, bringing it above the surface and prying open its jaws to release the King Charles Cavalier spaniel.

“We were just out walking by the pond,” Wilbanks told CNN, “and it came out of the water like a missile. I never thought an alligator could be that fast. It was so quick.”

Acting on adrenaline or instinct, Wilbanks said he just “automatically jumped into the water.”

He said he sustained some injuries to his hands and went to the doctor for a tetanus shot to be safe.

Gunner had one small puncture wound to his belly, but is doing fine after a trip to the vet, Wilbanks said.

Wilbanks told WINK News that he understands this is the alligator’s home and does not want it removed from the pond. He urged other pet owners to keep their animals away from the water’s edge.

The dramatic encounter was caught on camera thanks to a partnership between the Florida Wildlife Federation and the fSTOP Foundation as part of a campaign called “Sharing the Landscape.” Its mission is to help the community understand and appreciate the wildlife they live near and help reduce conflicts.

Meredith Budd, the regional policy director of the Florida Wildlife Federation, said the cameras typically capture videos of deer or bobcats. It’s not often they catch something like what Wilbanks and Gunner went through.

“We live on a shared landscape,” Budd said. “We don’t just want to tolerate wildlife, but, rather, we want to thrive with wildlife on a shared landscape.”

Louise Wilbanks, Richard’s wife, told WINK the incident has given them a new appreciation for the wildlife near their homes.

“We do need to be aware they are wild animals. They’re not here for our benefit. We’re very lucky to share this space with them,” she said.

Here’s a bit more video with some reporting:

As a native Floridian who grew up on a salt water canal that fed into Tampa Bay, but has also lived in areas of the state with lakes, retention ponds, and cypress swamp and scrub just outside my doors – front and back – one of the things you learn is that gators can be anywhere. And that they’re fast, very, very fast. When I’m out with the dogs near water, even if it is just low lying scrub that has filled up because of rain to form a pond, I keep eyes on the water and my ears focused on any movement in it and along its edges. Day or night!

And Gunner is a very good and very lucky boy!

Open thread!

 

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Floriduh! Man Never Takes a Day Off! Even During a Pandemic!

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From WPTV Channel 5 in West Palm Beach:

Florida authorities tracking a stolen car also discovered heroin, cocaine, guns and a baby alligator when they went to make an arrest.

Seminole County Sheriff Dennis Lemma announced details of the bust at a news conference Friday.

He said a deputy ran the plates on a car, learned it was stolen and followed it to a Lake Mary house.

That’s where deputies found the drugs and a baby alligator that was being kept as a pet.

Since it is Floriduh!, I can pretty much guarantee that the baby alligator will be charged and tried as an adult!

Open thread!

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Late Night Open Thread: Well, That Explains Tuesday…

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… but this was Monday:

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Florida Iguana! Wait, What?

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Well you don’t see this every day!

From WSVN 7 News in Miami:

A South Florida woman says she was shocked when she spotted two iguanas duking it out in the parking lot of a Starbucks in Boca Raton over the weekend.

Shannon Moskoff captured video that shows the large reptiles fighting for over a minute, as she and a friend try to figure out what is happening.

Moskoff says that she didn’t know how the fight ended since other cars were behind her.

Open thread!

 

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TGIF Open Thread: Lizard Edition

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Here’s a lizard sunning on a painted bamboo:

Didn’t have my camera handy, so please excuse the poor quality iPhone photo. It’s amazing how quickly one becomes a camera snob! Unfortunately, my offspring’s entire childhood is documented with crappy phone camera photos. I suppose that’ll be her version of my “look at all these crappy Polaroids from the 70s!”

Open thread!

PS: There’s actually an existing tag for “Lizard Blogging!” Cole is right; we have too damn many tags!

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I Don’t Have to Outrun the Bull Alligator, I Just Have to Outrun You

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This wee fellow was caught on video near Lakeland, FL yesterday.

That’s a big boy!

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